Our Zoo (2014) s01e03 Episode Script

What business did you say you were in? I didn't, Reverend.
I did hear right, didn't I? Zoological gardens? I thought I'd dealt with every business under the sun.
My late wife's family owned Oakfield.
I had no idea.
I need to talk to you about a member of our family.
What is all this? There's a deadline.
They've already moved a couple of man-eaters in there.
This sort of thing can end a career, Ronald.
Best kill off the whole venture now.
We don't own any lions.
Tigers, then.
Well, we don't have any tigers either.
Well, whatever they are, Mr Mottershead, they've got poor Mrs Pollard in a terrible spin.
He'll have a job explaining this.
A hell of a job.
Now then, Mrs Pollard, about these footprints.
Up there! What are you giving me that for? Well, they're your wild animals what are on the loose, Mr Mottershead.
I keep, I keep Find anything? Mr Mottershead? Bullocks.
Just bullocks.
'Our Zoo News.
Edition three.
'Running a zoo can be a dangerous business, but it's not always 'animals that cause the trouble, sometimes it's people.
' From a widow in the Wirral.
Had them shipped all the way from Brazil, but the neighbours couldn't stand the squawking.
That's neighbours for you.
Yeah.
I wouldn't stand there too long.
Right.
'The zoo is growing fast.
'Recent arrivals include three disobedient macaws, 'and a 100-year-old tortoise.
'Each day brings new challenges, big and small, 'but it's how the zookeeper deals with those challenges, 'that's when you learn if he's really up to the job.
' June! Mum says, may we please buy a pint? You've a bottle? And money? Have I got a surprise for you! Please tell me it's the parabolic heaters for the reptile house.
You've already asked for parabolic heaters.
Several times.
It wouldn't be much of a surprise then, would it.
Ta-dah! Oh! Some sort of dragon? That's an iguana, that.
Her name's Queenie.
And long may she reign.
Billy, she's splendid! She certainly is.
She's not heaters.
No more animals! Not until we've got places to put them and ways to keep them warm.
Promise me, Billy.
It's a disaster.
I disagree.
Oh, go on, then, let's hear it.
Well, we look upon this as an opportunity to change people's minds.
To inform them and to inspire them.
We go down there tonight, right, as a family.
A united front, you mean? Yeah, exactly.
Mother, what do you think? It would mean an awful lot if you were there.
Bit of wisdom in our corner.
Don't push it! Well, promise you're going to listen too, and not just chew their ears off.
I'll make sure of it.
Good.
Well, then, you don't need me there.
I'll stay and baby-sit June.
You are not to come here.
I made assurances to your grandmother.
She can't tell me what to do.
Not any more.
I'm a woman.
Over 16.
Well, I'm a woman over 16 and she certainly told me.
In any case, I shall see you this evening.
You will? Of course.
I'm coming to show my support.
May I at least borrow some more records? Very arresting, Mr Whitmarsh, very arresting indeed.
Yes, it's up to Upton, quite right.
There's been talk of a sabre-toothed tiger.
We've had it on good authority.
But the sabre-toothed tiger, Mrs Radler, is extinct.
I still wouldn't put it past them.
Don't be clever, Barnaby.
These are your patients, let's not forget.
Oh, Dr Ford, our man of the medical sciences, just the chap.
Do you have a moment? Oh! My best china! June! Here, George, this is perfect.
It's always a bit of a challenge, that moment at the start of any public meeting, when one must request silence, so my thanks to Mr Mottershead and family for removing that particular hurdle.
We're very glad that you chose to be with us this evening.
Now you can tell us what the hell's happening at Oakfield! We shall open up the meeting in a moment, Mr Fowler, though you do make a pertinent point, for the purpose of this evening's little get-together is indeed to determine whether the residents of Upton, this modest, Roman settlement, are in favour of the proposal to turn Oakfield House into a zoo, or not.
To create an entertainment, of sorts, for day trippers from the inner cities.
Or, as custodians of the local heritage, would we rather keep things, to borrow Mrs Hogg's expression from earlier, "just so"? That is the question.
Needless to say, throughout our deliberations, I shall remain impartial, a conduit for frank and forthright discussion.
But whatever is decided, I will represent our thoughts at the meeting of the Chester Council Planning Department on Friday morning.
