PEN15 (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

1 Stardust, we need to hide in Windsor Caves or Claw will kill us.
No Puff Paws, I can't leave without Dingle Pan.
Do you want me to stay with you? You'll stay with me? Yeah.
OK.
Kiss me.
Maya Chan, did you brush your teeth? Yeah, I'm in bed! I'm asleep now! - [MAYA SPEAKING IN JAPANESE.]
- I love you.
- Let me turn the light off.
No, no, can you leave that on? - OK.
- All right.
Go sleep.
Hurry up dummy! - We're gonna be late for school! - It's my bathroom, too! Shut up!! What are you doing in there? Shaving your back? You can't just barge in! I was brushing my teeth! There is no privacy in this house! - Good morning.
- Morning.
Is it just me, or it's super dry last night? My nostrils are crusty.
This is too strong, again.
- It's a light roast.
- Light roasts are stronger, Curtis.
You know I don't like it strong and yet you continue to make it strong.
- It's Peruvian.
- Yeah, well, it tastes like shit.
- OK, I'm gonna go.
Love you.
Bye.
- Bye, sweetie.
Just use more cream, like - OK, thank you.
I-I love you.
- OK, thanks.
Love you.
- I got to go.
- Have a good day at school.
Pay attention, people.
We're discussing The Hero's Journey.
- Maya.
- Ah.
Um, what are we gonna do this weekend? Like I really want it to be fun.
- Yeah.
Fun.
- Do you wanna go see, like a movie, or something.
That would be fun.
We could tell your mom that we're gonna go see Chicken Run and then see Coyote Ugly instead.
What? - Maya.
- Yeah.
What? - You're not listening, obviously.
- Yes, I am.
Um, I got to [IN JAPANESE.]
poo.
OK, let's go.
Or actually, can can I go in there alone this time 'cause I kinda want some privacy.
Oh, yeah.
You're your own person.
- OK.
Thanks.
- You just always want me to go in there with you.
Yeah, I know, it's just gonna be like, a nasty one.
So, I don't wanna put you through that, you know.
It's OK.
I'll just breathe through my mouth.
OK, or can you just, like keep watch outside, and that, no one can come in? OK.
Hey.
Sex.
Sexual.
Sex.
Vagina.
Vagina You, guys, I can't wait! BWitched is like the best band.
- Gotta let me in - [ALL.]
Hey, hey, hey! [ALL.]
Let the fun begin.
Hey! You guys, we have to be good about calling Q102 tonight from 6 to 7.
Like, we need to win these backstage passes.
We have to.
No one ever calls.
It's gonna be so tight.
Oh, my God.
Guess who's coming to our town this weekend.
B freaking Witched.
This is so jacked.
You, like, be BWitched.
- Whoa.
Like, uh, I'm a wolf today - Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey Yeah.
So, we need to call the radio station tonight between 6 to 7 to try to get backstage passes.
And the good thing is that, like no one ever calls, so, it's gonna be tight.
- Oh.
- Are you so going right now? That was a hard long one, huh? So weird, it doesn't smell like poop at all in here.
Your body must be changing or something.
Yeah.
All done.
So, we called 603, 606, we'll skip 605 - 'cause everyone's gonna call at 605.
- Yo, I found the Spice channel.
Yesterday, I mapped it out.
Every 48 seconds it shows a titty and it lasts for about a second.
- It's awesome.
- Wow, that's so, like specific.
Hey, Sam, is it weird to see your mom on screen? - Do you stay hard? - Fuck you.
I stay hard 24/7.
Are you guys, like talking about, like masturbating, or Yeah, Maya.
Just ignore them.
Like, they're pervs.
It's just porn, dork.
OK, well, do you mind keeping the sex talk down? Can you just suck my balls? - Oh, can I barf all over your fat face? - Sam! Eh, I heard Connie M.
puts peanut butter on her crotch and has a dog lick it.
- Are you serious? - I'm serious.
- Eww.
- Eww.
What the fuck? That's nasty.
I could never do that.
So, I'm coming home with you, right? - To make the calls? - Yeah, yeah.
