Porn and Ice Cream (2022) s01e03 Episode Script
La Academia
1
Two, three, two, four!
-Harry?
-Is he a taxi driver?
Don't hurt them, they're friends of mine.
-Okay.
-Our bad.
Come, get in.
PORN AND ICE CREAM
How embarrassing,
running away like a coward.
I needed the money, Pablo.
Now, I'm homeless.
We could have canceled.
We went there to cancel yesterday.
But you forced us
to make fools of ourselves tonight.
What?
-Pablo, calm down.
-Shut up!
Don't mistreat him.
So now you care?
He was all week with me, you vanished.
Well. Sorry for working, okay?
If I don't work, no one works at all.
Well, stop fighting, please.
It's all good, Ramón.
Let's think about
how to take it from here.
-We'll learn to play
-I want to leave
The project.
Is it something I did?
I can do better
No, you didn't do anything, Ramón.
This is the best for the three of us.
Okay. One thing goes wrong
and you leave.
Go figure.
You know what? We don't need you.
-Really?
-Ramón and I will write a hit.
We'll play live
and we'll have lots of friends.
-Come, Ramón.
-Very well.
Wouldn't you like to stay at my house?
I'm offering.
I know, Ramón. No, I
I already found a place to stay.
Are you sure?
MUSIC ACADEMY
Welcome to the Ismael Garcia Lagos
Music Academy.
How can I help you?
My friend and I want to learn to play.
I'm Pablo. I want to play guitar.
And he is my friend Ramón,
he wants to learn the keyboard.
I want to see
I want to come in
Baby, no one will do you harm
You will only be loved
You come here
You go there
Madam?
How much are the tuition fees?
Excu Excuse me.
-Huh?
-How much is the tuition?
-Eighteen thousand pesos.
-What?
Ismael Garcia Lagos Academy is
the most prestigious in the country.
You'll learn to play like professionals.
But we don't want
to learn to play that well.
We want to learn the basics, ASAP.
Well, you've come to the right place.
Pay the first installment
and you start on Monday.
There is no force around us
No potions for love
-I am Ramón.
-Elsa.
Elsa.
Well, shall we? Shall we, Ramón?
Pipe it down, please.
I'm watching a movie, boys.
This isn't a cinema.
I owe a fortune to my brother,
I can't keep asking him.
Don't look at her. She dumped us.
I pity her, she's homeless.
But don't look at her.
If you need money,
why don't you get a job?
I can't work
if I want to start a band, okay?
I don't know, can you imagine
John Lennon working at a clothing store?
Suits.
Selling suits
or something sophisticated.
No. What I mean is
that John Lennon did music full time.
That's why he was so great, see?
And even if I wanted,
it's impossible to get a job.
Why don't you work here?
You don't walk into a place
and get a job.
-Doesn't work like that.
-There's a sign.
HELP WANTED
But that sign is fake.
Pablo
I'll ask.
-Grace?
-What?
That sign.
It's old, isn't it?
No. We put it up this week.
We need someone
to work here from midnight to 6:00 a.m.
I'm sick of being a slave in this place.
I want to go out, I want to meet someone.
I want to get laid.
And you need someone
with experience, right?
No, not necessarily.
Someone who can cook, mix drinks
We just need a bartender.
Why? Are you interested?
No, I mean I'm looking for a job,
but I may be unsuitable.
Hey, kid, but she's offering you a job.
Don't you realize?
Harry, come on, no.
This kid doesn't want to work,
no, he keeps
He keeps sucking from mommy's tit, right?
Ceci.
The jacket is mine!
Ramón.
Ceci, you can't keep living here.
It's madness.
Either stay at my house,
or sell the jacket
-and rent a place.
-I'm not living here.
I just like to go out with my stuff.
That's from when
I went to Disneyland with my pops.
-Roland Duck and Mickey House.
-Donald Duck.
Roland.
It was a different Disneyland,
also in the US, but
We got there so quickly.
Seriously, you can stay with me whenever.
Think about it.
Okay, Ramón, thank you.
-Ramón!
