Platonic (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Baby, you made partner.
They say you don't feel like a partner
until you've been to the retreat.
Oh. I've never heard that before.
Well, I just made it up, but I can
do that now because I'm a partner.
[SIGHS] The power emanating from you
is really turning me on.
- Yeah, it's turning me on too.
- Yeah.
Hey, uh, why don't you get my lanyard?
- Ooh, your lanyard.
- Mmm.
Thank you.
- [CLICKS TONGUE] Ooh, there it is.
- Wow.
[SIGHS] Look at that. You got a QR code.
I gotta scan that QR code
for the full schedule.
- Oh, yeah. I'm gonna scan your ass.
- [CHUCKLES]
Oh, wow. [SIGHS]
Is this everything you ever dreamed of?
Yes, but even blander,
if that's possible.
- Sylvia. Oh, my God.
- Oh, hi. Hey, Stewart, nice to see you.
[CHUCKLES] I'm so glad you're here.
It's gonna be so much less boring.
Aw, you're so sweet.
Well, we're very excited
for our staycation,
and me for my front-row seat
of the partners' orgy.
- The orgy is supposed to be a secret.
- My bad.
Oh. Cheese platter, hello.
May I recommend
the florescent green cubes?
- They taste like nothing.
- Mmm.
[SIGHS] Frank Schaeffer,
his speeches are endless.
I think he founded the firm so he can
hold us all hostage
with his golf stories.
Oh, my God. That guy.
I've met him a dozen times.
He never remembers my name. Not once.
Never remembers anybody's name.
It's one of the perks
of being successful.
I cannot wait to be successful enough
that I don't have to remember the names.
Hey, hey, hey.
Welcome to the show, newbie. [LAUGHS]
- Hey. [LAUGHS]
- Yeah. Hey, newbie. [LAUGHING]
[LAUGHING] Congratulations, partner.
That was a cowboy accent.
Oh, and a fine one at that.
- Oh. [CHUCKLES]
- Sylvia, you're from Australia.
What do you know about cowboys?
Oh, hey, did you guys hear
that Milton got taken off Dupont?
- What?
- Wait, Milton was running point
- on everything to do with Suarez.
- Mmm, he was.
Not anymore. [CHUCKLES]
Sorry, we're gonna have to
take this from the top.
Who's in charge? I've done wh
A ton of work on Dupont.
Okay, it was a mandatory
withdrawal, first of all.
- But then trail Yes.
- Mandatory withdrawal?
- Hi, I'm Marjorie, Albert's wife.
- Oh, hi.
Greg, Dan's husband.
- Oh, nice to meet you. [CHUCKLES]
- Nice to meet you.
Sylvia. I'm Charlie's wife.
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- [MARJORIE] Mmm.
[SIGHS] Mm-hmm.
Mmm.
[ALBERT] It's a disaster.
- [ALBERT] It's the event trial right now.
- [RACHEL] Relax.
- Gentlemen, playing through. [LAUGHING]
- Oh, hey, Frank. How's the speech coming?
- [TASMIN] how's it coming?
- Oh, slow.
We're gonna have to skip
all the afternoon sessions
to finish the damn thing. But who cares?
It's a bunch of lawyers just waiting
to get to the bar. Am I right?
Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, it's okay.
It's probably for the best. [STAMMERS]
Frank Schaeffer.
Sylvia Grieves. Yeah.
We've actually met before a few times.
Oh, forgive me. I'm terrible with names.
[LAUGHS]
No, I'm just giving you a hard time.
Just kidding. [LAUGHS] Nice to see you.
- Prosecco?
- Yes.
Wait a minute.
Did you use to work at Mezzaluna?
Three years ago.
Wait. Kenneth from Ohio.
- Yes. Oh, my God.
- [CHUCKLES]
Am I right? Am I right?
It's a gift. All right, let's drink.
[RINGING]
[GRUNTS]
[SIGHS]
[SIGHS]
[GRUNTS]
So I'm at my aunt's apartment
with my cousins,
and my aunt's cooking dinner.
