King of Stonks (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1
A NETFLIX SERIES
[gentle music playing]
[Felix] And now you've reached the top.
But it still doesn't feel that way.
Just be happy!
Come on, Felix,
no one presents honest balance sheets.
Everyone lies.
Business people, politicians, the press.
The question isn't if you lie,
but whether they believe you.
Okay, I've adjusted the
number of new customers.
But the presentation
we'll have to be careful
[shushes]
The Forum. It's calling.
Only the really big players make it here.
Tim Cook, Jeff Bezos, and Elon.
[Sammy] Yeah, right,
the world's biggest assholes.
- [Felix] Sammy, shut up like we agreed.
- No! It's okay, leave him alone.
- [Felix] You promised. No, I won't
- [Magnus] Leave him alone.
Assholes or not, what do you think the
three men I just spoke of have in common?
They each have millions
who follow them on Twitter.
And you have 10,000 followers
and one tweet of spaghetti.
[Magnus chuckling]
- Hashtag CarboDiem.
- [Magnus] Yeah, that's great.
Look, I mean, if I can get 10,000
followers posting spaghetti,
- that's really not bad.
- Hm.
That's a lot more than the average user
who only has, what, Steffi?
- Hm?
- [Magnus] Tell me, how many people
- follow you? Three? [chuckles, snorts]
- [chuckles]
One hundred eleven thousand,
three hundred and five.
[Felix] What?
I once filmed myself trying to find
a parking spot during Karneval.
And then my account basically exploded.
Yeah, but unlike you, Steffi is likable.
That helps
What? I'm not likable?
You're showing up in a private jet. Even
the Chinese come by train every year.
- Julie Roux's gonna love hating you
- Julie who?
She's our hero.
[applause, cheers]
[in French] For 50 years,
the rich and powerful have met
at the Global Economic Forum.
And they claim
to be making the world a better place.
What have they achieved?
Nothing! Nothing!
The Global Economic Forum in Geneva
opened today, but not without protest.
Led by activist Julie Roux,
thousands of demonstrators marched
through Geneva
but didn't make it
to the conference itself.
Now, business expert Tom Wieland.
We'll go to him live for
his impressions from the scene.
Here at the Global Economic Forum,
the business elite are anxious
- to see CableCash's presentation.
- [engine revs]
There have been insider rumors
about incredible growth figures.
However, tomorrow we'll see
if those figures are really so good,
or if they're too good to be true.
Look at this! And I'm not likable?
[chanting]
[banging]
- Oh come on, say hi to your bubble.
- [indistinct yelling]
- No, no, no! What are you doing?
- [door opens]
[shouts]
- Shame on you! Shame on you!
- You're ruining the country!
- [indistinct clamor]
- Yeah, baby, yeah!
[Magnus] Steffi, now put that in the
in the Internet, okay?
Then we'll see soon enough
who's got the bigger bubble.
- [upbeat music playing]
- [indistinct clamor continues]
[Tom] Check them out. The world's
economic elite.
A pretty woman like you could just
marry one of them to get rich
- instead of sniffing around here.
- I'd rather get in bed with you.
[indistinct chatter]
If I had to choose between them and me,
I'd get into bed with me too.
[Sheila] Right. But that's not the reason
you wanted to meet with me, was it?
- I looked at your folder.
- Well?
After the Forum, I could publish
an article that would really hurt them.
Really? Tom,
that would be so helpful. Seriously.
I'm still missing a few sources,
but maybe we can go public earlier.
Let's wait until after the presentation,
then I'll show you what I've got.
If the short sell doesn't work,
I'm totally fucked.
- And not just a little fucked. You know?
- [chuckles softly]
- Like, people like to say they're fucked.
- Right.
- But I'd be really, really, really fucked.
- Better get on it.
[Sheila] Thanks.
Looks like the smooth Tom
I remember is still in there somewhere.
[footsteps receding]
[narrator] The "Smooth Tom" she remembers
was her business journalism professor
until he slept with Sheila.
A guy really can't get
away with that these days.
Now he's a freelance
economics correspondent
but he still dreams
of fixing his reputation.
An article that exposes the country's
biggest visionary as a fraud
would be a great place to start.
[Felix] Somehow I need to make sure
we can leave here in three days,
without the press tearing us to pieces.
[Alex] And maybe bringing the
whole company in a party bus
wasn't the best decision.
[indistinct clamor]
[Felix] No, no, no, we're not getting
drunk yet tonight. Okay?
No, guys, guys!
Everyone, please sit down.
Unfortunately, we have to work a little
before we start with that.
- [booing]
- Hey, quiet! Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet.
