Mistresses (2008) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
We have the results of your semen analysis,Hari.
I'm afraid they weren't quite what we were hoping for.
The tests show there's very little live sperm in your ejaculate.
So we can't get pregnant? 'Don't you think it's a bit weird? ' He appears in your life,Mr Keen,the very day you get your cheque.
That would be the only reason someone would ask me out,would it? I'm so sorry.
When he knew he was dying,he didn't want me there.
He wanted her there.
I need you to tell me if it was you.
It wasn't me.
'I had sex with a man that wasn't Hari.
' 'And do you want it to happen again? ' 'No,it was once,that's it.
'- anyone here ever kissed a girl? 'Ah,don't tell me you're going all lesbian? ' 'No! Look,I'mjust curious.
' Who takes care of you,Katie? Who makes you feel better? Cos I'd do that for you.
I'm going to take your silence as encouragement.
proudly presents MISTUESSES Season01 Episode203 Oh,OK.
Bags,bags.
Give Gina her bag,darling,OK? - Bye.
Bye.
- I love you.
Bye.
0h.
What's your excuse? Ah.
Lost school shoe and row over teeth brushing.
Yours? Ah,spilt cornflakes and forgotten homework.
Um.
Listen,Ithought I might pop round this afternoon, be nice to spend some quality alone time together.
Yeah.
Great.
Unless you're busy? No,no,no That sounds great.
OK.
So I'll see you around one? - Yeah.
- Lovely.
- See ya.
- Right.
Goodbye.
What can I get you? Can I get a coffee? Hon,aren't you going to get up? I'm not in till four.
It's a lovely day outside.
You could sit in the garden.
I'm infertile,not an invalid.
So he said it would be good to spend some 'quality alone time' together.
What does that mean? Do you think he means sex? Well,possibly,but that's not a bad thing,is it? Yes,I'm enormous! No,my bum actually wobbles when I walk.
0h God,I can't possibly get naked in front of him.
I've got to lose a stone by lunchtime.
Do you think those instant inch loss wrap things work? I'm sorry.
Are you OK? 0h,maybe I shouldn't be talking about this.
Um,I saw Sam yesterday evening.
And,er,and he kissed me.
Well,we kissed actually.
Twice.
Wait.
I've got a horrible feeling that you're not joking.
Look.
It's not how it sounds.
This isn'tjust about john.
I like him,Trudi.
I really like him.
He makes me feel happy,he make me feel better.
Yeah.
Until he finds out you were sleeping with his dad! Katie,you know what's at stake if it gets out about john.
Sam could ruin you.
Look,I know that grief can make us do,well,crazy things.
I mean,I bought that horrible orange sofa,remember? But,darling,I want you to be happy but you can't get involved with Sam.
Even forgetting he's john's son,he's 24 and he's a vulnerable patient.
You know I'm right,don't you? - Katie? - Yes.
Yes.
You're right.
You're right,you're right.
There you go.
Yeah,it's hot.
- So,one skinny latte.
- Thanks.
Look,about last night.
I had a really great time but The thing is,I'm in love with Lisa and I'm getting married in two days, and I was worried that maybe What,that I might be out shopping for matching bathrobes? Well That maybe I gave you the wrong idea.
Alex.
You can chill.
It's fine.
Really.
What's a snog between friends? So you're OK,then? We can still Absolutely.
God,if I wasn't friends with anyone I'd ever snogged, I would be pretty lonely by now.
And I've only had a small tattoo of your name done.
I'm pretty sure it can be removed.
So now we've averted that crisis,more importantly, what are you doing for your hen night and am I invited? 0h,well.
You would be if I was doing anything.
Lisa's going out of town with some of her uni friends, and Ijust couldn't be bothered organising anything.
0n your hen night! There's no way am I letting you get away with that.
Come out with me.
0h,come on.
Look,I'll book us a nice restaurant or something, I'll put it on expenses.
Well,when you put it like that,OK.
Good.
So that's sorted.
- OK.
- Yeah? Look,I'd better get a shift on, because I'm meeting your florist.
But I'll call you,OK? OK.
You can give me a call whenever you need to.
So we'll see you in a couple of weeks.
See you next time.
Sam.
Hi.
Come on through.
Could you just give me one minute? This is very sweet of you,Sam.
But you can'tjust turn up here,especially not with flowers.
Don't you like them? That's not the point,is it? But yes,they're beautiful.
Thank you.
So are you.
0h,Sam.
You're amazing,you know that.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Ijust No.
You've got to stop it.
You can't.
Ijust I'm sorry.
Ijust can't.
Why not? Look,if you care about me,you won't push me on this,all right? We can still be friends.
OK.
I'm not saying I agree with it,but I understand.
Well,you'd better go.
I've got patients waiting.
Shall we meet tomorrow? You said we could still be friends.
OK.
OK.
Great.
I ll call you.
Try Try Try Try Try just a little bit harder So I can love,love,love him,Itell myself Well,I'm gonna try,yeah, just a little bit harder You're early.
Is that OK? Yeah.
Maybe I should come round early more often.
I'm going to pop upstairs and put some clothes on.
- I haven't had a proper hello yet.
0h.
Er OK,I should get dressed.
Maybe you shouldn't bother.
Are you hurt? No.
Well,what's the bandages? Well,if you really must know it's a Instant Inch Loss Wrap.
It's for people who want to lose inches,instantly.
You don't need to lose weight.
You're perfect.
No.
I'm Look,even iflwas perfect,which I'm not.
I Well,I haven't been with anyone since Paul and, well if that's what you want,to You know Well,I'm sorry,I'm `ust not ready for Sex- It`s fine I'm not just I like you.
I really like you.
And if you want to wait,then that's fine by me.
OK,then.
Cup of tea? Yeah.
Lovely.
OK.
I can`t stop thinking about you.
Shouldn't we bring some papers with us next time? Pretend to be doing some research.
What do you mean? We have been doing research.
I don't think that going to help us with Carter v Carter.
What do you mean,intimate? I don't know.
It'sjust the way they were looking at each other, it was just,well,it was a bit intimate.
I'm sure it was nothing,Siobhan adores Hari.
Yeah,Katie's right.
It was probablyjust a colleague.
You know what it's like when you work with someone.
What,like you and your boss? 0h,Siobhan isn't jess.
What's that mean? You know exactly what I mean and don't even pretend to be offended.
Oh,no.
You won't say anything,will you? No.
OK.
There I was,like some kind of mummy.
He said,'Are you hurt? ' I mean,oh,God,he must have though that I'd been in some terrible accident.
Trudi,how many times,you are not fat.
I mean,if you actually had sex, you'd probably be a lot less anxious.
That easy for you to say now you're going all lesbian.
Women are more forgiving,right? 0h,right.
Because women never ever bitch about each other.
And having a crush on one woman hardly counts as 'going all lesbian'.
