Patrick Melrose (2018) s01e03 Episode Script
Some Hope
1 [DAVID.]
Can't sleep? No, me neither.
Must be all the excitement.
All these people.
Here Is that better? I'll leave you now.
But know one thing.
If you ever tell your mother or anyone else, about today I will snap you in two.
[BIRDSONG.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
- - [TICKING CONTINUES.]
[PILLS RATTLE.]
[KETTLE STARTS TO BOIL.]
[KETTLE CLICKS OFF.]
[MOTORCYCLE PASSING BY.]
[CRUNCHING.]
[TV THEME TUNE.]
[MALE PRESENTER ON TV.]
Hello, and welcome to Telethon Tuneup.
Now there's lots to tell you about in the program.
But right now I'm waiting for a bus.
In fact, this is the bus now.
I suppose it looks a fairly ordinary kind of bus to you, but believe you me, this bus is pretty special, because inside it's got fun and sun, for Telefun.
Not bad, eh? Here we go.
Hello.
One ticket, please, to the Telefun spots of Yorkshire-by-the-Sea.
Thank you.
Aha, a bargain.
[HEAVY ROCK MUSIC.]
[METALLIC CLANGING.]
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
[CHORAL MUSIC.]
Madam.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Bridget, darling, what's this in Dempster this morning? "200 guests, 10,000 acres, party of the year.
" Sounds like we're made of money! I told you not to talk to the press! I didn't talk to the press! "'I'm just having a few friends over to celebrate my husband's birthday, ' says Lady Gravesend.
Guests include Princess Margaret.
" Frankly, I wish I hadn't bothered.
It's so gray out there! If it was May or June, we could be out on the big lawn, but November One can't help when one's born.
No.
It's extremely aggravating.
I've asked Tony to come early to help brighten it up.
God.
That appalling man shouldn't be coming at all.
Jumped-up painter and decorator.
Just keep him away from Princess Margaret.
Little popinjay! What is a popinjay, I wonder? Darling, haven't you forgotten something? - Happy birthday! - [MAKES KISSING SOUND.]
- [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
- [MUTTERS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS CONTINUOUSLY.]
[PATRICK.]
Yes, hello? [NICHOLAS.]
Now, why haven't you replied to Bridget? You simply must come.
Open the door! [PATRICK SIGHS.]
Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get you invited in the first place? I'm very grateful, but I don't think I'm ready for the world just yet.
Why are these curtains drawn? [GRUNTS.]
There.
Better than a psychiatric ward, I suppose.
Theoretically.
I need a drink.
Do you have a drink, a proper drink? No, that's one of the reasons I was on the psychiatric ward.
- I can offer you herbal teas.
- Don't be absurd.
You know, you might at least open a window, or take a step outside once in a while.
And your mother, she's almost as reclusive as you are.
Amazing, isn't it? She thinks there might be more to life than going to parties.
[SCOFFS.]
Yes, I always thought she was a little peculiar.
- Where is she? - As far as I'm aware she's driving a consignment of 10,000 syringes to Poland.
Everyone says it's marvelous of her, but I still think charity begins at home.
I wish she'd bring them round here.
I thought you'd er put all that behind you.
Behind me, in front of me.
You're very melodramatic today.
Yes, well, I've realized I've given up everything - and taken up nothing.
- You've taken up the law.
You're going to "work for a living".
Yes, that's the intention.
In fact, it's a necessity now with the medical bills.
- But I still feel as if life - That's enough.
Sit down.
- I beg your pardon? - Sit down.
Offended as I am by the very idea of a "pep talk", I'm left with no choice.
You can't rot in this hovel.
Quite apart from how depressing it is, I owe it to your dear papa to get you back - into the swim of things.
- But the fear is, Nicholas, - that I might drown.
- Nonsense.
Pull yourself together, find something to wear, and if you must talk about life, you can do so at the party.
I'm sure someone will listen to you.
And remember, it's a party: you're not meant to enjoy it.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
Oh, God.
I know what you're thinking, not enough color.
That's why I've bought you these.
I thought tents, I thought poles, I thought ribbons, - I thought maypoles.
- They look like er Sonny's regimental tie.
I had them specially made.
- Wonderful.
How much? - Oh, 20 and the dreaded.
I see.
[CHUCKLES.]
What's the dreaded? - V.
A.
T.
- Goodness.
[FEMALE SCOTTISH ACCENT.]
You are a naughty, naughty girl! - Oh, dear.
- Running out here without I do wish Nanny wasn't quite so horrid to Belinda.
Why don't you just sack the old hag? She's terrifying.
Tony, just make it better, will you? Darling.
[SHE EXHALES.]
[NANNY.]
Where did you get this? Tell me! Where? - Did you steal it? - Nanny, I'm sure she didn't steal it.
One of the security men will have lost it.
Here.
I'll find out who it belongs to.
Mummy, will you come and play? Your mummy's much too busy to play with the likes of you! Maybe later, darling.
[CLICK, STATIC WHINES.]
Hello? Hello, can you hear me? Hello, I've got your walkie-talkie.
[WHINING AND CRACKLING.]
[SONNY.]
Of course I'll tell her.
But it can hardly be tonight after all the trouble she's gone to.
[WOMAN.]
But all this skulking around and lying.
- And at your party too.
- I know, I know, I know.
But let's not think about that now, my love.
The important thing is I get to see you in the flesh, even if it's just a glimpse.
[PHONE RINGS.]
[WOMAN.]
Who is that, d'you think? [MAN GROANS.]
- [YAWNS.]
- [MAN GROANS.]
- [PHONE RINGS.]
- Aren't you going to answer it? - Not this second.
- [CLICK AND BEEP.]
Bridget's party tonight, I need you to come as my guest.
- It's Patrick! Go and answer! - Debbie's going to be there.
Debbie, who I need to apologize to but I can't, not without taking drugs, which is the very thing I need to apologize for.
And Julia.
Julia will be there and her bloody husband.
- Hello? - Oh, hello, you are there.
Look, what do you think? Should I go? If you think you're up to it.
No, of course I'm not, but Nicholas Pratt's been round here practically marching me out of the door saying I need to get back in the swing of things.
Is he coming? Tell him he has to come! Sorry, are you with someone? I hate to agree with Nicholas Pratt, but perhaps he's right.
Well, look, can you help me? Can you come? Can you drive us? Yeah, of course, but I have to go to my meeting first.
What meeting? Oh, that meeting.
I don't know how you put up with those things.
Isn't it full of the most ghastly people? - Isn't any crowded room? - Yes! Yes, which is exactly why I mustn't go to this bloody party! It's three o'clock.
I'll see you there.
It's open to everyone, by the way.
[SIGHS.]
[JULIA.]
Patrick Melrose.
He'll be fun.
Have you told him about us? No, you told me not to.
Have you? I haven't seen Patrick for years.
What did he say about me? He said he's very much looking forward to meeting your husband.
- So am I.
- Christ, I hate parties.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[CHORAL MUSIC.]
Mm.
[INHALES.]
Okay.
- [CAB DRIVER.]
20 pounds.
- 20 pounds? That seems rather a lot.
My daughter said she'd erm Excuse me.
Sorry, what are you doing here? I'm sorry? Are you looking for the kitchens? No, no, erm I'm Mrs.
Watson-Scott.
Bridget's erm Lady Bridget's mother.
Oh.
Really? [CHUCKLES.]
Well, better follow me.
Come along.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CHEERFUL WHISTLING.]
[NANNY READING A STORY.]
- How's my favorite girl? - Daddy! [NANNY.]
What a lucky girl you are.
And on a busy day like this.
- [SONNY.]
What are we reading? - [BELINDA.]
This one.
But you've already read this.
Please, Dada, it's my favorite.
Hm.
Very well.
"For many generations, families of mice have made their homes in the roots and trunks of the trees of Brambly Hedge" Both parents in one day! We are honored.
We haven't time for this.
I need you to speak to security.
The Princess will be here soon.
You keep leaving these things lying around.
Right you are.
- Hello, Virginia.
- Hello, Sonny.
Happy birthday.
Granny! I didn't know you were coming! Here I am! Hello, Bridget, darling.
Everything alright? Absolutely perfect.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC.]
Okay, everyone, welcome.
My name's Harry.
If we can all start, please, with a moment of silence.
[CHATTER DIES DOWN.]
[WOMAN.]
I should really begin with the childhood stuff.
I mean, that's when it all starts, isn't it? But I don't want to go into all that so, fast-forward: I'm 16 years old and I go on this school trip.
I can't actually remember where it was, Belgium or France [MAN.]
but when I was using, I found it easy to cross the road because I genuinely didn't care if I was run over or not.
But now I'm in recovery I'm fucking terrified.
I walk for miles for a zebra crossing.
Just this morning I found myself chopping out lines of Colman's Mustard Powder.
Little neat lines.
I make tea, and I find myself worrying that I've put too much sugar on the spoon.
I watch TV and I start to think I'm controlling it.
I couldn't watch last night 'cause I was worried about putting the weatherman off by staring at him.
So Sometimes I think, "Fuck it, what's the point? Just start using again, What's to stop you?" Is saying this out loud meant to help somehow? Am I meant to feel better now? Anyway.
[EXHALES HEAVILY.]
- Thanks.
- [OTHERS.]
