Long Way Round (2004) s01e03 Episode Script

Got sun on my face
Sleeping rough on the road
I'll tell you all about it
When I get home
Comin' round to meet you
The long way round
We're gonna ride 20,000 miles in 115 days through 12 countries.
Europe, Kazakhstan, and Mongolia.
And then ride the Road of Bones in far eastern Russia.
And we're gonna fly to Alaska and go through Canada, America,
and New York.
We're gonna give these guys video cameras.
They'll have cameras on their motorcycles.
They will have cameras on their helmets.
And mics in their helmets.
I feel like a fighter pilot.
Dropping bombs now.
To having a third motorcycle travel with them.
And on that third motorcycle will be a cameraman.
In addition, there will be two support vehicles.
We will travel around the world as well,
linking up with the guys at borders.
But really, the motorcycles will be on their own.
It's getting worse.
It's gonna be hot. It's gonna be wild. There's gonna be music.
Call 'em in! Here we come!
I'm so glad we're doing it now.
Side by side, every step of the way
Just arriving at the Channel Tunnel.
And then, you know, go to Siberia.
Wait, are we going to Brussels, Ewan?
Yes, Charley.
I don't know where we are.
It's very homoerotic in here. It's a very small room. Two grown men.
We've only just arrived.
Day one of the world trip
and we're in trouble with the police already.
Police van pulled up and goes, "Hey, you! Come here. Hey, you."
"I like your films. Trainspotting is good, huh."
The police like Trainspotting.
Which side of the road are we on?
Right. Right-hand side. Right-hand side.
So, I was just looking at that guy's bum,
thinking it was nice until I realized it was a guy.
And I said, "Ev, I want you to look after my wedding ring while I'm away."
And she starts to cry and I said,
"Ev, Ev. I can't wear my ring or I won't get laid on the trip."
I'm worried about these guys.
You know, you can't help but be worried about anybody on a motorcycle.
You know, who knows what's in front.
You know, they can come off. They could die.
Yeah, there is a downside to this event, that's for sure.
You can see we are chasing our shadows now.
The sun's setting directly behind us which means we're heading east, baby.
I can't believe we've just ridden our motorbikes to Czech Republic, man.
We're in it, we believe it.
But it remains to be seen whether or not we're gonna be able to make it.
We're gonna stop into Prague and it's not gonna be the wild wilderness.
That'll come later, but it's gonna be touristy
and we should indulge ourselves in that.
-Are we finished? -Yeah.
My stomach is not that big.
-Oh, that's really quite good. -Unbelievable.
Dundee, just up the road?
-Yeah, I know. -Let's just take a photo
-with all of you in there. -Would you really?
Yeah. My friend will take a picture of all of us.
Thank you very much.
-Thank you! -All right, guys. Take care, goodbye.
-Ewan, do you wanna whack it on? -Yeah, I'd love to.
-Okay? -Yeah.
Yeah, very comfy.
Do you think they would've asked when they put them on originally?
"Are you comfortable?"
"Oh, yes. Thank you."
Yeah. "Have you got a large in this?"
-"Does this come in pink?" -Right, see you, mate.
Right, let's go, guys.
The room behind the clock in Prague, which is called the
-What's it called? -Astronomical Clock.
The Astronomical Clock.
No, it's great.
It's great to see it from the inside. This is a very famous clock.
What was it called?
We're waiting for Claudio to ring on this phone
to see if he's passed his bike test or not.
The pressure he's under is enormous. It's too much pressure.
I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't pass it.
Hello.
Hey, Claudio. How are you?
Right.
-He did it. -Hey!
Fantastic!
We've decided to be incredibly strict on ourselves.
We are gonna do a video diary every day.
You're gonna do a
-No. No. -video diary?
You're not gonna-- Why you're not gonna do it today?
I do-- I just don't-- You know, I don't feel it.
"Well, you must do what you think is right, of course."
It doesn't work without my cloak.
I need my cloak.
Quite a nice day. Really nice day.
But, halfway through the afternoon, I started picking up
and I started really feeling like
I was looking forward to pushing on tomorrow.
