Now and Again (1999) s01e03 Episode Script
Over Easy
1
NARRATOR:
Before on Now and Again:
MORRIS:
The mind thing.
Can't lick the mind thing.
Just can't build a mind.
You really have to harvest one.
You know what I mean?
We were just about to give up hope
and then you had your
unfortunate run-in with the F train.
And, well, just seemed like kismet
to us.
MORRIS: In return for the gift of sight,
mobility and tactile sensation,
for being able to walk, talk,
breathe, taste and touch,
all your government asks in return
is that you stay dead.
We know you didn't choose to die,
Mr. Wiseman.
- Lisee, come on, what's the matter?
- Michael.
- What's the matter?
- Stop it.
MORRIS:
I saw your family.
I know how precious they must be
to you.
But your government
can't let anyone know
about the existence
of this technology.
It's a weekday.
You reaching out
to anyone from your past
absolutely guarantees
- your immediate and final death.
- Hello?
MORRIS: And the death
of whomever you confided in.
- Lisee.
- I need you to tell me
you understand and agree to that.
[GRUNTING]
MICHAEL: And what if I say no?
What if I won't do it?
Hey, this is America.
That's your right.
MORRIS: Of course,
we'll have to take our $3 billion worth
of logic sensors, voice emulators,
computer-driven
neuron transfer generators
and assorted other doodads
and go home.
MAN:- What the hell?
MORRIS:- Let nature take its course.
[MICHAEL GRUNTS]
MICHAEL:
I need your help.
I don't have any money
and I need to see Lisa.
Lisa Wiseman and Heather.
Will you take me to see them?
You're a really good friend
of Michael's. I know that.
So was I.
You are
Michael, aren't you?
Forget you came up with that.
Reincarnated.
[CHUCKLES]
Bingo.
He thinks you're God,
Wiseman's been reincarnated,
and I'm some kind of burning bush.
If you breathe a word
of what you've seen tonight,
if you breathe a single syllable
of your theory,
I will smite your ass so fast,
you'll skip right past heaven and hell
and be turned straight into pus.
[SINGING]
Groovin' ♪
Oh, on a crowded avenue ♪
LISA:
Can I buy you a pair of shoes?
What size are you?
I have no idea.
Tell me about my funeral.
MORRIS:
Your wife didn't wear black.
She wore orange.
No!
I wanna live. I wanna live.
I wanna live.
I wanna live. I wanna
This was received by the mayor's
office three and a half hours ago.
Blind e-mail
that was written in Chinese.
MAN: What I'm about to read to you
is a translation provided by the FBI.
"Mr. Mayor.
Perhaps you have read about me."
[SCREAMS]
"I have unleashed nerve gas attacks
in Japan and France."
"Now it is time for your continent."
"Now it is time for your city."
[SCREAMS]
"All of this can be avoided, however,
if you will wire transfer $100 million"
"within the next 72 hours
to the indicated account.”
MORRIS:
And now for our feature attraction.
[ROOSTER CROWS]
[ALARM BEEPS]
My God.
Lisa.
I believe I've had an epiphany.
- Excuse me?
- An epiphany.
A mystical but clarifying experience.
Well, that's nice.
But I am angry with you,
Roger Bender.
I know you are,
and you have every reason to be.
I've been a dreadful friend.
You needed my help
getting that insurance money
and I haven't given it to you,
but I'm a new man,
a changed man.
A man dedicated
to doing the right thing
no matter the consequence.
And that is why, tomorrow morning,
I am marching
into that twerp Spence's office
and I am demanding
that he make everything right with you.
And if he doesn't, I am on the phone
to the Insurance Commission
in Washington
and I'm singing like all three tenors
and I'm
Roger?
May I come in for a minute?
Where did you get this?
Well, someone gave it to me last night.
Why?
He found you.
Oh, my God.
Gosh. I meant gosh.
Damn. Golly.
Who found me?
What are you talking about?
I got that from a homeless man.
It's yours?
It is yours, isn't it?
What's going on here?
Why was he wearing your jacket?
And what did you mean
that he found me?
Lisa, you're asking me
to screw up my entire afterlife here.
What are you talking about?
What are you not telling me?
You know him, don't you?
The man who gave me that jacket,
you know him.
You know who I'm talking about.
Have you been following me?
I swear not me.
Not you. Well, somebody. Who?
Grand Empire Insurance?
Lisa, please, don't ask me anything.
What do you mean,
don't ask you anything?
What happened to the "new man",
the "changed man",
the man willing to do the right thing
no matter what the consequences?
But he said if I told he would kill me.
Who? Who would kill you?
God.
He said he would smite me.
Smite me, for God's sake.
Go home, Roger.
Just get some sleep.
Didn't he seem familiar?
What did you say?
Nothing. I shouldn't have said that.
I'm not gonna say another thing.
I don't even know
if you know what you're saying.
And this is so cruel.
I've never done anything important,
anything noble in my whole life.
I'll make you a deal.
Let's look for him.
Just you and me.
Because I think he's got something
he wants to tell you.
And I give you my word,
if we can't find him,
I will tell you everything.
The whole astounding story.
Probably come back as nail fungus.
But I swear, Lisa,
I will tell you everything.
WOMAN [ON TV]:
Repeating this latest word.