Okay, the show tomorrow, guys,
is our big kick-off.
After that, fan out, okay?
Networking! Networking! Networking!
We have to leave a respectable impression.
Okay, first point. The first thing
about CableCash is
- [man coughing]
- Huh?
[man coughing]
[Felix] Okay. Okay. All right
Guys?
[Magnus] Test, test, test.
Is this fucking thing on?
So, and this here
is our headquarters.
[people cheering]
This is where my warriors
are preparing for the big battle!
- [cheering]
- [Magnus] Hello, everyone!
- [cheering, applauding]
- [chuckles]
Hello! Good evening.
Turn off that stupid music,
I have something important to tell you.
There was once a little boy
who nobody believed in,
not even his father.
Would that poor boy ever have
dreamed of flying in a private jet
and getting to play with all the big boys
at the Global Economic Forum in Geneva?
[cheering]
- Abso-fucking-lutely! [chuckles]
- [cheering]
So, what do you want us to do now?
We're gonna go through
the entire press list and see
who could be a problem for us.
- [Alex] From our panel?
- No, the whole Forum.
That's gonna take a while.
Aren't you being a bit paranoid?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
You, my friends,
you can all really live it up today.
And make sure that
this Forum never forgets!
- Cable
- Cash!
- Cable
- Cash!
- Cable
- Cash! Cash! Cash! Cash! Cash!
- We love our boss, fuck yeah!
- Now, dear friends
- One more thing.
- Fuck!
[Magnus] Thai Klaus!
[female narrator] In the world of beauty
and wealth, Klaus is satisfied
with just wealth.
Klaus knows people.
And he knows things. Knowledge is power
KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
and Klaus knows how to use that power.
[shouting]
- [grunts]
- [grunts]
- [grunts]
- [grunts, makes noise]
[laughter]
[loud music playing]
- He's just bringing the fondue.
- [people cheering]
Like in Vienna when
he just brought Sachertorte
then Magnus went missing for two weeks?
Yeah, but they came back with millions.
- Feliche!
- Klausi! Hey!
We're lucky to have Klausi here, he knows
the entire Asia faction at the Forum.
He once kidnapped the husband
of the head of Bank of Thailand,
the CEO's wife, I don't remember.
Right, Klaus?
Yeah, you know, the currency crashed,
I made out like a bandit,
and all the CEO got
was hogtied and fired!
[both laugh]
Listen up, mesdames et monsieurs!
There are rules in Switzerland.
And the most important one
is the fondue rule.
If a piece of bread falls in,
the deal is
that you have to run
naked through the lobby!
[cheering]
[Klaus] Stir, my friends!
[cheering, applauding]
Come on, boss. Go on, try it.
Don't let them ruin our night.
So Felix is finally joining us!
He's missing the crust,
you know, mistake number
- Oh!
- Oh!
People! People! People! It's happening!
[all] Strip! Strip! Strip! Strip!
Magnus, we're not actually
doing this, are we?
- [Magnus] Of course we are.
- That was my bread.
Oh, well, that works too.
As long as we follow the rules.
- There's no need for that.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Rules are rules.
Now strip and get running.
[indistinct whispers, laughter]
Felix!
Let's go.
[cheering]
[all] Sascha! Sascha! Sascha!
Come on, forget it.
It's too hot in here for me anyway.
- I'll do it for you.
- [cheering]
- [cheers, applause]
- [Klaus] Are you ready to
[cheers, applause]
- [chuckles]
- [cheers, applause continues]
Magnus is a real fucking asshole.
[indistinct chatter]
Yeah, I'm done.
[indistinct chatter continues]
- Magnus, I'm going to bed.
- Felix.
If you fuck this up tomorrow,
we're finished.
All right, you know what?
Anyone knows how important
tomorrow is, it's me. All right?
Do you think I'd ever harm these people?
They're family.
You love numbers so much. Look, look here.
Our stock went up 20% in one day
because investors
are so excited for tomorrow.
- [Klaus whistling]
- [chuckles] Klaus!
[applause, cheering]
[intense music playing]
[door unlocks]
[water running]
[Felix] Okay, Felix, stay calm.
As long as Magnus goes onstage
with you in his ear,
everything will be fine.
He's just a bat costume
and you're Bruce fucking Wayne.
[Magnus] I have something special
for you, 30%.
You wanted 30%,
I'm giving you 30%. [chuckles]
- That's the one. Tweet that, come on.
- Yeah. Yeah.
[cheering]
- [man] One hundred and fifty!
- Yes!
[all cheering]
I love you! I fucking love you!
