Kid Cosmic (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

[Kid] Woo-hoo!
[Kid] span style="style2"Oh no! An alien is attacking!
Ol' Man Many Men! Net formation!
Big Little Girl, load 'em up!
Whoosh!
[Kid grunting]
Alright, you're up, Portal Gorl…
Pirdle Girl… Portal Girl!
[makes swishing sounds]
[makes whirring sound]
Splat!
Another victory for Kid Cosmic
and the Super Sidekicks.
So, just like that!
One, two, three, go!
-[Papa G grunting]
-[Rosa laughing]
And… one, two, three, go!
Sorry,
"Kid Cosmic and the Super Sidekicks"?
Not sure we got the core strength
to pull this off, Kid.
Why do we need to do this?
-Couldn't Rosa drop the boulder?
-[Rosa] Yeah! Smush aliens!
No, no, no! Don't smush the alien!
Rosa!
[grunts]
-Also, what's with the names?
-I like "Ol' Man Many Men."
-You can't pronounce mine.
-Pardle Gorl!
What's next, costumes?
Guys, this training is important.
We need to know how to control our powers
and work flawlessly as a team.
So please just listen to me
and learn these 88 super-cool
team combo moves!
[Rosa and Papa G chuckling]
Combo moves might be
a little advanced for us now.
Seriously, it's like you didn't read
the Sacred Scroll of the Stones.
Sacred Scroll? What's that?
You really haven't--
The Sacred Scroll of the Stones!
It tells you about their cosmic powers
and how to control them. Oh man.
No wonder you're struggling.
You're telling me
there's an instruction manual?
-Ah!
-[grunts]
Not just an instruction manual.
Secrets too.
I love space secrets!
It's everything you need
to be a great hero.
How do you not have it?
It should've been next to the stones.
Curses! It must still be
on the crashed ship. All right, team.
-I'm pausing training temporarily--
-Hold on.
We are not listening to the evil alien.
There's obviously no scroll.
He wants to get to the ship so he can call
his leader and tell him about the rings.
What? That hadn't even occurred to me.
A communication device? On a spaceship?
-It's fine. We'll leave him here.
-Oh yeah?
-How will you know what to look for?
-You know, it's like a scroll.
-[Kid grunts]
-[laughs]
Oh, not just a scroll.
A span style="style2"space scroll.
You are a cunning opponent.
Look, I gotta go to work.
I don't have time to explain what
a bad, dangerous, stupid idea this is.
-Promise me you'll stay here, okay?
-Fine, I promise.
To do whatever it takes
to make my team hero-ready,
including leading them
to find the Sacred Scroll!
-Hooray!
-[Papa G clones] Right behind ya, Kid!
[energy humming]
Ah!
[energy humming]
[Jo screams]
Oh, sorry, honey.
-Oh.
-[indinstict chatter on line]
What?
What do you mean, something came up?
You said you'd fix it!
If not today, when?
Okay, that's a promise, Papa G.
[Jo groans]
I knew it!
You're going in search of the ship!
-Ship? What ship?
-Yep.
-You guessed it.
-[Rosa] Ship search!
Okay, fine.
I made an executive decision
as team leader.
As much as it pains me to say,
we're not a hundred percent yet.
And we really need this!
[Papa G] We packed PB&Js!
Ugh, fine.
You're gonna do what you want
no matter what.
At least if I come,
I can make sure you don't all die.
[Jo echoing] span style="style2"Don't all die…
span style="style2"Don't all die… Don't all die…
[Kid] The ship!
[Jo] Can't believe I'm doing this.
-[Kid] The ship!
-[Jo echoes] span style="style2"Die…
Listen up, Super Sidekicks.
Here's what we know.
When I found the stones,
the ship crashed in some mountains.
So the first phase
is to head toward the mountains!
Any way you could narrow it down?
It was… pretty dark.
And you're a pretty bad leader.
-Ah!
-Maybe if you flew up, you could get--
Get a better view!
I was about to say that!
[Kid] Too high, too high!
Ah!
[grunts] Ow!
Great. The guy who can fly
is afraid of heights!
We are never finding that ship!
Yes, we are! 
Come, Super Sidekicks. The scroll awaits!
[creatures snarling]
The valiant team leader,
laid low by the evil forces of vertigo,
carefully plots his next move.
Of course!
Rosa, grow big
and look for the ship in the mountains.
What? Why not?
No span style="style2"niña gigantica.
Today I'm a little horsey.
