Knight Rider (1982) s01e03 Episode Script

Hi, uh, Lieutenant.
Need a little | help? Nope.
I need a lot of help.
Someone tried to kill me last night.
I think it may be time | for another funeral.
Michael, three heat-seeking rockets | are approaching from the southwest.
Is this a car or a spaceship? - Can you take a direct hit, KITT? | - I don't think we want to find that out.
Oh, no.
My God, no.
He was inside.
Did you see | who it was? Does it matter? We gotta stop him.
| Move! Okay.
Okay.
Whoa! | That's a close one.
Michael, slow down.
| You're going to crash.
I can handle it, KITT.
But you're | approaching a dangerous curve.
Your chance of survival | is less than.
04 percent.
Will you stop with the odds? | I can handle Aah! Aah.
! Sorry, Michael.
That makes | it 42 to three, my favor.
Well, these computer things | are just a waste of time anyway.
Ahem.
Oh, present company excluded, | of course.
KITT, go to manual.
| We're stopping.
Really? Why? Is there a | young lady in the vicinity? How'd you know that? Really, | Michael.
You're so predictable.
Michael, I hate to bring it up | we still have a mission waiting.
Don't worry about it.
Hi, uh, Lieutenant.
| Need a little help? Nope.
I need a lot of help.
| I'm Michael Knight.
Robin Ladd.
| What's the problem? It won't go.
Don't get | too technical on me here.
Mind if I take a look? Be my guest.
| Pop the hood, huh? Ohh! | Ooh.
You're right.
Won't go.
You got a bad hose in there.
| It's totally shot.
Where you headed? | Englehart Army Base.
No kiddin'.
I'm going right | past there.
You want a lift? Thanks.
I'll just get | my gear.
You got it.
Well, KITT, looks like we're | gonna join Travelers Aid.
- Gonna give the little lady a lift.
| - But what about her vehicle? - We're gonna have to tow it in.
| - What do you mean, "we"? Hey, hey, shh.
Quiet.
Did I hear wrong | or did you say "tow"? Yeah, you know, tow, | connect her car to our car.
Tow.
Me? Michael, I was not designed | to be a tow truck.
I have numerous complex systems | which could be adversely affected.
Come on, KITT.
| You're built like a brick garage.
Michael! So what brings you | to our neck of the desert? Work.
| What kind of work? Um, something like insurance.
| How long you been away? Two years, in Germany.
| It's funny.
When I was just an army brat | at the post school, Englehart was my home.
Now it's my assignment.
| Army brat, huh? Was your mom an officer? | No, my dad.
And he's still there.
He's not expecting me till next week, but I | wanted to be able to march into his office and say, "Colonel Ladd, sir, | I'm reporting for duty.
" Hope he won't mind.
| He won't.
If they had officers like you when I | was in uniform, I never would've left.
Colonel Ladd? I'm sorry, sir.
I thought | this was Colonel Ladd's office.
It is.
| You must be Lieutenant Ladd.
I'm Major Sanderson, | General Duncton's adjutant.
Pleased to meet you, sir.
Could you | tell me where I could find my father? I think perhaps you'd better | talk to General Duncton.
Come with me, please.
What? Problems? | You know the army.
Hurry up and wait.
Excuse me, General, but Robin Ladd, | as I live and breathe! Look at you! You're a poster | for the modern army.
What's going on? Where is | my father? Is he on leave? Or didn't he get my message? | Sanderson, didn't you tell her? No, sir, I didn't.
| L- I thought you'd rather.
Then you don't know.
| Know what? Oh, Robin.
There's been an accident.
I'm sorry.
His jeep went into Buena | Vista Gorge out in the desert.
He probably blacked out | before he ever felt anything.
Daddy.
Oh, no.
There we were, two old warhorses, | Ernest Ladd and I, toasting each other | over our latest promotions.
Suddenly he tells me, "Fred, you're not | gonna bust those two trainees, are you? '' And I say, "Well, Ernie, we found 'em | in the C.
