Lost Boys & Fairies (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

I knew you could do it.
Cheese!
- Cheese!
- Cheese!
Jake's coming to live with us.
You must be pleased then?
- Hello, Jake.
- Hello, Daddy.
Last night of freedom.
Let's go out tonight.
Before the show, a date.
Like the old days.
Let's go. Come on.
How did he die again?
It was an accident.
The police aren't quite sure,
but what we do know
is that he fell over
and hit his head.
I fall over and hit my head
all the time and I don't die.
It's incredibly unusual.
It's stupid.
I know this must
be very hard for you, Jake.
What time is Daddy
picking me up then?
Sweetheart,
he won't be coming today.
Daddy's gonna be feeling really sad
about what's happened, isn't he?
So Llinos and I think
that we should wait a bit
before deciding what happens next.
Especially because we think
this will make you very sad as well.
And, of course, we're
all hoping you'll be able
to move in with him as planned.
But we can't promise that
right now.
Jake?
But whatever happens,
I want you to know
you are safe here with me.
Does this make sense, Jake?
They still have my toys.
I want them back.
They're mine.
He doesn't believe us, does he?
Well, the last thing we want
is for Jake to think
they don't want him anymore.
Do you think Gabriel might
consider some contact?
Video, perhaps?
I'm sure he would,
but I haven't been able
to speak to him directly yet.
Understandably.
Do we know
how he's feeling about Jake?
I think Jake's the last thing
on his mind right now.
Which is a bit of a concern.
- His partners just died.
- I know that.
And he barely knows Jake.
Yeah, but still I'm not convinced we
should be allowing any contact
until we're absolutely certain
the adoption's moving forward.
This will be hugely traumatic
for Gabriel.
Hang on now.
Gabriel's ability to parent
is not in question here.
Now, he was approved.
As part of a stable loving couple,
which is no longer the case now, is it?
But Jake needs to hear something
We don't know for certain
he's actually gonna be his daddy
now though, do we?
Okay. It's all right.
It's great to hear you
talking so passionately
about Gabe and Jake,
but we do need
to take the heat outta this
in order to move things forward.
So I'm gonna suggest
that we reconvene
in a couple of weeks
after the funeral.
Gabe?
Let me do that for you.
Do you want me to move that?
No.
Sorry I've not been much
help with the organising.
You sure you're all right
with the chapel service?
He's your son, Sandra.
He's your partner.
Never got married.
Should have got married.
And anyway, it's a good thing
you took control
'cause I would've probably
turned it into a musical.
Do you think I should
go and see the coroner?
You know, after this is done?
Just to see what's happening there.
Because the police
have been so useless.
I mean, it can't have been
an accident, can it?
- Sit down, would you, Gabe?
- I'm fine.
I know, but I'm not.
And you're getting on my tits.
Sorry.
Don't be.
I'm getting on my tits as well
and I don't have any.
- Is your dad coming here?
- I told him to go straight there.
I didn't want him to feel,
well, uncomfortable, you know?
Will Jake be there?
No, I don't think so.
He's still coming though, isn't he?
I can't think about that
right now, Sandra.
Of course.
Oh my boy.
Your carriage awaits, my ladies.
They wanted to walk with you.
That's my dad!
Berwyn.
You mind stopping a moment, drive?
Come in the car.
- It'd only be fitting.
I am so very sorry, Sandra.
He was such a wonderful boy.
- Who puts gherkins in a sandwich?
- I do.
Sorry.
You're all right.
Very nice, Sandra.
I must say I'm rather partial
to a gherkin myself.
How old were you
when Mum died?
I was your age.
I'm so sorry, Dad.
Me too.
- How is he?
- Much like you, I imagine.
It's difficult for him
to get his head round.
Take your time.
Don't rush into anything.
Claire?
I will.
- Want a light?
- Didn't know you smoked.
Neither did I.
Well, this is shit.
Yep.