I mean, I think I'm-- I got quite excited by the idea
of packing my bike tomorrow and getting on it.
Riding on somewhere else. I think I--
Every day, you've got that to look forward to, you know.
First day's riding with Claudio.
It's my first day on this.
You're looking very good, Claudio.
I must say, you've-- You know, I'm impressed.
It's just slowly sinking in, you know. Bit by bit, what we're doing.
Charley said at lunchtime, you know, he keeps thinking that
the trip must be ending soon
because we've been on the road for a few days
and most bike trips last a few days.
And then suddenly remember, you know,
that we're just heading east for a long time.
We've been told about this weird church on the way to Slovakia.
So we're on our way to have a look at it and see what it's all about.
They brought earth back here from Jerusalem, scattered earth,
and then built a church on top of this area.
People wanted desperately to be buried here
'cause of the holy earth,
and then the cemetery got absolutely jam-packed full of people.
So then they ended up just
-Piling it all outside. -piling the bodies up outside.
-Jesus. -Till they ended up with
this huge amount of bones and then decided to do this with it.
I don't really get it. I mean, it's quite bizarre, isn't it?
Look at this.
This stuff on the ceiling looks like Christmas decorations
that you hang up at Christmastime. Look.
Look at the state of it.
We've done 1,109 miles since we've left home.
Great Britain, France, Belgium, Germany, Czech Republic,
and in a minute, Slovakia.
Here we are. This is the border.
Hey!
We're only planning to meet the support vehicles at border crossings.
I'm still alive. I'm still alive.
Because we're taking such a lot of expensive camera equipment
with us on this trip,
we have an official document called a carnet.
And it's essential that we get it stamped in and out
of each of the countries when we cross the borders.
Well, no one told us that
-we needed to do it. -No one told us what to do with it.
-It's a carnet. We just handed it. -I know we were supposed to do it.
We didn't get our carnet stamped
-Yeah. -coming into Czech Republic.
Now, I say "we," but Charley didn't get it stamped
'cause he had it. So it's his fault, right?
Let me put that on the record.
The point is, neither of us knew what the fuck we're meant to do
-with the carnet. -were told, basically.
We didn't know what carnet did or what it's for, really.
-your way. -What's that, Charley?
This is the carnet. Basically, what a carnet does--
You go to a country and you say that--
that everything on board you have you are not gonna sell,
is basically what you're doing.
That's check-in. That's where you needed the stamp when you
-went to-- in. -Just take all those out
-and we'll just-- -Well, no. You can't, mate.
It's a bound thing, you know what I mean?
You have to-- No, no, believe me, man. If you--
-No, look. -No, I know that. I know.
But you can't do that to these things.
I'm just telling you, Charley. They had to-- They had to pay
-70,000 pounds for cameras. -I know that.
What?
Then you look after it, mate.
-You hold it. It's yours. -Russ, what's the matter?
-No, what I'm saying is-- -What's the matter?
-Calm down, Russ. -All right.
I mean, I've just arrived here and I'm just saying, you know,
we haven't stamped in or out of Czechoslovakia.
Okay? Let's just keep this calm.
The tension between Russ and I was not very nice.
I keep falling out with Charley Boorman.
Which is not my fault.
And I'm sure it's 50% his fault, 50% my fault.
And I'm just gonna have to work on that.
Once I've beaten his head to a pulp,
I think we'll probably all be friends again.
-I would come in. -Come on. Come all together.
The truth is, all we're doing is going through borders.
We're gonna go through the Ukrainian border,
we're gonna go through the Russian border three times.
We're gonna go through the Kazak border,
we're gonna go through the Mongolian border,
we're gonna go through borders that nobody has ever been through before
without local passports.
So you know, we're still waiting here. But, hopefully, we're out soon.
They had to pay off, like, the police on the other side.
He said, "Where's the other carnet?" And she went
and gave him some cash.
That's not to say
No, we shouldn't say anything. Let's not say anything.
Don't speak.
This is what we were waiting for, just so you know.
This is what we've been waiting two hours for.
Slovakia awaits.