Actually,we had a snog.
- Ah! Did you? - Yeah.
And? It was hot.
Well,go on.
Well,she had a bit of a freak out and said we can't do it again.
But I think she'll come round.
Yeah.
I'll seduce her.
There's loads of men in prison who thought that.
Actually she's agreed to spend her hen night with me.
Well,I think you should leave the woman alone.
She's getting married.
What,and miss out my opportunity to do to a Camilla Parker Bowles at the wedding? All right,Trudi obviously disapproves of me.
What about you,Siobhan? She's the one promising to be faithful,not you.
Maybe she's unhappy and looking for a way out.
God knows,relationships can be trying at times.
Are things still difficult with Hari? Could say that.
But I don't want to talk about that right now.
Anybody else feel like some more wine? OK.
THE NEW LESBIAN SEX GUIDE Here you go,sir.
Have a nice day.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hey.
Hi.
Hiya.
Indulging your cookery book habit? Not exactly,no.
I used to buy books on pregnancy, now I'm in the same section buying books on IVF.
Siobhan told you,I suppose.
Yeah.
She did mention it.
You're going to be OK,you know.
It's funny,you know.
People always talk about 'us'.
How it's our problem.
But it isn't,is it? If Siobhan was with someone else,she'd be pregnant by now.
Well.
Maybe.
But she also wouldn't have had two years with a fantastic bloke she adores.
She loves you,Hari.
This isn't going to change that.
Really? So why do so many couples break up over this? Maybe they don't have what you and Siobhan have.
You've got a great marriage.
The only thing that's going to spoil that is if you shut her out.
She needs you as much as you need her.
just talk to her.
Mmm? Come on.
You've got to stay optimistic.
Come on.
DOMICIC:STOP DISTRACTING ME OBJECT TO UNFAIR ACCUSATION.
AM WORING NO YOU`RE NOT.
WE`RE ON THE ROOF TERRACE.
YOU STAND LOVELY WHEN YOU COME.
YOU`RE VERY BAD NO.
I`M VERY GOOD.
WANT TO BE REMINDED? ROOF TERRACE.
FIVE MINUTES? Hello? Hello? Paul? Paul,is this you? '01632960.
Katie? Katie.
0h,hi,Sam.
You all right? You were miles away.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Lunch.
Perfect,thanks.
It's a great addition.
We even have meetings up here sometimes.
You should see the view from round the corner,it's stunning.
Come,we really should get going.
Our table's booked for 1.
15.
OK? That was way too risky.
We have to go.
Come to my house this evening.
Siobhan,I need to be alone with you.
This is driving me crazy.
I've already been out twice this week.
OK.
So go home,have dinner.
Then say something's come up at the office, a client's drink,a work do.
Something like that.
I'll try.
I said I'll try.
It's the best I can do.
Go.
How do you know it's not somebody getting the wrong number? Well Look,I know you think I'm crazy,but I think it's Paul.
I think he wants me to know he's still alive.
So why don't you just ring it? I don't know,I'm scared.
What are you doing? What you should have done three hours ago.
It's a hotel,the Pemberley Inn.
I don't know why they bother,they always look so miserable.
It's good for you.
I can think of better ways to burn off calories.
What? I was wondering why someone like you is single.
ThE | 'E WAS SOMEONE O | 'ICE.
Someone I loved very much.
What happened? It didn't work out.
And now you're too scared to get close to anyone.
I really want to kiss you.
I've got to go.
What? Don't.
.
.
I've got to get back to the surgery.
THE PRMBERLEY INN HOTEL 0h,my God,I don't think I can do this.
What if I've been right all along? What if he's really alive? Well,then,the two of you have a lot to talk about.
God.
Do I look old? No,really.
I was looking in the mirror this morning and I thought my eyes were saggy.
If he'll think I look haggard.
.
.
I really want to know.
Trudi,you don't look a day over 21.
Now come on.
I can see how it might look,Rob, but it's all completely innocent.
Sam has been upset about the death of his father and I've been helping him.
The flowers were a thank you.
Yeah.
It'sjust I also noticed you having lunch in the square.
We bumped into each other.
I could hardly tell him to go away,could I? No,no.
0f course not.
But you have thought about taking him off your list recently.
Was that because he's got a crush on you? Um,I don't know.
Maybe.
.
.
But that's no reason to stop helping him,is it? Which is all I'm doing.
Yeah.
I don't doubt that.
All I'm saying is maybe your initial impulse was right,that's all.
I don't think it's necessary.
Katie.
I'm only saying this because you're a good friend as well as a colleague.
I'd hate for anyone to get the wrong impression.
I'm not saying you can't handle him, but there's no harm in being cautious now,is there? OK,fine.
Frankly,I could do with one less patient to worry about.
I'll,um I'll let him know.
He was my husband.
He was involved in the 9/I1 attacks.
Well,I still don't know whether he's alive.
And we're really desperate to find him.
There've been some phone calls made from this hotel and we think they might have been from him.
Sorry,no,I haven't seen him,but then I've been off a week.
This is the number that was called us.
Is there any way you could just tell us which room they came from? Please,we'd be really,really grateful.
Thank you.
This one.
OK? Yeah.
0h,hi there.
Sorry to bother you.
We've been getting some silent phone calls to our home and they've been coming from this room.
We think they might be connected to a missing person.
Paul Malloy? I'm sorry,I really don't know anything about 0h,yeah.
I think I know what's going on here.
It's my son,he's obsessed with the phone.
I'm always telling him not to play with it but you know what kids are like.
I'm really sorry.
No,no,no.
OK.
We're sorry to have disturbed you.
Thank you for your help.
Thanks.
OK.
I feel so stupid.
Don't be silly.
All this stuff with Paul,I have been imagining it,haven't I? He's dead,isn't he? You know,I think it's good that we came here.
Maybe now you can finally let go of him Get out there and start really enjoying life.
Yeah? Thank you.
FANCY A DRINK? SAM XXX 0h shit.
Hello,darling.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? I thought we could walk home together.
OK.
And I wanted to talk to you about something.
OK.
You're still sleeping with that guy,aren't you? Trudi said she saw you with him.
- Trudi said - Yeah.
Don't worry,I managed to convince her that you're not having an affair.
But you are,aren't you? You told me it was a one-off.
Look,I shouldn't have spoken to you about that.
And I don't want to talk about it.
Well,I do.
I'm worried about you.
I know that you and Hari are having your problems, but sleeping with somebody else is not the answer.
That's a bit rich coming from you.
Hey,I'm notjudging you,I'm just trying to help.
And I've told you that I don't want to talk about it.
Hi.
Can I have a large glass of dry white wine please? Thank you.
Thank you.
Are you stuck? Totally.
It'sjust a prop really,so I don't look like I have no friends.
Although this is bothering me now.
Holiday,getaway,six letters.
Escape.
