Queenie (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

MUSIC: Area Codes by Kaliii
HE WHISPERS: Very retro.
How much do you want this?
What's taking so long?
Here.
Mm. Very retro.
Two seconds.
MOANING
Oh, yeah!
SHE PANTS
What's your name again?
Them nails are gonna take
you from virgin to vixen.
Virgin? Kyazike, I
have had sex, you know.
Yeah, but you're more
on the vanilla side.
Vanilla? Hmm, me?
If only you knew what
I've been getting up to.
With who? You and Tom been
having a lickle make-up sexy?
No. No, no, we're done. Wow!
For now. I'm really glad that
you've accepted that one.
Wait, w How long have
you thought it was done?
Listen, let's not get into the
ins and outs of mandem's past.
Who you been fucking, sis?
I'll tell you later.
Anyway, I'm fine.
Don't worry about me.
I'm out here living
my best life.
OK. And you're not
letting them bareback?
You know, they're
strapping up, right? Yeah.
INTERNALLY: Sometimes.
Kay.
Are you gonna be
able to handle those?
Yeah. Can handle
anything. I'm a
I'm a pro.
MUSIC: Reggae Man by APM
Hi, Grandma!
How you mean, "Hi, Grandma"?
Queenie! We never expect you.
The boiler's broken and, um, I have
to have a bath before I go out.
The water rates, Queenie!
WOMAN: Queenie, I won't be long.
THUD
Let me wash your back.
Grandma, Grandma, Grandma!
Grandma, please. SHE LAUGHS
I've seen it all
before, Queenie! Hmm.
And if you don't mind me saying,
my form at your age
..was a lot finer than yours.
Oh, ow.
I do mind you saying
that, actually.
INTERNALLY: Oh, no, she's seen
the love bite. She's gonna start.
Looks like you and your
friend are back on.
Not the response I expected.
No.
No, we're not.
What's that saying about
letting something go free
and it coming back to
you? GRANDMA CHUCKLES
We don't have such a
saying in Jamaica. Hmm.
We all know heartache,
but life goes on, Queenie,
and you, you'll be just fine.
Why don't you talk to your
mother about all this?
She's soft like you.
Should've known.
Better with all
this heart stuff.
Like you said Grandma,
I'll be fine.
Better to bury it
all the way down.
PHONE WHISTLES
Queenie, you ready?
Um, I'm just stepping
out now, Grandma.
I'll come by later in the week.
How you mean? Come in here
and say goodbye properly.
No, no, no, Grandma.
My car's here.
GRANDMA SCREAMS
Heavenly Father!
What mistake did I make in life
that my granddaughter would think
that it is suitable to dress in
a way that shames her grandmother
and gives her grandfather a
heart attack? Bye, Grandma.
Bye, Grandad.
Call the ambulance
on your way out!
DANCE MUSIC PLAYS
Woo-ooh-ooh!
I should've listened to Darcy when
she was explaining the dress code.
It's amazing that The Daily
Reader has budget for Halloween
at the skate rink but no
Black History Month content.
Ugh. I'm sorry, I'm
sorry. I'm I'm sorry.
Oh!
Shit! Sorry, love.
Hey, you.
Or should I say "Hugh"?
HE CHUCKLES Yeah.
Oh, you're funny, aren't you?
Mm, so I've heard.
And you're
..really good looking.
Yeah, you're not
too bad yourself.
Oh.
I'm, um I'm Guy, by the way.
Um, I'm Queenie.
Whoa! Oh!
SKELETON LAUGHS CREEPILY
Well, it looks like we came
in matching costumes, then.
Oh, so you didn't, um, want to
dress as something scary either?
I don't know, some people might
find Hugh Hefner a bit scary.
But no, I was actually at another
party, and then I came here.
Mm.
Glad I did, though.
Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
Looks like I've caught
myself a Playboy bunny.
SHE CHUCKLES
Excuse me.
Hi! Hi.
Hi. Hi. I've been
looking for you.
Yeah, I just, um I was
a bit caught up, um
But I'm here now. What
What do you need me to do?
Well, half the skaters
are already gone, Queenie.