[screams]
[woman] Well, it was a pleasure
to get to know Mr. CableCash in person.
You are my last hope.
The only one who can prevent Europe
from being left behind
the US and China. [chuckles]
HOW COOL IS THE DUDE?
The future of the entire digital economy
in Europe rests on my shoulders.
- [chuckles] Oh, no pressure!
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I have to introduce
you to someone. Hey, Einar!
Come here.
This is Einar, my Icelandic oil prince!
Mon petit prince!
I'd double my investment if you tell me
about your quarterly figures.
I can tell you stockholders, you're not
gonna forget tomorrow's presentation.
It'll be unforgettable.
- [Magnus chuckling]
- [Einar] Oh, this again!
Hey there, Jutta, tell me,
how many Dalmatian puppies
had to die for this?
You're still up partying?
I thought tomorrow
you have to put on an early show.
Yes. And it'll be great.
[Jutta] Hopefully you don't have
nightmares about all your online haters.
Oh, please, Jutta.
[Magnus] That's what's called a "meme,"
and it creates a "buzz."
If five million people follow you
because they hate you,
you still have
five million followers. [chuckles]
[Magnus] Now you know the deal.
Because I have followers,
which isn't the case for you, dear Jutta,
I don't need sleep.
[all cheering]
- Super!
- [chuckles]
[groans]
[phone vibrating, beeping]
15 MISSED CALLS
78 NEW MESSAGES
FELICE, WHERE ARE YOU?
I NEED YOU
FELIX WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH
I FEEL SICK
MISSED VIDEO CALL
Of course.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [indistinct announcement over PA]
Okay, knock again.
It's starting in a few minutes. Do it now!
- Just fucking go inside.
- [Stefanie over phone] What if he's naked?
I don't care. Go in!
- [Stefanie] Magnus?
- [upbeat music playing]
Magnus?
I don't even think he slept here.
Keep looking until
you find him, goddamn it!
- [chuckling] Hello.
- Oh, wow.
So? Nervous, huh?
- Oh, well. It's cool. [chuckles]
- Luck, luck, luck! [chuckles]
You really better kill it today.
The American Treasury Secretary is here.
Oh!
I want a photo with him and Magnus.
Can you arrange that for me?
- Yes, we can arrange that.
- Germany does more than data protection.
- [clicks tongue, chuckles]
- [chuckles]
Okay.
Hey, Alex! Holy shit, where are you?
We have a huge fucking problem!
[indistinct chatter]
Then just tell me he's not there, okay?
Fuck! Magnus isn't coming.
Well, what are we
going to do? Look around.
All these people are ready to
watch him jerk off.
- [indistinct announcement]
- What? Who gave the signal?
- No! No! Alex, stop them!
- [audience applauding, cheering]
[woman] Give it up
for the CEO of CableCash!
- Shit! What do we do now?
- [Alex] You have to do it now.
- What? Why me?
- You're the fucking COO.
You've got this.
[audience cheer, applause]
Calm down.
- I can't do this. [groans]
- Of course you can.
Because you're the real brain, Felix.
I knew right away,
and so will everyone else
when they hear you speak.
- I'm the brain.
- You're the brain.
- I'm the brain.
- You're the brain.
- I am the brain.
- You're the brain.
[audience applauding, cheering]
[grunts]
[audience applauds, cheers]
Hello, Geneva!
[woman 1] Who's that fatass?
[woman 2] We want Magnus!
- [chuckles] My name
- [man] Who the fuck are you, man?
- [man] Magnus!
- is Felix Armand.
- A random trainee?
- [woman] Loser!
I am the CEO
I am the COO of CableCash.
- [indistinct clamor, booing]
- Yes?
Cramer! Cramer! Cramer!
[audience cheers, applauds]
[Felix] First of all, I'd like to
Sir, Magnus rented
a party villa with Klaus.
- He did what?
- Mm-hmm. [inhales sharply]
Ladies and gentlemen.
[chuckles] Don't worry.
Uh, of course, nobody replaces
our Dr. Magnus A. Cramer.
- [audience cheering, applauding]
- [Alex] Nobody.
I I was just informed that
Dr. Cramer met someone here at the Forum
and is currently in a meeting
which he couldn't postpone.
I'm sure all of you
[tense music playing]
all of you on another occasion
here at the Forum.
That's just who he is!
CableCash first! Always!
Thank you all so much for coming,
and thank you for your trust.
Thank you thanks.
There was
a spectacular downswing
in the market today.
Digital payment provider CableCash's
stock has fallen on turbulent times.
Here's more from
economics expert Tom Wieland.
