Pivoting (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1 Do you think there's sex in heaven? Coleen loved sex.
AMY: Yeah, of course.
I mean, it's heaven.
I bet everyone looks great naked with the lights on, too.
Wow.
She was the first one of al of us to lose her virginity.
A real trailblazer, that one.
She was such a mentor.
Do you remember at the church carnival, when she taught us how to work a churro with our mouths? Yeah.
I ate mine.
- Excuse me.
Do you mind? - Kind of.
I mean, our friend just died, so we're having a little picnic.
Reminiscing.
- That's my wife.
- No.
I don't Pretty sure it's our friend.
Oh, yeah, I'm pretty sure it's our friend.
I wrote it down.
This is 178.
We're 176.
Oh, there's her grave.
Thanks, Amy.
Oh, you know what? It was a bloppy pen.
- And the cap - Hey.
- I'm just trying to get - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I got it, I got it, I got it.
So sorry.
All right.
Peace be with you.
- Coleen? - Oh, where is she? - Here she is.
- Col? - There she is.
- Found her.
There she is.
Hey! Hi, welcome to Fields.
I hope you find everything you're looking for today! You don't like That's my friendly Fields face.
I just I don't believe you care if I found everything I'm looking for.
Hi! Welcome to Fields.
I hope you find everything you're looking for.
- Wow.
You are so phony.
- Thanks.
I've been married to Dan for 16 years.
I'm good at faking things.
It helps to fantasize about my trainer.
I'm not here.
I'm not here.
I'm just grabbing a vat of coffee, and then thank you I am taking the kids to the park, because I'm a hands-on mother now in the afternoons.
- You hate the park.
- Mm-hmm.
You know you can't just leave them there, right? Yeah.
I'll be in a car nearby.
- [PHONE ALARM SOUNDS.]
- Oh.
Ding-ding.
My 15 minutes is up.
I have to get back to register three.
- Hi.
Welcome to Fields - No.
What time are we going to Coleen's? Is it still Coleen's, or are we calling it Brian's now? No, let's call it Brian's house.
- No, no, no.
That's weird.
- That's weird.
Oh, I just got a dick pic from Henry.
- Oh, my God! - No, no, no, no, no.
It's Dick Clark.
Calm down.
I haven't seen a dick in a long time, but looks better than I remember.
Mm.
Mm.
Maybe your trainer will send you one.
Amy.
Uh, maybe maybe don't dance.
Oh.
Store policy? No.
Sarah? Oh, my God.
I heard you were working here, but I didn't believe it.
I'm Diana, the ex-wife.
Oh.
Okay.
Hope you found everything you were looking for.
Paper or plastic? Paper? Great.
Uh, is this life change because Coleen died, or is it because of me.
I would just hate to be responsible for - this.
- No, I just I wanted a fun job, and this is fun.
Fun.
You never liked fun when we were married.
Oh, that's because you were having all the fun with our acupuncturist.
Mm.
I'm worried about you, Sarah.
You know, if you're worried about me, maybe you shouldn't buy $11.
39 sriracha on my credit card.
- Nice recall, Sarah.
- Thank you.
I can't afford this on a nurse's salary.
That's why I got spousal support.
- Right.
- [SCOFFS.]
Fine.
- I will put it back.
- Great.
Um, we don't talk our customers out of expensive stuff.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So, she should just have everything? Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah.
You'll just get everything.
Yeah.
Hey, you know what? Take this and this and everything, and you know what? While you're spending my money, why don't you just take everything? Here you go.
Everything.
Look at you.
Just take, take, take.
- Oh.
- If you want me to.
[SIGHS.]
Please take care of yourself.
- Bye.
- Nice to meet you, Diane! - Diana.
- Diana! I'm having fun, Diana.
This is fun! I guess the receipt should go to you.
Uh, there's a coupon for fabric softener we have on sale th this week.
Next on line! Oh, there's no one there.
