Plus-Sized Elf (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

1
SPA
Evening Discount
Apparently, there's an ogre who
appears in the sauna at night
An ogre?
It'd be a shame to let these go to waste,
but I'm not sure what to think
First things first, human.
What is a "sauna"?
It's a steam bath!
Easy to loose weight!
Lots of sweat → Metabolism boost!
The idea is that sweating
boosts your metabolism,
which puts your body in a state
where it's easier to lose weight.
Well if it means losing weight,
then I'll give it a shot.
Besides, French fries taste better
after a nice, hot bath.
Doesn't that defeat the purpose?
Plus-Sized Elf
The Sweaty Ogre and
the Turquoise Scales
Wow, seems I've got the place all to myself again.
Now where's this "sauna" thingy?
Oh no Is that the mythical
ass-dumpling monster?!
What are you doing here?
I was just trying to relax
after a hard day's work!
You're the one who should be ashamed
of showing up at a public bathhouse
with that big blubbery belly of yours!
Blubbery bellies have as much of
a right to be here as anyone else!
Then so do dumplings!
I came here to try out the sauna.
I don't have time for your nonsense.
Hey, wait a minute!
I'm here for the sauna, too!
If that's true, then what are you
loafing around out here for?
I-I was enjoying a bath first, that's all
Oh?
Is it the ogre?
Hah, I knew it.
You're scared of the rumors,
aren't you? Chicken.
I'm not scared!
There's the sauna.
C'mon, let's go see
what all the fuss is about.
HOT!
MY FACE IS ON FIRE!
Th-there's no way!
120°?!
It's a literal inferno
This can't be good for the body, can it?
I trust the human's judgment!
Let's do this!
I'M MELTING!
Jeez, shuddup already.
Those horns
You're the ogre!
And you talk too much.
Hurry up and close the door.
You're gonna let the heat out.
It's unbearable with the door closed
Every breath makes my lungs burn
Of all the places to run into elves
What's so funny?!
Nah, it's nothin'.
Just figured it'd be too hot in here
for you wimpy little elves.
For your own safety,
I suggest pacin' yourselves.
Excuse me?!
Do not underestimate us elves!
We can handle a little heat!
Yeah, what she said!
That so?
Then pick a spot and have a seat.
Already way ahead of-
My poor, tender ass!
That was horrible. You tricked us!
Wasn't a trick.
Either wrap a towel 'round
your waist or sit on one
So hot
It's funny, an elf traveling all the way to
an alternate dimension to sit in a sauna?
That's not somethin' you see every day.
You could say the same thing about an ogre.
Sounds like you visit pretty often.
You're the talk of the town.
What?! Now I get it
No wonder I haven't seen
any other customers here lately.
So are your people big fans
of saunas or something?
Eh, we could take 'em or leave 'em.
What us ogres really like is alcohol.
Booze!
Then why spend so much time
hanging out here?
Huh?! I mean it's a free country
Wh-what?
Well, your stomach
Shuddup, shuddup!
I didn't mean for this to happen!
I just keep drinking too much!
Yummy
It's not my fault!
The human world's booze
is too damn delicious!
I see. You've got a point.
No, she doesn't! Have some self-control!
You're letting your vices
take over your lives!
I think now is the perfect time
to practice exercising patience.
A battle of wills? Sounds like fun!
But we might as well sweeten the pot!
How 'bout the winner gets to eat or drink
as much as they want on the loser's dime?
All you can eat
All you can drink
All-you-can-drink
All-you-can-eat
Are you sure? 'Cause I'm going to win!
So it's a deal.
Why would you wager food
if you're coming here to lose weight?
Ugh, I can't deal with this.
Then let the battle begin.
Ready
GO!
Nothin' beats an ice-cold beer after a bath!
What did I do to deserve this?
GIMME MY MONEY BACK!
Oh, quit being a sore loser!
Have you no pride?!
Shut up! Fries over pride forever!
What's with all the ruckus?
You won't believe it!
She turned my precious
French fries into alcohol!
What? Wait, who even is she?
The name's Oga. Pleasure.
Human! Fries
Need fries!
E-Elfuda!
Just one!
I'll settle for one! Please!
It's way too late to be eating fried food!
I promise I'll start my diet tomorrow!
Welp, so much for losing weight
I guess she needs more coaching
Plus-Sized Elf
Plus-Sized Elf!
Fishmonger
We got some tasty mackerel today, y'all!
I already told you that I'm a vegetarian
Our fresh mackerel is a steal!
But not because of a medical condition
or anything, right?
