Norsemen (2016) s01e03 Episode Script

Hi.
Spit in the pot, Hildur.
All who seek answers, spit in the pot.
OK.
I guess I can spit a little.
You can do better than that.
No answers without a real gob.
You wish to know if your husband, the chieftain, survives.
Yes.
[moaning.]
Hi.
- How's it going here? - Good, good.
[coughing.]
You feeling OK? As I like to say: It's not how you're doing, it's - it's how you handle it.
- That's so true.
I'm sure you'll be fine.
I mean, how bad can it be? Arvid? Feel my heart.
No, really feel it for real.
- It's still strong, isn't it? - Yeah.
Feels fine.
Just like a heart is supposed to feel when you grab it directly.
Some blood there again.
But it's OK.
I'll just wash it off.
I see fire.
And I see drigs and dregs.
Knecks and drops.
Does that mean he will survive or die or? The gods are not ready to receive him yet.
That's great news! I was really worried.
I mean, He's laying down in the house with his guts basically hanging out for everyone to see.
If I die, Odin forbid, I want you to be chieftain.
Not that girly-boy Orm.
Me, as chieftain? I don't know Believe in yourself, Arvid.
You have it all in you, you just don't know it yet.
But Orm is next in line.
So wouldn't that sour the mood a little? This is my decision.
Tomorrow I'll inform the village.
Loki! [creaking.]
No one? Drink.
You must drink from the Prophesy Pot if the prophesy is to come true.
How many have spit in here before me? I mean, I'm guaranteed to be sick if I drink that.
That's just how it works.
Seriously? Don't hate the player, hate the game.
Agreed, but, can I ask you one question? Do you personally see to it that these prophesies come true? No, I don't control the future.
The gods do.
I'm merely a messenger.
Drink, come on.
If you don't have any influence, I'd rather not drink that crap.
Because, I mean, the result is already given.
You can't quarrel your way out of destiny.
Drink, and the prophecy will be fulfilled.
Everyone drinks.
Everyone has always drunk.
Yes, but to be quite honest with you, I think it's strange that no one has questioned this practice before.
I mean, it's not logical.
I'm sorry.
I don't mean to make your job harder.
But just drinking spit simply doesn't work for me.
OK.
Look in the chest.
- The Map to the West? - Yes.
Unfortunately it's not ours to keep.
I promised Jarl Varg that if we found our way across the ocean he should have the map.
This is very important, Arvid.
Varg, he's How should I put it? A quite unpredictable and hot-headed man.
We could end up with some big problems.
Orm is here.
- Arvid.
- Orm.
So, dear brother How are you really doing? Well, I can't help but complain.
Well put.
But seriously, Orm, I'm not in my best shape here.
I cannot even lift my arms.
Really? That bad? So If I do this.
How does that feel? Can you push upwards at all? No, not a chance.
No? OK.
So So your arms and upper body are too weak.
What about your neck? Can you nod, or headbutt? Headbutt? [chuckles.]
No way.
No? - Hi.
- Hi.
How are you? Well I don't know.
It's I've been better, I suppose.
Yeah.
How about you? How are you? I don't know.
I just feel we have to put our faith in Thor and Odin.
At least the shaman was really positive.
So - Really? - Yeah.
You know, the crazy thing is If Olav won't survive, gods forbid, he said he wanted me to take over as chieftain.
- He said that? - Yeah.
I don't know.
I'm probably not the right guy for that job.
Arvid.
I think you will be a wonderful chieftain.
Yes! You're so, you're so kind.
And honest and warm and strong Really strong.
The chieftain is dead! He's dead in there! He's dead! - Olav! - Olav has departed.
It's terrible.
I'm completely crushed.
- I should have been there.
- It went quickly towards the end.
The only thing I know is that he died of natural causes.
Did he have time to tell you he wanted me to take over as chieftain? Yes, yes.
And his last words were that that was just a very grotesque joke.
That was not my impression, it was a joke.
You know what they say: Those who take a joke just as a joke, and seriousness seriously, they have actually understood both poorly.
- Yeah? - And here the seriousness was the joke.
I didn't quite catch that.
But I don't know if I can accept this just like that.
Everyone here knows that I am next in line.
If you have a problem with that, then we have something called "blood eagle"! Seriously? Is that how you intend to handle this? That's exactly how I intend to handle this, Arvid! That is how I handle things like this! [clears throat.]
[clears throat.]
Odin.
Today you can set the great hall in Valhalla with your finest tableware.
Hang up your most festive curtains and decorate with wildflowers.
In all the beautiful colors of the rainbow.
For today Olav is arriving.
Dearest brother.
Chieftain Olav.
If you still had been among us today, I know that you would have given me a good, long hug and said how much you regret the way you have treated me.
For so many, many years.
You would probably shed a little tear too while thinking about all the times you didn't include me in games as a child.
And fun and parties as an adult.
[sniffs.]