My favorite kind of dinner.
Seven-layer dip.
And guess who walks in?
I don't think you're ever gonna guess,
'cause you don't know him.
Then he's like, "Just because we haven't
seen each other since high school,
doesn't mean we're not friends anymore."
I'm like, "Were we
friends in high school?"
Because he used to throw
chicken sandwiches at my head.
And it was public school,
so the chicken was hard as fuck.
[SIGHS, SNIFFS]
So, we're at his place,
and his little brother is all like,
"Don't touch my Xbox."
And I'm like, "I don't even
play Xbox anymore, little man."
You feel me?
Like, I-I put aside childish things.
I play I play adult games
like Settlers of Catan.
- You ever played that?
- No.
It's actually just called "Catan" now,
not "Settlers of Catan,"
because of the implications of
settler colonialism.
And the 7-Eleven was literally closed.
I didn't even know it could close.
Isn't that supposed
to be a 24-hour place?
You know, like seven
days a week. Seven till 11?
Ow! Fucking shit!
Ah, shit, man. That looked like it hurt.
- It did. [GRUNTING]
- Anyway, where was I?
Yeah, the seven is for seven
days a week, but the 11 is
It's 11 Ugh. Eleven, um
When it closes, man.
Oh, 11:00 p.m.
- Yes.
- Damn.
You know, I used to steal
from 7-Eleven all the time,
but I didn't have to, I had the money.
You know,
I'm like a normal blue-collar guy.
You know, I like spicy stuff
as much as the next guy.
But, uh But have you ever
had Doritos for the damned?
Fuck.
Oh, you know you have to
sterilize that now, right?
I know.
[SIGHS] Man, we work in a bar.
How dope is that?
It's pretty dope, Omar.
Yo, did you, uh, print out that W-4?
Um, no, actually the
printer here is broken.
Okay. You ain't got
a printer at your house?
I don't. My wife got
the printer in the divorce,
so thanks for bringing up
that very, very, very painful memory.
- I really appreciate that.
- What up, boys?
Hey, yo, I got something
to float by you guys.
- Uh, a possible collab for us.
- A collab?
What do you think of Johnny 66?
Johnny 66 Oh, that's
the restaurant chain, right?
- Yeah, it's like a fast-casual place.
- Yeah, it's super cheesy, terrible.
[SINGSONGY] I don't know,
but there's a lot of them.
Ooh, well, just 'cause there's a lot of
something, it does not mean it's good.
That's a good lesson for you.
There's a lot of serial killers.
Serial killers are not good.
- Are there that many serial killers?
- I think there is a lot of serial killers.
My grandma used to live next to
the Golden State killer.
- There you go.
- [ANDY] That's crazy.
They used to bring each other
banana bread and shit.
There's more television shows
about serial killers
than there's actually serial killers.
I really hope that's true,
'cause if it's not,
Ice-T alone has conservatively caught
25,000 serial killers just in New York.
- [ANDY] That's a lot of serial killers.
- Guys, let me talk, guys.
- Please talk.
- I fucking met the CEO of Johnny 66,
and guess what?
He's interested in licensing our beer.
You're welcome.
And he's coming in tonight to try it.
Let's fucking close this shit.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
I don't think that is, like,
really what is representative
of who we are necessarily.
Which is what again?
Which is creating an incredibly
high-quality product using integrity,
and then selling that product
to people on Hinge dates
and, like, pretty well-to-do alcoholics.
Well, I think Johnny 66
is a dope-ass idea.
And if he likes our beer,
we make freaking bank, bro.
We should do it.
I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
Well, overruled.
It's not really up to you, man.
Uh, well, it is up to me,
'cause I'm the brewmaster.
Well, I'm the money master
and this is my bar. So [LAUGHS]
Money master, uh, is not a thing.
And me and Andy
each own a quarter of this place.
Yeah, no. Yeah, you're right.
You each own 24.5%
which together equals f
Forty-nine.
Thank you. Forty-nine percent.
