Nip/Tuck s01e03 Episode Script

Previously on Nip / Tuck: - I fixed your clog.
- Yeah? And I found this.
Does it turn you off that I'm not circumcised? No, not at all.
What are you doing? I'm moving back in.
So, you're telling me you've only had two previous cosmetic surgeries.
Two, yes.
My nose to correct a deviated septum and my jaw to fix a slight overbite.
Mr.
Diamond, do you make a good living impersonating Michael Jackson? Yes.
I have a condo here in Miami.
But I'm in Vegas 45 weeks a year.
I'm a headliner.
How else do you think I can afford another deviated septum operation? And it looks like Michael's just had another one.
He's such a beautiful person.
Well, how about a bleaching peel then? Mr.
Diamond, I'm gonna be honest with you.
You need to stop having surgeries.
Particularly rhinoplasties.
What's more important to you? Looking like your idol, or breathing? Excuse me, Christian.
Sean has a consult waiting in his office.
He called and asked if you could step in.
He has an emergency at home.
- What kind of emergency? - Didn't say.
Liz, if you'll escort Mr.
Diamond out, please.
I loved you in The Wiz.
Dr.
Troy, I have been waiting in the lobby for 20 minutes! Mrs.
Grubman, you didn't have an appointment.
But, as you know, I'm always here for you.
Tell me about your problem.
The problem is, I don't know how you expect me to recover from a tummy tuck on shitty sheets.
Mrs.
Grubman, the sheets in our recovery center are 250-count Frette.
I picked them out myself.
You call them 250-count.
I call them sandpaper.
Frette sheets are hotel sheets, and I'm sorry, but if I'm gonna heal I need comfort, not durability.
Mrs.
Grubman, how do you feel about Pratesi, 400-count? Dr.
Troy, I expect nothing less.
What's going on, Matt? Are you okay? I'm gonna be fine, Mom.
Right? I'm gonna be fine.
Take the ice pack off.
Let me see.
I changed your diaper hundreds of times.
I've seen it.
Come on.
You took a chunk out of your foreskin and lacerated the opening of your urethra.
I can apply a slight pressure bandage.
That'll get you through the next couple of hours.
And then what? And then, later today, you're coming into the office and I'm gonna give you a proper circumcision.
- No shit? - On one condition.
You start communicating with me.
If there's something about your body you want changed, a nipple ring, whatever we talk it out before you try self-mutilation.
And if you have questions about sex, for instance how to find and stimulate the clitoris, you come to me.
I want to be involved in your life, Matt.
Deal? Deal.
Miss Babcock, tell me what you don't like about yourself.
Everything.
- Dr.
Troy? - Yes.
Grace Santiago.
I'm the new psychologist.
We have one already: Dr.
Pendleton.
I guess he didn't work out.
I don't want to intrude.
I can come back.
No, please.
Have a seat.
Hi.
Grace.
Nice to meet you.
Miss Babcock, tell me specifically what you're interested in having done.
I need liposuction under my chin.
Everywhere.
I hate the bump on my nose.
I hate my breasts.
And my stomach has stretch marks.
They make me sick.
I'd like those to go away.
Dr.
Troy, could I see Miss Babcock's patient form? Miss Babcock, you're interested in changing a lot of things.
I've been saving up my money for this.
I drove all the way here from Port Lucy.
I'm going to my 10-year class reunion in a month.
I want to go as a new person.
Someone they don't recognize as a girl they used to call "Sasquatch.
" I think we can send you off to that class reunion feeling better about yourself.
Really? You'll help me? Thank you so much.
I can't tell you how No food 12 hours before surgery.
Matt, you've never even had your tonsils out.
Are you sure you wanna do this? It's important to me, Mom.
- And Dad agrees, so - No, I don't agree.
What you did has to be corrected by a professional.
I'm doing your circumcision out of medical necessity.
Before we leave, you need to shave your genital region.
Carefully.
And the humiliations just keep on coming, don't they? I don't like this.
He'll be fine.
I promise.
I'll get it.
Good morning.
Officer Stone.
Miami-Dade Police Department.
Come on in.
May I speak to Julia McNamara, please? I'm Julia McNamara.
Is there a problem? Actually, yes.
Mrs.
McNamara, the State of Florida has a huge problem with anybody who would torture and kill an animal.
Your plumber has notified us about his discovery and filed a complaint.