Okay, Slovakia, how beautiful. Look at this place.
It's like Scotland.
Oh, my God! What a view!
That's amazing, look at that.
So, we've just come through the most bizarre place
where it just went from the 2000s to the 1950s suddenly.
You-- Olly, come in. Olly-- Oh, there you are, Olly.
I'm just homing in on my wife here. Olly, where are you?
I just-- I feel so natural, you know.
We're on our way to Bojnik? Bojnice.
It's very difficult to pronounce. I don't know. Bojnice.
We've heard about this incredible, kind of fairy-tale castle.
Better not get the address. This is my home address.
People writing in.
Look at this.
Beautiful castle.
Some Conan the Barbarian guy with a huge eagle
and a couple of orangutans.
Must have been quite lazy 'cause--
So he'd had these small steps made.
-He was very tired, I bet. -Yeah.
So he didn't spill his wine.
You see this-- This is all thistles and deer and
It's the Scots influence here in Slovakia.
Scots
Inventors of the modern world.
You're welcome.
What would the Romans have done without the Scots?
Is this the well?
-Oh, my God! -Jesus.
Look, there's Gollum.
I dropped it.
It's very good luck, that.
I think we're getting thrown out of here. Is all this closed?
He's-- Look, they're chasing us with bits of wood.
The whole place is closed.
We just got thrown out. We just wandered up there.
We just wandered in. We had no idea.
Oh, my God. How--
How did you have that on you?
Open it.
A handsome devil.
This is one of the highlights
that I've been waiting for for this whole trip
was to get this far to Ukraine.
We've driven our bikes to Ukraine.
And here we are. This is--
You know, this is where it starts to get harder.
Mafia.
-Mafia? -Mafia.
Okay.
Thank you.
Basically, he said, you know,
they'd rather shoot you and they'll steal everything.
-That's nice. -He said it's really, really dangerous.
What would the mafia want from
Our bikes? Do they want the bikes?
But then, I'm completely naive to it. I don't know. Maybe I'm all wrong.
I'm just standing naked in a car park right now.
Slightly embarrassing.
We just have to play it by ear, you know what I mean?
We're not gonna start worrying-- Well, I am now starting to worry about it.
Now that you brought it up, now I'm really worried.
Everyone, remain calm.
Those mafia guys, they can smell fear.
I'm smoking. Not allowed to do that.
I don't smoke.
Children shouldn't smoke. It's bad for you.
We're just going through the border crossing now.
Looks like a bit of a wait at the other end.
We're trying to get into the Ukraine.
Here's the deal, we've
We're traveling with photocopies of the vehicle registration papers.
I just don't wanna be caught doing this. We've been told we're not allowed to film.
Because they're
Photocopies and not the originals.
They can only really let us through with the original documents.
Which means that potentially we would have to turn around here.
As it stands at the moment
They're not obliged to let us into their country.
Our English carnet people are saying we should head back into Slovakia.
Go back and get the proper documents flown
into Kosice and then try it again, you know, in the next couple of days.
It's been now, what? Four hours? Five hours?
It's now getting very late. It's 8:50 p.m.
It doesn't seem to be happening.
We're not really getting anywhere at the moment.
Every single thing,
every step of the way, we kind of got a,
"Sorry, hang on.
There's this problem. There's this problem."
I officially am now in need of something to eat.
I am officially now in need of a proper meal.
I've had enough cereal bars.
I have had two cups of the strongest coffee known to mankind
up in the truck stop though.
But ultimately, I've been here for a very, very long time.
They do one page and you go downstairs and pay.
Come back up, get the next page, go downstairs. Come back up,
get the next page, go downstairs. Come back up.
This-- I cannot tell you. I can barely speak
because I don't wanna breathe.
I have to breathe through my mouth.
That is by far the worst smelling toilet I've ever smelt.
Think we might be getting away. I have that sudden up feeling.
By the way, you have great eyes.
-Do I? -It looks--
I think we're kind of ready to go.
I think we've got 20 minutes, half an hour before we leave.
-They told that four hours ago. -Exactly.
We were there for 12 hours, 12 and a half hours. Almost 13 hours.