A minority stake, you fucking idiot.
I'm the one who works
their fucking ass off
to make this place what it is.
Yeah, you did that with my money, bro.
And you did a great job, William.
Congratulations.
Look at all the attention we're getting.
And now we can make even more money.
I mean, that's what
life's about, right, boys?
I mean, think about it,
it's about progression,
it's about moving up.
It's about generational wealth.
When you're playing Call of Duty,
do you sit on rookie level
the entire time?
Absolutely fucking not.
You move up, you go to elite.
And then after elite, you go
where Johnny 66 with an association of
Lucky Penny Brewing is gonna go.
You go to legendary.
I don't know what the fuck
any of that means
because I'm over 12 years old.
Will you tell this
mustachioed little fucking twerp
that I'm not collabing
with a fascist burger chain?
You know what?
I gotta go to the back and clean up
because it's a little messy
making you guys money
while you stand here
in your fucking vest.
I didn't get your name. I'm Will.
Those are fucking cool.
Are those Balmain?
- Yo, she's with me.
- Yeah, no fucking kidding.
I don't know anything about you at all.
I guarantee you can do better.
Will, wait.
I spent the last four months
in Des Moines working on a case.
I gotta say, Des Moines,
surprisingly robust gay scene.
- Mmm.
- Most of them work at Applebee's.
I love Applebee's.
She loves Applebee's.
Who doesn't love Applebee's?
I'm still in touch with Duane.
Hey, what are you doing here?
This retreat's for partners.
[CHEERS, LAUGHS]
Mmm, Vanessa, hey.
- Plus, I get Sylvia.
- [SYLVIA] Oh.
Oh, hi, Vanessa. Oh, my goodness.
Look at the four of us.
It's like a 20-year reunion
at Kaplan-Meyer summer associates.
So, you made partner too.
That's amazing. Congratulations.
Thanks. Still not anywhere close
to the equity I deserve,
- but that is a lawsuit for another day.
- [CHUCKLES]
Wow, you are a trooper
for coming to this with Charlie.
Oh, no, I'm not here
to hang out with Charlie.
I'm just here for the free hotel room
and a night away from the kids.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, I hear that. [LAUGHS]
Speaking of which,
how are Frances, Simon, and Maeve?
- Nailed it.
- Mommies always do.
I know, Mommy power.
That's it. Mommy power.
I forgot how funny you are.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Ah, Mommy power.
But they're good. Thank you for asking.
Yeah. Yeah, three's a lot.
Yeah, well, color me terrified then,
'cause I just had my fourth. [CHUCKLES]
- What?
- Yep.
[STAMMERS] But, did you
Anyway, I'm gonna go.
I will see you and you later, partners.
And Mama, I want you to have a wonderful
- day and take care of yourself, okay?
- You're the best.
Vanessa, can we put our
heads together for a sec?
[VANESSA] Give me a second.
Mommy power. I've gotta [LAUGHING]
[ELEVATOR DINGS]
So, Vanessa made partner.
- Mmm, yeah.
- Did I know that?
Um, I don't know. Did you?
I don't think I did.
No, I definitely didn't.
Why didn't you tell me?
Uh, I don't know,
it didn't seem that important.
Lots of people make partner.
I guess it just slipped my mind.
[SCOFFS] It slipped your mind?
What do you want me to say?
She works hard,
she's been at the firm for a long time.
When you do those things,
at a certain point you make partner.
Yeah, but Vanessa is different.
We went to law school together,
we clerked together.
And you know how I feel about her.
It's like she represents
everything that I could have been.
Babe, I I hear you. I-I really do.
But she's not living some magical life.
You know, she probably envies you.
She's probably saying things
to her husband about you.
Like what?
I I d I don't know.
I'm not in their conversations.
Maybe about you buying
the house, fixing it up,
and being, you know, like, creative.
You don't believe that.
It sounds like a lot
more fun than arguing
about a legal contract for five hours
around a conference table
where you can't cross your legs
because there are so many AV wires.