That's nothing.
You should see me playing scissors,paper,stone.
I am virtually unbeatable.
I'm james.
jessica.
Hi.
Fly away,going out for another way A new day is dawning.
.
.
Hari WHAT ALL THIS? Well,it's the first anniversary of the first time I saw you, so I thought we should celebrate.
I thought that was next month.
That was the first time I spoke to you.
This is the first time that I saw you.
The fancy dress? That was today? 12 years ago.
I still can't believe you found me attractive in that ridiculous outfit.
Yeah.
you did look ridiculous.
but hey,at least I got to see your legs in fishnets.
So it was my legs you were after.
Yup,that and everything else about you.
I spent the whole evening wondering howl could pluck up the courage to talk to this amazing girl.
Look,um I know that I've been behaving like an idiot.
And I'm sorry.
I know that one meal isn't going to make up for it, but it's a start,isn't it? Isn't it? Thank you,Hari.
It's lovely Really lovely.
I work in advertising,only after the day I've had, I thinkl should stick with my chidhood ambition.
And what was that? Pilot on the Battlestar Galactica.
So what do you do? I am an events organiser.
Now I always thought that sounded really great, going to parties for a living.
Well,that's me,the ultimate party girl.
And your husband doesn't mind, sitting home alone while you're out partying? I'm not married.
Right.
Ijust presumed somebody as attractive as you would've been snapped up ages ago.
Well,thank you.
Thank you very much.
I suppose I might've done but I have a knack for falling for the wrong people.
Yeah,well.
That makes two of us.
I'm divorced.
Anyway,from now on I've decide to just enjoy being single, really have some fun.
Sounds like a good policy.
Mind if I join you? I'll get us some more wine,shall I? So I'm sitting there,I look him right in the eye, and I'm like,hmm,how am I going to play this? Do you know what I mean? And he's looking at me getting all excited and I say to him,'Why? 'Have you ever thought about doing it with a man? ' You didn't! I did.
It was so funny,you should've seen his face.
Honestly,he obviously thought I was going to hit him with a load of girl-on-girl hot lesbian fantasies.
What? Nothing.
Iwasjust thinking how nice this place is.
I aim to please.
You know,I never intended to be at that party.
What do you mean? A friend told me you were going to be there, so I bought a ticket at the last minute.
Are you saying you only won't because of me? And you never told me.
Well,you always thought I was mysterious and cool.
I think I was worried I'd disappoint you.
What,and actually you were stalking me? I must have been more irresistible than I thought.
Any other secrets you want to share with me? Nope,that's it.
Anyway,thank you,Hari,this is beautiful.
The night's not over yet.
I've got another surprise,but you'll need yourjacket.
Why do I get the impression you're not keen on that? It's just that Duggan is having dinner with a client.
I promised I'd join them for a drink.
It's fine.
I sprung this on you,you go.
I'll save it for another day.
Actually,Hari.
It's fine.
I'lljust tell him I can't make it.
Come on.
How come you've managed to get to this ripe old age without sleeping with a woman? I guess I just never met one I was attracted to.
Not until now,that is.
If I didn't know better,I'd think you were flirting with me.
That would be badly behaved of me,wouldn't it? 0h yes,and you're never badly behaved.
Absolutely not.
So tell me,was I the first time you strayed? YEP That's a very long time to remain completely faithful.
Well,I guess I haven't never met anyone I couldn't resist.
Up until now,that is.
Now who's flirting? Yes,you're right.
I am.
And I really ought to stop.
No,I don't think you should.
And why would that be? Well,it's your hen night.
You're absolutely supposed to flirt with somebody else.
True.
Infact,I'm pretty sure you're supposed to sleep with somebody else.
Sorry,the mess is a bit shocking.
I wasn't expecting a visitor.
Don't worry.
It's fine.
I'd better Sorry,I'd better get that.
It could be work.
ARE YOU IGNORING ME? SAM XX Is there a problem? No.
Nothing.
No.
It's fine.
Sorry.
No,I'm sorry,I can't do this.
I'm moving too fast,I'm sorry.
No.
No.
No.
You've lovely,you're great.
It'sjust I,um Make a habit of going for the wrong people? I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Keep walking.
Nearly there,nearly there.
0K.
Nearly there,nearly there.
Hang on.
OK,you can open them now.
Remember? I have a feeling we might have had sex under this tree.
God,100 years ago.
Notjust sex,our first ever outdoor shag.
You were so desperate to get my kit off you couldn't wait till we got home.
I was probably trying to impress you with how sexually abandoned I was.
Well,you certainly did that.
You were magnificent.
You still are,Siobhan.
OK.
So,do you want a drink? I've got wine,vodka,gin,tequila,brandy, or I've got coffee,and I think there's even tea somewhere.
I didn't think you did nervous.
Well,I don't.
Usually.
But then I wasn't expecting to lose my virginity again.
Well,for a first-timer,you sure are getting the hang of things quickly.
I'm sorry.
Moving forward,using all my breath Making love to you was never second-best I saw the world thrashing all around your face Never really know when it was always mesh and lace I'll stop the world and melt with you Do you reckon Formula One drivers donate sperm? I don't know.
Are they the donating type? You might have a point.
Come here.
Hey,you shouldn't look so glum.
It's your big day.
Oh,it'sjust.
.
.
It'sjust a bit strange that's all.
It's been It's been fun.
Yeah.
Well,there's no reason why the fun has to stop.
Not if we don't want it to.
No.
It does.
I,um I couldn't do that to Lisa.
Not once we're married.
Although I'm not married yet.
You're right,you're not.
No.
Um.
I mean I don't have to get married.
Well,be a shame to waste all my best-laid plans.
Yeah Anyway,I've got to go.
I can't be late for my own wedding.
Bye Bye,then.
Bye.
Hey,I'm going to see you later? Yeah.
You know,you really shouldn't be here.
Sorry.
You didn't text me back,I just wanted to check we're OK.
Come in,come in.
So how come you didn't call me back last night? Did you go out? Look,Sam um I've had to take you off my patient list.
Dr Carrington's going to be looking after you from now on.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? That we can be together? No.
No.
No.
I'm not.
It.
.
.
It wasn't my decision.
Rob Dr Carrington.
He He saw us in the square yesterday and he knows that you brought me the flowers.
Shit.
Did I get you in trouble? No.
No.
No.
Not yet.
But if we carry on seeing each other, even as friends,then I think you might.
It's all my fault,I should never have started this.
I feel Oh,I feel like I've let you down.
Don't say that.
Don't even think that.
I don't regret anything and I don't want you to either.
Ever since my father died, you've been the only person that's made me feel happy again.
He would have been so proud of you.
You're like him in so many ways.
Look.
You need to go.
We can't be around each other like this.
OK.
I understand.
Can I at least have a hug goodbye? You're right.
I should go.
All right.