'Cause I just I just don't want to do it in my house, so Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh - Dammit! - What? No, I forgot, I forgot.
I have to, um go to Sam's house to do a math project.
- Tonight? - Yeah.
- Do plans mean like zilch to you? - No, I made a plan with Sam first, so, obviously I'm keeping that.
Means a lot to me.
- Just remember to call Q102 - Yeah.
- at 6:00 p.
m.
- 6:00 p.
m.
I know.
- I'm not stupid.
Don't worry we'll win.
- I refuse to be home this weekend.
I'll call at 6:00.
I really wanna win for the weekend I really wanna win for the weekend I really wanna win for the weekend I really wanna win For the weekend, weekend I really wanna win for the weekend No one come in for an hour, I'm taking a nap! - You think you have a job - You got a great kid.
and make money, that makes you better than me.
I know.
Just get a job, OK? Just get a job.
OK, then who's gonna drive Anna to school? I'm not gonna talk to you like that, OK? Like this.
All I do is trying to take care of I just hate you! - I can't do this one more minute! - OK, OK.
Move away! - No, shut up! No! - Come on.
- Hey, grow up! Grow up! - Don't tell me to grow up! Fuck you! Mrs.
Zablowski? It's Anna Konkle.
Sam? Maya? Mrs.
Zablowski, I'm so sorry to come unannounced.
Hope I'm not interrupting.
Um, I just wanted to stop by while Maya and Sam did their project, I promise I won't distract them.
Thank you.
Oh, uh, Maya's not here, but Gabe and Jafeer are.
Oh, did she just leave? Um, I haven't seen Maya.
Oh.
That's weird.
- 'Cause she said that she was here, so.
- Oh.
I bet Sam would love to see you.
And I'll make Bagel Bites.
I love Bagel Bites.
Pizza in the morning, pizza In the evening, pizza at supper time But pizza on a bagel, You can eat pizza anytime Maya, dinner's ready! Maya! - I told you dinner is ready.
- I know.
I'm coming down.
What's that smell? - Let's go down.
Let's eat.
- OK.
Why do you think she would lie? I'm not sure.
She might be going through something that has nothing to do with you.
It's all about boundaries.
I pretty much know everything about her, though.
I don't know what she could possibly be going through that I wouldn't know.
- Mama.
- Mm-hmm.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE.]
Why are you talking like that? I'm not talking like anything.
- Tonight we pay respect to Ojichan.
- Why? It's his birthday, moron.
What, did you forget? No.
OK, Mama.
Can I help you clean up it all? - Oh.
- Oh.
You know what? Why don't you go up and say hi to the boys.
- Yeah.
- I think they're watching - a movie or something.
- Armageddon.
Um, I just want you guys to know, like - I really love talking to you.
- Yeah, we don't wanna keep boring you.
No, no.
I could talk to you guys for hours.
I could even sleep here.
Just kidding.
I'll go check on those rascals.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Happy birthday, Ojichan.
Thank you for always watching over us.
Mama.
What do you mean, "he's always watching over us"? He protects us and watches over us all the time.
Uh, when you're walking the street, or when you're brushing your teeth.
All the time.
- Even when I'm in bed asleep? - Yes.
Hmm.
Like, even when I'm I don't know, like napping? Yes.
- Dude, was that boob? - That was her foot, idiot.
- You promised her boob.
- It's coming.
I don't see anything.
I don't see - Oh, ho ho, yeah.
- There it is.
Oh, my God! - That is nice.
- Hey, guys - you mind if I join in on the movie? - Anna, get out! - What? - Get out! Go! - Is this - Get out, Anna! - You're pervs.
- Hi, Anna.
- Hello.
- Hi, Yuki.
- Oh, Anna, hi.
- Um Sorry to call so late.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's just kind of an emergency.
- Um, is Maya there, please.
- What happened? Is everything OK? Um It's not really an emergency.
- Oh - So, don't don't worry about it.
- OK.
- I, I just really need to talk to Maya.
- Is she there? - Bed time.
Don't call so late.