Uh, you know what? I'm sorry, babe.
I It's not a big deal, right.
This weekend is about you,
and I'm I'm so proud of you.
I just want you to enjoy yourself
and en-enjoy the AV wires.
[CHUCKLES] Thank you.
And you enjoy your afternoon.
And I'll see you at
the reception tonight.
- Okay. Love you.
- Love you.
[TASMIN] Did you hear Milton
got taken off of Dupont?
[LAWYER] Wait, what?
- I thought the Suarez case was his thing.
- Used to be.
- Wow.
- Oh, Paul with the printer.
- [PAUL] Hey, hey.
- Yes! [LAUGHS]
They told me there were plugs up here
so I figured I'd I'd bring it up.
Yeah, might as well.
Whoo-hoo! Problem solved!
[TASMIN] Did you bring a laptop cord?
[PAUL] Uh, no. Where are my nachos?
I ordered nachos.
- [TASMIN] How'd you order 'em?
- [PAUL] Fully loaded.
[TASMIN] That's what I thought.
Oh, sorry.
Uh, sorry. [SIGHS]
All rise.
[JUDGE]
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
[ANNOUNCER 1] This
court now sentences you
to two and a half years in the Clark
[ANNOUNCER 2] Next on Courtroom Live,
a mother of three sues her alma mater
when career opportunities th
[SIGHS]
[MILTON, MUFFLED] You can't
just take me off Dupont,
I brought that case in.
I'm not just some associate,
I'm a partner. I'm a partner!
[SIGHS]
I don't see what the problem is.
My kids and I love Johnny 66.
That does not make
me feel better at all.
Well, it's not meant
to make you feel better.
- It's meant to make our kids feel better.
- Why did we meet here?
This is the lamest part of downtown.
You know, I was just really hungry.
And I also have this desire
to be surrounded by classic cars
and old American nostalgia
from when this country
was a better place.
I found a way to reconcile
those two desires. Look.
Oh no, not here.
No, no, no, no, I'm not going.
No, there's so many better places
to eat around here.
- Don't be a square. Come on. Come on.
- Oh, come on, don't do that.
I can't be seen
going into a place like this.
- [SYLVIA] Mmm?
- [WILL] Mmm.
- Hello.
- Hi.
[CHUCKLES] Uh, table for two, please.
Oh, well, your pit crew will have your
table ready in one minute and counting.
- [CHUCKLES] Huh? [LAUGHING]
- All right, thank you.
The fact that you like this place
- is the most unknowable thing about you.
- Oh, I love this place.
Now, why do we have
Rosa Parks on the wall
next to three girls drinking milkshakes,
above a car Adolf Hitler designed?
It's your country. You explain it.
Least she's at the front
of the restaurant.
[CHUCKLES] Who's this fucking guy?
Oh, you know who that is?
That's the founder and visionary
of Johnny 66.
- It's Johnny Rev.
- That's not a real name.
If it was, that would
be truly miraculous.
He is actually a very interesting guy.
He's very smart.
I heard him interviewed on NPR.
They consider him a disrupter.
Look he's, uh, disrupting people's
buttholes after they
eat his onion rings.
[SYLVIA] Listen,
you could learn from him.
[WILL] What? How to become a hybrid
of a human and a tanning bed?
How to run a beloved
and successful business.
Honestly, this place fucking sucks,
and I want nothing
to do with it. [GASPS]
That was cool.
- Follow me.
- Thank you, I love your hair.
- [CHUCKLES] Oh, they make me do this.
- That's great.
[GASPS] Merch.
[WILL] Do people actually buy this shit?
Ah, just have a little look.
[SIGHS] How many
doo-wop songs are there?
You know, if you
listen to the words carefully,
every single one of them is about
having sex with an underage girl.
It's a disgusting genre.
I'm so bummed they didn't have
the mozzarella stick shifts.
They're so good.
You would've loved them.
The beer The beer is garbage.
You should try a fender blender.
They're very strong.
What's in there?