The CEO of the hour, Magnus Cramer,
simply failed to show up
for his much-anticipated debut at the GEF.
But we did get to see
a fairly, well, embarrassing appearance
by COO Felix Armand.
[indistinct clamor]
What the fuck?
- I saw it. Yeah. Yeah. I saw it!
- What the fuck?
Why aren't you doing anything?
Is Is he crashing our stock on purpose?
- Do any of you care?
- I'm sure he had a plan in place, Felix.
[bangs]
Give me that. Um.
Alex.
- You ready?
- Yeah, okay.
- CableCash is a company
- [keyboard clicking]
that relies on the individual strengths
of its employees.
Success is by no means solely
Wait No, no, no, no, no
Its prosperity is not dependent
on Dr. Magnus A. Cramer.
Company management
[clears throat]distances itself
from his statements
and actions, and assures stockholders
Stop, stop. Just wait.
Assures what?
Assures stockholders, that
under Felix Armand's leadership
- What, Felix? What are you doing?
- [Felix] A press release.
- [Alex] It's a dissolution contract.
- Just in case.
[Alex] You serious?
You guys. We need to have
a message ready.
He's nuts,
and you have to understand that.
This is fucking dangerous!
If he starts a scandal because
he can't keep his dumb mouth shut,
or because he doesn't show up
to present our quarterly figures,
then then we have to be ready.
Our hands are tied, you guys!
Okay?
He is crazy, and we're the
last bastion of defense!
- Yeah, a bastion. Fuck yeah!
- Yeah, Felix, you got it!
- [Felix] We can't go on like this!
- No way!
All right, guys. This isn't just
about our jobs.
It's also about all our friends' jobs.
Their families.
We have to take responsibility, okay?
And I seriously feel
like I'm alone out here, you guys!
You're never alone here.
I feel like, are you with me?
- Yes, sir!
- Yes, Felix.
- Do you support me?
- [all] Yes, of course!
- Are we in this together?
- Yeah, Felix!
- Are you in? Yes?
- Yes!
[Alex] Okay, Napoleon,
may I please interrupt?
Sure.
"Press releases on structural changes
to the company must be approved
by the executive and supervisory boards."
Paragraph four, B.
You can get Magnus to sign,
then I'll get supervisory board approval.
And you can finally dream of being
the caliph in place of the caliph.
Sounds great. Print it.
[Stefanie] Done.
We're saving this company, okay?
As a team.
[door opens, creaks]
Well, are you coming? Guys?
You have to get up Yeah.
- [upbeat music playing]
- [water flows]
- [lively music playing]
- [water ripples]
- [birds chirping]
- [rooster crows]
- [wind blowing]
- [water rippling]
[chicken clucks]
[glass clanks]
What the hell is this? Magnus?
- Magnus.
- Ah!
- Feliche!
- Magnus, the party's over.
[Magnus] Oh, bullshit!
It's just barely getting started.
- Look at this.
- Fuck it. You don't get it.
It's all going even
better than I expected.
I took the pulse of the world's elite
last night, and, oh my God, they love me!
Everybody knows Mr. CableCash.
I just want to know where
he got that fucking shampoo.
Do you know how many percentage points
our stock has sunk in the last few hours?
CableCash!
- Is that clear?
- It's just a little hiccup.
- A little hiccup?
- Felix!
We can stop lying to our investors.
Because now all they want to know
is who is this mysterious Dr. Cramer is!
Because I didn't show up there, well,
the buzz about me is even bigger now!
- Controlling the narrative, Felix.
- [chicken clucks]
When I'm doing well,
the stock's doing well.
I hold this a sec.
- I
- [chicken clucks]
am
the stock!
- Huh, Klaus?
- Yeah?
Show him, on Twitter I'm trending.
See? If this keeps up, Felix.
Soon I'll have even more followers
than this this eco-fuck weirdo.
Then you'll see.
Yeah, but more followers
isn't always better.
What are you trying to say?
- Huh?
- I'd like for
for you to sign something
for me, hm?
[suspenseful music playing]
[paper rustles]
[chuckles] You think I'm crazy, huh?
No, I think in the interest of the
- Why, because I'm insane?
- Well well well
Yeah, but, Felix, a signature
is only legally valid
if it comes from a sane person.
So I am actually sane.
- Well, see, if you
- Then why would I sign
- saying that I'm not?
- [imitating chicken noises]
It doesn't work.
Alex? I need something to write with.
That doesn't work. Does it?
Okay. This is a D minus.
Performance did not meet expectations.
You're gonna have to redo it.
Okay. Arrivederci.
