Phineas and Ferb s01e03 Episode Script
Flop Starz (15 min)
I met my love in a- OW! Oh, boy! Did that kid stink or what? But maybe you've got what it takes to be The Next Super American Pop Teen Idol Star! Auditions open today at the Googolplex Mall in beautiful downtown Danville.
Auditions! Today?! Yes, today! At two o'clock sharp.
I gotta tell Stacy! That pop star stuff might be fun at first, but then you'd be stuck with a dead end job.
Too bad you can't just do it once and move on.
Well, what you're talking about is a one-hit wonder.
A one-hit wonder? What's that? Well, a musical act goes to the top of the charts with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics.
(Song: I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! ( She's Lindana! ) ( She wants to have fun ) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! Then they throw a big diva tantrum, lose their label, then fade to obscurity.
Before they know it, their song ends up as elevator music.
I wanna, wanna, wanna have fun fun fun Years later, they have a reunion concert, and after that, they never sing again, and no one remembers them.
Not that I would know anything about that.
A one-hit wonder.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
But Stacy, what am I going to sing? Hello, what are you gonna wear? Hmmm.
What do you think? Too much.
Too little.
Ugh, too clean.
Too dirty.
Too street.
Too goth.
Where'd you get that? My mom's closet.
You like it? Nah, too retro.
Perfect! Nice, huh? Yeah, you should've tried that on first.
Let's go! Chika, chika, choowah.
Meaningless lyrics done.
How's the catchy tune coming along? Excellent! We'll be done by lunch! Hey, where'd Perry go? Hello? Hello-oo? Anybody there? Oh, good morning Agent P.
We just received word that Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate.
We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
Perry! We'll meet back in the entrance in an hour.
Come on, Stacy! We gotta hurry so we could get a spot in li-- yayaya.
I've never sang in front of so many people! Uh, Candace? I can't do this.
Oh yes, you can.
You're not a quitter; you're a fighter! I am? Sure you are! You're a lean, mean, singing machine! That's it, yeah! Now you're looking like a winner! Hey, Candace.
And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away its food.
Oh! Hi, Jeremy! Are you auditioning too? Nah.
I came to see this hot new band called PFT.
I downloaded their song this morning.
It's tight! The hundredth contestant gets to sing onstage with the band! Really? Hey, looks like that's you.
Congratulations! You're the hundredth contestant! Ladies and gentlemen, this young lady has the honor of singing onstage with PFT.
So now, the band you've been waiting for Phineas and the Ferb-Tones! Phineas? Candace? You're the hundredth contestant? How serendipitous.
This'll be like a brother and sister thing! Now I'm assuming you've heard our hit single.
I mean, who hasn't, right? It's a big hit.
So here's the words but don't worry if you get lost.
The lyrics are meaningless anyway.
I'll point when it's your turn.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Ferbettes! I'm Phineas and this is Ferb, and we're gonna sing a song! (Song: Gitchee Gitchee Goo) Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! ( That's what my baby says! ) Mow-mow-mow! ( And my heart starts pumping! ) Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! I said a Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! ( That's what my baby says! ) Mow-mow-mow! ( And my heart starts pumping! ) Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! I said a Bow, Chika, Bow-Wow! Candace! Wait a minute! What are you doing? I'm cuing you? How'd you get a hit single?! Well, it wasn't easy.
It took most of the morning and half a dozen phone calls.
But if you're willing to put in the work- That's it! I'm gonna tell Mom! Okay tell her what? Ooh, I'm just gonna tell.
Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom, you've gotta see this! Let me guess.
Is it unbelieva- WOOAH! Come on, come on, come on! Hi, I'm Ben Baxter, Huge-O-Records.
Why don't you come by my office in an hour and we can talk about your future.
Future? Cool.
He must be a psychic.
Come on, come on, come on! See?! There they are onstage!!! Ladies and gentlemen, once again Marty the Rabbit Boy and His Musical Blender! Hon, we're getting you an eye exam.
No, no! Wait! Perry! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Ha ha, everything is ready! Oh, what is it now? Oh, you are my new temp? Well, let me just get you up the speed.
I know it's bit of a mess.
I'm just putting the finishing touches of my latest maniacal plan.
You see, in a few minutes, I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror upon the entire Tri-State Area! And Perry the Platypus will never be the wiser.
