Konosuba: God's Blessing on This Wonderful World! (2016) s01e03 Episode Script

1
My name is Darkness.
I'm a crusader.
Please allow me to
Please allow me to join your team.
About this
The slimy girls that I saw just now
are your teammates, right?
What had happened?
There was a giant frog attacking us.
What? It's beyond my imagination.
How do I say? This female knight looks
No!
The two girls who are young and ignorant
were attacked.
As a crusader, I can't stand by.
She has scary eyes.
My danger detector has issued an alert.
This girl has the same characteristics
as Aqua and Megumin.
In fact, I don't really
recommend our team.
One of my teammate is a good-for-nothing.
The another one can only
use her magic once a day.
I'm the weakest member.
We are nothing.
You'd better go and look for someone else.
It's painful!
It's good news for me.
In fact, I have a lump in my throat.
Although I'm confident in
my ability and endurance,
I'm quite stupid
I can't attack my target precisely.
My danger detector is very sensitive.
So, just let me rush to the front line,
and use me as a shield.
Her face is too close to mine.
I am still influenced by my
experience even in this place. No.
It's just too exciting for
a man who reaches puberty.
Calm down. Don't be
confused by her appearance.
No. How can I make a girl as a shield?
This is my wish.
You may be preyed on
by monsters every time.
This is my wish.
What?
I understand it now.
It seems that this girl is not only
incapable, but also useless in nature.
(KONOSUBA:
God's Blessing on This Wonderful World!)
(Episode 3: A Panty Treasure
in This Right Hand!)
I am so fatigued
that I have slept until noon.
Thank you.
Kazuma, come and take a look.
What do you think of my new skill?
I am the goddess of water. Don't you
think this skill is just right for me?
Isn't it a banquet skill?
What a useless goddess.
You can learn a new skill
with your accumulated points.
I can't waste it
in learning a strange skill.
I shall choose it carefully.
First, you shall ask the others
about how to use the skills.
Then, optional items
will appear on the card.
You may use points to
redeem for the skill you want to learn.
Then, you'll succeed in
mastering a new skill.
It means if Megumin is my teacher,
I'll learn how to use Explosion Magic?
Exactly.
You are right, Kazuma.
If you want to learn Explosion Magic,
I will try my best to teach you.
Anyway, apart from this skill,
are there any other skills worth learning?
No.
Come on, just learn
Explosion Magic from me.
Her face is too close to mine.
Calm down, Lolita.
I only have 3 points.
Lolita?
How dare you call me Lolita?
Is there any simple skill
for me to learn?
Simple skill that doesn't
require a lot of points.
I got you.
Oh no!
You said that you drank too much
yesterday and left immediately.
Thank you for your concern.
I want to euphemistically reject her,
but it seems that she doesn't
understand what I mean.
In this case, let's talk
about the matter of yesterday.
Please let me join your team.
I reject.
How can you turn down my request so fast?
Why does she seem so happy?
She's a dangerous character.
Darkness, you can't
take such a strong action.
Who are you?
My name is Chris.
As you can see, I'm a thief.
I'm her best friend.
Great. She looks normal.
Do you want to learn
a skill that might come in handy?
Are you interested in the thief skills?
You don't have to spend
a lot of points. It's worthwhile.
If you master it, it will
make your life easier.
How is it?
If you want to learn it, you just have
to buy me a cup of carbonated drink.
It's so cheap.
All right.
Excuse me, please give her
a cup of carbonated drink.
The thief skills include
"to perceive the enemy" and "to lurk".
I especially recommend this skill.
Pay attention to it.
All right, Chris. You may start it now.
Steal.
That's my wallet!
This is the theft skill, "Steal".
If you manage to master this skill,
you're able to steal
other people's belongings.
In short, this is what you can do.
Do you want to compete with me?
I taught you the skill of steal just now.
Do you want to try
taking this wallet back?
It sounds unreasonable.
You're an adventurer, aren't you?
If you are, you shall
take this challenge.
It seems the tuition fee is costly.
Anyhow,
this is the conversation between
adventurers that I look forward to!
After coming to this world,
I finally find that this
is a place for adventurers.
-All right.
-That's a deal.