This is my span style="style2"carruaje
and my beautifulspan style="style2" princesa.
Ha! That's right! Sorry, Kid.
-span style="style2"¡Adelante!
-[Rosa neighs]
Rosa, I'm team leader.
I'm in control, so you listen to me!
-[Rosa neighs]
-Please?
Jo, tell Rosa to…
Jo?
Sorry for disappearing.
Keeping you alive is important,
but so is helping my mom during lunch.
-[Jo's mom] Where are you? Table 4's up!
span style="style2"-Gotta go! Be right back.
Wait, no!
Dang it!
[Jo] Kid, if you can't find the ship,
why not just send the Papa Gs out
to comb the desert?
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
[Kid] Papa G, I have a plan.
[energy hums]
-The ship!
-[Jo] span style="style2"Don't die, don't die…
[Rosa neighs]
I found it! Check it out.
Beautiful, huh?
The desert's full of rusty gold today.
Uh… What about the ship?
-[all] We found it!
-We found it!
The ship or more junk?
[groans]
Hey, don't get too down.
-Today's not a total loss.
-It's not?
This is primo stuff. Gonna be able
to make some grade-A yard art.
You two, 
get the truck so we can haul it home.
Copy that!
[meows]
[thunder rumbling]
[tranquil, nostalgic music plays]
[meows]
The ship!
[Jo echoing]
span style="style2"Don't die, don't die, don't die…
[yowls]
[Chuck] I have to admit, I'm surprised.
Despite some setbacks, you persevered
and managed to lead us
to the lost space ship.
Oh, wait, no, you didn't!
All you've managed to find
is garbage in the middle of nowhere!
You have no idea where we are.
We could be miles from the ship.
You don't know that.
We'll keep searching until--
Wait! This isn't desert garbage.
This is a straight-up spaceship part!
We must be close!
-Where'd you find this?
-I have no idea.
[Chuck] Ha! You really are
the worst leader I've ever seen.
And I've seen bad ones.
Terroar the Terrible--
Shut up, Chuck!
Now, Kid, remember:
Freakin' out? Breathe it out.
-No! Be nice to span style="style2"princesa!
-What are you gonna do about it?
-[Jo] It's okay, Rosa.
-[all] Ah!
The kid is worried because
we need to get the span style="style2"princesa to the castle
so she can go to the fancy ball.
Wait, what's going on here?
Yeah, sorry I got mad, Rosa.
The castle is hidden up in the mountains.
We've been looking all day.
Can you find it for us?
There! There!
[Chuck] span style="style2"¡Cuidadoso!
Up there! Shiny castle!
Whoa! The ship! I knew I'd-- we'd find it!
[meows]
[meowing]
[Carla] Tuna!
Crazy cat wandering around the desert.
[meows]
[Kid] Woo-hoo!
[Jo] Whoa!
[Papa G] Now span style="style2"that is
some good desert junk.
Come on, team! The answers await us!
Whoa.
[Chuck] Ah!
[Rosa laughing]
[snarling]
[motorcycle approaching]
[Carla grunts] Here you go, buddy.
Home again, safe and sound.
[hisses]
[truck horn blaring]
[clattering]
[truck driver] Ah!
Uh… Just a heads up, there's a 22-10
operating out near Mo's Oasis.
[dispatcher] span style="style2"Crazy feline
span style="style2"with an intent to hijack. Copy that.
See? I told you! A real alien spaceship!
Not a castle!
What is all this stuff?
Wait, don't tell me.
That's a death ray, a teleporter,
and a portable nuclear reactor.
A coffee maker,
the box they keep the coffee in,
and coffee.
So where's the scroll?
Okay, it's probably
in the ship's space safe, which is--
Oh, there!
Whoa, a space safe!
Yeah, it kinda looks like a fridge.
It's a space safe.
To unlock it,
you're gonna use that console.
Do you know Karlaxian?
Oh, fine. Okay.
Hit the button that looks like an X.
Then square, now triangle.
The hexahedron. Then five-five-five.
Hold on, how do we know
he's not having you dial up his boss?
Jo, we need this scroll.
It'll give us confidence to do everything
and not make any more mistakes!
-Kid--
-[Chuck] Ugh!
Seriously, the disrespect around here!
I go out of my way to help,
and you dare question my--
[Chuck screams]
-[snarling]
-[all scream]
[Jo] Demon Death Dogs of Doom!
Ah!
They want the rings! Scatter!