I'll call you later.
Hey,jess,it's Tru.
Look,I know you're busy,but I Well,I've decided to have sex with Richard today.
Right,well.
The only think is I've bought some sexy underwear and I'm a bit worried it's a bit tarty.
Trudi,I don't think anyone in the whole of England would ever think that you were a bit tarty.
But look,I'm afraid I'm going to have to dash.
But good luck,OK? OK.
OK.
Bye.
Marcus Thank you.
just thought I'd pop in,see how my best girl's getting on.
Pretty good so far.
Where's the bride and bride? - Up in the tower doing the deed.
- Good.
They should be here soon.
I wouldn't want to miss THEM in their wedding gear.
So when's the drunken girl-on-girl action start? just asking! Listen,I thought we might be able to have a little wedding night celebration of our own.
I don't think so.
Go on,you should be able to slip away by nine.
No.
I mean,I don't want to.
This has been fun,but all good things come to an end,yeah? Why don't you sleep with your wife for a change? I'm sure she'd appreciate it.
You look fantastic.
It's this place that looks fantastic.
jessica,thank you so much.
It is pretty special if I say so myself.
Let me give you a hug I could eat you up.
Excuse me.
I have to go and talk to some people.
Wedding nerves.
Let's get you a drink.
Thank you.
Well,I thought we could have a really indulgent afternoon.
I've got us a DVD and I've even cooked a TV lunch.
Risotto.
Don't panic,we can chuck it and have a sandwich if it's dreadful.
And you can relax,I took on board what you said yesterday and sex is definitely not on the menu.
Why do I get the feeling you're avoiding me? I waited for you last night.
You should've called.
I've sorry.
Oh,you're sorry.
So that's it? I've realised I've realised I can't do this any more.
Hari and I spoke and I'm hoping we can patch things up.
0h,right.
So that's what I was.
A marital aid? A little pick-me-up to get you through the hard times? No! No,it wasn't like that.
If things had been different Please,no bullshit.
I'd have a lot more respect for you if you'd just admit it.
0h,this bit's really funny.
Sorry.
Am I being a sofa hog? No,um,no.
You're fine.
Brilliant! OK.
Um.
No,don't pause it.
I'lljust be a minute.
Would you like me to show you where to put that? 0h,yeah,thanks.
Sorry,I'm always pathologically late for everything.
So much more fashionable.
Trudi.
This is my neighbour,jim.
He'sjust returning my garden chairs.
Hello,jim! Trudi,please come out and talk to me.
You've got nothing to feel embarrassed about.
I mean,I was delighted.
jim thinks I'm some sort of super stud.
You've done wonders for my image.
You look very sexy.
I didn't.
I looked ridiculous.
I tried to seduce you like some sort of femme fatale, when the fact is I've had two kids, I've got stretch marks and cellulite.
And I haven't had sex with anyone in six years, and I'll probably be rubbish anyway.
Trudi,I'm hardly perfect myself.
And as for being rubbish, I've been out in the sexual wilderness for so long, just being naked with someone else will be thrilling enough.
So,can I kiss you now? Sorry.
Oh! I'mjust a bit tickly.
Sorry.
It's fine.
Katie I thought you'd like to know.
I don't think Sam will be a problem any more.
He's phoned me to let me know he's going back to college.
Which is good news,Ithink.
Don't you? He must be feeling better.
Yes.
Yeah.
I suppose he must.
Thanks for letting me know.
Everyone.
Can I have your attention please? We're going to cut the cake.
But first,I'd just like to thank you all so much for coming.
And I'd also like to say a few words about Well,my wife.
Lisa isn'tjust gorgeous, she's talented,and honest, she's the kindest person I know.
I'm so happy she's agreed to spend the rest of her life with the likes of me.
And I love her to pieces.
So,I know it's been a while.
I hope it wasn't a disappointment.
No.
No.
It was lovely.
Well,to be honest,it was pretty fantastic actually.
For me,anyway.
0h.
For me too.
Absolutely.
Can I ask you a question? Sure.
I haven't really been with many men.
I mean,apart from Paul,hardly any.
So,are you bigger than the average? Oh,now I've made you self-conscious.
I'm sorry.
.
.
No,Trudi,really,honestly,you haven't.
In fact,if you want to spread it around that I'm immensely well endowed,then that's fine too.
All this money and fuss,for what? A piece of paper.
I mean,I don't understand why gay couples were so keen to get in on this marriage bullshit anyway.
It's a pagan ritual.
You'll get no argument from me.
They'lljust break up.
I mean,sure,it's all smiles and till death do us part now, but give it six months and they'll be arguing about who's going to get the bloody cat.
Listen,if I do ever get married,remind me not to hire you.
We need more alcohol.
My God,it was amazing.
I mean,OK,I wasjust obsessing about my body and then the next it wasjust whoa! I'm not oking,it was three times.
I mean,for G0d's sakes,it wasjust so amazing.
I can't believe I've wasted all those years.
0h,Siobhan,I'm really sorry.
I'm being tactless again.
No.
You're not.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Hari and I have talked and, um,I think we're going to be able to work things out.
0h,that's great.
I'm really pleased for you.
So all we need to do now is to find you a lovely hunk,Katie.
0h.
Don't.
You sound just like jessica.
Actually,I've got to make a phone call.
I'lljust be a sec.
Here we go.
Number two.
On,two,three.
Go.
Come on.
Let's go again.
No way,two of those is my limit.
Oh,come on! Actually,I've got a better idea.
Maybe we should go somewhere else.
Let them look.
Are you all right in there? I generally have this effect on women.
Hey.
Are you OK? Yeah.
Here It's all right.
I always cry at weddings.
Thank you.
GONE JOGGING SEE YOU LATER GRAEOUS ^^ They told me at the surgery you were going back to college.
I didn't think I had a reason to stay.
pregnant Hello.
Hi.
Can I come in? OK.
It's about Paul.
I did know him.
Really well.
I was his lover in New York.
I don't believe you.
Well,it's the truth,Trudi.
Get out.
Get out! I just want to talk to you.
Get out.
I just want to talk to you.
Go now or I will call the police.
I.
.
.
I just want to talk ! Siobhan,this is Hari.
Which is why he is having his baby.
But it's not his baby.
You just either shut down, or,you know,you're pestering me for sex.
Well,I'm sorry you felt pestered.
I've no idea what your problem is, but if you don't deal with it you're not going to get your present.
Did you just say,'Paul's lover? ' She's been here twice and she's left a package.
This is Paul we're talking about.
He wouldn't do something like this.
Perhaps next time It could just be the two of us.
I'm a little bit confused right now.
I don't want you near us.
Do you hear me? Yeah.
I hear you.
But I'm not going anywhere.
Ah,sex.
We can tell.
Yeah,the question is,who is it? I'm falling in love with you.
I'm afraid they weren't quite what we were hoping for.