-It's not right
He's with me today, huh?
-Come, let's go.
-Think about it.
-So? How did it go?
-Terrible.
I got the job.
BELIKA "OXFORD" BAR
RESTROOM
Excuse me.
Hi.
I want to see
I want to come in
Baby no one will do you harm
You will only be loved
What a song!
Still, Charly's solo career is superior.
I didn't know you worked here.
It was in my application form.
Yes, I know. You got me.
Were you looking for something?
Is there a less crowded department?
At this time, the sofa section.
There isn't anyone there.
Then, I need a sofa.
The range is extensive.
We have armchairs, two-seaters,
corner sofas, futons
We have futons on sale.
Let's go, I'll show you.
Okay.
Follow me. It's this way.
On those motorcycles at full speed
You will only feel the wind
Nothing more
-Hey, another one.
-Coming.
-Whiskey over here?
-Wow!
-What a babe!
-Lovely blonde.
Look at her, she's fit.
-Very funny, very funny.
-Let's have a go. Hey!
-What, are you nuts?
-Okay, baby.
If you have issues, solve them. Don't bust
my balls. And evict this squatter.
This one, this squatter.
Treat me to a whiskey, Pablo.
Come on.
I can't, Harry.
I can't just do it for free, no.
But Graciela can't tell
how much there is in a bottle.
Hi, good evening.
-Pablo.
-Hey!
-Hey.
-What's up?
-You okay?
-Yeah, waiting for Ramón.
Sandro, from Incestuous said
you didn't play because you had diarrhea.
No, no. Me? No. That was Ramón.
Ramón had diarrhea because
he was nervous about playing live.
Yes, playing live is the best laxative.
Such nice things you say.
What? It's true.
That, and a shovel of coke.
-Say, do they sell alcohol here?
-Obviously.
That's why Ramón and I come here.
We're big alcohol fans. We drink a lot.
And who can I order beer from?
Take some from the fridge over there.
What? Is there no one tending the bar?
It's like that here.
You take your beer
Self-service.
-Self-service, yeah.
-Okay.
I think it's sixty pesos,
this bubble gum.
Would you give me the money?
I'd rather wait to be served.
I Work here.
What?
I work here. Give me the money.
Give me the mo Give
Give me the money. Hey, hey
So? What's up?
Hey, where do we pay?
You can pay me.
Do you work here?
What? No.
No, no. But I am a friend of the owner's.
And how much would this be?
Uh, that That would be my treat.
-Really?
-Yes, I'm his best friend.
Cool! Thanks.
I'll go get one
and we'll make a toast.
-You're on.
-Yes.
Give them whiskey, not beer.
Listen to me.
But Graciela won't notice.
Harry, don't worry.
Yay! Beer!
Beer!
Awesome, dude. Thanks a lot.
Incognito Don't ignore me.
There won't be witnesses.
-Beto will
-And what am I supposed to do?
Come on, now
Was the gig good?
I drove him from Plaza Miserere
to the Congress building.
VIEIRA
PRESIDEN
-Fifteen blocks or
-Yes, 15 or 20.
-Paid with a thousand peso bill.
-Silence.
You're not a bank.
Beto, what's your impression
from your rides?
Stegman's image was boosted after
he cooked the two kilometer blood sausage.
Yesterday, a passenger said
he'd tried it, and it was delicious.
-That's why he'll vote for Stegman.
-No.
You can't choose a president
because he cooked sausage.
We must improve Vieira's image.
What can this buddy do?
Nothing.
Nothing.
If we can't boost Vieira's image,
we have no choice.
We must eliminate Stegman.
Pablo.
We're fifteen bottles short.
Yes, I drank them.
-Fifteen bottles?
-Yes.
-What stamina, boy.
-They were small, see?
I'll have to deduct them
from your wages.
Yes, of course,
I was gonna tell you.
Look. Today, you earned this.
If I deduct the beers, you get
this.
-Great.
-Okay, guys, see you later.
-See you.
-Okay.
Bye.
-Have a good one. See you, Grace.
-Bye, guys.
Bye, bye.