These are fine, Queenie, but whatever you do, don't go near Grandad's auriculas.
You said he was allowed indoors.
In your bedroom, yes.
Not strutting about as if he owns the place.
He'll have been annoyed at me - spending so much time with the iguana.
You and all these animals, June, honestly.
There's to be no more.
Things are going to change.
Starting tomorrow.
Do you understand? Yes, Mr Fowler.
Foreign animals bring diseases.
It's a well-known fact.
I've a list of them here.
A list of foreign animals? Of diseases.
Oh.
Even if we get a fraction of this lot, my herd won't know what's hit it.
Who's to say we won't catch these diseases ourselves? Well, Mrs Radler, this is precisely why Dr Ford has kindly agreed to look into the medical implications for us.
Isn't that right, Doctor? What does a zoo make us but Blackpool without the pier? They'll bring litter, these tourists, you wait.
They'll bring their alcohol, their coarse accents.
And their "ways".
He knows we're right.
Look, he's not denying it! Ahem.
Um Good evening.
My name is George Mottershead.
And I'd like to thank you for welcoming us here tonight.
Like many of you here, I fought in the war.
And I saw good men pay the highest price, and this conflict, it, um, it taught me the value of life.
But not just human life .
.
but the lives of all things, all living creatures, great and small.
What were you called in trenches? Sergeant Doolittle? This zoo, it is it's an enormous undertaking.
But it brings with it rich rewards.
Not just for us .
.
but for Upton and for the animals that we bring there.
Be assured, every minute of every day is dedicated to getting this project off the ground.
Get it off the ground and take it somewhere else.
If the aim of this evening is debate, and I believe it is, we must let the gentleman speak.
She's on our side.
She's on somebody's side.
Oakfield will be different.
It'll be modern.
It'll be like nothing you've seen before.
Like the zoos on the Continent.
A place where animals won't be hidden in cages, they'll be free to roam as they would in the wild.
Oakfield will be a zoo without bars.
Zoos without bars?! What next, prisons without walls?! We've already had one escape.
No, no.
Last night.
Police came and everything.
They were your bullocks! Who says they were? Who'd keep bullocks in a zoo? You tell us.
What if these lions go near the school? I've got children! I've got three! Then bring them, please! Bring them to the zoo.
Let them see it for themselves.
They won't be coming anywhere near! We don't want your suburban safari.
Not round here.
Aye, go on, off with ya, sling your hook.
We leave in 20 minutes.
I have to feed the animals.
There's no time.
They need feeding.
And somebody will feed them.
But you're not turning up late, not on your first day.
Hey! I need that! I'm writing to the council, love, for their planning meeting.
Got to get ourselves heard.
You'll get it back by the time you finish the feed.
I can't do the feed.
I have to go to school.
Says who? 19 minutes.
You'll have to do it.
I can't, I'm doing the bears.
Grandad, then.
He's doing the birds.
You could tell Gran I can't go.
Mew, I need you to feed the animals, please, love.
But I'm no good with animals.
Well, then, it's your chance to learn.
Sooner we get this place up and running, sooner we can show the locals what we're about.
The locals don't want to know.
They were laughing at us, Dad.
They were laughing at you.
Look after the animals, please.
Especially the bears, they've not been well.
One last time.
Animals fed by noon, keep the kitchen window open so the iguana can hear Gran's wireless, and it's soft greens only for Llewellyn.
Who? The tortoise.
It's his teeth.
What's wrong with them? He hasn't got any.
We're leaving.
Have you got all that? Now! Tell Mortimer I'll be back to give him his tea! Where's the V? Where's the V? There's no V, don't tell me we've got one with no V.
Here.
You dictate, go on.
"Oakfield Zoological Gardens will be ".
.
will be revolutionary.
"Revolutionary.
"A place that draws inspiration from animal houses across Europe, "to house animals from across the world.
"A community focal point, a source of employment, "its visitors will be as happy as the animals "as the exotic creatures that they come to see.
" This is it, George, this is just the tone.
I think five yards over, don't you? The bear enclosure.
They've the exact same design at Hamburg Zoo.
Put that in, and don't forget to mention the cafe.
And the plants.
And the group discount, if that's what we're still offering.
They won't win, love.
These people.