Police have confirmed this morning's
massacre at the Petrie Hotel
was caused by the release
of a biochemical agent
which has now
been fully contained.
Twenty-three people dead.
Another 17 remain hospitalized.
- Whether the attack was accidental
- What does this have to do with me?
remains unclear at this time,
although unsubstantiated reports
of ransom demands have
[GRUNTING]
[GASPS]
MORRIS:
Whoa. Six minutes, 11 seconds.
That could come in handy.
How do you feel?
Oh, it's hard to tell.
Lack of oxygen
may have given me brain damage.
But I'm under warranty, right?
What are you talking about,
"handy"?
I think yesterday's attack
was an accident.
An accident? Are you saying
some guy wiped out two floors
of a major midtown hotel
and it was a boo-boo?
I'm telling you what the media
and the public don't know.
That when it happened,
the mayor's office had already received
a nerve gas attack threat.
- Okay.
- For the day after tomorrow.
Yeah,
maybe they get a lot of these things.
We think our guy
must have been using a mask
when something went wrong.
I'm confused.
If it was an accident,
how do you know
he wasn't one of the victims?
What makes you think
he was wearing a mask?
How you know he just isn't dead?
In which case,
I'd like to just go dry my hair now.
The city just received
a new ransom note.
It seems whoever is behind this
has moved up the timetable to tonight.
He wants 10 million in bearer bonds.
No more wire transfers,
no more three-day lead time.
He wants to meet one man
with a satchel full of bonds.
I volunteered you.
I don't get it. What am I gonna do?
Am I gonna run real fast?
Am I gonna beat him at arm wrestling?
Have a contest to see
who can hold his breath the longest?
Kind of stuff this guy is using,
within three seconds
of inhaling just a micro-particle of it,
it attacks
the central nervous system.
You heart starts pumping two
then three,
and eventually 10 times faster
than normal,
forcing blood to the extremities.
Within 30 seconds,
the capillary walls burst,
then the interior of your body
is flooded with fluid.
But it's okay.
The brain's already stopped
functioning, so there's no real pain.
But I don't have capillary walls, right?
So this won't affect me.
No. You have capillary walls.
You have lots of capillary walls.
- But--?
- But why send in a real live man
when you can send in one
who's already died?
What? That's it?
That's what makes me the right man
for this job?
Because I've been dead?
Can we discuss this, please?
Guy to guy. Man to man.
Science fair project to scientist.
Heh, heh.
Look, I'm not really sure
I'm ready for a mission,
particularly this mission.
Oh, come on, let's take a step back
and look at my qualifications.
I was dead.
I mean, think about it, doc.
A lot of people have been dead.
Heck,
I think it's safe to say that everyone
at one time or another in their lives
is gonna be dead.
I mean, if I were looking for a guy
to save the world,
dead wouldn't be
the make-it-or-break-it quality to me.
You're stronger
than any man on the planet.
You're faster than any man
on the planet.
And theoretically, at least,
if something should happen to you,
I could, if I had a couple
of billion dollars and a new brain,
build another unit to replace you.
Ahh, you're saying that
to make me feel better.
Would you climb this ladder, please,
Mr. Wiseman?
You got it, doc.
What are we working on now?
Speed painting?
Now, this is something
I could excel at.
Just give me a roller
and watch me work.
That saving the world stuff,
I'm not sure that's me.
But home improvement,
I feel I can make a real contribution
in that area. Phew.
What's this for?
Killing evil contractors?
Mr. Wiseman,
we have no idea who our foe is tonight,
what he looks like,
how heavily armed he might be.
Is he really gonna show up alone
or will he have a dozen men
working with him?
In the face of all these unknowns,
I'd like you to have every possible
advantage at your disposal.
You want me to shoot him
with this thing?
The idea is,
in addition to your great speed,
this will give you lateral freedom.
Look, say you're waiting for him
on the south side of the street
and he suddenly appears
on the north side.
- Yeah?
- You see that beam?
Aim for it.
- Wow.
- Very nice.
Yeah,
you should see me at school carnivals.
There's a small guidance system
in the hook.
It senses what you're aiming for
and homes in on it.
You take the fun out of everything.
Now, step off the ladder
and swing from that side of the room
to the other side of the room.
You know, that's--
That's not my area.
What's not your area?
Pretty much anything
having to do with gravity.
I'm a spectator sport kind of guy.
Let go of the ladder and swing
from the south side of the street
to the north.
This is not gonna hold me.
It absolutely will.
The weight threshold is calculated
by a sensor in the hook.
If it calculates that it can't,
the line will come back to you.
Okay, that's fine. But what if I fall?
What if I break something?
My leg or something?
Think about the taxpayer--
Doc, what are you do--? Doc.
[GRUNTING]
- Whoo!
- Now, on the next pass, backboard.
[MICHAEL WHOOPING]
[MORRIS LAUGHS]
[SINGING]
Fly me to the moon ♪
And let me play among the stars ♪
Let me see what spring is like ♪
On Jupiter and Mars ♪
In other words, grab my hand ♪
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Mr. Wiseman, what are you doing?
LISA:
Honey.
Surprise, surprise.
You remember your Uncle Roger?
Hello, sweetheart.
Whoa, looks like you got rolled.
LISA: Uncle Roger and I have to go
into the city.
I don't know what time
I'm coming home,
- so why don't you come with us?
- Will you buy me something?
