Mrs Sidhu Investigates (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[THEME MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[DAMIEN ON TV] Zazu is
the PA in your pocket.
It integrates all your data.
You know, let's just
say you wanna challenge
a parking ticket, Zazu does it for you.
It gets the photos, writes the claim,
even deals with the refund.
Anyone can have a personal
assistant for a few pounds.
Few pounds
Welcome aboard, Mr. Galloway.
Full steam ahead, Ms. Hamilton.
[APPLAUSE]
Where's our drinks? Oh, there they are.
Now, I'm sure you know
I'm a bit of a foodie.
So to mark our great union,
I've given you all a
bit of gastronomic swag.
[GALLOWAY] Please, help yourselves.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
One of us!
- Well, cheers!
- Cheers, cheers, cheers!
Cheers!
Press release is going
out first thing tomorrow.
New beginnings, teamsters.
Gonna put things right.
As your CEO, I promise that. One of us!
Some things you can't put right, Damien.
- Right.
- I just
[SCOFFS]
Uh, Calvin, I'll do the live
issues maintenance tonight.
- But that's my gig, always.
- Mate.
We've got ten new
engineers starting tomorrow.
You'll never have to do
the graveyard shift again.
Come on, and celebrate,
huh? Have some fun!
Oh, come on! Go, go, go, go, go!
[CALVIN]Okay, okay.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[EERIE MUSIC]
[THUDS]
Hi, Zazu, get me one
pepperoni from Smoking Hot.
[ZAZU]Ordering one pepperoni
from Smoking Hot Pizza.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I know what this looks like.
Mad middle-aged woman
talking to herself.
[WHISPERS] "I see dead Indians."
But it helps.
I just wish I knew
that you could hear me.
Can you hear me?
[RADIO TURNS ON]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO]
[MACHINES WHIRRING]
[RADIO TUNING]
I didn't mean it.
Get back in your cupboard.
[TEZ] Alright, mummyji? Zazu, off!
What, what the hell is going on?
[SIDHU]Who's been messing
with my lights and my radio?
My Magic Bullet buzzed all on its own!
- Your what?
- My blender!
[SIGHS] Just swerved years of therapy.
Anyway, chill. It's this wicked new app.
Just gotta adjust the filters.
Well, it's like it does everything!
Like, it reads your mind.
- What's up?
- Does it do this?
Ow! That's abuse!
And look.
I asked it to order you your spices.
See? They didn't have any
cumin or fennel, but they had
Mace?
Zazu, call Childline!
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[BEEPING]
[SIGHS]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[ENGINE REVVING]
Oh, no!
Don't call a cab. Let
me drop you somewhere.
Oh. Well, if you're sure, Mr. Galloway.
Laurence, please.
Although, I might charge you
after the share price you got out of me.
Now I know why they
call you Sharky Hamilton.
[CHUCKLES] So you're gonna let me in
or do I have to bite your other leg off?
[CHUCKLES] Stan, we're gonna
give Ms. Hamilton a lift home
and then back to the hotel.
Unless, of course, I could tempt
you out for a little dinner?
Well, thank you, but
I think it's a takeaway
and Netflix for me tonight.
- Oh.
- But why don't you ask Zazu?
She'd plan the perfect
evening for you, I'm sure.
So Zazu's a woman, is she?
It's a ruthless multi-tasker
who can read your mind.
- Hmph.
- What do you think?
- Shall we?
- Of course.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
[LINE RINGING]
[AUTOMATED MESSAGE] Please
leave your message after the tone.
Hi, baby. Deal is done and I'm buzzing.
[CHUCKLES] But also obviously
got some loose ends to tie up here.
So, uh, don't wait up.
Get some rest.
Anymore Braxton Hicks, just call me.
Any day now, you know it. I love you.
[LAPTOP CHIMES]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Zazu, maintenance mode.
Turn off security cameras A through to G
in sectors 2, 3, 4 and 7.
[ZAZU]Admin recognised,
Damien Sterling. 0-0-0-1.
Entering maintenance mode.
Security in selected zones off.
[STATIC]
[LAPTOP KEYS CLACKING]
[DOOR OPENS]
Took your time, mate. Leave it there.
Oi, not so fast, bro. This is cold.
It says on the box, if
it's not hot, it's free.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Please, no!
[GROANING]
[THUDS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[THEME MUSIC]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Oh, and, um, some
paprika, please. Thank you.
Sweet. Can tell you're a proper cook.
I prefer chef.
And, yes, I'm making an
Indian-influenced paella.
Oh, I love paella.
Me gusta mucho paella.
Oh, habla usted Espanol, muy bien?
Mm. Pocito. Pocito.
Your accent's pukka.
You've been to Spain?
No, never. No. Just Spanish
cuisine classes on YouTube.
"Cooking WithConcepcion."
There's a place just outside Barcelona
I used to visit every year.
Lucky you. Why stop?
Got tired of travelling alone, innit?
But, man, the food.
Like, there's a permanent
party in my mouth.
Yes, good food does that.
And someone who loves to
eat loves life. Isn't it?
What are you doing
cosying up to Sleazy Spice?
People are talking.
Oh, better be careful then.
I'm gonna serve him up later with
somesaag paneer and a niceChianti.
- Uh, uh, uh, uh
- Oh.
Oh, darling, close your mouth.
And hurry up, we don't
wanna miss our interview.
God.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[TEZ] Mum, Mum, Mum!
You're in the wrong lane! Go.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Just take a left.
Take a right, not le
Mom, you're going the wrong way again!
- Stop pancaking.
- It's a one-way system!
You're putting me off! Shh-shh.
Where are you going?
Oh, my gosh, Mom, you're
jerking the car too much!
[SIDHU]I am not jerking.
I am accelerating.
[TEZ]You are, you're gonna kill us both.
[ENGINE REVVING]
[INDISTINCT SONG ON RADIO]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[SIDHU] They old enough to
be out without their mothers?
[TEZ] Lucky them, innit?
Look, this is Berkshire's
Silicon Valley, and this lot built it
before some of them
had even started shaving.
The geek shall inherit the earth.
Maybe you should retake
your GSCE Computer Science.
And the woman you're
working for, Bree Hamilton,
they call her "The Shark."
She's like the Deborah Meaden of tech.
She buys and sells these guys like that!
All the more reason to
make a good impression then.
You know, normally there are
no second chances in business,
Tez, but I'm gonna give you one.
But this time I want focus,
I want attention and I wan
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Tez!
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- He dropped it.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[BREE] Well, you're the fourth
caterer I'm seeing today.
I expect fine-dining fare,
but I keep getting offered
sub wedding buffet shit.
Hopefully, I won't be
disappointed yet again.
[SNIFFS]
My goodness. Is there a speed
record you haven't broken? Heh.
Oh, yeah. My, um, my misspent youth.
Live fast and, well,
hopefully not die young.
Or alone.
No, I-I, I just noticed that
you're alone in all of your photos.
I imagine there isn't
much time to meet anyone
in your busy successful life.
Uh, though, I don't like to pry.
Hm.
