Now Apocalypse (2019) s01e03 Episode Script
The Rules of Attraction
1 NARRATOR: Previously on Now Apocalypse FORD: I get it.
She's doing top-secret government work and shit.
This is Mitchell Kent.
He's one of the leading experts of extraterrestrial life forms in the country.
- OTTO: Barnabas! - Otto! You know, Ford has written the most incredible script.
I'd love to read it.
- This sort of feels like fate.
- Fate.
What should I do about Gabriel? CARLY: He's ghosting you.
Hey, do you wanna give the open relationship thing a try? I've been camming online for money.
Get on your knees! [soft groaning.]
[sighs.]
Aw.
[yawning.]
[sensual music.]
Touch her.
I want you to.
Tonight, I just want to watch you.
[soft panting.]
Oh, I love you.
[moaning.]
[soft panting.]
[moaning.]
[breathing heavily.]
[pleasurable screaming.]
[phone ringing.]
Aw, man.
Ah, hello? OTTO: Ford.
Yeah? OTTO: It's Otto.
Otto? Otto! Uh Hey, man! Uh, how are you? What what's going on? I just wanted to call and let you know how fantastic it was meeting you last night.
Thanks, dude! Yeah, you too.
Gracias, Miguel.
So, I was thinking, if you wanted me to read that script of yours that, uh you should bring it by the house.
Are you kidding me? That, that would be amazing.
What are you doing later today? Uh, nothing.
I'm free all day.
I'll have my assistant text you the address, and uh, shall we say, 1:30ish? Perhaps pick up some lunch beside the pool.
Sure.
See you then.
Oh, and, uh, don't forget your swimsuit.
- [exciting electronic music.]
- [sighs.]
I didn't wanna lie, but I knew the idea of some guy paying to watch me finger my butt hole would totally freak him out.
Jethro is such a prude.
Honestly though, the whole like, S&M thing kind of started as an accident, but then it tapped into something real, like, like with Jethro and me.
It was like finally I got to cut him open and get to the mess of his insides.
Ew.
But, cool? Also, I'm realizing that I really enjoy being a dom.
It makes me feel like an emotional puppet master.
So you're a top? If you insist on reductive homo-terminology.
Anyway, how's the new job? On the plus side, I don't have to talk to anyone.
On the minus side - [grunting.]
- Somebody there? [girl moaning.]
[screaming.]
Did you see like, full penetration, everything? Yuck, God, no.
Maybe a little.
Honestly, though, if you think about it, it's kinda nice that as horrible as their day-to-day lives are, at least they're still getting some.
Only you would think of it that way.
Turns out there's a lot of homeless in the area.
Yeah, by area you mean America? [car door slamming.]
[flies buzzing.]
[phone ringing.]
Hello, stranger.
Overextended as usual.
Well, ma chérie, there is.
Much to my chagrin, I'm in your idyllic, sunny little town.
Really, for how long? Just for tonight.
I'm on my way to Tokyo.
Tokyo? Listen, I'm in the middle of something at work.
- Can I call you back.
- Of course.
Au revoir.
So, what do we have here? Very similar to the others in the report.
["Life's What You Make It" song.]
Have you secured the perimeter? Yes, Severine.
And contained the situation? CARLY: There's no mystery here.
This all just seems like your falling-for-unavailable-angst-boy norm.
Yeah, but there's, there's something else about Gabriel that I-I forgot to tell you? He's uncut? - Okay.
- [chuckles.]
Do you remember the dream that I was telling you about? The one where I'm wandering through darkened ruins? With the big green alien? So right in the exact spot where I saw With the big green alien? There was this spray-painted hieroglyph.
Bolts of lightning forming a W around the world.
Yeah? Well, when Gabriel and I were on our date, I noticed What is what is that? So? So when I asked him what it was, he said I don't know.
It's just something that came to me in a dream.
You think that's a coincidence? No, dude.
.
[sighs.]
The universe is bizarre and random.
Shit like that happens all the time.
It doesn't always have to mean something.
