Killing Eve (2018) s01e03 Episode Script
Don't I Know You?
1 I believe there is a female assassin operating internationally, and she's targeted a number of influential people.
VILLANELLE: This one has asthma.
You know I like the breathy ones.
Bye-bye.
A woman in London is leading a department just to find you.
Excuse the smell.
What is this? - What's her name? - Eve Polastri.
EVE: There was a young woman, a nurse, who left the bathroom before I did.
I think I've met her.
Her hair is dark blonde, maybe honey.
It was tied back.
Uh, she was slim, about 25, 26.
She had very delicate features.
Her eyes are sort of catlike.
Wide, but alert.
Her lips are full, she has a long neck, high cheek bones.
Skin is smooth and bright.
She had a lost look in her eye that was both direct and also chilling.
She's totally focused yet almost entirely inaccessible.
MAN: Uh So, is that like a square face or an oval face? [CAT'S EYES' "GIRL IN THE ROOM" PLAYS.]
A face she doesn't recognize Is standing by the staircase She follows their eyes [MOBILE RINGING.]
Always wore the same perfume [SPEAKING MANDARIN.]
She enters the room Oh oh oh oh oh No one would ever know There was a time when she was the most Beautiful girl in the room [GREETING IN GERMAN.]
Oh oh RECEPTIONIST: Hot Medica provides bespoke hospital services for recreational purposes only and is not liable for damages for any of the following infection, blood loss, accidental mutilation, or death.
All procedures at the client's own risk.
Uh, I'm afraid Hortense was called out unexpectedly.
There is a cover nurse today.
Oh.
It's just, um - Yes? - It's my birthday.
Hortense said she would be doing something special.
Happy birthday.
I'll see what we can do.
Oh Thank you.
Oh.
Can I confirm that "Fruhstuck" is your safe word? First time.
You'll be fine.
They're really nice.
Oh, I hope not! [LAUGHTER.]
[RUBBER GLOVES SNAPPING.]
You're late.
- I'm sorry.
I had to - Take off your clothes.
I see you are a regular here at Hot Medica.
It says here that last time you received a vigorous scrotal massage.
Yes, but did Hortense tell you it was my birthday? Oh.
What? You think you are special? [CHUCKLES.]
You think you deserve special treatment? [CHUCKLES.]
No.
Okay.
[MOANING IN PLEASURE.]
Nobody gets special treatment.
- Cold? - [CHUCKLING.]
Mmm! Ah! - [TONGS TIGHTENING.]
- [GRUNTING.]
Fruhstuck! Fruhstuck! [GRUNTING.]
Fruhstuck! Safe word! You have to stop! [GRUNTING IN PAIN.]
- [HISSING.]
- What are you doing? [GASPING.]
Please! [SCREAMING.]
[MUFFLED YELLING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Look at me.
Look at me.
[GASPS.]
Is she laying out of her ass? I think it's, uh, general muck.
Is your job full-time? - Yeah.
Uh, can we still eat it? - I think so.
- And some late nights? - Um, yep.
I'm gonna Google if we can eat it.
Is it at Vauxhall Cross? Uh, no.
It's at a private location.
- It's off the books, so - Is it safe? It says it should be okay, but definitely sniff it first.
[CHICKEN CLUCKING.]
And the job? Oh, yes.
It's just gathering and analyzing information about someone.
It's not You know, I don't think we should eat it.
Risky? - Yeah.
- Is the job risky? Oh.
It's about as dangerous as eating that egg would be.
You just said the egg was too risky! [LAUGHING.]
No, no.
Wait, no.
I mean, the worst that could happen is I would get the shits at my computer because of a bad sandwich.
[CHUCKLES.]
You seem happy.
I'm just glad I have a job.
All chickens lay eggs out of their arsehole.
I love how you say that.
- Arsehole.
- Oh.
Say it again.
- [SOFTLY.]
Arsehole.
- [LAUGHING.]
She had an induced asthma attack at a political fundraiser.
She was the primary donor.
[MUFFLED.]
Yeah, I read about it this morning.
Let me guess.
You think it was a woman.
Well, she was found in the ladies.
So, yes, she's going on the wall, you ass.
Oh, hello.
Yeah.
Childcare emergency.
Oh, that's fine.
[GROANS.]
Oh, thanks.
Never have a baby in your 60s.
Don't follow behind.
She's farted.
It's horrendous.
Oh, God.
You're beautiful, but stinky! Oh, great.
The e-fit has come through.
CAROLYN: We have some news.
Uh, what's happened? - There's been another kill.
- Ah, yes.
Carla de Mann.
I've already asked Kenny to put her case up on No? His name is Zhang Wu.
He was a Chinese colonel visiting Berlin.
Heads up, cyber warfare.
In other words, he's a hacker for the Chinese military.
Murdered during a very specific fetish thing, where he He liked having small surgical operations performed on his body and having his balls clamped.
He was a regular there.
Thanks.
Suspect a Caucasian woman in her mid-20s, claimed she was covering for the other surgeon girl.
- Fetish nurse.
- Thank you.
- Witnesses? - One.
The receptionist signed her in as a temp.
Okay, great, well, let's get this e-fit image over to Berlin and get her identified.
[BABY CRYING.]
Why are you all being weird? She gave a name at the desk.