I needed you to get them
to sign release forms.
It's fine. Just
go get the forms,
and I'll get them back.
No, no, it's fine.
It's fine. Enjoy yourself.
I need to carry on working.
It's not often I
ask for your help.
Darcy Da
SHE EXHALES What
were you saying?
Ooh, thank you.
For the Dutch courage.
Thirsty, then? Yeah.
Do you wanna come back to mine?
Um, yeah. Now?
Fuck yeah! Let's go.
INTERNALLY: Bringing him back
to mine feels a bit risky.
Maybe I should've pushed him
out at the traffic lights.
Or maybe not.
Ah. Easy.
You're so sexy. I just can't
control myself around you.
Ooh!
Come on. QUEENIE GIGGLES
You ready for this?
As I'll ever be.
Aye, aye, Captain.
Is it rude if I ask him
to move to the left a bit?
You loving this?
Nearly.
Mm-hm, yeah.
I need to hear you
say, "Yes, sir."
Is this army roleplay?
Ow!
Y-Yes, sir. Yes, sir!
Again.
SLAP Let's go!
SLAP Ow!
HE MOANS
Tom was never
that commanding.
Maybe that's the
kind of thing I like.
I think that was fun.
Yeah, that was fun.
I hope you know we're
gonna be doing this a lot.
Oh, are we?
Sure, OK.
That's OK. I didn't
need to be warm anyway.
So, then we woke up properly,
had sex again three more times.
It's more than Tom
could ever manage.
INTERNALLY: Even though just the
once with Tom was always so nice.
Three? I remember the days me and
Simon used to have regular sex,
and even then it would only
ever be once a session.
And you know, on the third
time, we almost, almost
..did anal.
Why almost?
Well, it's on my
list of things to do
but, like, I'm not
there just yet.
I've done anal, you know?
No, you haven't.Yeah,
I have. SHE GIGGLES
Only on Valentine's
Day, though. Ooh!
It's my annual gift to Simon.
Oh, you dark horse. So, anyway,
the next day he messages me, OK?
Because I thought it was
just a one-time thing,
but, Darcy, he just
keeps coming back.
Well, do you think this might
turn into something serious?
No .No. It's a
thing. I mean, I'd
I'd say it's a thing rather
than a serious thing.
Well, congratulations on your
first situationship. Thank you.
Oh, would we call
it that just yet?
I mean Pfft.
I just keep picturing how
sick Tom is gonna look
when he sees me walking down
the street with his upgrade.
Mm, yeah. Um
Queenie, I'm not sure how healthy it
is that your focus here is on Tom.
I'm not. I I'm
I haven't I wasn't
even thinking about him.
If you're sure. Mm-hm.
Sorry, can I just
grab you a second?
Yeah.
No. You, I am going to
stop for a moment. OK.
Drop.
Queenie, advice.
Mm-hm.
My-My mother, t-terrifying
woman, by the way,
and never wrong,
always used to say,
"Keep one foot on the ground
when two are in the air."
What? Like What, like a
Like a tripod? I've
only got two feet, Gina.
Ah, you're not hearing me. Well,
you've been coming into work late,
tired, wearing the same
outfit two days in a row.
I know Darcy's been
covering for you.
This woman doesn't
miss anything.
Just slow down, Queenie.
I'm not being fast. OK,
well, however you're being
..is this you?
Why don't you take a
couple of days off?
Go away for a long weekend, really
give yourself a proper break.
Why does she think I
can afford to do that?
I'm OK. It-It's
It's better for me to come to work.
I'm not good sitting down at home
with nothing to focus on.
That's when the demons
come knocking, so
OK, well, the offer stands.
And trust me,
you are going to have to face up
to those demons at some point.
And until then, I have alcohol.
Just walk with me. It's
fine. Darcy, it's not that
Sorry. I'm fine, Darcy.
Hi, Ted? Hi. Sorry.
Um, I think she might've had an
allergic reaction to something.
No, Darcy, it's
fine. Can you just
Look, can you just watch
her while I get some water?
Yeah, sure. Thank
you. Sorry. Oh, sure.