Everything that's in a piña colada.
- So it's a piña colada?
- No, it's a fender blender.
- That's good branding.
- You want to get one?
- I'm okay, I'm Thank you.
- Come on.
[CAR HORN BEEPS]
Happy birthday ♪
Happy, happy, birthday ♪
Happy birthday ♪
Happy, happy birthday ♪
Happy birthday ♪
Happy, happy, birthday ♪
Happy birthday ♪
Happy, happy, birthday to you ♪
- Vroom, vroom. Happy birthday, Daddy-o.
- Thank you.
- Love you, baby doll!
- Not my birthday.
- Not my birthday.
- Thanks, guys. He's lying.
- You proud of yourself?
- Happy birthday.
You know my wish? That a meteorite
kills us all, right now.
[LAUGHING]
I'll give it to Johnny Rev,
which I assume is short
for "Johnathan Revolution."
These are delicious, and these booths
are very fun to sit in.
- See?
- And the food is pretty fucking good.
- Mmm, somebody changing their mind?
- No, not at all.
I-I'm confused.
Isn't the point of starting a brewery
just to sell a lot of beer?
The point is to sell good beer,
which we are doing.
And I'm very happy
with our level of success,
and I have no interest
in selling out to,
like, a giant corporate conglomerate.
That's a little bit illogical. Come on.
Like, you're just gonna be
making beer and selling beer
and probably make a lot of money.
- And
- Why is everyone so obsessed with money?
Whoa. Take it easy.
Back up, Alexandria Cortazio-Cortez.
Not even almost her name.
I don't think you got
I think you got one out of three right.
Okay. Wha What's really going on?
- I'm gonna be honest with you.
- Mmm.
- I am cool.
- Mmm.
I'm I'm a cool.
- I'm in the cool category.
- "A cool"?
- I'm a cool guy.
- Singular?
This place?
Not fucking cool. It's uncool.
And if you're like me,
that is terrifying. Okay?
- You gotta stay cool. Gotta stay cool.
- I gotta stay cool.
I can't not be cool.
Nobody is saying that you're not cool.
This place would be saying I'm not cool.
Nobody's saying you're not cool.
I'm just suggesting that maybe
at this point in our lives
when we're at this age, that maybe
we should focus less on being cool
and more on acting our age.
Well, that was spoken
like a true lamazoid.
I just can't be a corporate sellout.
Well, you gotta go tell Andy.
He went to business school.
I don't know what to say.
I'm a lawyer. I'll come with you.
We'll sort it out.
- I'll come with you.
- Oh, thank you.
[SNICKERS] You guys look fucking insane.
Yeah, and I'll tell you why.
We were at Johnny 66.
We had a great time.
The cake was good,
and it came in a little car,
but other than that
it fucking sucks there,
and we cannot have this guy
coming here tonight,
trying all of our delicious beers
and making us an offer we can't refuse.
I think we should serve
our beers at Johnny 66.
Yeah, I want to completely sell out
and make money.
Are you kidding me, man?
Have you been inside of a Johnny 66?
I have. It's not good.
There was a painting on the wall
of Martin Luther King
on a surfboard with Fred Flintstone,
and even in the painting
Martin Luther King was like, "Really?"
Whatever. Whatever. I googled them,
and there's a fuck ton of them.
Meaning we can make a lot of money.
You know, what makes me sad at night is
how obsessed with "money" everyone is.
Well, we live in America.
- Right. It's a capitalist society.
- With money, you can buy a car.
Or it gets you a printer for your house,
so you can get me that fucking W-4
I've been asking for.
- I know the things money does.
- You know what I think?
You don't want this deal
to work out because it came from Reggie,
and you fucking hate Reggie
because he's Audrey's brother.
And you're clearly not over
your goddamn divorce
so you're gonna tank every idea he has,
- even if it's a fucking good one.
- That's actually very insightful.
- This is about the divorce, and
- Don't start fucking therapizing me.
- Go Go open a practice together.
- Fuck, maybe we should. Maybe we should.