- I'll get my purse.
- Mrs.
McNamara, I'm not arresting you.
See, in this state, killing an animal is not a crime.
It's a misdemeanor.
So you have the choice of attending an animal anger management class or paying a $5,000 fine.
Detective, a huge mistake has been made here.
My wife won't even let me put a bug zapper in the backyard.
She didn't kill anything.
Yes, Sean, I did.
Julia killed Frisky.
This is very disturbing to me.
That she's capable of that.
I've got a son who tried to cut off his penis a wife who flushed a gerbil.
It's like I've moved back into Hell House.
So are we gonna communicate at all today or are you gonna continue to pout like a 6-year-old? Kiss my tan, waxed ass, Sean.
Why did you fire Pendleton without consulting me? That was wrong.
I should have checked with you first.
But I was justified.
I fired him because he's a racist.
Bullshit.
You fired him because you weren't the most brilliant kid on the playground anymore, and that bugged the shit out of you.
I think our clientele would, in many cases, be more comfortable discussing their concerns with someone of the same gender.
This hire might just be a boost in the marketplace.
You know, Sean, I'm gonna throw you this bone because hiring a shrink gives you a moral comfort zone.
If you need it to stay in this profession with me, fine.
I'll take that bullet.
But be honest here.
Admit you hired Grace Santiago because you want to get into her pants.
Uncle Chris, what are you doing here? You're the most important patient we've ever operated on, Matty.
We're just taking extra precautions, that's all.
Okay, guys.
Ready when you are.
I'm afraid.
You're gonna be fine, Matt.
I wouldn't do this unless I could guarantee that.
I want you to count back from 10, okay? Okay.
Ten, nine All right, let's do this.
Clamp.
Hemostat.
Scalpel.
Let me do it.
You're nervous.
That's understandable.
I'm fine.
I want to do this.
It's okay.
We'll trade.
You do Grubman's tummy tuck afterwards.
I'll do Matt.
Dr.
Troy, I have the results of Nanette Babcock's blood prelim.
She didn't test positive for lithium or any similar generic.
How nobly efficient of you.
I'm just trying to do my job.
Well, your job is not necessary.
Is there a problem? A potential patient's blood prelim just came back.
In good conscience, I don't see how we operate on a manic-depressive resisting drug therapy.
I would agree with that diagnosis.
Sean, I need to speak to you in my office.
Now.
This how it'll be? You'll listen to Salsa Spice over the judgment of your partner? Since we've agreed to hire a psychologist we're obliged to follow that person's expert advice.
Particularly when the medical history sets off an alarm.
Nanette Babcock could benefit from some select surgeries.
Sometimes giving a nose job changes their lives in more profound ways than a lifetime of mood controllers.
We can't take on every patient who files through our doors.
You forgetting what happened a month ago? Are you saying I have no ethics? I'm saying you have a history of liking your money.
Screw you, Sean.
I have a discriminating eye.
Today, I turned down Michael Jackson.
You know the dangers inherent in manic-depressive patients.
You want medical stats, how about this one? Women who have breast implants are three times more likely to kill themselves than women who don't.
Does that mean we're not stuffing any more tits in this office? I'm sure you'll agree that now is not the time to flirt with any degree of risk.
Dr.
Santiago made the right call here.
Do you want to call Miss Babcock, or should I have her do it? Hello? Miss Babcock, it's Dr.
Troy.
I'm afraid we can't do your surgeries on Monday.
But I can't reschedule.
I'm on deadline for my reunion.
I'll barely heal in time from the bruising as it is now.
I'm not calling to reschedule.
Miss Babcock? Look, I know I'm fat.
But I have been working my ass off, literally.
Nurse Linda told me to try and lose that I would recover faster if I did.
And I'm trying.
That's not the reason we're not gonna do your surgeries.
Then why aren't you, then? You said you could make me look better! I need to look better! Miss Babcock, we're declining your case because we feel like you have unrealistic expectations.
But every doctor has their own criteria.
I'd like to recommend my colleague, Dr.
Martin Hargrove.
I don't have time to do a consultation and the scheduling all over again! I need to look different now! You stop playing mind games with me.
If you want me to pay more money, I'll pay it.
It's not about money, Miss Babcock, it's- I hope you get cancer! Did it hurt? You were worth it.
The stitches come out next week.