Thanks, Peter.
So, anybody else? Anyone who hasn't spoken yet? Yeah.
Hi.
I'm Johnny.
I'm an addict.
[OTHERS.]
Hi, Johnny! I'm going to a party tonight with a good friend, also in recovery, not in NA.
And I know there'll be lots of drugs around, alcohol too I'm going too! - Hi, Johnny! - Hi.
Anyway, it's a big party and I just feel [EXHALES.]
under threat, I suppose.
And I wanted to reaffirm my desire to stay clean today, and hopefully keep my friend clean too.
Okay.
Thanks.
- [OTHERS.]
Thanks, Johnny.
- [HARRY.]
Thanks, Johnny.
Now before we finish, it's newcomer time.
Newcomers only, please.
Anyone? Anyone? Okay, if you could all join me in the Serenity Prayer.
[GROUP.]
God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed.
Courage to change the things which should be changed [CIGARETTE LIGHTER CLICKS.]
[DOOR OPENS AND SQUEAKS.]
[WOMAN.]
I knew you were talking about Cheatley! Hey, but is it true that Patrick Melrose is coming? 'Cause I'm not sure it's good for people like us - to be around that negativ - And here he is! - Hello, Patrick! - Amanda.
Nice to see you out and about.
Amanda was just wondering if you were coming to the party.
- You know, I think I may.
- Great! I'll see you there! Might need you for an emergency meeting.
I'll feel safer knowing you're there.
Okay.
Bye.
Patrick.
She's not an addict, she just likes a bit of coke.
Amateur! Honestly, I don't know how you stand it.
The slogans, the fatuous jargon That's not a reason to hope they fail.
I don't hope they fail.
I just don't know how anybody can bear the hypocrisy.
They have a slogan for that too.
"Fake it to make it.
" Christ, it's worse than I thought.
- It's just a place to confess.
- Fine.
If you confess to things that matter and people never do.
Even so, if it helps to say these things out loud - But it's just so unnecessary! - Why? Don't you find it hard not to take drugs? Of course.
It's a fucking nightmare, being lucid.
My inner-life, Johnny, is an endless reel of decapitations and dogs fighting over the liver that I'd quite like back, thank you very much.
Oblivion would be wonderful, if I didn't have this horror of forgetting.
- Forgetting what? - Don't try and make me share.
Don't try to recruit me to your little cult.
There are things I haven't told anybody, and never will.
Including you.
Well, fine, then.
I won't ask.
I'd just like some Earl Grey tea.
Thank you very much! [LOW CONVERSATION.]
Mummy! Look what Granny got me! - Would you like one? - You mustn't give her sweets.
They're very bad for her teeth.
Nanny disapproves terribly.
Don't you, Nanny? Yes, I do.
What are we talking about? No! Absolutely no sweeties in the nursery! I'm not in the nursery anymore! And now she's over-excited! Perhaps she could just have one or two after dinner.
Ah, yes, now, the dinner.
Erm I meant to tell you, you're going out for supper with our neighbors, - the Bossington-Lanes.
- Oh.
It's just gonna be so stuffy and formal here with Princess Margaret.
Oh, you don't mind, do you? We just thought it'd be nicer, more relaxed, round their dinner table.
And then you can join us later for the big party, - you know, the exciting bit.
- No, no, that sounds very nice.
Erm Will you excuse me? I must just - [SIGHS.]
- You deserve an Oscar.
- I'm thinking of her too! - Of course.
Is Granny upset? What on earth makes you say that? She looked sad when she left.
That's just the way her face looks when it relaxes.
Well, must get on.
So much still to do! [DISTANT VOICES.]
[BIRDSONG OUTSIDE.]
[EXHALES.]
[TEASPOON CLATTERS.]
"Book early to avoid disappointment.
" Hm.
[TV ON.]
a man who's run six marathons, has run from John o' Groats to Land's End.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- Good evening.
- [CHANGES CHANNEL.]
But as night falls, so will those temperatures.
Nothing unusual for this time of year, and it's gonna be a dry night but with temperatures of one temperatures of erm - Tomorrow, we're looking at - [TV OFF.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[DAVID.]
Good God, what an appalling dump.
You see what I'm reduced to? Now: left or right? [DISCORDANT MUSIC.]
Don't mind.
I'm a very tired man.
Come and talk to me, Patrick.
Patrick.
Come and talk to your dear old dad.
Please.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Well, don't be long.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Patrick? Patrick, where are you? Patrick! [BREATHES HEAVILY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Johnny, can we get out of here, as soon as possible? [BRIDGET.]
Lines.
Gloves.
Now we'll let you know when it's time to come back.
- Yes.
- Not too early! - Righty-o! - Oh, don't say righty-o.
I'm sorry.
Must have got it from your father! - Do you have some money? - Yes, yes, I think so.
The taxi was a lot more expensive than I thought from the station.
Here comes the Princess! She's here! For goodness sake, I'll pay you back later.
Just go! Drive, drive! - Remember.
Don't fawn.
- Righty-o.
Oh, not you too.
- Bloody hell, Bridget.
- Only the best for Sonny.
[PATRICK SCOFFS.]
Stay close.
Don't go too far away, will you? I won't.
Hold your nerve.
It's gonna be fine.
So this old flame of yours, Bridget Gravesend, - she's bien née? - Oh, dear me, no.
Father was very used-car-salesman, mother pure Surrey Pines.
"Not quite from the top basket," as you say.
- [LOW CONVERSATIONS.]
- [PATRICK.]
All the old faces.
I wouldn't be surprised if my fucking father leapt out from behind one of these pillars.
- "Boo!" - Champagne, gentlemen? - No.
- No, thank you.
Years since I've talked to strangers without drugs.
Even when we did take drugs, all we ever saw was the inside of loos.
Yes.
Nowadays when I go to the loo, I say to myself, "What are you doing here? You don't take drugs anymore.
" It's only after I've stormed out that I remember I need a piss.
Oh, I suppose "the young" will be taking ecstasy this evening.
[JOHNNY.]
Ecstasy, the non-addictive high.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't really see the attraction of a non-addictive drug.
If it doesn't fuck you up, what's the point? Oh, Christ, I need a drink! - No, thank you.
- No, thank you.
Look, I feel a bit stupid, saying this to you, but if you did want to talk Oh, for fuck's sake, stop trying to recruit me.
- Purely as a friend.
- I'm sorry.
Patrick Melrose.
I kept hearing you'd died.
Only once or twice.
- Bridget, you look lovely.
- It's true, you do.
Oh.
Thank you, both of you.
Now, I've put you next to someone - who'll keep an eye on you.
- Oh.
My cousin, Mary.
[ANNOUNCER.]
Her Royal Highness, Princess Margaret.
Here she is! Oh.
Remember: don't sit down until P.
M.
sits down! - [LOW CONVERSATION.]
- Ma'am! Of course I love the countryside, but I do wish everything would stay still.
I'm so aesthetic.
I want to arrange the cows and then glue them to the spot.
[CHUCKLES.]
Tony, you are funny! What's he doing here, anyway? Bloody Rasputin! You're ridiculous, a ridiculous snob.
- Ma'am, if I could just - Oh.
Why? - Where am I sitting? - Next to the French Ambassador.
I think it was Marcel Proust who said that the number of guests at a dinner should be more than the Graces, but less than the Muses.
But this is absolutely extraordinary.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Shall we get started? [EXHALES.]
[PATRICK.]
Fuck.
[LOW CHATTER.]
My lady-in-waiting turned to to the taxi driver and said, "Take us to the Royal Garden Hotel.
" Which, as you know, is at the bottom of the drive.
And the taxi driver nodded at me and said, [COCKNEY ACCENT.]
"I know where she lives!" [SONNY LAUGHS.]
What a wonderful story! What wonderful people! Salt of the earth.
[PRINCESS MARGARET.]
One does like to travel - I saw you earlier.
- Hm? In reception.
We're staying at the same hotel.
Ah! Home of the famous Cotswold Carvery.
[CHUCKLES.]
"Book early to avoid disappointment.
" Yes, if only I'd known it was so easy.
[CHUCKLES.]
Would you rather be there than here? Almost anywhere.
Except if I wasn't here, this is the only place I'd want to be.
So how do you manage? - Hm? - To avoid disappointment? It's impossible.
Salvation crumbles the moment you touch it.
I mean, look at all these people.
Snobs, social climbers, museum pieces.
I must say, I'm not sure why I'm here either.
I think Bridget likes the family to know she's arrived.
I'm sure.
But arrived where? What is this? Venison? It's hard to tell in this murky sauce.
Yes, it is venison.
I'm awfully sorry about the sauce.
- It's perfectly disgusting.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Do you like it? It's venison.
Really, it is something absolutely marvelous.
And the sauce, it's so subtle.
[INHALES AND EXHALES.]
I didn't know one could find such cooking in this country Ma'am.
Oh, Ma'am.
- I'm sorry.
The sauce.
- Wipe.
- I beg your pardon? - I said wipe.
Yes.
Sure.
Excuse me.
[SOME GIGGLING.]
I thought I couldn't dislike the sauce more when it was on my plate.
The sauce has been a disaster, Ma'am, I'm so sorry.
There's no need for you to apologize.
- Look, another one.