Well, take my friend Gurinder, yeah.
Someone jilted her and
she never recovered.
Ah, she became a bitter, twisted sadist.
On the plus side, she's
a very good dentist.
Obviously, you're no
Gurinder.
[SIGHS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INTERCOM BEEPS]
[DOOR OPENS]
Carolina, take Mrs. Sidhu
up to see Pauline at Appenda.
She'll give you the tour
and show you the kitchen.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
- Good night out?
- Just how I like it.
A complete blur. What did you do?
- Nothing. Why? W-why do you ask?
- Chill out.
Your sweat patches will
start to meet up at the back.
I was up late, did some work from home.
Of course you did. Teacher's pet.
- At least I give a toss, Jade.
- Do you?
Or are you just worried
about someone else
messing up your precious code?
Sorry. Um, can I
Can we talk, like, alone?
Not now, precious. Got to
do the big-brother chat.
[INHALES SHARPLY]
Okay, listen up, newbies!
[SNAPS FINGERS]
That's it. Hello.
[JADE] Right! Welcome to Appenda!
Kitchen to your satisfaction?
Oh, yeah. Never seen so many gadgets.
Ah, that was Appenda's first office.
When they were just babies.
They've gone up in the world since then.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Ah, may I introduce you to
our new cook, Mrs. Sidhu?
She's here for induction week,
courtesy of Bree, to spoil us all.
I prefer chef. Delighted.
Jade is our Chief Operations Officer
and Calvin, Chief Tech Officer.
- Hi.
- Where's Damien?
- Uh, he worked late.
- Obviously, sleeping it off.
Uh, uh, Bree won't be happy.
Due diligence starts today.
Though, I doubt diligence
is in Damien's vocabulary.
Is there anything further I
can help you with, Mrs. Sidhu?
Oh, uh, no, I think
I'm going to set up my
cook to order station there.
- But I was thinking
- Ah, sounds great.
And, uh, keep a look
out for Mr. Galloway,
fussy gastronome VIP.
Just rustle him up whatever he fancies.
Oh, I can do fancies,
whims, three wishes.
Yeah, just call me
your foodie godmother.
You know, my son's
got your Zazu app. Hm.
Oh, that's my baby. Isn't it amazing?
It's like having a PA
that can do anything
from organise your dry-cleaning
to monitor your home security.
On, so it spies on you? Well,
my neighbours do that already.
No, no, no. We have safeguards for that.
Even our building security
is controlled by Zazu.
Well, your Zazu app last night
rang my doorbell and fused my lights.
I mean, you know, it's an app,
not an unwanted relative
turning up from India.
Yeah, well, it shouldn't do
that. Calvin, bring up Zazu.
I can't. The system's offline.
Offline?
Bloody Damien! Why did
you let him cover for you?
He insisted.
We're gonna need lots of
very strong coffee. Quickly.
Right behind you.
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [SIGHS]
- [JADE]Seriously?
- [SIDHU] Oh, my.
Oh, it's not the first time
we've found him face-down
in a takeaway after an all-nighter.
- Wake him up, Cal.
- Uh, do I have to?
- Uh, yeah!
- [SIGHS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Up.
- Up!
- Ugh!
[GRUNTS]
Get up, you idiot.
If you've broken Zazu, I will kill you.
Um, I don't think he's sleeping.
- Oh! Ah!
- Oh
I-i-is he
Squeezed dry like a supermarket lemon.
- Ugh! Uh
- Aah! Huh.
Sorry for your loss.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO]
[RAZOR WHIRRING]
[WOMAN ON RADIO]
chance to win a whopping
50,000 pounds and a holiday
[ENGINE REVVING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO]
[CAR DOOR SHUTS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON RADIO]
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
Sorry.
[CAMERA CLICKING]
- [DOOR SHUTS]
- [MUSIC CONTINUES]
[MINT] Damien Sterling,
rising star of the tech world.
Yeah, not anymore.
So what, he's eating his pizza,
someone comes up behind him and
[MINT] Crushed the wind pipe
and cut the carotid arteries.
It's a toss-up between anoxic anoxia
and occlusion of
circulation to the brain.
Or strangled, in Earth language?
I just wrote down what
the pathologist said.
I write everything down.
Rule number one of good policing, Sir.
Yeah, well, I think
that might be catching
the bad guys. Uh, time of death?
Between 9 p.m. and midnight last night.
Although phone records
show he phoned his wife.
Call ended at 10 p.m.
Right, so after 10:00.
Hm? Murder weapon?
- What's that?
- A garrotte, Sir.
Yeah, but it's not
actually a garrotte, is it?
- Unless we're in medieval Spain.
- Oh, it-it's a cheese-wire.
For, uh, cutting cheese.
Not exactly what I'd
use to slice a pizza.
Now, where'd you find it?
There's a bunch of
cookery stuff on his desk.
Right, I'm gonna chase down
his boss, Bree Hamilton.
You check why Sterling was here so late
and get Cyber to check
his laptop and his phone.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
- Mint?
- Oh, yes. Sorry, Sir.
Thanks.
Fancy meeting you here, partner!
Sidhu.
Or shall I call you the
Berkshire angel of death?
Because somehow, here you are.
And here you are, Inspector.
I'm making a coffee. Fancy one?
No. I don't need anything from you.
I doubt that. You've
obviously slept in that suit.
There's old ketchup on your left shoe
and you have what appeared to be
Ginsters pasty crumbs on your shoulder.
- Not that I like to pry.
- Then don't.
If you'll excuse me, I'm off
to interview Bree Hamilton.
Oh, what a coincidence! I've
just become her new employee.
I can work on the case from the inside.
Or from the outside,
if you prefer, partner.
Sidhu, we are not partners.
- Last time was a one-off.
- Mm-hmm.
- And the time before that?
- Mistake. Both times.
It meant nothing!
Oh. I see.
Oh, I mean, thank you for your support,
but we're gonna take it from here.
Um, it's been a pleasure
working with you,
professionally, professionally.
Thank you.
[DOOR SHUTS]
[MINT] So what exactly are live issues?
[JADE] Live issues are
tweaks to the code.
We do them at night, so
we don't disrupt the users.
And that's what Mr. Sterling
was doing last night?
He was covering for Calvin.
I see. And what did you do?
I was at a bar. I was there all night.
Can anyone confirm that?
This is the name of the bar.
The barman knows me. You can check.
You've got one, too. What is all that?
Swag. It's a gift bag from
Laurence Galloway's company.
He's just become a major investor.
Bree sold him most of
her shares. Generous deal.
So Damien Sterling was about to be rich.
We've all got shares,
we all get rich. Richer.
Lucky us, eh?
- Double L in Galloway.
- I know.
So, you look like a
hazelnut latte kind of lady.
Hm. Plus my emergency laddoos.
Never travel without them.
Oh, um, melted ghee and gram flour,
flavoured with cardamom,
then deep-fried in oil
and steeped in syrup until
it's very, very bad for you.
Ooh! Thank you.
I've got terrible sweet tooth.