O.
's residence "havin'a party with some nurses.
What do you expect me to do? '' He looks at me and he says, "I expect you to remember that you and I | did the same thing in Eisenhower's office.
'' Well, that was Ernie to a "T.
'' Anytime you'd swell up | like a pompous balloon, there he'd be | with a stickpin.
You know, I don't know what they'd say | at the war college, and I don't care, but to me, Ernest Ladd | was the ideal soldier, a man of war who loved peace most of all.
Is there anything I can do? Thank you.
| I'm all right.
Robin, your father sounded | like a fine officer, a fine man.
He was.
Well, what are your plans now? | Are you gonna stay? This is my new post.
Of course | I'll stay.
I have a job to do.
No, nobody said he'd been drinking.
| He just lost control of the wheel.
I guess his reflexes | weren't what they used to be.
Maybe there is something | you can do.
Didn't you say you were in | insurance? Yeah, something like that.
Then answer this | could a healthy, sober man Iose control of a vehicle he drove | every day on a road he drove every day? I don't know.
| Why don't we find out? Terrific.
Meet me in half an hour | outside of B.
O.
Q.
That's 1600 hours, got it? | Yes, ma'am.
Sorry.
You can take the girl | out of West Point, but I'll be there.
| No demerits if I'm late, okay? - Michael, I'm afraid I have some alarming news.
| - I'm sitting down.
I've checked my circuits, and due to that towing | incident, my alpha circuit is malfunctioning.
Yeah, I'm real sorry, KITT, but I think | we can manage for a while without it.
Michael, what if it was | your alpha circuit? Okay, okay.
| You're still under warranty.
Call the home office.
That was very convincing.
| And productive.
You sure your father was coming | in this direction? Yeah.
Why? Robin, the turn is inside towards the cliff, | not outside towards the drop.
If your father was coming | in this direction and he lost control | exactly where I did, he'd end up exactly where I did | against the hill.
At worst, he'd end up | messing up his paintjob.
Well, then what made him | go off the road? This could be the reason.
| I found it near the edge.
What do you think, | Sarge? I think it may be time | for another funeral.
So while you were overseas, | your father never said anything, he never wrote anything about | unusual events back here at the base? Nothing like that? | Nope.
If he discovered anything, | it must have been recently.
I could check out his quarters.
| Good idea.
I'll check out his office.
KITT.
We gotta find a way in there.
| "We," Michael? I think I would attract a great deal | of attention inside that building.
Unfortunately, so would I.
| Unless Michael, I detect | a certain tone in your voice.
Oh, what tone is that? The one where you're convinced | you've come up with a brilliant idea.
The next thing you know, | you're doing something foolhardy, and I'm in my surveillance mode.
KITT.
| Yes, Michael? Go into your surveillance mode.
Stupid thermostat! | Can I have a candy bar? Yeah, sure.
Hey, Mac.
I run a business | here.
For an hour, maximum.
Hey, I gotta sell my sandwiches.
| I'll buy them too.
I got chips and pretzels.
| Buy your chips and pretzels.
You know, for another 20, | I'll adopt you.
Oh, hi.
| Would you guys like a snack? Where's Sanj? Sanj? What's | that, some kind of Indian thing? No, Sanj, the regular | sandwich vendor.
Oh, Sanj! He's on vacation.
I'm covering for him.
| Yeah? Where's your health card? Health card? | Yeah.
The one that shows you vendors | ain't got no diseases we might catch.
Oh, that health card.
| I left that at home.
But I'm the picture of health.
| See? Do you see that? | I don't see that.
Let's take him in | for a checkup.
Come on.
| Uh Uh What exactly were you doing, | Mr.
Knight? Just trying to make a buck, | Major.
Is that a crime? No.
Then you could explain | the cards in your wallet? What cards? "Michael Knight, | Speedy Repairman.
" "Michael Knight, | Quick Carpet Cleaner.
" "M.
Knight Enterprises.
