Pulling (2006) s01e03 Episode Script

1 [ROCK THEME PLAYS.]
-Hello, Karen.
How are you? -Good, good.
Not too bad.
-Yourself? -Can't complain.
I'd like to, but no-one will listen.
[BOTH LAUGH.]
Where's your granddaughter? Did her bike arrive in the end? -Two days late though.
-That's shocking, ain't it? Oh, well, she's got it now.
That's the main thing.
It is.
It is.
Mike, I've got a little tear in this dress.
I need it for tonight.
I don't know if that's possible.
Well, we're a bit chock-a.
Let's have a look.
We'll see what we can do.
It's mainly along the seam, but it probably needs a stitch.
Bloody hell.
You been playing rugby in this? I think a rugby player was involved.
[MIKE LAUGHS.]
Well, for you, 10 quid.
It's gonna have to be tomorrow, this is a machine job.
Oh, I was really hoping to get it back for tonight.
Love to, Karen, but, as I say, it's a machine job.
I can't get at the machine till tomorrow.
-Just for me? -Heh-heh, I'm sorry, Karen.
-Please, please, please.
-Heh-heh.
-I can't.
-Go on.
I'm sorry, Karen.
I can't.
Right.
Okay.
Great.
So, what was that all about the other day then? -What? -You know, the other day.
Going about your granddaughter, mugging standing, listening.
Asking questions, being interested.
"My granddaughter this, my granddaughter that.
" My fucking granddaughter with her stupid spoilt bike.
What was that all for? I thought money in the bank.
What was I wasting my time for? Do you think I like listening to pricks like you? -Karen! -You love the power, don't you? It's all about the power.
It's people like you that make this country.
You really are a piece of shit! [GRUNTING.]
Oh, come on.
All right.
[GRUNTING.]
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Liam? God, Liam, hi.
God, how are you? What are you doing here? I just got off the-- -Louise, isn't it? -Yes.
-Yes, you remembered.
-From the restaurant.
Yes, from the restaurant.
From the flipping restaurant.
That's brilliant.
Will you be coming in today? We've got the aubergine tagine, your favorite.
Sounds delicious.
I'm just so busy at work.
Oh, yeah, I know.
I know.
-Doing anything tonight? -Nothing special.
-Are you sure? -Yeah.
But you must be doing something.
-No.
-What, nothing? Well, I'm going to this film launch thing.
Film launch, yes.
That's great.
-So you're going.
-Um.
-What's it called? -The, uh, Pelican.
-No! -Yeah.
No, no, no, that's amazing.
At the Red Room.
I'm gonna be there tonight.
Really? Yeah.
You're gonna be there? Yeah.
Oh, God.
Oh, wow.
That's a coincidence.
What time? [INDIAN MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO.]
[TIRES SCREECH.]
[GROANS.]
KARL: Oh, shit! Hey, are you all right, mate? I didn't see you, just-- What's that on your face? -Are you taking the piss? -What? No.
[GROAN THEN COUGHS.]
[PANTING.]
Oh! Fuck.
[PANTING.]
Karl? If you don't open the door, I'm gonna use the bloody key.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
Karl, I need to find my shoe.
It's very important.
You better not be masturbating, because I'm coming in.
Karl! Get the chair.
Get the chair.
[KARL PANTS.]
Jesus Christ, Karl! Are you hanging yourself? -Is that what you're doing? -Uh, no.
What are you doing? [KARL GRUNTING.]
Oh, for God's sake.
-I can't reach.
Kneel down.
-What? Kneel down! I'll stand on your back.
-But I've got a bad back.
-Donna! Oh, okay.
Look, just get ready.
I'm gonna let go, so get ready, okay? [KARL GRUNTING.]
Karl, have you got a Hitler moustache? Donna! [BOTH GRUNTING AND PANTING.]
[KARL PANTING.]
-Thank you.
-You prick! What am I supposed to wear to this thing? -Wear your black dress.
-It's got a hole in the arse.
-How did that happen? -Mark with his little fantasies.
