Maid (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

Celery sticks and hummus, whole-grain crackers, seedless grapes if they're over the age of 2.
Low-fat Greek yogurt with granola and berries.
Some string cheeses, bananas, kiwis, pears.
Is this motherfucker just gonna keep listing fruits? Blueberries, tangerines, and apples with peanut butter.
Okay, moms, what's a healthy snack we can give Jimmy from anywhere on the food pyramid? Yes.
- Uh, trail mix? Actually, be careful with trail mix, especially if it's store-bought and comes mixed with candies.
So you're gonna want a full nut-and-berry trail mix.
Oh.
Moms, that's our time for today.
But remember, kids need three healthy meals a day, every day.
Parents do not get a day off.
Hi.
- Hey there, sweetie.
Ready to rock and roll.
How was class? - He made us put diapers on a melon.
Gary.
Why do I have to do this? - It's court-mandated.
Parents who have lost custody have to do PEP class.
Yolanda offered me a shift this morning, and I turned it down to learn about whole grains.
Completing the class will look very good at your hearing.
If it helps get Maddy, I'm gonna be the valedictorian of Bad Mom School.
That's for you.
You brought me a coffee? - It's just Folgers, baby girl.
There he is.
Howie, hi.
- Dee.
Always lovely.
Is this Alex? - Yes, sir.
Thank you so much.
I really, really appreciate this.
Thank you.
Oh, please.
Call me Howie.
Howie's been donating his Wednesday lunch hour to McMullen House for years.
His wife makes him do it.
She does not.
She just likes me slightly more when I do.
I have to state this upfront.
I don't practice family law and I don't represent you.
I'm an estate lawyer, giving free legal counsel in a field I'm not an expert in.
I appreciate any advice I can get, thank you.
Denise says you're back in court Friday? - Yes.
How involved are you in your daughter's day-to-day care? I am her day-to-day care.
- That's good.
That's very good.
It's gonna help you get joint custody.
No, I don't want joint custody.
I want Maddy all the time.
Didn't you take her from her home for 72 hours without her father's consent? For her own good.
It doesn't matter.
You can't take a child away like that.
It's grounds for losing custody.
It's his word against yours.
You know, Howie believes you, baby girl.
Absolutely.
But emotional abuse is tricky.
Legally, it's not classified as domestic abuse in this state.
Ass-backwards.
- All right, so I'm in a DV shelter, and the DV shelter says emotional abuse is domestic violence.
But the court says that it's not? Correct.
So I'm fucked.
No.
We'll get you a strong character witness.
Do you have someone who can speak on your behalf? Sure.
What about permanent housing in close proximity to Dad? Getting her in transitional housing tomorrow.
Good.
File these forms with the clerk no later than 7 p.
m.
tomorrow.
I have to fill all this out and go to work and go to mom class by 7 tomorrow? Yeah.
The court needs proof that you're enrolled in SNAP benefits.
That's your food-stamp vouchers and EBT card.
You apply in person, and the wait is long.
So go early.
Bring proof of residency, information about your income, the name of your voluntary resettlement agency, VOLAG, if applicable.
The court needs to see proof of financial security, proof that the parent is employed in a legal, income-generating Court needs copies of pay stubs, bank accounts, credit cards, rental lease and utility bills, any ongoing medical costs.
If you plan on taking advantage of the WCCC childcare program, provided you meet all the TANF WorkFirst requirements, the court needs to see that verification paper.
Same for LIHEAP.
You need proof of a support system.
Extended family, friends, emergency contact.
Name, number, address.
You need written testimonials about your character, who can speak on your behalf, say what a great mother you are.
- Fuck me! Late! - I know, I'm sorry.
The B9 bus.
I'm gonna start calling you Sorry.
Sorry, you're so sorry.
Kiara's waiting outside.
You have a move-out in Merritt.
Who's Kiara? I haven't met her.
- I'll set up a lunch.
We'll have the Cobb salad and rosé.
Where are you going? No.
- To change.
No uniforms for move-out cleans.
What's a move-out clean? - You'll see.
Kiara? Your seat's wet.
It looks like piss, but it's Mountain Dew.
Get in.
Thank you so much for the ride, by the way.
Yolanda made me.