" "Swedish massage while you wait.
" Major, times are rough.
I gotta | take oddjobs to make ends meet.
I was very lucky that Uncle Sanj | gave me this job.
Uncle Sanj.
| Even his family calls him that.
Yeah, well, yes, sir.
| We're a close family.
Very close.
That should be easy enough | to check Mr.
Knight.
Oh, yeah.
Help yourself.
| Anything for our boys in uniform.
Your Uncle Sanj | verifies your story, Mr.
Knight.
The next time you want to | make a buck, get a health card.
Yes, sir.
Oh, uh, candy bar | on the house? Sir.
What's that vendor | here for? Nothing much.
Why? | Oh, no reason.
I thought I served | with him in 'Nam.
Cotler, James.
| I got a job for you.
Lieutenant Ladd's civilian | was snooping around the post.
Well that certainly | was food.
What, not everyone likes junk? I do.
I like junk food, | but that stuff goes beyond junk.
Well, are you ready | to compare notes? Your turn.
| Yeah, right.
Um, was your father | a handyman type, you know? Do-it-yourself? | No way.
He had to call the quartermaster | just to change a lightbulb.
Why? Well, I sort of borrowed a file | from the military police.
- It said your father had blue paint on his hands.
| - Blue paint? Yeah.
| That ring any bells? No.
Michael, | I've been thinking.
I know I started | this whole investigation of ours, but it just seems like | we're running around in circles.
And we really haven't | found anything.
Well, I did find that empty | cartridge case at the gorge.
On an ordinance testing center, | that's not much.
You want to call it quits? You make it sound like | retreating before the enemy.
Michael, I have my own life, | my own career.
Dad wouldn't have wanted me | to waste that by chasing down shadows.
And you have your insurance business | to take care of.
All right.
You got your career waiting, | and I got the General Patton Motel waiting.
What do you say we sleep on it? Maybe | inspiration will strike in the night.
If not, we'll throw in the towel | tomorrow morning over breakfast.
Okay.
Okay.
Good night.
Good night.
There he is.
| There he was.
Michael, I hate to bring it up again, | but we still have a mission awaiting.
Mr.
Miles will be quite miffed | if we don't get on with it.
Don't worry.
It's my responsibility.
I know.
| That's what worries me.
Hey, KITT, how about a | little music, huh? Sorry.
The alpha circuit | took out the radio too.
You're never gonna forgive me | for that, are you? Michael, forgiveness implies an emotional | state that has no application in my case.
However, I doubt that | I shall ever forget it.
Hey! Michael, I believe, as usual, | you may have attracted the attention of some highly homicidal | personalities.
- Michael, are we going to just sit and take this? | - No.
Okay, now send the same data | back in the pipeline to Washington.
We'll pick up any glitches when | we compare copy.
It's already done.
Sir.
It's amazing how you | handle this, Robin.
My generation still gets nervous | around adding machines.
Well, you have to be | confident around them.
They can sense fear, | you know.
Glad to see you haven't lost | your old spark.
Thank you, sir.
I'm glad to see you haven't lost | your old devious charm.
What? Begging your pardon, General, | but you didn't come out here to check on | the Pentagon computer link.
- You came out here to check on me.
| - Well, why would I do that? It's not regulation.
- Then I must be wrong.
| - Like hell.
Robin, I need to talk Mr.
Knight, isn't it? | Yes, sir.
Now, what could keep | a footloose civilian like you in a boring place like this? General, it's the color scheme.
| I love olive drab.
Robin, now you remember | call me for anything.
Yes, sir.
It's a little late for breakfast.
| And where's your towel? I'm not throwing in the towel yet, | Robin.
You've been right all along.
Oh, we hit the jackpot, Lieutenant.
- Came back clean as a whistle.
| - Oh, that's excellent, Webb.
Um, why don't you | take a break now? Thank you, ma'am.
What are you saying? Your | father didn't die in an accident.
Now, something's going on around | here, something worth several murders.