- [DOG BARKS.]
- AMY: Mommy's home from work.
Hi! Oh.
Hi.
I thought you were an intruder.
Nope.
Just their mother.
I'm still not used to you coming home in the afternoon.
- Well, get used to it.
- [CELL PHONE RINGS.]
Oh, you know what? It's Mommy's assistant.
Hi, Donna.
What's up? Chef Mary isn't sure she wants to host the show tomorrow.
She thinks we're too rinky dink.
Rinky dink? Her specialty's parking lot barbecue.
You can't fix trash.
Okay, can you just get on a Zoom and I'll kiss her ass? Let me see if I can figure out how to log on this time.
You want me to stay with the kids so you can work? I have to come back at 5:00 anyway so you can go to your attractive, deceased friend's house.
Such an odd thing to say.
No, I'm good.
It's just gonna be 10 minutes of work.
I'm a great multi-tasker.
You should see me text and drive.
- Barely any typos.
- I don't mind.
No, I'm good.
It's good, good, good.
You go.
Okay.
She's dying for me to ask her for help, but I'm not gonna give her the satisfaction.
Isn't she your babysitter? It's a complicated relationship, Donna.
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
Yes! Perfect! - Here, I'll take that.
- Huh.
There you go.
Great job.
Come on.
That's using your core.
How'd that feel? Something's not working.
You're not leaving me for Pump It Gym now that they have racquetball now, are you? No, I would never go that.
Okay.
I plateaued.
I didn't lose any weight this week.
I feel bulky.
Okay.
All right, all right, all right, lookit, lookit.
The more glycogen stores and fat you have to lose, the more "fuel" there is to work this process, right? So more calorie burn.
But when you lose weight, there's less glycogen, less calorie burn.
Temporarily.
So, you're not bulky.
You're beautiful.
- Stop it.
- No, no, no, I mean it.
Come on.
Say it to me.
[CHUCKLES.]
You're beautiful.
No.
Jodie, come on.
Let me hear it.
- You're beautiful.
- Thank you.
- [LAUGHING.]
- Come on.
Come here.
We're gonna say it in the mirror.
Say it to yourself, right here.
Gimme five.
Start now.
You're beautiful, you're beautiful, you're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
[INHALES DEEPLY.]
You're beautiful.
There you go.
Keep going.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
[MICROWAVE BEEPING.]
Mom, did you just call lasagna beautiful? No.
I was calling myself beautiful.
- Because I am.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
And so are you.
- [DOOR CLOSES.]
- Ew, Mom.
You're so cringe right now.
I'm going to the mall for dinner.
Hi, Dad.
Bye, Dad.
Hi.
How was your day? Exhausting.
You're lucky you get to lounge around all day.
Well, I wouldn't say I lounge.
I cleaned the rugs, did carpool, made a lasagna, and, oh, I worked out.
You don't need to work out.
Now that you're 40, it's all downhill.
Why fight it? Mm.
Good lasagna.
- Love you, Jode.
- I'm 39 and three-quarters.
[BEEPING.]
No, no, no, no! Unsend my text! Unsend my text! Come on.
- I want down.
- Okay.
Um, so, uh, okay, where were we? You're in the exact same place you were hours ago when we started this thing.
Okay.
Right.
So LUKE: Mommy, look at this cool drawing I made of a falcon! Just give me five minutes, okay? It's a crisis.
Like climate change? Yeah.
Just like it, except it's gonna affect me.
Can I get a car, to and from the set? Yes.
Absolutely.
- JULIA: Mommy! - Um - [DOG BARKS.]
- When should Donna pick you up? Okay.
[LEAF BLOWER WHIRRING.]
Mary, I'll be right there! Mr.
Falcone, shut your blower! I can't believe this day.
There we go.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Okay.
So, when should, um, Donna She hung up.
- What? - She hung up.
Can you just get that bum-fire cooking idiot back? MARY: Still here.