All in the palm of his hand.
The palm of whose hand? Webb's.
He said he was impartial, George.
Do you believe that? Yes, I do.
He's a reverend.
I'll make this place so impressive that no matter what he tries, they'll have no choice but to like it.
Here we go, look.
I tell you what, for a family everyone's sick of the sight of, they don't mind showing their faces.
It's too tight.
What if I stop breathing altogether? You'll be held responsible.
Stop whining or I really will be.
Mrs Mottershead.
Reverend.
How is George? I worry he'll be thinking last night didn't quite go his way.
Well, then, come Sunday, Mrs Mottershead, we shall make sure to say a prayer.
Really? For George? Oh, Reverend, thank you.
Now then, young lady.
What subject are we most hoping to find at our Little Church School? Zoology.
Ugh! Oh! You haven't even drunk anything yet! Now, June.
Why don't you take a seat next to Norman? Norman? Mum says I'm not to go near them.
Near whom? The Mottersheads.
My mum says the same.
They've got germs.
Because they sleep in cages.
My dad says they're feral.
"Feral"? Does anyone here know what that word means? It means Gypsies.
Mr Mottershead? It's Archie, sir.
Archie Radler.
The shopkeeper's lad.
You were at the meeting.
I didn't agree with what got said.
Except what got said by you.
Is Muriel home? He's hiding away in his work.
Burying his head, like an ostrich.
Don't tell him that.
Put an idea in his head, a word like that.
I'm worried, Albert.
I know you are, love.
But that is going to be one hell of a bear enclosure.
Ahem.
The letter box is around the front.
I'm not delivering letters.
Not here.
I came to see you.
At the meeting last night, you seemed upset.
So I thought I'd, you know, check you were all right.
I'm meant to be looking after the animals.
The bears especially.
There are bears?! Here, in Upton?! Yes, Einstein.
It's a zoo.
Can I see 'em? See 'em? You can feed 'em if you like.
Follow me.
That's the trough down there.
You don't have to.
No.
I want to.
Do I run or move slowly? Your voice has gone all high.
Fast or slow? Mew! Well, I don't see the point in hanging around.
It's because he doesn't know me.
If I went back again, he'd be fine.
We're about to find out.
You forgot the bag of feed.
I'd better get back to my round.
Oh, come on.
Don't be like that.
Archie! We've written a letter to the planning committee.
It's our vision for the zoo - what we're doing, and how we're doing it.
I'll deliver it personally.
Thank you Frankie Frankie.
There's all sorts of rumours flying, you see.
Mrs Mottershead, it'll get there, I promise.
I think a zoo is a splendid idea.
What is a zoo without bars when it's at home? Is that even a zoo? It's these tropical diseases.
That's the phrase ringing in my ears.
And Dr Ford is hard at work diagnosing the risks.
His report is due any day.
And what if we're attacked by one of these "roaming beasts"? What then? Then they'll be shut down immediately, no question.
It's worrying.
It's bloody terrifying! Ladies, in my official capacity, I am of course impartial, but as a resident, as a Christian, well the idea that we might be in any sort of danger sits most uncomfortably.
So what what would you do, Reverend? In your position? I'd visit Selborne Hall.
Lord Ainslie's the biggest landowner in the parish.
The thoughts of Lady Katherine would therefore be taken very seriously.
It would do no harm at all to remind her of the mood in the village.
You really think she'd listen? To you, Mrs Radler? I don't doubt it.
Give me the good news, Henning, I've waited long enough.
The parabolic heaters, Henning.
They arrived last night.
We sold them this morning.
We had an agreement.
You were late.
The van was playing up.
But I've got something better.
From New Zealand.
They arrive Tuesday.
Pint? Councillor Tipping's office? 'Is the Councillor available?' Who's calling, please? 'This is Tim Gascoigne from the Chester Herald.
'Just looking to see if anyone's put in for a planning request 'to build a zoo.
' The zoo in Upton? 'So it's definitely true, then?' I've been doing what you wanted.
Feeding the animals.
But Archie left the feed in the bear stable.
Then go get it.
I can't, they won't let me.
One of them's angry.
Which one? I can't tell the difference.
Watch.
Go on! Strong, with confidence, and without rushing.
See? Sleeping.
That's good.