Do we need to talk about Jake?
- Not now.
We don't need to talk about it now.
Okay.
You're the social worker.
Not today, Gabe.
Gabriel?
Oh, I'm sorry.
- You remember Jackie?
- Yes, I remember Jackie.
Well then, I'll be off then.
Okay.
Well, I'll leave you to it.
I'm sure you two must
have a lot to talk about.
Though it's probably for the best.
What's is?
- Jake.
Yes, if Jake doesn't come anymore.
Who said
he wasn't coming anymore?
Well, I've just been talking
to Sandra
and I just assumed
that it would be too difficult.
- Yeah, he's still coming, Dad.
- Oh, okay, okay.
I just misunderstood, that's all.
I'll walk you out, Emrys.
I'm leaving now too.
Why do you think
it would be too difficult?
- No, I want to know. Why?
- Just tell me.
I'm interested.
Well, because he's been through
so much already, hasn't he, poor dab?
And I know this,
it'll be very difficult to fix it now.
Especially on your own.
How long were you
and your Danny together?
Three years.
Short years.
What about you, sweetheart?
Anyone special?
There isn't anyone special enough.
Gabriel?
Not tonight, flower.
Not tonight.
He's dead.
I know, darling.
- Hiya, love.
- Thanks for coming.
But I thought it best
to get the ball rolling
because I think Jake
should move in this weekend.
I know, you probably think it's
too soon, but honestly I am fine.
Gabriel.
Okay, well not fine, obviously,
but well enough for him
Gabe, can I just take
my bloody coat off first?
Sure, sure. Of course.
Not sitting?
The thing is, Gabriel,
I'm afraid we can't just plough on
as if nothing's happened.
- Wait, just let me finish.
I'm meeting with Jake's team tomorrow
to explore our options.
Okay. But make it clear that I want him
to move in sooner rather than later.
- It's not as simple as that, love.
- Why not?
We'll have to go back to panel,
and I'll have to write
an addendum report.
- But I've already been assessed.
- I know that.
But your situation's
different now, isn't it?
So you don't think I can do this
on my own either?
I didn't say that.
I'm not gonna lose Jake as well.
Hey, hey, we're not there yet.
And I promise I am gonna do
everything I can
to make sure that doesn't happen.
But I'm afraid Llinos is gonna
have to come around next week
and start collecting his things
because he's been asking for them.
But hopefully it'll just be temporary,
just until we can sort all this out.
And the best thing
you can do after that is rest.
Do whatever you need
to get through the day,
and give yourself time to grieve,
whatever form that takes.
I mean, for what it's worth,
the best advice anyone
ever gave me about grief,
there are no rules.
Group fun tonight?
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head,
I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles,
It's a very, very
Mad world
Mad world
Children waiting
for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
Made to feel the way
that every child should
Sit and listen
Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello, teacher!
Tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me,
look right through me
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles,
it's a very, very
Mad world
Mad world
Enlarging your world
Mad world
And what type of sex
did you have?
Anal.
And do you know
if he had HIV or not?
Don't know.
Were you sexually assaulted?
No.
Jake?
- Jake?
- Gabriel.
Jake?
- Jake?
- Gabriel.
Jake?
I'm so sorry.
We thought you were someone else.
Come on.
You were the one that said
there are no rules.
I didn't think you'd end up in A&E,
for God's sake.
They will understand though,
won't they?
After everything I've been through.
It's not about you, Gabriel.
It's about Jake
and what he's been through.
'Cause whatever's happened to you,
he has been through
a hell of a lot worse.
The only thing
that matters to them
is whether or not you can be trusted
to take care of a boy
with Jake's needs on your own.
'Cause who's to say that next time
life throws you a curve ball,
and believe me, there will be many,
that you won't fall off
the waggon again
with Jake in your care?
But it won't happen again.
I promise.
It can't happen again.
But the problem now
is that panel will need to see
at least two years
stability after relapse
before they will approve a match.