I want to ask Ismael Garcia Lagos
for a scholarship.
Those are for students
with extraordinary potential.
Like me.
Ismael is busy!
Excuse me?
Well.
We all know the C major scale.
Yes, that's basic.
F.
F.
Now, let's see.
-D.
-Very good!
-And now?
-E.
-No.
-C.
That's just wonderful!
B flat.
B flat!
I think someone has absolute pitch.
D.
F sharp. G.
A. E.
B.
Elsa?
What?
Come see this.
Coming!
Check this out.
F sharp.
See that, love?
50 YEARS MARRIED
YES. WE ARE MARRIED
I want to see
I want to come in
Baby, no one will do you harm
You will only be loved
ELSA IS TYPING
YESTERDAY - No.
You come here
You go there
But you'll never find yourself
If you escape
There is no force around us
No potions for love
Where are you?
Where
-I'm in agony! I'm in agony!
-Madam?
It's her hip!
Someone call an ambulance!
Because we are
On Sensation Street
So far from the Sun
PRESIDEN
ARE PABLO AND RAMÓN INVOLVED?
A CULT?
TAXI + RESTROOM
BLOOD SAUSAGE
CANDIDATES
TAXI DRIVERS
Pour me one.
Harry, she'll take it from my pay.
And I must save for the academy.
If you give them beer,
Graciela will notice.
Give them shots instead.
She doesn't measure
the amount in the bottles.
Are you sure?
Of course.
Of course, dear boy.
It's evident.
-Hi.
-Hi, how's it going?
I'm on this side of the bar
because there was a rat.
A rat?
Not anymore, it's dead.
They are our friends.
Oh, hi.
-How are you?
-Fine.
How about some whiskey?
Yeah!
I'll sort it out with the owner later.
Didn't he say the owner was a man?
Does he think we don't know he works here?
-I feel sorry for him.
-No way.
He is a dork.
What was that about the rats?
No, how could he say that?
What was that about?
So, baby boy,
did you slow down on the drink?
I'd rather not drink at work.
Here you go.
Awesome.
-Hey, Harry, I'll treat you to a whiskey.
-Go on.
So? Go.
-Go, baby boy, go.
-Oh, yeah.
Bye, Grace. See you later.
See you, baby boy.
Good.
-Burned out.
-Burned out.
Look. Nico drew me next to him,
and drew his mother way further.
Someone is clearly the favorite.
I see you both
at the same distance.
Why do you always take my ex's side?
No Well, I'm sorry.
I mean, it's not that I'm taking
Hello?
I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was married.
Elsa.
-I miss you.
-I miss you, too.
I said I miss you!
I said I miss you, too!
I think my husband is suspicious.
I just can't hide my feelings for you.
I'm as delirious
as a young 50-year-old girl.
-Let's meet up.
-What?
I said, let's meet up!
Idiot.
Okay, but it must be late at night,
when my husband sleeps.
Yes, I also sleep late at night,
but I'll make an effort for you.
See you later.
-And here you go.
-Thanks.
No, no worries.
-Hey, is it okay if I bring some friends?
-Sure, tell them to come.
Pablo, dear!
Could you give us another whiskey?
Whiskey? Uhm
How about vodka?
I'll give you vodka shots.
Can't you see they're using you?
You're jealous.
You can't stand it when I'm loved.
What? They love you?
They don't pay, and there's more of them.
I have a lot of friends now, deal with it.
-I took these glasses, Pedro.
-Okay.
They don't even
know your name, moron.
You know what? Leave me alone, quitter.
Go to your corner.
Okay, give me one.
Ramón, are you off to the shop?
I need ciggies.
No, I have a date.
Wow! Who's the young woman?
She's not that young.
A cougar?
Are you taking her to tango?
No, she can't dance
because of her hip operation.
-We'll go for a drink, and chill.
-Well done!
You'll sweet talk her and,
before she knows it, bang!
Get in!
There's no one like the boy
in the continent, don't be mean.
-So what?
-Boys
The day has come.
At what time is the operation?
6:01.
Vieira will thank us forever.