- Jacques Jacqueline, I have done something unpardonable.
Ma'am, let me help you.
No.
He spilt it.
He should wipe it up! - Yes.
- In fact, one feels he could have had a great career in dry-cleaning if he hadn't been blown off course.
- [SNIGGERS.]
- Allez, Jacques, that's enough.
There's another spot there.
Wipe it up! C'est insupportable! What is "insupportable" is being showered with this revolting sauce! I needn't remind you that your husband is Ambassador to the Court of St.
James! [RETREATING FOOTSTEPS.]
[DOOR SLAMS.]
Silence.
I don't approve of silences! [SONNY CLEARS THROAT.]
I get fallow deer sent to me from Richmond Park.
You have to be on the list.
The Queen said to me, "Put yourself on the list.
" So I did.
[SONNY.]
How very sensible, Ma'am.
What I admire about Princess Margaret is the way she puts everyone at their ease.
Are you alright? [LOW CONVERSATIONS.]
Putain de merde! [CONTINUES IN FRENCH.]
Hello, little girl.
Who are you? I'm Belinda.
Is Princess Margaret in there? Remind me, Sonny, do you have any children? Yes, indeed, Ma'am.
A daughter, seven years old.
No male heir, then? Even so, I'm very fond of her.
Of course, in many ways I feel responsible.
It was I, after all, who introduced the humble Miss Watson-Scott, as she then was, to the beau monde at your dear father's house.
Who knew then she was destined to command - the heights of society? - Hm.
You're very lucky, you know, a reprobate like you, to be invited to this glittering occasion.
I'm eternally grateful.
- How are you managing? - Dying for a drink.
Well, this is quite delicious, you have my sympathy.
[CHUCKLES.]
I've never been a heroin addict but I did have to give up cigarettes, - which was quite hard enough.
- Oh, dear.
- Do you think someone - Will you excuse me a moment? Are you looking for someone? I wanted to meet Princess Margaret.
I see.
Well, I think you'd be better off without, believe me.
Why don't we ask your mother to come over? Oh, look.
There's a little person who can't sleep.
[SOME LAUGHTER.]
Who is that? I'm afraid it's my daughter, Ma'am.
- She should be in bed.
- Thank you, Patrick.
Darling, what are you doing up? This is a dinner for grown-ups.
- Which one's Princess Margaret? - Yes.
Why don't you get your mother to present you to her? Will you, Mummy? Please? Are you involved in politics? For my own part, I don't mind who's in government if they're good at governing.
What we must avoid at all costs is these windscreen wipers: left, right, left, right - Ma'am, I'd like to introduce - Not now.
She should be in bed.
She'll only get over-excited.
[SONNY.]
Quite right.
Honestly, darling, how did she escape? Go on.
[SONNY.]
Now, I really think it's about time we joined the others.
[PRINCESS MARGARET.]
Oh, must we? We've been having such a cozy time.
I do so hate big parties.
So do I.
It was all my wife's idea.
[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
Waaaaaah! Put the candles on the cake We're gonna celebrate We got another year We all here Put the candles on the cake [SONG CONTINUES.]
Sonny and I are so grateful to you.
Oh.
Anything for Sonny.
Try to avoid Bridget, though.
- She can be rather fierce.
- Of course.
If security asks, you're to pretend to be my wife.
How far am I meant to go with that? [LAUGHTER AND CHATTER.]
Oh, Patrick's here.
[LOW CONVERSATION.]
Oh, Christ.
Sir.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER.]
My dear, what a nice surprise! - George! - [LAUGHS.]
I'm sitting here because I can't hear anything otherwise.
I thought people were supposed to lead lives - of quiet desperation.
- Not quiet enough.
Now.
Have you found something that you enjoy doing? Yes, but sadly I've had to give that up.
Then you're guilty of the greatest sin of all.
- Am I? - Wasting time.
You must make a contribution.
No man is an island, though there are a surprising number here who own one.
And not just in Scotland.
Though, of course you're right.
My father once said to me: [AS DAVID.]
"If you have a talent, use it.
Or you'll be miserable all your life.
" It was just about the only non-hostile remark he ever made.
He was a very brilliant man, but he was never happy, I think.
Yes, well I hardly ever think of him these days.
He would've hated you to make the same mistakes, Patrick.
No more wasted time.
I I must go and find my Yes, yes, yes.
Go.
Go.
[LOW CONVERSATIONS.]
- Patrick.
- Debbie.
You look lovely.
But then you always did at parties.
I'm surprised you remember.
You were either upstairs in bed with someone else, or passed out in the loo.
Yes, that's actually something I wanted to talk to you about.
I don't think I was terribly nice to you and I I know this one.
This is a 12-step thing, isn't it? I'm part of your "moral inventory".
- No, I just - Will you excuse me? David, Cindy! Cindy.
You made it! - Happy birthday, darling.
- [LAUGHS.]
Sonny, are you sure this is all above board? Bridget just gave me the most terrible scowling look.
Just stick to the story.
You met Cindy, your wife couldn't come, asked her instead, didn't check.
It's nothing to do with me.
Right.
So, erm I met Cindy, wife couldn't come, asked Cindy instead - Hello, you.
- Happy birthday, darling.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
- So glad you're here.
It's the best birthday present What I find with beautiful women is that after one's waited around for ages, they all arrive at once, like buses are supposed to do.
Not that I've ever waited around for a bus.
Look at Princess Margaret.
One has to be careful not to trip over her.
That was quite a scene.
Mm.
Yes, I do admire P.
M.
She has something of your father's joie-de-vivre.
- Imagine if they'd met! - Imagine.
The way she used a minor accident to screw maximum humiliation out of the Ambassador.
Of course I'm absolutely devoted to his wife, who, behind that phoney chic, is a genuinely malicious person.
- And here they are! - Will you excuse me? I must go and talk to our hostess.
I hope we didn't drive away your young friend.
- He seemed very nervous.
- Oh, we can get on without him.
Mon cher Jacques, I thought you were absolutely brilliant, the way you handled that tiresome woman.
Thank you, but I feel the royal presence bearing down on us.
Maybe we could explore the depths of the party.
My dear fellow, you are the depths of the party.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Au revoir! A tout à l'heure.
Consorting with the enemy? They came to me for sympathy, Ma'am.
I told them they'd come to the wrong place! He's a clumsy fool, and as to his absurd wife Hello, there! Isn't this a lovely party? Ma'am.
I'll come and find you later, alright? Oh.
Yes.
- Who was that? - My daughter.
Now, where was I? I've quite lost my flow The main thing I remember, apart from your poisonous father, was that beautiful house.
Nothing compared to all of this.
Ohhh! Yes, it's funny how things turn out.
It's all lovely, I just wish it wasn't full of such awful shits.
Not you, of course.
Or Mummy.
- [SHE SIGHS.]
- You seemed incredibly cool to me, unlike my parents' usual crowd.
And kinder too.
Kind? You're sure you're not confusing me with someone else? You wouldn't be an angel and talk to her for a second? - Mummy? Mummy? - Oh.
This is my old friend Patrick Melrose.
- Oh, yes, I remember.
- So.
Quite a party! [BUZZ OF CHATTER.]
Bridget! Lovely party! I just wanted to clarify: I met Cindy, my wife couldn't come, so [SONNY.]
starts to show.
May I touch it? [CINDY.]
Oh, Sonny.
There's nothing to touch.
Not for weeks yet.
[CHORAL MUSIC.]
- What is it, darling? - Oh, er Oh I just saw Cindy Smith with Sonny.
I said we shouldn't invite her 'cause we didn't know her and now she's here.
- Oh, I'm just being paranoid.
- Yes, yes.
Probably.
- Um - Probably paranoid? Is there somewhere we can go? [LOVE IS ALL AROUND.]
I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes [SAXOPHONE SOLO.]
[BAND LEADER.]
Joe Wagner on the saxophone.
Patrick Melrose, why aren't you drinking? - Happy birthday, Sonny! - Don Wills on the trombone! You know, I frightfully dislike this bit.
What makes you think we wanna know their names? - Saw you talking to Bridget - Chilly Willy Watson on cornet.
- She looked awfully stormy.
- [CORNET SOLO.]
Sonny, may I steal Patrick for a moment? - Chilly Willy Watson! - You alright? Yes, sorry, I I just thought I Let's go here.
I thought I'd save you from our host.
Oh! There's an air of palpable stupidity that comes off that man, like opening the door to a sauna.
- [CINDY.]
It makes sense.
- [SONNY.]
No.
- No, I can't tell her tonight.
- You can tell her I'm My God, look at them all.
I remember these people from my childhood.
Hard and dull.
- They're the last Marxists.
- Hm? The last people to believe class is a total explanation.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
What are you two muttering about? Hello, stranger.
Oh, Christ.
Johnny, Patrick, this is my husband.
- This is Angus.
- Quite a party.
Must have cost a pretty penny, eh? [LAUGHS.]
My husband is obsessed with how much everything costs.
Why don't you get me a drink? They're free.
- Johnny will help you.
- Actually, - Johnny and I were just about to - [ANGUS.]
Come on! - Come on, then.
[LAUGHS.]
- [JOHNNY MUTTERS.]
He looked so good on paper but he's completely obsessed with whether a cheap-day return is refundable if you don't use the second half.