Why didn't you tell General Duncton? | He could ask the M.
P.
S to investigate.
The M.
P.
S wrote your father off | a long time ago.
I'm not ready to trust | anybody around here yet.
- How do you know all this anyway? | - Partly a hunch and, uh, partly a whiplash.
Got a map of this base? Okay, right right there.
Unless your father liked to | climb mountains in the moonlight, the only place he could have | been coming from is C-11.
What is Complex C-11? C-11 is Munitions.
- Michael, you can't go in there.
| - Of course not.
It's still daytime.
Put that good-bye breakfast on hold.
I was wrong.
Your efficiency | is anything but subtle.
- Michael.
| - Yes, KITT.
The home office has arrived.
They're | waiting 2.
4 miles to the northwest.
How nice of them.
Hi, Bonnie.
Devon.
We came as soon | as we got KITT's signal.
What's wrong with you? It's my alpha circuit, Bonnie.
| Your alpha circuit? KITT, the only way that you could | damage that is to do something stupid like towing another car.
- Right? | - Bonnie, no comment.
You're one in a million, pal.
I know.
- Michael, may I have a word with you? | - Yeah.
Excuse me.
| Anytime.
Yesterday you were sent | on assignment for the Foundation.
I know, I know, but | But But what? You never arrived.
| You never called.
You were out here doing do | What are you doing? If you'll let me get a word in, | I'll tell you what I was doing.
I was investigating something suspicious | at the Englehart Weapons Center.
Really? I didn't know that the | military police had been disbanded.
I appreciate the assignment and I'll | get to it.
By tomorrow morning I'll Michael, I can no longer sanction | your wild-goose chases.
Devon, someone tried | to kill me last night.
I have an alibi.
Believe me, Devon.
| This army thing is important.
You have my word | it'll all work out.
Excuse me.
| Uh Yeah.
Uh Where was I? "Believe me, this army thing is important.
| You have my word it'll all work out.
" Thanks, Devon.
| I knew you'd see it my way.
Oh, my God.
- General | - Can I help you, Lieutenant? Where's General Duncton? | He's off the post.
- Something wrong? | - Yes, sir.
Something is very wrong.
This is a printout | of the artillery inventory.
Take a look at that list.
This is a classified document, | Lieutenant.
You're under arrest.
You knew all along.
You're too much like your father, | Lieutenant.
He didn't know when | to keep his eyes closed either.
You killed him.
Where is Lieutenant Ladd? I'm sorry.
L-I'm afraid I | have some bad news.
What? Sergeant Perkins arrested her last | night, drove her off in an M.
P.
Jeep.
Major Rainey? Major Rainey, | why was Robin Ladd arrested? Well, well.
If it isn't the sandwich | man.
Major, it's important.
Why? I don't know what you're talking about.
| Lieutenant Ladd hasn't been arrested.
Sergeant Perkins picked her up | in an M.
P.
Vehicle.
Perkins? Perkins isn't in the | military police.
He's in Munitions.
Munitions? Get a move on.
| Get that last batch loaded.
The plane with our customers | arrives at 1000 hours.
KITT, stop those two! Where is Robin Ladd? | L I don't know.
You're gonna be in big trouble, | Knight, accosting army personnel, destroying | government property.
Oh, really? Major, these shells are blue.
According to that chart over there, | they're armor-piercing shells.
What if somebody | repainted them? I know it's an awful thought, | but just suppose.
Well, then they might be tactical nuclear weapons that somebody | was planning to sell to, oh, some nasty people | around the world.
Don't worry.
| There won't be an explosion.
Just enough radiation | to last quite a few half-lives.
You know the saying "One nuclear bomb | can ruin your whole day.
" - All right! Stop! | - Where is she? - She's at ground zero.
| - What the hell are you talking about? The test range.
| She's locked inside a target vehicle.
Catch! Move, KITT.
Okay, you guys.
| Over here.
Get in there! | Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
May I have your attention, please? This is Ordinance Test | Control Center.