World feels better with
a laddoo inside you.
- Doesn't it?
- Mm-hmm.
Plus, you need some
sugar, for the shock.
I mean, you've been here so long,
this must feel like losing family.
Yeah, it does.
I've been with Appenda
from the beginning,
when it was just Jade and Damien and
- Uh
- And?
Well, then Calvin came after that.
And then it got crazy when Bree invested
and bought most of the company.
Suddenly we tripled in size overnight.
And with Mr. Galloway, we'll
have even more employees.
Oh, tell me about it, I mean,
ever since I doubled
my staff, the stress!
Half the hair on my head
has travelled to my chin.
[LAUGHS] Menopause
and stress is a bitch.
Mm-hmm.
So how many staff do you handle?
One. My son. All we seem to do is argue.
Oh. Yeah, I know.
There were days when they
were at each other's
Oh, please.
I was at home, working.
I thought Mr. Sterling
was covering for you.
He was. I guess I'm
just married to the job.
I logged in remotely,
we use facial recognition
and a timestamp. Look.
Oh. Any CCTV footage in the office?
Kidding? There's cameras everywhere.
[MINT CHUCKLES]
[SNIFFLES]
Oh, uh
Looks like the security
cameras were turned off
at 10 p.m. by Zazu
under Damien's credentials.
Damien Sterling turned off
the security before he died?
- Hm.
- Right. Uh
- Can I borrow your highlighter?
- Uh, oh!
Hm, luminous green for
this one, me thinks.
[GRUNTS]
- Uh, uh, uh, keep it! Really.
- Aw. Cheers!
[CHUCKLES]
[BREE] I do apologise,
Inspector, as you can imagine,
it's utter chaos here this morning.
Nice little boat.
Yes. Do you do much sailing?
[CHUCKLES] No.
Yes, I was supposed to go tomorrow.
Three weeks of freedom. But
not much chance of that now.
So I need to try and salvage
this deal with Galloway.
Oh, I thought it was all
signed and sealed last night.
Well, it was according to
the press release today.
A handshake is not the same
as a closing signature, sadly.
And with Damien's untimely demise
Yeah, well, death is
never good for business.
It's pretty good for yours, Inspector.
Well, unlike you, I
work for the public good,
not private gain.
Actually, I'm an angel.
Modesty aside, I'm still gonna need
an alibi of your
whereabouts for last night.
An angel investor, so I buy in
to small startups like Appenda
and nurture them, then I
take my profits and reinvest.
When the profits look like
plunging, no boat trip for me.
Well, tragic as that is, Ms. Hamilton,
can anyone confirm where you
were last night after you left?
Actually, Inspector, they can.
No, Janine, just listen to me, please.
No, Janine, don Put the phone
They're not worth it, you know?
- No. Who?
- Men!
Sorry. I overheard what
he said to you earlier.
"Didn't mean anything." Bloody cheek.
Oh, yeah. Bloody cheeky monkeys.
[SCOFFS] I've heard it
all, "It's not you, it's me.
It's not me, it's the tablets.
No, honestly, I tripped and fell
on the end of the vacuum cleaner."
Well, most accidents do happen at home.
Well, even the good ones let you down.
The married ones with
pregnant wives. Like Damien.
I shouldn't have said that.
But I was so disappointed.
Well, the disappointed women's
club has a lot of members.
No, I caught Damien on a dating
website yesterday, TruLove.
Nine o'clock in the bloody morning.
He swore it was an accidental click.
[SCOFFS] Maybe he tripped
and fell on the mouse.
But you believed him?
He's got a lovely
wife. About to be a dad.
He always wanted a big family.
Only child of only children.
I've known him since he
was barely a kid himself.
Yeah, but you said earlier that
diligence wasn't in his vocabulary.
So perhaps he was
going through something?
Well, what does it
matter now? He's gone.
And if Appenda goes under, we all do.
And I'm not saying anything
that's gonna make a
bad situation any worse.
One more thing, did
he always order pizza
when he was working late?
Yeah, always pepperoni.
Always from Smoking Hot.
Thank you, Pauline.
Am I right in thinking the
price of Appenda goes down
because of Damien Sterling's death,
which would be awfully convenient
for your present takeover?
I really don't like what
you're implying, Detective Mint.
Where were you between 10
p.m. and midnight last night?
At my hotel. Oh, having given
Ms. Hamilton a lift home.
But I expect you'll check that
with all parties concerned.
- Are we done?
- No.
Oh, I'd answer that if I were
you. It's your superintendent.
Oh, psychic now, are we?
No. No, I just texted him.
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
Sir?
No, but, Sir, I haven't
Sure.
Seems that will be all,
Mr. Galloway, for now.
Thank you so much.
Hope you're not planning on
leaving the country anytime soon.
[SCOFFS]
[GALLOWAY LAUGHS]
[BURTON] So De Vries told you
to back off from Galloway?
[MINT] Pfft, can vouch
for him, apparently,
because they're 19th-hole buddies.
Yeah, I'll deal with him later.
How do the other staff check out?
What?
Jade Turtle was in a bar,
but the barman can't be
sure of the exact timings.
Calvin Berenger was working from home.
Timestamped computer
systems confirm that.
Right. Laurence Galloway
and Bree Hamilton?
- Alibi each other.
- Very convenient.
[SIGHS] Hamilton's car had a flat.
Galloway gave her a lift
home before settling down
to room service at his hotel.
Right, so she can afford two cars.
Well, no other vehicles
registered to her.
We are checking taxi
firms and car services.
Uh, Pauline Kent was at home
with her mum who lives with her.
Alright.
[SIGHS] Lonely lot, aren't they?
Considering that deal was gonna
make them all stinking rich.
- Money can't buy happiness, Sir.
- No.
And poverty buys you sod all, Mint.
- Sir?
- Hm, what?
I was, uh, just going to say,
uh, Damien Sterling turned some
of the building security off
at 10 p.m..
[SIDHU] Now, that
does sound interesting.
Going to the carpark?
I found out that Damien
Sterling is not a popular man.
He and the three Appenda
partners do not get on.
Um, oh! Here, spinach
and feta-cheese parcels.
- Darling, help yourself.
- Oh!
But do you know what I find puzzling?
Why I'm still listening?
If Damien Sterling was
working while he was killed,
why was his computer closed?
How were you in there
before Forensics arrived?
Flew in on a broomstick?
And, of course, you know
he always ordered pizza
from the same place
whenever he worked late.
So obviously you've checked out
whoever delivered his
smoking-hot pepperoni
that he didn't get
to eat before he died.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Have I got something on my nose?
Going straight there, Sir?
Yeah, right behind you, Mint.
Thank you.
[ENGINE STARTS]
- Oh! Hey, Inspector, my phone.
- Oh.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[BURTON GRUNTING]
Here. Um, sorry.
[DOOR SHUTS]
[ENGINE REVVING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
[LINE RINGING]
We need to talk.
- Too late.
- Ugh.
At least we got his name, Sir.
Todd Daniels. And his
next shift is tomorrow.
Yeah, but how come we
missed it and she didn't?