Hey, guys. So what's up?
Everyone have a swimsuit?
[all] Yeah!
- Woah!
- [Alex] Well, that worked out great.
- [Magnus chuckling]
- [chicken clucking]
- [woman chuckling]
- [water splashes]
[cheering]
[woman cheers, screams]
- Cable!
- Cash!
- Cable!
- Cash!
- Cable!
- Cash, Cash, Cash!
- [grunts]
- [thuds]
[Felix] Does every family have a father
who's just a phenomenal asshole?
[Sascha] I mean, yeah.
I think so. Mine is.
Eventually, I got sick of it
and moved out.
[Felix] So either we move out
or we turn into assholes.
- Sure, boss.
- No, seriously. Everybody loves assholes.
Egocentric narcissists
become presidents,
then they get all the accolades
and all the attention.
And if you play by the rules,
no one even knows you exist.
- Then maybe we don't play by the rules.
- What can we do, though?
If I didn't always save his ass,
the world would see the real Magnus.
[sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
[footsteps]
[mischievous music playing]
I have a plan, but I need your help.
- Okay.
- And I need help from
Sammy!
Are you any good with Photoshop?
[fast-paced music playing]
Put it on Twitter, Instagram,
Reddit, and Facebook.
[Sammy] No, Facebook's not dope.
[Felix] I don't care.
The whole world needs to see it.
And we need a good hashtag.
[door knocking]
[door unlocks]
- Come in. Not much time.
- Okay, I got everything.
- How did you
- [chuckles softly] Google.
[chuckles softly]
[Felix] You think you're the stock?
Okay, Magnus. Let's watch you crash.
Orange badges
are for media representatives.
You don't look like a media rep.
[Felix] They all look the same.
Well, I feel the Forum
has become more accomplished
and more open
for more discussions like that.
- Don't you think so?
- Ah, yeah Definitely.
It has, but it's also kind of become
boring. Don't you think?
Like, I I miss the old Forum
where there was actual conflict, you know?
Like, today I'd want to see
someone like Julie Roux debate
- Jeff Bezos?
- [man] No, no. No way!
Hey! Dr. Cramer?
- Dr. Cramer is great.
- [indistinct chatter]
Now look. Guys, look what I found
on the Internet. Huh? Dr. Cramer.
[crowd] Tax the rich! Tax the rich!
Tax the rich! Tax the rich!
[Sascha] And who are the blue badges for?
[Felix] Blue is very good.
They're the official attendees
of heads of state.
- Where you from?
- Germany. You?
Oh, no way! Close enough.
I'm from Austria.
Have you seen this?
I think it's just great.
- [Eliza] I'd like to see that.
- Right?
But my wife wanted another kid,
so what was I supposed to do?
[both chuckle]
What about you? This is the first time
a green badge has been interested in me.
[Felix] Purple we can ignore.
They're just technicians.
Total waste of time.
Green. They're the most important.
CEOs, government officials,
leading media bosses.
Sometimes, even the Forum President.
But it won't be easy to get to them.
So appeal to his ego.
President for two years!
I've been the president for 50 years now.
- [all chuckle]
- Yes, but for how much longer?
I mean, I associate the Forum
with big moments.
When you tried to make
Arafat and Peres reconcile.
Or when Gorbachev and Helmut Kohl
had a personal conversation,
here at the Forum.
What happened
to history-making moments like that?
Perhaps that's a good sign.
[chuckles] There are fewer conflicts.
On the contrary!
Have you seen the social media fight
between the activist Julie Roux
and Mr. CableCash?
It's a hot topic here at the Forum,
and you're not even giving it a stage.
- Maybe your husband's lost his bite.
- Sadly, I must agree with you.
[all chuckle]
[upbeat music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
- [train horn honking]
- [crash]
KUNKELMANN TIRE SERVICE
HEY, MARCO, I NEED A "TIRE CHANGED"
[Woman 3] It was nice to see you,
talk soon.
- Hi, Amira.
- [Sheila] Hey.
If I didn't know better,
I'd think you were following me.
- Hmm.
- [indistinct chatter continues]
Sorry I took off at karaoke.
Hey, you were just afraid
of getting killed on stage, I get it.
[chuckles]
"Adam Smith."
That's the best you could do?
Um, yeah, but green badges mean
we're the good guys, so
Hm. At an event
only bad guys attend.
- [chuckles]
- Congrats! That's great. Super.
A few years ago
I hated these guys so much.
[scoffs]
He who's not a communist at 20 has no
heart. And he who is still a communist
- What up, brah!
- Brah!
[Felix] Oh, fuck. How'd they find me?
