Pompidou (2015) s01e03 Episode Script
The Bowl
1 # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo Doo dooblee doo-doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo # Doo-doo pomp # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy Doo doo doo doo doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la Pompy dompy dompy doo! Knock on t'door.
Definitely.
HE CONTINUES TO READ Fahlstrom? Huh? No.
HE MUTTERS Look at these.
No.
HE MUTTERS A cat's drill? Er no.
Capitio? No! HE PROTESTS No.
POMPIDOU SIGHS WellI'll look, then.
No, no, no.
HE MUTTERS What? Sorry, don't know what that Erm Hold up.
I don't like that.
Er Now, what Oh, what's that? BOTH: Ooh.
Oh.
Nope.
I don't like that one.
MUSIC: We Wish You a Merry Christmas HE SLURS DRUNKENLY But at the end of t'day out of all the THEY TOAS Martin who? THEY MUMBLE Ooh! I'd like some more Very nice.
HE WHISPERS GIBBERISH HOVE WHISPERS Oh.
A-ha.
Oh.
Whoa! Who-ho-a! Who-o-o-a! Oh.
Ooh! THEY TOAS MURMUR OF TV COW MOOS ON-SCREEN No, no, no, no.
Naughty.
Very naughty.
Isn't that naughty? Very naughty.
COW MOOS ON-SCREEN Yuck! No.
HE FLICKS THROUGH CHANNELS Ooh! Ooh! Ha! Ha! It's Merrick! Oh! Ha-ha! Hove? Yes? What? There! Merrick! Merrick! Hello, Merrick! Eric! Ah.
'Ah, yes, now this is really nice.
'I think this is ratheryes, yes.
' Is that? SHE TALKS ABOUT THE BOWL 'noodles in here' 'pastathis is noodles' 'I thinkthis could be ã1 million.
ã1 million!' SMASHING SOUND Is that? Uh-oh.
I got that.
And I gave it to him.
I got him that 'bowl, innit?' HE MUTTERS DISAPPROVINGLY MUTTERS ANGRILY I got that for him! HE SHOUTS ANGRILY HE CONTINUES TO RAN HE TUTS HE GOES ON RANTING RANT CONTINUES 'No, no, no, no.
' 'Oh, no.
' Pah! HE MUTTERS ANGRILY HE MUTTERS GRUMPILY Oh.
It's very unfair.
Can I haveplease? HE EXPLAINS HE BEGINS TO RAN Thank you! Huh! POMPIDOU ORDERS HOVE TO HELP HIM Go.
Right.
Up.
Down.
Up.
Down.
HE YELLS Up! HE MUTTERS HEY! HE ASKS POMPIDOU TO KEEP IT DOWN Up.
Down.
POMPIDOU YELLS Hey! THEY ALL GET ANGRY Oh - no, no, no.
Say "sorry".
What?! Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
You say "sorry".
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
POMPIDOU WHINES No.
POMPIDOU COMPLAINS Sorry.
I did it.
No.
POMPIDOU BLOWS AIR OUT OF HIS MOUTH HE CALLS OU No! Aw! HE BLURTS SOMETHING OU You, you, shake hands.
POMPIDOU SHRIEKS HE GRUMBLES No.
POMPIDOU MUTTERS QUIETLY No! HE GRUMPILY RECITES AN APOLOGY Fine.
Up.
Down.
Up.
Down.
POMPIDOU IMPERSONATES THE TEACHER HE MUTTERS HE CONTINUES TO MUTTER HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF HE YELLS LOUDLY Oh! HE ASKS HER A QUESTION Oh! HE COMPLAINS I want that there, I want that here.
I want that here.
HE YELLS HE MUTTERS HE YELLS HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF Ooh! Oh.
HE WHISPERS Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Boop! Boop! Oop! Oop! Oop.
Poop! Oop.
Ha-ha-ha! Yes.
HE OFFERS HER SOMETHING Ooh! Oh! Good afternoon.
All right.
Come in, then.
You heard about the bowl? HE CLEARS THROA Pig.
Whoo! Ooh! Nah.
HE WHISPERS Ow! HE COUGHS HE MAKES KISSING SOUNDS POMPIDOU CHORTLES AND HOVE MOANS HE TALKS WITH AMUSEMEN HE TOASTS ON TV: 'postmodern pinch pot.
' Oh! Hove! What? THEY LAUGH HE MAKES FUN OF THE WOMAN POMPIDOU CONTINUES LAUGHING 'ã2 million.
' 'ã2 million.
