Mighty Max (1993) s01e03 Episode Script

1
- Snakes and Laddies -
(Grunts)
(Grunts)
Class, class, it's
really very simple.
As you wander
through the museum,
I want you to answer the
question, on the study sheet.
Remember, you'll
be working in pairs,
exploring the past and probing
the very entrails of history.
Hey Max, where
are you going? Me?
I'm aiming to do my probing with Jiffie.
- Jiffie? But I thought we were
Oh, fine.
- Don't worry, Bea.
Jiffie's just another
of Max's infatuations.
He'll get over it as
soon as she dumps him.
Hey Jiffie! Oh wow,
I've never been so olive-clothes and
personal with real-life history before.
How edifying.
Yeah, it is Yeah,
You like history?
Because I'm an expert.
Whoa, would you look at that?
Just an ordinary Egyptian
cereal bowl, right?
Oh no, actually, it's
way more than that.
It's really sort of a
Drinking fountain? Max, you're such
a fooler.
Okay, class, time to bear up.
How is the fool or never
the fool? What am I saying?
Howard, you go with Jane.
Jimmy, Janice. Betty, Otis.
Excuse me, pardon me, move it.
Watch your toes. Incoming, watch it.
Joy, Heraclitus. Jiffie, Felix.
Felix? And Bea, Max.
- Max?!
Hey, hey, Felix, oh
good buddy, old pal.
What do you say we
do a little swapping, huh?
Come on, Felix. We've
got lots of studying to do.
Do you like taking notes? I do.
Felix, come back! Felix!
Oh man, this
really bites big time.
Like I'm second prize here?
(Imitating Jiffie) "Come on, Maxie,
We've got lots of studying to do."
Ah, Poor Jiffie,
alone with Felix.
Same thing, really.
Max, look at this.
Egyptian hieroglyphics used
objects to represent words and sounds
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I
got a book on it back home.
I wonder what Jiffie's
name would look like,
huh? A flower? A
butterfly? No, no, a goddess.
The symbols for your name,
Maxwell, must be the same as chump!
Look, there goes Jiffie.
You say Jiffie one more
time and I'll break your jaw.
Oh, excuse me.
Maybe we're just a
little bit jealous, is that it?
Ha ha, Jealous of
Jiffie? Over you?
Keep dreaming boy! not if
you were the last guy on Earth,
or the galaxy, or the
universe, or the cosmos.
Jiffie!
Or even beyond that,
in other dimensions.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever.
Quick, climb in here, we'll surprise her.
Huh? Max, your cap!
Whoa?!
Come here
Must have been a portal
in that sarcophagus.
Where are we, Bea?
Max, you and your stupid cap!
Hey, come on, I just wear
it, I don't make it work.
Well, I guess the best thing to
do is look for the nearest portal.
Yeah, but that could
lead to anywhere.
We've got to get
back to the museum.
I mean, what if Felix tells Jiffie
something really embarrassing about me?
Wait a second, these
look like they are!
Hieroglyphics!
Just like the museums'!
Max, we must be in Egypt!
No! Rat, rat!
Where, where?
You know, that's
just like a girl.
You get all riled up about
nothing and send me into a panic.
I'll tell you, you wouldn't
catch Jiffie doing that.
You know why?
Because she is all woman.
She Wha!
And you are all brain
dead! It's just a skeleton!
I know that!
Some of my best
friends are skeletons!
Yo, bones, what up?
Too much fiber, bud.
(Both scream)
(Grunts)
Really, is that any way
to greet uninvited guests?
Careful. Maybe more greetings.
Whoa! What a
setup! Check it out!
I mean, all it's missing
is a wide screen TV.
Hey, what is that?
Cool! I mean hot!
Anyhow, it's beautiful.
Hmm, no price tag.
I wonder where this leads?
Huh? One way to find out.
Maybe I can't
bring Jiffie to Egypt,
but I can sure bring a
piece of Egypt to Jiffie.
What's going on?
A band and hope
curse an interloper.
Slow death awaits all who
user the Ankh of Power.
I don't like the
sound of that, Max.
Bea, Look out! There's three hideous
figures and black robes behind me.
How'd you know?
- Lucky guess.
Time to panic!
Trapped! I guess I've
seen the last of Jiffie.
Guess I've seen
the last of me, too.
Meh, Jiffie should be so lucky.
Hey, what's that? English?
Let's see. Greetings, Mighty Max. If you
are reading this, you must be in trouble.
Take the portal of Paris where
you'll find further instructions. Virgil!
Virgil! How did he do this?
And what portal?! Bea what's
Alright, that's everyone.
Hold it!
Oh, where are Max and Bea?
Where have you two been?
Oh, never mind.
Your study sheets?
I think mine's in Africa.