We can do it anytime after that.
Matt, have you urinated yet, today? Buzzkill.
- Later.
- Bye.
Why do you want to see this? I had to suture your urinarius.
I wanna be sure there's no blood in the urine.
That could be a sign of internal hemorrhaging.
And I want to be here to support you.
Why do I need that? The first time you pee, after an operation of this nature it's gonna feel like you're pissing fire.
Just press down on my hand and scream if you want.
Nobody's gonna judge you.
I don't need to hold your hand, Dad.
And just give me some privacy? Vanessa's a little hardbody, Matt.
Looks like you're dating a future prom queen.
Congratulations.
I can't dance.
Okay, let's come back in an hour then.
No, I I really can't dance.
You're right about the prom thing.
She's already asked me to go.
And I don't know how to dance.
Well, that's okay.
Neither could I.
You just say, "Not my thing.
" This works? I didn't even have to dance at my own wedding.
Women like it when there's some mystery there.
Thanks.
Shit, it's coming! Hand.
- Hello? - Where are you? We have a his-and-her lipo in half an hour.
Car trouble.
I'll be there.
Since I've got you, why did you schedule another neck lift for Mrs.
Grubman? I didn't schedule that operation.
Who did then? The Filofax fairy? I'm here reviewing next month's surgeries, and here it is, on the 15th.
I'm telling you, I didn't schedule that operation.
I sliced that bitch's wattle off That's what I thought.
Call Mrs.
Grubman and tell her you made a scheduling mistake.
I'll see you in a few.
Dr.
Troy, what a nice surprise.
I'm healing beautifully.
What a doll you are to check up on me.
Listen, since I've got you on the horn how many Ambiens should I take if I want to sleep through the entire 8-hour flight and wake up refreshed in Tahiti? Mrs.
Grubman, who signed you up for another neck lift? I did it myself, with the girl at the front desk.
You were with a patient, and you made it clear I'm not to interrupt.
I didn't approve that operation.
Look, I'm co-hosting a benefit with Blaine Trump next month and I need to look my best.
Never schedule another operation without my consent.
Am I clear? I don't like your tone, Dr.
Troy.
The next time you speak to me that way, take a minute to remember who's keeping you in those Gucci suits you love so much.
Ma'am, I need you to clear your pockets and go through again.
Loosen your braids and take a look.
Do I look like a terrorist? Ma'am, I need you to go through again.
Put your phone in the clearance basket, please.
Mrs.
Grubman? Hold on, Dr.
Troy.
Ma'am.
I am keeping the maintenance as scheduled, Dr.
Troy.
No, you're not! It goes against ASAPS guidelines.
It's not ethical! Please, Dr.
Troy.
Since when have you ever been ethical? Mrs.
Grubman, that's it.
I'm cutting you off! My office will no longer schedule surgeries with you.
Dr.
Troy! - Hello? - Ma'am, I need- Look, your machine is broke! I am not missing that flight! We've got a runner.
As you can see, here is the cautery tip you left inside my client's stomach after her tummy tuck.
Without doubt, this is the metal object that set off the airport security system and led to the assault of my client.
She had the object quietly removed by her private physician at considerable pain and expense.
Mrs.
Grubman, let me begin by saying how truly sorry- Dr.
McNamara, seeing as this incident, top to bottom was caused by your partner I think it is he who should apologize.
Mr.
Ambrose, what kind of reparations are you looking for? $10 million.
Not a penny less.
God damn it! You should have done an instrument count, Liz! I did.
This has never happened to me before.
I am always so careful.
Apparently, not careful enough! We could lose the business over this! I cannot believe your ineptitude! - Sean- - Hold on, Christian.
This is between me and him.
You examined Grubman's belly after I did an instrument check, correct, Sean? I mean, that's protocol.
Wait.
Are we to believe from your silence that maybe you didn't do it because you were too distracted with your son's circumcision? What ineptitude! - Liz, look, I'm upset.
- Screw it! I should never have come back here! - I am resigning! - No, you're not.
Liz, please, can you give us a minute? I can't believe this.
Ironic, isn't it? That after years of my enduring your "be more responsible" lectures you're the one who screwed us.
Look, we have malpractice insurance precisely for this reason.
If we pay out, we are screwed, Christian.
Our rates triple, and then basically we're working to break even.