Sergey, you have good news. Are we leaving or not?
Yeah, we are leaving, maximum ten minutes.
-Maximum 10 minutes. -On the basis of what?
-How is it possible? -On the basis of the--
They just knew that actors going.
And they just knew that the council already told them.
-All right. -And they knew that
the minister of foreign affairs called them.
-So they are shocked and stunned. -I see.
Meanwhile, there was this, sort of, dodgy, shifty-looking character
who was really friendly with the border guards.
And this guy came up and told us,
"I've got a hotel just nine kilometers down. It's fantastic."
We were following him through the pitch black of night
at two o'clock in the morning.
And we're all getting very nervous thinking,
"My God, is he gonna take us to someplace
and slaughter us all and take all our things?"
It's a bit dodgy or is it just me?
Fucking hell. Jesus.
Ah. It's okay?
Thank you.
Whoa.
I don't really understand. It's just--
-It's like almost-- -Five to ten minutes ago--
It scares me to death 'cause I was literally asleep
in my bivy bag next to my bike,
on the side of the verge and with lorries going by
and voices, and fumes.
It was quite warm though and
And then after some kind of weird video game ride here in the dark,
we're in here.
-Show me around the place. -But it doesn't bloody feel right.
Why does it feel
Why am I so suspicious, do you know?
-Mafia. -Mafia.
Mafia.
Am I right-- Am I right to be suspicious?
His and hers towels.
And he gave me a cuddle as well.
I put my bags down and he-- I put my bags down
and I went like that and he just went like that.
You know, maybe he just wants to He just wants to show off.
I don't know. Maybe he's just laundering a lot of money.
Morning, Claudio.
Hello.
Last night this felt like Goodfellas.
This hotel felt like The Godfather Part IV, you know.
And today it's just a hotel that some guy's doing up and
who was really kind enough to let us-- to bring us back.
I suppose in the dead of night when you're tired anything's possible.
Driving into the Ukraine has
It's just kind of taken my breath away.
I feel really, really far away from home now.
Suddenly much further than I did yesterday, you know.
There's people working in the fields with hoes and rakes and there are
people using horses for-- with plows and it's like we've
It's like we've stepped back in time.
In London, England.
Angleterre.
English?
-Goodbye. -Goodbye.
Merci. Au revoir.
Danke.
Grazie.
Who forgot about them?
Who forgot that once we were in the country,
we may have to be stopped at a checkpoint and show papers again? Who forgot?
All ya all forgot. Everybody.
Every single body forgot.
I just went over and sat on a well while we were waiting.
I don't really understand.
I had no idea what she was saying
and I could have listened to her for hours.
When it rains?
And I spoke to her for a little while
and she didn't know what I was saying.
But it didn't really seem to matter, it really didn't.
Oh, you'll pray for me? Thank you.
-Thank you. We go far, far, far -Thank you.
on our motorbikes. We go a long way. We could use your prayers, I think.
They could have stopped us again for not having the right papers there
but we're lucky we got through. We're back on the move.
We set up this UNICEF meeting tomorrow, being Friday,
so that we can meet children that have suffered
from the Chernobyl disaster.
We have to be there at three o'clock because it's Friday.
The kids won't be there over the weekend so it's our only chance.
Ewan and I wanted to work with a charity on this trip.
And UNICEF seemed the perfect choice for us.
We can really highlight some of the great work that they do.
And the way we can do that is by visiting projects on the way around.
We've made it to Lviv. It's taken seven hours, basically.
Have you ever known anything like it?
Right in the hotel. "Have you got secure parking?"
"Yes, just put them in the foyer."
Okay, focus, focus, focus. Get the video diary done, you arse.
The rozzers arrived and pulled in.
And we thought, "God, here we go."
And he just basically told us the football scores,
had a look at the bikes and buggered off.
I was thinking, "How do-- How do I give him the bribe?
Fuck, I said I'd do the talking. Oh, my God.
Oh, Chelsea lost the cup? Oh, okay!"
I can't believe that we're getting pulled over again.
-I was doing almost 90. -Yeah, we were like 80.