Hey, get off! No, I don't think so.
Are those your friends? Or are you just trying to look after them? They're beetles.
They don't need looking after.
They do now.
Right no more messing about.
Mortimer! Mortimer? June! Go away! June? How was it? I'm not talking to you.
I'm not talking to any more humans.
Where's Mortimer? Mortimer? Mortimer Mortimer? Mortimer? What's the matter? Oh, don't be scared.
Whatever they're like, those children, don't let 'em get to you.
Promise? Other people's views are always far more interesting, don't you find? You wouldn't want mine, your ladyship.
I don't know about that.
Right in the heart of the village.
If you look closely enough, you can almost see Oakfield.
There are a lot of people in this village who worry about what they're doing over there.
Are you one of them, Mrs Radler? I'd be lying if I said I wasn't.
What would your uncle make of it all? I've no idea.
He'd presumably have Upton's best interests at heart.
He's a good man, George Mottershead.
Gutsy.
Stands up for what he believes in.
I wonder, if your situations were reversed, would he be sneaking around plotting? I'm not sure he would.
I rather think he'd be better than that.
Mrs Mottershead? Tim Gascoigne from the Herald.
I thought I could be of some assistance.
You did? A piece in the paper.
Publicity by way of an interview, that sort of thing.
It's quite some story you've got here.
If it's true.
It is true.
Delighted to hear it.
Come in! As long as I'm not intruding.
Not for a minute.
Just to the right.
And besides, there's no such thing as bad publicity.
Yes, a lot of people seem to think that.
Whatever it is, Dad, it'll have to wait.
I'm helping.
It's tough work this, Dad.
Exactly.
Dad, put it down.
Listen, we can either waste time arguing or get this thing dug.
George? Up to you.
Look, just Dad! What? Think of it as a way to get the word out.
Set people straight.
He'll be one of them, Lizzie.
Ssh! He'll be one of them.
The opposition.
Bound to be.
Just talk to him.
He seems nice enough.
He's keen to meet you.
Will you do that? Where is he? He's having tea.
Who with? Oh, so plants as well as animals, you say? A zoological garden.
And you'd have preferred him to have focused on one aspect rather than the two? No aspects would have done me.
You know, they wonder why there's been a rumpus.
Rumpus? In Upton.
They don't want us anywhere near them.
Mr Gascoigne.
My apologies.
I was just approving some preliminary design work to a new enclosure of ours.
Please.
Thank you.
I don't mind admitting, I'm rather excited.
Meeting a man who believes he can create a zoo in Chester, of all places, that's fascinating.
May I ask, how does one become qualified for such a job? I mean, they can't just leave anyone in charge of wild beasts.
Then we really would be in a state! Yeah.
But in all seriousness.
You all right, lad? That's wonderful.
Thank you.
What's in the box? Arrived with a damaged wing.
Careful.
Injured, is she? He.
You can tell by the markings.
The males are always much brighter.
It's because, you know, they're so desperate to impress the females.
Is that right? Archie, you've gone all red.
Happy animals make for a happy zoo.
Do feel free to use that exact phrase, Mr Gascoigne.
That's not to say we don't want to draw the crowds.
On the contrary, there will be a number of what I'm calling star attractions.
Such as? Bears.
Camels.
Monkeys.
Iguanas.
And those are just the ones that we have here now.
I think, if you actually saw the animals and the way they're housed, you'd soon see the potential.
What an invitation! Finish your tea first, Mr Gascoigne.
No-one's in a rush.
There's a journalist here.
Being shown round.
We need this place looking ready.
I'll leave you to it.
No, you won't.
You're helping.
We'll get the birds in.
You have more? Yeah, we've got dozens.
It's getting them over here that's the problem.
I know! Forget what's in it, just empty it.
Everyone listening? After lunch, we'll be preparing for Friday's test.
Empire capitals.
That's any country on your maps that's pink.
What if we weren't given a map? Oh, then that's easy.
You fail.
Ow! June Mottershead! Barbara Pollard is your classmate, not some creature to be manhandled.
Come here.
They're horrid.
Now this is all about the sight-lines.
Instead of your traditional windows and walls set-up, which provides a barrier between the visitor and the bears, in this case, what we have here is more of a Ditch? It may look like that at the minute, Mr Gascoigne, I understand your joke, but it won't when it's finished.