Ha-ha-ha!' # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo Doo dooblee doo-doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la Pompy dompy dompy doo!
Definitely.
HE CONTINUES TO READ Fahlstrom? Huh? No.
HE MUTTERS Look at these.
No.
HE MUTTERS A cat's drill? Er no.
Capitio? No! HE PROTESTS No.
POMPIDOU SIGHS WellI'll look, then.
No, no, no.
HE MUTTERS What? Sorry, don't know what that Erm Hold up.
I don't like that.
Er Now, what Oh, what's that? BOTH: Ooh.
Oh.
Nope.
I don't like that one.
MUSIC: We Wish You a Merry Christmas HE SLURS DRUNKENLY But at the end of t'day out of all the THEY TOAS Martin who? THEY MUMBLE Ooh! I'd like some more Very nice.
HE WHISPERS GIBBERISH HOVE WHISPERS Oh.
A-ha.
Oh.
Whoa! Who-ho-a! Who-o-o-a! Oh.
Ooh! THEY TOAS MURMUR OF TV COW MOOS ON-SCREEN No, no, no, no.
Naughty.
Very naughty.
Isn't that naughty? Very naughty.
COW MOOS ON-SCREEN Yuck! No.
HE FLICKS THROUGH CHANNELS Ooh! Ooh! Ha! Ha! It's Merrick! Oh! Ha-ha! Hove? Yes? What? There! Merrick! Merrick! Hello, Merrick! Eric! Ah.
'Ah, yes, now this is really nice.
'I think this is ratheryes, yes.
' Is that? SHE TALKS ABOUT THE BOWL 'noodles in here' 'pastathis is noodles' 'I thinkthis could be ã1 million.
ã1 million!' SMASHING SOUND Is that? Uh-oh.
I got that.
And I gave it to him.
I got him that 'bowl, innit?' HE MUTTERS DISAPPROVINGLY MUTTERS ANGRILY I got that for him! HE SHOUTS ANGRILY HE CONTINUES TO RAN HE TUTS HE GOES ON RANTING RANT CONTINUES 'No, no, no, no.
' 'Oh, no.
' Pah! HE MUTTERS ANGRILY HE MUTTERS GRUMPILY Oh.
It's very unfair.
Can I haveplease? HE EXPLAINS HE BEGINS TO RAN Thank you! Huh! POMPIDOU ORDERS HOVE TO HELP HIM Go.
Right.
Up.
Down.
Up.
Down.
HE YELLS Up! HE MUTTERS HEY! HE ASKS POMPIDOU TO KEEP IT DOWN Up.
Down.
POMPIDOU YELLS Hey! THEY ALL GET ANGRY Oh - no, no, no.
Say "sorry".
What?! Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no.
You say "sorry".
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
POMPIDOU WHINES No.
POMPIDOU COMPLAINS Sorry.
I did it.
No.
POMPIDOU BLOWS AIR OUT OF HIS MOUTH HE CALLS OU No! Aw! HE BLURTS SOMETHING OU You, you, shake hands.
POMPIDOU SHRIEKS HE GRUMBLES No.
POMPIDOU MUTTERS QUIETLY No! HE GRUMPILY RECITES AN APOLOGY Fine.
Up.
Down.
Up.
Down.
POMPIDOU IMPERSONATES THE TEACHER HE MUTTERS HE CONTINUES TO MUTTER HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF HE YELLS LOUDLY Oh! HE ASKS HER A QUESTION Oh! HE COMPLAINS I want that there, I want that here.
I want that here.
HE YELLS HE MUTTERS HE YELLS HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF Ooh! Oh.
HE WHISPERS Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Boop! Boop! Oop! Oop! Oop.
Poop! Oop.
Ha-ha-ha! Yes.
HE OFFERS HER SOMETHING Ooh! Oh! Good afternoon.
All right.
Come in, then.
You heard about the bowl? HE CLEARS THROA Pig.
Whoo! Ooh! Nah.
HE WHISPERS Ow! HE COUGHS HE MAKES KISSING SOUNDS POMPIDOU CHORTLES AND HOVE MOANS HE TALKS WITH AMUSEMEN HE TOASTS ON TV: 'postmodern pinch pot.
' Oh! Hove! What? THEY LAUGH HE MAKES FUN OF THE WOMAN POMPIDOU CONTINUES LAUGHING 'ã2 million.
' 'ã2 million.
Ha-ha-ha!' # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la # Pompy dompy dompy doo Doo dooblee doo-doo # Pompidou Pompidou La-la-la Pompy dompy dompy doo!