But I can't drive you home, so don't even ask.
No, yeah, I'll take the bus.
How a grown-ass woman doesn't have her own wheels is the question.
Yeah.
I'm sorry, I've gotta take this real quick.
Mom.
- Hey, Basil said you texted me.
Why is Basil checking your phone? He was putting a Venmo app on my phone and saw the text.
Why was Basil putting Venmo on your phone? That's your bank information.
- Don't start.
I'm really busy.
Doing what? Oh, I'm embroidering little tits and vaginas onto T-shirts.
I got a big order on Esty.
- It's Etsy.
Some sorority is doing a girl-power thing.
A sorority is paying you to embroider boobs and vaginas? Yep.
Embroidered tees are the new pussyhats.
What's up? Are you around tomorrow? - Why? What did you do with Grandma's furniture? - Why? I'm moving.
I would love to use her furniture, and I'd really love your truck.
- You're moving? Well, that's exciting.
I saw Sean at the Penny Saver, and he did not say a word.
I'm not moving with Sean.
I left him.
Was Maddy with him at the Penny Saver? - No.
He was on his bike.
Okay.
Uh So can you help me tomorrow? With what? Moving.
Alex, I really don't think you should do that, hon.
You don't leave a good man when he's trying, and Sean is trying to evolve.
Okay, can I use your truck or not, Mom? - Sure, kiddo.
What for? - For the love of God, I'm moving tomorrow.
Holy shit, what is that smell? Sewage.
Squatters break in, or tenants who get evicted but stay after the water and electric is off.
Keep using the toilet too.
Foul-ass motherfuckers.
I'm gonna be sick.
- Breathe through your mouth.
You get the lay of the land.
I'm gonna get the wet-vac and supplies.
Fuck.
Hey! New girl, where you at? I'm in here.
A kid was squatting here.
Who the fuck would do this to a child? - It's character-building.
Let's divvy this up.
Dusting's where I shine, so I'll take bedrooms.
You take the kitchen and the bathroom.
- Why do I get the worst rooms? You're new.
No, he DM'd me, 'DTF?' Huh? Huh? No, 'cause his old lady looks like a house elf in Harry Potter.
I know.
No one plays mini golf, he's gay! I'm telling you.
I'm gonna have to call you back.
You okay, newbie? Can't handle the heat, chef? I don't think I can do this.
So quit.
I'll tell Yolanda.
I can't quit.
Then don't quit.
Either way, toilet's not gonna clean itself.
Son of a bitch, are you fucking kidding me? Sorry! Do you mind if I get out? Could we get a drink for this single dad over here? Jesus Christ, you're really helping Where the fuck is Maddy? Shit.
- Where is Maddy? It's Alex Russell.
All fun must cease.
- Talk to me.
Where's Maddy? Relax.
She's with my mom.
Why do you have a vacuum? Are you drunk? - I'm working on it.
And you've been out all day biking? - So? So Maddy's with your mom, on the couch, watching Jeopardy? No, no, no.
They watch Wheel of Fortune.
This is funny to you? - Well Are you kidding me, Sean? What if she got sick? What if she got hurt? What if she needed to go to the ER? My mom would take her.
Your mom that spent half your childhood addicted to Oxy? That's taking care of our daughter? Talk to me, Sean! My mom's sober.
I don't get it! - What don't you get? Maddy's a fucking baby.
She's been with me for every second of her life.
Don't understand why you're gonna take her if you're not gonna spend time with her.
Will you chill? - I'm not gonna chill! I'm having one round.
- Bullshit! Then I'm going home.
You've had four rounds! Probably five! Alex, if I'm having a few drinks, it's because I'm doing fucking triage.
Okay? Everyone heard you say I have a rage problem.
You do have a rage problem! - Yeah, well, these people are my regulars.
You have a rage problem.
- Say that with a straight face.
You have a rage problem and a drinking problem, and you shouldn't have custody if your mommy does it for you.
The whole reason my mom is here is because my girlfriend dumped me and then stole my kid and then she almost killed her in a fucking car accident! This is an emergency.
You are an emergency.
And you smell like shit.
Sorry, guys.
- Don't worry, bro.
Drink.
Hi.
- Is she asleep? Yes.
Can I just see her? I love you.