Okay.
She said her name was Eve Polastri.
Jesus.
Do you smoke? Uh, no.
Nor do I.
Shame.
Now would be good.
Yeah.
Please don't take me off the team.
I can't take you off a team that doesn't exist.
Your actions are your own.
What do you want to do? EVE: Bill, you're coming with me.
Take Elena.
Traveling makes my dandruff flare up.
Yes, take Elena! I don't think Elena should go.
I need your German, your experience, your Berlin contacts.
This is my first chance to investigate this woman for real.
I need you.
Oh, you're too sweet.
If there was ever a reason to join this team, it was to get back into the field.
It's one trip, Bill.
Huh? One trip.
- Oh, God, I'm going to die, aren't I? - [BABY GIGGLING.]
Hmm? Daddy's going to die, isn't he? - [LAUGHING.]
- EVE: Oh, come on.
It's not like she's gonna still be there.
I'm joking.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
I haven't done anything like this before.
- Me neither.
- [BOTH LAUGHING.]
- Take your hair down.
- Oh.
Okay.
It's a bit I didn't wash it.
My husband thinks I'm with the tour group for another hour, so - I love your accent.
- Thank you.
What are you doing in Berlin? I'm, uh, just killing time until my friends turn up.
You are so sexy.
Oh, my.
[LAUGHS.]
- What are we doing? - I don't know! [BOTH LAUGHING.]
- No, no.
Keep your coat on.
- Oh.
- Keep your bag on your shoulder.
- Oh.
Are we not - Your clothes are too nice.
- Oh.
I'm going to call you Eve, okay? Um, okay.
Why? It's just a little, uh, biblical fantasy thing.
Um, okay.
Do you want me to call you Adam? No, no.
That's [LAUGHS.]
That's okay.
- You ready? - Oh, God! Okay.
Now I am going to hide and you are going to find me.
You leaving me? Oh, Jesus.
What is wrong with you? I thought you had a parent's evening tonight.
I did, but I lied and said they were all angels so I could come home and do this.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
You need a hand? Yes, please.
I think it's mated with the wardrobe.
Oh.
You're so strong.
All that maths.
Ugh.
Are you? - What? - Leaving me? [LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I'm leaving you.
I'm sorry.
You're just too energy efficient.
I'm going to Berlin.
Following up a lead.
It'll only be a couple of days.
Okay.
- Are you annoyed? - No.
Label your suitcase.
You don't want to lose another one.
That was not my fault.
Are you okay? Yeah, of course.
Label it.
[CHUCKLING.]
I will.
This whole thing is such a pain in the ass.
I know, you hate your new job, don't you? I hate it.
Hmm? Now, the most likely people to assassinate a Chinese leader with a penchant for fetish - are the Chinese.
- The Chinese, I know.
I want to find out who's been looking into it here.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO.]
Why do you think she used your name? I don't know.
Let me get it.
Let me get it.
I got it.
Bill! Ah! [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Hi.
Eve.
Weber.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you so much for getting us access.
Anything for this old tart.
- [GROANING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
No, no, no.
Put it down.
Put it down.
- Why? - Chivalry.
Since when? BILL: Danke schoen.
WEBER: This way, please.
EVE: What can you tell me about the nurse with my name? WEBER: Sadly, very little.
She just disappeared.
BILL: And the victim, Zhang Wu? He was lying here, and he was poisoned with carbon monoxide, and his balls were, um I don't know the word.
- "Clamped.
" - "Clamped"? Clamped.
Ja.
That sounds right.
Any other exits? Nope.
She went out the front door.
Oh.
All their clients use fake names and cash, so we can't get any more witness accounts.
I imagine the clientele aren't keen on CCTV here.
Can we see the autopsy report? Jin, the eccentric Chinese attaché, ordered a second opinion.
Why? I assume the Chinese government weren't happy with the first, but you'd have to ask him.
How can I get hold of Jin? I'll give you his e-mail.
He never replies.
Your best bet is the morgue, really.
I'm sorry, Eve.
It's a nice one though.
Bit like the glitter morgue in Charlottenburg.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
I get you his e-mail.
Hold on.
Sounds like the Chinese are trying to bury this case.
Let's just get some lunch and e-mail the attaché.
There's a limit to what You know, I'm gonna try something.
You know what, can you watch this? Okay.
Hey.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[MOBILE VIBRATING.]
Kenny, if I give you someone's e-mail address, can you find out where they might be right now.
If their diary is connected, yes.
Great.
I'm sending it to you.
Of course, Bill.
- See you later.
- Okay.
- Thanks so much, Weber.
- No problem.
Bye.
Later? He's going to send the e-fit to the receptionist.
Oh, great.
Uh, Kenny's finding Jin for us.
And as for you Charlottenburg? [MOBILE RINGING.]
Yeah.
KENNY: I got his mobile from his e-mail.
I'm sending his precise location now.
- That is so creepy.
- I know, sorry.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
Where's my bag? - What? - Are you serious? [SIGHS.]
Niko's gonna have a field day about this.
- Bill, I asked you to watch the bag - Yeah, yeah.
[SNIFFS.]
[BAG UNZIPS.]
What? Aw Poor baby.
[TOILET FLUSHING.]
Ugh.
I thought I could smell something.