Honestly, I'm
OK, OK. Are you OK?
I'm so good.
You sure, mate?
Yes. Yes, I'm fine. I'm
I'm good. Hey, oi,
it's all right.
Let's get you home, eh?
Sure. Um Um, tell me.
It's, um
It's 13B Renaissance Road.
No.
No, that's SHE SIGHS
That's Tom's place.
Don't type that in. Um
OK.
It's 34 Osbourne Road.
Um
Ted, can you just Can you figure
out the rest, cos Yeah, OK.
Yeah. Right, let's, um Let's
get you some air, all right? Yeah.
We're gonna work it out
outside. Come on. OK.
There we go.
All right. Hold on. All right.
All right? Here we go. Mm-hm.
I'm gonna take you home, yeah?
No.
They're gone? Yeah.
OK.
MUSIC: I'm Not Perfect (But I'm
Trying) by Rachel Chinouriri
Watch your step.
I'm just gonna take your
shoes off, all right?
Ted? Yeah?
I can't sit on the bed
in my outside clothes.
Oh, OK. OK. All
right. All right.
Oh!
You good?
All right.
Oh, OK. All right.
HE MUMBLES TO SELF
BELL RINGING KNOCKING ON DOOR
SHE GROANS
"Drink a lot of this
and take those"?
"See you Monday. Kiss."
PHONE BUZZES
SHE SIGHS
BELL RINGS
KNOCKING ON DOOR
Fuck.
You forgot you was meant to be
looking after me today, innit?
No, I didn't.
Why would you think
that? SHE SUCKS TEETH
God forgive me if I
vomit on this small girl.
You not gonna get dressed, nah?
Nope.
Cuz, you know you ain't
got no food in your yard?
Cos man don't eat
here much still.
Ew. Is that how they used
to speak in the '80s?
The '80s? What? I
was born in the '90s.
Wait, how old do
you think I am? Mm.
All right, cool. Relax. Relax.
Well, do you wanna go to
a restaurant or something?
No. Grandma gave us
money to eat, innit?
Oh. So Grandma probably
knows that I'm broke too.
Food's here. Already? This
girl don't mess about.
TV BLARES
MAN ON TV: So when
I was a little you,
everyone used to
call me Fireman
Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah.
MESSAGE TONE
Why you airing your mum?
It's personal. You
wouldn't understand.
I'm 15. I understand everything.
You, on the other hand,
your life's looking a bit
..messy.
No, it's not.
Really?
Maybe she's right.
Time to set some intentions.
Now that I'm in
this thing with Guy,
I need to put the dating
apps on ice for a bit.
Don't drink, especially
on an empty stomach.
Don't vape either. You're
literally sucking a battery.
Also need to stop
thinking about To
..men, and instead, spend
actual real-life time
with my friends, rather
than updating them
with all my sexual
moves in the group chat.
This is quickly becoming
The Queenie Show.
Kyaz Kyaz.
Do you know how cold it
is? You lot are jokers.
I've been standing here chattering
my teeth like a dickhead.
You lot take the piss.
Hold on a second. Why
are you all in heels?
Oh, it's so nice
to meet you in IRL.
You never told me
she was so friendly.
This is going well.
And how do you pronounce
your name again? Kyazike.
Right. So it's like
Cesca, like Francesca?
No. It's like my name,
not the Western one.
Right, OK. Come on
then, fashion killers.
We need to find a good
spot in the park before
the fireworks start,
so Yes let's, uh
Look, I think
realistically, bar?
Nope. I know where we're
going. Let's go, girls.
Let's, let's go.
Kay.
Call me later,
yeah? Yeah, yeah.
Kyaz. And how are you and
your boyfriend, Darcy?
Oh, yeah. Good, thanks.
Um, we actually moved in
together a couple of months ago.
Still a few teething problems,
but I'm sure we'll be
all right. You know?
Interesting. And how long
have you been together?
Uh, well, coming up six years.
Wow. Hear that, Queenie?
Six whole years and they're
still having teething problems.
Maybe next time you should wait
a bit longer before
moving in with a partner.
Oh, well, I'm not really
sure it's the same thing.