Perry the Platypus? You're a temp? Are times that hard? Ugh! I told Mom I don't need glasses! What the -- Uh, No! No! Wait! Ugggggh MMMMMOOOOM?!? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incor-- Sorry, Perry the Platypus, but you are too late! Ooh, this one's nice.
Mom! Come here! You've gotta see this! But Candace! I haven't payed for this yet! Hey! Ha ha ha ha! When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me! Whoaa! Wait, wait, wait, you're not supposed to touch that! Hey, hey, no fair! Wow, what a great painting! How did you get permission for that? Oh, they didn't mind.
The building's scheduled for demolition.
Seeeeeee??!! AAAAHHHH!! Uh, ma'am, you're gonna have to come back and pay for that.
Yes of course, officer.
AAAAHHHH!! Hey, weren't you Lindana? Yes, I was! I can't believe you recognized me.
Well, I was a huge fan.
You still have to pay for the jacket.
I know.
Very clever, Perry the Platypus.
I was trying to ignore you, but you forced my hand.
And now I shall relax with a nice, tasty deli platter.
Oh-ho-ho, where are my manners? Here you go, Perry the Platypus.
Care for some pepper? Just say when.
Anytime.
Boys, let me start by saying we love your act and we want to be in the Phineas and the Ferb-Tones business.
And by the way, aren't you a little young to be pop stars? No.
Well, okay then! We prepared to offer you a very lucrative contract if you'll just sign exclusively with us for your follow-up single.
Follow-up single? Who do you think we are, some two-bit hacks who will keep writing new songs just because you pay us obscene amounts of cash?! Phineas and the Ferb-Tones are strictly a one-hit wonder! Good day to you, sir! Diva tantrum, check.
Elevator music, check.
Ah, who needs 'em? We still got this video tape of their performance.
We could do live CDs, DVDs, pod-casts, and we can digitally re-create their images to make our own sitcom! The Phineas and Ferb Show! We could squeeze twenty years of entertainment out of this one video tape.
Whoaa! That giant robot's coming right at us! Wow, you sure like a lot of pepper.
I'm more of a paprika man myself.
(coughs) It will take more than condiments to foil my brilliant plan! (sneezes) The tape! Ooh! What an unbelievable stroke of luck! Oof! I'm okay! It's still better than the Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Oh, there you are, Perry.
(Perry chatters) Come on, guys.
We still have one thing left to do.
And the winner of the today's "Next Super American Pop Teen Idol Star" is Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender! Oh, give him a hand! He's going to Hollywood! Hey, Candace.
What's wrong? I'm better than that guy.
Oh, I should've taken blender lessons.
So why did you run off earlier? My brothers.
They always ruin everything.
Well, you like to sing, right? Yeah.
Then you shouldn't let your brothers' fun ruin your good time.
You know, if you get a chance to sing, you oughta sing.
I gotta go, I'll see you later.
Hey Candace, you're still the hundredth contestant.
Wanna come up and help us out? (Song: Gitchee Gitchee Goo) Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! That's what my baby says! Mow-mow-mow! And my heart starts pumping! Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! I said a Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! That's what my baby says! Mow-mow-mow! And my heart starts pumping! Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means That I love you baby, baby, baby! ( Baby-baby-baby-baby, ) Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! That was great! I've been thinking of my brothers all wrong! They're not a nuisance.
They're my ticket to- Thanks, you've been great! This is the last time we're ever gonna sing that song.
We're retiring, good night! The mall is now closed and will re-open at 9:00 A.
M.
tomorrow.
Thank you for shopping with us.
( She's Lindana! ) (Song: I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun You loved her in the '80s.
( She wants to have fun ) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! Get ready to love her again.
Lindana's mega hit I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun, ( She's Lindana ) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! ( She wants to have fun ) has been remixed and re-translated into your favorite languages I wanna, wanna, wanna have fun fun fun! ( Fun fun fun ) Portuguese! Dutch! I'm not Veronica or Alison or Donna Canadian! Japanese! Esperanto! Pig Latin! And I don't wanna scrub the sink or mow the lawn- Dog! And everyone's favorite- Hey, Mom.
Whatcha watchin'? Oh, nothing.
( She wants to have fun! ) I wanna, wanna, wanna have fun, fun, fun!
Auditions! Today?! Yes, today! At two o'clock sharp.
I gotta tell Stacy! That pop star stuff might be fun at first, but then you'd be stuck with a dead end job.