But dry your tears, Olav.
For I know that you would have said that our village is now in the best of hands with me as the new chieftain! [chanting.]
Push him out.
Farewell, brother! Farewell, brother! Why don't you just let me do that, because I No, no, it's just that my hands are very cold.
And these arrows are too slippery for my style of shooting.
[lights arrow.]
This is ridiculous! The raft has to be set aflame or else he won't get to Valhalla.
Yes, yes.
[lights arrow.]
- Give me the bow.
Give me the bow.
- No, no.
Just let Arvid do it! I'll do it.
I'll handle it.
He's my brother.
- Come on.
This is really important.
- Orm! Just one more arrow, just to be sure.
For Thor and Odin's sake, let Arvid do it! No, no, no, no.
It's too late.
It's too late.
If Thor and Odin had wanted me to hit, then I would have done it.
And I think it's very important just to respect that.
[crowd boos.]
Who dares boo their own chieftain? I'm really, really disappointed.
You shouldn't boo your own chieftain.
That's just child's knowledge.
Try firing an arrow with really cold fingers yourself before you start booing.
Have any of you ever tried to fire an arrow with really frozen fingers? No, that's what I thought.
It really has a huge effect.
So, but now you've learned something today, as well.
And there's no need to feel down in the mouth.
Because next weekend it's funeral feast! Welcome, welcome.
A bit late.
The funeral was yesterday.
We're not here for the funeral.
Rumor has it you went on a raid to the West? Yes, yes, yes.
Yes, indeed.
A very successful raid.
Chieftain Olav swore that he would draw up a map.
To show how to get there.
A map? That's the first I've heard of it.
I think my brother would have shared that information with me.
There's supposed to be a map among Olav's possessions.
A map showing the route to the West or something? Yeah, right, that.
We sent that out with the funeral raft.
We thought we'd include some of his most prized possessions.
And he really was a fan of that map.
- Are you serious? - Serious as cancer.
Jarl Varg won't like this.
No, but it is what it is.
The map is gone, and that's just very, very unfortunate.
Yeah.
It's very unfortunate.
That map Was it very valuable? Yeah, the map was extremely valuable.
- You can row, right? - Yeah, I can row like a Viking.
Good.
I'm sending you on a secret mission.
- Wow.
- Yes.
You have to row out and find Olav's funeral raft.
And you don't dare come back before you've found that map.
No, of course.
Well, well, well.
Rufus of Rome.
I promised we would meet again.
We had that certain bond.
We had that special - Chemistry? - No, no, that's not what I meant.
I have to say that what you mentioned about theater and acting, really piqued my interest.
OK? And I'm trying to get some sort of cultural lift.
And I really want something like that to happen here in Norheim.
Well, making a theater production is very resource demanding.
Is it? Mostly regarding human capital.
Human capital? Yeah, I mean, creative and talented minds.
And most of all, lots of theater experience.
Oh, yes.
That's absolutely essential.
Experience, experience Which I happen to have, by the way.
An overload of experience.
And talent.
Talent? Yes, they say I am a once-in-a-generation talent.
Wow.
So they say.
Rufus, I truly want to see with my own eyes what you are capable of.
I want you to prepare some highlights of your repertoire for the feast tonight.
Can you do that? Yes.
I can do that.
Good.
"And from under the veil, he rose and sang a song!" "About the mother of all creation.
" "For you sang the Achaeans' fate with truth and feeling.
" "All of their actions and their suffering.
" "All the efforts they exerted" People! This this is beautiful! These are Odysseus's words to the skald Demodocus in The Odyssey.
It's art! - Your first performance was incredible.
- Thank you.
I'm actually an actor.
- An educated actor.
- Rufus, could I steal you for a moment? I'm just going to pee-pee, and then I can meet you outside.
Yes, sure.
Loki! Have you read these rune sticks? No, but I've seen tons of them up by the latrine.
People are sitting there reading them and laughing.
What are they? Rune sticks about me.
And very childish messages, I have to say.
Huh, wow.
But now that I'm chieftain, I can finally put a stop to all this.
Shall I? Do you need help? Listen, I've You know, speaking of theater, I, I I was very impressed by what you did in there.
Oh, really? And I've been thinking and I want to ask you: Do you want to be a theater man? - A theater man? - Yes.
Someone who knows everything and has the big responsibility and all that.
I wonder if you might mean creative director? Yes! Yes, yes.
Absolutely.
I just didn't remember the term, at the moment.
Is that something that maybe is possible, that you might want to do? I'm not sure you're fully aware of who you're engaging.
Because I'm uncompromising when it comes to art.
Yes, no, it's very important to be uncompromising.
I need full creative freedom.
And I need to do things my way.
This has to be taken serious.
Yes, no, but indeed, but I am very serious.
Then my recommendation is to take immediate action.
To lift this town up from this barbaric shithole that it is now.
How do we do that? Well, the obvious thing would be to make an installation.