The tests show there's very little live sperm in your ejaculate.
So we can't get pregnant? 'Don't you think it's a bit weird? ' He appears in your life,Mr Keen,the very day you get your cheque.
That would be the only reason someone would ask me out,would it? I'm so sorry.
When he knew he was dying,he didn't want me there.
He wanted her there.
I need you to tell me if it was you.
It wasn't me.
'I had sex with a man that wasn't Hari.
' 'And do you want it to happen again? ' 'No,it was once,that's it.
'- anyone here ever kissed a girl? 'Ah,don't tell me you're going all lesbian? ' 'No! Look,I'mjust curious.
' Who takes care of you,Katie? Who makes you feel better? Cos I'd do that for you.
I'm going to take your silence as encouragement.
proudly presents MISTUESSES Season01 Episode203 Oh,OK.
Bags,bags.
Give Gina her bag,darling,OK? - Bye.
Bye.
- I love you.
Bye.
0h.
What's your excuse? Ah.
Lost school shoe and row over teeth brushing.
Yours? Ah,spilt cornflakes and forgotten homework.
Um.
Listen,Ithought I might pop round this afternoon, be nice to spend some quality alone time together.
Yeah.
Great.
Unless you're busy? No,no,no That sounds great.
OK.
So I'll see you around one? - Yeah.
- Lovely.
- See ya.
- Right.
Goodbye.
What can I get you? Can I get a coffee? Hon,aren't you going to get up? I'm not in till four.
It's a lovely day outside.
You could sit in the garden.
I'm infertile,not an invalid.
So he said it would be good to spend some 'quality alone time' together.
What does that mean? Do you think he means sex? Well,possibly,but that's not a bad thing,is it? Yes,I'm enormous! No,my bum actually wobbles when I walk.
0h God,I can't possibly get naked in front of him.
I've got to lose a stone by lunchtime.
Do you think those instant inch loss wrap things work? I'm sorry.
Are you OK? 0h,maybe I shouldn't be talking about this.
Um,I saw Sam yesterday evening.
And,er,and he kissed me.
Well,we kissed actually.
Twice.
Wait.
I've got a horrible feeling that you're not joking.
Look.
It's not how it sounds.
This isn'tjust about john.
I like him,Trudi.
I really like him.
He makes me feel happy,he make me feel better.
Yeah.
Until he finds out you were sleeping with his dad! Katie,you know what's at stake if it gets out about john.
Sam could ruin you.
Look,I know that grief can make us do,well,crazy things.
I mean,I bought that horrible orange sofa,remember? But,darling,I want you to be happy but you can't get involved with Sam.
Even forgetting he's john's son,he's 24 and he's a vulnerable patient.
You know I'm right,don't you? - Katie? - Yes.
Yes.
You're right.
You're right,you're right.
There you go.
Yeah,it's hot.
- So,one skinny latte.
- Thanks.
Look,about last night.
I had a really great time but The thing is,I'm in love with Lisa and I'm getting married in two days, and I was worried that maybe What,that I might be out shopping for matching bathrobes? Well That maybe I gave you the wrong idea.
Alex.
You can chill.
It's fine.
Really.
What's a snog between friends? So you're OK,then? We can still Absolutely.
God,if I wasn't friends with anyone I'd ever snogged, I would be pretty lonely by now.
And I've only had a small tattoo of your name done.
I'm pretty sure it can be removed.
So now we've averted that crisis,more importantly, what are you doing for your hen night and am I invited? 0h,well.
You would be if I was doing anything.
Lisa's going out of town with some of her uni friends, and Ijust couldn't be bothered organising anything.
0n your hen night! There's no way am I letting you get away with that.
Come out with me.
0h,come on.
Look,I'll book us a nice restaurant or something, I'll put it on expenses.
Well,when you put it like that,OK.
Good.
So that's sorted.
- OK.
- Yeah? Look,I'd better get a shift on, because I'm meeting your florist.
But I'll call you,OK? OK.
You can give me a call whenever you need to.
So we'll see you in a couple of weeks.
See you next time.
Sam.
Hi.
Come on through.
Could you just give me one minute? This is very sweet of you,Sam.
But you can'tjust turn up here,especially not with flowers.
Don't you like them? That's not the point,is it? But yes,they're beautiful.
Thank you.
So are you.
0h,Sam.
You're amazing,you know that.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Ijust No.
You've got to stop it.
You can't.
Ijust I'm sorry.
Ijust can't.
Why not? Look,if you care about me,you won't push me on this,all right? We can still be friends.
OK.
I'm not saying I agree with it,but I understand.
Well,you'd better go.
I've got patients waiting.
Shall we meet tomorrow? You said we could still be friends.
OK.
OK.
Great.
I ll call you.
Try Try Try Try Try just a little bit harder So I can love,love,love him,Itell myself Well,I'm gonna try,yeah, just a little bit harder You're early.
Is that OK? Yeah.
Maybe I should come round early more often.
I'm going to pop upstairs and put some clothes on.
- I haven't had a proper hello yet.
0h.
Er OK,I should get dressed.
Maybe you shouldn't bother.
Are you hurt? No.
Well,what's the bandages? Well,if you really must know it's a Instant Inch Loss Wrap.
It's for people who want to lose inches,instantly.
You don't need to lose weight.
You're perfect.
No.
I'm Look,even iflwas perfect,which I'm not.
I Well,I haven't been with anyone since Paul and, well if that's what you want,to You know Well,I'm sorry,I'm `ust not ready for Sex- It`s fine I'm not just I like you.
I really like you.
And if you want to wait,then that's fine by me.
OK,then.
Cup of tea? Yeah.
Lovely.
OK.
I can`t stop thinking about you.
Shouldn't we bring some papers with us next time? Pretend to be doing some research.
What do you mean? We have been doing research.
I don't think that going to help us with Carter v Carter.
What do you mean,intimate? I don't know.
It'sjust the way they were looking at each other, it was just,well,it was a bit intimate.
I'm sure it was nothing,Siobhan adores Hari.
Yeah,Katie's right.
It was probablyjust a colleague.
You know what it's like when you work with someone.
What,like you and your boss? 0h,Siobhan isn't jess.
What's that mean? You know exactly what I mean and don't even pretend to be offended.
Oh,no.
You won't say anything,will you? No.
OK.
There I was,like some kind of mummy.
He said,'Are you hurt? ' I mean,oh,God,he must have though that I'd been in some terrible accident.
Trudi,how many times,you are not fat.
I mean,if you actually had sex, you'd probably be a lot less anxious.
That easy for you to say now you're going all lesbian.
Women are more forgiving,right? 0h,right.
Because women never ever bitch about each other.
And having a crush on one woman hardly counts as 'going all lesbian'.
Actually,we had a snog.
- Ah! Did you? - Yeah.
And? It was hot.
Well,go on.