A French dog ate mine?
Right. Demerits
for the both of you.
Some museum trip. Not
only do we almost get killed,
but all we get for our
trouble is a demerit!
He, he. Speak for yourself.
Oh, baby Jiffie is going
to love me for this?
And my math book? I love
word problems, don't you?
My favorite's on page 37.
If Farmer Watley has seven cows,
three ducks, five
goats, then Max?
The worst?
- Felix, forget him hot stuff.
Look what I've got for you.
It's a lucky study charm!
Yeah, and I got it at
the museum gift shop.
Sort of, for you.
It's beautiful. I don't
know what to say.
That's okay. You don't
have to say a thing.
I mean, you can if you want. I'm not
saying that you can't, obviously you can.
But if you don't want to say anything,
I can you know, can I say it for you?
What's Jiffie got that I don't?
I don't know. She's
just Jiffie, I guess.
(Sigh) What do you think?
Should I or shouldn't I?
I mean, maybe she's
waiting for me to call, right?
Maybe she's calling me.
Maybe she's on
her way over. Jiffie?
Oh, maybe she didn't like
the necklace I gave her.
Maybe I ought to just call her.
It's hopeless. He's
convinced he and Jiffie
go together like potato
chips and ice cream.
Poor deluded Max.
Only way Jiffie would go for
him is if he turned into a textbook.
Hello?
- Jiffie? Hi, it's Max.
Oh, Max! I'm so glad you called.
I've got a test tomorrow.
Really? Need me
to help you study?
No. I need someone to
tell all these strange people
in black robes under my
window to go away so I can study.
Go forth on the bridge of the
Farthest Five loyal minions.
Ready to meet the Ankh of Power!
Jiffie's in danger.
Sounds like those guys
in Egypt are after her.
Oh, this is great! I'll be her
hero forever after I rescue her!
Rescue? Max, you're
letting your fixation on Jiffie,
cloud, but little
good sense you have.
Remember this morning?
Yeah, but that was then, but now
with a little help from my friends.
That mean us.
- Afraid so.
Would you guys go
away? I'm Trying to study!
Whoa, what's that?
Where could I get one?
It looks like some sort of
inter spatial travel thingy.
That must be how they got
here so quickly from Egypt.
Yo, never mind that now. We got
some bad guys to pedal into submission.
Ha! It's working perfectly!
Wow! It always works on TV.
I can't believe I'm doing
this all for the sake of Jiffie.
Or is it Max? Oh, that boy!
My book! My book!
My cover! It's ruined!
Take that! And that! And this!
Ugh! Snake eyes!
Easy to see why they wear cloaks.
Yes! Alright, we beat 'em!
Oh man, I'm gonna
be Jiffie's hero for life!
Ah! Help! Help! I'm being
kidnapped by Snakes!
Then again, she
would never forgive me.
Come on you guys!
Jiffie's been kidnapped!
And those snake dudes are
probably slobbering on her already.
Be right with you
after I lock up my bike
Max, this is crazy!
Not to mention insane!
No! All we gotta do is go
through the portal in the museum,
rescue Jiffie from the
ugly snake-headed dudes,
and come back so I can be the idol of
her adoring eyes! It won't be that hard!
Hello there! Planning a museum visit?
Sure am. And it's a
matter of life and death!
Well, my condolences.
We just closed.
Everything in here is
dead already anyhow.
Yeah, look, Mac, here's
a buck. A whole dollar.
Now you go buy the little woman
a bubble and step aside, okay?
Come on guys!
Now here it is! We're closed!
Scram! Beat it! Away with you!
Look man, you don't understand!
Something terrible has happened
to the girl I love! I gotta get in!
Give me a break, Max!
You don't love Jiffie! You
don't even know what love is!
I do too love Jiffie! I do!
And I do anything for her!
Hold on, son! Them's mighty
big words to be bantering about!
What do you know
about this girl?
Can she cook? Is she
astrologically compatible?
Well, we'll never find out
as long as you are in the way!
What the f Oh!
Come on, Max! Now's our chance!
Hey you! Hold! Hold
her! I'll scream for help!
Help!
Gotcha!
I noticed.
What about my test?
If I get a C, you
guys are responsible!
She's still wearing the
necklace I gave her!
Oh, what a babe!
Max, that necklace is probably
what attracted them to her!
Oh, looks like she's
in for it! And so are we!
Who are you? What do you want?
I have your dripping
slime on the floor!
I am Venom, Apostle of Apophis,
rightful conquering of the world,
last of the Supreme Pharaohs!
Supreme Pharaohs? Isn't
that a Seattle grunge band?
How you doing, bud? Mighty
Max is the name. This here's Bea.
Hey, I gotta tell you, that
was one sharp entrance.
Max!