We've been looking everywhere for you.
Check it out. We look like
real businessmen, right?
We are, you tard!
Yeah, new business, new name.
- Now we just need a headquarters.
- Headquarters, that's what's up.
That's why we're hunting
with the Grand Duke of Luxembourg.
Yeah. Cool, yeah.
Well, enjoy yourselves, then. Bye.
Mm
Just one small thing, Felix.
We were bragging about you guys.
Then that asshole duke said we couldn't go
unless we brought you and Magnus.
That's That's not possible. I'm in
- In a meeting.
But you still owe us a favor,
on account of Visconti. Huh?
We owe you a favor?
After Magnus and I were almost fucking
Can we Oh, sorry. Can we do this later?
Or we could just exchange numbers?
- [Sheila] Sure. Sure.
- Stop it.
[indistinct chatter]
- There you go.
- Yeah, uh, great.
- Have fun!
- Yeah, good.
Hey, maybe I can
exchange numbers with you, too.
- [Sheila] Ciao.
- Sorry, ciao.
- Later.
- [Sheila] No problem.
You playboy! Fuck, fuck, fuck!
You little fucker.
- [opera music playing]
- [birds chirping]
GRAND DUKE OF LUXEMBOURG
- [engine revs]
- [birds chirping]
Felix, I understand
if you think I'm crazy.
- Yeah?
- Many geniuses were accused of it.
They said Ludwig II was a schizophrenic.
I mean. [chuckles, snorts]
Well, scientists proved
that he had a shrunken brain.
There's often a fine line
between genius and madness.
- Yeah, that's not at all what I
- Yeah, yeah.
You know where this insanity got us?
Or rather, this genius?
Where?
Tomorrow there will a panel with just me
and, well, that snooty brat Julie Roux.
It was organized
by the Forum president himself.
He realized that at the Forum,
as well as online,
we're all that anyone's interested in.
Everyone'll be there, little buddy.
It's gonna be streamed. Live.
It was just announced. And right here.
Bam! The stock prices are climbing.
And when I'm finished
with that little activist twerp,
our stock's going to explode!
Mark my words!
Yeah, Magnus, you're right.
Who cares about quarterlies?
- You are the stock, right?
- [gunshot]
Oh, fuck!
- The shit was that?
- What was that?
What the fuck are those
dumb assholes doing?
- [Till] You get it?
- [Fabian] Yeah, man!
Kingslayer! Suck my balls, Rambo!
Hey! You idiot!
You can't just shoot like that.
- [Till] But he hit it.
- Yeah, but he just injured it.
Now we got to look for the damn thing.
Uh, Cramer?
Would you join me as forerider?
- The fuck?
- [chuckles]
Yo, did he say "foreskin?" [chuckles]
Hey, man. Together, we're the foreskins.
Yeah, bro. We're the foreskins.
[Fabian chuckling] That's right.
Mr. Cramer, we really don't get nervous
if prices fluctuate a little bit.
That's all part of it.
And if the Germans don't want you,
we have a nice place for you.
Felix, Felix,
dude, we already have a name.
- Yeah.
- Boys To Men.
- Like the boy band?
- What boy band?
It represents how we made it.
From young smut peddlers
to real fucking businessmen, you know?
[Till] Language, Fabian! Watch your mouth.
I'm sure you'd be happy to
receive some of the benefits,
enjoyed by IKEA or Amazon.
They're very happy with us.
- Hey, the critter!
- [Magnus] That's it?
- You guys shot fucking Bambi!
- Who will do the honors?
- Felix.
- [Felix] No, I won't do it.
No, no, no! No, I can't. No, I can't!
"No, no, no! I can't do it."
- Are you gay or something?
- Hey, hey! What century are you living in?
If he's gay,
that doesn't mean he's a pussy.
[Fabian] Oh, but "pussy" is okay?
What's that say?
That a person is weaker
because he or she has a pussy?
Well, look at him. It's possible.
Maybe he has both.
[Fabian] You know, whatever,
I just meant that "pussy" has
[gunshot]
- [crows cawing]
- Listen, you fucking porno pygmies.
Acting like big-time businessmen
in your first communion suits
Your dumb idea
but you don't have
the first clue about business!
You would be lucky to have one ounce
of Felix's strategic foresight.
[Whispering] What's "foresight?"
But if you're looking for two gigantic
morons who'll pay you a bunch of taxes,
your search is over.
They come highly recommended.
And your barn door is open.
Felix, come on. We're going. Assholes.
[gunshots]
"The Hermann brothers served as
a stepping stone
into the highly profitable world
of financial crime for the bank."