Well,she had a bit of a freak out and said we can't do it again.
But I think she'll come round.
Yeah.
I'll seduce her.
There's loads of men in prison who thought that.
Actually she's agreed to spend her hen night with me.
Well,I think you should leave the woman alone.
She's getting married.
What,and miss out my opportunity to do to a Camilla Parker Bowles at the wedding? All right,Trudi obviously disapproves of me.
What about you,Siobhan? She's the one promising to be faithful,not you.
Maybe she's unhappy and looking for a way out.
God knows,relationships can be trying at times.
Are things still difficult with Hari? Could say that.
But I don't want to talk about that right now.
Anybody else feel like some more wine? OK.
THE NEW LESBIAN SEX GUIDE Here you go,sir.
Have a nice day.
Thank you.
Hello.
Hey.
Hi.
Hiya.
Indulging your cookery book habit? Not exactly,no.
I used to buy books on pregnancy, now I'm in the same section buying books on IVF.
Siobhan told you,I suppose.
Yeah.
She did mention it.
You're going to be OK,you know.
It's funny,you know.
People always talk about 'us'.
How it's our problem.
But it isn't,is it? If Siobhan was with someone else,she'd be pregnant by now.
Well.
Maybe.
But she also wouldn't have had two years with a fantastic bloke she adores.
She loves you,Hari.
This isn't going to change that.
Really? So why do so many couples break up over this? Maybe they don't have what you and Siobhan have.
You've got a great marriage.
The only thing that's going to spoil that is if you shut her out.
She needs you as much as you need her.
just talk to her.
Mmm? Come on.
You've got to stay optimistic.
Come on.
DOMICIC:STOP DISTRACTING ME OBJECT TO UNFAIR ACCUSATION.
AM WORING NO YOU`RE NOT.
WE`RE ON THE ROOF TERRACE.
YOU STAND LOVELY WHEN YOU COME.
YOU`RE VERY BAD NO.
I`M VERY GOOD.
WANT TO BE REMINDED? ROOF TERRACE.
FIVE MINUTES? Hello? Hello? Paul? Paul,is this you? '01632960.
Katie? Katie.
0h,hi,Sam.
You all right? You were miles away.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Lunch.
Perfect,thanks.
It's a great addition.
We even have meetings up here sometimes.
You should see the view from round the corner,it's stunning.
Come,we really should get going.
Our table's booked for 1.
15.
OK? That was way too risky.
We have to go.
Come to my house this evening.
Siobhan,I need to be alone with you.
This is driving me crazy.
I've already been out twice this week.
OK.
So go home,have dinner.
Then say something's come up at the office, a client's drink,a work do.
Something like that.
I'll try.
I said I'll try.
It's the best I can do.
Go.
How do you know it's not somebody getting the wrong number? Well Look,I know you think I'm crazy,but I think it's Paul.
I think he wants me to know he's still alive.
So why don't you just ring it? I don't know,I'm scared.
What are you doing? What you should have done three hours ago.
It's a hotel,the Pemberley Inn.
I don't know why they bother,they always look so miserable.
It's good for you.
I can think of better ways to burn off calories.
What? I was wondering why someone like you is single.
ThE | 'E WAS SOMEONE O | 'ICE.
Someone I loved very much.
What happened? It didn't work out.
And now you're too scared to get close to anyone.
I really want to kiss you.
I've got to go.
What? Don't.
.
.
I've got to get back to the surgery.
THE PRMBERLEY INN HOTEL 0h,my God,I don't think I can do this.
What if I've been right all along? What if he's really alive? Well,then,the two of you have a lot to talk about.
God.
Do I look old? No,really.
I was looking in the mirror this morning and I thought my eyes were saggy.
If he'll think I look haggard.
.
.
I really want to know.
Trudi,you don't look a day over 21.
Now come on.
I can see how it might look,Rob, but it's all completely innocent.
Sam has been upset about the death of his father and I've been helping him.
The flowers were a thank you.
Yeah.
It'sjust I also noticed you having lunch in the square.
We bumped into each other.
I could hardly tell him to go away,could I? No,no.
0f course not.
But you have thought about taking him off your list recently.
Was that because he's got a crush on you? Um,I don't know.
Maybe.
.
.
But that's no reason to stop helping him,is it? Which is all I'm doing.
Yeah.
I don't doubt that.
All I'm saying is maybe your initial impulse was right,that's all.
I don't think it's necessary.
Katie.
I'm only saying this because you're a good friend as well as a colleague.
I'd hate for anyone to get the wrong impression.
I'm not saying you can't handle him, but there's no harm in being cautious now,is there? OK,fine.
Frankly,I could do with one less patient to worry about.
I'll,um I'll let him know.
He was my husband.
He was involved in the 9/I1 attacks.
Well,I still don't know whether he's alive.
And we're really desperate to find him.
There've been some phone calls made from this hotel and we think they might have been from him.
Sorry,no,I haven't seen him,but then I've been off a week.
This is the number that was called us.
Is there any way you could just tell us which room they came from? Please,we'd be really,really grateful.
Thank you.
This one.
OK? Yeah.
0h,hi there.
Sorry to bother you.
We've been getting some silent phone calls to our home and they've been coming from this room.
We think they might be connected to a missing person.
Paul Malloy? I'm sorry,I really don't know anything about 0h,yeah.
I think I know what's going on here.
It's my son,he's obsessed with the phone.
I'm always telling him not to play with it but you know what kids are like.
I'm really sorry.
No,no,no.
OK.
We're sorry to have disturbed you.
Thank you for your help.
Thanks.
OK.
I feel so stupid.
Don't be silly.
All this stuff with Paul,I have been imagining it,haven't I? He's dead,isn't he? You know,I think it's good that we came here.
Maybe now you can finally let go of him Get out there and start really enjoying life.
Yeah? Thank you.
FANCY A DRINK? SAM XXX 0h shit.
Hello,darling.
- Hi.
- Hey.
What are you doing here? I thought we could walk home together.
OK.
And I wanted to talk to you about something.
OK.
You're still sleeping with that guy,aren't you? Trudi said she saw you with him.
- Trudi said - Yeah.
Don't worry,I managed to convince her that you're not having an affair.
But you are,aren't you? You told me it was a one-off.
Look,I shouldn't have spoken to you about that.
And I don't want to talk about it.
Well,I do.
I'm worried about you.
I know that you and Hari are having your problems, but sleeping with somebody else is not the answer.
That's a bit rich coming from you.
Hey,I'm notjudging you,I'm just trying to help.
And I've told you that I don't want to talk about it.
Hi.
Can I have a large glass of dry white wine please? Thank you.
Thank you.
Are you stuck? Totally.
It'sjust a prop really,so I don't look like I have no friends.
Although this is bothering me now.
Holiday,getaway,six letters.
Escape.
That's nothing.