Plus, um, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, you have an extremely active imagination.
OTTO: You don't know what you're missing out on.
Yeah, my mom always told me not to go swimming till 30 minutes after eating.
[chuckles.]
Okay.
I'm totally down for later though.
No pressure.
So, Ford, why don't you tell me where you're from.
Kansas, originally.
Yeah, we moved around a lot when I was a kid.
My family's in Denver now, though.
How about you? I was born in Vienna, school in London.
Now I split my time between Berlin, Sydney, and L.
A.
Whoa, you must really rack up the frequent flyer miles.
Hmm.
What, do I have something in my teeth? [chuckles.]
No.
I'm sure you must hear this all the time, but you are an extraordinarily beautiful man.
What? [laughing.]
Not really, actually, thank you.
Uh, you are not so bad looking yourself.
[laughing.]
Flattery will get you far in this town.
But seriously, though, you are a living piece of art, and I must shoot you.
What do you mean? Oh, like pictures? [Otto laughing.]
Yes, like pictures.
Taschen's publishing a book of my photography next fall, and you must model for me.
Oh, no, I'm not much of a model.
Mm-mmm.
I insist.
I'm not taking no for an answer.
Meanwhile will you do my back? Uh, sure.
[lotion squirting.]
Ooh, smells nice.
Mmm.
Okay, now, I want you to look in your partner's eyes, directly into their eyes, and tell them you want to fuck them.
Um [inhales deeply.]
I want to fuck you.
Carly, no.
You need to tell him using your eyes.
A good actor can express anything, even complicated mathematical equations, by simply moving their eyeballs.
Yes.
There ya go.
Okay.
Persona número dos, I want you to look at your partner and tell them you wanna fuck their brains out.
- Frank? - Yes, Kai? As a cis-gender, heterosexual male, I feel uncomfortable expressing that level of sexual aggression without my partner's explicit consent.
Consent is for pussies, Kai.
Stop being a beta-male, and tell Carly you wanna fuck her.
Remember, it's not real.
That's why it's called acting.
Dude, I-I'm supposed to be your lover, not a solar eclipse.
Is Carly right? Am-am I losing it? Is my life so fucking boring and unremarkable that my mind is conjuring up shit to occupy itself? On one hand, I can't shake this gnawing dread, this feeling that there's something going on just below the surface of everyday life, something twisted and horrifying, and that somehow, everything is linked: Gabriel disappearing, my weird nightmares, like it's an important message that I'm supposed to be receiving, but I can't, I can't quite decipher, and it's vital that I keep a record of it.
[inhales.]
[exhales.]
But on the other hand, I do smoke a lot of weed.
FRANK: Hey, Carly.
Oh, hey Frank.
- You want some? - I'm good.
- How's the grind? - It's not bad.
My agent actually just got me an audition that I'm pretty excited about.
It's for Fast and Furious 12.
That's fantastic.
Would you like to work on your scenes with me outside of class? I do private coaching, you know.
Maybe, how much do you charge? Normally, $200 an hour, but this one's on me.
Just make it easy for me.
Come to my place in Laurel Canyon, say around 8:00? Uh, okay.
Cool, well, thanks.
[dance music.]
[exhales.]
[stroking.]
[pleasurable groaning.]
OTTO: Yes, beautiful.
Yes, that's it.
[camera shutter clicks.]
You're hot, Ford.
Be hot.
Make love to my camera, make love to it.
Okay, now slow down.
Make sweet love to it, yes.
Okay, now fuck it! Fuck it harder! Ram it in there! Ram it in there! Yeah! Yeah! Ooh, look at you.
You're a saber-tooth tiger.
- [growling.]
- Yeah! Yeah! You're a greasy dolphin.
[making dolphin screeching noises.]
Spurt it out your blowhole! Spurt it out your blowhole! Yeah, you're the king of the mountain! Put the cake in your mouth, taste it! - Yeah, oh, look at you! - Mmm! It's so delicious! - [growling.]