[CHUCKLES.]
Shall we go exploring? It's very good to see you again.
I thought perhaps you'd been avoiding me.
- As a bad influence.
- Not you.
The world.
Well You're here now.
Perhaps we can liven up this dreary party.
You certainly have to kick a lot of bodies to find a live one.
Tony's got some charlie.
I suppose that's against the rules now.
- Is it? - I think technically, yes.
Christ, why are you all so dull? Men used to talk to me about how they used butter for sex.
Now they tell me how they've eliminated it from their diet.
Look, there's Debbie.
Doesn't she look beautiful? [PATRICK.]
Very.
I suppose I'd better go and find Johnny.
- We could always go upstairs.
- Upstairs.
What for? For sex.
No strings.
Well, I suppose it's something to do.
- Thank you.
- No, no, I'm very keen.
- Well, come on, then, let's go.
- [CHEERING.]
- I'm sorry, ma'am, the house - We're staying here.
- [ROPE IS UNCLASPED.]
- Thank you! I can't help thinking this is a terrible idea.
- [BRIDGET ARGUING.]
- Sssh! Listen! [BRIDGET.]
humiliating that is! [SONNY.]
Please talk about this in the morning.
[BRIDGET.]
We will talk about it now! [SONNY.]
Our guests are beginning to wonder where we [BRIDGET.]
I don't care about your fucking guests! Tell me, is it the first time You must have heard.
- About the affair? - Oh, it gets better.
Cindy's pregnant with a precious boy-child.
Sonny's so desperate for a male heir he's going to make Cindy - next Countess of Gravesend.
- Poor Bridget.
Like some tin-pot Henry VIII.
- Honestly, you have to laugh.
- Well, you don't have to laugh.
Oh, don't be so pious.
Serves her right.
- What for? - You know what for.
All that climbing.
No wonder she looks so tired.
You know, I have my reservations about your character.
- Me too.
Quick.
Let's go.
- Did you fuck her here? No! Yes, yes, alright, but not in our bedroom! [JULIA.]
Ooh! - [GLASS BREAKS.]
- [JULIA GIGGLES.]
[MOANING.]
[PANTING AND MOANING.]
Guess who I'm having an affair with? Do we have to talk about this now? Your friend Johnny.
[PANTING.]
That's completely put me off.
I thought you might want to steal me back.
Johnny's perfectly nice but that's the problem.
I was so pleased when I found out you were coming tonight.
Patrick Melrose.
It took me by surprise.
- The fact is, I've missed you.
- Me Me too.
But I think I think I'd prefer to remain friends with Johnny.
Really? I just don't want any more irony and tension.
But you love irony and tension! I think you imagine everyone else is just like you.
Fuck off, Patrick.
Alright, I think we'd better go down, don't you? Before we have a row.
- You go first.
- God, you're a pain.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
Oh, God.
[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY.]
I broke a glass.
Don't tell my father.
[ANNE.]
What about your mother? Do you wanna tell your mother? [ELEANOR.]
Patrick what is it, love? [MARIANNE.]
What would you have said to him? [SHATTERS.]
[DEEE-LITE "POWER OF LOVE".]
I was looking for you.
Where have you been? Nowhere.
I wonder, can we find somewhere to talk? - Yeah.
- Sorry.
I told you there's something I've never said out loud and never would.
And now I'm going to.
Forgive my inarticulacy, it's not that I'm embarrassed, it's just I don't want it to be a burden for you.
- Just go ahead.
- [INHALES.]
So.
I've told you about my parents' drunkenness and the violence, but what I was skirting around - Not now.
- No, thank you.
Just to let you know the fireworks - will start in a few minutes.
- Thank you.
When I was eight, and for some years afterwards my father "abused" me as we're invited to call it these days.
What do you mean, "abused"? I [EXHALES.]
It was Oh, God Nobody should do that to anybody else.
- The first time - The fireworks are about Do you think you could leave us alone for one fucking minute - so we can have a conversation? - I'm sorry, sir.
Do we look like children? Do we look like we're interested in the fucking fireworks? [SNIFFS.]
What do I mean by abused? I mean sexually abused.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
No wonder you hated him so much.
Well, now you know.
The first incident masqueraded as a punishment, though I never knew the crime which gave it a certain Kafkaesque charm.
.
What a bastard.
It must have split the world in half.
Yes, I think that is what happened.
What makes you think that? It just seemed obvious.
In that moment, when it was happening, this will sound strange, but there was a lizard on the wall.
A gecko, bright green.
I thought, "If I can somehow put myself inside then I might be able to get through this.
" Not much of an escape plan, I know.
Ahhh [SNIFFS.]
The point is now I'm exhausted hating him.
It's not enough.
And if I'm going to break out into the world not just this, but the real world, to learn something, make a contribution, live rather than just survive, then I am going to have to say these things out loud.
- [FIREWORKS POP AND WHISTLE.]
- [CHEERING.]
[COUGHS.]
We are missing the fireworks, if you want to It's alright.
I wondered whether perhaps you'd like your old room back? Oh, Mummy, I don't know.
Can we just talk about it when we get there? - Whatever makes you happy.
- [SIGHS HEAVILY.]
I've treated you dreadfully sometimes.
- Snobbishly.
- Oh, no.
Only sometimes.
Your father always blamed that Nicholas Pratt man.
You were such a nice girl until you met him, and then you started criticizing everything at home, people you'd known all your life.
Perfectly nice people.
Your father always loved you, but I can't pretend he wasn't hurt sometimes.
[FIREWORKS WHISTLE AND POP IN DISTANCE.]
- Have I said too much? - No! Not at all.
Let's have a nice long talk tomorrow.
We should probably get going.
We've a long way to go.
Yes.
- I'm not recruiting, I swear.
- Go on.
Perhaps the only way to move on is to become more detached from yourself and more attached to something else.
- A hobby, you mean? - [LAUGHS.]
Someone else.
- Fall in love, have kids.
- Hm.
Yeah.
Why not? I tried falling in love, many times, as you know.
Not sure that was love.
Even so, my experience of love: you get excited thinking someone can mend your broken heart, disappointed when you realize they can't.
- [FIREWORKS CONTINUE POPPING.]
- But the next time.
Hm.
Of course, the other danger is, without bitterness, spite, sarcasm, snobbery and self-loathing, - there might be nothing left.
- Perhaps.
Or think what you could put there instead.
[FIREWORKS EXPLODING.]
Ah, here's our hostess! I wanted to find Sonny.
I really couldn't care less, Ma'am.
- [CHEERING.]
- I've been a bloody fool.
[NICHOLAS.]
Well, I can't say I disagree.
I was driven to it! Bridget's not having a son has been frightfully hard.
I'm just not sure I like the idea of life without her.
And Cindy has got some very peculiar ideas.
She's already suggested I knock a wall through.
And she looks at the furniture like a bloody auctioneer.
Isn't that Bridget now? - Bridget! Bridget! - [ENGINE STARTS.]
Bridget, where are you going? Bridget! Stop the car! Stop! [CHORAL MUSIC.]
[PATRICK.]
Oh, I'm sure my father was intensely unhappy, but to forgive someone, doesn't there have to be some attempt to change? But if he'd changed, he wouldn't need forgiveness.
Excuse me? Hello? Erm I'm sorry if I snapped at you earlier.
It's just I was in the middle of saying something rather tricky.
I was only doing my job.
I know you were and I apologize.
So do you think there's any way to forgive him? Of course.
It really wasn't that bad.
No, not you! [BOTH SNIGGER.]
Well, if the waiter can forgive me You go ahead.
I don't think I could get to sleep just yet.
And the thought of that hotel room.
Oof.
Well, thanks for telling me.
No need to get Californian about it.
No need to be so English.
- It's the end of the party.
- It's more than that.
It's the end of an era.
Well, let's hope so.
Can I help you? I knew a Chilly Willy in New York.
- You're not - Where'd he live? - Tenth Avenue.
- What did he do? He sold He lived on the streets.
It's impossible, I know.
I The coat.
The English guy who wouldn't take his coat off, right? Patrick Melrose.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Christ! You look well.
Er I I didn't ever know I was always a musician, man.
I just er you know? Your wife once sold me a horse syringe for 20 dollars.
- It was like this.
- Yeah, she OD'd.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Still, it's a miracle you're alive.
- You too.
- [CHUCKLES.]
But then everything's a miracle, man.
It's a miracle we don't melt in the bath like a piece of soap.
[GRAVEL CRUNCHES.]
- Nice to meet you.
- You too.
Erm See you at breakfast, perhaps? Yes.
Why not? - The Cotswold Carvery? - Hm.
Around nine.
Avoid disappointment.
[CHUCKLES.]
[BIRDS CHIRRUPING.]
[CIGARETTE LIGHTER CLICKS.]
[EXHALES.]
[SPLASH.]
[DEEE-LITE "POWER OF LOVE".]
I believe in the power of love I believe I believe in the power of love I believe I believe in the power of love I believe in the power of love Feel the power Let the people call me naive I believe
Can't sleep? No, me neither.
Must be all the excitement.
All these people.
Here Is that better? I'll leave you now.
But know one thing.
If you ever tell your mother or anyone else, about today I will snap you in two.
[BIRDSONG.]
[CLOCK TICKING.]