Sorry, are you having a nice little holiday here? Are you? I booked you in for one night.
So? I like Berlin.
- Have you been before? - Yes.
Have you seen the Wall? - Yes.
- The Jewish Museum? - Listen.
- That is massively poignant.
I have a job for you.
Off the record.
The woman, Eve Polasi - Polastri.
- Polastri.
She's here.
She's investigating your work.
Did you see where I did it? Very cute, yes.
These don't look like you.
Why are you so worried? - Aren't you? - No! I don't even think about her.
Why does she think it was you? [EXHALES.]
I want you to watch her.
I need to know who she meets.
This is me asking you.
Not them, okay? Just watch her.
Promise you won't be naughty.
I promise I won't be naughty.
Oh.
Sorry, they gave me the key downstair Oh, God, I'm sorry.
Oh.
Is this part of Hi, my name is Uh, this is my friend.
Her name is Pamela.
- Hi, Pamela.
I'm her - Angry uncle.
Oh.
Find out what they're doing.
Find out who they're meeting.
Don't do anything stupid.
- [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
- [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
- Wow! He was really good.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Are these for me? - Oh, yeah.
- I'm really sorry.
- Mmm.
Forget it.
I hate all my clothes.
Niko's gonna slay me, though.
Oh, plus, the green scarf he gave me is in it.
Damn it.
I did you a favor then.
Oh.
Okay.
Come on.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Jin? - [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Sorry, friends.
I don't know anything about Colonel Zhang.
My name is Eve Polastri.
Strange coincidence about your name.
Yeah.
Bit creepy.
Weber, um, mentioned a second autopsy? Why would you need one? Ah, yes, that's just come through.
Can we see it? After you've been vetted.
- When will that be? - The usual.
Six months or so.
Six months? It's in your interests to cooperate.
Listen, your colleague was targeted I'm joking! I was joking! I'll get it for you.
What do you know about this guy? Internally, the guy was known as "Fat Panda," which is a little racist.
Fattist, come to that.
But I hear that he started it so, you know, we went along.
He was based in China, but over here in Berlin a lot.
He was popular, good leader, nice man.
His death has shocked a lot of people.
Who do you think murdered him? Spoiler alert.
The new autopsy report says he died of a heart attack.
- Wait, what? - Doesn't that sound better? The nurse who was supposed to be on duty was drugged.
This was a blatant assassination.
And by the operative I'm looking for.
And as the Chinese attaché, I'm saying it was a heart attack.
Listen, the Chinese government are freaking out.
It's a PR nightmare.
This story cannot exist.
What's the Chinese story? The new autopsy concludes that he took the initiative himself when the covering nurse left the room, working the forceps to experience a shock of pain that triggered a cardiac arrest.
Not my thing.
- Not his, either.
- Why? He's a masochist.
Look, kinks are totally specific.
It's not just about pain, it's a contract.
It's about someone else taking control.
A "spankophile" wouldn't just spank himself, would he? I mean, what would be the point in that? I'm afraid we have run out of time.
- Wait.
- Maybe Miss Polastri would like to join me for dinner tonight? Perhaps we could continue the conversation then.
I might have something you could extract from me.
He wants to have sex with you.
- Don't.
- He wants to fondle you.
Only because you got him all hot with that, you know, kink stuff.
It's an important distinction.
That you know so much about because I lived here for eight years.
And? I said yes to everything for five of them.
Dark horse, aren't I? I'm going to report your bag.
You get yourself something nice to wear for tonight.
I'm taking you out after your dinner.
Uh, shall I pick up some fetish gear? Only if they have rubber chaps.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Ugh! Just talk.
Okay, Jin Yeong is a big deal within Chinese Intelligence.
He has three PhDs and a massive brain.
Carolyn says if he claims he has something, he will have something.
Is he patriotic? Nothing to imply he isn't.
- Any scandals? - 'Fraid not.
Carolyn says to play his game, however gross.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, wait.
[GROANS.]
[SCOFFS.]
This is a nightmare.
Do you want any other sizes, madam? Uh, no.
Thank you.
Danke.
Are you shopping? Hey, you know what, my suitcase was stolen, so I have to.
God, you know when an outfit is missing something, but you just don't know what? - If in doubt, don't go out.
- So useful.
Thank you.
Okay.
Bye.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Hmm.
[CHIMING.]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, hey.
Hi, darling.
God, I'm so sorry I didn't call before.
- I was just - [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, darling.
What's going on? - Um - ALL: Hi! Oh, hi! Oh, guys, hi! Oh, my God, I'm I'm so sorry I can't be there.
I had this last-minute work thing.
- More for us! - Niko is smashing it! Oh, fantastic.
Just give me one minute.
Hey! Oh, my God, why didn't you remind me? I didn't want to stress you out about your work thing.
Yeah, but we could have rescheduled.
It's been in the diary for months.
But [SIGHS.]
Okay.
Oh, what's that? Oh, uh a dress.
I didn't have the right clothes for tonight.
For Bill? No, for a contact here.
He wanted to go someplace fancy.
Apparently, I have to make an impression.
You'll look gorgeous.
Yeah, I doubt that.
Well, you go back to the gang.
And Tell them I'm sorry I can't be there.
I'm just Saving the world.
Yeah, well you guys have fun.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Is that Bill? Uh, yeah.