Sometimes you can't see
the wood for the trees, Sir,
especially if you're lost in
a forest with a leaky shoe,
no compass and you're down to
your last sheet of bog roll.
Uh, make a call.
Put a stakeout on his
house, and get someone here
in case he comes back.
After that, just, just go home,
- get some rest, I'll see you tomorrow.
- Okay.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[SIDHU] Okay, Pops, what have we got?
[SIGHS] Not a lot, I know.
Yeah, I agree.
My gut tells me it is not
the delivery boy or girl.
But this is the one
that really bothers me.
[DOOR SHUTS]
Catch you later.
Hiya, hi.
Tez, have you ever come
across an app called TruLove?
Yeah, it's a dating app
that I've, I've never used.
And how easy would it
be to set up a profile?
It's a dating site, Mom. A horny
monkey could set up a profile.
Oh, good! It's already downloaded.
You're going on it? You can't go on it.
That's worse than you being
on Facebook. Much worse!
Well, that was easy. Hm.
- Okay, let's see.
- You better not look me up!
Oh, honestly, Tez, why do you think
the first thing I would
do is look up your
Oh, that's a terrible photo of you.
[GASPS] Could've at
least brushed your hair.
No wonder you've got
a three-star rating.
[TEZ SIGHS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[DOOR OPENS]
Bree.
Let's get started, shall we?
[EERIE MUSIC]
- Heh-heh.
- Okay.
So you've done your research.
- You can delete your profile
- There are so many people I know on here.
Raj from the newsagents,
Simmi from the petrol station.
You should ask her out, she's lovely.
Uncle Malkeet?
Uncle Malkeet?
In a mankini!
That reminds me, we need olives.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
What's that noise?
Someone wants to hook up.
- Hm?
- With my mum!
Ugh!
It's Pali from the
herbs and spices stall.
- Uh, just turn him down.
- Yeah, okay. I know what to do.
- I know what I'm doing.
- Yeah, just t
- You just swipe right!
- You just swipe lef
- And I've done it!
- It's left!
You're supposed to swipe left.
Do you know what this means?
It means I get a really big
discount on my herbs and spices?
Remember him?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Don't get jealous. My finger slipped.
I'll tell him no. Better
do some work, Pops.
Okay. Damien Sterling.
Hm, still on there.
Married man with a dating profile. Tsk.
Last active last night.
But Pauline said she caught
him on there at 9 a.m.
in the morning, which means
that his finger did not slip.
He meant to be on there.
And he was, just before he died.
Thanks, Pops.
And sorry about the finger thing.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
Mint. What?
Okay, we're on our way.
To be considered
dangerous. Wait for backup.
Yes, well, clearly,
this pizza-delivery chap
is your main suspect. He is where?
Uh, we're tracking
him, Sir. Todd Daniels.
We're staking out his home and his work.
Good. Well, carry on.
Still haven't got
Sterling's laptop back.
- Pretty crucial evidence.
- Yeah.
Well, the cyber team's all tied up with
this money-laundering swoop.
The pizza man is your best lead.
[SIGHS] Obviously, you
don't play golf with him.
- Sir.
- Thin ice, Pete.
I'm only vouching for a
friend, like I did for you.
Suspect's turned up at work,
Sir. I brought your vest.
And the next time, bring him a comb.
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
You have to understand my position.
With no Damien and with
all the bad publicity,
the present deal is just
too, it's just too risky.
I'm sorry, I'm really
sorry, but I'm out.
[BRIEFCASE SHUTS]
- Ah.
- Laurence, wait.
Let's talk about a new price.
And a new CEO.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[LAPTOP KEYS CLACKING]
Oh, I'm so sorry. Is the
smell distracting you?
No, it smells amazing.
[CHUCKLES] It's a, it's a new recipe.
My fusion breakfast butty.
Malabar spiced eggs
sealed in a hot paratha.
- Would you like to try some?
- Yeah.
Mm!
[CHUCKLING]
Thank you.
In Indian families, we eat for shock.
Actually, any excuse we eat.
Shock, joy, the cat's birthday.
I wasn't shocked about Damien.
I was just surprised. His
luck had finally ran out.
Ah. One of those toasts that
always land butter-side up?
Hm. Like, he was charmed.
Every mad risk paid off.
Plus, he knew how to market us.
So we all went along for the ride.
[UPBEAT MUSIC ON LAPTOP]
- This went viral.
- Oh.
Here comes lose it on his new phone.
Oh, no, no!
[SIDHU] Hilarious.
- Oh!
- Oh.
Who put tha Oh,
Damien! Damien, don't!
[JADE] And cruel. That was Damien.
He knew he was.
The last thing he said to us was,
"I'm gonna put things right."
What did he mean by that?
Jade, Bree needs to see you now.
Oh. Will you save it?
Of course.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
What position you play in rugby?
- Hooker, Sir.
- Hook away.
[PANTING]
Ugh! Stop! Oh
No. No, no, no.
[DAMIEN ON VIDEO] Here comes
lose it on his new phone.
Oh, Calvin!
Welcome, welcome! What do you fancy?
Uh, the Thai chicken
lollipops are very popular.
No. I'm-I'm vegetarian.
Uh, vegan, actually.
- Ah.
- Uh, is this tofu?
Please don't prod my dumplings.
I've got the vegan menu right here.
Ha. Happy days.
Some boys once did that to my son.
I threw both my shoes at
them in the playground.
It's a very fine line between
joking and bullying, isn't it?
Still, I expect Damien grew out of that.
- Well?
- Uh, I'm not hungry anymore.
Thanks.
Man doesn't want my food?
[SCOFFS] He's guilty as hell.
[TEZ] Yeah. Ha-ha! Just
gonna move it over there.
[TEZ] Does it go back?
Huh? Does it go back?
Yeah, I can get it low
as well. Look, look, look.
See on the camera
there? You can see the
You see the ripples in the water.
It's sick! It's mad!
Yeah, let me go back. I'll
go back, I can go back.
Fast, innit? Check this, check this.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- Yes.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Oh, hi.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
- Wow, mate!
- [WHIRRING]
[SPLASHES]
Ah! Sorry, man!
[TEZ SIGHS]
Well, I-I can make it up to you!
I can work for you, maybe?
I'm well up on anything techy.
Yeah? Alright, what languages you got?
English, obviously, and what
my mum callsthoothali Punjabi.
- That means really bad Punjabi.
- Computing languages.
Now, what about Python? PHP? Ruby?
Right, yeah.
I don't suppose there's
a way of making money
without all the technical stuff?
Maybe. Yeah.
Actually, come this way,
I might have something
that'll work for you.
- Pal.
- Yeah?
Me? CEO?
You're the obvious heir to the throne.
- Damien's throne.
- Oh.
Damien wasn't special. He
was pushy and he was a man.
He made this place in his own image.
Wouldn't you like to make it in yours?
[INHALES SHARPLY]
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
[CALVIN CLEARS THROAT]
All alright?
Not really. I've just been offered CEO.
Congratulations.
You think?
[GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]
Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ah
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
Ah.
Let's go.
[PANTING]
[NUMBER PAD BEEPS]
[LINE RINGING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Do you recognise that?
- Heh.
Deliver enough of them.
Well, your boss said
you delivered a pizza
to Damien Sterling at 10 p.m..
That was around the
time he was murdered.
No. No, listen. I got there,
but the order was cancelled.
So I never went in the
building. Check my phone.
Yes, but you never called it in.
[TODD] They got an account, that lot got
so much dosh, they don't even notice.
Yeah, well, according to the
location tag on your phone,
you didn't leave the tech
park until 10:30 p.m.. Why?
And why did you run when we arrived?
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
At the moment, I've got a
pizza topped with pepperoni
and a dead man and you.
So you better start talking quickly.
I hooked up with someone.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
How can I help?
You promised CEO to me! You promised!
Yeah. Stop bleating. This
is just damage limitation.
Bree insisted on Jade.
It was a deal-breaker.
We had a deal! I did what you
asked. And now you've broken it.
Everything's broken!
It's all on here,
the-the corrupted codes,
the back door into Appenda's systems,
every inside secret I've passed
on to you over the last six months.
And I've made copies.
Ooh. Blackmail, eh?
Well, go on, then.
After everything you've done,
you'll be going down with me.
[SIGHS] It-it just got out of hand.
This wasn't supposed to happen!
I see him, Damien, dying.
Every night it's on a loop
in my head, and it won't stop.
- How can I make it stop?
- You fix it.
You cover your tracks
and you fix this mess
before someone else finds it.
Then, my son, you'll be a man,
and, perhaps, worthy
of becoming the new CEO.
We clear?
Good. Off you pop.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
I'm sorry to interrupt, we've
had some new information come in
and need to ask some further questions.
[MINT] Jade Turtle, would
you come with me, please?
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[DOOR OPENS]
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
Inspector?
I am literally in the
middle of an investigation.
Yes, I know, but I have what I
think is some very
important information.
No, I can't deal with this today.
About
Right now I'm a straw man.
One more puff and I'll blow away.
And you are saying I am the puffer?
[DOOR SHUTS]
[BLOWS A RASPBERRY]
So Todd Daniels.
We met up, did drugs.
[BREE] He had quite a
selection. Slept together.
I'm not keen for any
of that to be on my CV.
What bothers you the
most, the drugs, the sex?
Or the fact that he's half my age?
No, what bothers me is
that you didn't tell us
that you were with the last man
to see Damien Sterling alive.
[BREE] I didn't know that.
So you hung around
until 10:30 p.m.
Did you see anything before
you left the tech park?
The whole night was a bit blurry.
But I do know I went home with
Todd and I woke up with him
and I met his really pissed-off
mother in the bathroom.
I had mediocre sex with a boy
who still lives with his mum.
That really should be
the crime, shouldn't it?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
[KNOCKING]
Your ex got the house, didn't she?
I, um, have a mound of
leftovers to cook up.
I hate waste. Don't you?
[TEZ] I ain't finished eating!
Well, hurry up then!
- Aren't you going out tonight?
- Not now. I got work.
Work? You?
Hm. I got a job at the tech park.
- Told you I'd look after you.
- Arey waah!
My son, the computer genius.
Doing what exactly? Uh
"I really love this 50-inch OLED TV.
The picture is sharp and the
colours are great. Five stars!"
But we don't have a
50-inch OLED TV. Do we, Tez?
Fake reviews? Have you no shame?
Yeah, I couldn't get your
shower to work in the
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
How much shame don't I have, Mom?
Oof, no. I am stuffed.
- Good. More?
- I'll burst.
Oh, good. More?
- Is she always a feeder?
- Yeah.
So what?
Uh, look, really, I'm done. Thank you.
Okay.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Go on then. How did you
know it wasn't the pizza boy?
I'm so glad you asked, partner.
There was no cheese from the
pizza on Damien Sterling's face,
which means when he fell
into it, it was cold.
Now, given that the company
deliver hot or your money back,
it means that the pizza-delivery man
was long gone when Damien died.
Ah, but the pizza was cancelled.
So how did one end up on his desk?
Exactly. Hold that thought.
[CHUCKLES] Now,
Damien Sterling is working late.
He's got his pizza, he's got his laptop,
and somebody surprises him from behind.
Now, given that the laptop
was closed when he was found,
did he do this?
[IMITATING CHOKING]
Maybe less theatrically.
Or someone else.
Maybe the killer
did this.
But why do you close your laptop?
'Cause you're watching porn
or some sleazy webcam action.
You're welcome.
There was something
there they didn't want us
to see. Blackmail?
Jade said the last thing
Damien said to his colleagues
is that he wanted to
put something right.
[SIDHU] Does that sound
like a guilty conscience?
[SIGHS] So who was the blackmailer?
- And who was the blackmailee?
- And who was the blackmailee?
Brainstorm break. Pudding, anyone?
So do I call him Inspector Uncle now?
Oh, don't be silly.
[SIDHU] My pops, yournanaji,
used to fall asleep like this
after a shift, still in his uniform.
Let him sleep.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[DOOR SHUTS]
[DOOR OPENS]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Morning, Mrs. Ramgharia. Sleep well?
I didn't.
[GASPS]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Psst! You got the gear?
Mn-mn. I got a Tupperware
tax on this one.
What?
You seem to be the only
person who believes that
Damien wouldn't cheat on his wife.
And yet you caught him
on a dating website.
You said you wouldn't mention that.
Yes, well, the police believe
that he was being blackmailed,
and I wanna believe that it wasn't you.
I haven't said anything yet.
What makes you so sure that
he wasn't seeing another woman?
Because it was a man!
And I wasn't blackmailing Damien.
I was just letting him know how
much I value my job security.
Zazu is an electronic
personal assistant.
So who needs me anymore?
And they always get rid of the
old women first. You know that.
Hm. Why do you think I've
got my own business, darling?
I don't suppose you
remember the name of the man
who was on that site?
I looked it up later that night myself.
You're on TruLove?
Well, one of many.
It's really hard to
meet people, you know?
And even though there's so much choice,
you-you're just swiping,
hoping that you see something you fancy.
I know. It's like ordering pizza.
[CHUCKLES]
"Youssef Omar."
Last seen online the day Damien died.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- Sergeant.
- Sir? Okay.
Find out what you can
about Youssef Omar on this dating site.
[MINT] Hm. Nice. If you
like that sort of thing.
Well, a little birdy tells
me Damien Sterling did.
[CHUCKLES] An alpha macho
male hiding in the closet?
Hmph. Do you think someone found
out and was blackmailing him?
Could be. Could be the
reason why he stayed late.
Burton, a quick chat?
I'll get on it.
[BURTON SIGHS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
[BURTON SIGHS]
Why have you charged Todd Daniels
with selling drugs, but not murder?
Why haven't you released a tech team
to decrypt our victim's laptop?
- Sir?
- Chippy, aren't we?
Is that because you've
finally had a shower?
Sir
Al, I appreciate everything
that you've done for me.