What if she goes to the media? Our professional lives are over! You have to go to her.
- Me? - She likes you.
She trusts you.
If you hadn't cut her off, she wouldn't have been so vindictive.
- I cut her off because of you.
- I didn't ask you to do that.
No? You're the one who was constantly berating me about my supposed lack of ethics.
You're the reason I dumped Grubman and the reason Nanette Babcock pulled a goddamn Glenn Close on my car.
- What are you saying? - I wanted to handle her differently make her feel better about herself, but you and your new piece-of-ass hire- I am not interested in her in that way! went all draconian on me, and she trashed my car! Your fingerprints are all over both crime scenes, Sean.
How many women have you screwed over, Christian? A hundred? A thousand? It could easily be one of them.
She did it, Sean.
You deal with Grubman.
I'll investigate Nanette Babcock.
With Grace.
Hello? Miss Babcock? What are you doing? I'm sorry.
I knocked on the door and it opened.
You didn't answer my question.
The doctors and I were worried.
I came by to see how you were doing.
I'm doing my laundry.
I'm making my lunch.
I'm not going to my reunion.
That's what I'm doing.
You went off your lithium.
Does your treating psychologist know about that? I quit seeing him a month ago.
He couldn't do anything to make me feel better.
That's why I came to you.
You guys did a shitty job at that, too.
You see what I'm eating? Bullshit low-fat turkey with no bread.
The lithium made me gain weight.
I needed to be thinner for my reunion.
That's why I quit.
Cold turkey.
Jim Reconia was gonna be at my reunion.
I bet he would have loved you.
You with your perfect face and your tight ass and your tits that don't sag down to an elastic waistband that you don't have to wear.
I hate girls like you.
You always get the Jims of this world.
Was Jim a friend of yours, Nanette? He was the class president.
I read on classmates.
com that he was recently divorced.
I thought maybe if I looked prettier like one of them he'd notice me and strike up a conversation.
But you ruined that.
And you retaliated by vandalizing Dr.
Troy's car? You think I would do that? Because if I'm ugly naturally I'm a crazy bitch, too.
Is that right? Ms.
Babcock, nothing that happens in a doctor's office is personal.
You rejecting me and ruining my dream is personal! You not making me the best I can be, is personal! I get rejected all the time! But when I offer to pay and still get rejected that is personal! Please leave.
Sorry to keep you waiting, Dr.
Troy.
I was held up on the phone.
Well, you know how hysterical young women can get when they find out their only mother almost died on the operating table.
Now, Mrs.
Grubman, you didn't almost die on our table.
You didn't even suffer from sepsis- Oh, drop the tough love bullshit.
You drove all the way to Palm Beach from your Miami butcher shop and I'm sure it was to grovel, not to lecture.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, well, it's too late for sorry.
Drink? Absolut, neat.
A toast.
To closing you down.
Why are you doing this? You don't need the goddamn money.
Your husband left you everything when he died.
I'm doing this because you betrayed me.
I didn't betray you.
I was negligent and left - a cautery tip in your stomach.
- I could give a shit about that! - Then why are you suing me? - Because you left me.
You left me after I was loyal to you.
Oh, you think you made me with your implants and your collagen and your magic scalpel.
But the truth is, I made you.
I sent you all my society friends.
I even threw cocktail parties in your honor to get you known in all the right circles.
And now, dumping me like one of your one-night whores is the thanks I get? I deserve better.
God damn this brace.
It's like the hands of a killer around my neck! My decision was correct, Mrs.
Grubman.
I just went about it the wrong way.
Actually, I stopped working on you because Because you were my masterpiece.
There were no more strokes to be made on your canvas.
After the tummy tuck, I realized: "She's perfect now.
My work is done.
" You're a goddamn liar.
Keep rubbing.
But if truth be told that always was my fantasy.
That you'd look at me one day, and think I was beautiful.
That you made me beautiful.
That you would want me.
No more knots.
I think I'm done.
Think again, Dr.
Troy.
Did she intimate if you slept with her, she'd drop the lawsuit? Are you telling me to stick my dick in the Crypt Keeper to make your mistake go away? You're right.
You were right about Nanette Babcock, too.
We need to put out a restraining order.
Filing a restraining order means involving us with the police.
Now is not a time to flirt with risk, remember? Okay, enough.
I'm gonna deal with her.
And forget about Grubman.