I love you so much.
Thanks, Doreen.
- Bye.
So today I want to talk about stability.
And whoosh! Take these.
- Let's take a scenario.
This is Chloe, age 4.
Chloe lives at home with two parents who love her very, very much.
And she has stability.
She has three meals a day, snack at snack time, lights out at 7, and a day care that she's very familiar with.
But now let's say Chloe's parents separate suddenly, okay? Chloe now shuffles back and forth between them, and that sense of home she had Gone! Hmm.
Chloe's chances of having emotional, psychological, and academic difficulties are 55 percent higher than they were before this.
That's how important stability is.
So, moms, what can we do? Let's help turn Chloe's frown upside down.
Okay? I have some amazing news! You are gonna die when I tell you.
- Okay.
Can we run a few errands in town before we get the keys to my place? Sure! So guess who I ran into.
- Who, Mom? Fey! - Who's Fey? Oh, baby, he is this genius curator I met a million years ago.
I can't remember where, but I think it was at the artists' residence in Maine.
Remember the time when I found the cash on the street for my flight? I was like, 'Oh, man, talk about karma!' Anyway, he's here.
Who's here? - Fey, the curator I met in Maine.
He's running the Hummingbird, and I ran into him.
I'm here to apply for SNAP for me and my daughter.
Here's my application and my ID.
And he was like, 'Paula Langley, is that you?' So I say, 'Fey, do you realize the Hummingbird has never given me a show?' I'm here to apply for LIHEAP.
My application and ID.
And he was like, 'You've got to be kidding me.
' And how do I enroll in WCCC? I just tell him all about my new series, and he says, 'Bring it in.
' Thank you.
- So maybe you didn't hear me.
I'm having my own show.
Who is? Me! They offered me a solo show at the Hummingbird.
Hey, that's really great.
That's great, Mom.
Yeah, and it works out just perfectly.
Because my favorite bronze is at Larry's.
So we'll snag it when we're getting Mom's furniture.
And then we'll drop off the whole kit and kaboodle at the gallery.
Today, no.
We can't do that today.
- Yeah! It takes two to lift that sculpture.
You help me and we scratch each other's back.
Right, because that's what today's about, Mom.
Hi.
Are you Luis? I'm Alex, it's very nice to meet you.
This is my mother, Paula.
Hola, Luis.
Ooh! Okay.
This way.
Can you not, please? Guest understands this is an emergency shelter.
It is not your home.
Guest understands pay stubs are to be submitted weekly.
Any change of income or child support must be reported immediately.
Guest understands overnight visitors are not allowed.
Guest understands random urinalysis may be requested.
Did you say I have to pee in a cup? - Half the residents are recently homeless.
The other half are recently released from jail.
So we have a strict no drugs or alcohol policy here.
So this is a halfway house? Are there people on parole living here? - Well, it's a lot of things, mama.
Only subsidized housing in the county.
You sign here and here, okay? Just give us a second.
I love it.
It's got great bones.
I can't bring Maddy here with ex-cons living next door to us.
Bullshit.
We just need to brighten it up.
That's all.
I will help you.
It'll be fine.
We'll get some house plants.
We'll go by Larry's and get Mom's old furniture.
I'll have Basil drop off my paints.
I'll paint a mural over Maddy's bed, of monkeys and sunflowers! You know, we'll just bring the sunshine right in.
It'll be a real girl pad.
It'll be okay.
I just need you to fill in these forms, Mom.
I have to turn them in by 7 tonight.
- Piece of cake.
Just keep going straight until you hit the dirt road.
I know.
I learned how to drive on this road, Mom.
Really? I don't remember that.
Larry taught me in his Bronco.
Weren't you in middle school when we lived out here? Nope.
I got picked up for my junior prom out here.
In my senior year, we went to Craig's.
- Craig? Yeah.
He lived down by the reservoir, and he had a pet ferret.
Oh.
Craig.
Shit, but you know Larry was a good guy.
Always trying to pin me down.
Poor thing.
It might be hard for him to part with the obelisk, so let me take the lead on that.
You know, people get really attached to their art.
We also have to get Grandma's furniture, which is the reason that we're here.
Yeah, yeah.
So how do I look? Are my girls too out? You look good.