Just turned off my camera.
Ohhh.
That's how that works.
Maybe we'll see a Yellow Rump Warbler at the park.
They feed on fruits like berries and figs, though figs are not really fruit because they're pollinated by wasps that can be found dead inside them.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know what? Who's excited to go to the park? I might even get out of the car.
Gloria, what are you doing back so soon? Soon? It's 5:00.
It is? Already? How is that possible? Did you get all your work done? I did.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.
I have time to spare, too.
[ EXPLOSION.]
AMY: Hi, you guys.
I've had the worst day.
Ohh.
Okay, so Lila shouldn't be using a grown-up fork, 'cause she could, you know, poke herself or worse.
Oh, crap.
Really? Well, I guess butter knives are a no.
Look at you, being a mother and knowing what's dangerous for kids.
It is impressive, babe.
- Where did all this food come from? - Meal train.
You know, the women from our church.
Henry, we have to join a church before I drop dead.
Yeah, working on it.
Hey, Bri, we got any of that breadcrumb mac n' cheese this week? Yeah, behind the chili, next to the beef stew we had last night.
Oh, yeah.
How often do you come here to eat? My friend needs me right now.
- [GROANS.]
- I'm here for you, buddy.
No matter how many entrées it takes.
Dan can't make it.
Ocular migraine.
Yes! I am on a Dan excuse-not-to-see-us roll.
I had "Stuck in Atlanta due to weather.
" Oh, I got tapeworm.
I'll write you a check, Brian.
JODIE: [WHISPERING.]
Hey.
Should we be on the meal train? Why? We don't want to have sex with Brian.
And we're like family.
We don't have to do nice stuff like that.
Yeah.
You guys can go smell Coleen's clothes.
I know you smell Coleen's clothes.
Okay.
Wait, let me just wipe her face off first.
Wow, look at you being so loving.
I can be tender.
- Ah.
- Move.
Here you go.
Jodie: She looks so much like Coleen.
AMY: Yeah, especially with food all over her face.
Good girl.
JODIE: Lavender, diaper cream, and the food court.
I hated that lavender spray.
Here, g give it to me.
I wanna smell it.
Yes! I knew this was in here somewhere.
- Ah! That's great.
- Oh, candy.
Nope.
I can't.
I plateaued.
It's cancer pot.
It's a psychoactive cannabinoid.
It's a hallucinogenic.
It'll stay in your system for days.
Yeah, that's what the package promises.
I had a bad day.
Oh, did you expect to like the park? You know, we don't go for ourselves.
It never happened.
I got caught up with a work thing and then let the kids down.
Guys, I tried to juggle.
I thought it would be easy, like texting and driving.
Amy, will you try to text me? I think my phone is broken.
I'm not getting anything.
Who are you waiting to get a text from? Everyone you like is here.
[GASPS, CHUCKLES.]
Is it that trainer? [LAUGHING.]
It is! You guys, I texted him at 4:00.
No response.
Well, maybe yearbook committee ran late tonight.
No, no, it's probably just he can't be on his screens 'til his homework is done.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Hey.
Do not text him.
Do not.
- No.
No.
No! - Do I need to take your phone? No! I promise.
I'm having a cannabinoid.
Because I'm fun.
- Since when? - Diana came into Fields today.
She called me not fun, so I'm gonna be fun, just to spite her.
She came into Fields? What? It was bound to happen.
They have the best coffee.
Oh, I know.
She bought a pound of it.
Hazelnut, with my credit card.
- She still has your credit card? - Yeah.
She has it in my house, actually, with my furniture and my stationary bike.
You remind me of the tree character in that book, "The Giving Tree", where you just keep letting her take and take and take until there's what, not a lot left? I-I didn't finish the book.
It's like 12 pages.
AMY: I'm a recently working mother.
You know what? I should have taken the tree.
Remember the one Coleen planted when we when I bought the house? Yes.