I'm gonna tell her I botched the surgery.
You shouldn't have to give in to her demands.
I don't know what our options are, Sean.
If I don't, she's gonna close us down and I'm sorry, I've worked too hard to end up at 40 saying "Welcome to Cinnabon.
How may I help you?" I'm gonna settle with Grubman's attorney.
I need to pay for my screwup.
Great, Sean, but why should I have to pay? Vanessa? Oh, what a night! What an event! $4 million raised for spina bifida, and you on my arm.
Not too shabby.
Get me a nightcap, would you, dear heart? Shit.
Thank you.
- You want the lights on or- - Off.
Mrs.
Grubman? What's wrong? - It's nothing.
I just - Tell me.
I haven't been touched by a man like that in 12 years.
Not since my Marvin died.
I know I'm pathetic, bribing you for affection.
Believe me, I know that.
The nights are the worst, you know.
That's when I miss him the most.
We used to have a little ritual, my husband and I.
I'd take my makeup off in the bathroom and I'd get in bed all clean and bare.
He'd lean over and look at me, and he'd say: "You are so beautiful.
" Oh, God.
Oh, how sad you must think I am.
You are beautiful, Mrs.
Grubman.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where only one kind of beauty is recognized anymore.
But I'm telling you, tonight, the way you worked that room the way you flirted with those rich guys, batted your eyes and walked away with a $100,000 check for a cause that needs you that was beautiful to me.
Thank you.
Do you know what I like best about your working on me, Dr.
Troy? It's not when the bandages come off.
It's when I'm lying there on the table, ready to go.
And I look up and there you are.
And you hold my hand as I go under and the last words I hear you say are: "Everything's gonna be okay.
" Everything's gonna be okay.
Ms.
Babcock, this is Sean McNamara of McNamara / Troy.
You came by last week for a consultation with my partner.
I was wondering if you were available to come back today to see me, say 2.
;30? Let my office know if that time works for you.
Thank you.
And don't let them bump my time.
I want to be the first one in the morning.
Mrs.
Grubman.
Dr.
Troy, don't worry.
I'm not here to rekindle any of that ugly lawsuit business.
I just came to schedule some light bottom lipo.
I didn't approve that operation.
Oh, but you will.
And correct me if I'm wrong, Dr.
Troy but from now on, no matter what the operation there'll be no charge.
I thought we had an understanding.
Yes, we do.
You understand me, and I treasure that.
See you next month, Dr.
Troy.
Please tell me she hasn't decided to reopen her lawsuit.
Worse.
We have a lifetime pro bono.
Nanette Babcock's here.
- You want me to sit in? - No.
I need to handle this myself.
I'd like to do the surgeries tomorrow.
I found this makeup that could cover the bruises.
I could still go to my reunion.
But since you've inconvenienced me, you should cut your rates.
I think that's only fair.
Ms.
Babcock, I didn't call you in today to reschedule your surgeries.
Then why are you wasting my time? I've taken a personal interest in your case.
I'd really like to help you.
You can help me by fixing my face.
I suspect that because you've gone off your medications you are in or are nearing a manic episode.
I'd like to recommend you visit Dr.
Marvin Sumner.
He's a friend of mine who specializes in manic depression.
I'm not crazy.
I've arranged for your consultation with Dr.
Sumner to be free of charge.
I can drive you there myself, if you like.
Look, I'm really trying to do the right thing by you.
That's all I want to do.
I'd like that doctor's number, please.
So, Annie just showed me the Frisky doppelgänger.
How many pet shops did you have to go to before you found one that matched? Four.
Why didn't you tell her the truth? Because she shouldn't have to pay for the damage we've done to each other.
I think you did the right thing.
You do? You're a good mother, Julia.
You just proved it.
I'm not going to blame you anymore for me not becoming who I always wanted to become.
Instead of being angry I'm going back to school.
I think that's a good idea.
Yeah.
By the way, Annie wants to know why Frisky Two is dry humping Frisky One.
Oh, my God! Did I get a female gerbil by mistake? You better check it out.
Come on in here.
So tell me.
- Tell you what? - How did it go with Vanessa? The stitches are out.
I figured you You know.
It was great, Dad.
Just great? It was everything I wanted it to be.
And I want to thank you for just really helping me out and giving that to me.
You're welcome.
I'm gonna go wash up for dinner.