- Cake lad, yeah! Find your pose, you're on fire! So much sugar, so hot, so hot! [soft rock music.]
[phone dinging.]
[phone dinging.]
[contents clattering.]
[vibrator buzzing.]
[exhales softly.]
[thudding.]
[clanking in distance.]
Amber? [stutters.]
What's, what's going on? Oh, uh, hey, Carly.
Sorry for the short notice, but I'm moving.
Wait, what? I'm moving out.
[stuttering.]
Yo-you're, you're moving? When? Today.
Uh, t-today? [sighs.]
I am going to Utah to join an ashram with Moonshadow.
Who the fuck is Moonshadow? Amber, it doesn't really sound like you've thought any of this through.
I haven't, but I'm learning how to dive into the energy flow of my own destiny.
Maybe you should just sleep on it for like, a night or two? Like this is a pretty major decision.
No, I know, and that's why I am so excited about it.
Like, I am a brand new me.
Amber, I'm, I'm sorry, but you realize how badly this is all like, fucking me over, right? Rent is due in like, a week.
I acknowledge that, Carly, I do, and I am truly sorry, but this is a golden door of opportunity for me, and I just can't pass it up.
[melancholy instrumental music.]
[man laughing.]
[indistinct conversation.]
[snarling.]
[clutters.]
[women speaking indistinctly.]
[dramatic guitar music.]
MAN: That's a good one.
That guy, Mitchell Kent, really knows what he's talking about.
[book thudding.]
So I'm supposed to be putting out a fire in a car engine while also putting on lingerie.
It's not fucking Strindberg, is it? [laughing.]
Thank you.
You alright? You seem tense.
Oh, really? No, I'm I'm sorry, I'm-I'm all good.
Okay, good.
Cheers.
[clinking.]
It's funny because you don't seem like someone who would wanna even do this? What do you mean, do what? I mean you're a normal, well-adjusted person, why the hell would you choose to be an actor? Huh.
Yeah, uh, I guess I have always felt that there's something sort of pathetic about acting.
If you're a, a writer or a painter, you can constantly be creating stuff on your own, but as an actor, you're relegated to waiting for the phone to ring, worrying if you're inadequate.
It is an inherently masochistic profession.
Yeah, kind of.
[Carly slurping.]
So what do you say we warm up a little.
Like a, like vocal exercises? No.
Like, let's get in the hot tub! [chuckles.]
Oh, uh, what about the You'll read better if you loosen up, trust me.
There's a bathing suit in the bathroom for you.
[footsteps receding.]
[door shutting.]
So, is this Ford another one of your little boy toys? No, it's more than that.
You know who you're like? Brigitte Bardot.
She was one of the first women to be truly modern and treat men like love object.
She used them and discards them.
I told you, it's not like that this time.
Oh, and what is it that you like so much about this boy? He's sincere.
[laughing.]
Ah, this is what I can't stand about Los Angeles.
The level of sincerity with these people, it's terrifying.
And what about you? Are you seeing anyone? Dominique.
She's a heart surgeon.
I've always loved brilliant women.
You have such a gorgeous house.
Thank you.
I had to fight tooth and nail to keep it in the divorce.
Oh, you were, you were married? Yes, twice.
Never again.
Men are fucking parasites.
Oh, I always assumed that you were A faggot? I-I wouldn't say that.
You'd be half right.
I was on men in the '90s, but I also did a lot of that powder cocaine.
Hmm.
What about you? You seem straight, but you never know these days.
Well, I'm a millennial, so sexual fluidity is kind of a requirement.
Do you have a boyfriend? [clicks lips.]
I do.
Don't sound too excited.
Yeah.
Sorry, that, uh, came out weird.
You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman.
You don't need a man.
ULYSSES: I don't get it.
From the moment me and Gabriel met, there was this insane, almost supernatural connection between us, and then he disappears without a trace.
Love is strange, dude.
Yeah.
And super confusing.
Like you know how crazy I am about Severine, and how much I totally worship her.
I mean, as far as girls go, she's pretty much perfect in every possible way.