Is the sniper ready?
Blue Curaçao? Who wants Blue Curaçao?
Stegman's getting killed!
-Who the fuck is Stegman?
-Dunno. No idea.
-Hi.
-Hi.
You're here early.
I couldn't see the time on my watch,
the numbers are teeny-tiny.
What's the rush?
You guys want to kill Stegman and make
Vieira president. I know everything.
We, taxi drivers,
would never harm anyone.
On the contrary.
Please, you guys are a cult!
A cult!
Yes, we've been called all sorts,
but we've protected Argentines
since this country was founded.
Years go by.
Governments come and go.
But taxi drivers remain.
Would you like a tea?
I can't hear you,
but you're beautiful.
Hey, no beer! There's Blue Curaçao!
Chill, the guy who works here is a moron.
He's giving everything away. Here.
Would it be wrong to touch your face?
Touch me all over.
Harry, help me kick these people out.
-Yes, of course, give me a moment.
-Yes.
Oh, Harry!
I can't believe it, Elsa!
But, Ismael!
What are you doing here?
How did you hear me leave?
I slept with my hearing aid on!
-Let me explain.
-What?
Let me explain!
What are you guys doing there?
Get out of there!
Who said you could take stuff?
Hands off!
You threw away 51 years
of marriage in the gutter!
-Over this little snot!
-Show some respect, sir, please.
Respect? I'll kick your ass!
Hey, Pablo, don't you have any cachaça?
Stop, you're using me!
Stop it, stop it!
What the fuck is happening?
Ismael!
He's having a heart attack!
Call an ambulance!
Call an ambulance!
Don't pay me for tonight.
So, you're a taxi driver?
Yeah, why else would I hang out
at a bar for taxi drivers?
We must eliminate Stegman.
At what time is the operation?
6:01.
Is the sniper ready?
This is the end of Stegman.
This is the news
On The Sniper
The taxi driver's radio station.
6:01 a.m. in the Argentine Republic.
Heads up.
Tonight we have an exclusive.
The official launch
of Senator Vieira's campaign jingle.
It's nine months to the elections
but with this catchy tune,
Vieira will win the first round.
Even if Stegman cooked a larger sausage,
there's no turning point.
So, Stegman is eliminated.
I'll tell you what.
Shall we listen to the jingle?
Vieira, Vieira, Vieira
For everyone present
Vieira, Vieira
Your best president
Vi, vi, vi, vi, vi, Vieira
What a catchy jingle. Well played
by Vieira. He'll win on the first round.
-Now
-Where do I drop you, Ceci?
Ramón,
can I stay at your place?
Of course, my friend.
Thank you.
What are you doing, Pablo?
No I don't know, nothing, sorry.
Harry, I live opposite the bar.
So, why did we get in the taxi?
Oh, for fuck's sake!
You made me waste fuel.
Now that you killed Ismael,
God knows how we'll learn music.
I didn't kill him, Pablo.
You have no alcohol?
Are you serious?
I don't understand
why you brought Harry here.
Well, he was nice to us,
drove us to your place.
But I live opposite the bar, Pablo.
Oh! A keyboard!
We weren't dumping him
at the bar, abandoned, poor guy.
If you feel abandoned and grim,
you will always have porn and ice cream.
If you feel abandoned and grim
You will always have
Porn and ice cream
Can you play?
I played 13 years
in the National Philharmonic.
The legal battle is still on,
they owe me money since 1986.
Which chords?
Uh, C major.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
-Porn and ice cream
-Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Por
Go on, go on.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
Nice guitar, huh?
Yes.
It's very nice,
but I have no idea how to play.
It's a piece of cake. Come.
Come, sit here.
No.
-I
-Don't be silly.
Sit down.
C,
E, A,
D, G.
That's it. Look.
Put your little finger here, first.
Go on.
There, like that. Play.
How nice!
Now, let's see
The second one goes here.
Only two little fingers. There.
Do it. A little more.
That's it.
You will always have
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
This will make us rich.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
You have realized
You're just a creep
You look in the mirror
And want to scream
If you feel abandoned and grim
You will always have
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Two, three, two, four!