Oh! Oh, shit! Good job, squirt.
- Oh, my God! What the hell! Sorry about Wicket.
That's the way he says hi.
Hi, Larry.
Is that Alex? Holy shit, sister, you're all grown up! Hi, Larry.
Paula, would you look at you, huh? It's been a minute.
- Cute grandson.
Wicket? Oh, no, that's my son.
Your son? Yeah, I got a couple of new additions running around.
They're with their mom.
Up there! Say hi, Petal! She looks like a fucking bitch.
Oh, Paula.
So you ladies finally want your old furniture back, huh? It's in the barn.
Hey, look, Lar, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to take the obelisk.
What's an obelisk? The bronze statue that I made for you when you turned 45.
Oh.
It's a big, pointy thing.
Oh.
Oh.
You mean the big dick sculpture? - That's the one.
It's an obelisk.
It's the ancient symbol of the sun god, Ra.
Yeah.
I got that in the barn too.
You keep it in the barn? That's a really important early work of mine.
Well, Petal moved in.
I had to make some space.
Pull the truck up to the barn door, will you, kiddo? Petal, that's not a name.
Hey, it's my old softball bat.
He told me that he would never get married again, that he was too set in his ways.
Why do you care, Mom? You guys broke up a decade ago.
I don't understand why you're upset.
If he was gonna break his stupid marriage rule, it should have been for me.
These are all my old journals.
- My ass was completely out in the wind.
Moving my whole art studio into his house.
And your daughter.
She's so young.
- So is Basil, Mom.
This is great.
Mom.
My God.
- I found it.
I can't believe he left it here.
- Is this gonna fit in the truck? Wow.
That dick's bigger than I remember.
- Are you blind? Nothing about that looks like a penis.
Come on, Alex.
You lift by the balls.
I'll take the shaft.
Is this the balls right here? - Yep.
Thanks for the help, Mom.
Can we go now? You're being very rude.
- Rude? What I am is running out of time to find love, Alex, because I wasted time on that clown.
Hey, Mom we're about to drop your art at a gallery.
You're a working artist.
Life's good.
You're good.
You're right.
There she goes.
We're rescuing the obelisk from the philistines, and now we're gonna deliver it to superior people.
Mm-hm.
You're gonna wave goodbye to this nice man who stored your stuff for an entire decade, yep? Put a bra on, bitch.
Can you please fill out my form now? Write that I'm a good mom, that I'm stable and able, that I take good care of Maddy.
Give an example, sign it, that's it.
Please, this is very important.
I have to turn this into court by 7 p.
m.
or I could lose Maddy.
Hey.
What do you want me to say? - That I'm a good mom.
That I take great care of Maddy.
If you add that Sean is abusive, that would be helpful.
Sean? Emotional abuse is abuse.
What does that even mean? How can emotions be abused? Where do people get this stuff? All right.
Did you notice that we were in a bank earlier? Yep.
- Did you notice what I was doing? Banking.
I was opening a bank account because I don't have one because Sean took my ATM card when I didn't pay the electric bill and said he would handle all money.
Honey, Sean's good with money, and you're like me, shitty with it.
Or I was isolated in a trailer for two years without any access to money, and that's financial abuse, a form of emotional abuse.
Where are you getting this shit? Your class? No.
I'm getting this from the DV shelter, Mom.
This is why I don't go to the doctor, because if you start poking around because you think something's wrong, you're gonna find something.
That's an incredibly fucked-up point of view.
Hey, I'm helping you move.
I'm gonna fill out your form.
I'm obviously supporting you here, but can I name 450 things that men have done to me that are worse than balancing a checkbook? Yes, I can! Your chickenshit father, for one, turned against me because I wanted to be more than a boring townie! And you've had some moods, I'd say.
- I have passion.
All that man had was depression.
- Okay, Mother.
Ha.
Fey, it's Paula! Oh Ask and you shall receive, my friend, my friend! Honey, put it right there! - Ask and receive? It could be the centerpiece.
- Of? My show! I've got the rest of the stuff out in the truck.
Some very heady stuff, really cerebral.
Ten paintings, four sculptures, some mixed media.
Oh, shit! I said mixed media.
I meant mixed metal, but, babe, I can get you some media.
There's been some - Hey, Mom.