It wasn't a relapse.
It was a relapse.
It was your default position to stress.
To grief.
Your default position
was to use again.
But I wanna be his dad.
Can be his dad.
Well, they'll have to look into
other options.
Especially as you can't prove to us
- To us?
- Yeah, to us.
Look, Gabriel, sort yourself out.
Whatever it takes.
Grief counselling, therapy.
In the meantime, we've agreed
it would be a good idea,
as well as letterbox contact,
for you to record
a short video message for Jake.
Something acknowledging
how difficult this has all been.
Because we need to make
absolutely sure he knows
that this wasn't all
just some elaborate lie
and that you've rejected him.
Is that what he thinks?
That little boy has had
So what?
He thinks we're just making it up?
That I don't want him anymore?
Oh God, does he not
want me anymore?
It's only fair that you know
he has asked us
to look into other adopters.
So what's the point
in me fighting for him then?
Because he is not capable
of knowing what he wants
because he's just a little boy,
Gabriel.
I mean, in his head,
he thought he was gonna
have two daddies.
And one of them died.
And the moment
he experienced that loss,
another catastrophic loss,
you didn't show up for him either.
I am just saying
how it will feel to him.
But he can't know what he needs.
He's just a child.
So don't take it personally.
But only you can decide
if there is something worth
fighting for.
You think it's hopeless,
don't you?
I don't know.
But I've already lost my son.
So I would never forgive you
if you didn't give it your best shot.
And you're not gonna be
on your own, are you?
You twat.
Hi, Jake, it's Daddy here.
I don't know about you,
but I'm finding this so weird.
Sometimes all I want to do
is scream.
And if you're feeling
anything like I am,
you'll be feeling very sad
and confused
because this is an incredibly strange
and difficult situation.
But I want you to know
that I really haven't stopped
thinking about you
and I still love you very much.
And I hope more than anything
that I'll get to see you again
very soon.
Oh and give my love to Billy for me.
So I'm feeling great actually.
I mean, I know that it's early days,
but I have so much energy.
And I've been thinking,
just because there are
five stages of grief,
it doesn't mean
that we all have to go through
every single one of them,
does it?
And what are those stages?
Well, denial, anger, bargaining.
I'm just reading
the poster behind you.
You do know that, don't you?
And where are you on
that spectrum, Gabriel?
See that's the thing,
I don't think I'm on it anymore.
Okay, but if you had
to put yourself somewhere,
just as a thought experiment,
where would that be?
Honestly, I'm not on it
'cause all I wanna do
is start a family, my family.
That I've got so much energy
and love, I could burst.
And I wanna be able to
focus that love somewhere,
which is why I'm doing
everything I can
to prove that I can parent Jake.
Because I've never felt
so invincible.
That's how I feel.
Yeah, invincible.
So there you go, Sharon.
Not on the spectrum, am I?
In fact, I am shitting
all over your spectrum
because invincibility isn't anywhere
near that spectrum, is it?
- It is Gabriel.
- No, it isn't.
Look again.
Oh yeah, sorry.
Acceptance, isn't it?
No, Gabriel.
It's denial.
Fuck.
How do you think
that made me feel?
Look, how can his death be deemed
as a death by misadventure?
I mean, misadventure?
What the fuck?
Makes dying almost sound fun,
doesn't it?
As if we're all missing out.
Are you clear what misadventure
means, Gabriel?
Unintended consequence
of an intentional act.
Right.
All I want to do is catch the fucker
who performed that intentional act,
which unintentionally
killed my Andy,
and unintentionally kill him
as well.
Okay.
But don't worry.
We have very little
to go on I'm afraid.
Our only hope is if somebody
comes forward in the future.
Come back, "Crimewatch."
All is forgiven.
You know, I thought I saw
my dad on "Crimewatch" once.
And for a split second,
I thought he'd robbed
a bank in Milton Keynes.