Now, you see, the animals will be right there, in plain view, in touching distance, and the visitors will be completely and utterly safe.
It's cutting edge is this.
An invisible fortress.
They've the same design in Hanover.
Hamburg.
They've the same design in Hamburg.
This way, if you please, Mr Gascoigne.
And here, a structure to get every visitor talking.
I can't disagree with you there.
It'll take work.
No-one's saying it won't.
But think.
Every pane replaced, the framework restored.
You're looking at a reptile house to rival any in Europe.
There'll be a pelican around here somewhere.
What's in here? Goodness! What a thing.
Is it dangerous? Who, Sidney? No.
Stroke him if you like.
Came to us in a bit of a sorry old state, did Sidney.
Fur all matted and bits missing.
That's what life giving rides in a circus does for you.
George got him back to full health.
Hello, Sidney.
Oh! That's never happened before.
Never.
The fact you have a towel to hand, Mr Mottershead, would suggest otherwise.
That's not a new suit that, is it? No, no, it's my grandfather's.
I tell you what, if he'd have known it would end up here after all these years, in the line of fire .
.
he'd have chuckled.
Look, I'd best be going.
It's a quick sandwich for me in Upton, then back to Chester to file my copy.
But there's one more thing you have to see.
Come on.
Come on, come on.
Yeah.
Oh, look, that one doesn't want to fly.
There you go.
Look at that.
The way they fly! It's wonderful.
Afternoon.
What was it like today? You had a nice time? Well, I'll take you again tomorrow if you like? Don't worry.
I can go by myself.
Even so, I could do with the walk.
What happened to the journalist? Do you know what? For the first time, I think someone else could see the potential.
Better get some timber down, then.
"George Mottershead, by far Oakfield's most exotic attraction, "has assembled not so much a zoo "as a collection of vermin, pests and circus rejects.
"Residents hoping to prevent the zoo from opening may draw comfort "from the fact Mottershead seems hell bent on doing the job for them.
"The animals will mingle dangerously with their visitors.
"The historic Oakfield grounds now resemble a modern-day battlefield.
"Even his staff ".
.
currently members of his own family, seem far from convinced.
"As one highly respected resident put it "For the sake of the local community, "and in the interest of animals everywhere, "Oakfield Zoo should stay exactly as it is - closed.
" Has George seen this? Your local papers.
I want to buy them all.
But Mr Mottershead, I've just this second sold my very last one.
Get them all in? Eventually.
Owt else? I'm in enough trouble as it is.
Billy? Yeah? In case of emergencies.
Come on, good girl, come on.
Billy? And next on the agenda is the proposed zoo at Oakfield House in Upton.
I'd like to welcome the Reverend Aaron Webb, here on behalf of the Upton Parish Council.
I hear they came to your meeting, these Mottershead people.
Do go on.
Well, it was very good of them to come and join us.
Though I must confess I was a little taken aback by his manner.
Marching straight to the front, setting up his stall.
As if somehow we were lucky to have him there at all.
He implied he was some sort of zoological pioneer when obviously he hasn't thought any of it through.
It's a shame really, because it is a wonderful house.
He has the support of a wonderful woman, but the poor chap clearly doesn't have the first idea.
It's not malicious, don't get me wrong.
Just inept.
But no less dangerous for that.
And the residents agree? Mm.
And you took a vote? We didn't need to.
I understood there was a medical report due? Do you have that? Sorry I'm late.
No, come on, come and join us.
Question one.
What is the capital of Ceylon? The capital of Ceylon.
So, Dr Ford, how did you get on with your research? Not all going be struck down with Yellow Fever, I hope! Well, I spent yesterday with the Liverpool University's Professor of Tropical Diseases.
Oh.
Nice chap.
We went through what, I must say, was the very comprehensive list of diseases you gave me before the meeting the other day.
And, after careful consideration, the Professor and I took the very same view.
Our conclusion being we've nothing to fear.
Nothing? The Mottersheads are buying animals from the farthest corners of the globe.
Quite.
For any creature to survive that kind of trip, they need to be in pretty fine fettle.
The ones from Europe, well, they don't carry any diseases we don't already know about.
Rabies? Pretty much just dogs, and then there's a vaccine.