Say hi from me.
I will.
Good night.
Night.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
- BILL: Room service.
- Coming.
Coming, coming.
Ugh.
Thank you.
EVE ON TAPE: Tell them I'm sorry I can't be there.
- I'm just - NIKO: Saving the world.
EVE: Yeah, well you guys have fun.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
NIKO: Is that Bill? EVE: Uh, yeah.
NIKO: Say hi from me.
[REWINDING.]
- EVE: You guys have fun.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
NIKO: Is that Bill? EVE: Uh, yeah.
NIKO: Say hi from me.
EVE: I will.
Okay.
Good night.
You can't wear a bra with that dress.
Whip it off.
This is an important meeting.
Oh, and important meetings require women to go braless? No, dresses like that require women to go braless.
A monkey could tell you that.
If he has something, you have to get it out of him.
Oh, please.
[WINCES.]
I haven't flirted since the late '90s.
- How's Niko? - I think he's jealous.
Which I like, but also find annoying.
Jealous of me? Gosh.
What does he think I'm doing here? Skulking to your hotel room and convincing you to take off your bra? Have you ever fancied me? Uh - No.
- Hmm.
- You me? - No.
Hmm.
Well, that's a relief.
So, tell me what happened in Charlottenburg.
Everything happened.
- Wait.
Men? - Yes.
Were you gay? Uh I just fall in love with whoever I fall in love with.
How many men have you been in love with? Hundreds.
Does Keiko know? She's got her own thing going on.
Wait, so you guys Well I really wanted a baby, and she was rich and ovulating, so But you guys are like the perfect couple.
We're a good team.
Wow.
Bill.
Do you want to hear something really freaky? What? The conditions have to be just right, but sometimes [WHISPERS.]
we have sex.
- You dirty perverts.
- I know.
[LAUGHING.]
You ever been interested in women? Uh, no.
Not like that.
Not even ones with delicate features, sort of catlike eyes that are completely inaccessible? That is horribly unprofessional.
Do you want to hear about her tits? - I knew it! - I'm joking! - I knew it! - Oh, come on! Let's go, I'm ready.
What are you going to do? I'll find a bar near the restaurant.
I'll call you at 9:00 to give you an out.
Of course I fancy you.
You're gorgeous.
Oh, stop it! Oh, uh, walk me to the train.
BILL: I can't believe I'm letting you out unsupervised.
[SCOFFS.]
Speak for yourself.
[WOMAN SPEAKING GERMAN OVER PA.]
Next train.
Three stops.
I'll call you at 9:00.
You better.
Thank you.
(MUSIC PLAYING) [CLEARS THROAT.]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
- Wow, wow, wow.
- Hi.
You look crazy.
- Thank you.
- Sit, sit, sit.
Please sit.
Listen, I am going to be very up front here, Jin.
- I don't want - I have a lovely Chablis.
[SIGHS.]
Thank you.
Gorgeous, gorgeous.
I also got you a little, tiny, lovely gift.
Um Why did you want to see me, Jin? What do you know? Okay.
This information might make you, uh, uncomfortable.
You have a bit of tissue stuck under your armpit.
[LAUGHING.]
Come on, that was funny! Did you think I was gonna give you everything before a proper glass of wine? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey! [BELL RINGING.]
Come on! Try some! Take it, go on! God.
Do you actually have any more information for me? I'm not here to entertain you, I have a lot of work to do, I'm not wearing a bra and frankly, I just want to go home.
Are you flirting with me? - Oh.
- [MOBILE VIBRATING.]
Oh, thank God.
I have to get this.
Okay, okay, don't don't.
Okay, sorry, sorry.
Jeez.
I was just playing, okay? Okay.
You guessed right, my government fiddled with the facts, because sex.
But I guarantee, we didn't do it.
And unless I really want to piss off my superiors, I can't take this much further.
You, on the other hand What I tell you, you never repeat, okay? I may have gone as crazy as you, but I think a girl was trailing you at the U-Bahn.
I'm now following her.
Call Weber, will you? I'm on her tail, we are moving through Cassiopeia.
Call me.
I don't want to lose eyes on her.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Stop.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[GROANS.]
Last week, Fat Panda hacked into the account of an agent of the Chinese Intelligence.
An organization has been paying him millions.
We don't know what for, but a week later, both Fat Panda and the agent were dead.
- Okay.
- [MOBILE VIBRATING.]
What is that? You might have a little creature yourself.
Think of this as a friendly, little mole trap.
I'm in a club called Funkeln.
She's here somewhere, but I've lost her.
[MOBILE CHIMING.]
EVE: Excuse me one second.
Do you like chocolate mousse? H-Hold on, Jin.
Thank you, thank you, but I have to go.
Hey! You break my heart! Let me know if you change your mind about the sauna.
Uh-huh.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[PEOPLE WHOOPING.]
Emergency.
Let me in, please.
Scheisse.
Hey, hey! [PEOPLE WHOOPING.]
No! No! Aah! Aah! Don't take him Bill! He's no good to you Bill? No! No! No! Bill! No! [SOBBING.]
No, no, no! No! [SOBBING.]
Bill! Bill!
VILLANELLE: This one has asthma.
You know I like the breathy ones.
Bye-bye.
A woman in London is leading a department just to find you.