Eighty-eight miles an hour.
It's 2:30 p.m. We were meant to be in Kiev at 3:00 p.m.
We're still quite a long way away.
I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired.
We finally made it to Kiev. We're two hours late.
It was 26th of April, 1986.
It was-- By the way, it was very nice weather.
Very good, April, it was like in summer.
During the first days, we knew practically nothing.
All mass media, everything told us
"Don't worry, everything is under control."
Then we learnt that it was a real tragedy.
It was not only explosion
but after this explosion a lot of people were influenced.
Several generations were affected.
Children here have a range of problems.
For instance, various forms of cancer like leukemia.
-Thyroid cancer. -Yeah.
The radiation has an effect on the brain. Have emotional, psychological problems.
It's now 18 years,
but this legacy lives on.
In always the first five minutes
Meeting somebody who's ill or critically ill, or
And especially with children, it can be quite difficult.
It's quite difficult to know what to say.
'Cause what do you say to somebody?
I want to ask a question.
Ask away.
Do you do-- Do you do knitting?
Yes, they do knitting as well.
When I was nine or 10 years old,
my favorite uncle was coming to stay
so weeks and weeks in advance
of him arriving,
I knitted a scarf for my uncle.
It was maybe this long and this wide.
And when I-- when I gave it to him,
he laughed.
And I never knitted again.
It's quite an easy choice to make who's who
because the complexions are quite similar.
So you're suggesting I have a slightly red face.
Is what you're suggesting?
I had never really done very much charity work before.
To be thrown in at the deep end, particularly at Chernobyl
with the children, was incredibly emotional for me.
You see these children who are so happy and who
'Cause they're so young they don't know that
they're gonna have terrible problems for the rest of their life.
Peekaboo! Peekaboo!
She was about the same age as my wee girl, Esther.
And she was such a sweetheart.
Bye-bye.
The little one's just broke my heart. I want to go home now.
-You're missing your little one? -Yeah.
It's one of the great honors that comes along
with doing the job I do is that you can be involved
in raising awareness for charities or helping them out,
helping them raise money.
And
I don't care what anybody says. It's
There's no-- There's no harm in that.
I was just looking out my window and I suddenly saw
people dancing and hurling themselves around. I didn't--
I didn't know anything about it. So, we got down there and had a look
and it was amazing. It was Kiev. It was fantastic.
Look, there's a wedding. Must be Saturday.
Congratulations. Felicitations.
Pilot suit.
Do you think we should buy it and send it to your brother just for a spare?
Do I know you? No?
-I know you. -Yes, maybe you know me.
-Welcome to Kiev. -Thank you.
-Beautiful, beautiful city. -Are you on the bikes?
Yes. How do you know that?
Am I look stupid or what?
-How did you know about the bikes? -Well, I saw.
I saw the like-- In TV, you know.
-Oh, really? -Two BMWs, right?
-Yeah. -Doing good?
-Yeah. -We were on the TV?
Yeah, we-- The bikes are at the hotel.
So today we're having a walk around the town.
We keep meeting people that know about the trip
and are asking where the bikes are and stuff, you know.
It's quite spooky. It's weird.
And, yeah, "Have you started yet?"
And, "Good luck and be careful of Russia."
But everyone told us to be careful in Ukraine
and it's all kind of cool so
Yeah, everyone's suspicious of the neighbors.
At last, we're gonna have chicken Kiev.
It was on our list of things to do.
Chicken Kiev in Kiev, hey.
All right.
It was all going fine until we pulled over to get petrol.
It's still stinging?
Well, we were just filling up with petrol
and you have to prepay.
And as mine was filling
Obviously this pump must be set on a fixed amount of liters.
Petrol was just pouring all down here.
And so I put my finger on it
to try and just stop it all pouring out everywhere.
It just went straight into Ewan's eyes.
Charley's gonna call me as soon as they get out of the doctor's office.
I hope he's all right. This could be the end of the trip.
And if not the end of the trip, you know, serious delay. I don't know what
what this doctor's gonna suggest. Maybe he shouldn't be riding.