No argument here.
But fucking another girl while she was watching, you know? [splashing.]
Playing with herself, Jesus, I came so hard, I almost turned inside out.
- Nice.
- I know.
So this uh, polygamy thing seems to be working out for you guys? Well, yeah, I mean, so far, it's kind of awesome.
I've always found threeways sort of bewildering myself.
Like I, I never know, like, where to sit? I know, right? But I love Severine so much, I'm willing to do whatever I can to make her happy.
- Hmm.
- [phone ringing.]
Oh, speaking of the devil.
Hey, babe.
[laughing.]
We were just talking about you.
Oh, favorably I hope.
FORD: Of course.
I was just telling Uly about our night last night, and how amazing it was.
I'm glad you're enjoying our new open arrangement, Ford.
It's just so much healthier and more sensible.
Yeah, for sure.
I just checked my phone and noticed you called several times? Is there something you need? Nope, just wanted to say hi and I love you.
So am I gonna see you later? I don't think I can tonight.
My ex, Mustafa, is in town from Paris and we're catching up.
Oh? It appears I'll be busy for the rest of the evening, but tomorrow night perhaps? Yeah, su-sure.
Uh, Sev? Yes, Ford? You're not gonna, you know like, uh, do anything, are ya? What do you mean? You know, like, have sex or something? With Mustafa? Yeah.
I already have.
Twice, as a matter of fact.
I'm so relieved I'm no longer burdened with fear and possessiveness, aren't you? Yeah.
I'll talk to you tomorrow then.
Okay, night.
I love you.
SEVERINE: Me too.
Goodnight, Ford.
[phone beeps.]
Oh, man.
You okay? [voice shaking.]
Uh, yes.
[Ford sobbing.]
That's okay, that's okay.
You have your cake and you eat it, too, huh? How very progressive of you.
I find it so much more practical separating biology from emotion.
Why, are you and Dominique not open? She's quite old-fashioned in that way, if you can believe it.
So she doesn't know, for instance, about Oh, no, no.
[speaking French.]
It's best if everyone just pretends to be happy and monogamous, and then secretly does whatever they want.
It's a classical way to have a relationship.
You're so French.
So are you, you bitch.
This is why I could never be with you.
Why is that? Because you hate yourself, so you will never let yourself be who you are or have what you want.
I'm quite happy, darling.
Ah! Don't worry about me.
FRANK: Women are all-powerful due to the fact that we have a vagina.
We are the source of life itself.
Men are just drones we keep around to fertilize the eggs.
Uh, I don't know if that's 100% right.
Can your boyfriend make you cum? Sort of, with my help.
If a man wants to make a woman orgasm, the best he can do is try not to get in the way.
Only a woman can truly know how to satisfy another woman.
Um, lo-look, I-I'm sorry, I can't.
I, I did not mean for this Typical.
- What? - I said typical.
You're nothing but a typical pussy tease.
Excuse me? You pretend to be all naive.
You come in here acting coy and innocent.
Put on your slutty bathing suit.
What I-I came here to work on my audition.
Oh, yeah right, keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll start believing it.
Wow.
Okay.
Run away.
Poor baby can't handle the brutal truth.
You know, you and your yes-means-yes cronies, you're all just a bunch of entitled infants who grew up without any fucking structure or rules.
P.
S.
Don't bother coming to class next week.
OK.
Cunt.
[grunting.]
Are they still watching us? What what do you mean, who? [both breathing heavily.]
Them, out there.
They've been watching our every move.
Just keep looking into my eyes.
Don't let them know that we know.
What uh, what are you talking about? Everyone out there is watching us, and we have to pretend that we don't know what's going on.
[soft moans.]
I don't understand.
Stop pretending you don't know.
- Know what? - That it's our destiny to be together.
And that it's up to the two of us [Gabriel moaning.]
to save the world.
[both moaning.]
[crickets chirping.]
[phone dinging.]
[message whooshes.]
[message whooshes.]
["Life's What You Make It" song.]