When I messed up, you,
quite rightly, demoted me.
But beyond friendship,
even golfing pals,
we're coppers, aren't we?
Now, I can't charge Daniels until I see
the inside of Sterling's laptop,
which was conveniently
closed when we found him dead.
Was it, indeed? Well
You better go and kick
some cyber butt, then.
Yeah, I've no idea what that means.
Yes, you can have somebody on it pronto!
Do I have to explain all
my pithy one-liners to you?
Bugger off!
- Okay, where'd you get this?
- I have a source on the inside.
As I'm an actual police officer
and not an annoying, interfering cook
I prefer chef.
I am ordering you to tell
me who your source is.
Or what? You'll arrest me again?
No, you tell me what you know.
Right, it's called catfishing.
They set up a fake
profile to lure someone in.
Ah, so you think that's what
this Youssef Omar's doing?
No, that's the point. This
isn't Youssef, it's someone else.
Now, the dating app already
had the profile flagged
as a possible fake, but
there are messages here
between Damien and fake Youssef
arranging to meet the
night that he was killed.
So someone was blackmailing
Damien for being gay?
[SIDHU] Somebody in the company?
Yeah, well, it could be anyone.
Anyway, big meeting. Gotta
go. I'll report back later.
What? No, you said you would tell me
Oh, and, uh, by the way,
I'm loving our back and forth
telephone banter. It's
really working, isn't it?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
That croquembouche was the
best I've ever, ever had. Bravo.
Uh, ladies and gentlemen, thank
you all very much for coming.
[GALLOWAY] Whilst I know we're
all still in deep mourning
for the passing of the
brilliant Damien Sterling
but life and Appenda must go on.
It's what Damien would have wanted,
to continue to build the company
he's dedicated his life to.
So now that we have a
deal firmly in place,
Bree and I are delighted to announce
that the new CEO of Appenda is
Jade Turtle!
[APPLAUSE]
Congratulations.
Thank you.
But I don't want it.
[CHUCKLING]
Heh. I'm sorry?
And it should go to
someone who obviously does.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Well, following my projections,
and in the third quarter,
we're gonna see user numbers surge.
Oh, delicious. Oh, uh, is that tuna?
Um, yes.
Oh, oh, uh, please, uh,
this is the vegan tray.
I do apologise.
Oh, excuse me. Thank you very much.
Well, things seem to have worked
out pretty well for both of us.
You're throwing everything away.
- Why?
- Why do you care?
You only need a CEO, so
Galloway can pay you off
before you move on. Lucky you.
Rethink this, please.
I can reinstate you.
Take all the time you need.
Believe me, I am very patient.
If you sit by the river long enough,
you will watch the body
of your enemy float by.
- One of your company mottos?
- [CHUCKLES]
Confucius, actually.
- Well?
- Sit as long as you want.
I'm out.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
- Refill.
- And what's the magic word?
My mum would say that.
It's please and thank you.
I presume you've closed
up our little loophole?
Nearly. I was up all night
trying to finish off at home.
Hard to do it here with people around.
Well, now everyone's out here,
why don't you go and finish
it when you can slope off?
Hm.
Ah, quite a surprise.
Revenge of the nerd.
- Yeah.
- Those lot deserve each other.
Thank you.
Now would be a good time.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
What did they get off Sterling's laptop?
Uh, Cyber's still wading
through a load of stuff.
Right, which I presume you wrote down.
I tried, Sir.
But some of the words, they
don't even sound English.
- Human! Not even Vulcan!
- Alright, calm down.
Put it into words that a man who can't
even work his TV
remote could understand.
- Me.
- Oh, thanks, Sir.
There's a bloody big hole
in the Zazu security server.
Compromises all the company secrets.
And since Damien was working
on security checks the night he died
He either put it there himself
or somebody else did
and then he found it.
- We have a name, written down.
- Ah.
[DAMIEN ON VIDEO] Not so
fast, bro, this is cold.
It says on the box, "If it's
not hot, then it's free."
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Please, no!
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
Just through here? Thank you very much!
- [KNOCKING ON DOOR]
- Uh, yeah?
Hi! I just wanted to bring
my own congratulations.
It's, um, vegan, of course.
Thanks. I'm a little busy.
Oh, shall I just, um,
just leave it here then?
- Uh, oh!
- Oh, I am so sorry.
That must have been stuck
to my apron. Uh, please
No! Uh, please, don't touch my keyboard.
- Sorry.
- Uh
Ugh. Uh
Oh. What would you do
without your trusty pencil?
I can't handle touching
anything deceased.
Hm, interesting you did
exactly that when you were asked
to wake Damien up, but you
hadn't even touched him.
So how did you know he was already dead?
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
Anyway, enjoy your carrot cake with
[INTENSE MUSIC]
coconut-frosted icing.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Calvin Berenger, can I have a word?
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[DOOR SHUTS]
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[BEEPING]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[SIGHS]
[BOX THUDS]
[LIGHTER CLICKS]
On the night he died,
Damien Sterling said
he was gonna put something right.
It was your computer code, wasn't it?
You know there are multiple
security flaws in the system.
My guess is that Damien Sterling
discovered your incompetence
when he was checking the live
issues on the night he died.
You're not very good at this
programming lark, are you?
My code is immaculate!
Did that discovery make you
angry enough to kill Damien Sterling?
Don't say another word, Calvin.
Appenda do not acknowledge that
Zazu has any security flaws.
And we will sue anyone
who insinuates otherwise
before we've had the opportunity
to do our own due diligence.
So if you have any realistic charges
to bring to any of my staff, bring them.
Otherwise, please get off the premises.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[SIGHS]
Got a bit of a problem, boss.
Haye!
[GROANING]
- Mm.
- What are you doing?
My feet hurt. I've been on them all day.
- Did Calvin confess?
- To what? Get off the car!
No, no, no, I saw
something incriminating
on Calvin's laptop.
I think I saw Damien Sterling
and a picture of some birds.
I definitely saw something.
Oh, you saw something.
She saw something.
Yes, which is why we have to go back
in there right now and get it!
We are not going near anyone's computer.
Not now!
They've lawyered up.
We'd need a warrant.
Thank God we've got Sterling's
laptop as crime-scene evidence.
Let's just hope there's enough
on there to secure something.
You're talking like
you actually believe me.
I believe you saw something.
Something we can't follow up on.
I don't even have an
accurate time of death
to match with the suspects' alibis.
Ah, God, I could murder a pizza.
Smoking hot, or your money back.
Have you got time to come
and do a little experiment
in exchange for some biryani?
[SIGHS]
Stopwatch started?
- Check. Filming ready?
- Check.
- Tez, ready?
- Do I have to?
Yes, for the crime of lying
to strangers on the Internet,
put your face in that pizza now!
Hm!
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Five minutes, and up.
Hm
Nope. Wipe. Again.
- Go.
- Ah.
- Ah.
- No.
- Again.
- Pfft!
[SIDHU] Twenty minutes. Up.
Not quite. Five more minutes.
Turn the pizza. Again.
