Masameer County (2021) s01e03 Episode Script
Lapis
1
THIS PROGRAM IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
IT IS A WORK OF FICTION BASED ON REALITY
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
Thirty-five riyals.
Wait a sec. I'll go get my wallet.
Here you go. I'm sorry.
I don't have any change for tips.
Every person will get what they deserve.
-Are you Saudi?
-That's none of your business.
What's wrong, dude?
I know you don't like your job,
but you'll get a better opportunity.
At your age, I was a taxi driver.
Now, I make over half a million a year.
But you still don't give tips.
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
When we see that they exist,
but no one acknowledges them.
We see smart people
who can be an added value
choosing the private sector
instead of working for the government,
-let alone charity organizations.
-Indeed.
Your charity contributes
to almost every cause.
But caring for orphans
is your main focus. Why is that?
Listen. There's a side to my life
that only those closest to me know,
and I think you know it too.
I grew up without a mother or a father.
So I took an oath not to leave
any orphans in this country.
-I'll ask you a question…
-I love her so much.
Do you get subsidies from the government?
And what kind of subsidies?
-Is it direct financing…
-Stand in line.
Hottie!
Are you crazy?
-Are you hitting on my mother?
-Your mother?
She's a mother to all of us.
She was my warranter.
Without Allah and then her,
you, me, and this place would not exist.
When will you pay me?
I haven't been paid for three months.
-Get the orders for delivery.
-Fine!
Order 41 is ready. No peanuts.
Speaking of money,
did we pay Zakat this year or not?
Are you serious? Zakat?
And reduce our profit to feed some losers?
-So what do you spend the money on?
-I invested in the campaign.
It's great, but the colors
are not vibrant enough.
Why don't you ask the agency
to add some red?
Some strawberry or red berry color.
Reprint it? No, dude.
It would cost a fortune.
Mother of the orphans!
But you paid in advance, by card.
This is yours.
A small part of the debt we owe you.
Come on, little one. Go on.
Hungry mouths await you.
MASAMEER COUNTY
You haven't smiled like this
in five months.
Trad, can you believe that I think
my luck has started to change?
Hello?
-What did you do, boy?
-What did I do?
-You've caused a problem, damn you!
-How?
-You delivered the wrong order.
-What order?
-The client is on the phone with me.
-What should I do?
I ordered Suicidal Peanuts doughnuts.
With a lot of extra peanuts.
But you brought me doughnuts
as empty as your head, you dumbass!
-You're the dumbass!
-Watch your tongue, scumbag!
-What?
-Not you, brother. Our employee.
I couldn't care less about your employees'
problems and policies.
Get me my order!
Saltouh, I swear
if I see you in the bakery again,
I will break your skull!
Fuck you and your bakery!
What's wrong, dude?
I just lost my job.
It's for your own good, Saltouh.
You didn't like that job anyway.
I wanted to join the army
and become an officer.
It's your nose.
We talked about this already.
Your nose is big and makes
an easy target for the enemy.
At least I earned 500 riyals.
Plus one riyal today.
Awesome. Perfect.
Saltouh, it's Tuesday. Pay your rent.
Heart attack?
I don't know.
Where is Daghos?
On his way.
Cover up the body. He's too soft
and won't be able to take it.
Unbelievable. May her soul rest in peace.
Thug 1, check the CCTV recordings.
Thug 2, where's Talal?
Behind you.
Talal? Come here, brother.
Talal, what happened?
I don't know. I was in the bathroom
and when I got out,
I saw her like that.
I don't know what happened.
-Do you still have diarrhea?
-Since last week.
God help you!
So the concoction I made you didn't work?
-It's my fault.
-Come on, dude. It was her time.
-It's my fault.
-Talal, listen to me. Calm down.
If you'd been with her
and not in the bathroom,
and it was her time to die,
she'd have died, right?
-Yes.
-So what are you good for then?
Tell me, what are you good for?
Stop it. What's wrong with you?
Show some respect for the dead.
Why so anxious?
Are you having a panic attack
just because there's a gun in your mouth?
Unbelievable, Talal.
We told you to see a therapist.
Why are you afraid of me?
Don't you know me?
Yes, I know you very well.
And you know I like honesty.
-You hated her, didn't you?
-I loved her as if she were my own mother.
Then follow her.
Where are you?
Stop that noise.
Good evening.
Hungry Butterfly!
I recommended it to Mother Lapis.
It's full of peanuts. That's too much.
Restaurants are good when they first open,
then they become garbage.
Mother Lapis is dead.
Liar.
Talal.
What-- What happened?
Mother Lapis?