Use the adventurer card to
try learning this skill first.
You are able to find
the skill I taught you there.
One point for perceiving the enemy.
One point for lurking.
One point for thief skills.
Magic Bouquet.
Magic Bouquet?
This is the banquet skill which
was used by your teammate just now.
A simple banquet skill requires 5 points?
That's so expensive!
This is useless.
From now on, you own thief skills.
Come on.
All right. You won't cry no matter
what I steal from you, right?
Steal this magic knife from
me if you're competent.
This is Alice's treasure and
it costs about 400 thousand,
while these stones
will be the booby prize.
They are dirty!
If so, the probability of stealing
the short knife is greatly reduced.
Darn it. Anyway,
I have learned a lot from it.
This is not Japan but a world
reflects the law of the jungle.
An innocent person
shall learn a lesson from it.
Look at me. Steal!
Great. It works.
What is this?
Anyhow, I did it, right?
I win a lottery!
Gosh! Give me back my underwear!
He's such a pervert.
My judgment is so reliable.
Kazuma, where are you going?
Why don't you enjoy
my gorgeous performance?
What happened to her?
Actually
Actually, when this girl was
teaching Kazuma skill of thief,
he took off her underwear,
and also took all her money.
That's why she's sad now.
What are you talking about?
He even said that I can't
just return the wallet to him.
I shall pay as much as you want.
Please return my underwear to me.
He said that I shall determine
the value of my own underwear.
Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Although you didn't say
anything wrong, you can just hold on.
Otherwise, this underwear
will become his family's heirloom,
and it will be handed down
from generation to generation.
Stop it. I can feel the female
adventurers' cold eyes staring at me.
Shut up, please!
Kazuma, did you
master the skill of thief?
Let me show you.
Steal!
What is this?
What happened to you?
Is it because you've leveled up,
you become a pervert from an adventurer?
It's cold underneath my skirt.
Can you return me my underwear?
Kazuma, how could you
Oh, it's weird.
Stealing shall be performed randomly.
How dare you grab a young
girl's underwear in public?
I definitely can't let
a pervert like you go.
Please let me join your team.
No.
This woman is definitely
a useless person.
I can't allow any weirdo
to join my team anymore.
Kazuma, is she the person
who came to interview yesterday
when Megumin and I went to take a shower?
What? Is she really a crusader?
We've no reason to reject her.
-They two shouldn't meet with her.
-Look, she's a crusader.
All right. That's the
only thing I can do now.
Darkness, there's
one thing I must tell you.
Actually,
don't judge Aqua and me
just by our appearances,
we really wish to beat the Devil King up.
That's right.
Is that true?
Of course. We're great, aren't we?
In the future, our adventures
will become tougher,
especially for you
who's a female crusader.
If you're caught by the Devil King,
you'll be in trouble.
You'll suffer from inhuman treatment.
Yeah, that's right.
A crusader's job includes being caught
by the Devil King since ancient times.
To accomplish this,
I must join your team.
What?
What's wrong?
Did I say something strange?
In short, this is not important.
Megumin, listen!
Our opponent is the Devil King.
We are going to challenge the
most powerful creature in this world.
Don't force yourself to stay with us.
My name is Megumin.
I'm the best wizard of the Red Devils.
I'm able to manipulate Explosion Magic.
How could the Devil King
call himself the most powerful devil?
I'll use the most powerful
magic to kill this cocky guy.
She is hopeless.
What shall I do? There are two
energetic problematic children here.
Kazuma,
you scared the hell out of me.
Is there a more relaxed way?
You should get up steam.
You play the most
important role in this matter.
Urgent mission.
What happened?
To all the adventurers, please
gather at the main entrance.
To all the adventurers,
please gather at the main entrance.
-It's coming.
-What? I didn't hear about it.
-Don't let the kids out.
-Oh, no.
Are all of you ready?
Keep your chin up!
What happened? What is coming?
I will protect you all.
Kazuma, stay with me.
What is the urgent mission?
Are monsters attacking the city?
Didn't I tell you about them?
They are cabbages.
What?
They seem to be very lively this year.
The storm is coming.
Harvest!
Get me some mayonnaise.