"If it were taking place in Duckburg
and not not Düsseldorf,
the story would be amazing."
"Sadly, the victim is not Scrooge McDuck,
but the German taxpayer."
[chuckles softly] Whoa. I love it.
- [Tom] See?
- So good.
- [Tom] I'm not out of the game yet.
- [chuckles]
[Tom] Despite my
townhouse and minivan. Here.
Thanks.
If we can get this out there
while the stock is already shaky,
those guys'll be finished.
This is perfect.
I love win-win deals.
[Sheila] "The profit margins given
eclipse those of similar providers
from Norway by over 200 times as much."
"To achieve that, CableCash would have
to process 30 million transactions a day."
Did you check that? That's not from me.
What?
[Sheila]
"The federal government is building its"
"The federal government is
building its infrastructure
on a foundation of pipe dreams."
- What's wrong
- Oh my God! Seriously?
- Come on!
- Hey, that's enough, man!
Sheila, come on.
It's been too long.
Hey, all right, Tom.
That's enough. Get off of me.
Hey, come on, Sheila.
You know how much work
I put into that article?
Fuck off. You think I'm ungrateful?
Screw your shitty article.
Hey, give me a break, Sheila.
That's not why that's not why I did it.
Like I can't find another
mediocre journalist
to string some sentences together.
[door slams]
[man over phone] Pretty boring dude,
your Tom Wieland.
Average career, two kids,
married for eleven years, eugh.
Separated briefly due to his infidelity.
- Nothing else?
- [man over phone] All right. Yeah, well
Oh! Oh, that's right. So his father worked
for an insurance company
and was fired without note.
Okay. That's no help to me.
[man over phone] He was fired after he
got bad advice from a strategy consultant.
The guy shut down his whole department.
After that his father never found work,
his wife left, and he drank
himself to death. [chuckles]
Guess what the consultant's name was.
No clue.
I don't have time for this, man.
- Dr. Magnus Aurel
- No!
- [man over phone] Yes!
- No!
[man over phone] Cramer.
[chuckling] Magnus Cramer, yes.
- What do I owe you?
- First one's on the house, bro. [chuckles]
[door knocks]
Can I come in?
- Absolutely not.
- Wait, wait, wait, one moment.
I want to announce a press release
on your program tomorrow.
- Have a nice night.
- No, wait, wait.
I already know you're not after CableCash.
You're after Cramer.
And I know why, too.
[door closes]
[Tom] If you think you can get rid of me
with money, you're mistaken.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I don't want to get rid of you.
I want to help you get rid of Magnus.
Okay?
You keep trying to get him via CableCash
but that won't work, because
[scoffs]
They're stable. Okay? It's clean.
Nothing there. But Magnus? If he were
to undo himself tomorrow at the panel
and embarrass himself live
in front of the world's economic elite.
As far as I know, you're
always in his ear. Hm?
And if I'm not?
What if I can't be with him
there tomorrow, because I'm with you?
Reading a press release live
to calm investors and
You want to distance yourself from Cramer
and make yourself
CEO,
you backstabbing snake. Wow. [chuckles]
You can call me Felix.
Why are you so sure I won't just
publish all of this in an article?
Because if you do I'll reveal the
real reason you're smearing CableCash.
Your editorial office will learn about
Magnus and your father.
I'm also a bit of a journalist.
[snapping] Have a nice evening.
[Tony] Corner office, assistant too
More driven than me and you ♪
He is the chief executive
A visionary, so attractive ♪
In short, a man who fascinates ♪
[Tony] His brand-new teeth
Like shining blades ♪
[snorts]
- [Magnus] Strength.
- [Julia] Strength?
[grunts]
[Magnus] Sense of honor.
[Julia] Honor.
- [grunts]
- [groans]
[sighs]
[sighs]
HEY FELIX, I'M GLAD I'LL HAVE YOU
IN MY EAR AGAIN TOMORROW.
[message sent tone chimes]
[sighs]
On the last day of the Global
Economic Forum in Geneva,
the most important topics of global
economics will continue to be discussed.
The focus today will be on
ethics in the digital space.
And prominent guests of the Forum
have arrived on time for the main event.
The panel with activist Julie Roux
and Dr. Magnus Cramer.
Cramer, CEO of CableCash,
who, after a short downtrend, should be
delighted at his dazzling stock price.
Meanwhile, the appearance of activist Roux
is fueling protests in the city center.
And the police are expecting
further riots there.
Special forces are in place to
guarantee security at the Forum.
[warbling]
Nothing bad can happen
without negative energy.