I bet you I'd make more money there
than I do in this fucking place.
Look, I'm just
saying it wouldn't kill us
to get a little more liquid. That's all.
All I know is that this place is
always full, and we're both doing fine.
[SIGHS] Fuck fine. I want more
than fine. Goddamn it. You know this.
I wanna be married, bro.
I wanna start a family, do family shit.
You just think you want that. You don't
actually fucking want that. You're fine.
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere.
- [SYLVIA] Will?
- Yeah.
You're spilling the beer.
I know I am. Can't serve beer
if there is no beer.
Hey, what are you doing?
Hey, Omar. Will you help me,
uh, empty this tank over here?
- Oh, yeah.
- Thank you.
The-These tanks look like
- they hold a-a lot of beer.
- They do.
And that's a very small hose,
and there's a lot of tanks in here.
But it is a largely symbolic gesture.
Well, and there's also some
cans of beer behind you.
Those are cider, not beer.
But I can empty those too.
Yeah. You'd like the cider.
Ladies love cider.
- [ANDY] Dude, Will.
- I do like cider.
- I'm Sylvia.
- Will, what the fuck are you doing, bro?
- [WILL] Hey.
- Goddamn it! What the Stop it.
Gimme the fucking Don't
- Ah! Stop it!
- [SYLVIA SCREAMS]
- [WILL] No! I won't stop. No!
- [ANDY] Hey. Gimme the hose.
- Get outta here.
- [WILL] No! Fuck you.
[GRUNTS] It's in my eyes, you dick!
What are you doing?
I will not go down without a fight!
[PANTS] What you said
about Audrey is not true, okay?
Yeah, I've moved on from that.
I've resolved that
situation emotionally.
I even got my stuff out
of her place, okay?
This has to do with
the fact that I hate Reggie,
and I do not hate him because
he is Audrey's stepbrother!
I hate him because he's
a fucking piece of shit!
- Goodbye.
- [SIGHS]
Dick!
Am I gonna have to clean this up?
Because it seems like
it shouldn't be my job.
Motherfucker,
we both have to clean this up.
It's only four people that work in here.
Yo. Hey.
- Hey.
- Hey.
- You okay?
- Yeah, it's fine.
It's just work shit.
That's our normal, everyday dynamic.
And I think it's quite healthy actually.
[SCOFFS] I ca [STAMMERS]
I've never seen anything like that.
That's, like, the biggest argument
I've ever seen. Wow.
Oh. I'm proud of where
we've gotten, to be honest.
It used to be much worse.
Uh, what are you doing now?
Do you wanna hang out?
Uh, yeah. [STAMMERS]
I'm Uh, no, I can't.
I gotta go back to the Omni.
You're staying at the Omni?
You cashing in on Air Miles
for a sexy weekend? [CHUCKLES]
[CHUCKLES] Charlie's got
a work reception there.
I actually have to meet him
in 20 minutes. I'm late.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
I haven't seen Charlie in forever.
I love that guy.
I would love to see Charlie.
- Really?
- I mean, unless you don't want me to come.
No. You really want to come?
Yeah. Thanks. [STAMMERS]
I got nothing going on.
Okay. Well [STAMMERS]
I can't get a Lyft.
It's, like, 25 minutes away.
Oh, yeah. Lyfts are too scared
to come to this neighborhood.
- Oh.
- We'll take a scooter.
- Okay. Yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh. Never been on one of these before.
Oh, yeah? Use that one. My treat.
Ugh. It's got a lot of
bird poop on that one.
Sure does. Oh, this one's busted.
Whoa!
[WILL GRUNTS]
[SYLVIA] Why?
Why do people do anything?
It's a complicated question.
[PHONE BEEPING]
Do you think this is a good idea
if you've had a few drinks?
I think they invented these
for people who had a few drinks.
You like the beer?
No. Terrible.
- [CHUCKLES] You want another one?
- 'Course.
[GRUNTS]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. What's happening?
- Toss 'em.