- - [TICKING CONTINUES.]
[PILLS RATTLE.]
[KETTLE STARTS TO BOIL.]
[KETTLE CLICKS OFF.]
[MOTORCYCLE PASSING BY.]
[CRUNCHING.]
[TV THEME TUNE.]
[MALE PRESENTER ON TV.]
Hello, and welcome to Telethon Tuneup.
Now there's lots to tell you about in the program.
But right now I'm waiting for a bus.
In fact, this is the bus now.
I suppose it looks a fairly ordinary kind of bus to you, but believe you me, this bus is pretty special, because inside it's got fun and sun, for Telefun.
Not bad, eh? Here we go.
Hello.
One ticket, please, to the Telefun spots of Yorkshire-by-the-Sea.
Thank you.
Aha, a bargain.
[HEAVY ROCK MUSIC.]
[METALLIC CLANGING.]
[OVERLAPPING CHATTER.]
[CHORAL MUSIC.]
Madam.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Bridget, darling, what's this in Dempster this morning? "200 guests, 10,000 acres, party of the year.
" Sounds like we're made of money! I told you not to talk to the press! I didn't talk to the press! "'I'm just having a few friends over to celebrate my husband's birthday, ' says Lady Gravesend.
Guests include Princess Margaret.
" Frankly, I wish I hadn't bothered.
It's so gray out there! If it was May or June, we could be out on the big lawn, but November One can't help when one's born.
No.
It's extremely aggravating.
I've asked Tony to come early to help brighten it up.
God.
That appalling man shouldn't be coming at all.
Jumped-up painter and decorator.
Just keep him away from Princess Margaret.
Little popinjay! What is a popinjay, I wonder? Darling, haven't you forgotten something? - Happy birthday! - [MAKES KISSING SOUND.]
- [KEYPAD BEEPS.]
- [MUTTERS.]
[DOORBELL RINGS CONTINUOUSLY.]
[PATRICK.]
Yes, hello? [NICHOLAS.]
Now, why haven't you replied to Bridget? You simply must come.
Open the door! [PATRICK SIGHS.]
Do you have any idea how difficult it was to get you invited in the first place? I'm very grateful, but I don't think I'm ready for the world just yet.
Why are these curtains drawn? [GRUNTS.]
There.
Better than a psychiatric ward, I suppose.
Theoretically.
I need a drink.
Do you have a drink, a proper drink? No, that's one of the reasons I was on the psychiatric ward.
- I can offer you herbal teas.
- Don't be absurd.
You know, you might at least open a window, or take a step outside once in a while.
And your mother, she's almost as reclusive as you are.
Amazing, isn't it? She thinks there might be more to life than going to parties.
[SCOFFS.]
Yes, I always thought she was a little peculiar.
- Where is she? - As far as I'm aware she's driving a consignment of 10,000 syringes to Poland.
Everyone says it's marvelous of her, but I still think charity begins at home.
I wish she'd bring them round here.
I thought you'd er put all that behind you.
Behind me, in front of me.
You're very melodramatic today.
Yes, well, I've realized I've given up everything - and taken up nothing.
- You've taken up the law.
You're going to "work for a living".
Yes, that's the intention.
In fact, it's a necessity now with the medical bills.
- But I still feel as if life - That's enough.
Sit down.
- I beg your pardon? - Sit down.
Offended as I am by the very idea of a "pep talk", I'm left with no choice.
You can't rot in this hovel.
Quite apart from how depressing it is, I owe it to your dear papa to get you back - into the swim of things.
- But the fear is, Nicholas, - that I might drown.
- Nonsense.
Pull yourself together, find something to wear, and if you must talk about life, you can do so at the party.
I'm sure someone will listen to you.
And remember, it's a party: you're not meant to enjoy it.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
Oh, God.
I know what you're thinking, not enough color.
That's why I've bought you these.
I thought tents, I thought poles, I thought ribbons, - I thought maypoles.
- They look like er Sonny's regimental tie.
I had them specially made.
- Wonderful.
How much? - Oh, 20 and the dreaded.
I see.
[CHUCKLES.]
What's the dreaded? - V.
A.
T.
- Goodness.
[FEMALE SCOTTISH ACCENT.]
You are a naughty, naughty girl! - Oh, dear.
- Running out here without I do wish Nanny wasn't quite so horrid to Belinda.
Why don't you just sack the old hag? She's terrifying.
Tony, just make it better, will you? Darling.
[SHE EXHALES.]
[NANNY.]
Where did you get this? Tell me! Where? - Did you steal it? - Nanny, I'm sure she didn't steal it.
One of the security men will have lost it.
Here.
I'll find out who it belongs to.
Mummy, will you come and play? Your mummy's much too busy to play with the likes of you! Maybe later, darling.
[CLICK, STATIC WHINES.]
Hello? Hello, can you hear me? Hello, I've got your walkie-talkie.
[WHINING AND CRACKLING.]
[SONNY.]
Of course I'll tell her.
But it can hardly be tonight after all the trouble she's gone to.
[WOMAN.]
But all this skulking around and lying.
- And at your party too.
- I know, I know, I know.
But let's not think about that now, my love.
The important thing is I get to see you in the flesh, even if it's just a glimpse.
[PHONE RINGS.]
[WOMAN.]
Who is that, d'you think? [MAN GROANS.]
- [YAWNS.]
- [MAN GROANS.]
- [PHONE RINGS.]
- Aren't you going to answer it? - Not this second.
- [CLICK AND BEEP.]
Bridget's party tonight, I need you to come as my guest.
- It's Patrick! Go and answer! - Debbie's going to be there.
Debbie, who I need to apologize to but I can't, not without taking drugs, which is the very thing I need to apologize for.
And Julia.
Julia will be there and her bloody husband.
- Hello? - Oh, hello, you are there.
Look, what do you think? Should I go? If you think you're up to it.
No, of course I'm not, but Nicholas Pratt's been round here practically marching me out of the door saying I need to get back in the swing of things.
Is he coming? Tell him he has to come! Sorry, are you with someone? I hate to agree with Nicholas Pratt, but perhaps he's right.
Well, look, can you help me? Can you come? Can you drive us? Yeah, of course, but I have to go to my meeting first.
What meeting? Oh, that meeting.
I don't know how you put up with those things.
Isn't it full of the most ghastly people? - Isn't any crowded room? - Yes! Yes, which is exactly why I mustn't go to this bloody party! It's three o'clock.
I'll see you there.
It's open to everyone, by the way.
[SIGHS.]
[JULIA.]
Patrick Melrose.
He'll be fun.
Have you told him about us? No, you told me not to.
Have you? I haven't seen Patrick for years.
What did he say about me? He said he's very much looking forward to meeting your husband.
- So am I.
- Christ, I hate parties.
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[CHORAL MUSIC.]
Mm.
[INHALES.]
Okay.
- [CAB DRIVER.]
20 pounds.
- 20 pounds? That seems rather a lot.
My daughter said she'd erm Excuse me.
Sorry, what are you doing here? I'm sorry? Are you looking for the kitchens? No, no, erm I'm Mrs.
Watson-Scott.
Bridget's erm Lady Bridget's mother.
Oh.
Really? [CHUCKLES.]
Well, better follow me.
Come along.
Thank you.
Thank you.
[SIGHS.]
[DOOR CLOSES.]
[CHEERFUL WHISTLING.]
[NANNY READING A STORY.]
- How's my favorite girl? - Daddy! [NANNY.]
What a lucky girl you are.
And on a busy day like this.
- [SONNY.]
What are we reading? - [BELINDA.]
This one.
But you've already read this.
Please, Dada, it's my favorite.
Hm.
Very well.
"For many generations, families of mice have made their homes in the roots and trunks of the trees of Brambly Hedge" Both parents in one day! We are honored.
We haven't time for this.
I need you to speak to security.
The Princess will be here soon.
You keep leaving these things lying around.
Right you are.
- Hello, Virginia.
- Hello, Sonny.
Happy birthday.
Granny! I didn't know you were coming! Here I am! Hello, Bridget, darling.
Everything alright? Absolutely perfect.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC.]
Okay, everyone, welcome.
My name's Harry.
If we can all start, please, with a moment of silence.
[CHATTER DIES DOWN.]
[WOMAN.]
I should really begin with the childhood stuff.
I mean, that's when it all starts, isn't it? But I don't want to go into all that so, fast-forward: I'm 16 years old and I go on this school trip.
I can't actually remember where it was, Belgium or France [MAN.]
but when I was using, I found it easy to cross the road because I genuinely didn't care if I was run over or not.
But now I'm in recovery I'm fucking terrified.
I walk for miles for a zebra crossing.
Just this morning I found myself chopping out lines of Colman's Mustard Powder.
Little neat lines.
I make tea, and I find myself worrying that I've put too much sugar on the spoon.
I watch TV and I start to think I'm controlling it.
I couldn't watch last night 'cause I was worried about putting the weatherman off by staring at him.
So Sometimes I think, "Fuck it, what's the point? Just start using again, What's to stop you?" Is saying this out loud meant to help somehow? Am I meant to feel better now? Anyway.
[EXHALES HEAVILY.]
- Thanks.
- [OTHERS.]
Thanks, Peter.
So, anybody else? Anyone who hasn't spoken yet? Yeah.