I mean, how many times can a woman enjoy being raped? What you looking at? -Are you bringing Mark? -You're joking, aren't you? Last thing I need is his leathery old chops cramping my style.
I'm finished with him.
Nothing but celebrities for me from now on.
Can I get some bread with this? I bumped in to Liam this morning.
He's definitely going.
You do know that stalking is actually a crime, Louise? I'm not stalking him.
I just happen to be going to the same film launch as him.
You just happen to be going to the same film launch as him.
All right, I overheard him talking about it.
And the rest was done on the Internet.
It's not exactly shooting him on his doorstep, is it? What do you think the chances are of pulling a celebrity? I probably won't have time for that sort of thing.
I'll be talking to Liam and his friends.
Producers, scriptwriters, clapper loaders, best boys.
Wow.
Right.
I'd better go get my red carpet outfit.
Don't want Brad Pitt thinking I've got no class.
Can I get a doggy bag for this? [CELL PHONE RINGS.]
Donna? He's done what? What a cunt.
If I came in five minutes later, he would be dead.
He would be hanging there, dead.
Do you think he's depressed? No, he just wanted to see how he looked with purple head.
What am I going to do now? I'm scared to leave him now.
He said he changed his mind, didn't he? Karen, he tried to kill himself.
Oh, come on, who hasn't? What? Not even with pills? I mean, what do I do now? He's got it out of his system.
He looks fine.
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS OVER RADIO.]
I'm gonna have to stay with him.
[WHISPERS.]
That'll be a laugh.
I'm supposed to be at work.
I'll call if I can't come in.
I just don't know what I'd do if he, you know.
-I can't leave him.
I can't.
-Okay, listen.
-We'll help.
-Really? -Will we? -Yes, Louise.
There's a desperate man there.
We can't just walk away.
-What about the party tonight? -Fucking hell.
He'll be better by then, won't he? I like that he's the kind of man that goes to film launches.
Because you hear about these parties and you think, who goes there, what are they like? Is it all celebrities and business deals and things.
And it just makes me think, who is he? Who is the real Liam, whatever his surname is.
Who is he? Who is this man? Who do you think he is, Karl? Please, please go home.
Hi, darling.
Didn't know you'd be here.
-What a coincidence.
-Piss off! Karen.
What if I told you that I think I'm falling in love with you? -Mark, it's over.
-All right.
Look, okay.
Will you marry me? What? You're already married.
I'll divorce her.
I love you, and-- All right.
Look, Mark.
You've done well, okay? But don't push it.
You've been boxing above your weight, I'll give you credit for that, but now it's over.
No, it's not over.
Don't say it's over.
I love you.
Mark, listen.
We've had some fun.
Well, actually, we haven't.
Just go.
You whore.
I'm gonna stick it in you.
Just go! -What was it? A cry for help? -I don't know.
-Were you killing yourself? -I don't know, Donna.
I mean, you put a bracket up.
You screwed a bracket into the ceiling.
How long did that take? About half hour.
Once I found the right length screws.
Instead of putting a bracket into the ceiling and a noose round your neck, why not put them shelves up? Buy some cups.
I don't know what I was doing.
I don't know why I did it.
Just everything got on top of me.
What if I hadn't come along, Karl? What then? You'd still be hanging there.
By the time someone realized you were missing, cats would have been eating you.
Did you think about that? -Did you think about the cats? -No.
[SOBS.]
I see you've cheered him up then.
Yeah, well, just-- Look, don't cry, Karl, because that's not gonna-- [PANTS.]
I'm gonna talk to Karen, okay? so try not to kill-- Just don't do anything, okay? [SOBBING.]
I can't leave him like this.
I'm gonna have to stay with him.
What about tonight? I've been really looking forward to this, Donna.
Yeah, well, you know, he's not well, and-- -Get his mum to look after him.
-I can't call.
She'll blame me.
What about little fat Tanya? She won't be doing anything.
I haven't seen her since the hen night, and she'll judge me and-- Donna, you're always winging on about the kind of life you want.
Well, here it is, and you're going to turn it down.