It's part of their terms of service.
- They want you to do it.
- Oh.
- [GRUNTS]
- Get down!
- Okay. Yeah!
- Get it!
I'm just gonna go up to the room and get
changed, so just wait for me down here.
- Okay. Yeah. No problem.
- Okay.
Hey, there's Charlie.
Hey, Charlie. What's up, man?
N-N-No. I've gotta take off
these clothes. What are you doing?
It's too late. He's coming over.
- Oh. Surprised. Did not expect to see you.
- Hi. Look at you.
You look beautiful, sir.
And even firmer than last time,
and you were firm as fuck, my friend.
Oh, thank you.
Uh, you-you look great too.
Oh, that's not true.
I look bad. I've had a rough year.
- Hi. I'm Stewart.
- Oh. Will. Nice to meet you.
[CHUCKLES] We all used to work together,
like, a hundred years ago.
- [WILL] Cool.
- Y-You You two look festive.
Actually, he looks a lot better than
what he did at the beginning of the day.
You should have seen his outfit.
Oh, my God.
He looked insane. No offense.
Oh, I'd be offended
if you did like how I dress.
You look like you
live in Ann Taylor Loft.
[CHUCKLES]
Hmm. I love Ann Taylor.
They have great styling.
They do. Very beige. [CHUCKLES]
Okay, Sylvia. We get it. You got
a hot bod. Cease and desist. [LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
Hey. Vanessa. I'm a partner
at the same firm as Charlie.
- Oh. I'm Will. Congratulations.
- [VANESSA] Thank you.
Uh, I'm not a lawyer,
but, um, good for you. Yeah.
So, Sylvia,
what'd you get up to with your day while
we were stuck in an
M&A strategy session?
- [WILL] Oh.
- Little spa time for Mama?
[CHUCKLING]
Did Mama have some spa time?
- You saw I made the funny one laugh?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, I'm not a clown.
- Mm-hmm.
Charlie, you free for dinner
after my speech?
The Winer and Finling people and I
are going to The Palm for surf and turf.
- Oh, um
- I'm going.
You should definitely go.
Oh, darling, can I get
a-a Johnnie Walker on the rocks, please?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm I'm not a waitress here.
Oh. My mistake.
I'm I'm Frank Schaeffer.
I know. I've met you like 200 times.
Oh. [CHUCKLES] That's my speech.
[CHUCKLES] How about we play
a little game?
I give you your speech back
if you can remember my
name in three guesses.
[CHARLIE CHUCKLES] Okay.
- Uh, sweetie. I
- Nobody hints. No hints. No hints.
I remember. You're Charlie's wife.
No. Not a name.
"Charlie's wife" is not a name.
- Was that a guess?
- You have two more guesses left.
[CHUCKLES] It's like Rumpelstiltskin
but very awkward.
- [CHARLIE] Okay, sweetie. I
- It's very funny. Very, very funny.
But I know your name. It's Marni.
Nope. Cool name. I could
be a Marni. Not my name.
So you have one guess left.
All right, we've had our fun.
Let me take my speech back
'cause I'm gonna need it.
- Nope. You have one more guess.
- All right.
- Um
- [MOUTHING] Sylvia.
- Hey, no hints.
- [CHUCKLES]
I remember your name.
Cynthia.
- Nope. It's Sylvia.
- [STEWART GASPS]
- [VANESSA] Oh.
- Oh, shit. She did it. She fucking did it.
Now you're gonna remember who I am.
That's my speech.
[WILL] She said Sh She said,
"Now you'll remember who I am."
[MUFFLED] Next time
you'll remember my name.
She said next time
you'll remember her name.
- [FRANK] Thank you.
- Okay. All right.
- [GAGS]
- [WILL] Oh.
Get her some
Get her some barbecue sauce.
When I do shrooms, I use barbecue sauce.
[STEWART] Let's get
you a glass of water.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
[CHUCKLES] That was insane.
That's gonna fuck up your tummy.
Where did that come from?
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.