Too bad you can't just do it once and move on.
Well, what you're talking about is a one-hit wonder.
A one-hit wonder? What's that? Well, a musical act goes to the top of the charts with a catchy tune and meaningless lyrics.
(Song: I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! ( She's Lindana! ) ( She wants to have fun ) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! Then they throw a big diva tantrum, lose their label, then fade to obscurity.
Before they know it, their song ends up as elevator music.
I wanna, wanna, wanna have fun fun fun Years later, they have a reunion concert, and after that, they never sing again, and no one remembers them.
Not that I would know anything about that.
A one-hit wonder.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
But Stacy, what am I going to sing? Hello, what are you gonna wear? Hmmm.
What do you think? Too much.
Too little.
Ugh, too clean.
Too dirty.
Too street.
Too goth.
Where'd you get that? My mom's closet.
You like it? Nah, too retro.
Perfect! Nice, huh? Yeah, you should've tried that on first.
Let's go! Chika, chika, choowah.
Meaningless lyrics done.
How's the catchy tune coming along? Excellent! We'll be done by lunch! Hey, where'd Perry go? Hello? Hello-oo? Anybody there? Oh, good morning Agent P.
We just received word that Dr.
Doofenshmirtz has been buying up construction toys at an alarming rate.
We need you to find out what he's up to and put a stop to it.
Perry! We'll meet back in the entrance in an hour.
Come on, Stacy! We gotta hurry so we could get a spot in li-- yayaya.
I've never sang in front of so many people! Uh, Candace? I can't do this.
Oh yes, you can.
You're not a quitter; you're a fighter! I am? Sure you are! You're a lean, mean, singing machine! That's it, yeah! Now you're looking like a winner! Hey, Candace.
And that is what a gorilla looks like when you try to take away its food.
Oh! Hi, Jeremy! Are you auditioning too? Nah.
I came to see this hot new band called PFT.
I downloaded their song this morning.
It's tight! The hundredth contestant gets to sing onstage with the band! Really? Hey, looks like that's you.
Congratulations! You're the hundredth contestant! Ladies and gentlemen, this young lady has the honor of singing onstage with PFT.
So now, the band you've been waiting for Phineas and the Ferb-Tones! Phineas? Candace? You're the hundredth contestant? How serendipitous.
This'll be like a brother and sister thing! Now I'm assuming you've heard our hit single.
I mean, who hasn't, right? It's a big hit.
So here's the words but don't worry if you get lost.
The lyrics are meaningless anyway.
I'll point when it's your turn.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Ferbettes! I'm Phineas and this is Ferb, and we're gonna sing a song! (Song: Gitchee Gitchee Goo) Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! ( That's what my baby says! ) Mow-mow-mow! ( And my heart starts pumping! ) Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! I said a Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! ( That's what my baby says! ) Mow-mow-mow! ( And my heart starts pumping! ) Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! I said a Bow, Chika, Bow-Wow! Candace! Wait a minute! What are you doing? I'm cuing you? How'd you get a hit single?! Well, it wasn't easy.
It took most of the morning and half a dozen phone calls.
But if you're willing to put in the work- That's it! I'm gonna tell Mom! Okay tell her what? Ooh, I'm just gonna tell.
Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom, you've gotta see this! Let me guess.
Is it unbelieva- WOOAH! Come on, come on, come on! Hi, I'm Ben Baxter, Huge-O-Records.
Why don't you come by my office in an hour and we can talk about your future.
Future? Cool.
He must be a psychic.
Come on, come on, come on! See?! There they are onstage!!! Ladies and gentlemen, once again Marty the Rabbit Boy and His Musical Blender! Hon, we're getting you an eye exam.
No, no! Wait! Perry! Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Ha ha, everything is ready! Oh, what is it now? Oh, you are my new temp? Well, let me just get you up the speed.
I know it's bit of a mess.
I'm just putting the finishing touches of my latest maniacal plan.
You see, in a few minutes, I will unleash an unprecedented reign of terror upon the entire Tri-State Area! And Perry the Platypus will never be the wiser.
Perry the Platypus? You're a temp? Are times that hard? Ugh! I told Mom I don't need glasses! What the -- Uh, No! No! Wait! Ugggggh MMMMMOOOOM?!? Doofenshmirtz Evil Incor-- Sorry, Perry the Platypus, but you are too late! Ooh, this one's nice.