You should see me playing scissors,paper,stone.
I am virtually unbeatable.
I'm james.
jessica.
Hi.
Fly away,going out for another way A new day is dawning.
.
.
Hari WHAT ALL THIS? Well,it's the first anniversary of the first time I saw you, so I thought we should celebrate.
I thought that was next month.
That was the first time I spoke to you.
This is the first time that I saw you.
The fancy dress? That was today? 12 years ago.
I still can't believe you found me attractive in that ridiculous outfit.
Yeah.
you did look ridiculous.
but hey,at least I got to see your legs in fishnets.
So it was my legs you were after.
Yup,that and everything else about you.
I spent the whole evening wondering howl could pluck up the courage to talk to this amazing girl.
Look,um I know that I've been behaving like an idiot.
And I'm sorry.
I know that one meal isn't going to make up for it, but it's a start,isn't it? Isn't it? Thank you,Hari.
It's lovely Really lovely.
I work in advertising,only after the day I've had, I thinkl should stick with my chidhood ambition.
And what was that? Pilot on the Battlestar Galactica.
So what do you do? I am an events organiser.
Now I always thought that sounded really great, going to parties for a living.
Well,that's me,the ultimate party girl.
And your husband doesn't mind, sitting home alone while you're out partying? I'm not married.
Right.
Ijust presumed somebody as attractive as you would've been snapped up ages ago.
Well,thank you.
Thank you very much.
I suppose I might've done but I have a knack for falling for the wrong people.
Yeah,well.
That makes two of us.
I'm divorced.
Anyway,from now on I've decide to just enjoy being single, really have some fun.
Sounds like a good policy.
Mind if I join you? I'll get us some more wine,shall I? So I'm sitting there,I look him right in the eye, and I'm like,hmm,how am I going to play this? Do you know what I mean? And he's looking at me getting all excited and I say to him,'Why? 'Have you ever thought about doing it with a man? ' You didn't! I did.
It was so funny,you should've seen his face.
Honestly,he obviously thought I was going to hit him with a load of girl-on-girl hot lesbian fantasies.
What? Nothing.
Iwasjust thinking how nice this place is.
I aim to please.
You know,I never intended to be at that party.
What do you mean? A friend told me you were going to be there, so I bought a ticket at the last minute.
Are you saying you only won't because of me? And you never told me.
Well,you always thought I was mysterious and cool.
I think I was worried I'd disappoint you.
What,and actually you were stalking me? I must have been more irresistible than I thought.
Any other secrets you want to share with me? Nope,that's it.
Anyway,thank you,Hari,this is beautiful.
The night's not over yet.
I've got another surprise,but you'll need yourjacket.
Why do I get the impression you're not keen on that? It's just that Duggan is having dinner with a client.
I promised I'd join them for a drink.
It's fine.
I sprung this on you,you go.
I'll save it for another day.
Actually,Hari.
It's fine.
I'lljust tell him I can't make it.
Come on.
How come you've managed to get to this ripe old age without sleeping with a woman? I guess I just never met one I was attracted to.
Not until now,that is.
If I didn't know better,I'd think you were flirting with me.
That would be badly behaved of me,wouldn't it? 0h yes,and you're never badly behaved.
Absolutely not.
So tell me,was I the first time you strayed? YEP That's a very long time to remain completely faithful.
Well,I guess I haven't never met anyone I couldn't resist.
Up until now,that is.
Now who's flirting? Yes,you're right.
I am.
And I really ought to stop.
No,I don't think you should.
And why would that be? Well,it's your hen night.
You're absolutely supposed to flirt with somebody else.
True.
Infact,I'm pretty sure you're supposed to sleep with somebody else.
Sorry,the mess is a bit shocking.
I wasn't expecting a visitor.
Don't worry.
It's fine.
I'd better Sorry,I'd better get that.
It could be work.
ARE YOU IGNORING ME? SAM XX Is there a problem? No.
Nothing.
No.
It's fine.
Sorry.
No,I'm sorry,I can't do this.
I'm moving too fast,I'm sorry.
No.
No.
No.
You've lovely,you're great.
It'sjust I,um Make a habit of going for the wrong people? I'm sorry.
I'm really sorry.
Keep walking.
Nearly there,nearly there.
0K.
Nearly there,nearly there.
Hang on.
OK,you can open them now.
Remember? I have a feeling we might have had sex under this tree.
God,100 years ago.
Notjust sex,our first ever outdoor shag.
You were so desperate to get my kit off you couldn't wait till we got home.
I was probably trying to impress you with how sexually abandoned I was.
Well,you certainly did that.
You were magnificent.
You still are,Siobhan.
OK.
So,do you want a drink? I've got wine,vodka,gin,tequila,brandy, or I've got coffee,and I think there's even tea somewhere.
I didn't think you did nervous.
Well,I don't.
Usually.
But then I wasn't expecting to lose my virginity again.
Well,for a first-timer,you sure are getting the hang of things quickly.
I'm sorry.
Moving forward,using all my breath Making love to you was never second-best I saw the world thrashing all around your face Never really know when it was always mesh and lace I'll stop the world and melt with you Do you reckon Formula One drivers donate sperm? I don't know.
Are they the donating type? You might have a point.
Come here.
Hey,you shouldn't look so glum.
It's your big day.
Oh,it'sjust.
.
.
It'sjust a bit strange that's all.
It's been It's been fun.
Yeah.
Well,there's no reason why the fun has to stop.
Not if we don't want it to.
No.
It does.
I,um I couldn't do that to Lisa.
Not once we're married.
Although I'm not married yet.
You're right,you're not.
No.
Um.
I mean I don't have to get married.
Well,be a shame to waste all my best-laid plans.
Yeah Anyway,I've got to go.
I can't be late for my own wedding.
Bye Bye,then.
Bye.
Hey,I'm going to see you later? Yeah.
You know,you really shouldn't be here.
Sorry.
You didn't text me back,I just wanted to check we're OK.
Come in,come in.
So how come you didn't call me back last night? Did you go out? Look,Sam um I've had to take you off my patient list.
Dr Carrington's going to be looking after you from now on.
Are you saying what I think you're saying? That we can be together? No.
No.
No.
I'm not.
It.
.
.
It wasn't my decision.
Rob Dr Carrington.
He He saw us in the square yesterday and he knows that you brought me the flowers.
Shit.
Did I get you in trouble? No.
No.
No.
Not yet.
But if we carry on seeing each other, even as friends,then I think you might.
It's all my fault,I should never have started this.
I feel Oh,I feel like I've let you down.
Don't say that.
Don't even think that.
I don't regret anything and I don't want you to either.
Ever since my father died, you've been the only person that's made me feel happy again.
He would have been so proud of you.
You're like him in so many ways.
Look.
You need to go.
We can't be around each other like this.
OK.
I understand.
Can I at least have a hug goodbye? You're right.