Watch the shop for me, Mero.
You can't subsist on French fries.
Yessir!
Fish is a great option when you're on a diet.
Sardines ¥70
They're rich in protein and
omega-3 fatty acids.
How crass!
Lining up their carcasses like that
This place is a crass station.
What's a "crass station"?
Where you fill up-
Hey, don'tcha mean a GAS station?!
You scared me
Sorry, mister!
I'm a fishmonger, so I couldn't
stop myself from takin' the bait!
Now if yer hankerin' for some fish,
I reckon yer mega-serious about
them omega-3s!
Fish is delicious and nutritious!
Beauty, weight loss,
it's got all kinds of benefits!
I eat fish three times a day myself!
See how supple it makes my skin?
Uh, don't you mean "flabby"?
STAB
MY SELF-ESTEEM!
Elfuda, that was very rude!
It's alright, she's preachin' to the choir
Ever since I rolled into town,
I ain't had much time to exercise
or go swimmin'.
Then I stuff my face with fish
'cause they're so tasty.
It's a vicious cycle
Is something the matter?
What the-?!
My gills was gettin' dry.
"Gills"? D-does that mean?
Correct. She is what's known as a "merrow."
In other words, a fish person.
How'd ya know?!
Wait just a darn minute Yer an elf!
And I much prefer the term "mermaid"!
"Fish person" sounds like
a waist up situation.
I'm a fish from the waist down.
My secret potion lets me transform-
Speak of the devil!
Feels like the effects are about to wear off
Get ready!
Y'see?!
She's a real mermaid.
This is what happens when
the potion wears off.
Potion?
You used merrow tears?
But I've heard it takes ten years
to distill one teardrop.
Well, lucky for me, I discovered a substitute.
ORGANIC
MACA EXTRAC
Check it out!
Y-you used that?!
Not sure what it's for, but the ingredients
are mostly the same as merrow tears.
Plus, a single sip gives me
human legs for five hours!
That doesn't maca any sense
Whaddya think? Ain't it neat?
Could you PLEASE put on some clothes?!
Ya know I can't go 'round
swimming in public as a mermaid!
Them news cameras would swarm me!
So that's why my biceps
turned into a flab fest!
Well, sure, but can't you just swim
while you're transformed?
Or find a seaside area
where there are no people around?
I can't stand saltwater and I sink
like a rock when I'm in human form.
Human bodies are so grueling!
I'm like a fatty fish that's
prime for the market.
The flab on your arms
is bothering you, I take it.
Would you like some advice?
Huh?
Muscle loss is the leading cause
of flabby skin.
Thankfully, you can get rid of it by
doing sets of bicep and tricep exercises.
Dumbbells would provide you
with a efficient workout.
But if you don't have any,
then you can use plastic bottles
that are full of water instead.
Even just a little weight
will make a difference.
There are other exercises like
wall push ups that can help, too.
I think I could handle doing those!
I also recommend a lymphatic massage
after you finish bathing,
as a way to help filter out
the waste from your body.
But bathin' turns me into soup broth!
Uh-huh, sure.
I can show you how to do it.
The human already taught me.
For starters, rub your armpits
over and over in a circular motion.
Like this?
Then go from wrist to elbow,
and elbow to armpit,
while massaging each area with
a squeezing motion to make it flow.
I'm gettin' the hang of it.
You don't have to squeeze
super hard, okay?
It's good to make this a daily habit!
Right, human?
Exactly.
Have you been keeping up with it, Elfuda?
Totally
Ain't nobody believin' that!
Pardon me for asking, but why do you
speak with that accent, Mero?
Cause it helps gussy up my character!
Have you ever been down south before?
Nope!
Well, that's definitely gonna upset the locals!
Fishmonger
Shucks, that lesson of yers was
useful as all get out! Thanks much!
Oh, hey. Let me return the favor
with some top-o-the-line roe!
It's all yers!
I couldn't accept something so expensive.
Phooey! Don't give me that!
It's gonna expire soon anyways.
Oh really?
Then I'll happily accept it.
What are those weird red balls?
They're eggs from a fish we call "salmon".
Are you sure they're safe to eat?
Don't fuss and find out
for yourself by tryin' 'em!
Ya can't judge foods by their looks!
Well?
Holy shrimp!
Oops, those were MY eggs!
ELFUDA!
Just messin'! I hope I didn't
krill ya with my little joke!
I need to wash my mouth out
with hot French fries.
Hurry and gimme some!
I'll go buy some right away!
Wait why French fries?
Oh my! What an adorable doggo!
Are you hungry?