An installation? Yes.
That's a great idea.
Let's do it.
What is that? Well, it's a three-dimensional sculpture made of objects, often objects from everyday life.
The important thing here is its symbolic value.
- Yes.
- It's invaluable.
Great, great.
How do you see this? How do you imagine it? I have a very exciting vision.
Vision? Yes.
That's very important.
[men chattering.]
Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me! What in Hel do you think you're doing? - Isn't this a funeral party? - Yes, sort of.
But it started some time ago.
And punctuality is a virtue.
Which is something I've decided to start saying.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
We were just sitting around drinking.
- And had such a nice time.
- And? You know how it is.
The pre-party's usually the best part.
When you get to the actual party, everyone goes to their Arvid, Arvid, Arvid.
Hush, hush, hush.
Hush.
This is a feast to honor your new chieftain.
Not some anecdotal get-together about the excellence of pre-parties contra parties.
Isn't this feast supposed to be in memory of Olav? Aren't we going to pour out mead and laugh and cry and mourn and stuff? Arvid, if I as the brother of the deceased have managed to move on and forget, I think the rest of you can do the exactly same.
And anyway, I thought this would be a perfect occasion for certain people to swear allegiance to their new chieftain and show respect.
- Which certain people? - You, Arvid.
Unless you'd rather become a niding and be chased away from the village? - No, of course not.
- No? Wonderful.
Lovely.
Lovely.
Kiss my hand.
- Huh? - Kiss my hand! Kiss it.
Kneel.
See? That wasn't so hard, was it? You have a new chieftain and a new regime.
And by tomorrow you will see that things have changed around here.
Orm? What in Loki's name, Orm? Well, well, well.
If it isn't the rune-stick maker himself.
- What? - I said, well, well, well.
If it isn't the rune-stick maker himself.
Okay.
Hildur, I pray to Thor and Odin that you my dear sister-in-law are not responsible for this.
I have no clue what you're talking about.
So none of you have been carving runesticks with insulting messages about me? It wasn't me, but what does it say? It doesn't matter what it says.
That's beside the point.
- Have you done this? - No.
Well, I know it's one of you.
So perhaps the guilty party would like to come forward and confess right away so we can get this over with.
No? OK.
OK! Then I guess, to prove this, there's only one thing to do.
- Writing samples.
- [scoffs.]
You're going to carve exactly what it says here.
And then afterwards we'll compare and see whose carving resembles this the most.
So get started.
Ow! Yes, this must be the one.
Whose writing sample is this? It's mine.
You disappoint me.
Why do such a thing? It's just innocent fun.
Uh-huh, so you think this is just an innocent joke? - Yeah, it's humor.
- Humor? Yes.
- So you think punishment is humor too? - Punishment for writing rune sticks? - What happened to freedom of speech? - Okay, it's like this: I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.
Great.
I was really starting to wonder.
But in this specific case you went too far.
Seriously? Ow! Orm? Hildur.
It has been proven that you are the woman behind the rune sticks with the following messages: "Orm er rassr-agr.
" Which means Orm is an unmanly, - homosexual, perverted person.
- [laughing.]
See you completely miss the mark.
In order for humor to be relevant, it needs to be rooted in reality.
And this is where you so completely and utterly fail.
I think it's quite fine you don't find it funny, but obviously humor is a very subjective thing.
Hildur, you have slandered Orm.
And to make justice come true, I have no other option than to let Orm exercise his punishment his own way.
- Go on.
- What? Orm Seriously? See what you made me do? Straight in the gut.
Now you went too far.
Way too far.
I'll get you for this! That makes me wonder if maybe this is where your journey ends? Loki! [door closes.]
[clears throat.]
That was quite a trip.
I don't have any skin left on my hands.
But I got you the map.
There you are.
Map? What map? The map from Chieftain Olav's funeral raft.
I had completely forgotten about that map.
I'm not sure I have any use for it now.
Was there anything else? Nope.
Slave on.
Norheim is going to be a cultural capital.
You know that? That's something my brother never achieved and he was chieftain for more than ten years.
Wow.
Well he kind of had other priorities.
Yes, and I've been chieftain for two months, and already have an installation going up that really inspires respect.
- About that installation.
- Yes? Rufus wants it to look a certain way.
Yes, he's uncompromising.
But now we have run out of metal and stuff to build it the way he wants.
No, no, no.
No, no, no, that's horrible! How can we get our hands on more metal and things like that, quickly? Come on, Arvid.
Be a little solution-oriented.
What we usually do when we need stuff, is go out raiding.
But I don't know if that's - Raiding? - Yeah, is that your No, no, that could work.
- Really? - Yes.
- Raiding, as in a proper raid? - Yes, yes, that's what I mean.
Is that decided, then? Yes.
Yes, I'm chieftain.
I can decide things like this.
Yes, we're going out raiding! We're going to pillage and rape again! Woo-hoo!