[GASPS.]
Diana's at work.
Oh, we could go there.
We could just take it.
At 6:12, on a school night? Mm.
Well, what would I do with it? She has my lawn.
We give it to Brian and Lila.
It would provide fruit and shade for years to come.
It would be our contribution to the meal train.
- Yes! - Yeah.
Okay.
I'm in.
You're in.
Yes.
You're driving.
I can't.
I ate a gummy.
I shouldn't have held it.
TOGETHER: Brian! - Brian, you're driving too fast.
- This is fast? - What's the plan? - Get the fig tree.
- Shh! - Shh-shh-shh-shh-shh! Have to hurry, and be quiet! Quiet! - Keep the engine running.
- Shh! Okay.
Shh! I'm not gonna see my bed tonight.
- Good thing I brought brisket.
- Ooh.
Oh.
Guys, I don't want to toot my own horn, but I'm really good at this.
I always told Henry that they'd never find his body, and now I actually believe it.
[CHUCKLING.]
Oh.
My heart is racing so fast.
What if I'm having a heart attack? I have to text Matt, say goodbye.
- You had one gummy.
- I had two.
- They were stuck together.
- Amy.
This fig has a face.
[LAUGHING.]
Okay, you know what? No.
This isn't fair.
I was pounding those gummies.
- You had, like, two each.
- Three! I found one smushed to my elbow.
- Woo! - I feel nothing.
C'mere.
Psst-psst.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
Over here! Don't be scared.
I don't bite.
- I get bit.
- Huh? There you go.
Focus.
Jeez, settle down.
FIG: You two.
You two ladies.
Wait a minute.
Are you buzzed? [LAUGHING.]
- Coleen? - Coleen? No, no, no.
I'm a fig.
What's wrong with you? What's wrong with me? You're a talking fig.
So what? You let your son down.
He'll be fine.
The park will be there tomorrow, unless they finally take that poison groundwater thing seriously.
What if he's not fine? What if he grows up to be one of those people that talks to strangers on planes? Then that's my fault.
- Who's she talking to? - Mm-mm.
You're feisty.
Ooh, and cute.
You ever get figgy with it? No.
What? How would that even work? Only one way to find out, toots.
- Ugh.
- Who are you talking to? This creep.
- Oh, that's the fig with a face.
- And the dirty mouth.
Mm-mm-mm.
We're done.
Hey, Jodie, who are you texting? - Jodie.
What did I say? - - - Better not be the cops.
Okay, who texts the cops? - Jodie, give it to me.
- - No, I'm just, um - Jodie.
- - I'm just e-mailing moms from the school.
- Jodie! - Lice is going around! Don't come near me! Stay away! - Give it to me! - Stay away! Are you trying to get lice on me? Stay away! - Jodie, no! - Is it contagious? Jodie! No! Get the lice! Give it to me! Give it to me! Sheila Marcholi's brisket's even better at room temp.
Hey, man, these ladies must have really loved Col.
They've just been so brave.
One did my laundry.
Another one was mowing my lawn this morning.
She even brought her own mower so she wouldn't bother me.
It was really nice.
They're not being nice.
They want a piece of that.
No.
No, dude.
You're wrong, okay? They know that I'm a grieving man.
There's nothing sexier than a man sloppy crying at his wife's funeral.
See this? This is "I want you" rice.
Okay, that's basmati.
And enjoy it, because the meal train, it ends here.
What are you talking about? You're joking, right? Don't derail this train now.
We're eating like kings.
Okay.
You're right.
Yeah.
Pass me Mrs.
Ragusa's rice pudding.
She's a grandma.
That's gotta be safe.
Back on the train.
Ahh.
All right.
Is that cinnamon swirl in the shape of a Mrs.
Ragusa.
Is Mr.
Ragusa in the picture? It's his mower! [BOTH LAUGH.]