Get in the car, please.
That's where latest note indicates
he wants to make the pickup.
- Franklin Street Station?
MAN:- Not exactly.
He wants to do it on the train
while it's moving.
At rush hour when it's full of people.
MORRIS:
Anyone talk to N.Y.P.D.?
Can those people
be plainclothes officers?
Well, they're gonna get as many men
on the target car as possible.
But it's rush hour. They can't very well
commandeer a train
without tipping our guy off.
Remember, we don't know
which station he's boarding the train.
- Don't know what this fella looks like.
- They've guaranteed us choppers
in the air, units on the street
ready to close off the perimeter.
Uh, we just need to flush out who he is,
which is where the prototype comes in.
Prototype?
Gentlemen, we make it a point
to refer to Mr. Wiseman
- as Mr. Wiseman.
MICHAEL:- That's okay.
They can just call me
by my model number
and I'll address you fellas
by your whole names.
What do you mean, "whole names"?
Well, you'll be A-hole
and you'll be B-hole and you'll be--
Well, you get the idea.
Gentlemen, I'm starting to suspect
that, uh, to facilitate our planning,
we should ask Mr. Wiseman
to join us. Mr. Wiseman.
I think you men would be astounded
at just how strong, just how fast
and just how agile
our new secret weapon is.
Plus, I can hold my breath longer
than a janitor
in a chili restaurant's men's room.
You're to board the second car
from the rear
of the Uptown-bound Number 2 train
at Franklin Street Station.
First one that arrives after 5:35.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5
What?
[CLEARS THROAT]
One of you fellas got a pen
I can borrow?
[FLIES BUZZING]
This is ridiculous.
A homeless man tells me he has
a townhouse on 63rd and Madison
and I actually come looking for him
on 63rd and Madison.
I don't even know
which townhouse it is.
We are not actually certain
that he does own a townhouse.
I don't mean to sound small-minded,
but he didn't exactly look like
townhouse material to me.
He looked more like flophouse
material to me. Don't you think?
- Ugh.
- Hello.
Uh, no. Yes.
Yeah, I'm here. I'm here.
Ten more minutes
and we're going home.
They'll be here to pick us up
in five minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but I do believe
I see that there-and-then look
in your eyes again, Mr. Wiseman.
I thought we agreed
we were gonna concentrate
- on the here and now.
- Yeah, I know.
Call me an old softy,
but there's something
about staring at death a second time
that makes me nostalgic.
Lift your shirt, please.
And put this in your ear.
Now you'll be able to hear me
and I'll be able to hear you.
I feel so much better.
Now, remember, Mr. Wiseman,
your job is simply
to hand the man the money.
You're to take no further action
unless you're instructed.
Hopefully, the exchange will be made
without complication.
And when he flees,
local law enforcement will move in.
Are we together on this,
Mr. Wiseman?
Just hand the man the money.
No offense, but don't you think we're
kind of firing off a cannon to kill a flea?
Hand me my jacket, would you?
See how you did that?
Award-winning.
Imagine how great you'd do
with a satchel full of money.
You don't need me.
You need a bellhop.
Now, excuse me,
I haven't finished counting
how many tiles there are
in the ceiling just yet.
Mr. Wiseman,
somewhere along the way,
have I mistakenly
given you the impression
that you have a say
in what you will or won't do?
If I have, please accept my apology.
So if I tell you your job today
is to effect the safe
and expeditious transfer of money,
unless and until you hear otherwise,
your job is the safe
and expeditious transfer of money.
You are an experiment.
My experiment.
I will tell you when
and what you will do.
You are a part of this operation
for one reason and one reason only.
Any confrontation with any individual
using biological agents
is highly dangerous work.
If we could send a robot down there,
we would.
You just happen
to be the next best thing.
My daughter is doing her homework
in the backseat of a car.
She has a perfectly wonderful desk
in a really fabulous bedroom
in a really wonderful house
that her father worked hard
to buy for us.
And I have her out here
doing her homework
in the backseat of a car.
Oh, it's-- It's fine. Builds character.
Oh, how's it going?
Well, I read a chapter of Jane Eyre,
studied the parts
of the circulatory system
and now I'm trying
to do some geometry.
You wouldn't happen to have
a protractor on you, would you?
No, no,
I left it in my other coat. Sorry.
Sorry, I dragged you out here.
It's okay.
Mommy's acting a little crazy lately,
huh?
It's okay, Mom.
Let's go home.
Oh, there you go.
He lives here and he's a criminal.
Not funny.
A big important criminal.
Whoever he is,
he does pretty well for himself.
That's nice.
Let's go home.
Ten million dollars in bearer bonds.
Okay. Let's hit it.
Wait, wait, wait. We got movement.
People are coming out
of that building.
I think it's him.
It's him.
You're not talking about that hottie
in the middle, are you?
MAN:
FBI lab results are in.
Turns out he uses
ordinary chicken eggs as containers.
Now, the protein in the shell
doesn't contaminate the gas
and the fragile container
makes for a quick, virtually foolproof
delivery system.
Crack the egg, free the gas.
I was thinking
maybe I should have a gas mask.
His note says he sees a mask,
he drops an egg.
Uh-huh.
[SIREN WAILING]
You know, if this goes late and we
end up getting home after midnight,
you better write me a note
so I can skip my first three periods.
Sweetheart, let mommy concentrate
on the driving now, okay?
LISA:
They're stopping.
This is so cool.
You think we'll be on Cops?
Pull over here and let's get out.
MORRIS [OVER RADIO]:
Mr. Wiseman, I don't hear anything.
Is everything okay?
Oh, yeah.
Just taking a second
thinking about what I have to do.
[SQUEAKS]
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
LISA: For a guy who doesn't know
his own shoe size,
you clean up very nicely.
- Thank me later.
- What's with the police escort?
- You running for office?
- What are you all doing here?
- To be honest, I'm not sure.
- Get in the next car. Now!
- What?
- Go.
Mr. Wiseman, are you talking to
somebody? Have you made contact?
No. Go!
- Mr. Wiseman.
- Go.
MORRIS:- Do you see him?
- No.
But then I don't know
who we're looking for.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Hey, I, uh--
I think we got a live one.
MORRIS:
Are you sure it's him?
Either that or some straphanger
is making
a really kinky fashion statement.
MORRIS: Now, remember,
Just hand the man the bag.
Gotta tell you, though,
he's a really puny guy.
A midget.
Not even a midget, a midge.
I'm telling you, I can take him.
Hell,
even your Aunt Minnie could take him.
Pick one.
MORRIS: What are you doing?
Did you give him the bag?
Mr. Wiseman, answer me.
Mr. Wiseman?
[GRUNTING]
Mr. Wiseman,
what's going on down there?
Mr. Wiseman.
Mr. Wiseman.
Are you
a plainclothes police officer?
How about you?
Are you working undercover?
[GROANS]
Excuse me, people, is there
a plainclothes cop down here?
I have this egg
and I'm in kind of a hurry.
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.
Lisa. Wait. I'm in a hurry and I need
your help. I need you to hold this egg.
Stay away from us.
Why don't you give me your egg?
She's pretty upset.
Lisa, you didn't hear me.
I need your help.
- Would you take her upstairs?
- Yes.
Excuse me, but aren't you the guy
who just yelled at me
in front of a train full of people
and ordered me to go?
- Yes, but--
- Well, consider me gone.
- But, Lisa--
- Stop saying my name
like you've known me
for a million years.
And stop acting so familiar.
You are completely unfamiliar.
In fact, you're crazy.
You're a crazy man walking around
asking people to hold his eggs.
Screw you. Screw you.
Really? You sure?
It's a weekday, you know?
What did you say?
I said
you're the person in the world
I trust most.
So, please, take this up to the street.
Give it to a Dr. Theodore Morris.
Just ask for him.
He'll be up there with the police.
And don't ask me why,
but whatever you do, don't drop it
and don't crack it.
Okay.
And don't hold this against me.
Okay, I won't.
[CHUCKLES]
[TRAIN RUMBLES
THEN ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
Stop!
I'm telling you what he told me,
"puny".
That's the only description I got
before we lost contact.
No. No, forget that.
Look for my guy.
Six feet tall, 175,
moves like the wind.
Excuse me,
does anybody here know
if there's a Dr. Theodore Morris
around?
I'm Dr. Morris. Can I help you?
A man downstairs asked me
to give you this.
- I don't know why.
- Thank you.
- So how's the man downstairs doing?
- Well, he wa-- He was busy.
- You know him?
- Since the day he was born.
- You?
- Me?
No. Well, not really.
- Who is he?
- I can't tell you his name.
We work together.
Government work.
Highly sensitive. Internal Revenue.
Oh, my.
You didn't see anything strange
down there, did you?
He didn't do anything unusual,
did he?
Well, he gave me an egg
and then he kissed me.
- He did?
- He did?
Oh, my.
That's-- That's very distressing.
He's not supposed to do that.
You have my word, ma'am,
that he will be given
the most severe reprimand possible.
Well, let's not go overboard.
It wasn't completely unpleasant.
Mom.
We're gonna go home.
- Could I ask you a favor?
- Certainly.
Say "smite".
Smite.
Say "pus".
Pus.
Anything else?
I guess not. Thanks.
I don't completely understand it,
but I think I've been made a fool of.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
I'm in a hurry.
Excuse me.
Although he did rip the door
off my car.
I think.
Mom, did you really kiss him?
How old a man
would you say he was?
Mom, you're a mom.
I wonder if we'll ever see him again.
[BODY THUDS
THEN LISA SCREAMS]
I can't see from the street
and I don't wanna lose that cab.
Of course.
Okay.
Can you get a little closer?
[MAN GRUNTS]
[GASPS]
Bleed, damn it!
Bye-bye.
You've been bluffing?
The egg in the subway,
that was your last egg?
Bye.
Scientist to science fair project.
I'm very proud.
Where are they?
Being treated to a night
at a first-class Manhattan hotel
while their car is being repaired.
And then being escorted to their home
tomorrow morning
by a friendly IRS agent.
Or maybe
it was a friendly ATF agent.
Or maybe the guy
was from the FCC.
I don't remember
what I told her anymore.
Oh, you didn't really think I was gonna
invite her back for milk and cookies?
You're dead, my friend.
And you're just gonna have to learn
to live with that.
- Bye, Uncle Roger.
- Bye, Roger.
Bye. I'll see you.
NARRATOR:
Before on Now and Again:
MORRIS:
The mind thing.
Can't lick the mind thing.
Just can't build a mind.
You really have to harvest one.
You know what I mean?
We were just about to give up hope
and then you had your
unfortunate run-in with the F train.
And, well, just seemed like kismet
to us.
MORRIS: In return for the gift of sight,
mobility and tactile sensation,
for being able to walk, talk,
breathe, taste and touch,
all your government asks in return
is that you stay dead.
We know you didn't choose to die,
Mr. Wiseman.
- Lisee, come on, what's the matter?
- Michael.
- What's the matter?
- Stop it.
MORRIS:
I saw your family.
I know how precious they must be
to you.
But your government
can't let anyone know
about the existence
of this technology.
It's a weekday.
You reaching out
to anyone from your past
absolutely guarantees
- your immediate and final death.
- Hello?
MORRIS: And the death
of whomever you confided in.
- Lisee.
- I need you to tell me
you understand and agree to that.
[GRUNTING]
MICHAEL: And what if I say no?
What if I won't do it?
Hey, this is America.
That's your right.
MORRIS: Of course,
we'll have to take our $3 billion worth
of logic sensors, voice emulators,
computer-driven
neuron transfer generators
and assorted other doodads
and go home.
MAN:- What the hell?
MORRIS:- Let nature take its course.
[MICHAEL GRUNTS]
MICHAEL:
I need your help.
I don't have any money
and I need to see Lisa.
Lisa Wiseman and Heather.
Will you take me to see them?
You're a really good friend
of Michael's. I know that.
So was I.
You are
Michael, aren't you?
Forget you came up with that.
Reincarnated.
[CHUCKLES]
Bingo.
He thinks you're God,
Wiseman's been reincarnated,
and I'm some kind of burning bush.
If you breathe a word
of what you've seen tonight,
if you breathe a single syllable
of your theory,
I will smite your ass so fast,
you'll skip right past heaven and hell
and be turned straight into pus.
[SINGING]
Groovin' ♪
Oh, on a crowded avenue ♪
LISA:
Can I buy you a pair of shoes?
What size are you?
I have no idea.
Tell me about my funeral.
MORRIS:
Your wife didn't wear black.
She wore orange.
No!
I wanna live. I wanna live.
I wanna live.
I wanna live. I wanna
This was received by the mayor's
office three and a half hours ago.
Blind e-mail
that was written in Chinese.
MAN: What I'm about to read to you
is a translation provided by the FBI.
"Mr. Mayor.
Perhaps you have read about me."
[SCREAMS]
"I have unleashed nerve gas attacks
in Japan and France."
"Now it is time for your continent."
"Now it is time for your city."
[SCREAMS]
"All of this can be avoided, however,
if you will wire transfer $100 million"
"within the next 72 hours
to the indicated account.”
MORRIS:
And now for our feature attraction.
[ROOSTER CROWS]
[ALARM BEEPS]
My God.
Lisa.
I believe I've had an epiphany.
- Excuse me?
- An epiphany.
A mystical but clarifying experience.
Well, that's nice.
But I am angry with you,
Roger Bender.
I know you are,
and you have every reason to be.
I've been a dreadful friend.
You needed my help
getting that insurance money
and I haven't given it to you,
but I'm a new man,
a changed man.
A man dedicated
to doing the right thing
no matter the consequence.
And that is why, tomorrow morning,
I am marching
into that twerp Spence's office
and I am demanding
that he make everything right with you.
And if he doesn't, I am on the phone
to the Insurance Commission
in Washington
and I'm singing like all three tenors
and I'm
Roger?
May I come in for a minute?
Where did you get this?
Well, someone gave it to me last night.
Why?
He found you.
Oh, my God.
Gosh. I meant gosh.
Damn. Golly.
Who found me?
What are you talking about?
I got that from a homeless man.
It's yours?
It is yours, isn't it?
What's going on here?
Why was he wearing your jacket?
And what did you mean
that he found me?
Lisa, you're asking me
to screw up my entire afterlife here.
What are you talking about?
What are you not telling me?
You know him, don't you?
The man who gave me that jacket,
you know him.
You know who I'm talking about.
Have you been following me?
I swear not me.
Not you. Well, somebody. Who?
Grand Empire Insurance?
Lisa, please, don't ask me anything.
What do you mean,
don't ask you anything?
What happened to the "new man",
the "changed man",
the man willing to do the right thing
no matter what the consequences?
But he said if I told he would kill me.
Who? Who would kill you?
God.
He said he would smite me.
Smite me, for God's sake.
Go home, Roger.
Just get some sleep.
Didn't he seem familiar?
What did you say?
Nothing. I shouldn't have said that.
I'm not gonna say another thing.
I don't even know
if you know what you're saying.
And this is so cruel.
I've never done anything important,
anything noble in my whole life.
I'll make you a deal.
Let's look for him.
Just you and me.
Because I think he's got something
he wants to tell you.
And I give you my word,
if we can't find him,
I will tell you everything.
The whole astounding story.
Probably come back as nail fungus.
But I swear, Lisa,
I will tell you everything.
WOMAN [ON TV]:
Repeating this latest word.
Police have confirmed this morning's
massacre at the Petrie Hotel
was caused by the release
of a biochemical agent
which has now
been fully contained.
Twenty-three people dead.
Another 17 remain hospitalized.
- Whether the attack was accidental
- What does this have to do with me?
remains unclear at this time,
although unsubstantiated reports
of ransom demands have
[GRUNTING]
[GASPS]
MORRIS:
Whoa. Six minutes, 11 seconds.
That could come in handy.
How do you feel?
Oh, it's hard to tell.
Lack of oxygen
may have given me brain damage.
But I'm under warranty, right?
What are you talking about,
"handy"?
I think yesterday's attack
was an accident.
An accident? Are you saying
some guy wiped out two floors
of a major midtown hotel
and it was a boo-boo?
I'm telling you what the media
and the public don't know.
That when it happened,
the mayor's office had already received
a nerve gas attack threat.
- Okay.
- For the day after tomorrow.
Yeah,
maybe they get a lot of these things.
We think our guy
must have been using a mask
when something went wrong.
I'm confused.
If it was an accident,
how do you know
he wasn't one of the victims?
What makes you think
he was wearing a mask?
How you know he just isn't dead?
In which case,
I'd like to just go dry my hair now.
The city just received
a new ransom note.
It seems whoever is behind this
has moved up the timetable to tonight.
He wants 10 million in bearer bonds.
No more wire transfers,
no more three-day lead time.
He wants to meet one man
with a satchel full of bonds.
I volunteered you.
I don't get it. What am I gonna do?
Am I gonna run real fast?
Am I gonna beat him at arm wrestling?
Have a contest to see
who can hold his breath the longest?
Kind of stuff this guy is using,
within three seconds
of inhaling just a micro-particle of it,
it attacks
the central nervous system.
You heart starts pumping two
then three,
and eventually 10 times faster
than normal,
forcing blood to the extremities.
Within 30 seconds,
the capillary walls burst,
then the interior of your body
is flooded with fluid.
But it's okay.
The brain's already stopped
functioning, so there's no real pain.
But I don't have capillary walls, right?
So this won't affect me.
No. You have capillary walls.
You have lots of capillary walls.
- But--?
- But why send in a real live man
when you can send in one
who's already died?
What? That's it?
That's what makes me the right man
for this job?
Because I've been dead?
Can we discuss this, please?
Guy to guy. Man to man.
Science fair project to scientist.
Heh, heh.
Look, I'm not really sure
I'm ready for a mission,
particularly this mission.
Oh, come on, let's take a step back
and look at my qualifications.
I was dead.
I mean, think about it, doc.
A lot of people have been dead.
Heck,
I think it's safe to say that everyone
at one time or another in their lives
is gonna be dead.
I mean, if I were looking for a guy
to save the world,
dead wouldn't be
the make-it-or-break-it quality to me.
You're stronger
than any man on the planet.
You're faster than any man
on the planet.
And theoretically, at least,
if something should happen to you,
I could, if I had a couple
of billion dollars and a new brain,
build another unit to replace you.
Ahh, you're saying that
to make me feel better.
Would you climb this ladder, please,
Mr. Wiseman?
You got it, doc.
What are we working on now?
Speed painting?
Now, this is something
I could excel at.
Just give me a roller
and watch me work.
That saving the world stuff,
I'm not sure that's me.
But home improvement,
I feel I can make a real contribution
in that area. Phew.
What's this for?
Killing evil contractors?
Mr. Wiseman,
we have no idea who our foe is tonight,
what he looks like,
how heavily armed he might be.
Is he really gonna show up alone
or will he have a dozen men
working with him?
In the face of all these unknowns,
I'd like you to have every possible
advantage at your disposal.
You want me to shoot him
with this thing?
The idea is,
in addition to your great speed,
this will give you lateral freedom.
Look, say you're waiting for him
on the south side of the street
and he suddenly appears
on the north side.
- Yeah?
- You see that beam?
Aim for it.
- Wow.
- Very nice.
Yeah,
you should see me at school carnivals.
There's a small guidance system
in the hook.
It senses what you're aiming for
and homes in on it.
You take the fun out of everything.
Now, step off the ladder
and swing from that side of the room
to the other side of the room.
You know, that's--
That's not my area.
What's not your area?
Pretty much anything
having to do with gravity.
I'm a spectator sport kind of guy.
Let go of the ladder and swing
from the south side of the street
to the north.
This is not gonna hold me.
It absolutely will.
The weight threshold is calculated
by a sensor in the hook.
If it calculates that it can't,
the line will come back to you.
Okay, that's fine. But what if I fall?
What if I break something?
My leg or something?
Think about the taxpayer--
Doc, what are you do--? Doc.
[GRUNTING]
- Whoo!
- Now, on the next pass, backboard.
[MICHAEL WHOOPING]
[MORRIS LAUGHS]
[SINGING]
Fly me to the moon ♪
And let me play among the stars ♪
Let me see what spring is like ♪
On Jupiter and Mars ♪
In other words, grab my hand ♪
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Mr. Wiseman, what are you doing?
LISA:
Honey.
Surprise, surprise.
You remember your Uncle Roger?
Hello, sweetheart.
Whoa, looks like you got rolled.
LISA: Uncle Roger and I have to go
into the city.
I don't know what time
I'm coming home,
- so why don't you come with us?
- Will you buy me something?
Get in the car, please.
That's where latest note indicates
he wants to make the pickup.
- Franklin Street Station?
MAN:- Not exactly.
He wants to do it on the train
while it's moving.
At rush hour when it's full of people.
MORRIS:
Anyone talk to N.Y.P.D.?
Can those people
be plainclothes officers?
Well, they're gonna get as many men
on the target car as possible.
But it's rush hour. They can't very well
commandeer a train
without tipping our guy off.
Remember, we don't know
which station he's boarding the train.
- Don't know what this fella looks like.
- They've guaranteed us choppers
in the air, units on the street
ready to close off the perimeter.
Uh, we just need to flush out who he is,
which is where the prototype comes in.
Prototype?
Gentlemen, we make it a point
to refer to Mr. Wiseman
- as Mr. Wiseman.
MICHAEL:- That's okay.
They can just call me
by my model number
and I'll address you fellas
by your whole names.
What do you mean, "whole names"?
Well, you'll be A-hole
and you'll be B-hole and you'll be--
Well, you get the idea.
Gentlemen, I'm starting to suspect
that, uh, to facilitate our planning,
we should ask Mr. Wiseman
to join us. Mr. Wiseman.
I think you men would be astounded
at just how strong, just how fast
and just how agile
our new secret weapon is.
Plus, I can hold my breath longer
than a janitor
in a chili restaurant's men's room.
You're to board the second car
from the rear
of the Uptown-bound Number 2 train
at Franklin Street Station.
First one that arrives after 5:35.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5
What?
[CLEARS THROAT]
One of you fellas got a pen
I can borrow?
[FLIES BUZZING]
This is ridiculous.
A homeless man tells me he has
a townhouse on 63rd and Madison
and I actually come looking for him
on 63rd and Madison.
I don't even know
which townhouse it is.
We are not actually certain
that he does own a townhouse.
I don't mean to sound small-minded,
but he didn't exactly look like
townhouse material to me.
He looked more like flophouse
material to me. Don't you think?
- Ugh.
- Hello.
Uh, no. Yes.
Yeah, I'm here. I'm here.
Ten more minutes
and we're going home.
They'll be here to pick us up
in five minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong,
but I do believe
I see that there-and-then look
in your eyes again, Mr. Wiseman.
I thought we agreed
we were gonna concentrate
- on the here and now.
- Yeah, I know.
Call me an old softy,
but there's something
about staring at death a second time
that makes me nostalgic.
Lift your shirt, please.
And put this in your ear.
Now you'll be able to hear me
and I'll be able to hear you.
I feel so much better.
Now, remember, Mr. Wiseman,
your job is simply
to hand the man the money.
You're to take no further action
unless you're instructed.
Hopefully, the exchange will be made
without complication.
And when he flees,
local law enforcement will move in.
Are we together on this,
Mr. Wiseman?
Just hand the man the money.
No offense, but don't you think we're
kind of firing off a cannon to kill a flea?
Hand me my jacket, would you?
See how you did that?
Award-winning.
Imagine how great you'd do
with a satchel full of money.
You don't need me.
You need a bellhop.
Now, excuse me,
I haven't finished counting
how many tiles there are
in the ceiling just yet.
Mr. Wiseman,
somewhere along the way,
have I mistakenly
given you the impression
that you have a say
in what you will or won't do?
If I have, please accept my apology.
So if I tell you your job today
is to effect the safe
and expeditious transfer of money,
unless and until you hear otherwise,
your job is the safe
and expeditious transfer of money.
You are an experiment.
My experiment.
I will tell you when
and what you will do.
You are a part of this operation
for one reason and one reason only.
Any confrontation with any individual
using biological agents
is highly dangerous work.
If we could send a robot down there,
we would.
You just happen
to be the next best thing.
My daughter is doing her homework
in the backseat of a car.
She has a perfectly wonderful desk
in a really fabulous bedroom
in a really wonderful house
that her father worked hard
to buy for us.
And I have her out here
doing her homework
in the backseat of a car.
Oh, it's-- It's fine. Builds character.
Oh, how's it going?
Well, I read a chapter of Jane Eyre,
studied the parts
of the circulatory system
and now I'm trying
to do some geometry.
You wouldn't happen to have
a protractor on you, would you?
No, no,
I left it in my other coat. Sorry.
Sorry, I dragged you out here.
It's okay.
Mommy's acting a little crazy lately,
huh?
It's okay, Mom.
Let's go home.
Oh, there you go.
He lives here and he's a criminal.
Not funny.
A big important criminal.
Whoever he is,
he does pretty well for himself.
That's nice.
Let's go home.
Ten million dollars in bearer bonds.
Okay. Let's hit it.
Wait, wait, wait. We got movement.
People are coming out
of that building.
I think it's him.
It's him.
You're not talking about that hottie
in the middle, are you?
MAN:
FBI lab results are in.
Turns out he uses
ordinary chicken eggs as containers.
Now, the protein in the shell
doesn't contaminate the gas
and the fragile container
makes for a quick, virtually foolproof
delivery system.
Crack the egg, free the gas.
I was thinking
maybe I should have a gas mask.
His note says he sees a mask,
he drops an egg.
Uh-huh.
[SIREN WAILING]
You know, if this goes late and we
end up getting home after midnight,
you better write me a note
so I can skip my first three periods.
Sweetheart, let mommy concentrate
on the driving now, okay?
LISA:
They're stopping.
This is so cool.
You think we'll be on Cops?
Pull over here and let's get out.
MORRIS [OVER RADIO]:
Mr. Wiseman, I don't hear anything.
Is everything okay?
Oh, yeah.
Just taking a second
thinking about what I have to do.
[SQUEAKS]
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
First one after 5:35,
second car from the rear,
Uptown-bound Number 2.
LISA: For a guy who doesn't know
his own shoe size,
you clean up very nicely.
- Thank me later.
- What's with the police escort?
- You running for office?
- What are you all doing here?
- To be honest, I'm not sure.
- Get in the next car. Now!
- What?
- Go.
Mr. Wiseman, are you talking to
somebody? Have you made contact?
No. Go!
- Mr. Wiseman.
- Go.
MORRIS:- Do you see him?
- No.
But then I don't know
who we're looking for.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
Excuse me. Pardon me.
Hey, I, uh--
I think we got a live one.
MORRIS:
Are you sure it's him?
Either that or some straphanger
is making
a really kinky fashion statement.
MORRIS: Now, remember,
Just hand the man the bag.
Gotta tell you, though,
he's a really puny guy.
A midget.
Not even a midget, a midge.
I'm telling you, I can take him.
Hell,
even your Aunt Minnie could take him.
Pick one.
MORRIS: What are you doing?
Did you give him the bag?
Mr. Wiseman, answer me.
Mr. Wiseman?
[GRUNTING]
Mr. Wiseman,
what's going on down there?
Mr. Wiseman.
Mr. Wiseman.
Are you
a plainclothes police officer?
How about you?
Are you working undercover?
[GROANS]
Excuse me, people, is there
a plainclothes cop down here?
I have this egg
and I'm in kind of a hurry.
Lisa. Lisa. Lisa.
Lisa. Wait. I'm in a hurry and I need
your help. I need you to hold this egg.
Stay away from us.
Why don't you give me your egg?
She's pretty upset.
Lisa, you didn't hear me.
I need your help.
- Would you take her upstairs?
- Yes.
Excuse me, but aren't you the guy
who just yelled at me
in front of a train full of people
and ordered me to go?
- Yes, but--
- Well, consider me gone.
- But, Lisa--
- Stop saying my name
like you've known me
for a million years.
And stop acting so familiar.
You are completely unfamiliar.
In fact, you're crazy.
You're a crazy man walking around
asking people to hold his eggs.
Screw you. Screw you.
Really? You sure?
It's a weekday, you know?
What did you say?
I said
you're the person in the world
I trust most.
So, please, take this up to the street.
Give it to a Dr. Theodore Morris.
Just ask for him.
He'll be up there with the police.
And don't ask me why,
but whatever you do, don't drop it
and don't crack it.
Okay.
And don't hold this against me.
Okay, I won't.
[CHUCKLES]
[TRAIN RUMBLES
THEN ELECTRICITY CRACKLES]
Stop!
I'm telling you what he told me,
"puny".
That's the only description I got
before we lost contact.
No. No, forget that.
Look for my guy.
Six feet tall, 175,
moves like the wind.
Excuse me,
does anybody here know
if there's a Dr. Theodore Morris
around?
I'm Dr. Morris. Can I help you?
A man downstairs asked me
to give you this.
- I don't know why.
- Thank you.
- So how's the man downstairs doing?
- Well, he wa-- He was busy.
- You know him?
- Since the day he was born.
- You?
- Me?
No. Well, not really.
- Who is he?
- I can't tell you his name.
We work together.
Government work.
Highly sensitive. Internal Revenue.
Oh, my.
You didn't see anything strange
down there, did you?
He didn't do anything unusual,
did he?
Well, he gave me an egg
and then he kissed me.
- He did?
- He did?
Oh, my.
That's-- That's very distressing.
He's not supposed to do that.
You have my word, ma'am,
that he will be given
the most severe reprimand possible.
Well, let's not go overboard.
It wasn't completely unpleasant.
Mom.
We're gonna go home.
- Could I ask you a favor?
- Certainly.
Say "smite".
Smite.
Say "pus".
Pus.
Anything else?
I guess not. Thanks.
I don't completely understand it,
but I think I've been made a fool of.
Excuse me.
Pardon me.
I'm in a hurry.
Excuse me.
Although he did rip the door
off my car.
I think.
Mom, did you really kiss him?
How old a man
would you say he was?
Mom, you're a mom.
I wonder if we'll ever see him again.
[BODY THUDS
THEN LISA SCREAMS]
I can't see from the street
and I don't wanna lose that cab.
Of course.
Okay.
Can you get a little closer?
[MAN GRUNTS]
[GASPS]
Bleed, damn it!
Bye-bye.
You've been bluffing?
The egg in the subway,
that was your last egg?
Bye.
Scientist to science fair project.
I'm very proud.
Where are they?
Being treated to a night
at a first-class Manhattan hotel
while their car is being repaired.
And then being escorted to their home
tomorrow morning
by a friendly IRS agent.
Or maybe
it was a friendly ATF agent.
Or maybe the guy
was from the FCC.
I don't remember
what I told her anymore.
Oh, you didn't really think I was gonna
invite her back for milk and cookies?
You're dead, my friend.
And you're just gonna have to learn
to live with that.
- Bye, Uncle Roger.
- Bye, Roger.
Bye. I'll see you.