Sorry. I'm not being mean,
just being practical.
You must have a man, then? Since
you're the relationship expert.
I do, actually.
What? What, a whole a whole
boyfriend? You kept that quiet.
Yeah, well, it
happened very quickly.
But when you know,
you know. You know?
You're right. Come on.
I told him I wasn't expecting
to meet someone so forward,
and he laughed and asked me
if we wanted to go for coffee.
So we did. Mm.
And, uh, no girlfriend drop, which
obviously, I was waiting for.
Anyway, so coffee
turned into dinner,
and then dinner turned into
him walking me home. Ooh.
He walked her home?
What if I wanna live in
the romcom Cassandra's in?
What's the girlfriend drop?
OK. It's when a man, even if
he's the one who approached you,
has to find a way to let you
know he has a girlfriend.
So like, "See how
the sky is blue?"
"That's my girlfriend's
favourite colour."
CHUCKLING: Right, OK.
Or like,
"I can't tell you
the time right now
"because my girlfriend's
borrowing my watch."
Yeah. Thanks, Kyazike.
Oh. Thank you.
This is gonna put hairs
on your chest. What is it?
Don't think, just drink.
Mm-hm.
Oh. That's strong.
Anyway, so, we have so
many common interests.
It's actually one of the
strongest connections
I've ever had with a man.
Second time we had sex, Guy
told me he was a BDSM king.
I'd much rather a connection
king, to be honest.
I've also decided not to have
penetrative sex with him.
Oh. OK.
Why are you denying
yourself like that?
I'm not denying
myself of anything.
Queenie, didn't you say
you were seeing someone?
Really? No. What? No.
The anal guy? I mean, nobody
special, just a few very non
non-special guys. It's not
even worth talking about.
But you know, just, the sex
is, uh, the sex is good.
Hmm. He could slow down on the
domination and submission stuff.
You still feel like this is the
best way to distract yourself?
Well, it's better than doing yoga
with you. I nearly died last time.
Why don't we start dating
black guys, Queenie?
Like, throw some
melanin in the mix.
It's not as easy as that.
Look, I'm sure we're
all very sex positive,
but maybe sex isn't the best way
to feel better about
yourself, you know?
This "spending time with real-life
friends" thing is really backfiring.
Do you know what,
guys? I'm good.
Sex is not the only
thing that I'm doing, OK?
Can we just watch the fireworks?
OK. Well, as long
as you're happy.
I'm happy.
Well. I will be
..one of these days.
Kyazike, I love your shoes.
Thank you, Cassandra.
You know what?
I'm gonna hook you
up with my shoe guy.
Don't ask where they came from,
just know that they're
mainly legit. Promise
I'll get him to be
gentle this time.
More
..intimate.
HE SIGHS
I thought you were
gonna stay over.
Why would I stay? I'm
not your boyfriend.
Wow. And there I was secretly
hoping that this fun might turn into
more than just fucking.
Yeah, you're right.
Well, that was fun.
Let me know when you
wanna do it again.
Yeah, sure thing.
HE SLAPS HER
Who knew having fun would
stop being fun so quickly?
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow,
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
SHE GRUNTS
This isn't what I signed up for.
So, what have you been up
to since I last saw you?
How do I answer that one?
Just, you know, just the usual.
Now let's look at
getting this coil out
and replacing it
with another one.
Is the new one gonna work?
SIGHS
Ow.
Queenie, there's quite a
lot of vaginal tearing.
Too much for me to feel
comfortable continuing.
What?
Has something happened, Queenie?
No No, I had, I had
sex last night, but
I'm sorry to ask this
so frankly, but
..are you in an abusive
relationship, Queenie?
I would never be that person.
I would never be like her.
WOMAN LAUGHING
MAN: I told you how much I
hate it when you do that.
WOMAN: What, laugh?
Do you think I find it funny?
Sorry, Roy. Uh,
Queenie, go upstairs.
No No, let her stay down here
since she loves her mother so much.
No, no. Please.
Please, what?
No, sh she's
my daughter, Roy.
GASPS, PANTS
Mum?