Mom! Come here! You've gotta see this! But Candace! I haven't payed for this yet! Hey! Ha ha ha ha! When it comes to havoc, nobody wreaks like me! Whoaa! Wait, wait, wait, you're not supposed to touch that! Hey, hey, no fair! Wow, what a great painting! How did you get permission for that? Oh, they didn't mind.
The building's scheduled for demolition.
Seeeeeee??!! AAAAHHHH!! Uh, ma'am, you're gonna have to come back and pay for that.
Yes of course, officer.
AAAAHHHH!! Hey, weren't you Lindana? Yes, I was! I can't believe you recognized me.
Well, I was a huge fan.
You still have to pay for the jacket.
I know.
Very clever, Perry the Platypus.
I was trying to ignore you, but you forced my hand.
And now I shall relax with a nice, tasty deli platter.
Oh-ho-ho, where are my manners? Here you go, Perry the Platypus.
Care for some pepper? Just say when.
Anytime.
Boys, let me start by saying we love your act and we want to be in the Phineas and the Ferb-Tones business.
And by the way, aren't you a little young to be pop stars? No.
Well, okay then! We prepared to offer you a very lucrative contract if you'll just sign exclusively with us for your follow-up single.
Follow-up single? Who do you think we are, some two-bit hacks who will keep writing new songs just because you pay us obscene amounts of cash?! Phineas and the Ferb-Tones are strictly a one-hit wonder! Good day to you, sir! Diva tantrum, check.
Elevator music, check.
Ah, who needs 'em? We still got this video tape of their performance.
We could do live CDs, DVDs, pod-casts, and we can digitally re-create their images to make our own sitcom! The Phineas and Ferb Show! We could squeeze twenty years of entertainment out of this one video tape.
Whoaa! That giant robot's coming right at us! Wow, you sure like a lot of pepper.
I'm more of a paprika man myself.
(coughs) It will take more than condiments to foil my brilliant plan! (sneezes) The tape! Ooh! What an unbelievable stroke of luck! Oof! I'm okay! It's still better than the Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Oh, there you are, Perry.
(Perry chatters) Come on, guys.
We still have one thing left to do.
And the winner of the today's "Next Super American Pop Teen Idol Star" is Marty the Rabbit Boy and his Musical Blender! Oh, give him a hand! He's going to Hollywood! Hey, Candace.
What's wrong? I'm better than that guy.
Oh, I should've taken blender lessons.
So why did you run off earlier? My brothers.
They always ruin everything.
Well, you like to sing, right? Yeah.
Then you shouldn't let your brothers' fun ruin your good time.
You know, if you get a chance to sing, you oughta sing.
I gotta go, I'll see you later.
Hey Candace, you're still the hundredth contestant.
Wanna come up and help us out? (Song: Gitchee Gitchee Goo) Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! That's what my baby says! Mow-mow-mow! And my heart starts pumping! Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! I said a Bow, Chicka, Bow-Wow! That's what my baby says! Mow-mow-mow! And my heart starts pumping! Chicka-Chicka, Choo Wah! Never gonna stop! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! Gitchee Gitchee Goo means That I love you baby, baby, baby! ( Baby-baby-baby-baby, ) Gitchee Gitchee Goo means that I love you! That was great! I've been thinking of my brothers all wrong! They're not a nuisance.
They're my ticket to- Thanks, you've been great! This is the last time we're ever gonna sing that song.
We're retiring, good night! The mall is now closed and will re-open at 9:00 A.
M.
tomorrow.
Thank you for shopping with us.
( She's Lindana! ) (Song: I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun!) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun You loved her in the '80s.
( She wants to have fun ) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! Get ready to love her again.
Lindana's mega hit I'm Lindana and I Wanna Have Fun, ( She's Lindana ) I'm Lindana and I wanna have fun! ( She wants to have fun ) has been remixed and re-translated into your favorite languages I wanna, wanna, wanna have fun fun fun! ( Fun fun fun ) Portuguese! Dutch! I'm not Veronica or Alison or Donna Canadian! Japanese! Esperanto! Pig Latin! And I don't wanna scrub the sink or mow the lawn- Dog! And everyone's favorite- Hey, Mom.
Whatcha watchin'? Oh, nothing.
( She wants to have fun! ) I wanna, wanna, wanna have fun, fun, fun!