Oh! No! Wha-- How--
How did this happen?
She ate one of those doughnuts.
Goddamn you! Are you trying to poison me?
How long have you known Mother Lapis?
Since 2003 or 2004.
Since 2001.
You've worked with her since 2001,
and you didn't know
that peanuts could kill her?
Thug 2, did you know she was allergic?
Neither one of you knew.
But do you know who knew?
Who's that?
That's Mother Lapis's killer.
He delivered my order two hours ago.
Did he say anything?
Each person will get what they deserve.
"Each person will get what they deserve."
And what did you say to him?
I launder half a million riyals a year.
I didn't say anything.
I paid him and he left.
So he knows where our paperwork is.
You know what to do.
Only a smart man will achieve glory.
Okay. He'll be there within an hour.
Good news.
I pulled some strings for the idiot.
With the military?
Do you promise?
Please wake him up quietly.
He didn't sleep well last night.
If only the military would take me in
Courage will not be defeated
Saltouh.
Susu. Wake up, honey.
-Saad?
-We got you a job.
Okay, bro. Get out.
I'm not wearing underpants.
It's okay. Me neither.
Good luck, Abu Dakheel Allah.
You will get what you deserve.
Brothers, before you drop me off,
I want to return this riyal I stole.
You'll waste our time for one riyal?
I want a blank slate.
It must be done for good luck.
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
Where is he?
Why are you asking?
We have some unfinished business.
What business?
None of your business.
And our employees' business
is none of your business. Get out.
CLOSED - OPEN
OPEN - CLOSED
Get me a pistachio cake.
Get me a knife.
Have a seat. Relax.
I'm so embarrassed about all of this.
I didn't want things to get this far.
But you insisted.
I had an employee. His name was Zeek.
He used to be my driver.
He came from a country ravaged by war,
hunger, diseases, and other atrocities.
And despite all that,
every morning he'd wake up,
wash the car, water the plants.
Why?
He was driven by fear
and motivated by hope.
Pretty much like you now.
If you weren't scared,
would you have brought me this knife
and hoped that I'd use it to cut the cake?
Nothing can get people to cooperate
as efficiently as leaving them hanging
between fear and hope.
Let's try again, shall we?
What's his name and where is he?
Saltouh Bin Dakheel Allah.
Phone number?
05…
670999…
What happened to your driver?
He died of cancer.
BUY FIVE DOUGHNUTS,
GET A FREE COFFEE!
No, please. I have kids.
Don't you worry. I work in an orphanage.
Hurry. Don't make us wait.
PAPA SMURF CALLING
-Yeah.
-How are things going?
All good. I got all our stuff.
Good. Wait for us. We're coming.
Excuse me, sir.
Are you running late?
What do you want?
Nothing. If you're running late,
then this conversation is pointless.
But if you aren't running late,
you left your headlights on.
Let's take the stairs.
Are you done?
No one answered.
We'll come back in the afternoon.
It's just a riyal.
His life doesn't depend on it.
PAPA SMURF CALLING
Thug 1.
Send Saltouh's number to the boys.
I want his location.
MY UNDERPANTS
I don't want to scare you.
At the same time,
I want you to stay alert.
We're in charge of providing 70 percent
of Riyadh's underpants needs.
Know what will happen if My Underpants
closes for an eyeblink?
-No, sir!
-People will walk naked in the streets.
You know who walks the streets naked,
security guy?
-No, sir!
-Gays! Are you gay, security guy?
-No, sir!
-That's what I thought.
This is a great day.
We must not have a repeat of 2002.
TERRORISM STRIKES AGAIN
That year, we launched
rainbow underpants for the first time.
ISIS didn't like it,
so they wired My Underpants
and blew it up.
But today, let someone dare
come close to My Underpants.
Today, we're auctioning off
Saeed Al-Owairan's underpants.
The ones he wore when he scored against
Belgium in the 1994 World Cup in USA.
150 percent cotton.
How can they be 150 percent cotton?
You think history is made by people
wearing polyester, security guy?
No, sir!
Go on now.
People's bottoms depend on you.
Literally.
So you tricked him by saying
he'd work with the army,
but he's a security officer?
Saad, they all wear uniforms
and protect premises.
The only difference is that
security officers have low self-esteem.
Our job is to improve
Abu Dakheel Allah's self-esteem.
What are you thinking?
Goddamn you! Want to get us in trouble?
It's a water gun, you idiot!
We'll attack them, pretend to be thieves
and have Saltouh take us in.
That way, we'll have given him
the best day of his miserable career.
What will you tell the police
when they come to take us in?