I just lost it. I saw red and
I-I know that Frank is an asshole,
but seriously, that was over the top.
- I know. [SIGHS] I
- I-I This door locked behind us.
- I'm trapped out here with you.
- I see that guy every day.
I have to kiss his ass.
I have to be on his good side.
I have to go
on one of his fishing trips now.
I have avoided them for years,
but now I have to do it.
I hate that weird little lodge.
There are bunk beds.
- I know. I'm sorry.
- And now I have to do it.
Truly, Sylvia, what was that about?
Why didn't you just tell me
that Vanessa was making partner?
Why? I know that didn't
slip your mind, babe.
Because I knew if I told you, you would
do something insane like you just did.
I'm your husband. I'm not blind.
You could have had a career
like Vanessa's but you chose not to.
I chose to watch our children grow up.
And those are precious years. I'm
grateful for that. I'm glad I did it,
but it doesn't mean that it's not hard
for me to come somewhere like this.
I just feel insecure,
and seeing all of these old colleagues
and they're just treating me
like I'm an invisible ghost.
Okay, fine. If you want to
get back into the law, you can.
You just have to find something
that excites you.
Oh, really? I've been out of
the workforce for 13 years.
That's a real asset to an employer.
- It's a key card situation, so
- [CHARLIE] Okay.
I am not saying that there won't be bars
to entry, but you have a law degree.
You are a very good lawyer.
If you want to do it, you can.
But I'm not just a lawyer, Charlie.
I'm also a mom.
I have to pick up my kids at 2:00.
No. Not necessarily true.
There are plenty of rewarding jobs
- that you can do from 9:00 until 2:00.
- Really? Oh.
Why don't you tell your boss
you're gonna do a five-hour workday?
Tell me how that goes.
Hey, guys. Sorry to interrupt,
but Frank's about to give his speech.
You probably don't want to miss that.
[STAMMERS]
- Just Just go.
- [STAMMERS] I-I'm sorry.
- We will We'll discuss later.
- Yes, yes.
[CHARLIE SIGHS]
[STAMMERS] Come on. Go with him.
No. He doesn't want me in there.
He does. Your very, very, very
attractive husband
does want you in there.
Also, you ate that guy's fucking speech.
You got to see what he says.
I kind of know what his speech
is gonna be like in my gut.
- Goddamn! That's solid.
- [LAUGHS]
Even in these dark times,
bringing the heat.
- Thanks, buddy.
- Get in there.
[CARD READER BEEPS]
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.
Fuck. [SIGHS]
[PHONE CHIMES]
[SIGHS]
- Sunday morning. Hmm.
- Hmm. I love fruit.
[SIGHS, WHISPERS] Skaagn.
[GRUNTS]
Do you have a business center?
[SCOOTER WHIRRING]
[GRUNTS]
What is that?
My W-4. You-You've been asking for it.
Okay.
- You know you have to fill it out, right?
- I do. Can I borrow your pen?
- Yes, you can. Here you go.
- Thank you.
- What is my, uh, federal tax ID number?
- You should probably know that.
Yeah. I don't know that.
My mom has all that information. [SIGHS]
I love your mom.
What are we serving the Johnny 66 guy?
Um, probably everything.
- That cool with you, brewmaster?
- It is.
The jumpsuit.
- Nice, huh?
- Yeah. I'm super into it.
It's super cool.
We should totally sell these.
- Fuck, yeah.
- It's comfortable too.
Hell yeah. It looks comfortable.
It is hard to pee in, but overall, uh,
you know, very, very nice.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
[FRANK] Next year,
we're just, uh, gonna keep
We're gonna keep building
on that bigness, and, uh
Uh, we're gonna expand to a level
that'll be, uh, the next level.
You know, the the arc of the universe
bends to toward, uh
Well, thank you.
[FRANK SIGHS]
Uh, that was a great speech.
Thank you, Sylvia.
- It worked. He remembered my name.
- Yeah.
[CHUCKLES] He just said,
"Thank you, Sylvia."