Excuse the smell.
What is this? - What's her name? - Eve Polastri.
EVE: There was a young woman, a nurse, who left the bathroom before I did.
I think I've met her.
Her hair is dark blonde, maybe honey.
It was tied back.
Uh, she was slim, about 25, 26.
She had very delicate features.
Her eyes are sort of catlike.
Wide, but alert.
Her lips are full, she has a long neck, high cheek bones.
Skin is smooth and bright.
She had a lost look in her eye that was both direct and also chilling.
She's totally focused yet almost entirely inaccessible.
MAN: Uh So, is that like a square face or an oval face? [CAT'S EYES' "GIRL IN THE ROOM" PLAYS.]
A face she doesn't recognize Is standing by the staircase She follows their eyes [MOBILE RINGING.]
Always wore the same perfume [SPEAKING MANDARIN.]
She enters the room Oh oh oh oh oh No one would ever know There was a time when she was the most Beautiful girl in the room [GREETING IN GERMAN.]
Oh oh RECEPTIONIST: Hot Medica provides bespoke hospital services for recreational purposes only and is not liable for damages for any of the following infection, blood loss, accidental mutilation, or death.
All procedures at the client's own risk.
Uh, I'm afraid Hortense was called out unexpectedly.
There is a cover nurse today.
Oh.
It's just, um - Yes? - It's my birthday.
Hortense said she would be doing something special.
Happy birthday.
I'll see what we can do.
Oh Thank you.
Oh.
Can I confirm that "Fruhstuck" is your safe word? First time.
You'll be fine.
They're really nice.
Oh, I hope not! [LAUGHTER.]
[RUBBER GLOVES SNAPPING.]
You're late.
- I'm sorry.
I had to - Take off your clothes.
I see you are a regular here at Hot Medica.
It says here that last time you received a vigorous scrotal massage.
Yes, but did Hortense tell you it was my birthday? Oh.
What? You think you are special? [CHUCKLES.]
You think you deserve special treatment? [CHUCKLES.]
No.
Okay.
[MOANING IN PLEASURE.]
Nobody gets special treatment.
- Cold? - [CHUCKLING.]
Mmm! Ah! - [TONGS TIGHTENING.]
- [GRUNTING.]
Fruhstuck! Fruhstuck! [GRUNTING.]
Fruhstuck! Safe word! You have to stop! [GRUNTING IN PAIN.]
- [HISSING.]
- What are you doing? [GASPING.]
Please! [SCREAMING.]
[MUFFLED YELLING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
Look at me.
Look at me.
[GASPS.]
Is she laying out of her ass? I think it's, uh, general muck.
Is your job full-time? - Yeah.
Uh, can we still eat it? - I think so.
- And some late nights? - Um, yep.
I'm gonna Google if we can eat it.
Is it at Vauxhall Cross? Uh, no.
It's at a private location.
- It's off the books, so - Is it safe? It says it should be okay, but definitely sniff it first.
[CHICKEN CLUCKING.]
And the job? Oh, yes.
It's just gathering and analyzing information about someone.
It's not You know, I don't think we should eat it.
Risky? - Yeah.
- Is the job risky? Oh.
It's about as dangerous as eating that egg would be.
You just said the egg was too risky! [LAUGHING.]
No, no.
Wait, no.
I mean, the worst that could happen is I would get the shits at my computer because of a bad sandwich.
[CHUCKLES.]
You seem happy.
I'm just glad I have a job.
All chickens lay eggs out of their arsehole.
I love how you say that.
- Arsehole.
- Oh.
Say it again.
- [SOFTLY.]
Arsehole.
- [LAUGHING.]
She had an induced asthma attack at a political fundraiser.
She was the primary donor.
[MUFFLED.]
Yeah, I read about it this morning.
Let me guess.
You think it was a woman.
Well, she was found in the ladies.
So, yes, she's going on the wall, you ass.
Oh, hello.
Yeah.
Childcare emergency.
Oh, that's fine.
[GROANS.]
Oh, thanks.
Never have a baby in your 60s.
Don't follow behind.
She's farted.
It's horrendous.
Oh, God.
You're beautiful, but stinky! Oh, great.
The e-fit has come through.
CAROLYN: We have some news.
Uh, what's happened? - There's been another kill.
- Ah, yes.
Carla de Mann.
I've already asked Kenny to put her case up on No? His name is Zhang Wu.
He was a Chinese colonel visiting Berlin.
Heads up, cyber warfare.
In other words, he's a hacker for the Chinese military.
Murdered during a very specific fetish thing, where he He liked having small surgical operations performed on his body and having his balls clamped.
He was a regular there.
Thanks.
Suspect a Caucasian woman in her mid-20s, claimed she was covering for the other surgeon girl.
- Fetish nurse.
- Thank you.
- Witnesses? - One.
The receptionist signed her in as a temp.
Okay, great, well, let's get this e-fit image over to Berlin and get her identified.
[BABY CRYING.]
Why are you all being weird? She gave a name at the desk.
Okay.
She said her name was Eve Polastri.
Jesus.
Do you smoke? Uh, no.
Nor do I.
Shame.
Now would be good.
Yeah.
Please don't take me off the team.
I can't take you off a team that doesn't exist.
Your actions are your own.