Clear all personnel | from target vehicle test zone and commence firing.
Repeat: Commence firing.
KITT, can you get me | army frequency? - Certainly.
The Pentagon? | - Duncton! Get me Duncton! Yes, Mr.
Knight? | You're where? - Halfway across the target zone.
| - Are you out of your mind? You'll be killed if you don't | get out of there.
General, listen.
I have proof that a group of men at the | post tried to steal tactical nuclear weapons.
Sanderson | was the ringleader.
Are you positive of that? | Yes, sir! Sanderson locked Robin Ladd up at ground zero.
| I'm going after her.
Can you stop these tests? Yes, yes, of course.
| Immediately.
You're a brave man, Mr.
Knight.
Attention, all personnel.
This is General Duncton.
| May I have your attention, please? There is a black, unmarked car | approaching ground zero.
I repeat: | A black, unmarked car.
This vehicle | is a remote-controlled drone.
It is part of today's tests.
The gun crew that blows it off the map | will get a three-day pass.
KITT, they're still | shooting at us! Thank you, Michael, | but I noticed that myself.
I don't think we should've called | our buddy, General Duncton.
Can you take a direct hit, KITT? I don't think we want | to find that out.
Hey, make up your mind! I gotta get | back to the P.
X.
For the lunch break.
Hey, Lupo! We gotta go | to Munitions on the double.
They're running out | of armor-piercing shells.
Stupid thermostat! She's in a target vehicle, KITT.
It has to be a tank.
They couldn't | lock her inside anything else.
Michael, I'm scanning a tank | 350 meters over that ridge.
Since it appears to be inhabited, | there is an extremely strong possibility that the occupant | is Lieutenant Ladd.
Let's hit it! Michael, could you use | another word besides "hit"? That drone is tougher | than we thought.
Ready the heat-seeking missiles.
Hey, look armor piercing.
| All ready to go.
Great.
Fire the heat-seeking missiles.
Michael, three heat-seeking rockets | are approaching from the southwest.
- Can we dodge them, KITT? | - Not as long as they're homing in on the heat of my engine.
We gotta find | another source of heat.
Let's head for that underbrush | over there! Fire rocket booster.
One two three.
Where's three? | Where's three? Stupid thermostat! Three.
Let's go, KITT.
Help! Robin, come on.
! | Michael! Michael! Come on.
Come on.
What do you say we pay the | general a little visit, huh? Is this a car or a spaceship? | A little bit of both.
- We're getting closer to the guns.
| - That's the idea! Here's your armor piercing.
| Give us a hand, okay? Cease fire.
! Cease fire.
! Cease fire.
! Cease fire.
! Soldier, move out! | That's an order.
I think you've just lost | your pension.
Oh, yes, a typical | Michael Knight situation total confusion, | mass destruction all in a good cause, | of course.
But without the slightest | regard Mr.
Miles, please.
I'm the one who got Michael into | this in the first place.
Yes, I know.
Another part | of his typical pattern.
Ayoung lady | who innocently causes I want to thank you all | for joining me.
I see you left | your candy bars outside.
It's certainly been | a confusing morning.
All the top brass on post | are in the stockade, and I find myself | acting commander.
Major Rainey.
Yes, sir.
| Yes, they're right here, sir.
They want to speak to someone | from the Foundation, whoever's responsible | for what happened here.
I guess that's me, since I've just | been told I was operating on my own.
It's the White House.
| I'll take it.
Devon Miles here, sir.
| Thank you, sir.
Uh, no, no.
| We had no inside information.
We were depending on | our crime-busting instincts.
Yes, the Foundation | for Law and Government How can he tell such outrageous | lies? With a sincere expression.
Now that this is an official Foundation | effort, could we talk about expenses? I bought that dinner for Robin.
| I got the motel room.
I'm afraid there's absolutely no | justification for any form of expense.
Justification? | What are you talking about? What happened to intuitive thinking, | individual effort, flexibility?