Hi.
I'm Johnny.
I'm an addict.
[OTHERS.]
Hi, Johnny! I'm going to a party tonight with a good friend, also in recovery, not in NA.
And I know there'll be lots of drugs around, alcohol too I'm going too! - Hi, Johnny! - Hi.
Anyway, it's a big party and I just feel [EXHALES.]
under threat, I suppose.
And I wanted to reaffirm my desire to stay clean today, and hopefully keep my friend clean too.
Okay.
Thanks.
- [OTHERS.]
Thanks, Johnny.
- [HARRY.]
Thanks, Johnny.
Now before we finish, it's newcomer time.
Newcomers only, please.
Anyone? Anyone? Okay, if you could all join me in the Serenity Prayer.
[GROUP.]
God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed.
Courage to change the things which should be changed [CIGARETTE LIGHTER CLICKS.]
[DOOR OPENS AND SQUEAKS.]
[WOMAN.]
I knew you were talking about Cheatley! Hey, but is it true that Patrick Melrose is coming? 'Cause I'm not sure it's good for people like us - to be around that negativ - And here he is! - Hello, Patrick! - Amanda.
Nice to see you out and about.
Amanda was just wondering if you were coming to the party.
- You know, I think I may.
- Great! I'll see you there! Might need you for an emergency meeting.
I'll feel safer knowing you're there.
Okay.
Bye.
Patrick.
She's not an addict, she just likes a bit of coke.
Amateur! Honestly, I don't know how you stand it.
The slogans, the fatuous jargon That's not a reason to hope they fail.
I don't hope they fail.
I just don't know how anybody can bear the hypocrisy.
They have a slogan for that too.
"Fake it to make it.
" Christ, it's worse than I thought.
- It's just a place to confess.
- Fine.
If you confess to things that matter and people never do.
Even so, if it helps to say these things out loud - But it's just so unnecessary! - Why? Don't you find it hard not to take drugs? Of course.
It's a fucking nightmare, being lucid.
My inner-life, Johnny, is an endless reel of decapitations and dogs fighting over the liver that I'd quite like back, thank you very much.
Oblivion would be wonderful, if I didn't have this horror of forgetting.
- Forgetting what? - Don't try and make me share.
Don't try to recruit me to your little cult.
There are things I haven't told anybody, and never will.
Including you.
Well, fine, then.
I won't ask.
I'd just like some Earl Grey tea.
Thank you very much! [LOW CONVERSATION.]
Mummy! Look what Granny got me! - Would you like one? - You mustn't give her sweets.
They're very bad for her teeth.
Nanny disapproves terribly.
Don't you, Nanny? Yes, I do.
What are we talking about? No! Absolutely no sweeties in the nursery! I'm not in the nursery anymore! And now she's over-excited! Perhaps she could just have one or two after dinner.
Ah, yes, now, the dinner.
Erm I meant to tell you, you're going out for supper with our neighbors, - the Bossington-Lanes.
- Oh.
It's just gonna be so stuffy and formal here with Princess Margaret.
Oh, you don't mind, do you? We just thought it'd be nicer, more relaxed, round their dinner table.
And then you can join us later for the big party, - you know, the exciting bit.
- No, no, that sounds very nice.
Erm Will you excuse me? I must just - [SIGHS.]
- You deserve an Oscar.
- I'm thinking of her too! - Of course.
Is Granny upset? What on earth makes you say that? She looked sad when she left.
That's just the way her face looks when it relaxes.
Well, must get on.
So much still to do! [DISTANT VOICES.]
[BIRDSONG OUTSIDE.]
[EXHALES.]
[TEASPOON CLATTERS.]
"Book early to avoid disappointment.
" Hm.
[TV ON.]
a man who's run six marathons, has run from John o' Groats to Land's End.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
- Good evening.
- [CHANGES CHANNEL.]
But as night falls, so will those temperatures.
Nothing unusual for this time of year, and it's gonna be a dry night but with temperatures of one temperatures of erm - Tomorrow, we're looking at - [TV OFF.]
[INHALES SHARPLY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
[DAVID.]
Good God, what an appalling dump.
You see what I'm reduced to? Now: left or right? [DISCORDANT MUSIC.]
Don't mind.
I'm a very tired man.
Come and talk to me, Patrick.
Patrick.
Come and talk to your dear old dad.
Please.
I'm going to the bathroom.
Well, don't be long.
[DOOR CREAKS.]
Patrick? Patrick, where are you? Patrick! [BREATHES HEAVILY.]
[EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Johnny, can we get out of here, as soon as possible? [BRIDGET.]
Lines.
Gloves.
Now we'll let you know when it's time to come back.
- Yes.
- Not too early! - Righty-o! - Oh, don't say righty-o.
I'm sorry.
Must have got it from your father! - Do you have some money? - Yes, yes, I think so.
The taxi was a lot more expensive than I thought from the station.
Here comes the Princess! She's here! For goodness sake, I'll pay you back later.
Just go! Drive, drive! - Remember.
Don't fawn.
- Righty-o.
Oh, not you too.
- Bloody hell, Bridget.
- Only the best for Sonny.
[PATRICK SCOFFS.]
Stay close.
Don't go too far away, will you? I won't.
Hold your nerve.
It's gonna be fine.
So this old flame of yours, Bridget Gravesend, - she's bien née? - Oh, dear me, no.
Father was very used-car-salesman, mother pure Surrey Pines.
"Not quite from the top basket," as you say.
- [LOW CONVERSATIONS.]
- [PATRICK.]
All the old faces.
I wouldn't be surprised if my fucking father leapt out from behind one of these pillars.
- "Boo!" - Champagne, gentlemen? - No.
- No, thank you.
Years since I've talked to strangers without drugs.
Even when we did take drugs, all we ever saw was the inside of loos.
Yes.
Nowadays when I go to the loo, I say to myself, "What are you doing here? You don't take drugs anymore.
" It's only after I've stormed out that I remember I need a piss.
Oh, I suppose "the young" will be taking ecstasy this evening.
[JOHNNY.]
Ecstasy, the non-addictive high.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't really see the attraction of a non-addictive drug.
If it doesn't fuck you up, what's the point? Oh, Christ, I need a drink! - No, thank you.
- No, thank you.
Look, I feel a bit stupid, saying this to you, but if you did want to talk Oh, for fuck's sake, stop trying to recruit me.
- Purely as a friend.
- I'm sorry.
Patrick Melrose.
I kept hearing you'd died.
Only once or twice.
- Bridget, you look lovely.
- It's true, you do.
Oh.
Thank you, both of you.
Now, I've put you next to someone - who'll keep an eye on you.
- Oh.
My cousin, Mary.
[ANNOUNCER.]
Her Royal Highness, Princess Margaret.
Here she is! Oh.
Remember: don't sit down until P.
M.
sits down! - [LOW CONVERSATION.]
- Ma'am! Of course I love the countryside, but I do wish everything would stay still.
I'm so aesthetic.
I want to arrange the cows and then glue them to the spot.
[CHUCKLES.]
Tony, you are funny! What's he doing here, anyway? Bloody Rasputin! You're ridiculous, a ridiculous snob.
- Ma'am, if I could just - Oh.
Why? - Where am I sitting? - Next to the French Ambassador.
I think it was Marcel Proust who said that the number of guests at a dinner should be more than the Graces, but less than the Muses.
But this is absolutely extraordinary.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Shall we get started? [EXHALES.]
[PATRICK.]
Fuck.
[LOW CHATTER.]
My lady-in-waiting turned to to the taxi driver and said, "Take us to the Royal Garden Hotel.
" Which, as you know, is at the bottom of the drive.
And the taxi driver nodded at me and said, [COCKNEY ACCENT.]
"I know where she lives!" [SONNY LAUGHS.]
What a wonderful story! What wonderful people! Salt of the earth.
[PRINCESS MARGARET.]
One does like to travel - I saw you earlier.
- Hm? In reception.
We're staying at the same hotel.
Ah! Home of the famous Cotswold Carvery.
[CHUCKLES.]
"Book early to avoid disappointment.
" Yes, if only I'd known it was so easy.
[CHUCKLES.]
Would you rather be there than here? Almost anywhere.
Except if I wasn't here, this is the only place I'd want to be.
So how do you manage? - Hm? - To avoid disappointment? It's impossible.
Salvation crumbles the moment you touch it.
I mean, look at all these people.
Snobs, social climbers, museum pieces.
I must say, I'm not sure why I'm here either.
I think Bridget likes the family to know she's arrived.
I'm sure.
But arrived where? What is this? Venison? It's hard to tell in this murky sauce.
Yes, it is venison.
I'm awfully sorry about the sauce.
- It's perfectly disgusting.
- [CHUCKLES.]
Do you like it? It's venison.
Really, it is something absolutely marvelous.
And the sauce, it's so subtle.
[INHALES AND EXHALES.]
I didn't know one could find such cooking in this country Ma'am.
Oh, Ma'am.
- I'm sorry.
The sauce.
- Wipe.
- I beg your pardon? - I said wipe.
Yes.
Sure.
Excuse me.
[SOME GIGGLING.]
I thought I couldn't dislike the sauce more when it was on my plate.
The sauce has been a disaster, Ma'am, I'm so sorry.
There's no need for you to apologize.