Who cares? They'll figure out
we were pulling a prank.
We spend a night in jail and get out.
A small price for our friend's happiness.
This is the dumbest idea I've ever heard.
Listen, you enemy of success.
You envy me and extort me, and I let you.
But one day, you'll make me lose my faith.
You think I'll be godless
and remain faithless?
No. I'll create my own faith
and call it "Damn Saad Ghannam."
Then I'll preach it
and dig wells in Africa and Asia.
I'll gather followers under the banner
of "Target Abu Ghannam and Go to Heaven".
Then I'll come back as the false messiah
with followers from all around the world,
Indonesians, Pakistanis, Africans, Turks…
They'll all want my so-called heaven.
They'll destroy you and I'll watch them.
It'll be a great day.
Stay in the car.
We can't leave anything to chance.
We're dealing with a professional
who knows what he's doing.
Headlights off.
SECOND HAND UNDERPANTS DEPARTMEN
Hello.
Hello. Who is it?
Drop the act. Speak normally.
Okay.
We've figured out why you pretended
to be a delivery boy.
But to work as a security officer
in an underpants store… What's the deal?
I'm expecting a bigger job.
And why did you do it all?
Nothing. Having fun. Killing time.
God will guide my way to success.
Are you threatening me?
Who are you for me to threaten you?
Fuck off. I'm busy.
Act normally.
Don't move.
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi?
Send my regards to Abu Lahab.
But he'll recognize you, you dog,
even with a million masks.
You talk too much.
Stay here and eat your ice cream.
I'll go and bring glory to our friend.
Water gun. It's just a water gun.
You fucker!
A security officer in an underpants store?
You almost made it. Almost.
Freeze! Don't move. Put your gun down.
BREAKING NEWS
MOTHER LAPIS DEAD, IMPLICATED
IN CHILD TRAFFICKING NETWORK
Unbelievable!
This experience has taught me
a great deal about life.
Never judge a book by its cover.
A ten-year-old child knows that.
You know that the bible
for my faith is in print, right?
You only have stupid ideas.
No need to be embarrassed.
Saltouh, did you learn anything
from this experience?
Yes, I learned an amazing lesson.
Well done. Do tell, champ!
I learned that dirty money
might save your life one day.
Goddamn you!
MASAMEER COUNTY
Subtitle translation by:
Muriel Daou
THIS PROGRAM IS NOT FOR CHILDREN
IT IS A WORK OF FICTION BASED ON REALITY
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
Thirty-five riyals.
Wait a sec. I'll go get my wallet.
Here you go. I'm sorry.
I don't have any change for tips.
Every person will get what they deserve.
-Are you Saudi?
-That's none of your business.
What's wrong, dude?
I know you don't like your job,
but you'll get a better opportunity.
At your age, I was a taxi driver.
Now, I make over half a million a year.
But you still don't give tips.
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
When we see that they exist,
but no one acknowledges them.
We see smart people
who can be an added value
choosing the private sector
instead of working for the government,
-let alone charity organizations.
-Indeed.
Your charity contributes
to almost every cause.
But caring for orphans
is your main focus. Why is that?
Listen. There's a side to my life
that only those closest to me know,
and I think you know it too.
I grew up without a mother or a father.
So I took an oath not to leave
any orphans in this country.
-I'll ask you a question…
-I love her so much.
Do you get subsidies from the government?
And what kind of subsidies?
-Is it direct financing…
-Stand in line.
Hottie!
Are you crazy?
-Are you hitting on my mother?
-Your mother?
She's a mother to all of us.
She was my warranter.
Without Allah and then her,
you, me, and this place would not exist.
When will you pay me?
I haven't been paid for three months.
-Get the orders for delivery.
-Fine!
Order 41 is ready. No peanuts.
Speaking of money,
did we pay Zakat this year or not?
Are you serious? Zakat?
And reduce our profit to feed some losers?
-So what do you spend the money on?
-I invested in the campaign.
It's great, but the colors
are not vibrant enough.
Why don't you ask the agency
to add some red?
Some strawberry or red berry color.
Reprint it? No, dude.
It would cost a fortune.
Mother of the orphans!
But you paid in advance, by card.
This is yours.
A small part of the debt we owe you.
Come on, little one. Go on.
Hungry mouths await you.
MASAMEER COUNTY
You haven't smiled like this
in five months.
Trad, can you believe that I think
my luck has started to change?
Hello?
-What did you do, boy?
-What did I do?
-You've caused a problem, damn you!
-How?
-You delivered the wrong order.
-What order?
-The client is on the phone with me.
-What should I do?
I ordered Suicidal Peanuts doughnuts.