-Harry?
-Is he a taxi driver?
Don't hurt them, they're friends of mine.
-Okay.
-Our bad.
Come, get in.
PORN AND ICE CREAM
How embarrassing,
running away like a coward.
I needed the money, Pablo.
Now, I'm homeless.
We could have canceled.
We went there to cancel yesterday.
But you forced us
to make fools of ourselves tonight.
What?
-Pablo, calm down.
-Shut up!
Don't mistreat him.
So now you care?
He was all week with me, you vanished.
Well. Sorry for working, okay?
If I don't work, no one works at all.
Well, stop fighting, please.
It's all good, Ramón.
Let's think about
how to take it from here.
-We'll learn to play
-I want to leave
The project.
Is it something I did?
I can do better
No, you didn't do anything, Ramón.
This is the best for the three of us.
Okay. One thing goes wrong
and you leave.
Go figure.
You know what? We don't need you.
-Really?
-Ramón and I will write a hit.
We'll play live
and we'll have lots of friends.
-Come, Ramón.
-Very well.
Wouldn't you like to stay at my house?
I'm offering.
I know, Ramón. No, I
I already found a place to stay.
Are you sure?
MUSIC ACADEMY
Welcome to the Ismael Garcia Lagos
Music Academy.
How can I help you?
My friend and I want to learn to play.
I'm Pablo. I want to play guitar.
And he is my friend Ramón,
he wants to learn the keyboard.
I want to see
I want to come in
Baby, no one will do you harm
You will only be loved
You come here
You go there
Madam?
How much are the tuition fees?
Excu Excuse me.
-Huh?
-How much is the tuition?
-Eighteen thousand pesos.
-What?
Ismael Garcia Lagos Academy is
the most prestigious in the country.
You'll learn to play like professionals.
But we don't want
to learn to play that well.
We want to learn the basics, ASAP.
Well, you've come to the right place.
Pay the first installment
and you start on Monday.
There is no force around us
No potions for love
-I am Ramón.
-Elsa.
Elsa.
Well, shall we? Shall we, Ramón?
Pipe it down, please.
I'm watching a movie, boys.
This isn't a cinema.
I owe a fortune to my brother,
I can't keep asking him.
Don't look at her. She dumped us.
I pity her, she's homeless.
But don't look at her.
If you need money,
why don't you get a job?
I can't work
if I want to start a band, okay?
I don't know, can you imagine
John Lennon working at a clothing store?
Suits.
Selling suits
or something sophisticated.
No. What I mean is
that John Lennon did music full time.
That's why he was so great, see?
And even if I wanted,
it's impossible to get a job.
Why don't you work here?
You don't walk into a place
and get a job.
-Doesn't work like that.
-There's a sign.
HELP WANTED
But that sign is fake.
Pablo
I'll ask.
-Grace?
-What?
That sign.
It's old, isn't it?
No. We put it up this week.
We need someone
to work here from midnight to 6:00 a.m.
I'm sick of being a slave in this place.
I want to go out, I want to meet someone.
I want to get laid.
And you need someone
with experience, right?
No, not necessarily.
Someone who can cook, mix drinks
We just need a bartender.
Why? Are you interested?
No, I mean I'm looking for a job,
but I may be unsuitable.
Hey, kid, but she's offering you a job.
Don't you realize?
Harry, come on, no.
This kid doesn't want to work,
no, he keeps
He keeps sucking from mommy's tit, right?
Ceci.
The jacket is mine!
Ramón.
Ceci, you can't keep living here.
It's madness.
Either stay at my house,
or sell the jacket
-and rent a place.
-I'm not living here.
I just like to go out with my stuff.
That's from when
I went to Disneyland with my pops.
-Roland Duck and Mickey House.
-Donald Duck.
Roland.
It was a different Disneyland,
also in the US, but
We got there so quickly.
Seriously, you can stay with me whenever.
Think about it.
Okay, Ramón, thank you.
-Ramón!
-It's not right
He's with me today, huh?
-Come, let's go.
-Think about it.