What are these?
Cabbages.
ALL THE CABBAGES WILL BE HARVESTED
Attack!
The cabbages will fly
by themselves in this world.
They have mellow flavors.
They will bustle around
during harvest season.
You cannot have a chance
to eat them easily.
Before they can run
on the road and field,
they have to cross lands and oceans,
and finally reach an unknown world,
so that they won't be
eaten and hibernate.
In this case,
it's better for us to catch and turn them
into delicious food and eat them.
The season of harvesting
cabbage is coming again.
The cabbages grow
exceptionally good this year.
Each cabbage can be
exchanged for 10 thousand Eris.
Please catch more cabbages for exchange.
Good.
Can I go back to sleep first?
Kazuma.
It's a rare opportunity.
Let me show you
my strength as a crusader.
You can't hit your target at all.
It's dangerous.
Leave it to me. Run.
Darkness!
Use the armor.
It's too late. Run quickly!
Don't talk foolishly.
Darkness, you
I can't see someone in mortal danger
without lifting a finger to save him.
I can't do it.
She's a model of the crusader.
Run away, Darkness.
All eyes are on me.
All the men are
staring at my skin excitedly.
It's too shameful.
It's so disgusting.
-I can't escape right now.
-She's attractive.
In order to protect the others,
she's sacrificing herself.
As a knight, I should learn from her.
No. Everyone is misunderstanding her.
In front of my Explosion Magic,
no one can fulfill
the long-cherished wish.
There is also a troublesome guy here.
In front of so many enemies,
how can I stop myself
from showing Explosion Magic?
-No, absolutely not.
-You can do it.
Darkness was shrouded in radiance.
It entangled in the night sky.
In the name of Red Devil,
please show your prime crushing power.
Every root of power
that's hiding on this land,
please gather in front of me.
Explosion!
PLENTIFUL HARVEST OF CABBAGES
We don't have to worry about the
stock of vegetables for a while.
I'm not willing to give in.
Why can fried cabbage be so delicious?
I am not here to fight with the cabbages.
You're definitely a brave crusader.
Even the bunch of cabbages
felt helpless when facing your
protection just like an iron wall.
In fact, I'm just a tough woman.
I'm willing to become an iron shield
just to protect the others.
Aqua's Magic Bouquet
is also very powerful.
It not only be used
to boost the adventurers' morale,
but also keeps the harvested cabbages
fresh with cold water.
Magic Bouquet!
Magic Bouquet!
Don't mention it. As a priest,
it's my responsibility.
Is this important?
The magic water of the priest is pure.
Megumin's magic is also very powerful.
You blew away the entire swarm
of cabbages in a single blow.
Have you seen the power
of Red Devil's blood?
I've never taken a direct hit
by such firepower before.
Don't let her hit you directly.
Kazuma, you did a good job too.
Indeed. You erased your
presence with the skill of lurk,
and attacked the enemy
from behind with the skill of steal.
You looked just like a skilled assassin.
Kazuma, by my name,
I hereby confer upon you the
title of "The Great Cabbage Thief".
Shut up.
Darn it. How did things end up like this?
Most importantly,
you now understand
my abilities as a crusader.
So, once more,
my name is Darkness.
I can use swords with either hand,
but you don't expect me
to be a powerhouse in a battle.
I'm far too clumsy and my attack
hardly ever hits the targets.
However, I'm very good
at becoming a shield.
Our team is turning out to have
a pretty impressive roster, right?
There are me, an arch priest,
Megumin, an arch wizard,
and Darkness, a crusader.
There aren't many teams where three
out of four have upper-class jobs.
I wouldn't have any reason to
refuse her if she's a normal ally.
She's gorgeous after all,
but
Kazuma,
please don't hesitate to use me
as a bait or shield in the future.
She is totally a masochist.
Although it seems like a perfect
formation, it's not the case at all.
I foresee nothing but
hardships in our future.
If I do anything to hold back the team,
please reprimand me sternly.
You may even abandon me
as a sacrificial pawn if you wish.
Just imagining it makes
me tremble with excitement.
I'm looking forward to working with you.
(Episode 4: Explosion Magic
for This Formidable Enemy!)