Even checked the calendar,
see where he was that day.
Do you want to talk
about your dad?
No. You're all right.
But Andy didn't deserve it though,
did he?
He was a saint.
That if anyone was gonna die first,
it should have been me.
And then I found myself
wondering if that's why he died,
because he was a saint.
Only the good die young, all that.
Or if Andy's death
was a punishment from God
for my past behaviour.
I don't even believe in God.
Then I feel even more guilty
'cause I've somehow managed
to make Andy's death
all about me again.
He can't even be centre
stage in his own demise.
Poor bugger.
And then all I want
is to hear him tell me
that I'm a self-centered,
egotistical twat again.
So I find myself pleading
with they upstairs,
because if there is God
they're probably non-binary, right?
And I find myself saying things like,
if I promise to stop masturbating,
can I please wake up
from this nightmare
and find Andy
coming out to the shower
like Bobby Ewing in "Dallas."
Is any of this normal?
This is all perfectly normal.
I want you to know I really
haven't stopped thinking about you
and I still love you very much.
And I hope more than anything
that I'll get to see you again
very soon.
Oh, and give my love
to Billy for me.
You've come a really long way.
I don't feel like I have.
You have.
You did the work, Gabe.
You're financially solvent.
Only because Andy ignored me
and paid the life insurance anyway.
You've clearly demonstrated
you are committed
to being the best dad
you can be to Jake.
Which is why we think
it's time we took it back to panel.
- What? Really?
- Really.
That is, if you still want Jake.
Yes. Yes, of course,
I still want Jake.
Which is excellent news
because he's been asking for you.
- He has?
- He has.
Fuck off!
Please don't say that
to panel, will you?
- Thank you.
- It's not a done deal yet.
I mean just 'cause you want it,
just 'cause Jake wants it
doesn't mean that panel
will think it's a good idea.
Hey.
They're ready for you.
Just be prepared.
They won't go easy on you in there.
So I suppose, in the end,
it comes down to a matter
of balancing risk.
Is it better for Jake's wellbeing
to remain in the care system?
Deny the parent he's asked for
and all the pain
and rejection that would bring?
Or we perhaps risking more
if we approve this match?
Because if you can't cope
as a single adopter, Gabriel,
then Jake's suffering
could be greater.
Of course it's a risk.
Believing me for such a long time,
it's been the first thing
I think about when I wake up
and last thing I think about
before I sleep, if I sleep.
And, like most of you,
I've had so many doubts.
What if I fail Jake again?
Now, how can I know that fighting
for this is the right decision?
But that's the point.
I can't.
How can I possibly know
what's right?
How can you know?
It's impossible.
This isn't science.
These are emotions,
relationships, vulnerabilities.
We're all just humans trying
to figure out how to get through life.
So we can't know,
but we can feel.
And all we can ever do is go
on the information we have
and what that does to our guts,
our heart, here.
I know I've messed up a lot,
but my God,
the intention to love him
and love him and love him
is there.
And it's not just me.
I have the most extraordinary
support network
who love Jake as well.
And who, despite my flaws,
love me too.
And they want this to work out
more than anything.
I have my village.
And so my gut is crying out
that this is, in all probability,
the best thing for Jake.
Love, the best thing.
But you're right, it's a risk,
and it's scary,
and you have to listen
to your own guts.
But if I'd listened to my fears
about all the things
that could go wrong in my life,
I would never have come out,
I'd never have met Andy,
I would never have met Jake.
And yeah, approving this
might be the wrong decision,
but it might also end up
being the best thing
that's ever happened
to both of us.
Thank you, Gabriel,
for everything
that you've shared with us.
We've had to think really hard
about this.
It is a high-risk decision,
but we've come
to the unanimous decision
to approve the match.
You've got a brilliant
support network, Gabriel.
And you got a good 'un there too.
Oh, good boy.
He's a good boy.
Gabriel?
Is that you?
Yeah.