What do you want to do? EVE: Bill, you're coming with me.
Take Elena.
Traveling makes my dandruff flare up.
Yes, take Elena! I don't think Elena should go.
I need your German, your experience, your Berlin contacts.
This is my first chance to investigate this woman for real.
I need you.
Oh, you're too sweet.
If there was ever a reason to join this team, it was to get back into the field.
It's one trip, Bill.
Huh? One trip.
- Oh, God, I'm going to die, aren't I? - [BABY GIGGLING.]
Hmm? Daddy's going to die, isn't he? - [LAUGHING.]
- EVE: Oh, come on.
It's not like she's gonna still be there.
I'm joking.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
I haven't done anything like this before.
- Me neither.
- [BOTH LAUGHING.]
- Take your hair down.
- Oh.
Okay.
It's a bit I didn't wash it.
My husband thinks I'm with the tour group for another hour, so - I love your accent.
- Thank you.
What are you doing in Berlin? I'm, uh, just killing time until my friends turn up.
You are so sexy.
Oh, my.
[LAUGHS.]
- What are we doing? - I don't know! [BOTH LAUGHING.]
- No, no.
Keep your coat on.
- Oh.
- Keep your bag on your shoulder.
- Oh.
Are we not - Your clothes are too nice.
- Oh.
I'm going to call you Eve, okay? Um, okay.
Why? It's just a little, uh, biblical fantasy thing.
Um, okay.
Do you want me to call you Adam? No, no.
That's [LAUGHS.]
That's okay.
- You ready? - Oh, God! Okay.
Now I am going to hide and you are going to find me.
You leaving me? Oh, Jesus.
What is wrong with you? I thought you had a parent's evening tonight.
I did, but I lied and said they were all angels so I could come home and do this.
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
You need a hand? Yes, please.
I think it's mated with the wardrobe.
Oh.
You're so strong.
All that maths.
Ugh.
Are you? - What? - Leaving me? [LAUGHING.]
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
I'm leaving you.
I'm sorry.
You're just too energy efficient.
I'm going to Berlin.
Following up a lead.
It'll only be a couple of days.
Okay.
- Are you annoyed? - No.
Label your suitcase.
You don't want to lose another one.
That was not my fault.
Are you okay? Yeah, of course.
Label it.
[CHUCKLING.]
I will.
This whole thing is such a pain in the ass.
I know, you hate your new job, don't you? I hate it.
Hmm? Now, the most likely people to assassinate a Chinese leader with a penchant for fetish - are the Chinese.
- The Chinese, I know.
I want to find out who's been looking into it here.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO.]
Why do you think she used your name? I don't know.
Let me get it.
Let me get it.
I got it.
Bill! Ah! [BOTH LAUGHING.]
Hi.
Eve.
Weber.
Nice to meet you.
Thank you so much for getting us access.
Anything for this old tart.
- [GROANING.]
- [LAUGHING.]
No, no, no.
Put it down.
Put it down.
- Why? - Chivalry.
Since when? BILL: Danke schoen.
WEBER: This way, please.
EVE: What can you tell me about the nurse with my name? WEBER: Sadly, very little.
She just disappeared.
BILL: And the victim, Zhang Wu? He was lying here, and he was poisoned with carbon monoxide, and his balls were, um I don't know the word.
- "Clamped.
" - "Clamped"? Clamped.
Ja.
That sounds right.
Any other exits? Nope.
She went out the front door.
Oh.
All their clients use fake names and cash, so we can't get any more witness accounts.
I imagine the clientele aren't keen on CCTV here.
Can we see the autopsy report? Jin, the eccentric Chinese attaché, ordered a second opinion.
Why? I assume the Chinese government weren't happy with the first, but you'd have to ask him.
How can I get hold of Jin? I'll give you his e-mail.
He never replies.
Your best bet is the morgue, really.
I'm sorry, Eve.
It's a nice one though.
Bit like the glitter morgue in Charlottenburg.
[BOTH LAUGHING.]
Yeah.
I get you his e-mail.
Hold on.
Sounds like the Chinese are trying to bury this case.
Let's just get some lunch and e-mail the attaché.
There's a limit to what You know, I'm gonna try something.
You know what, can you watch this? Okay.
Hey.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[MOBILE VIBRATING.]
Kenny, if I give you someone's e-mail address, can you find out where they might be right now.
If their diary is connected, yes.
Great.
I'm sending it to you.
Of course, Bill.
- See you later.
- Okay.
- Thanks so much, Weber.
- No problem.
Bye.
Later? He's going to send the e-fit to the receptionist.
Oh, great.
Uh, Kenny's finding Jin for us.
And as for you Charlottenburg? [MOBILE RINGING.]
Yeah.
KENNY: I got his mobile from his e-mail.
I'm sending his precise location now.
- That is so creepy.
- I know, sorry.
Okay, thanks.
Bye.
Where's my bag? - What? - Are you serious? [SIGHS.]
Niko's gonna have a field day about this.
- Bill, I asked you to watch the bag - Yeah, yeah.
[SNIFFS.]
[BAG UNZIPS.]
What? Aw Poor baby.
[TOILET FLUSHING.]
Ugh.
I thought I could smell something.
Sorry, are you having a nice little holiday here? Are you? I booked you in for one night.
So? I like Berlin.