If I hadn't poured that water in my eyes straightaway,
petrol would start eating away at the tissues immediately.
So
And then that would affect your sight.
That could burn the cornea. I wouldn't have been able to see.
And either it would've been, like, serious
that you wouldn't have been able to see properly ever
or I certainly wouldn't have been able to ride my bike
for a week or two, wouldn't I?
Jesus.
Sorry, I feel slightly guilty.
It was an accident, Charley. Don't worry.
Feel very guilty about it if you did it on purpose
but I don't think it's the kind of thing you would do on purpose.
If I did it on purpose I would've had-- I would've had a match.
Done in the movies.
Just doesn't look like we've gone very far.
-We haven't really. -It feels like we've gone very far but
We were talking about, like yesterday, by the roadside,
we were sitting there and we were saying, "How much have we done now?"
And we said, what, 2,300 miles or something.
I mean, but look at the different landscapes
and cultures and peoples that we've seen already.
-Yeah. -In like, you know, I suppose we're like
two and a half lengths of Great Britain away from Great Britain.
And the road conditions are totally different as well.
-The road conditions are awful. -The last couple of countries--
No, we are really hard-core.
We are really hard-core.
The very nature of having just ridden
east for ten days.
It's bizarre, you know.
A bike ride usually consists of leaving in the morning,
coming back at lunch or--
It certainly usually involves just coming back
to the same place that you left from.
And we've just got this huge ribbon of tarmac ahead of us.
It just keeps coming. It just keeps coming at you.
And you just keep heading east.
Knowing that every place you pass, you're not coming back through.
And every mile takes you further away from home.
Every mile takes you further away from your family
and there's a loneliness with not being with the person
you share your life with, you know. Not being with your wife.
I've been dealing with the fact that, you know,
I'm going away for a very long time.
We drove down into Krasnyy Luch
and we went into the town. We rode around looking for a hotel.
There's a hotel just down there. I'm not 100% sure.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Right.
You want me to give you something?
Actor? Actor?
-Yes, yes. -Actor?
Erotic film? Erotic film, yeah?
Erotic films? No.
Erotic films.
Hotel?
Yes.
-Yes. -Hey!
No.
Fuck. He's saying you get fleas.
Listen, so this is what's happening.
We're following the Lada in front.
He asked where we were staying and I said hotel
and he said, "No. No hotels. You come and stay with me."
Think we go in here
And this is the house.
So, we follow this guy to this big, big house.
All the other houses in this town we passed
were just small houses.
This guy had a big, grand mansion.
Please. Please.
Nice to meet you. Charley.
-Hello. Hi. -Gallia.
-Gallia. Hello. -Gallia.
-Galla. -Nice to-- Galla?
-Galla. -Okay.
So what are you doing, Ewan?
Well, it's a bit embarrassing 'cause we have to take our boots off.
Our host. Your name is?
-Igor. -Igor.
-Igor. -Igor.
-What a beautiful house. -There's the ladies.
-I show you your rooms. -Yes.
-It's your room. -Upstairs? Thank you.
Oh, fantastic. It really is fantastic.
It's just such a beautiful house.
Imelda Marcos, eat your heart out.
Antratsyt is coal.
-Our town-- -Your town's a mining town?
-Name, our town is coal. -Right.
-Oh, I see. -Anthracite.
-Okay. -Anthracite. Anthracite.
Look.
Gosh.
And this is you?
-Yes, it is. -Wow.
-Beautiful arms. -Good arms. Look at that.
That's a really funny photo.
It was you in the Cold War.
-Yes. -Soviet
More strong.
Our host was a miner.
He was in the navy and he was a fisherman.
And now he sells electronic goods and stuff here in this small town.
He phoned for a friend of his to come and translate.
-How many children you've got? -I have two.
More men arrived and then more men arrived.
And suddenly there was a bit of a party going on.
Cheers and let's start this dinner.
I'm glad to meet you.
We're very glad to meet you.
We're total strangers in these people's house.
Total strangers and look.
Welcome.
Welcome!
Everybody. Everybody, welcome.
Please. Please.
There's quite an element of not knowing what the fuck is going on.