Where've you been?
You alright?
Yes.
I just wanted to tell you
that Jake is coming to me.
They're happy for me to adopt him
on my own.
Dad?
Here you are.
So just one more thing.
Will there ever not be
just one more thing?
Welcome to parenting.
We need to talk
about meeting birth mum.
You've agreed, Gabe,
and she's come a really
long way this last year.
She's moved area for a fresh start
and she's committed
to getting herself clean.
She's been through a lot too.
I don't really care
what she's been through.
Jake's my priority.
Which is exactly
why you should meet her.
You'll be able to answer his questions
about her in the future.
We'll control everything.
We'll agree on the questions
you ask each other beforehand,
things you'll wanna know
about Jake
and she'll wanna know about,
well, you and the kind of life
you'll be able to give him.
Just think how nice
it'll be one day
when you are able to say to Jake,
I met your mum once.
I didn't know if I was supposed
to come in or not,
'cause they said at the desk
that Llinos is already here.
But they obviously got that wrong,
didn't they,
'cause she's not here, is she?
Fuck. Shouldn't have come in yet,
should I?
Should have waited outside
and now I made this really weird.
Becky, it's fine.
You're very welcome.
I'm sure Llinos
will be here in a moment.
Well, I wouldn't bet on it.
You know as well as I do social workers
are a waste of fucking space.
Where's your social worker?
I'm a social worker.
Fuck.
Really?
I thought you were
his special friend or something.
Like, they offered me,
I was offered, but I didn't want it
'cause it's no one else's business,
is it?
You know, this?
It's just mine. Ours.
Shit. Sorry.
I'm sure you're not a waste of space.
Is she a waste of space?
No.
Good. That's good then.
God, bit bloody formal,
this, isn't it?
And what's
with all the plastic bottles?
They fine you for screwing up
the recycling
then they give you
all this plastic shit.
I thought we'd meet in reception.
Yeah, you weren't fucking there,
were you?
And I've been making
a right tit out myself.
Come charging in like a paedophile
in a playground.
Anyway, you're here now,
so we sitting down then or what?
Okay, so this is your opportunity
to share any information
you have about Jake.
You got the questions from the adopter,
didn't you, Becky?
Doesn't he have a name?
Yeah, but as discussed,
he'll be known as the adopter.
Why? In case you look him
up on Facebook or something,
try and kill him?
Nobody's suggesting that.
Because adopter makes him sound
like the RoboCop
or Terminator or something.
- It's what we agreed.
- All right, all right. I get it.
They're good questions.
Thank you.
And the adopter has
- Thought they were shit, did you?
- Sorry?
I said yours are good.
You said nothing. It's rude.
- No.
- I'm joking, man.
God, you're all so fucking touchy.
- Becky.
- All right. All right.
Over to you, adopter.
I just wanted to ask
about his name.
Why did you decide
to call him Jake?
Take your time, Becky.
It's okay to be upset.
I'm not upset.
- Take a moment.
- I don't need a fucking moment.
It's 'cause I like Joseph, innit?
The musical.
Yeah, I was in it
when I was at school.
I couldn't sing for shit,
but I could dance the tits off anyone.
But I didn't want Joseph
'cause of Stalin.
So I settled for Jacob.
It's a stronger name, anyway,
and I wanted him to be strong.
I want him to be strong.
Is that all right, like?
It's great.
You were gonna say
his name now, weren't you?
Don't get your knickers
in a twist.
I'm not gonna try and guess.
Go on, next one.
I wanted to ask about his dad,
his birth dad, Liam.
How did you meet?
At a drum and base club,
off my tits on molly.
Promised me the world
and utterly destroyed it.
Go on, next one.
When did Jake start
speaking and walking?
That's actually two questions,
but I won't hold it against you.
Right one you've got me here, Llin.
I thought you said he was intelligent.
- I'm joking, man. God.
I hope you're more fun with Jake.