- Talk tomorrow.
Bye, Anna.
- OK, but can you just tell me Hello? Just hung up on are you kidding And lied to, and stupid pervert boys.
- Hello.
What's your name? - Diana.
Diana, you are caller 20.
- The winner - Oh, my God! Thank you so much! You just won two backstage passes to see BWitched at the Eastlake Amphitheater this Saturday.
Oh, my God! Yes! This is the happiest day of my entire life! What's your favorite radio station? All The Hits, Q102! Mommy! - What's wrong? - It's Ojichan! I see Ojichan! That's nice.
Say hello.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to do that.
I wasn't doing what you think I was doing.
I was just scratching.
Go away, please! Go away! The Gobi desert is amongst the driest places in the world.
Na? Na? Are you mad at me? Why weren't you in carpool this morning? 'Cause I, like slept in.
- Oh, really? Oh.
- Yeah.
- Guess what? - What? I went to Sam's and you weren't there.
You liar.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
Busted buddy.
Na.
- Na, listen.
OK.
- I'm trying to watch the video.
Go away.
Go away.
Na.
- Na.
Listen.
- I already told you, I'm trying to I'm sorry, I lied, OK? That was really messed up.
But I'm doing it because I am hiding something about me that has nothing to do with you.
I swear on my life.
Will you listen? What? I see dead people.
Oh.
I, like, see ghosts all the time.
- For real? - Yeah.
Who do you see? I see my Ojichan.
What is an Ojichan? - It's my grandpa.
Yeah.
- Oh.
And it's like really freaky.
I'm not kidding.
I have an idea.
Spirit, show yourself.
Spirit, reveal.
Spirit, show yourself, so, Maya knows you're real.
I think he's here.
Oh, my God.
I don't know I could be wrong, I just feel it.
- OK, so, put your hands on it.
- OK.
Ojichan are you here? - Don't move it.
OK, I'm not.
- I'm not.
Ojichan are you here? - Oh, my God.
Are you moving it? God! - I'm not moving it.
Are you moving it? OK, that's crazy! - I don't want to do this.
- It's OK.
Put your hands back.
I'm with you.
Put your hands on it.
Ojichan why are you here? - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God.
C L I T T, C-L-I-T, clit.
Clit.
- Clit.
- Clit.
- I don't know what clit.
- I don't know clit.
- Eww.
- Eww.
- Clit! - Clit! - Maya! - Anna! - You're doing that.
- I'm not.
I was not touching.
I swear on my life, I'm not moving it.
- You're moving it.
- My fingers are barely touching it.
OK, well, same.
Why is your grandpa saying "clit"? I don't know.
Maybe it's not him.
- It's him for sure.
- It is.
- I can feel him.
- I don't know, Na, I feel like - this is crazy - Maya, let's just try one more time.
- OK, OK.
- OK.
OK.
Ojichan, why are you haunting Maya? Oh, my God.
M - A - It's moving fast! - No.
S-T - S-T U R-B Whoa! That is crazy, Ojichan.
Why did you just flick it? - I did not flick it.
- What the hell? That was not me.
That was literally him.
We're in the middle of contacting him.
- I didn't flick it.
I didn't.
- What the hell? You guys are playing Ouija? We're not playing, it's serious, so That shit's so stupid.
You realize one of you is just moving it and it's just your subconscious, right? Are you OK? Yeah.
I need to tell you my subconscious.
OK.
I'm like Sam only I'm grosser, 'cause I'm a girl, and I'm a pervert.
And I really shouldn't be doing what I'm doing.
I've been putting my hands down my pants, um my area down there to feel good.
Um, when I'm in bed sometimes I put my hands between my legs to feel good.
Really? Yeah.
Hey, you mean like this? Not exactly, um, sort of.
You don't feel gross? How gross can I feel if you do it, too? Promise I'm not a pervert.
I promise.
And swear you won't tell anyone.
- Oh, my God.
I swear.
You swear, too? - I swear.
Yeah.
- Pinky swear.
- Pinky swear.
Oh, is this about me drinking Sweet! Sweet, I see.