-So? How did it go?
-Terrible.
I got the job.
BELIKA "OXFORD" BAR
RESTROOM
Excuse me.
Hi.
I want to see
I want to come in
Baby no one will do you harm
You will only be loved
What a song!
Still, Charly's solo career is superior.
I didn't know you worked here.
It was in my application form.
Yes, I know. You got me.
Were you looking for something?
Is there a less crowded department?
At this time, the sofa section.
There isn't anyone there.
Then, I need a sofa.
The range is extensive.
We have armchairs, two-seaters,
corner sofas, futons
We have futons on sale.
Let's go, I'll show you.
Okay.
Follow me. It's this way.
On those motorcycles at full speed
You will only feel the wind
Nothing more
-Hey, another one.
-Coming.
-Whiskey over here?
-Wow!
-What a babe!
-Lovely blonde.
Look at her, she's fit.
-Very funny, very funny.
-Let's have a go. Hey!
-What, are you nuts?
-Okay, baby.
If you have issues, solve them. Don't bust
my balls. And evict this squatter.
This one, this squatter.
Treat me to a whiskey, Pablo.
Come on.
I can't, Harry.
I can't just do it for free, no.
But Graciela can't tell
how much there is in a bottle.
Hi, good evening.
-Pablo.
-Hey!
-Hey.
-What's up?
-You okay?
-Yeah, waiting for Ramón.
Sandro, from Incestuous said
you didn't play because you had diarrhea.
No, no. Me? No. That was Ramón.
Ramón had diarrhea because
he was nervous about playing live.
Yes, playing live is the best laxative.
Such nice things you say.
What? It's true.
That, and a shovel of coke.
-Say, do they sell alcohol here?
-Obviously.
That's why Ramón and I come here.
We're big alcohol fans. We drink a lot.
And who can I order beer from?
Take some from the fridge over there.
What? Is there no one tending the bar?
It's like that here.
You take your beer
Self-service.
-Self-service, yeah.
-Okay.
I think it's sixty pesos,
this bubble gum.
Would you give me the money?
I'd rather wait to be served.
I Work here.
What?
I work here. Give me the money.
Give me the mo Give
Give me the money. Hey, hey
So? What's up?
Hey, where do we pay?
You can pay me.
Do you work here?
What? No.
No, no. But I am a friend of the owner's.
And how much would this be?
Uh, that That would be my treat.
-Really?
-Yes, I'm his best friend.
Cool! Thanks.
I'll go get one
and we'll make a toast.
-You're on.
-Yes.
Give them whiskey, not beer.
Listen to me.
But Graciela won't notice.
Harry, don't worry.
Yay! Beer!
Beer!
Awesome, dude. Thanks a lot.
Incognito Don't ignore me.
There won't be witnesses.
-Beto will
-And what am I supposed to do?
Come on, now
Was the gig good?
I drove him from Plaza Miserere
to the Congress building.
VIEIRA
PRESIDEN
-Fifteen blocks or
-Yes, 15 or 20.
-Paid with a thousand peso bill.
-Silence.
You're not a bank.
Beto, what's your impression
from your rides?
Stegman's image was boosted after
he cooked the two kilometer blood sausage.
Yesterday, a passenger said
he'd tried it, and it was delicious.
-That's why he'll vote for Stegman.
-No.
You can't choose a president
because he cooked sausage.
We must improve Vieira's image.
What can this buddy do?
Nothing.
Nothing.
If we can't boost Vieira's image,
we have no choice.
We must eliminate Stegman.
Pablo.
We're fifteen bottles short.
Yes, I drank them.
-Fifteen bottles?
-Yes.
-What stamina, boy.
-They were small, see?
I'll have to deduct them
from your wages.
Yes, of course,
I was gonna tell you.
Look. Today, you earned this.
If I deduct the beers, you get
this.
-Great.
-Okay, guys, see you later.
-See you.
-Okay.
Bye.
-Have a good one. See you, Grace.
-Bye, guys.
Bye, bye.
I want to ask Ismael Garcia Lagos
for a scholarship.