[applause]
I am proud
that the Forum has always been a place
- where the great conflicts of our time
- [Klaus grunts]
It's voicemail. You could just say you
ate something that didn't agree with you.
[Magnus scoffs]
She's just a kid. I'm gonna be fine
without Felix in my ear. But
Um, hey, Klaus, if I, um
If I get stuck out there
- then just, you know, throw me a bone.
- Of course.
[grunts]
Nothing bad can happen
without negative energy.
[Magnus] Yeah, yeah.
A warm welcome
to Julie Roux and Dr. Magnus A. Cramer.
You sure he's not coming?
[audience cheering, applauding]
[audience cheers, applauding]
I'M KEEPING TO OUR AGREEMENT YOU?
ON OUR WAY. BE RIGHT THERE.
[Magnus] Thank you, uh, Julie.
First I'd like briefly talk about
[Felix] The world is watching.
Let's see how long he lasts alone.
- About CableCash's values.
- [in French] No such thing.
[audience laughing, applauding]
What was that? [chuckles]
Did no one ever teach you
not to interrupt adults?
[audience applauds, cheers]
Have you ever heard of data mining?
[Felix] No, he has not.
Apart from working
with incredibly dubious customers,
CableCash also gathers
sensitive data from users.
Just imagine
if that data was in the wrong hands.
Data from thousands
of online customers
who don't even know
CableCash processes their payments.
[scoffs] But it's also user data
from criminal platforms
[Felix] Well, Magnus, guess your dad
was right to never believe in you.
Yeah, well, about this,
the data mining problem
You just learned that term
from me right now, didn't you?
[Klaus] Say, "Oh, so you think that
you people can teach us something?"
So you think that you
people can teach us something? Huh?
- [Julie] Yes!
- [Magnus] Yeah, sure, come on.
You're too lazy to work.
[audience cheers, applauds]
[Klaus] That's good, Magnus.
Now you've got her.
It's true, yeah!
"You people?"
Wow, what "people," exactly?
- [Klaus] Oh, shit! Children. Children!
- No, I meant
- [Klaus] Children!
- [Felix] Game over, Magnus.
What the hell is this?
[Magnus] Children who hang out
on the street doing nothing, not working.
Oh, no, no, no!
I didn't mean because you're an African!
[crowd clamoring]
- That's not what I meant!
- I'm French, Dr. Cramer! French
MAGNUS IS BURYING CC ON LIVE TV.
Okay, just relax. Stay strong!
WHERE ARE YOU?
No, no, no, no You guys
MY SHARES ARE CRASHING RIGHT NOW. WTF?
[Magnus] What I meant to say is that,
if someone has never worked and someone
else has given their best for 30 years,
then it's ridiculous
Okay, we're about 20 minutes away
from the stock tanking entirely.
We have to get through!
There's no other way?
That didn't even occur to me!
There has to be another way, damn it!
[Sascha] It's blocked.
This is the only way through.
That's not possible. Come on.
There must be be another way!
I have to get to Tom! This is live!
Before the stock bottoms out.
I have to calm the investors.
Oh, fuck!
I'm screwed! I'm so screwed!
[intense music playing]
[Sascha] I got this, Felix.
- [intense music playing]
- [gun loads]
["Morning Has Broken" playing]
- [gunshots]
- [indistinct clamor]
Sascha! What the fuck?
[Sascha] People are trying to work here!
[news reporter] We interrupt our program
for breaking news.
In Geneva, there was an armed attack
GUNSHOTS IN DOWNTOWN GENEVA
on the peaceful protests
against the Global Economic Forum.
Unfortunately, the current
situation is still unclear.
[audience shouting]
[news reporter] The police have
not reported any victims at this time.
As of now, we do not yet have
any information on the motive
or origin of the alleged attacker.
We will continue to keep you up to date.
Sascha! What the fuck? Sascha!
Sir, can you please
agree to come with us, please?
Sascha, run! What the fuck?
[gunshot]
["Morning Has Broken"
by Cat Stevens playing]
Sweet the rain's new fall ♪
Sunlit from Heaven ♪
Like the first dewfall
On the first grass ♪
[Sascha groans]
Praise for the sweetness
Of the wet garden ♪
[groans] Fuck! Fuck!
- Don't shoot! Don't shoot!
- [groans]
- Hey!
- [Felix grunting]
Mine is the sunlight ♪
Mine is the morning ♪
Born of the one light
Eden saw play ♪
Praise with elation ♪
Praise every morning ♪
God's recreation of the new day ♪
Morning has broken ♪
Like the first morning ♪
Blackbird has spoken
Like the first bird ♪