You don't hold A candle You don't hold A candle You don't hold A candle
She's doing top-secret government work and shit.
This is Mitchell Kent.
He's one of the leading experts of extraterrestrial life forms in the country.
- OTTO: Barnabas! - Otto! You know, Ford has written the most incredible script.
I'd love to read it.
- This sort of feels like fate.
- Fate.
What should I do about Gabriel? CARLY: He's ghosting you.
Hey, do you wanna give the open relationship thing a try? I've been camming online for money.
Get on your knees! [soft groaning.]
[sighs.]
Aw.
[yawning.]
[sensual music.]
Touch her.
I want you to.
Tonight, I just want to watch you.
[soft panting.]
Oh, I love you.
[moaning.]
[soft panting.]
[moaning.]
[breathing heavily.]
[pleasurable screaming.]
[phone ringing.]
Aw, man.
Ah, hello? OTTO: Ford.
Yeah? OTTO: It's Otto.
Otto? Otto! Uh Hey, man! Uh, how are you? What what's going on? I just wanted to call and let you know how fantastic it was meeting you last night.
Thanks, dude! Yeah, you too.
Gracias, Miguel.
So, I was thinking, if you wanted me to read that script of yours that, uh you should bring it by the house.
Are you kidding me? That, that would be amazing.
What are you doing later today? Uh, nothing.
I'm free all day.
I'll have my assistant text you the address, and uh, shall we say, 1:30ish? Perhaps pick up some lunch beside the pool.
Sure.
See you then.
Oh, and, uh, don't forget your swimsuit.
- [exciting electronic music.]
- [sighs.]
I didn't wanna lie, but I knew the idea of some guy paying to watch me finger my butt hole would totally freak him out.
Jethro is such a prude.
Honestly though, the whole like, S&M thing kind of started as an accident, but then it tapped into something real, like, like with Jethro and me.
It was like finally I got to cut him open and get to the mess of his insides.
Ew.
But, cool? Also, I'm realizing that I really enjoy being a dom.
It makes me feel like an emotional puppet master.
So you're a top? If you insist on reductive homo-terminology.
Anyway, how's the new job? On the plus side, I don't have to talk to anyone.
On the minus side - [grunting.]
- Somebody there? [girl moaning.]
[screaming.]
Did you see like, full penetration, everything? Yuck, God, no.
Maybe a little.
Honestly, though, if you think about it, it's kinda nice that as horrible as their day-to-day lives are, at least they're still getting some.
Only you would think of it that way.
Turns out there's a lot of homeless in the area.
Yeah, by area you mean America? [car door slamming.]
[flies buzzing.]
[phone ringing.]
Hello, stranger.
Overextended as usual.
Well, ma chérie, there is.
Much to my chagrin, I'm in your idyllic, sunny little town.
Really, for how long? Just for tonight.
I'm on my way to Tokyo.
Tokyo? Listen, I'm in the middle of something at work.
- Can I call you back.
- Of course.
Au revoir.
So, what do we have here? Very similar to the others in the report.
["Life's What You Make It" song.]
Have you secured the perimeter? Yes, Severine.
And contained the situation? CARLY: There's no mystery here.
This all just seems like your falling-for-unavailable-angst-boy norm.
Yeah, but there's, there's something else about Gabriel that I-I forgot to tell you? He's uncut? - Okay.
- [chuckles.]
Do you remember the dream that I was telling you about? The one where I'm wandering through darkened ruins? With the big green alien? So right in the exact spot where I saw With the big green alien? There was this spray-painted hieroglyph.
Bolts of lightning forming a W around the world.
Yeah? Well, when Gabriel and I were on our date, I noticed What is what is that? So? So when I asked him what it was, he said I don't know.
It's just something that came to me in a dream.
You think that's a coincidence? No, dude.
.
[sighs.]
The universe is bizarre and random.
Shit like that happens all the time.
It doesn't always have to mean something.
Plus, um, and I mean this in the most loving way possible, you have an extremely active imagination.
OTTO: You don't know what you're missing out on.