Those are for students
with extraordinary potential.
Like me.
Ismael is busy!
Excuse me?
Well.
We all know the C major scale.
Yes, that's basic.
F.
F.
Now, let's see.
-D.
-Very good!
-And now?
-E.
-No.
-C.
That's just wonderful!
B flat.
B flat!
I think someone has absolute pitch.
D.
F sharp. G.
A. E.
B.
Elsa?
What?
Come see this.
Coming!
Check this out.
F sharp.
See that, love?
50 YEARS MARRIED
YES. WE ARE MARRIED
I want to see
I want to come in
Baby, no one will do you harm
You will only be loved
ELSA IS TYPING
YESTERDAY - No.
You come here
You go there
But you'll never find yourself
If you escape
There is no force around us
No potions for love
Where are you?
Where
-I'm in agony! I'm in agony!
-Madam?
It's her hip!
Someone call an ambulance!
Because we are
On Sensation Street
So far from the Sun
PRESIDEN
ARE PABLO AND RAMÓN INVOLVED?
A CULT?
TAXI + RESTROOM
BLOOD SAUSAGE
CANDIDATES
TAXI DRIVERS
Pour me one.
Harry, she'll take it from my pay.
And I must save for the academy.
If you give them beer,
Graciela will notice.
Give them shots instead.
She doesn't measure
the amount in the bottles.
Are you sure?
Of course.
Of course, dear boy.
It's evident.
-Hi.
-Hi, how's it going?
I'm on this side of the bar
because there was a rat.
A rat?
Not anymore, it's dead.
They are our friends.
Oh, hi.
-How are you?
-Fine.
How about some whiskey?
Yeah!
I'll sort it out with the owner later.
Didn't he say the owner was a man?
Does he think we don't know he works here?
-I feel sorry for him.
-No way.
He is a dork.
What was that about the rats?
No, how could he say that?
What was that about?
So, baby boy,
did you slow down on the drink?
I'd rather not drink at work.
Here you go.
Awesome.
-Hey, Harry, I'll treat you to a whiskey.
-Go on.
So? Go.
-Go, baby boy, go.
-Oh, yeah.
Bye, Grace. See you later.
See you, baby boy.
Good.
-Burned out.
-Burned out.
Look. Nico drew me next to him,
and drew his mother way further.
Someone is clearly the favorite.
I see you both
at the same distance.
Why do you always take my ex's side?
No Well, I'm sorry.
I mean, it's not that I'm taking
Hello?
I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was married.
Elsa.
-I miss you.
-I miss you, too.
I said I miss you!
I said I miss you, too!
I think my husband is suspicious.
I just can't hide my feelings for you.
I'm as delirious
as a young 50-year-old girl.
-Let's meet up.
-What?
I said, let's meet up!
Idiot.
Okay, but it must be late at night,
when my husband sleeps.
Yes, I also sleep late at night,
but I'll make an effort for you.
See you later.
-And here you go.
-Thanks.
No, no worries.
-Hey, is it okay if I bring some friends?
-Sure, tell them to come.
Pablo, dear!
Could you give us another whiskey?
Whiskey? Uhm
How about vodka?
I'll give you vodka shots.
Can't you see they're using you?
You're jealous.
You can't stand it when I'm loved.
What? They love you?
They don't pay, and there's more of them.
I have a lot of friends now, deal with it.
-I took these glasses, Pedro.
-Okay.
They don't even
know your name, moron.
You know what? Leave me alone, quitter.
Go to your corner.
Okay, give me one.
Ramón, are you off to the shop?
I need ciggies.
No, I have a date.
Wow! Who's the young woman?
She's not that young.
A cougar?
Are you taking her to tango?
No, she can't dance
because of her hip operation.
-We'll go for a drink, and chill.
-Well done!
You'll sweet talk her and,
before she knows it, bang!
Get in!
There's no one like the boy
in the continent, don't be mean.
-So what?
-Boys
The day has come.
At what time is the operation?
6:01.
Vieira will thank us forever.
Is the sniper ready?
Blue Curaçao? Who wants Blue Curaçao?