-No, I'm just saying Karl-- -Are you still together or what? -Do you want a new life? -Yes, of course.
Then make your mind up.
Karl stopped being your responsibility the day you told him you didn't want to marry him.
All right, I'll try Tanya.
You look after Karl.
Bloody hell, what am I gonna say to him? Just think of something nice.
Nice? Nice? [PANTS.]
-Donna's just popped out.
-Right.
[PANTING.]
So.
Heard you had quite a stalk-on, Karl.
What? TANYA: I'd love to help, Donna.
Really? Are you sure? I mean, that would be amazing.
God, I'd love to.
I'm there for you, Donna.
Oh, Tanya, that is such a weight off my mind.
So, what happened? Well, I walked in on him, he's hanging from the ceiling.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
I just think maybe things have got a bit on top of him.
I mean, he seems fine now.
I think he's just embarrassed about the whole thing.
I suppose I am a bit worried because.
Tanya? Sorry, sorry.
[TANYA SOBS.]
Oh, God, look at me.
Stupid, stupid.
Tan--Tanya, what's the matter? He's leaving me.
Who? -Dan, Donna, my husband.
-Oh, yeah, sorry.
What? What, Dan? Dan's leaving you? He's met someone else.
What, Dan has? You were right, Donna.
You were so right.
I mean, we all laughed at you and thought you were stupid canceling the wedding, but-- You knew what you were doing.
You weren't just being a selfish bitch.
It's all shit! [SIGHS.]
So how's Karl? Oh, yeah, sorry, stupid, stupid.
Look, um, Tanya, I think maybe this is a tricky time for you.
No, no, I'm fine.
-I can get someone else.
-No, I want to.
Because you seem to have a lot on your plate.
He can have the kids for a change.
You know.
Or maybe I'll set fire to the house.
Yeah, then they'll be no me, no kids, no F-ing problems.
-Yeah, that'll teach him.
-Yeah.
You know what I think? I think you just need a good night out, you know.
Just forget about me and Karl and all that suicidal nonsense.
Just go out, get glammed up, you know.
Enjoy yourself, flirt with boys, whatever.
Just-- Because that will show-- You show Dan, okay? You show him.
You go, girl.
So, what time do you want me to come round? Are you all right down there? KARL: Yes.
Well, make some noise then, you're making me nervous.
KARL: What? Sing or something.
Come on, Eileen Well, I swear what he means Come on, Let's take off everything That pretty red dress, Oh, Eileen, tell him yes Yeah, but you didn't see her.
I'm telling you, she's lost it.
I'm just not sure who's gonna be looking after who.
Well, they can be co-dependent.
Stop making excuses, Donna.
He'll be fine.
Look at him.
He's happy in his little blanket there.
I am here, you know.
Can you take the blanket off, please, Karl? You look like a hostage.
[DOORBELL RINGS.]
There she is.
Let's go.
Hang on, Karen.
She's not even in the door yet.
Hello, Donna.
Sorry I'm late.
Couldn't get out the bath, I just couldn't see the point.
Um.
You look lovely.
Ah, you look so beautiful.
Where is he? Karl.
God.
It's Karl.
-Karl, Karl, Karl, Karl! KARL: Hello, Tanya.
Why? Fucking why? -Right, she's in.
Let's go.
-No, hold on.
You are so brave, and they are such cowards.
-Who? Who? Who are cowards? -You look well, Tanya.
Yeah? Dan just left me.
Yeah, well, your hair looks nice.
Can we please go! Look, I don't think this is a good idea.
No, no, you go.
No, you seem a bit down.
My flipping husband just left me, Donna.
DONNA: Yeah, no, I don't mean.
Sorry, I just think you and Karl aren't the best people to be together, at the moment.
Oh, no.
-No, we're fine.
-No, because-- Donna, we'll be fine, honest.
[SIGHS.]
Rejects Anonymous.
[TANYA CHUCKLES.]
[TANYA CONTINUES CHUCKLING.]
[KARL SIGHS THEN CHUCKLES.]