Twenty-five minutes. Up.
Ah.
[SPITTING]
[CHUCKLES] Yeah.
Damien Sterling's
pizza was sitting around
for between 20 and 25 minutes.
And the original pizza as
we know was cancelled
Obviously, by the killer.
Who then re-ordered another pizza
to deliver to Sterling.
So the killer must live
between 20 and 25 minutes away.
And the pizza place will have a record
of all the orders placed that night.
- Good work, Sidhu.
- Thanks, partner.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
You staying another night, then?
[SIGHS] Look, Tez, me
and your mum, we're
- What?
- Friends.
And that's it.
Whatever.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC ON TV]
[SIGHS] She looks nice.
Tsk. Fighting 'em off, geezer.
[SIGHS]
Yeah, she's nice.
She got a dog.
Always wanted a dog.
I used to have a dog.
Died?
No. Divorce.
You married your dog?
My ex-wife, she got the dog.
Yeah.
Yeah, I miss her.
The dog?
Whatever.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON TV]
- Pass us your phone.
- What?
Nothing evil, I swear.
[SIGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
Time to get back on the dog.
Bike.
Whatever.
[SIGHS] Oh!
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Ugh, honestly, that Mrs.
Bhandari can talk for the Punjab.
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
It's Pali. He keeps messaging me. Hm.
Ah.
What did you just do?
I just told him I was cooking aubergine.
Good.
[CELL PHONE CHIMING]
Did you use the emoji for aubergine?
No. I used three.
I'm about to cook a lot of aubergine.
God, you had to go on there, didn't you?
- You just had to!
- What's got into you?
I'm the one who has to deal
with all the gossip about you!
Hey, you are on a very high horse
for someone who writes fake reviews.
[DOOR SHUTS]
If you wanna cut dad out of
the picture, you go ahead!
Tez, that is so unfair!
I don't wanna
cut him out of the picture.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Really, Pauline?
TruLove on company time?
Sorry, Bree. I was just browsing.
You know what it's like for
us ladies of a certain age.
No, I don't.
And I'm not that desperate, love.
Wow. That was a bit
unnecessary, wasn't it?
[SIDHU] I thought you
two were quite close.
Closed. That's a better word for Bree.
She's probably just stressed.
We all are. Lawyers everywhere.
All been told not to talk
to anyone about anything.
Anyway, how can I help?
Ah, what do the numbers
on those mugs mean?
Oh, all founding members had one made
in order of when they
joined the company.
Oh, so you are the hundredth?
- No, fourth.
- Oh, binary numbers.
Vaguely remember those
from my maths O-levels.
So the only founding members
are you, Jade, Damien and Calvin?
Yup.
Mind if I borrow this for a minute?
[BURTON] So tell me
about Laurence Galloway.
'Cause according to this,
he's had a string of losses
which you must've known about.
Yet he's still managed to buy you up?
Well, frankly, I was surprised
when he bid for Appenda.
We thought he could only raise
about half our share price offer.
Yeah, but then, of
course, the price dropped
almost by half.
That was after Mr. Sterling died.
Yes, but Laurence had already
made the initial offer.
He couldn't have known in advance that
Damien was going to be murdered.
Couldn't he?
I think that's about all I can help
you with for the moment, Inspector.
Well, thank you very much for your time.
Everyone.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[DOOR SHUTS]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Sir, an initial deep dive into
Appenda's accounts has struck gold.
We've got regular illegal payments
being received by an employee totalling
111,000 pounds.
- Cup of chai?
- Oh, thanks.
And, um, where was this photo taken?
Oh, in the basement.
When Appenda started five years ago,
they could only afford
to rent one floor.
It's just storage now.
And why is Calvin not in the photo?
Oh. He joined after
After?
Later.
You know, I could actually do
with some extra storage space
for my, um, supplies.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Hm.
Don't eat it all at
Okay then. Hm.
[AL COUGHS]
[CHUCKLES] Nice try, fella.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[SNIFFLES]
Oh, God! Sorry, Al, have you got to go?
No, Laurence. I think you do.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
So we gather you've been in
financial freefall for some time.
And we think you hired
Calvin Berenger to plant flaws
within the company system
to get a cheaper deal.
What we can't work out is why he agreed
and what you offered him in return.
No comment.
[SIGHS] Right. What was the idea?
You announce you'd found the flaws,
negotiate a better price for yourself,
and then give Calvin a fat promotion?
No comment.
- No comment.
- No comment.
Damien Sterling was about
to find out, wasn't he?
So you gave him a nice, little gift
which turned out to be not
so bad for your deal either.
N-now hang on a bloody
minute. I didn't kill anyone.
Yeah, well, you can't be that skint
because we know you've
been making regular payments
to Calvin Berenger
through a shell company.
Do you need to see the receipts?
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
No comment?
I think
I need to get my lawyer.
I know he should go down
for generally being a knob.
- But he's not the killer, is he?
- Nah.
Blokes like that don't
get their hands dirty.
Plus, he'll pay for a reduced sentence.
- Hm.
- Let's try Calvin Berenger?
[CELL PHONE CHIMES]
Oh, hang on.
Match for a stolen-vehicle
report from three years ago.
This make any sense to you?
Not yet. Let's go to Grovebank.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Please, no.
[CHOKING]
[DAMIEN CHOKING]
How exactly did you get a hold of this?
We, we made a pact a while back.
Whenever one of us logs
in to the Zazu system,
it uses facial
recognition and records us.
What, the whole time you're working?
It was Damien's idea.
He didn't want anyone outside
the core team touching the code.
It was his way to control
that, but he thought
he was the only one with
access to the footage.
So you hacked it. Why?
[SIGHS]
Because I had to make sure
Damien wouldn't see that
[SIGHS] I've been
messing up Zazu's code.
- The police were right?
- I'm sorry.
I-I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean for anyone to get hurt.
Galloway promised it would be clean,
and his people would find
the flaws during due diligence
and the price would plummet,
and then he'd make me CEO.
I don't know, maybe he did it.
Maybe he killed him. Oh, God.
[SOBBING]
All this, just to sit
in the big boy's chair.
- Has anyone else seen this?
- No, God, no.
I-I tried to show
Jade the morning after,
but I was scared.
[SIGHS] But I can't
live with it anymore.
I don't know what to do, Bree.
Should we show the police?
No.
Don't show this to anyone. Let me think.
You go home, get some rest.
Leave it with me.
[SIGHS]
[EERIE MUSIC]
[DOOR SHUTS]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
Found you.
Hello, Mike.
His name is Michael Summerby.
I loved him.
And Damien Sterling killed him.
[MUSIC CONTINUES]
[INTENSE MUSIC]
Mike was one of us.
The original gang of three.
[JADE] Him, me and Damien.
Together we were fierce.
I was air, all free-floating ideas,
Damien was fire, bossy,
make-it-happen guy,
and Mike was water,
deep and sensitive even though
he was this big hairy biker.
Too sensitive.
You needed some earth in there.
Yeah.