Silence! You dare interrupt
the sacred rites of renewal
that kept me alive
over 3,000 years!
No kidding. He doesn't
look a day over 2,000.
Mark me full! But after I
absorb the combined life force
sucked out of your bodies
by the Ankh of Power,
no less than Apophis
himself will honor me!
Soon, I and I alone will be
master of cosmic destiny!
What a deal! See,
Venom, can I call you Ven?
Ven, you think this
Apophis dude could arrange
to get me a driver's
license before I'm 60?
Max, if you ever
expect to study with me,
you better get me out of here!
This whole mess is your fault!
The time is now.
With the first rays of
moonlight, the Ankh will gander!
Can someone take
this necklace off me?
Burning a hole in
my new sweater!
You'll suffer only a
moment, my dear.
Then die. A pity, but
it is my immortality.
Man, I gotta do something.
I gotta wait. That's it!
Oh, great Apophis, for this
life force I am about to receive,
may I serve you unto eternity!
Ahh!
My cue. Excuse me!
Hey, cool! Special effects!
Yo, Ven, what's the gimmick?
Huh? Ah! No!
You've disrupted
the celestial timing!
Do you realize what you've done?
Spoiled your moon tan?
Come on, Jiffie!
Field trip's over!
Fools! After them!
I must have the Ankh!
Way to go, Max! You
rescued Jiffie just like you said!
Wait, what about me?
I'll take care of you.
Ah! Max!
Huh? Bea!
Okay, hold it right there,
you legless reptiles!
Now, Ven, what do you say
we swap Bea for the necklace?
Straight up!
- Max, you gave that necklace to me!
Very well! I accept!
Provided you
deliver the Ankh first!
Done! I got no
problem with that.
Can't say the same
for your guys. Catch!
The Ankh of Power! I must
have it! I must! I Ah.!
Max! Better take this before
Snake Boy here burns himself again!
Hey, hate to leave so early, guys, but,
uh, hey, we got a portal to catch. Later!
Curse them, they escaped!
No matter. They won't get far.
Overly nice of you to
comeback and rescue me, Max!
Hey, well, Ah, Bea.
I can't believe I
almost left without you.
I feel so bad.
Oh, Max, you do care about me.
Would you two come on? I still
have my spelling homework to do.
O', great Apophis, here, my
plea, I would do your bidding.
Who disturbs Apophis?
It is I, Venom your servant.
I beseech you, o' great one,
unleash the instrument of my revenge on
those who would usurp the Ankh of Power!
Very well.
Come, creature of evil,
thy masters will be done.
Vengeance shall be mine!
What's that?
I'm not waiting to find out.
Come on, let's get to a portal and bail!
There! Get them! Kill them! Now!
They're coming!
They're right behind us!
Here they come!
They're almost here!
Quick! Up the pyramid!
It's not over yet!
Oh, what are we gonna do?
There's only one thing to do,
settle this once and
for all, man-o a snake-o!
Where's Norman
when you need him?
Max! You don't have
to do this to impress me!
I'm not!
Oh, I get it. Still
trying to impress Jiffie?
Jiffie, Shmiffy, hold
this, would you?
At last, you're mine!
Yeah? And you're ugly!
Max! No!
- Max, are you alright?
Oh man, so much
for the macho heroics.
Anyone get the
license off that snake?
Alright, Venom! I've had
enough of this fooling around!
You get your scaly snake
over here and we'll finish it!
Serves you right for stealing that necklace
from poor Mr. Venom in the first place!
Oh, Jiffie, would you?
Of course! The necklace!
Prepare to meet your end!
Oh yeah, we'll eat Ankh!
Move it guys! She's gonna blow!
Poor snake! If only we
could have reasoned with him!
Don't worry, son. Reform
schools, what you make of it.
Who knows, maybe
you'll like it. I sure did.
Yahoo! We made it
back to the museum!
You? How did you?
Just don't try to figure it out,
okay buddy? Have a croissant!
Lucky thing we found
our study sheets, too.
Maybe we can still
get that demerit erased.
Well, goodie for you.
What about my study needs?
Like my test tomorrow
and my ruined book cover
and my science report with
about next week's homework.
And the SATs, you know,
they're coming up in only six years!
Oh man, now I got
no one to study with!
But Max, you never
have to study anyways!
Guess I spent too much time
fooling around with my friends, huh?
Hey, that's what
friends are for!
Not bad!
This week we went to Giza, Egypt
and the Great Pyramid of Cheops.
I bet you didn't know the pyramid
was built nearly 5,000 years ago.
It's made of over two
and a half million giant stones.
And if you wanted to,
you could use it to build
a ten-foot wall around
the boundaries of France.
In which case, you'd have
the Great Wall of Cheops.
Nespac?
See you next week!