You know what, we just need to clear that wall Hey, Mom.
- and face the obelisk north because we don't want any shadows, honey.
Mom.
Honey, can't you see I'm talking? - Yes, I can.
But he's trying to say something to you.
Something's wrong.
Oh! Darling Fey, I'm so sorry.
What is it? - Um, we've got our wires crossed.
I didn't offer you a show.
You said that my work deserved a larger audience and that I should bring it in.
I meant in a general sense, like I'd maybe do a show with a group of local artists in the future.
I didn't mean now.
You said that you were kicking yourself for not snagging one of my bronzes when you could have.
That's just a thing people say to be nice.
You know, I I'm so sorry, Paula.
You know what a fan I am.
What would this town be without you and your pizzazz? Ah.
I understand completely.
Thank you for your interest in my work.
I will be in the car.
Any chance I can leave this with you? - Absolutely not.
He sounded like he was really serious about the group show with local artists.
I bet you'd headline that.
And we got the obelisk back, Mom.
Basil's coming over.
He's bringing your paints.
You can do the mural for Maddy, with sunflowers, all those butterflies.
That's gonna cheer you right up.
You're an extremely rude person, aren't you? We don't have to talk, Cilantro.
Not even saying thank you to the guy that gives you a hand.
I said thank you right when you got here, and I meant it.
Thank you.
We both know you were being sarcastic.
- Okay.
What did you say to your mother, anyway? Why is she in such a state? She's upset about her art show.
Wait, she had an art show? - She most certainly did not.
I'm confused.
Basil, you're just not gonna be around long enough for me to explain this to you.
Let me explain something, Alex.
Your mother and I, we're in love.
You're gonna be gone in three months, and I'm gonna be like, 'Bye!' That's an awful lot of meanness coming from someone who scrubs toilets for a living.
Meanness? Is that what they say in fake Australia? Hey, Paula! Your daughter's being rude.
- I have a genius idea! How good does a burger and a beer sound right now, huh? Yeah.
Thanks again for all your help.
- Oh, yeah, you bet.
Have a burger and a beer with us, honey.
You haven't eaten all day.
I've got way too much to do.
But sweetheart, I've got to fill that form out.
I can do it there! Okay.
- Fuck the Hummingbird.
Why is it even called the Hummingbird? It's stupid.
I'm not going to another one of their openings ever again.
Free cheese or not.
It has taken me my entire life to become the artist that I am.
Baby, you inspire.
Oh.
See? Basil appreciates me.
He values my time.
Unlike Larry.
Who's Larry? - I mean, what is it with this town? They just wanna keep me imprisoned in mediocrity.
Okay.
Hey.
Time to get out of here, guys.
Time to go.
- No, we want another round, so No, I've got to get to the clerk's office by 7 p.
m.
Fine.
We'll get the check.
Garçon! Could she get the check, please? Why would the check come to me? - You're paying.
We helped you move, the least you can do is buy us a couple of burgers.
You guys invited me, so you were gonna pay.
Babe, we can put this on my credit card.
- No, no, no.
It's the principle.
It's Happy Hour, it's not expensive.
It's 36.
85! You can pay for that! Can't you? - No, I can't.
You just got a job, Alex.
You just moved me into a homeless shelter.
Okay, well, you just pay for the burgers, and we'll pay for the beer! That's fair.
- I can't pay for any of it.
I have exactly six bucks until payday.
- Six bucks.
That's not enough to pay for your burger.
Unbelievable.
- It's not very considerate, Alex.
No.
Okay.
I need the form.
Oh, fuck.
When was that? - Now, Mom.
It's due right now.
I'm gonna write 'not applicable' because you are not applicable.
You are not my character witness.
You cannot speak on my behalf.
You can't buy me a burger on the worst week of my life.
You are the shittiest mother on the planet.
I'm not the shittiest.
I never lost custody of you.
I know what you're thinking.
Today we'll be walking the catwalk.
No, not that kind of modeling, moms.
Today is about what you're teaching your child through your own behavior, what you model to them.
Now, it sounds cliché, but your actions speak louder than words.
Your children see how you handle stress, how you treat other people.
They soak all that info in like little sponges.
Children follow our example.