Tanya's lovely, isn't she? DONNA: Are you mental? She's off her head.
I don't know what I'm doing.
I should be protecting Karl.
I thought she was all right.
Just chill.
Karen, I've just left a suicidal boyfriend with someone who makes Robbie Williams look happy.
-Ex.
-What? -Ex-boyfriend.
-That's what I said.
Karen, there's a bloke waving at you.
He's got me mixed up with someone else.
-Karen.
-Someone else called Karen.
-Isn't that Mark? KAREN: No.
-Karen, it's Mark.
-Oh, shit! Right, get ready to run, I'm gonna mace him.
No! We're outside a club.
Everyone's looking.
Karen.
Hi, um, what a coincidence.
Um, yeah, I happened to be driving by and-- Oh, right, really? Where's your car then? Well, I got a taxi.
-You are not coming in.
-I'll be no trouble.
You cannot come in.
You're not on the list.
Well, he could come in with us.
I've got a plus three.
No! How am I gonna pull with that hanging round my neck? Okay, right.
That's not.
Other men? No, I forbid.
"You are not going to.
" No.
That's it.
That's because that-- When you think about it is.
Okay.
Uh, right, right, fine.
Uh.
[MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKER.]
I think I just saw Raj Persaud down the end of the bar.
Tell you what, this is gonna be a night to remember.
-Shall I call Dan? -What? Who's Dan? Tanya's husband, Karen.
KAREN: Why would you call Dan? Because Tanya's cracking up.
Just give the man a break.
Poor bastard's just got away.
DONNA: Look, maybe I should go back.
You are going nowhere.
Oh, my God, it's him.
KAREN: Who? LOUISE: It's Liam.
With the-- Liam from the restaurant.
And Liam-- Oh, my hair's-- I'm going to go-- Liam.
It's Liam with the tagine.
Shall I talk to him? I don't know, Louise.
Is there another approach? Right, I'm going over.
-How do I look? -Crazed.
That'll do.
KAREN: Right, well I think it's only polite for us to get our sexy single arses out.
I'm just gonna give Karl a quick call.
LOUISE: Liam! Hi.
Hi, how are you? Brilliant.
I'm brilliant.
You look great.
Oh, uh, thanks.
Well, so do you.
Um, this is Louise.
Uh, she works in my favorite restaurant.
Were you telling them about the restaurant.
Wow, that-- Oh, thank you.
[CHUCKLES.]
It's strange seeing you here, you know, out of context.
Not in the restaurant.
LOUISE: It is strange.
-Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so-- Okay.
Well, I mean, we'll have, what, same again.
So two G&Ts and a pint of Stella.
[LAUGHS.]
Okay.
Two G&Ts and a pint of Stella.
Yeah.
Oh, sorry.
Ha-ha-ha.
There you go.
Wow, that's really a tip.
Heh.
I'll just go and get those drinks.
[KAREN GIGGLING.]
Oh, and this is my friend, Donna.
Champagne makes her horny, too.
I couldn't get through.
-Right, well.
-What do you think that means? It means he's busy.
Donna, this is Alan, and this is Anthony.
Busy? Why? What do you think he's doing? Maybe he's on the toilet.
No.
No way.
Not at this time.
No, it's too early.
Please, Donna.
Will you just forget about Karl for five minutes, and talk to the people who are actually sat with us in this room.
Yeah.
Sorry.
I just--Sorry.
So, Alan.
.
do you have any experience with suicide? Here's your drinks.
Are you okay there? Didn't they give you a tray or something? I don't actually work here, so no.
-I thought you-- -No, it's fine.
-It's no trouble.
-Louise, I'm really sorry.
I thought-- I thought you-- [LOUISE LAUGHS.]
It's okay.
That's embarrassing.
No.
Do you wanna come and join us? That would be lovely.
DONNA: Thing is, when you see someone you care about hanging there, and their eyes are like, you know, on stalks, bulging out of their head, it kind of stays with you.
I hate that he felt that low, but he couldn't talk to me.