So that's it? That's your report? That's why I closed the file.
From the Mottersheads.
I'm afraid we'll have to leave it there.
It won't take long.
This is hardly the time.
It's exactly the time.
Miss Franklin! Go on, try it.
That's it, come on.
Come on, take a good look.
Mrs Pollard, don't be shy, we all like a good nose, don't we? Nowt wrong with that.
Specially round here, where it seems we've got nothing better to do than bring the new man down.
Look, seems like we haven't gotten off to the best of starts, does it? Look, I don't know any of you, but you seem like nice enough people, you do.
I'm sorry that our coming here has been so hard to take.
And I'm sorry about the van, the inconvenience Well, we'll get it out of your way as soon as we can.
But as for us - for me and my family - we're staying.
Now, you can say what you like, and you can write what you like, but we're going nowhere.
And nor's the zoo.
I've a lad up the farm who'll fix your engine.
Get it out the road.
Thank you.
Leave it, Billy, we'll get it later.
We can't.
They'll overheat.
Billy, they're heaters.
They won't overheat, not unless you plug them in.
Wait! What's in the van?! What have you done now, Billy? Are they dangerous? I don't think so.
Right, we'll walk 'em.
Come on, come on.
What now, Billy? That's it.
Come on, that's it.
Come on.
That's it.
Come on, then.
That's it.
Come on, boys.
Come on, then.
This way, take 'em down there, Billy, will you? Come on, boys.
Get 'em all.
There we go, that's it.
Come on, then.
Come on, then, boys! That's it! Here we go.
Archie! Archie, come back here now.
I'll go keep an eye on him.
Mrs Pollard? There we go, come on, then.
That's it, keep coming! Keep coming, keep coming.
Are we nearly there yet?! Come on then, this way! Question 13.
What is the capital of Newfoundland? Mrs Ford? Not now, Norman.
But Mrs Ford! Penguins! May we go too? Please! If, and only if, you can name an Empire country where penguins live.
New Zealand? Yes.
Yes! I'm glad I remembered that.
So am I.
Careful, careful.
There we go.
There we go, Billy.
Come on, chaps, just wait a second, just wait for your friends, shall we? Come on, that's it! Good boys! Good boys! Look at that one there.
That's it, good boy, oops! What a charming sight.
Though I would say, for those of you opposed to the zoo, it might not be in your best interests to be seen actually visiting the place.
Come on.
Looks good, the enclosure, he's done a grand job.
She hasn't been happy.
Well, she hasn't been well.
Do you think the villagers have won? Don't go throwing in the towel just yet.
Even if it has been wiped on a monkey's backside.
Keep 'em coming, come on, boys, come on, lads, come along.
Come on, love.
The more the merrier.
Come on, boys, come on, there you go, keep coming.
Nearly there now, not far.
Yeah, see? Come on.
Come on, boys.
That's it.
Keep coming, this way.
Dinner time, come on, lads.
Not long now, fellas.
They're never coming in here, surely.
Where on earth are we going to keep them?! Can you do us a group discount, please, Mrs Mottershead? Ladies and gentlemen, for one day only, we are very happy to say welcome to our zoo! Come on, then.
Come on, fellas.
If you'd be so kind, sir.
Here we go.
Come on then, in we go.
Whay! What is that? "That" is Mortimer.
My best friend.
Night, Sidney.
Night, you two.
'Chester Zoo has now officially appointed a new deputy zookeeper 'and Dad is delighted.
'He says she's more than up to the job.
' That Reverend wasn't too happy, was he? He was on his own there.
They've got a penguin pool just like ours in Vienna, apparently.
They don't, do they? No.
But if we say it enough times, people might just believe it.
'With our bears Adam and Eve back to full strength, 'we are closer than ever to opening the gates to the public.
'And when we do, 'we're confident our animals will make quite an impression.
' If he gets to Upton and hurts someone, then it's over.
A petition you mean? The whole village has signed it.
Shoot him! I've got to get to the bank.
We can't get any more money from the bank, George.
Let me help you.
You'll need more than my donation to finish this place, you know.
It would be the Chester set, Lady Goodwin's friends.
If we raised a decent amount, it'd make all the difference.
It says Selborne Hall? Katherine's very happy for us to use it.