Hey! Over here, fuzzball!
¡Perrito!
[clones screaming]
Death ray, death ray, death ray!
[Chuck] Watch out! Ah! Ah!
Careful!
Maybe we can work togeth-- Oh, hello.
Ah!
[Jo] Dang it!
No, no, no! Ah-ha! Death grenade!
[beeps]
[Kid grunts, distorted]
[creatures snarling in slow motion]
[grenade zaps]
Yeah!
Got 'em!
No, you didn't.
That was a towel dispenser.
This, however, is a death ray.
-[chuckles]
-And span style="style2"this is a hostage.
I don't like this fancy ball!
If everybody stays put
for a moment or two,
I can do what I've been
waiting to do all day
and finish making this call!
I knew it!
We get it. You know everything.
You're gonna regret this
once I find that scroll!
[Jo and Chuck] There is no scroll!
[beeping]
Before I transmit,
I gotta practice what to say.
[clears throat] Hello, Great Leader,
sorry to bother you--
No, no, be cool.
Yo, GL, guess what I just did.
Too cool? Too cool. How would you
address the Great Leader? Ah!
-[Chuck] Get off of me!
-Tuna!
Watch out,span style="style2" princesa! I'll save you.
Rosa, no!
[all exclaiming]
[Jo] Hold on!
[Jo] Everybody okay?
-Yep!
-Again! Again!
Wait, where's Chuck?
Come on…
So close…
Look! There!
-[Kid] The Sacred Scroll of the Stones!
-Kid, no!
It's probably just a cookbook
or something!
Whoa! [grunts]
Curses! It's not in English!
[energy humming]
No, look! It says,
"The Secrets of the Stones"!
It's real!
Really? Weird.
Could've sworn it was
a paper towel dispenser.
Another gift for my Great Leader
when he arrives
to conquer your stupid planet.
He's gonna be impressed.
Just gotta hit transmit…
[alarm wailing]
[groans] Oh, no.
-[grunting]
-Is that the self-destruct sequence?
Give the kid a prize.
That's one thing you got right today.
Kid, come on! We gotta go!
One sec!
"There's no power without suffering,
and a great many have suffered
for this power." Whoa!
Forget about the scroll!
I can't! Without it, we're just screw-ups!
Look, Kid, I know you're afraid.
You think you need total control.
But look at everything we did today!
We found a spaceship!
Outsmarted death dogs!
We stopped an alien invasion!
Oh, not yet, you haven't.
Life doesn't come
with an instruction manual.
-None of us know what's gonna happen.
-[meow]
We're all scared!
-[Papa G] I'm terrified!
-You know what we do have?
Each other.
So just let go
and let's see what happens.
[alarm continues wailing]
-[ship] span style="style2"Ten seconds remaining.
-Why are you always right?
Kid, you can fly!
Oh, right! Whoa!
[ship] span style="style2"Three, two, one.
[Chuck exclaims]
Everybody okay?
[Chuck] More or less.
-[all yelp]
-What?
Oh. My species doesn't have
anything important below the waist.
And it's not like I need legs
to defeat you anyway!
[cackles]
Ah!
No! Bad span style="style2"princesa!
[Kid] Well, team,
we didn't get the scroll,
but I learned something
really important today.
Tuna Sandwich is psychic!
You came to save us, didn't you, Tuna?
You knew it was a trap.
I knew it was a trap!
Just because the cat followed us
doesn't mean he can predict the future.
[energy hums]
[meows]
Welcome to the team,
Tuna Sandwich, the Precognitive Cat!
[purrs]
[Jo] We need to have
a serious talk about names.
-[Rosa laughs]
-Kid, what are you doing?
I thought
because we're gonna save the world,
we should document
our adventures for humanity.
The Adventures of Kid Cosmic
and his Super Sidekicks?
Nah, that's kinda mean.
I was thinkin'… "The Local Heroes"?
-That's actually pretty cool.
-I love it.
-Yay team!
-Lame.
From this day forth, we shall be
"Kid Cosmic and the Local Heroes."
Ugh.
You know, guys,
I have a good feeling about this.
Things are gonna be okay.
-[energy hums]
-[meows]
[screaming]
[closing theme song plays]
[indistinct rockabilly singing]
Evelyn ♪
I hear you stumbling ♪
Oh, Evelyn ♪
I hear you stumbling ♪
Lemme get something to eat
Look out! ♪
Wow! ♪
They call me Tuna Sandwich, honey ♪