I should go.
All right.
I'll call you later.
Hey,jess,it's Tru.
Look,I know you're busy,but I Well,I've decided to have sex with Richard today.
Right,well.
The only think is I've bought some sexy underwear and I'm a bit worried it's a bit tarty.
Trudi,I don't think anyone in the whole of England would ever think that you were a bit tarty.
But look,I'm afraid I'm going to have to dash.
But good luck,OK? OK.
OK.
Bye.
Marcus Thank you.
just thought I'd pop in,see how my best girl's getting on.
Pretty good so far.
Where's the bride and bride? - Up in the tower doing the deed.
- Good.
They should be here soon.
I wouldn't want to miss THEM in their wedding gear.
So when's the drunken girl-on-girl action start? just asking! Listen,I thought we might be able to have a little wedding night celebration of our own.
I don't think so.
Go on,you should be able to slip away by nine.
No.
I mean,I don't want to.
This has been fun,but all good things come to an end,yeah? Why don't you sleep with your wife for a change? I'm sure she'd appreciate it.
You look fantastic.
It's this place that looks fantastic.
jessica,thank you so much.
It is pretty special if I say so myself.
Let me give you a hug I could eat you up.
Excuse me.
I have to go and talk to some people.
Wedding nerves.
Let's get you a drink.
Thank you.
Well,I thought we could have a really indulgent afternoon.
I've got us a DVD and I've even cooked a TV lunch.
Risotto.
Don't panic,we can chuck it and have a sandwich if it's dreadful.
And you can relax,I took on board what you said yesterday and sex is definitely not on the menu.
Why do I get the feeling you're avoiding me? I waited for you last night.
You should've called.
I've sorry.
Oh,you're sorry.
So that's it? I've realised I've realised I can't do this any more.
Hari and I spoke and I'm hoping we can patch things up.
0h,right.
So that's what I was.
A marital aid? A little pick-me-up to get you through the hard times? No! No,it wasn't like that.
If things had been different Please,no bullshit.
I'd have a lot more respect for you if you'd just admit it.
0h,this bit's really funny.
Sorry.
Am I being a sofa hog? No,um,no.
You're fine.
Brilliant! OK.
Um.
No,don't pause it.
I'lljust be a minute.
Would you like me to show you where to put that? 0h,yeah,thanks.
Sorry,I'm always pathologically late for everything.
So much more fashionable.
Trudi.
This is my neighbour,jim.
He'sjust returning my garden chairs.
Hello,jim! Trudi,please come out and talk to me.
You've got nothing to feel embarrassed about.
I mean,I was delighted.
jim thinks I'm some sort of super stud.
You've done wonders for my image.
You look very sexy.
I didn't.
I looked ridiculous.
I tried to seduce you like some sort of femme fatale, when the fact is I've had two kids, I've got stretch marks and cellulite.
And I haven't had sex with anyone in six years, and I'll probably be rubbish anyway.
Trudi,I'm hardly perfect myself.
And as for being rubbish, I've been out in the sexual wilderness for so long, just being naked with someone else will be thrilling enough.
So,can I kiss you now? Sorry.
Oh! I'mjust a bit tickly.
Sorry.
It's fine.
Katie I thought you'd like to know.
I don't think Sam will be a problem any more.
He's phoned me to let me know he's going back to college.
Which is good news,Ithink.
Don't you? He must be feeling better.
Yes.
Yeah.
I suppose he must.
Thanks for letting me know.
Everyone.
Can I have your attention please? We're going to cut the cake.
But first,I'd just like to thank you all so much for coming.
And I'd also like to say a few words about Well,my wife.
Lisa isn'tjust gorgeous, she's talented,and honest, she's the kindest person I know.
I'm so happy she's agreed to spend the rest of her life with the likes of me.
And I love her to pieces.
So,I know it's been a while.
I hope it wasn't a disappointment.
No.
No.
It was lovely.
Well,to be honest,it was pretty fantastic actually.
For me,anyway.
0h.
For me too.
Absolutely.
Can I ask you a question? Sure.
I haven't really been with many men.
I mean,apart from Paul,hardly any.
So,are you bigger than the average? Oh,now I've made you self-conscious.
I'm sorry.
.
.
No,Trudi,really,honestly,you haven't.
In fact,if you want to spread it around that I'm immensely well endowed,then that's fine too.
All this money and fuss,for what? A piece of paper.
I mean,I don't understand why gay couples were so keen to get in on this marriage bullshit anyway.
It's a pagan ritual.
You'll get no argument from me.
They'lljust break up.
I mean,sure,it's all smiles and till death do us part now, but give it six months and they'll be arguing about who's going to get the bloody cat.
Listen,if I do ever get married,remind me not to hire you.
We need more alcohol.
My God,it was amazing.
I mean,OK,I wasjust obsessing about my body and then the next it wasjust whoa! I'm not oking,it was three times.
I mean,for G0d's sakes,it wasjust so amazing.
I can't believe I've wasted all those years.
0h,Siobhan,I'm really sorry.
I'm being tactless again.
No.
You're not.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Hari and I have talked and, um,I think we're going to be able to work things out.
0h,that's great.
I'm really pleased for you.
So all we need to do now is to find you a lovely hunk,Katie.
0h.
Don't.
You sound just like jessica.
Actually,I've got to make a phone call.
I'lljust be a sec.
Here we go.
Number two.
On,two,three.
Go.
Come on.
Let's go again.
No way,two of those is my limit.
Oh,come on! Actually,I've got a better idea.
Maybe we should go somewhere else.
Let them look.
Are you all right in there? I generally have this effect on women.
Hey.
Are you OK? Yeah.
Here It's all right.
I always cry at weddings.
Thank you.
GONE JOGGING SEE YOU LATER GRAEOUS ^^ They told me at the surgery you were going back to college.
I didn't think I had a reason to stay.
pregnant Hello.
Hi.
Can I come in? OK.
It's about Paul.
I did know him.
Really well.
I was his lover in New York.
I don't believe you.
Well,it's the truth,Trudi.
Get out.
Get out! I just want to talk to you.
Get out.
I just want to talk to you.
Go now or I will call the police.
I.
.
.
I just want to talk ! Siobhan,this is Hari.
Which is why he is having his baby.
But it's not his baby.
You just either shut down, or,you know,you're pestering me for sex.
Well,I'm sorry you felt pestered.
I've no idea what your problem is, but if you don't deal with it you're not going to get your present.
Did you just say,'Paul's lover? ' She's been here twice and she's left a package.
This is Paul we're talking about.
He wouldn't do something like this.
Perhaps next time It could just be the two of us.
I'm a little bit confused right now.
I don't want you near us.
Do you hear me? Yeah.
I hear you.
But I'm not going anywhere.
Ah,sex.
We can tell.
Yeah,the question is,who is it? I'm falling in love with you.