- AMY: Give me the phone, Jodie.
- JODIE: It's fine.
- I need it.
- Oh, come on! - Jodie! - Guys, guys! Shh, shh, shh! - Oh! Oh! Oop! - Ahh.
Guys, guys, if I get caught for trespassing, I'll lose my medical license.
Who cares? You're not a doctor anymore.
- Oh, yeah.
- [ALL LAUGHING.]
I went to med school for eight years, and now I bag groceries with a 15-year-old who has braces.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You threw away a really good career.
Really good career.
But I'm having fun.
Hey, you know what's even better? Raise it up.
Up top.
Up top.
You are being fun.
Hmm? The word "fun" is weird.
- Fun.
- Fun.
- Fun.
- Fun.
- Fun.
- There we go.
- Fun.
- No, no, no, no! Yes! Yes, yes.
Oh, guys.
You just made me kill pervy fig.
- Fine.
I texted him.
- [SIGHS.]
I'm weak, okay? It's not like that's news.
No, don't beat yourself up.
High school relationships are tough to navigate at 40.
- I am 39 and 3/4.
- I'm not even a good cashier.
[ALL LAUGHING.]
Oh, yeah.
That's a great hug for you guys.
I'm happy that you're having a hug.
All right.
Off you go.
LUKE: Maybe we'll see a Yellow Rump Warbler at the park.
They feed on fruits like berries and figs, though figs are not really fruit, because they're pollinated by wasps that can be found dead inside them.
[GASPS.]
I was listening.
I am a good mom.
Oh, Luke is gonna love this.
[GAGS.]
Okay.
Okay.
I'm still having fun.
All right, we gave it a good shot.
- That's it.
Let's go.
- Wait! We can't just leave without the tree.
I did not stay out past 7:00 on a school night for nothing! - What just happened? - Dude.
I am really high or really strong.
I'm going with really strong.
Amy, can I text Matt and tell him I used my core strength? You can do anything you want.
I'm terrified of you right now.
- - On second thought, I'm a strong woman.
- I don't need his approval.
- Hmm.
Okay.
I can't I can't - Okay.
Good.
That's good, that's good.
- [GRUNTS.]
And I'm done.
I'm done.
You actually dug a tree out of the ground.
Yeah.
No one would find my body.
Told you.
Brian, this is for you and Lila.
Col planted it, and it can provide fruit and shade for years to come.
Wow.
That's really nice.
Let's get a picture.
Come on, you guys.
We should probably go.
I want Lila.
- Look at the shovel I got us.
- That's great.
And this is so much better.
Guys, get tight.
- So good.
It's so good.
- You're so sweet when you're asleep.
Wait, Li Hey, Lila.
Someone's here.
Oh.
Oh.
I haven't seen her in a bit.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
Sarah, what the hell? I ate a cannabinoid and I took my tree back.
You know why? 'Cause it turns out, I'm fun.
[LAUGHING.]
Oh, shh, she's gonna see you.
Let's go.
I can see you.
- Shh! - Just grabbing the tree.
- Dianaaaa.
- Seriously? Goodnight.
Hey.
Look at hrhhh look at what I got for Like.
- That's disgusting.
- Yeah.
- He'll love it.
- I know.
Look at you, knowing what our son will love.
Yeah.
Oh, it's Diana, "checking in" again.
Well, maybe she saw a glimpse of fun Sarah and wants you back.
No, if she wanted that, she wouldn't text me four times in one night.
See, now, I think getting as many as eight texts within an hour is hot.
It's a huge turnoff.
- Not always.
- Always.
- Not everyone - Everyone.
I'm not here I'm just getting a vat of coffee and then I'm taking my kids to the park.
You can sit with us for two minutes.
I'll put two tables together.
Whoa.
Okay.
Oh, wow.
Psst-psst.
Good morning, sleepyhead.
Sarah, um, how long does a cannabinoid stay in one's system? Huh.