- Have you been before? - Yes.
Have you seen the Wall? - Yes.
- The Jewish Museum? - Listen.
- That is massively poignant.
I have a job for you.
Off the record.
The woman, Eve Polasi - Polastri.
- Polastri.
She's here.
She's investigating your work.
Did you see where I did it? Very cute, yes.
These don't look like you.
Why are you so worried? - Aren't you? - No! I don't even think about her.
Why does she think it was you? [EXHALES.]
I want you to watch her.
I need to know who she meets.
This is me asking you.
Not them, okay? Just watch her.
Promise you won't be naughty.
I promise I won't be naughty.
Oh.
Sorry, they gave me the key downstair Oh, God, I'm sorry.
Oh.
Is this part of Hi, my name is Uh, this is my friend.
Her name is Pamela.
- Hi, Pamela.
I'm her - Angry uncle.
Oh.
Find out what they're doing.
Find out who they're meeting.
Don't do anything stupid.
- [DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
- [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
- Wow! He was really good.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Are these for me? - Oh, yeah.
- I'm really sorry.
- Mmm.
Forget it.
I hate all my clothes.
Niko's gonna slay me, though.
Oh, plus, the green scarf he gave me is in it.
Damn it.
I did you a favor then.
Oh.
Okay.
Come on.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- Jin? - [SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Sorry, friends.
I don't know anything about Colonel Zhang.
My name is Eve Polastri.
Strange coincidence about your name.
Yeah.
Bit creepy.
Weber, um, mentioned a second autopsy? Why would you need one? Ah, yes, that's just come through.
Can we see it? After you've been vetted.
- When will that be? - The usual.
Six months or so.
Six months? It's in your interests to cooperate.
Listen, your colleague was targeted I'm joking! I was joking! I'll get it for you.
What do you know about this guy? Internally, the guy was known as "Fat Panda," which is a little racist.
Fattist, come to that.
But I hear that he started it so, you know, we went along.
He was based in China, but over here in Berlin a lot.
He was popular, good leader, nice man.
His death has shocked a lot of people.
Who do you think murdered him? Spoiler alert.
The new autopsy report says he died of a heart attack.
- Wait, what? - Doesn't that sound better? The nurse who was supposed to be on duty was drugged.
This was a blatant assassination.
And by the operative I'm looking for.
And as the Chinese attaché, I'm saying it was a heart attack.
Listen, the Chinese government are freaking out.
It's a PR nightmare.
This story cannot exist.
What's the Chinese story? The new autopsy concludes that he took the initiative himself when the covering nurse left the room, working the forceps to experience a shock of pain that triggered a cardiac arrest.
Not my thing.
- Not his, either.
- Why? He's a masochist.
Look, kinks are totally specific.
It's not just about pain, it's a contract.
It's about someone else taking control.
A "spankophile" wouldn't just spank himself, would he? I mean, what would be the point in that? I'm afraid we have run out of time.
- Wait.
- Maybe Miss Polastri would like to join me for dinner tonight? Perhaps we could continue the conversation then.
I might have something you could extract from me.
He wants to have sex with you.
- Don't.
- He wants to fondle you.
Only because you got him all hot with that, you know, kink stuff.
It's an important distinction.
That you know so much about because I lived here for eight years.
And? I said yes to everything for five of them.
Dark horse, aren't I? I'm going to report your bag.
You get yourself something nice to wear for tonight.
I'm taking you out after your dinner.
Uh, shall I pick up some fetish gear? Only if they have rubber chaps.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
Ugh! Just talk.
Okay, Jin Yeong is a big deal within Chinese Intelligence.
He has three PhDs and a massive brain.
Carolyn says if he claims he has something, he will have something.
Is he patriotic? Nothing to imply he isn't.
- Any scandals? - 'Fraid not.
Carolyn says to play his game, however gross.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hold on, wait.
[GROANS.]
[SCOFFS.]
This is a nightmare.
Do you want any other sizes, madam? Uh, no.
Thank you.
Danke.
Are you shopping? Hey, you know what, my suitcase was stolen, so I have to.
God, you know when an outfit is missing something, but you just don't know what? - If in doubt, don't go out.
- So useful.
Thank you.
Okay.
Bye.
Excuse me.
Oh.
Hmm.
[CHIMING.]
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING.]
Oh, hey.
Hi, darling.
God, I'm so sorry I didn't call before.
- I was just - [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey, darling.
What's going on? - Um - ALL: Hi! Oh, hi! Oh, guys, hi! Oh, my God, I'm I'm so sorry I can't be there.
I had this last-minute work thing.
- More for us! - Niko is smashing it! Oh, fantastic.
Just give me one minute.
Hey! Oh, my God, why didn't you remind me? I didn't want to stress you out about your work thing.
Yeah, but we could have rescheduled.
It's been in the diary for months.
But [SIGHS.]
Okay.
Oh, what's that? Oh, uh a dress.
I didn't have the right clothes for tonight.
For Bill? No, for a contact here.
He wanted to go someplace fancy.
Apparently, I have to make an impression.
You'll look gorgeous.
Yeah, I doubt that.
Well, you go back to the gang.
And Tell them I'm sorry I can't be there.
I'm just Saving the world.
Yeah, well you guys have fun.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
Is that Bill? Uh, yeah.