[SIGHS] About five
years ago when we decided
to raise 30K each somehow and
start building the company,
me and Mike had to work like dogs,
but Damien announces that his
auntie has conveniently died
and left him a pile of cash.
Oh, but I'm sure Pauline told me
that both Damien's
parents were only children.
Maybe that was a lie, too.
Who knows, Damien told so many.
That's why he and Mike
started falling out.
Mike was convinced
that all Damien's funds
which kept magically appearing
were from dodgy sources, illegal even.
And that's when Damien
started to erase Mike.
Gaslighting him.
Every idea Mike had was dismissed.
Every mistake made was somehow Mike's.
Damien made his life hell until he quit.
Mike lost himself
and, uh, then he killed himself.
Oh, darling. Tsk.
I'm so sorry.
- But you can't blame yourself.
- Oh, but I can.
I abandoned Mike when
he couldn't keep up.
Stuck my head in the
sand and took the money
over love.
I had love, so much of it, but I
didn't realise it was priceless.
Yeah.
We often realise this far too late.
The doves,
are they something to do
with the company or Damien?
God, no. Damien used
to tease us about them.
Mike had the same tattoo
because of my name.
Jade Turtle.
Turtle doves. The
symbol of eternal love.
The perfect match.
Like TruLove.
I didn't kill Damien.
But I'm glad he's dead.
What does that make me?
Not guilty.
And human.
[SIGHS]
[CELL PHONE VIBRATING]
Looks like they've finally decrypted
Damien Sterling's hard drive, Sir.
Yeah. And?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Yeah, that's just the beginning.
- You leave my mum alone!
- Slow down, tiger.
- She swiped right.
- I'll swipe you right.
Right in your face,
if you don't back off.
No problem. I don't want any trouble.
I'm a lover, not a fighter.
[CHUCKLES]
[PANTING]
That one was for you, Dad.
And this one's for you, Mum.
[PANTING]
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
- I've worked it out.
- I think you'll find I have.
[BURTON] We've decrypted
Sterling's hard drive and
It all leads back to
TruLove, doesn't it?
Yeah. How did Never mind.
We found all the messages
from Youssef Omar,
hundreds, going years back, but
Damien wasn't receiving them.
He wasn't being blackmailed.
- Yeah, that's right, he was
- The blackmailer.
- He was sending them.
- [BURTON]That's right, to
Dozens of lonely women. He'd
been scamming them for years.
- Yeah, and he called them
- His little doves.
You're really sucking
the joy out of this.
- Aren't you?
- Go on then.
[BURTON] Well, Damien
was desperate for cash
to raise his stake in the company,
so he invented the heart-rending story
of a North African
refugee, Youssef Omar.
Now, once he's made his money,
Damien deletes the profile,
thinking he's got away scot-free.
But one of his victims
was not to be messed with,
and she tracks him down and
The blackmailer becomes the blackmailee.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
When did you work out who
sent Damien the message?
[SIDHU] Who's lonely enough
to fall for a love scam,
and who would be so humiliated,
she'd kill to avenge it?
Who was rich enough to hire
private detectives to hunt down
her scammer, to swoop in
and buy out his company,
and then circled until
it was time to bite?
If you sit by the river long enough,
you will watch the body
of your enemy float by.
[SIDHU] So she waits until the
biggest payday of Damien's life,
recreates the Youssef Omar profile
and sends Damien a message.
That night she gave herself an alibi.
She orders a pizza to her home address,
then delivers it back to Appenda.
She wears a helmet to hide her face,
but she wanted him to know
why he was going to die.
- Then she killed him.
- Please, no!
[SIDHU] Her mistake was one
that a chef would never make.
The pizza was cold.
So my only question is how did
she get to Grovebank so fast?
[BURTON] On a motorbike.
Now, she reported it stolen,
but we reckon she stashed it.
Oh, that explains it.
So what do we do now?
You do nothing, Sidhu.
[CALVIN] No! Help!
[CALVIN GROANING]
Who's that? Where are you?
[BURTON] Oh, Jesus. What's going on?
I warn you. I'm armed and menopausal.
Don't mess with me!
[CALVIN CHOKING] No, no, no!
I think you better get to the
underground carpark at Grovebank
as fast as you can, Inspector.
[CALVIN CHOKING] No, no, no!
[EERIE MUSIC]
Ah, no. Uh, uh
I know you're there.
[CALVIN COUGHING]
Bree, there's nowhere to hide.
The police are on their way
Ow! Bloody hell!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[CLACKING]
Oh. New regulation handcuffs?
The real ones will
be arriving very soon.
Excellent, though, I'm a bit annoyed
to be giving myself up to the
crappiest crime-fighting duo
since Scooby Doo and Shaggy.
[BREE] First drink in the decade.
It's my reward for a
job well done, finally.
You've been planning this for years,
haven't you?
Watching, waiting
with a false name on the TruLove site.
Otherwise, Damien would never
have catfished the shark.
Don't call it that.
Like, Damien was pulling
some cute laddy prank.
Call it what it was. Lies,
extortion, humiliation.
And it happens every day
to thousands of people,
and the police do nothing.
[INTENSE MUSIC]
No, of-of course I am.
I understand you had to do something,
but your Confucius fellow also said,
when a man embarks on
a journey of revenge,
he ought to dig two graves.
And what about a woman?
Because the-the victims
are mostly women.
And that's why you figured it out
before the real detective did,
because you know what
it's like to be erased
dismissed.
And you're furious about it as well.
Am I right?
Yes.
But not enough to kill
and cause so much pain.
Oh, please, you're bloody loving this,
wading through the
dark side, shoe in hand.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
Be woman enough to own it.
[TIRES SCREECHING]
It's who you are, Mrs. Sidhu.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Bree Hamilton, I'm arresting you
Oh, save your lungs,
love. Which car am I in?
I need to call my legal team as well.
Arrest on suspicion of double murder.
Thank God. There's a
body behind the car.
- Oh!
- Sidhu, you okay?
immediately needed
at Grovebank carpark.
- [INHALES SHARPLY]
- [SCREAMING]
[COUGHS] Yo, you spat in my mouth!
- I was doing CPR!
- Please don't!
- I won't!
- Thank you!
You're welcome!
Make that one murder
and one attempted murder.
What did she say? I'm gonna
need you to make a statement.
If you're up for it.
She dug two graves and she enjoyed it.
- Eh?
- Do you know what? Actually
Do you mind if we do
statements tomorrow?
- I really need to go home.
- Sure, tomorrow.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
Uh, Sidhu.
[KEYS JINGLING]
[DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR SHUTS]
[TAP WATER RUNNING]
[DOOR SHUTS]
Busy day?
Quite. You?
Yeah.
Well, I hope you'll drop the
money for that to Pali tomorrow.
He's not even my type.
I don't even know if I've
got a type, or want one,
but as a woman standing in my own power,
I will make that choice.
And I'll only ever have one darling son.
You know that, don't you?
Tez?
[TEZ HUMMING]
Sorry, you say something, ma?
No.
Nothing.
[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC]
[MUSIC CONTINUES]