- Look, another one.
- Jacques Jacqueline, I have done something unpardonable.
Ma'am, let me help you.
No.
He spilt it.
He should wipe it up! - Yes.
- In fact, one feels he could have had a great career in dry-cleaning if he hadn't been blown off course.
- [SNIGGERS.]
- Allez, Jacques, that's enough.
There's another spot there.
Wipe it up! C'est insupportable! What is "insupportable" is being showered with this revolting sauce! I needn't remind you that your husband is Ambassador to the Court of St.
James! [RETREATING FOOTSTEPS.]
[DOOR SLAMS.]
Silence.
I don't approve of silences! [SONNY CLEARS THROAT.]
I get fallow deer sent to me from Richmond Park.
You have to be on the list.
The Queen said to me, "Put yourself on the list.
" So I did.
[SONNY.]
How very sensible, Ma'am.
What I admire about Princess Margaret is the way she puts everyone at their ease.
Are you alright? [LOW CONVERSATIONS.]
Putain de merde! [CONTINUES IN FRENCH.]
Hello, little girl.
Who are you? I'm Belinda.
Is Princess Margaret in there? Remind me, Sonny, do you have any children? Yes, indeed, Ma'am.
A daughter, seven years old.
No male heir, then? Even so, I'm very fond of her.
Of course, in many ways I feel responsible.
It was I, after all, who introduced the humble Miss Watson-Scott, as she then was, to the beau monde at your dear father's house.
Who knew then she was destined to command - the heights of society? - Hm.
You're very lucky, you know, a reprobate like you, to be invited to this glittering occasion.
I'm eternally grateful.
- How are you managing? - Dying for a drink.
Well, this is quite delicious, you have my sympathy.
[CHUCKLES.]
I've never been a heroin addict but I did have to give up cigarettes, - which was quite hard enough.
- Oh, dear.
- Do you think someone - Will you excuse me a moment? Are you looking for someone? I wanted to meet Princess Margaret.
I see.
Well, I think you'd be better off without, believe me.
Why don't we ask your mother to come over? Oh, look.
There's a little person who can't sleep.
[SOME LAUGHTER.]
Who is that? I'm afraid it's my daughter, Ma'am.
- She should be in bed.
- Thank you, Patrick.
Darling, what are you doing up? This is a dinner for grown-ups.
- Which one's Princess Margaret? - Yes.
Why don't you get your mother to present you to her? Will you, Mummy? Please? Are you involved in politics? For my own part, I don't mind who's in government if they're good at governing.
What we must avoid at all costs is these windscreen wipers: left, right, left, right - Ma'am, I'd like to introduce - Not now.
She should be in bed.
She'll only get over-excited.
[SONNY.]
Quite right.
Honestly, darling, how did she escape? Go on.
[SONNY.]
Now, I really think it's about time we joined the others.
[PRINCESS MARGARET.]
Oh, must we? We've been having such a cozy time.
I do so hate big parties.
So do I.
It was all my wife's idea.
[CONVERSATIONS CONTINUE.]
Waaaaaah! Put the candles on the cake We're gonna celebrate We got another year We all here Put the candles on the cake [SONG CONTINUES.]
Sonny and I are so grateful to you.
Oh.
Anything for Sonny.
Try to avoid Bridget, though.
- She can be rather fierce.
- Of course.
If security asks, you're to pretend to be my wife.
How far am I meant to go with that? [LAUGHTER AND CHATTER.]
Oh, Patrick's here.
[LOW CONVERSATION.]
Oh, Christ.
Sir.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING.]
[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER.]
My dear, what a nice surprise! - George! - [LAUGHS.]
I'm sitting here because I can't hear anything otherwise.
I thought people were supposed to lead lives - of quiet desperation.
- Not quiet enough.
Now.
Have you found something that you enjoy doing? Yes, but sadly I've had to give that up.
Then you're guilty of the greatest sin of all.
- Am I? - Wasting time.
You must make a contribution.
No man is an island, though there are a surprising number here who own one.
And not just in Scotland.
Though, of course you're right.
My father once said to me: [AS DAVID.]
"If you have a talent, use it.
Or you'll be miserable all your life.
" It was just about the only non-hostile remark he ever made.
He was a very brilliant man, but he was never happy, I think.
Yes, well I hardly ever think of him these days.
He would've hated you to make the same mistakes, Patrick.
No more wasted time.
I I must go and find my Yes, yes, yes.
Go.
Go.
[LOW CONVERSATIONS.]
- Patrick.
- Debbie.
You look lovely.
But then you always did at parties.
I'm surprised you remember.
You were either upstairs in bed with someone else, or passed out in the loo.
Yes, that's actually something I wanted to talk to you about.
I don't think I was terribly nice to you and I I know this one.
This is a 12-step thing, isn't it? I'm part of your "moral inventory".
- No, I just - Will you excuse me? David, Cindy! Cindy.
You made it! - Happy birthday, darling.
- [LAUGHS.]
Sonny, are you sure this is all above board? Bridget just gave me the most terrible scowling look.
Just stick to the story.
You met Cindy, your wife couldn't come, asked her instead, didn't check.
It's nothing to do with me.
Right.
So, erm I met Cindy, wife couldn't come, asked Cindy instead - Hello, you.
- Happy birthday, darling.
- Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
- So glad you're here.
It's the best birthday present What I find with beautiful women is that after one's waited around for ages, they all arrive at once, like buses are supposed to do.
Not that I've ever waited around for a bus.
Look at Princess Margaret.
One has to be careful not to trip over her.
That was quite a scene.
Mm.
Yes, I do admire P.
M.
She has something of your father's joie-de-vivre.
- Imagine if they'd met! - Imagine.
The way she used a minor accident to screw maximum humiliation out of the Ambassador.
Of course I'm absolutely devoted to his wife, who, behind that phoney chic, is a genuinely malicious person.
- And here they are! - Will you excuse me? I must go and talk to our hostess.
I hope we didn't drive away your young friend.
- He seemed very nervous.
- Oh, we can get on without him.
Mon cher Jacques, I thought you were absolutely brilliant, the way you handled that tiresome woman.
Thank you, but I feel the royal presence bearing down on us.
Maybe we could explore the depths of the party.
My dear fellow, you are the depths of the party.
- [LAUGHTER.]
- Au revoir! A tout à l'heure.
Consorting with the enemy? They came to me for sympathy, Ma'am.
I told them they'd come to the wrong place! He's a clumsy fool, and as to his absurd wife Hello, there! Isn't this a lovely party? Ma'am.
I'll come and find you later, alright? Oh.
Yes.
- Who was that? - My daughter.
Now, where was I? I've quite lost my flow The main thing I remember, apart from your poisonous father, was that beautiful house.
Nothing compared to all of this.
Ohhh! Yes, it's funny how things turn out.
It's all lovely, I just wish it wasn't full of such awful shits.
Not you, of course.
Or Mummy.
- [SHE SIGHS.]
- You seemed incredibly cool to me, unlike my parents' usual crowd.
And kinder too.
Kind? You're sure you're not confusing me with someone else? You wouldn't be an angel and talk to her for a second? - Mummy? Mummy? - Oh.
This is my old friend Patrick Melrose.
- Oh, yes, I remember.
- So.
Quite a party! [BUZZ OF CHATTER.]
Bridget! Lovely party! I just wanted to clarify: I met Cindy, my wife couldn't come, so [SONNY.]
starts to show.
May I touch it? [CINDY.]
Oh, Sonny.
There's nothing to touch.
Not for weeks yet.
[CHORAL MUSIC.]
- What is it, darling? - Oh, er Oh I just saw Cindy Smith with Sonny.
I said we shouldn't invite her 'cause we didn't know her and now she's here.
- Oh, I'm just being paranoid.
- Yes, yes.
Probably.
- Um - Probably paranoid? Is there somewhere we can go? [LOVE IS ALL AROUND.]
I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes [SAXOPHONE SOLO.]
[BAND LEADER.]
Joe Wagner on the saxophone.
Patrick Melrose, why aren't you drinking? - Happy birthday, Sonny! - Don Wills on the trombone! You know, I frightfully dislike this bit.
What makes you think we wanna know their names? - Saw you talking to Bridget - Chilly Willy Watson on cornet.
- She looked awfully stormy.
- [CORNET SOLO.]
Sonny, may I steal Patrick for a moment? - Chilly Willy Watson! - You alright? Yes, sorry, I I just thought I Let's go here.
I thought I'd save you from our host.
Oh! There's an air of palpable stupidity that comes off that man, like opening the door to a sauna.
- [CINDY.]
It makes sense.
- [SONNY.]
No.
- No, I can't tell her tonight.
- You can tell her I'm My God, look at them all.
I remember these people from my childhood.
Hard and dull.
- They're the last Marxists.
- Hm? The last people to believe class is a total explanation.
Let's get out of here.
Come on.
What are you two muttering about? Hello, stranger.
Oh, Christ.
Johnny, Patrick, this is my husband.
- This is Angus.
- Quite a party.
Must have cost a pretty penny, eh? [LAUGHS.]
My husband is obsessed with how much everything costs.
Why don't you get me a drink? They're free.
- Johnny will help you.
- Actually, - Johnny and I were just about to - [ANGUS.]
Come on! - Come on, then.