With a lot of extra peanuts.
But you brought me doughnuts
as empty as your head, you dumbass!
-You're the dumbass!
-Watch your tongue, scumbag!
-What?
-Not you, brother. Our employee.
I couldn't care less about your employees'
problems and policies.
Get me my order!
Saltouh, I swear
if I see you in the bakery again,
I will break your skull!
Fuck you and your bakery!
What's wrong, dude?
I just lost my job.
It's for your own good, Saltouh.
You didn't like that job anyway.
I wanted to join the army
and become an officer.
It's your nose.
We talked about this already.
Your nose is big and makes
an easy target for the enemy.
At least I earned 500 riyals.
Plus one riyal today.
Awesome. Perfect.
Saltouh, it's Tuesday. Pay your rent.
Heart attack?
I don't know.
Where is Daghos?
On his way.
Cover up the body. He's too soft
and won't be able to take it.
Unbelievable. May her soul rest in peace.
Thug 1, check the CCTV recordings.
Thug 2, where's Talal?
Behind you.
Talal? Come here, brother.
Talal, what happened?
I don't know. I was in the bathroom
and when I got out,
I saw her like that.
I don't know what happened.
-Do you still have diarrhea?
-Since last week.
God help you!
So the concoction I made you didn't work?
-It's my fault.
-Come on, dude. It was her time.
-It's my fault.
-Talal, listen to me. Calm down.
If you'd been with her
and not in the bathroom,
and it was her time to die,
she'd have died, right?
-Yes.
-So what are you good for then?
Tell me, what are you good for?
Stop it. What's wrong with you?
Show some respect for the dead.
Why so anxious?
Are you having a panic attack
just because there's a gun in your mouth?
Unbelievable, Talal.
We told you to see a therapist.
Why are you afraid of me?
Don't you know me?
Yes, I know you very well.
And you know I like honesty.
-You hated her, didn't you?
-I loved her as if she were my own mother.
Then follow her.
Where are you?
Stop that noise.
Good evening.
Hungry Butterfly!
I recommended it to Mother Lapis.
It's full of peanuts. That's too much.
Restaurants are good when they first open,
then they become garbage.
Mother Lapis is dead.
Liar.
Talal.
What-- What happened?
Mother Lapis?
Oh! No! Wha-- How--
How did this happen?
She ate one of those doughnuts.
Goddamn you! Are you trying to poison me?
How long have you known Mother Lapis?
Since 2003 or 2004.
Since 2001.
You've worked with her since 2001,
and you didn't know
that peanuts could kill her?
Thug 2, did you know she was allergic?
Neither one of you knew.
But do you know who knew?
Who's that?
That's Mother Lapis's killer.
He delivered my order two hours ago.
Did he say anything?
Each person will get what they deserve.
"Each person will get what they deserve."
And what did you say to him?
I launder half a million riyals a year.
I didn't say anything.
I paid him and he left.
So he knows where our paperwork is.
You know what to do.
Only a smart man will achieve glory.
Okay. He'll be there within an hour.
Good news.
I pulled some strings for the idiot.
With the military?
Do you promise?
Please wake him up quietly.
He didn't sleep well last night.
If only the military would take me in
Courage will not be defeated
Saltouh.
Susu. Wake up, honey.
-Saad?
-We got you a job.
Okay, bro. Get out.
I'm not wearing underpants.
It's okay. Me neither.
Good luck, Abu Dakheel Allah.
You will get what you deserve.
Brothers, before you drop me off,
I want to return this riyal I stole.
You'll waste our time for one riyal?
I want a blank slate.
It must be done for good luck.
HUNGRY BUTTERFLY BAKERY
Where is he?
Why are you asking?
We have some unfinished business.
What business?
None of your business.
And our employees' business
is none of your business. Get out.
CLOSED - OPEN
OPEN - CLOSED
Get me a pistachio cake.
Get me a knife.
Have a seat. Relax.
I'm so embarrassed about all of this.
I didn't want things to get this far.
But you insisted.
I had an employee. His name was Zeek.
He used to be my driver.
He came from a country ravaged by war,
hunger, diseases, and other atrocities.
And despite all that,
every morning he'd wake up,
wash the car, water the plants.
Why?
He was driven by fear
and motivated by hope.
Pretty much like you now.
If you weren't scared,
would you have brought me this knife
and hoped that I'd use it to cut the cake?
Nothing can get people to cooperate
as efficiently as leaving them hanging
between fear and hope.
Let's try again, shall we?
What's his name and where is he?
Saltouh Bin Dakheel Allah.
Phone number?
05…
670999…
What happened to your driver?