Anyway, Jakey took his first steps
at 15 months,
just as "Call the Midwife"
was starting.
I don't forget anything, see?
I remember everything.
Everything.
Jakey buddy loves
"Call the Midwife," by the way.
You need to watch it with him.
I thought all nuns were cunts
before I watched that.
And his first word was,
"Mum," I think.
What are you staring at?
No. Nothing.
And your next question?
Your happiest memory of him.
I think it was seeing him
for the first time.
Couldn't believe how much
I loved this pink wriggly thing
that had just like mutilated
my fanny.
But I did, I loved him.
More than I've ever loved
anything before or since,
ever will again, maybe.
Your last question.
What do you hope
that he achieves?
More than I have.
It might be nice
if you can elaborate.
No, I don't have
anything else to say.
I wanna ask my questions.
That was your last question,
wasn't it, adopter?
- Yeah.
- Good. Yeah.
Right, what I wanna know is,
will you have other
close family around?
Yes. His Nan's not too far away
and she really can't wait to meet him.
Good.
'Cause you'll need help, you know?
It's hard doing it
on your own.
Although I was actually
dead chuffed
when I heard
he was going to a single man,
'cause I'm his only mammy then, see?
And I think it'd be good for him.
He needs to know that not all men
are complete and utter dickheads.
Why are you doing this on your own
anyway, by the way? You gay?
Yes, actually.
Cool.
Yeah, I'm cool with that,
'cause my nan's a lesbian
and she's a total legend.
- Why is your nan a legend?
- No, that's on the list.
Is he allowed to ask questions
that are not on the list?
We've time if you wanna answer.
All right, well don't be surprised
if I go park
all of my questions as well.
Nan's a legend because
she's the only one that gave a shit
that my dad was a fucking asshole.
I'm so sorry to hear that.
So how come you're single then?
I mean, like,
you're hardly a munter.
You just haven't found
right one yet, have you?
My partner, he died.
Oh God. Right.
What happened?
We're not actually sure,
but he was probably attacked.
But anyway, he fell
- Shit. Sorry.
- It's okay.
It's not okay. It's fucking sad.
- Llinos, get the man a tissue.
- No, I'm fine, honestly.
No, get the fucking man
a tissue, I said.
You'll cry if you want to.
There's absolutely nothing
to be ashamed of.
And you make sure
you teach that to Jakey too.
What was his name,
your partner?
Andrew.
Andy.
His name is Andy.
That's nice.
No. Shit.
No. I shouldn't have said.
Oh, shit. Sorry.
Like I just wanted to know
what his name was 'cause,
well, 'cause he would've been
his dad as well, wouldn't he?
Yeah.
Lucky boy, you know?
Not one, but two nice dads
to take care of him.
I mean, look at you.
Look at your kind face.
Will you take Jake on holiday?
Yes. Yes.
But there's lots of places
that I'd like to share with him.
Last question.
Do you have a garden?
Yes.
Front and back garden.
Just got a trampoline in the back,
'cause, well, I know
how much he loves that.
Actually, can I ask
one more question?
Fuck.
You will love him, won't you?
I already do.
Good.
Because I love him too, see,
I want him to have a good life.
I want him to be happy.
And you will let him know that?
That I loved him?
That it wasn't
because I didn't love him.
God, look at you.
Look at your kind face.
He takes after you, you know?
No, it's true.
He's bright and funny,
and he's so funny,
and loving.
You should be really proud of that.
We always think it's nice
if there's a picture
of the two of you together
for Jake.
I don't have to put my arm
around him or anything?
No, you can just stand
next to each other.
I feel like a right fucking pleb.
No, it's lovely.
Thanks.
Right then, we better
get going, innit, Llin?
Christ, I could do with a drink.
And you'll have things to do,
I imagine.
Well anyway, goodbye, RoboCop.
My name's Gabriel.
Thank you.
Come on, let's go.
End of episode 3