I don't know why there's guns everywhere. I'm not kidding.
Why would somebody have a gun? He's a coal man, he shouldn't.
Apparently. Apparently.
One, two.
I don't know why I'm holding it in my hand.
I've been left with a Kalashnikov.
He's taking a lot of phone calls as well, isn't he?
He's always on the telephone.
And then he disappeared for a while.
But he just disappeared at dinner, didn't he?
He runs a electrical shop.
He sells televisions and microwaves and stuff.
He's built a huge house. He's building a swimming pool.
Usually people bring a coffee. He brought a fucking machine gun.
Now I'm in trouble.
I'm too nervous, because I'm just too nervous with it.
Sorry.
I wish I had his balls. He just came down
Mind you, he was carrying a machine gun as well, wasn't he?
Slightly easier.
So she woke up
Woke up from where she was
Lying still, singing
I gotta do something
About where we're going
Step on a steam train
Step out of the driving rain, maybe
Run from the darkness in the night
Thank you. Thank you for all your hospitality.
Farewell, goodbye
Auf Wiedersehen
I'm not gonna be sleeping very well.
I hope they don't come with a knife at night and slaughter us all up here.
I notice there were some drain holes just underneath that cupboard there,
so they're obviously used to washing this floor down.
They're all involved in this coal mine
one way or another.
And they want to take us down the coal mine.
I'm not sure that that's a terribly good idea.
But there's not very much we can do about it now.
Why do you think they want to take us down a mine?
-Sorry. -No, it's all right.
This way they don't get blood all over our clothes, you know what I mean?
When they cap us downstairs.
The miners do this day in, day out for their whole lifetimes.
And then they see a bunch of tourists that go,
"Oh, yeah! Let's go down a mine! Yeah!"
See what real working people do for a living.
Does this hat bring out my eyes?
Hello.
I did a film called Brassed Off where I played a miner.
And there's-- And we went down the pit for that and
when you get in the cage and the doors shut
and you just start to drop, it's the most peculiar feeling.
Imagine my agent at this moment if she could see me now.
You can see right down the mine shaft.
It takes six minutes to go-- to go one kilometer.
Quite deep.
Heave!
So archaic.
The beams are just wooden beams on top of metal hoops.
And they're pushing the trucks around by hand.
Piece of coal from way down there.
Seems to be a little cruel to be faced with that
every time you come out the coal mine.
Just look at it and think or dream I can be there.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm amazed. I feel quite sort of
by the whole thing. It's quite overwhelming.
Can't begin to gather my thoughts about the last 24 hours.
Just can't. I just can't do it.
I can't get my thoughts together about the whole thing.
I wanna sit on my motorbike for an hour and a half and think.
Just let it slowly seep in.
I think there'll be a little part of me
that starts to just feel very relieved when we're on the road.
You want a go?
Okay.
Thank you so much.
Thank you. Thank you.
Took us 13 hours to get into Ukraine.
And five minutes to get out. So, I guess Igor phoned ahead.
Got it. Thank you.
So, Ewan, what's happening here?
We're just signing some autographs. I'm actually signing this guy's passport.
I'm giving them the McGregor stamp.
That's what you get away with when you get the cameras out, isn't it?
How they don't let you film then five minutes later
you can film everything.
We're in Russia, for God's sake. We're in Russia!
I feel like we're transitioning into phase two which is
the middle section. Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Siberia.
There's a long, long way to go.
We've got a day off in Volgograd before we push on into Kazakhstan.
And we're gonna take a boat trip on the river Volga.
I think that's-- Yeah, that's-- I think that's east.
Look at that rainbow.
-That's like two. One, two. -Oh, yeah.
I don't fancy riding in that, do you, tomorrow.
We have 100 days left in this trip. We haven't even--
We haven't even completed two weeks.
You know, we're still staying in wonderful cities that are modernized.
We're about-- We're about to test everybody's mettle.
This is what we've been talking-- Kazakhstan, Mongolia and Siberia.
It's what we've been talking about for years and months and
-Yeah. -It's now here.
Yeah, it's just around the corner.