You know, I mean why--? Why couldn't he talk to me? Do you think I should try him again, or--? Yeah, I think I might just give him a quick call.
Excuse me a minute.
What do you think you're doing? -I'm just gonna give-- -In case you hadn't noticed, I'm about to get off with Russell Crowe.
DONNA: That's not Russell Crowe.
KAREN: He's a professional look-alike-y.
His stage name is Russell Crowe.
He is Russell Crowe.
What's that got to do with--? Suicidal ex-fiances are not sexy, okay? I'm asking you-- No.
I'm begging you to change the record.
Karl is fine.
Leave him alone.
He's got Tanya with him.
Right, there are such things as suicide pacts, Karen.
You are being ridiculous.
This is our big night, and you are ruining it for me.
-But-- -But nothing! Now let's get back to the boys before they-- Oh, shit! They've gone.
Look, I'm gonna go as well.
Actually, because I'm not really having a good time.
Let's go! -No, no, no.
You stay.
-Oh, yeah.
I'll stay here, Donna.
Now you've ruined the evening, I'm really in the mood.
I can't help it, Karen.
I'm worried.
Yeah, about yourself! What does that mean? Figure it out while I tell Louise our evening's been pissed on.
Karen! [INDISTINCT CHATTERING.]
Louise, have you got your keys.
We're going home.
Hi, Karen.
Karen, this is Liam.
Don't go, Karen.
-Have you got your keys? LOUISE: I think so.
Hang on, I'll just have a look.
Why, are you going? Yeah, Karen, why are you going? Don't go, Karen.
All due respect, Liam, I'm not in the mood.
LOUISE: I think I've got them.
Come on, Karen, sit down, have a drink.
I don't want a drink, okay.
Ooh, Karen's a bit feisty.
I'm warning you, Liam! Is Karen a bit fie-- Aah! -You got them? -Yes.
No.
Well, you know what? I think I'll probably come as well.
KAREN: Sorry for that, Louise.
It's okay.
I mean, I'm sure I'll see him in the restaurant, when his eyes are better.
DONNA: Look, I'm sorry, okay.
But we still managed to have a good time, didn't we? Are you mental? It's not even 10:30 on a Friday night, I'm off to check up on a suicide with you and Ricky the rapist.
I'm not really a rapist.
DONNA: Look, I didn't wanna be like this, Karen.
I was looking forward to tonight as much as anyone.
But I'm worried.
You don't understand, he's vulnerable.
They're adult sex games.
She likes them.
He's vulnerable because of you.
You won't leave the poor bastard alone for five minutes.
I can leave him alone for five minutes.
-Prove it then.
-All right.
-So don't go round there.
-Okay, fine.
-Don't go round there tonight.
-Fine, we're not going there.
So we're not going round there? -No.
-Good.
Yeah, it is.
So we're not going round there.
Fine.
We're not going round.
I'm just going to pop in for five minutes.
-What? -Hi.
-What are you--? -Shh.
I've just got him off.
What's going on? He's on your lap, Tanya.
Yeah, no.
I know.
I didn't wanna move him.
He's been through so much.
Cried himself to sleep, poor buggar.
-Cried? He's been crying? -Mm.
We've had a fantastic evening.
I think it's really helped both of us.
-Well, that-- That's good.
-Mm.
He's gonna be fine.
Little soldier.
Right.
Well, I can take over from here, so I don't really think that's a very good idea.
Why? -He really resents you, Donna.
-Heh, what? Yeah.
He let it all out earlier.
All the hurt, all the hate.
-Hate? -Mm.
So much pain in such a small head.
Well, what did he say? He put it all into a letter.
-What letter? -Well, it's not for your eyes.
It's a thing you do when you need to get out all the hate.
We did one each.
I think it's really helped to calm us.
What you do is you write down everything that you want to say, and then you put it in to a letter.
But you don't actually send it to the person.
Here it is, Donna.
This is what Karl thinks of me? Yep.
There.
Only five.
I said I was only gonna be five minutes.
So where are we going then? I don't know what you ladies are up for, but-- Not a chance! Fair enough.