Yeah, my mom always told me not to go swimming till 30 minutes after eating.
[chuckles.]
Okay.
I'm totally down for later though.
No pressure.
So, Ford, why don't you tell me where you're from.
Kansas, originally.
Yeah, we moved around a lot when I was a kid.
My family's in Denver now, though.
How about you? I was born in Vienna, school in London.
Now I split my time between Berlin, Sydney, and L.
A.
Whoa, you must really rack up the frequent flyer miles.
Hmm.
What, do I have something in my teeth? [chuckles.]
No.
I'm sure you must hear this all the time, but you are an extraordinarily beautiful man.
What? [laughing.]
Not really, actually, thank you.
Uh, you are not so bad looking yourself.
[laughing.]
Flattery will get you far in this town.
But seriously, though, you are a living piece of art, and I must shoot you.
What do you mean? Oh, like pictures? [Otto laughing.]
Yes, like pictures.
Taschen's publishing a book of my photography next fall, and you must model for me.
Oh, no, I'm not much of a model.
Mm-mmm.
I insist.
I'm not taking no for an answer.
Meanwhile will you do my back? Uh, sure.
[lotion squirting.]
Ooh, smells nice.
Mmm.
Okay, now, I want you to look in your partner's eyes, directly into their eyes, and tell them you want to fuck them.
Um [inhales deeply.]
I want to fuck you.
Carly, no.
You need to tell him using your eyes.
A good actor can express anything, even complicated mathematical equations, by simply moving their eyeballs.
Yes.
There ya go.
Okay.
Persona número dos, I want you to look at your partner and tell them you wanna fuck their brains out.
- Frank? - Yes, Kai? As a cis-gender, heterosexual male, I feel uncomfortable expressing that level of sexual aggression without my partner's explicit consent.
Consent is for pussies, Kai.
Stop being a beta-male, and tell Carly you wanna fuck her.
Remember, it's not real.
That's why it's called acting.
Dude, I-I'm supposed to be your lover, not a solar eclipse.
Is Carly right? Am-am I losing it? Is my life so fucking boring and unremarkable that my mind is conjuring up shit to occupy itself? On one hand, I can't shake this gnawing dread, this feeling that there's something going on just below the surface of everyday life, something twisted and horrifying, and that somehow, everything is linked: Gabriel disappearing, my weird nightmares, like it's an important message that I'm supposed to be receiving, but I can't, I can't quite decipher, and it's vital that I keep a record of it.
[inhales.]
[exhales.]
But on the other hand, I do smoke a lot of weed.
FRANK: Hey, Carly.
Oh, hey Frank.
- You want some? - I'm good.
- How's the grind? - It's not bad.
My agent actually just got me an audition that I'm pretty excited about.
It's for Fast and Furious 12.
That's fantastic.
Would you like to work on your scenes with me outside of class? I do private coaching, you know.
Maybe, how much do you charge? Normally, $200 an hour, but this one's on me.
Just make it easy for me.
Come to my place in Laurel Canyon, say around 8:00? Uh, okay.
Cool, well, thanks.
[dance music.]
[exhales.]
[stroking.]
[pleasurable groaning.]
OTTO: Yes, beautiful.
Yes, that's it.
[camera shutter clicks.]
You're hot, Ford.
Be hot.
Make love to my camera, make love to it.
Okay, now slow down.
Make sweet love to it, yes.
Okay, now fuck it! Fuck it harder! Ram it in there! Ram it in there! Yeah! Yeah! Ooh, look at you.
You're a saber-tooth tiger.
- [growling.]
- Yeah! Yeah! You're a greasy dolphin.
[making dolphin screeching noises.]
Spurt it out your blowhole! Spurt it out your blowhole! Yeah, you're the king of the mountain! Put the cake in your mouth, taste it! - Yeah, oh, look at you! - Mmm! It's so delicious! - [growling.]
- Cake lad, yeah! Find your pose, you're on fire! So much sugar, so hot, so hot! [soft rock music.]
[phone dinging.]
[phone dinging.]
[contents clattering.]
[vibrator buzzing.]
[exhales softly.]
[thudding.]
[clanking in distance.]
Amber? [stutters.]
What's, what's going on? Oh, uh, hey, Carly.
Sorry for the short notice, but I'm moving.
Wait, what? I'm moving out.
[stuttering.]
Yo-you're, you're moving? When? Today.
Uh, t-today? [sighs.]
I am going to Utah to join an ashram with Moonshadow.
Who the fuck is Moonshadow? Amber, it doesn't really sound like you've thought any of this through.
I haven't, but I'm learning how to dive into the energy flow of my own destiny.
Maybe you should just sleep on it for like, a night or two? Like this is a pretty major decision.
No, I know, and that's why I am so excited about it.
Like, I am a brand new me.
Amber, I'm, I'm sorry, but you realize how badly this is all like, fucking me over, right? Rent is due in like, a week.
I acknowledge that, Carly, I do, and I am truly sorry, but this is a golden door of opportunity for me, and I just can't pass it up.
[melancholy instrumental music.]
[man laughing.]
[indistinct conversation.]
[snarling.]
[clutters.]
[women speaking indistinctly.]
[dramatic guitar music.]
MAN: That's a good one.
That guy, Mitchell Kent, really knows what he's talking about.
[book thudding.]
So I'm supposed to be putting out a fire in a car engine while also putting on lingerie.
It's not fucking Strindberg, is it? [laughing.]
Thank you.
You alright? You seem tense.
Oh, really? No, I'm I'm sorry, I'm-I'm all good.
Okay, good.
Cheers.
[clinking.]
It's funny because you don't seem like someone who would wanna even do this? What do you mean, do what? I mean you're a normal, well-adjusted person, why the hell would you choose to be an actor? Huh.
Yeah, uh, I guess I have always felt that there's something sort of pathetic about acting.
If you're a, a writer or a painter, you can constantly be creating stuff on your own, but as an actor, you're relegated to waiting for the phone to ring, worrying if you're inadequate.
It is an inherently masochistic profession.
Yeah, kind of.
[Carly slurping.]
So what do you say we warm up a little.
Like a, like vocal exercises? No.
Like, let's get in the hot tub! [chuckles.]
Oh, uh, what about the You'll read better if you loosen up, trust me.
There's a bathing suit in the bathroom for you.
[footsteps receding.]
[door shutting.]
So, is this Ford another one of your little boy toys? No, it's more than that.
You know who you're like? Brigitte Bardot.
She was one of the first women to be truly modern and treat men like love object.
She used them and discards them.
I told you, it's not like that this time.
Oh, and what is it that you like so much about this boy? He's sincere.
[laughing.]
Ah, this is what I can't stand about Los Angeles.
The level of sincerity with these people, it's terrifying.
And what about you? Are you seeing anyone? Dominique.
She's a heart surgeon.
I've always loved brilliant women.
You have such a gorgeous house.
Thank you.
I had to fight tooth and nail to keep it in the divorce.
Oh, you were, you were married? Yes, twice.
Never again.
Men are fucking parasites.
Oh, I always assumed that you were A faggot? I-I wouldn't say that.
You'd be half right.
I was on men in the '90s, but I also did a lot of that powder cocaine.
Hmm.
What about you? You seem straight, but you never know these days.
Well, I'm a millennial, so sexual fluidity is kind of a requirement.
Do you have a boyfriend? [clicks lips.]
I do.
Don't sound too excited.
Yeah.
Sorry, that, uh, came out weird.
You're a beautiful, intelligent young woman.
You don't need a man.
ULYSSES: I don't get it.
From the moment me and Gabriel met, there was this insane, almost supernatural connection between us, and then he disappears without a trace.
Love is strange, dude.
Yeah.
And super confusing.
Like you know how crazy I am about Severine, and how much I totally worship her.
I mean, as far as girls go, she's pretty much perfect in every possible way.
No argument here.
But fucking another girl while she was watching, you know? [splashing.]
Playing with herself, Jesus, I came so hard, I almost turned inside out.
- Nice.
- I know.
So this uh, polygamy thing seems to be working out for you guys? Well, yeah, I mean, so far, it's kind of awesome.
I've always found threeways sort of bewildering myself.
Like I, I never know, like, where to sit? I know, right? But I love Severine so much, I'm willing to do whatever I can to make her happy.
- Hmm.
- [phone ringing.]
Oh, speaking of the devil.
Hey, babe.
[laughing.]
We were just talking about you.
Oh, favorably I hope.
FORD: Of course.
I was just telling Uly about our night last night, and how amazing it was.
I'm glad you're enjoying our new open arrangement, Ford.
It's just so much healthier and more sensible.
Yeah, for sure.
I just checked my phone and noticed you called several times? Is there something you need? Nope, just wanted to say hi and I love you.
So am I gonna see you later? I don't think I can tonight.
My ex, Mustafa, is in town from Paris and we're catching up.
Oh? It appears I'll be busy for the rest of the evening, but tomorrow night perhaps? Yeah, su-sure.
Uh, Sev? Yes, Ford? You're not gonna, you know like, uh, do anything, are ya? What do you mean? You know, like, have sex or something? With Mustafa? Yeah.
I already have.
Twice, as a matter of fact.
I'm so relieved I'm no longer burdened with fear and possessiveness, aren't you? Yeah.
I'll talk to you tomorrow then.
Okay, night.
I love you.
SEVERINE: Me too.
Goodnight, Ford.
[phone beeps.]
Oh, man.
You okay? [voice shaking.]
Uh, yes.
[Ford sobbing.]
That's okay, that's okay.
You have your cake and you eat it, too, huh? How very progressive of you.
I find it so much more practical separating biology from emotion.
Why, are you and Dominique not open? She's quite old-fashioned in that way, if you can believe it.
So she doesn't know, for instance, about Oh, no, no.
[speaking French.]
It's best if everyone just pretends to be happy and monogamous, and then secretly does whatever they want.
It's a classical way to have a relationship.
You're so French.
So are you, you bitch.
This is why I could never be with you.
Why is that? Because you hate yourself, so you will never let yourself be who you are or have what you want.
I'm quite happy, darling.
Ah! Don't worry about me.
FRANK: Women are all-powerful due to the fact that we have a vagina.
We are the source of life itself.
Men are just drones we keep around to fertilize the eggs.
Uh, I don't know if that's 100% right.
Can your boyfriend make you cum? Sort of, with my help.
If a man wants to make a woman orgasm, the best he can do is try not to get in the way.
Only a woman can truly know how to satisfy another woman.
Um, lo-look, I-I'm sorry, I can't.
I, I did not mean for this Typical.
- What? - I said typical.
You're nothing but a typical pussy tease.
Excuse me? You pretend to be all naive.
You come in here acting coy and innocent.
Put on your slutty bathing suit.
What I-I came here to work on my audition.
Oh, yeah right, keep telling yourself that, maybe you'll start believing it.
Wow.
Okay.
Run away.
Poor baby can't handle the brutal truth.
You know, you and your yes-means-yes cronies, you're all just a bunch of entitled infants who grew up without any fucking structure or rules.
P.
S.
Don't bother coming to class next week.
OK.
Cunt.
[grunting.]
Are they still watching us? What what do you mean, who? [both breathing heavily.]
Them, out there.
They've been watching our every move.
Just keep looking into my eyes.
Don't let them know that we know.
What uh, what are you talking about? Everyone out there is watching us, and we have to pretend that we don't know what's going on.
[soft moans.]
I don't understand.
Stop pretending you don't know.
- Know what? - That it's our destiny to be together.
And that it's up to the two of us [Gabriel moaning.]
to save the world.
[both moaning.]
[crickets chirping.]
[phone dinging.]
[message whooshes.]
[message whooshes.]
["Life's What You Make It" song.]
You don't hold A candle You don't hold A candle You don't hold A candle