Kids don't come out of the womb knowing how to be violent and rude.
They learn it, from you.
Let's take a scenario.
What's up, Ethan? - Hey, Sean's not with you, is he? No, he's not.
Why? Okay, cool.
- He's probably at work? Yeah, he didn't show up.
It's fine.
I'm covering for him.
But he'll get fired if he doesn't show up for the night shift.
What time was he supposed to be there? - 11, to open.
But he probably overslept, let his phone die.
We had a late night.
Did you call his mom and tell her to wake his ass up? I did.
He's not there.
Okay, bye.
Hello? - Hey, is Maddy with you? Yes, she's right here.
She's fine.
We're having our snack.
Okay, where is Sean? - Uh, work, I think.
Bullshit.
Did Sean not come home last night? That's my son's business.
- Sean staying out all night isn't unusual, but he always shows up for work the next day, so something's wrong.
When was the last time you heard from him? Two days ago.
- Is Maddy good with you a bit longer? Yep, she is.
- Okay.
Bye.
Jasmine! - Yeah? Okay, I'm gonna jump out here.
This is perfect.
What are you doing down here getting wrecked by yourself, Sean? I'm hiding.
Go away.
Can you stand? I'm fine.
I'll be a mess when the coke wears off, though.
Okay, give me your keys.
Give me your keys.
I'm gonna drive you home.
I'm not my mom.
- Then stop acting like your mom! You know why there's so much sea glass on this beach? It was a dump once.
Way back.
Sea turns trash into treasure over time.
Why don't you like me anymore? You hired a lawyer and got a judge to take my kid away from me.
No, before that.
You stopped liking me a long time ago.
Why? I like you enough to pick you up when you're drunk.
Why? Because you're Maddy's dad.
Is that the only reason? This used to be fun.
We had fun together.
We used to come down here and laugh.
And fuck.
Now, it's just like 'You're a piece of shit, Sean.
' - It can't be fun all the time.
Maddy's a really big responsibility.
I'm sea glass.
I'm not trash.
Just give me time.
I'm not Okay, let's get out of here.
Come on.
Make more treasure, waves! I'm gonna throw up for a quick sec.
I'll meet you at the car.
He just needs to sleep it off.
Is Maddy asleep? - Mm-hm.
Can I give her a kiss on the forehead? - Yeah, go ahead.
Just like his daddy.
A bird that never flew.
Where's your certificate of completion? For the PEP class? We didn't get one.
- Oh, yes, you did.
Gary gives it out at the end of the last class.
I stepped out to take a phone call.
Where are your character witness statements? I tried.
I couldn't get any.
Is this really bad? The court likes to see those things, so it's not great, no.
But you go in and say how stable and able you are to care for Maddy.
Hey, can I talk to you for a minute? Yeah.
Hi.
Hi.
I just went to a meeting.
Sorry about yesterday.
Thank you for - Sure.
So I'm gonna drop the whole ex parte, whatever, motion.
Um I don't want full custody.
I mean, I do want it, but I can't do Maddy 24/7 and stay sober.
I can't have my fucking mom living with me, triggering the shit out of me.
And Maddy misses you.
She does? 'Mommy, Mommy, Mommy' all the time.
'Where's my mommy? Where's my mommy?' I'm like, 'Fuck if I know, kid.
' But if we're gonna do this, it's shared custody.
Okay, she's mine too.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
We can figure that out.
And if you total another car with her in it, we'll be right back here in court.
Okay, yeah.
Same here, if you get drunk again while you're in charge of her.
Okay, then.
Okay, then.
How soon do I get to have her back? And this is Mommy and Maddy's new building.
This is Mommy and Maddy's new favorite tree.
And this is Mommy and Maddy's friend Luis.
You want to say hi to Luis? Hi.
Your mom was here.
I let her in.
Next time I won't.
Okay.
Is she still in there? - No.
Came and went.
Thank you.
Sorry about that.
And here we have Mommy and Maddy's new stairs.
And this is Mommy and Maddy's new apartment.
Mommy and Maddy's new kitchen.
Maddy's new bedroom! Look what she did.
How pretty is that? Grammy came in and painted that for you.
Look at the butterfly she made.
Can you kiss that monkey's hand? Oh, my, that's so good.
Yeah.