He died of cancer.
BUY FIVE DOUGHNUTS,
GET A FREE COFFEE!
No, please. I have kids.
Don't you worry. I work in an orphanage.
Hurry. Don't make us wait.
PAPA SMURF CALLING
-Yeah.
-How are things going?
All good. I got all our stuff.
Good. Wait for us. We're coming.
Excuse me, sir.
Are you running late?
What do you want?
Nothing. If you're running late,
then this conversation is pointless.
But if you aren't running late,
you left your headlights on.
Let's take the stairs.
Are you done?
No one answered.
We'll come back in the afternoon.
It's just a riyal.
His life doesn't depend on it.
PAPA SMURF CALLING
Thug 1.
Send Saltouh's number to the boys.
I want his location.
MY UNDERPANTS
I don't want to scare you.
At the same time,
I want you to stay alert.
We're in charge of providing 70 percent
of Riyadh's underpants needs.
Know what will happen if My Underpants
closes for an eyeblink?
-No, sir!
-People will walk naked in the streets.
You know who walks the streets naked,
security guy?
-No, sir!
-Gays! Are you gay, security guy?
-No, sir!
-That's what I thought.
This is a great day.
We must not have a repeat of 2002.
TERRORISM STRIKES AGAIN
That year, we launched
rainbow underpants for the first time.
ISIS didn't like it,
so they wired My Underpants
and blew it up.
But today, let someone dare
come close to My Underpants.
Today, we're auctioning off
Saeed Al-Owairan's underpants.
The ones he wore when he scored against
Belgium in the 1994 World Cup in USA.
150 percent cotton.
How can they be 150 percent cotton?
You think history is made by people
wearing polyester, security guy?
No, sir!
Go on now.
People's bottoms depend on you.
Literally.
So you tricked him by saying
he'd work with the army,
but he's a security officer?
Saad, they all wear uniforms
and protect premises.
The only difference is that
security officers have low self-esteem.
Our job is to improve
Abu Dakheel Allah's self-esteem.
What are you thinking?
Goddamn you! Want to get us in trouble?
It's a water gun, you idiot!
We'll attack them, pretend to be thieves
and have Saltouh take us in.
That way, we'll have given him
the best day of his miserable career.
What will you tell the police
when they come to take us in?
Who cares? They'll figure out
we were pulling a prank.
We spend a night in jail and get out.
A small price for our friend's happiness.
This is the dumbest idea I've ever heard.
Listen, you enemy of success.
You envy me and extort me, and I let you.
But one day, you'll make me lose my faith.
You think I'll be godless
and remain faithless?
No. I'll create my own faith
and call it "Damn Saad Ghannam."
Then I'll preach it
and dig wells in Africa and Asia.
I'll gather followers under the banner
of "Target Abu Ghannam and Go to Heaven".
Then I'll come back as the false messiah
with followers from all around the world,
Indonesians, Pakistanis, Africans, Turks…
They'll all want my so-called heaven.
They'll destroy you and I'll watch them.
It'll be a great day.
Stay in the car.
We can't leave anything to chance.
We're dealing with a professional
who knows what he's doing.
Headlights off.
SECOND HAND UNDERPANTS DEPARTMEN
Hello.
Hello. Who is it?
Drop the act. Speak normally.
Okay.
We've figured out why you pretended
to be a delivery boy.
But to work as a security officer
in an underpants store… What's the deal?
I'm expecting a bigger job.
And why did you do it all?
Nothing. Having fun. Killing time.
God will guide my way to success.
Are you threatening me?
Who are you for me to threaten you?
Fuck off. I'm busy.
Act normally.
Don't move.
Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi?
Send my regards to Abu Lahab.
But he'll recognize you, you dog,
even with a million masks.
You talk too much.
Stay here and eat your ice cream.
I'll go and bring glory to our friend.
Water gun. It's just a water gun.
You fucker!
A security officer in an underpants store?
You almost made it. Almost.
Freeze! Don't move. Put your gun down.
BREAKING NEWS
MOTHER LAPIS DEAD, IMPLICATED
IN CHILD TRAFFICKING NETWORK
Unbelievable!
This experience has taught me
a great deal about life.
Never judge a book by its cover.
A ten-year-old child knows that.
You know that the bible
for my faith is in print, right?
You only have stupid ideas.
No need to be embarrassed.
Saltouh, did you learn anything
from this experience?
Yes, I learned an amazing lesson.
Well done. Do tell, champ!
I learned that dirty money
might save your life one day.
Goddamn you!
MASAMEER COUNTY
Subtitle translation by:
Muriel Daou