[LAUGHS.]
- [JOHNNY MUTTERS.]
He looked so good on paper but he's completely obsessed with whether a cheap-day return is refundable if you don't use the second half.
[CHUCKLES.]
Shall we go exploring? It's very good to see you again.
I thought perhaps you'd been avoiding me.
- As a bad influence.
- Not you.
The world.
Well You're here now.
Perhaps we can liven up this dreary party.
You certainly have to kick a lot of bodies to find a live one.
Tony's got some charlie.
I suppose that's against the rules now.
- Is it? - I think technically, yes.
Christ, why are you all so dull? Men used to talk to me about how they used butter for sex.
Now they tell me how they've eliminated it from their diet.
Look, there's Debbie.
Doesn't she look beautiful? [PATRICK.]
Very.
I suppose I'd better go and find Johnny.
- We could always go upstairs.
- Upstairs.
What for? For sex.
No strings.
Well, I suppose it's something to do.
- Thank you.
- No, no, I'm very keen.
- Well, come on, then, let's go.
- [CHEERING.]
- I'm sorry, ma'am, the house - We're staying here.
- [ROPE IS UNCLASPED.]
- Thank you! I can't help thinking this is a terrible idea.
- [BRIDGET ARGUING.]
- Sssh! Listen! [BRIDGET.]
humiliating that is! [SONNY.]
Please talk about this in the morning.
[BRIDGET.]
We will talk about it now! [SONNY.]
Our guests are beginning to wonder where we [BRIDGET.]
I don't care about your fucking guests! Tell me, is it the first time You must have heard.
- About the affair? - Oh, it gets better.
Cindy's pregnant with a precious boy-child.
Sonny's so desperate for a male heir he's going to make Cindy - next Countess of Gravesend.
- Poor Bridget.
Like some tin-pot Henry VIII.
- Honestly, you have to laugh.
- Well, you don't have to laugh.
Oh, don't be so pious.
Serves her right.
- What for? - You know what for.
All that climbing.
No wonder she looks so tired.
You know, I have my reservations about your character.
- Me too.
Quick.
Let's go.
- Did you fuck her here? No! Yes, yes, alright, but not in our bedroom! [JULIA.]
Ooh! - [GLASS BREAKS.]
- [JULIA GIGGLES.]
[MOANING.]
[PANTING AND MOANING.]
Guess who I'm having an affair with? Do we have to talk about this now? Your friend Johnny.
[PANTING.]
That's completely put me off.
I thought you might want to steal me back.
Johnny's perfectly nice but that's the problem.
I was so pleased when I found out you were coming tonight.
Patrick Melrose.
It took me by surprise.
- The fact is, I've missed you.
- Me Me too.
But I think I think I'd prefer to remain friends with Johnny.
Really? I just don't want any more irony and tension.
But you love irony and tension! I think you imagine everyone else is just like you.
Fuck off, Patrick.
Alright, I think we'd better go down, don't you? Before we have a row.
- You go first.
- God, you're a pain.
[DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.]
Oh, God.
[INHALES AND EXHALES DEEPLY.]
I broke a glass.
Don't tell my father.
[ANNE.]
What about your mother? Do you wanna tell your mother? [ELEANOR.]
Patrick what is it, love? [MARIANNE.]
What would you have said to him? [SHATTERS.]
[DEEE-LITE "POWER OF LOVE".]
I was looking for you.
Where have you been? Nowhere.
I wonder, can we find somewhere to talk? - Yeah.
- Sorry.
I told you there's something I've never said out loud and never would.
And now I'm going to.
Forgive my inarticulacy, it's not that I'm embarrassed, it's just I don't want it to be a burden for you.
- Just go ahead.
- [INHALES.]
So.
I've told you about my parents' drunkenness and the violence, but what I was skirting around - Not now.
- No, thank you.
Just to let you know the fireworks - will start in a few minutes.
- Thank you.
When I was eight, and for some years afterwards my father "abused" me as we're invited to call it these days.
What do you mean, "abused"? I [EXHALES.]
It was Oh, God Nobody should do that to anybody else.
- The first time - The fireworks are about Do you think you could leave us alone for one fucking minute - so we can have a conversation? - I'm sorry, sir.
Do we look like children? Do we look like we're interested in the fucking fireworks? [SNIFFS.]
What do I mean by abused? I mean sexually abused.
Oh, God, I'm sorry.
No wonder you hated him so much.
Well, now you know.
The first incident masqueraded as a punishment, though I never knew the crime which gave it a certain Kafkaesque charm.
.
What a bastard.
It must have split the world in half.
Yes, I think that is what happened.
What makes you think that? It just seemed obvious.
In that moment, when it was happening, this will sound strange, but there was a lizard on the wall.
A gecko, bright green.
I thought, "If I can somehow put myself inside then I might be able to get through this.
" Not much of an escape plan, I know.
Ahhh [SNIFFS.]
The point is now I'm exhausted hating him.
It's not enough.
And if I'm going to break out into the world not just this, but the real world, to learn something, make a contribution, live rather than just survive, then I am going to have to say these things out loud.
- [FIREWORKS POP AND WHISTLE.]
- [CHEERING.]
[COUGHS.]
We are missing the fireworks, if you want to It's alright.
I wondered whether perhaps you'd like your old room back? Oh, Mummy, I don't know.
Can we just talk about it when we get there? - Whatever makes you happy.
- [SIGHS HEAVILY.]
I've treated you dreadfully sometimes.
- Snobbishly.
- Oh, no.
Only sometimes.
Your father always blamed that Nicholas Pratt man.
You were such a nice girl until you met him, and then you started criticizing everything at home, people you'd known all your life.
Perfectly nice people.
Your father always loved you, but I can't pretend he wasn't hurt sometimes.
[FIREWORKS WHISTLE AND POP IN DISTANCE.]
- Have I said too much? - No! Not at all.
Let's have a nice long talk tomorrow.
We should probably get going.
We've a long way to go.
Yes.
- I'm not recruiting, I swear.
- Go on.
Perhaps the only way to move on is to become more detached from yourself and more attached to something else.
- A hobby, you mean? - [LAUGHS.]
Someone else.
- Fall in love, have kids.
- Hm.
Yeah.
Why not? I tried falling in love, many times, as you know.
Not sure that was love.
Even so, my experience of love: you get excited thinking someone can mend your broken heart, disappointed when you realize they can't.
- [FIREWORKS CONTINUE POPPING.]
- But the next time.
Hm.
Of course, the other danger is, without bitterness, spite, sarcasm, snobbery and self-loathing, - there might be nothing left.
- Perhaps.
Or think what you could put there instead.
[FIREWORKS EXPLODING.]
Ah, here's our hostess! I wanted to find Sonny.
I really couldn't care less, Ma'am.
- [CHEERING.]
- I've been a bloody fool.
[NICHOLAS.]
Well, I can't say I disagree.
I was driven to it! Bridget's not having a son has been frightfully hard.
I'm just not sure I like the idea of life without her.
And Cindy has got some very peculiar ideas.
She's already suggested I knock a wall through.
And she looks at the furniture like a bloody auctioneer.
Isn't that Bridget now? - Bridget! Bridget! - [ENGINE STARTS.]
Bridget, where are you going? Bridget! Stop the car! Stop! [CHORAL MUSIC.]
[PATRICK.]
Oh, I'm sure my father was intensely unhappy, but to forgive someone, doesn't there have to be some attempt to change? But if he'd changed, he wouldn't need forgiveness.
Excuse me? Hello? Erm I'm sorry if I snapped at you earlier.
It's just I was in the middle of saying something rather tricky.
I was only doing my job.
I know you were and I apologize.
So do you think there's any way to forgive him? Of course.
It really wasn't that bad.
No, not you! [BOTH SNIGGER.]
Well, if the waiter can forgive me You go ahead.
I don't think I could get to sleep just yet.
And the thought of that hotel room.
Oof.
Well, thanks for telling me.
No need to get Californian about it.
No need to be so English.
- It's the end of the party.
- It's more than that.
It's the end of an era.
Well, let's hope so.
Can I help you? I knew a Chilly Willy in New York.
- You're not - Where'd he live? - Tenth Avenue.
- What did he do? He sold He lived on the streets.
It's impossible, I know.
I The coat.
The English guy who wouldn't take his coat off, right? Patrick Melrose.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Christ! You look well.
Er I I didn't ever know I was always a musician, man.
I just er you know? Your wife once sold me a horse syringe for 20 dollars.
- It was like this.
- Yeah, she OD'd.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Still, it's a miracle you're alive.
- You too.
- [CHUCKLES.]
But then everything's a miracle, man.
It's a miracle we don't melt in the bath like a piece of soap.
[GRAVEL CRUNCHES.]
- Nice to meet you.
- You too.
Erm See you at breakfast, perhaps? Yes.
Why not? - The Cotswold Carvery? - Hm.
Around nine.
Avoid disappointment.
[CHUCKLES.]
[BIRDS CHIRRUPING.]
[CIGARETTE LIGHTER CLICKS.]
[EXHALES.]
[SPLASH.]
[DEEE-LITE "POWER OF LOVE".]
I believe in the power of love I believe I believe in the power of love I believe I believe in the power of love I believe in the power of love Feel the power Let the people call me naive I believe