Say hi from me.
I will.
Good night.
Night.
[KNOCKING CONTINUES.]
- BILL: Room service.
- Coming.
Coming, coming.
Ugh.
Thank you.
EVE ON TAPE: Tell them I'm sorry I can't be there.
- I'm just - NIKO: Saving the world.
EVE: Yeah, well you guys have fun.
[KNOCK ON DOOR.]
NIKO: Is that Bill? EVE: Uh, yeah.
NIKO: Say hi from me.
[REWINDING.]
- EVE: You guys have fun.
- [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
NIKO: Is that Bill? EVE: Uh, yeah.
NIKO: Say hi from me.
EVE: I will.
Okay.
Good night.
You can't wear a bra with that dress.
Whip it off.
This is an important meeting.
Oh, and important meetings require women to go braless? No, dresses like that require women to go braless.
A monkey could tell you that.
If he has something, you have to get it out of him.
Oh, please.
[WINCES.]
I haven't flirted since the late '90s.
- How's Niko? - I think he's jealous.
Which I like, but also find annoying.
Jealous of me? Gosh.
What does he think I'm doing here? Skulking to your hotel room and convincing you to take off your bra? Have you ever fancied me? Uh - No.
- Hmm.
- You me? - No.
Hmm.
Well, that's a relief.
So, tell me what happened in Charlottenburg.
Everything happened.
- Wait.
Men? - Yes.
Were you gay? Uh I just fall in love with whoever I fall in love with.
How many men have you been in love with? Hundreds.
Does Keiko know? She's got her own thing going on.
Wait, so you guys Well I really wanted a baby, and she was rich and ovulating, so But you guys are like the perfect couple.
We're a good team.
Wow.
Bill.
Do you want to hear something really freaky? What? The conditions have to be just right, but sometimes [WHISPERS.]
we have sex.
- You dirty perverts.
- I know.
[LAUGHING.]
You ever been interested in women? Uh, no.
Not like that.
Not even ones with delicate features, sort of catlike eyes that are completely inaccessible? That is horribly unprofessional.
Do you want to hear about her tits? - I knew it! - I'm joking! - I knew it! - Oh, come on! Let's go, I'm ready.
What are you going to do? I'll find a bar near the restaurant.
I'll call you at 9:00 to give you an out.
Of course I fancy you.
You're gorgeous.
Oh, stop it! Oh, uh, walk me to the train.
BILL: I can't believe I'm letting you out unsupervised.
[SCOFFS.]
Speak for yourself.
[WOMAN SPEAKING GERMAN OVER PA.]
Next train.
Three stops.
I'll call you at 9:00.
You better.
Thank you.
(MUSIC PLAYING) [CLEARS THROAT.]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
- Wow, wow, wow.
- Hi.
You look crazy.
- Thank you.
- Sit, sit, sit.
Please sit.
Listen, I am going to be very up front here, Jin.
- I don't want - I have a lovely Chablis.
[SIGHS.]
Thank you.
Gorgeous, gorgeous.
I also got you a little, tiny, lovely gift.
Um Why did you want to see me, Jin? What do you know? Okay.
This information might make you, uh, uncomfortable.
You have a bit of tissue stuck under your armpit.
[LAUGHING.]
Come on, that was funny! Did you think I was gonna give you everything before a proper glass of wine? [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Hey! [BELL RINGING.]
Come on! Try some! Take it, go on! God.
Do you actually have any more information for me? I'm not here to entertain you, I have a lot of work to do, I'm not wearing a bra and frankly, I just want to go home.
Are you flirting with me? - Oh.
- [MOBILE VIBRATING.]
Oh, thank God.
I have to get this.
Okay, okay, don't don't.
Okay, sorry, sorry.
Jeez.
I was just playing, okay? Okay.
You guessed right, my government fiddled with the facts, because sex.
But I guarantee, we didn't do it.
And unless I really want to piss off my superiors, I can't take this much further.
You, on the other hand What I tell you, you never repeat, okay? I may have gone as crazy as you, but I think a girl was trailing you at the U-Bahn.
I'm now following her.
Call Weber, will you? I'm on her tail, we are moving through Cassiopeia.
Call me.
I don't want to lose eyes on her.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Stop.
[SPEAKING GERMAN.]
[GROANS.]
Last week, Fat Panda hacked into the account of an agent of the Chinese Intelligence.
An organization has been paying him millions.
We don't know what for, but a week later, both Fat Panda and the agent were dead.
- Okay.
- [MOBILE VIBRATING.]
What is that? You might have a little creature yourself.
Think of this as a friendly, little mole trap.
I'm in a club called Funkeln.
She's here somewhere, but I've lost her.
[MOBILE CHIMING.]
EVE: Excuse me one second.
Do you like chocolate mousse? H-Hold on, Jin.
Thank you, thank you, but I have to go.
Hey! You break my heart! Let me know if you change your mind about the sauna.
Uh-huh.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING.]
[PEOPLE WHOOPING.]
Emergency.
Let me in, please.
Scheisse.
Hey, hey! [PEOPLE WHOOPING.]
No! No! Aah! Aah! Don't take him Bill! He's no good to you Bill? No! No! No! Bill! No! [SOBBING.]
No, no, no! No! [SOBBING.]
Bill! Bill!