Stegman's getting killed!
-Who the fuck is Stegman?
-Dunno. No idea.
-Hi.
-Hi.
You're here early.
I couldn't see the time on my watch,
the numbers are teeny-tiny.
What's the rush?
You guys want to kill Stegman and make
Vieira president. I know everything.
We, taxi drivers,
would never harm anyone.
On the contrary.
Please, you guys are a cult!
A cult!
Yes, we've been called all sorts,
but we've protected Argentines
since this country was founded.
Years go by.
Governments come and go.
But taxi drivers remain.
Would you like a tea?
I can't hear you,
but you're beautiful.
Hey, no beer! There's Blue Curaçao!
Chill, the guy who works here is a moron.
He's giving everything away. Here.
Would it be wrong to touch your face?
Touch me all over.
Harry, help me kick these people out.
-Yes, of course, give me a moment.
-Yes.
Oh, Harry!
I can't believe it, Elsa!
But, Ismael!
What are you doing here?
How did you hear me leave?
I slept with my hearing aid on!
-Let me explain.
-What?
Let me explain!
What are you guys doing there?
Get out of there!
Who said you could take stuff?
Hands off!
You threw away 51 years
of marriage in the gutter!
-Over this little snot!
-Show some respect, sir, please.
Respect? I'll kick your ass!
Hey, Pablo, don't you have any cachaça?
Stop, you're using me!
Stop it, stop it!
What the fuck is happening?
Ismael!
He's having a heart attack!
Call an ambulance!
Call an ambulance!
Don't pay me for tonight.
So, you're a taxi driver?
Yeah, why else would I hang out
at a bar for taxi drivers?
We must eliminate Stegman.
At what time is the operation?
6:01.
Is the sniper ready?
This is the end of Stegman.
This is the news
On The Sniper
The taxi driver's radio station.
6:01 a.m. in the Argentine Republic.
Heads up.
Tonight we have an exclusive.
The official launch
of Senator Vieira's campaign jingle.
It's nine months to the elections
but with this catchy tune,
Vieira will win the first round.
Even if Stegman cooked a larger sausage,
there's no turning point.
So, Stegman is eliminated.
I'll tell you what.
Shall we listen to the jingle?
Vieira, Vieira, Vieira
For everyone present
Vieira, Vieira
Your best president
Vi, vi, vi, vi, vi, Vieira
What a catchy jingle. Well played
by Vieira. He'll win on the first round.
-Now
-Where do I drop you, Ceci?
Ramón,
can I stay at your place?
Of course, my friend.
Thank you.
What are you doing, Pablo?
No I don't know, nothing, sorry.
Harry, I live opposite the bar.
So, why did we get in the taxi?
Oh, for fuck's sake!
You made me waste fuel.
Now that you killed Ismael,
God knows how we'll learn music.
I didn't kill him, Pablo.
You have no alcohol?
Are you serious?
I don't understand
why you brought Harry here.
Well, he was nice to us,
drove us to your place.
But I live opposite the bar, Pablo.
Oh! A keyboard!
We weren't dumping him
at the bar, abandoned, poor guy.
If you feel abandoned and grim,
you will always have porn and ice cream.
If you feel abandoned and grim
You will always have
Porn and ice cream
Can you play?
I played 13 years
in the National Philharmonic.
The legal battle is still on,
they owe me money since 1986.
Which chords?
Uh, C major.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
-Porn and ice cream
-Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Por
Go on, go on.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
Nice guitar, huh?
Yes.
It's very nice,
but I have no idea how to play.
It's a piece of cake. Come.
Come, sit here.
No.
-I
-Don't be silly.
Sit down.
C,
E, A,
D, G.
That's it. Look.
Put your little finger here, first.
Go on.
There, like that. Play.
How nice!
Now, let's see
The second one goes here.
Only two little fingers. There.
Do it. A little more.
That's it.
You will always have
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
This will make us rich.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
You have realized
You're just a creep
You look in the mirror
And want to scream
If you feel abandoned and grim
You will always have
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time, to let off some steam
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream