Queer Eye: Germany (2022) s01e03 Episode Script
Football's Coming Out
1
A NETFLIX SERIES
-Okay, guys, are you ready?
-Yeah!
Yay!
-Okay, shush.
I'll read it.
-Okay.
We're going to meet Nils in Hagen.
-To Hagen? -To Hagen.
-In the Ruhr? -That's in the Ruhr valley.
The Ruhr valley makes me think of bricks, think of chimneys.
I think of an industrial look.
I think it's awesome.
Such a sexy vibe.
Okay, the Ruhr area is definitely dirty.
Keep driving! Ooh, I'm excited! Nils is 22 years old and is a baker by trade.
A baker! What I like about baking is that you can express yourself and do whatever it is that comes into your mind.
And this creativity is really fun for me in this job.
So he knows how to work with dough.
-He can make tasty buns.
-And knead.
Okay, what else? In his free time, he's a passionate soccer coach.
Wow! -Falke? -A soccer coach? -Okay⦠-Not Falke, Schalke! Falke's good too.
For fashion.
Isn't the Ruhr area known for soccer? Yeah, BVB! Soccer is really important to me.
I think I'd say it's my life.
I've been a volunteer coach for six years, and I have a great time teaching the kids and bringing smiles to their faces.
Nils still lives in his childhood bedroom at his parents' house.
-Whoa, what? At 22? -Yeah.
-Okay.
-I'm excited.
Does he have stuffed toys? What I like about still living at home is that I'm close to my parents and my siblings, and we can all be around each other.
I'm a real family person.
I hope this wont make me cry.
That's always my problem too.
Is that why I always have to do it? -Yes, definitely.
-Yeah? Moving out is also a big step, and somehow that just hasn't happened for me yet.
Oh, he can stay if he wants.
He has to decide for himself if he really wants it.
In Turkish families like mine, you don't move out until you're⦠-Married? -â¦married.
Wow.
But then, how did you⦠how did you get out of there? -Or do you still live at home? -Actually I still live at home! I don't know if I'm ready yet.
Nils prefers to let other people choose his clothes rather than relying on his own tastes.
-Oh.
-Okay.
But why? I don't like the way most clothes look on me, and I listen a lot to other people's opinions, and then they come and help me pick things that I might like, because I can be really indecisive, and I don't know what looks good.
It sounds to me like Nils hasn't found his own style yet, listening to that.
My life is kind of guided by what other people think of me rather than my own thoughts.
And, yeah, that can be tough sometimes.
Okay dear friends, brace yourselves.
 Nils is gay.
-Yass, queen! -Wait, what? -Yes! -But, how, what, gay and a soccer coach? -That's crazy, right? -Yeah.
"He's not out.
" "Nils is afraid to open up to his parents and friends.
" Dang.
The worst that could happen is that they don't let me coach anymore, that parents or management don't want me in the club anymore.
-What else does Nils like to do? -He recently fell in love.
-Isn't that sweet? -It's spring.
Come out! That makes it all so⦠The sun is shining.
Love is in the air.
Of course, only a very few people know about it.
Even close friends of mine don't know.
He doesn't talk about his love life with us at all.
Although I enjoy poking at him to try and find out.
But⦠no chance.
Nils was nominated by his coworker Sebastian.
He's the only person Nils has told so far.
I nominated Nils because he should come out⦠SEBASTIAN NILS' BEST FRIEND â¦and finally stop hiding who he is.
Oh, Sebastian! A confidant.
-Yeah, but just one.
-Yeah.
-But here come five more.
-That's right.
Coming out will definitely help him gain some confidence.
It will help him loosen up, be stronger, and be more open.
I don't want to hide from people anymore.
I want to be open about it.
That's my biggest goal in life.
Our mission, take Nils off the sidelines and give him the courage to live as he truly wants.
In other words⦠CHAPTER 1 A VISIT TO MOMMY HOTEL There's a queer wall here.
I love little towns.
They're always so cute, right? I think Germany has more to offer than people think.
Look, I think we're getting close.
We're almost there.
-Careful, my son.
-I'm being careful.
-God, I'm so excited! -It's beeping! Come! -Come! -Wait! I have to put on my hat.
Get down! Okay.
-There he is! -Shh, get down! He saw us! Okay, he's already seen us.
Let's go in.
-Hello! -Hi! -Can I hug you? -Yes, come here.
-I'm Ayan.
Nice to meet you! -Nils, hi! -Hi, I'm Nils.
-Aljosha, nice to meet you.
-Hi! -I'm Leni.
Hi! -I'm Jan-Henrik.
-Nils.
Hello! -Hey.
-Nils.
Hello.
Nils is a really cool, friendly guy.
I can't wait to see how he lives.
Come in! -House tour! -Oh my God, he's so cute! -Which way? Here? -Yeah.
-We're coming to destroy everything.
-Formation! Yeah, come in.
Have a look around.
There are stuffed animals! Wow.
I'm having a flashback.
This is really the room of a teen boy.
Nils, come join us! Jump in.
Jan-Henrik, you too.
Okay.
-Come, Jan! -Me too! Come here! Don't kill the boy.
-Oh, look, ducks.
-Or geese? I have no idea.
A home tells a lot.
The first thing I'm noticing is inconspicuous clothing.
This is just-- This color can go away.
This is going away.
Come on, T-shirts can be ironed too.
I iron everything, from my shirt to my underwear, and then also my forehead and hair.
You're a fan of Calvin Klein? -Yeah⦠I became one, I guess.
-Yeah? There's a story behind that.
-Oh? -I had a boyfriend.
My ex, right? And he really loved Calvin Klein.
So it reminds you of your ex-boyfriend.
-Yeah.
-It's going away.
What we're looking at now, is this Nils? No, other people picked this stuff out for me.
Nils seems really removed from himself.
From the real Nils.
The person he is, and maybe who he really wants to be.
Okay, this is all a pretty generic mishmash.
Yeah, I want to dress in a normal way that doesn't stand out.
And what scares you about being "abnormal"? -That-- -What would that mean? That lots of people could tell at first glance that I'm gay, for example.
I'd like to⦠conceal that.
-To conceal it? -Yeah.
-In the future as well? -No, not in the future.
I want Nils' clothing to out him.
To out him as Nils.
Help! I am David.
Desperately searching for beauty products.
Then I see it.
Pomade.
I slowly open it.
It's unused.
That was a present from my parents, who tell me I should make a little more effort.
This is a silly question, but when you look at yourself, what crosses your mind? I usually think that I look very unattractive, I'd say.
-Unattractive? -Yeah.
-Oh, can I hold your hands? -Sure, anything.
And since I had the breakup and I've been alone, you ask yourself why that is.
Is it because of my appearance? And I often answer that with "yes," or look in the mirror-- -You tell yourself that? -Yes.
I've looked in the mirror and said that I can understand why no one wants me, basically.
That's what I say or think about myself.
There's a big difference between what you see and what others see.
-We're going to change that.
-I'm really excited.
-I love how open you are.
-Of course.
What's it like living with your parents? Living here⦠it's comfortable, of course.
There are a lot of advantages that I like.
-Mommy Hotel, sure.
-She doesn't do everything for me though.
It has its limits, too, though, doesn't it? -You have to abide by their rules.
-Right.
You don't have full freedom.
What's that like? You always have to ask permission, and eventually you reach a point where you maybe don't want to anymore.
Have you reached it? I've been thinking recently about whether or not to move out.
But I feel like I'm not confident enough to really take that step.
I can understand why Nils doesn't want to be alone and is maybe afraid of that.
Who wants to be alone? But if we want to grow up, that's part of life.
I love kitchens.
Do you like kitchens? I don't use them, but I think they're pretty.
Vanilla and chocolate! -Yes, that's⦠-800 grams⦠okay.
Is this Nils'? Oh, good question.
It's a real pudding party in that fridge.
I love pudding too.
I maybe wouldn't bathe in it, but that's enough pudding for the whole family to bathe in.
Why do you have these lights? It's because I like to go to festivals.
I'm a festival person.
Parties, festivals⦠Full of people you don't know.
-Getting away from normal life, yeah? -Yeah, being a bit free.
Being free.
Enjoying yourself.
Doing what you want without worrying if there's someone who knows you.
Just partying and having fun.
What you're saying and what your life is here⦠-They don't go together.
-â¦they don't fit.
I'm struggling a bit here.
Nils likes this Dutch theme.
He likes lights.
He likes his shisha corner.
I'm going to combine it all into a unified theme that knocks his socks off.
What do you do for your mental health? Well, I'm a soccer coach, and that makes me really happy, of course.
I'm really absorbed by that.
But you aren't out to the people at the club.
-No, nowhere.
-Only your best friend.
-Right.
-Okay.
I took the night shift at the bakery because of soccer, so I always have time to train or offer training.
The kid always works nights.
I know how difficult and stressful that is for your body and your mind.
And is there something in particular where you think, "This is the part of soccer that really makes me happy"? Sure, the way you feel valued and sort of needed by people.
And what if you could bring this feeling into other areas? Like, imagine you could come home and you don't have to pretend, and you get the same reactions just for being yourself.
That would also be really good, but⦠-Let's make it happen.
-Yeah.
I sort of feel like he's still stuck in his childhood.
Of course it's partly that he's still living at home, and he really needs to get out.
It's so important for young adults that they leave their parents' house and really develop themselves.
-You know? -We need to get him out of here.
So we have a plan.
Let's go.
I'm super excited, and I want to find Nils his own place.
You said there's a park up left where we can walk? Yes, there's also a little playground.
-Oh, you've got it nice here.
-Yeah.
I'd like to know when you realized you were gay.
I realized pretty early, at ten years old, that there was something different about me, but I didn't really figure it out until two years ago, when I met my ex-boyfriend.
That's when I developed a lot of feelings, and then I knew for sure.
Can I ask what's stopped you so far from being open about it? You get scared about how people will react, whether it's my parents or the soccer people or friends.
My boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the beach on vacation.
And there were lots of tears, mine, his⦠And we were sitting there, and in the background we just heard, "Look at the faggots," stuff like that, and that stays in your head.
I think what we need to work on this week is you finding the courage to finally take this step.
To open up to your parents, open up to your friends, and you'll see that things will be so much better for you afterward.
-Yeah.
-We'll get there.
Definitely.
We had a great time, Nils.
I hope you did too.
We'll continue tomorrow.
-Thanks so much.
-Thank you.
-You have a big heart.
-My pleasure.
-Bye.
-Come out here, Nils.
-See you tomorrow.
Bye! -See you! -Bye! -Bye! I want Nils to come out of his shell a bit and understand that being out is a good thing.
It will make him freer and happier, and he can start a new chapter of his life, regardless of what anyone says.
I want to give Nils the opportunity to listen to his heart.
He needs to be able to develop, grow, and find his feet.
That's going to be hard in his childhood bedroom.
He needs his own place.
I want Nils to feel secure that he can be himself on the soccer field and know that he isn't alone.
I want him to understand that there are other people who have been through this and come out better on the other side.
I want Nils to understand that his self-image is different from how other people see him.
I want him to see what I see.
A young man with a lot of charm and radiance and so much love to give.
My mission is to show Nils a world in which he can choose the things that he wants.
Color, shape⦠everything that goes with it.
I want to show him that's where the fun is.
CHAPTER 2 -After you.
-Thank you.
Nils has never chosen anything for himself.
People have always gone with him and told him, "This looks good on you.
" But that wasn't Nils.
When I go with Nils, I'm not going to point things out.
I'm going to let him wander around and see what he goes for.
The idea here is that you need to take what's in here and let it out.
I'd like to be a bit more colorful.
I've wanted to try some new things, or something like that⦠I like that as well.
Something green⦠I'll make sure afterward that they fit you and help you in putting outfits together, but first and foremost, we want to see who Nils is.
So feel free.
I'd like something like this, or like that⦠-Yeah, let's go look over there.
-Yeah? In my opinion, you're somewhere between L and XL.
It's always hard to figure out which size is going to fit right.
Sometimes when I order online, which I don't do a lot, I'll order a size up so I know I can definitely fit in it.
Let's not do that anymore.
-We want it to fit.
-Right.
Yes, I can see you in this.
This could work.
-Really? -Yes.
-Got everything? -Yes.
-Excited? -Definitely.
Okay, let's go.
Come over here.
Yeah.
-Nice.
Don't you think? -Yes.
-The shirt? -I've never tucked it in before.
It's new for me, and it looks good, I think.
It really shows off his athlete's legs and butt.
He can wear more tight-fitting clothes.
Until now, he's been buying everything much too big.
If you were to go out like this, would people see Nils? -The real Nils? -Yeah.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Promise? -Definitely.
Okay.
It looks good.
How about this? Is that too much? No, the colors work together, and the scarf is really nice.
Nils can wear this to official events, to family celebrations, and even his next date.
It fits on your shoulders, great.
It's close-fitting, but not too tight or restrictive.
Right, but you can see-- A body.
There's a body in here.
Yeah.
Good man.
But those glasses need some work.
They don't work for him at all.
-I thought we might use these.
-Yeah? There.
What do you think? Good, yeah.
I think it's better.
But the question is, is it really Nils? Yes, I think it works with my head shape.
They aren't just a different size and shape.
The color and frames complement his eyes and open up his face.
-And? Color.
-Color, definitely.
-Color.
-I like it a lot.
-Yeah? -The white especially, and with the red.
-It looks really good.
-I agree.
I think it screams "summer.
" You know what it screams? Festival.
Look here.
-If you hate it, you have to tell me.
-Let me look.
-You know what else I have for you? -What? You can put your festival tickets in it.
-And my money.
-Through here.
Your money too.
I don't get why you've been asking other people what to wear.
-You have good taste! -Yeah.
-It was all there.
-Yeah, you just have to⦠believe in it.
-Have to do it.
-I hope you have the confidence now.
Nils knows now that he can rely on his own taste.
He picked the colors and materials all by himself, and they work well.
Nils lives in a wonderful, comfortable nest, but I can sense his lust for freedom and taking that step toward adulthood.
Girls! I've got it! What is it? -You're so excited! -I am! Lemme see! -Yes! -I found it.
The perfect first apartment for Nils.
-Show.
-It's still a little⦠It's not done.
It needs some fine tuning.
What? No, we're renovating it.
Oh.
-But that's what you're here for! -It looks a bit grandma-esque.
-But we're gonna make it really nice.
-It'll be great.
I can't wait.
Even though my own memories aren't great, I want to see what Nils' second home feels like.
-Look at where we are.
-Yeah, the tunnel for Borussia Dortmund.
Being here is always a special feeling.
-It's really good.
-Wow.
-Definitely impressive.
-Huge.
And you can imagine what it's like when all the seats are full and everyone's cheering.
It's really impressive.
How do you feel here? What does it do for you? I feel really⦠free.
Like I'm home.
-This is my favorite team.
-I think it's great.
But at the same time, I notice that you can't really be the Nils you want to be here in this arena or at practice because you aren't out.
Exactly.
It's a big problem in soccer in general.
And I'm really⦠afraid to come out in this community, in soccer in general.
I'm afraid people in the fan scene will say dumb or hateful things.
And that really takes a toll on you.
It definitely does.
I experienced that too.
I was only on a team for two to four weeks.
It was a long time ago.
And I was traumatized by the toxic atmosphere.
I was really⦠I was bullied heavily just for being different, for not fitting into the mold the way people expected.
I tried to like soccer.
I tried to like beer.
I tried all the things people call "manly," just to somehow fit into society.
It's reminded me again, now that I know you, how important it is to have role models who can show you it's okay to be this way.
There is not a single active player in Germany who's openly gay.
For a sport that is so important in this country and has such a presence here, what does that say about our society? So I thought it would be really nice to show you somebody, bring someone who was in a similar situation and can tell you what he went through.
So I invited Mario here to meet you.
Mario Müller is a soccer coach who came out several years ago and was in the same situation Nils is now.
I came out in my soccer life eight years ago.
I was coaching under 19's, a youth team, and it was a really tough step to take.
One of the things I experienced was, um, people comparing homosexuality to pedophilia.
That was the worst reaction, and sometimes I just had to tolerate it and not get invested.
You have the team to support you in those situations, but it might happen.
Here's a tip that may help.
Try to get the team management on board with you.
I told the team in the locker room before practice, and the management team came with me.
They had my back and told the players if anyone has a problem with it, that's okay, but it isn't a problem for us, so you'll have to go find another club.
If you're out and then probably feeling freer, you can bring a lot more joy onto the field.
Because you're being you, right? I also think it doesn't matter who you love, right? Because this is about soccer.
It would make me happy if I got a lot of positive reactions to it.
Enjoy those feelings.
It's really important to have role models, people with similar life stories.
That's what Mario is for Nils.
I'm really impressed with Mario.
After this talk, I feel like I can do anything, all the things I want.
Honestly, me too.
It inspired me as well.
I'm so glad.
-Fingers crossed for you.
-Thanks.
-Thanks so much.
One more hug.
-Of course.
-Glad I could help.
-Thank you.
-Trust yourself.
Be yourself.
-I will.
-Bye! -Bye and thank you! I think Nils had this idea that there was only one way this could go, and it was always bad.
And to have someone stand before you and say, "Hey, I did it.
It wasn't easy, but it's okay now, and I can be who I am, and I'm free," that gave Nils a lot of strength.
I want Nils to feel free and at ease in his home.
I want him to have friends around him and live how he wants.
Nils' first apartment will be in a great neighborhood in Wuppertal, close to his work, and Sebastian is right around the corner.
It's perfect.
I'm so excited to show Nils the possibilities.
He's a bit "hm," and he just needs to know why.
I'm ready and very excited.
It's a bit⦠when you let someone change your hair, you have to trust them, and I trust you.
Completely.
You're so sweet! Nils is unsure about his appearance.
And the thing is, you style yourself for you.
Sure, it affects others' opinions, but also affects your own.
That's what I'll teach him.
I want to get away from this roundness.
I want corners.
More masculine, more edgy, which will look great for your face.
Really difficult hair.
Pretty fine, but lots, and it stands up.
I need to cut with scissors so it grows out nicely.
If I use a trimmer, he'll be a hedgehog.
Can't do that.
What's important to you in a relationship? My definition of "relationship" is that both people trust each other, that you spend a lot of time together, of course that you cuddle together⦠Oh, I love cuddling! Don't you also want to walk down the street holding hands? Like when you meet people, to go, "Hey, look!" "This is the person that's really close to me.
" Right? "This is my partner.
" Yeah, that makes sense.
When you first fall in love, you want to tell the whole world, right? And I kind of do that, but I'm also lying at the same time.
The official version is always that I have a girlfriend.
No! Anything's better than lying.
I told my mom at age 12, and she was like, "Sweetie, I knew when you were a toddler.
" All this hiding will be over soon.
I can't-- I could cry now just thinking about it.
There must be something you like about your face.
-That I think looks good? -Yeah.
-My smile, definitely.
-Yes, 100%.
I think it's nice.
What else do you like? Start at the top.
Do you like your eyebrows? Not really.
-You don't? Why not? -I don't know.
You know what I do? I shave my eyebrows off, just to spend 20-30 minutes every day painting them back on to look like yours.
I hate my teeth.
I think they're truly horrible.
But lots of people tell me they aren't that bad.
My opinion against theirs.
Your view of yourself has really nothing to do with your appearance to others, with the way other people see you.
I want him to see what I see.
-You take about this much.
-Okay.
And I want the product to really get in everywhere.
And then I make my fingers like I'm sprinkling seasoning on a dish.
Or⦠flour on dough.
My God! Let me put my glasses on.
Nils! It looks really hot, if I may say so.
I don't think I've ever had such an attractive haircut.
And I'm saying that about myself in the mirror.
It was great to see him look at himself and think⦠CHAPTER 3 SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO MEET THE CHALLENGE I feel that Nils isn't sure yet what his design style is or his style in general is.
My plan is to show him what it is that creates a sense of style.
If I were to set up my own place, if I look at what I feel and want, it would be sort of modern, so more modern stuff⦠Puritan modern or over-decorated modern? I don't know what the first one is.
So it would be more sleek and reserved.
Those are cool! -I've always wanted a beanbag chair.
-Yeah? Oh hey! I'd also like, if I'm setting up a new place, to not just have my clothes be a bit more colorful, but my room as well.
-Let's go over and-- -Go further and look, yeah! Look, that's to my taste.
Not so much mine.
But this is also nice.
Look.
I also like this color.
It's a darker hue.
I mean, gray is kinda dark, but this is still bright.
Like, if I had a fully black couch, that would be too dark, but this is gray and still somehow light.
A neutral color, yeah? If we find a nice base color, a neutral base, he can play around with it and have fun.
Give me your hand! Come! Yay! This is a nice colorful bed.
Yeah, lots of colors.
Is this what you meant? This is actually a bit too much.
I want it to be colorful but still⦠tasteful, I don't know.
I have a better idea what he likes now.
That will help me design his new apartment.
-Good! -For now, let's have some fun.
Come on, this is ruining your hair.
David will kill me.
I'm so excited about how I'm going to surprise you with the apartment, and of course I've taken your wishes into account.
Coming out is a big step.
I know that Nils is ready.
He just needs that last spark of courage.
I'm gonna give him a little push.
Look up there.
Yes, okay.
Any guesses what we're doing today? Maybe rappelling down from up there? No idea.
We're going to climb it together.
Climb? Oh, okay.
-Yes.
And wanna know a secret? -What? -I'm afraid of heights.
-Me too.
-You too? -Yeah, really.
Nils, sometimes it's a good idea to face your fears.
And afterward you find it wasn't actually so bad.
I'm excited.
It will be a challenge, but I'll try to take it on.
Come here.
Doing it fills you with euphoria and confidence.
And that's what I want to tease out of Nils.
-How high? -That's up to you, Nils.
I'd like to make it up 70 feet.
-I'm calling that a goal.
-Definitely.
Of course my legs are trembling and my hands are sweaty, but to be honest, at the end of the day, it's also super fun.
I'm sure this will be great.
How are you doing, Nils? I'm good.
A bit wobbly on the ladder, isn't it? Yeah, it is.
-You can do it, Nils! -Yeah.
Remember, -when we get up there⦠-Yeah? â¦it's going to be so great.
-Take all the time you need.
-Yeah.
Take deep breaths.
-Everything okay up there? -Yeah.
It's a little⦠My legs have gone a bit soft.
If you lose your nerve, there's always someone to catch you.
Are you already there? Yes, I don't know where you are though! -Come, you can take one more step.
-Yes.
-Don't worry.
I'm right behind you.
-I'm okay.
Whoa.
-Okay, that's enough.
-Enough for you? Definitely.
Got it, okay.
Do you want to enjoy the view before we go back down? Yeah, you don't get to do this every day, and it's special.
Not many people can say that they had such a view.
It's really good.
Wow, right? Going up wasn't so bad, but let's see about going down, you know? -Goodness gracious.
-Come on, let's-- Yeah, I think I'll-- Look, it's cool.
Oh, fuck you! Help! -Come, let's fly some more.
-Sure.
Oh God.
We did it! Oh my God.
There's a sense of relief now, you know? And you know what? You even surpassed your own goal.
I think that's great, and it was with your help.
How cool.
-Really good, yeah.
-Super cool.
-And now we need a cocktail to relax.
-Yes.
-Come on.
-Let's go.
We came to you with a goal in mind.
For you to open up to your parents and your family.
When you have the courage to take this final step and say, "Hey, I can do this.
" "I'll tell my parents how I feel and who I am," I know that will be such a relief.
I am coming-out-approved because I came out twice.
As a teen, I thought I was gay, and several years later it became apparent to me that I identify as non-binary.
And⦠I have to say, my friends reacted really well to my coming out, and so did my family, but I still experience discrimination in my day-to-day.
Do you need any tips? How do you start that conversation? You can go to your parents and say, "I got so much from this week," we restyled your hair, you got new outfits, but there's something else you'd like to talk to them about.
And it's about you as a person, what you feel, the way you are feeling, your own identity.
And that's how you could start the conversation.
That's really good advice.
And I'm going to follow through and put it into practice.
Should I come with you? Or would you rather take this step on your own? I'd like to do it alone because I've learned that I need to overcome my own fears on my own too.
And I haven't had so much confidence before in my whole life.
Nils wants to take this final step by himself.
I think that's awesome.
It definitely shows how strong Nils really is.
I gave him that final push, and I'll say to myself⦠CHAPTER 4 WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS Hello! Awesome! Hello! How was it? -Really good.
Yeah.
-Yeah? -Did you do it? -Yes.
Yes? It's all out? -Your parents know? -They do.
-Amazing! -Thank you! -How are you feeling? -Definitely relieved.
Great.
Hey, he told his parents! -Tell us! -What happened? My dad already suspected because my ex used to come over so often.
"Your buddy.
" My dad also said that he wouldn't have lain in bed with a male friend at the age of 20, so he kind of suspected.
My mom didn't, but he did.
-Nice! -We're so proud of you! I have so many different emotions now that Nils-- I'm really proud.
I feel like a soccer mom for Nils.
I'm also impressed with him for following through.
-I'm sure you're wondering why we're here.
-I am.
I'm really excited.
Come, I want to show you something.
-Look what it says.
-My name.
-Ring the bell.
-Okay.
-See what happens.
-My heart is pounding.
Okay? Now let's go up and answer the door.
Oh, my heart.
Come, after you! We really did everything we could to just give you the confidence to take that step toward an independent life.
A life where Nils can be Nils.
Where he can be who you want.
A Nils who can be openly gay.
I have something for you.
I can give you this key.
You have to decide if you want it or whether you'd rather live with your parents.
I'm ready for new beginnings.
All new everything.
-So you'll take this key from me? -I'm so excited.
I don't know if I can put the key in.
My hands might be shaking too much.
Okay, I'll help.
-Come.
-Okay, we'll do it together.
So⦠-There.
And now turn it.
-Yes.
-Wait, my heart.
-You can do it.
Wait⦠Go! Oh my God! -My heart.
-You like it? It looks so good in here.
I'm weeping inside.
I just don't know how to show it.
It looks like a showroom from the store we were in.
It also had these, like, pre-built pieces.
-You wanted a bit of color.
-Yeah.
-Look at this.
-Oh yeah, sweet! Really good.
I don't know what to say.
-Let it sink in.
-Okay.
The lamps, really awesome.
-Awesome? -Yes.
I usually talk a lot, but now I don't know what to⦠Wow! My heart⦠-It's really nice.
-Wow! Wow, it looks so neat and tidy.
Just amazing.
-It should stay that way.
Neat.
-Yeah.
Well-- -Mommy Hotel is over.
-No! Yes.
That closet, I don't think I've ever⦠Lots of storage space.
â¦seen one so big.
It's huge, wow! Really cool.
-Nils⦠-Yeah? Your bathroom.
-Really nice.
-You think? The colors, they match in every room! -You like it? -Yes.
Nice and clean.
Okay, time for the kitchen! Beautiful.
Really high quality and classy.
You realize this is your first own apartment? I don't think I've fully grasped that this really belongs to me now.
-I don't know.
-It's all yours.
Hello? Jump up and down, man! I don't⦠It looks almost exactly as I dreamed it.
It's really amazing.
Just⦠wow, yeah! We all have the desire for freedom and growth within us.
Sometimes you just need a little push in the right direction.
The theme this week has been self-reliance, right? And I said all the stuff you're doing and working nights, you're really straining yourself.
So it's important you understand from a health perspective that night shifts and everything you're doing to yourself in that sense is hard on your body.
A form of stress.
I want you to feel good and do good things for your body.
So I thought these cookbooks were a really good idea, so you can learn short, quick, easy recipes for beginners and get thinking about that so you can nourish your body with lots of antioxidants and vitamins.
Nils, take a look at this view.
Looking out here reminds me of our tower excursion.
Definitely.
Where we felt so free and relieved of our burdens.
I've been sort of reborn, I think.
That's how I feel.
That my life starts now.
-A new beginning.
-Exactly.
It's really amazing.
I'm so glad to hear that.
-Let's enjoy this view for a while.
-Yes, it's beautiful.
Recognize any of it? Yes, definitely.
I've added to it a little.
You were worried about getting too far out there where people could look at you and think, "He might be gay.
" How do you feel now? What are your thoughts? I don't care what other people think anymore.
-That's the important thing.
-I learned that this week.
You don't look gay just for wearing pink, having earrings on both sides, or jeans that are tight.
No, that's not looking gay.
That's looking good.
Let's begin.
Begin! -Whoa! -Awesome! -Fantastic.
And new glasses.
-Definitely.
We can finally see your face.
And your hair looks great.
Spin, please.
-Yes! -Great butt! The details on the shoes too.
The way you carry yourself, you're a new person.
I feel much freer, much more confident, and it's so nice, and⦠I'll be happier to look in the mirror now.
I'll actually look in the mirror.
It's true.
And⦠You have really broad shoulders under there! -Great definition, look! -I'm getting all flustered.
-Wow! -What?! -Ready for festivals.
-Festival! -Amazing! -Wow! Really cool.
-Come in here.
-Really cool festival outfit.
A real raver! I believe this is just the beginning for Nils.
I feel so free in each of these outfits.
Everything feels light and loose.
Much better than my old clothes or than my old life, I mean, as well.
-Yes! -Yes.
-We're so proud of you.
-Yeah? He's just beaming, and it feels real.
It says, "I'm at peace with myself.
" I really want to thank all of you for giving me that push I needed, and I'm really sad you all have to go now.
Because I've grown really fond of you, of each of you.
I'm so proud of you for being so open.
You're a great example for so many others.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, seriously.
You did so well.
You're a role model now as a soccer player and you can keep calling upon that.
-You've got everything we can give you.
-Another group hug! It made me so happy that we could blow a bit of fairy dust into him, and he was suddenly⦠Time to go home! Keep in touch and safe travels.
Thank you, Nils.
-Enjoy yourself.
Ciao! -I will.
-Bye! -Bye! CHAPTER 5 EVERYTHING I KNEAD Guys, I made chocolate nut bars! -Oh, like at Nils'! -I did my best.
-Hey! -Nut bars! -Tasty! -Hey! Later! I can't wait to see how Nils is doing.
-Shall we go watch? -Yes! To the couch.
-After you.
-I have the nut bars! Need help? -No, we're good, thanks! -Thank God.
-He looks so good.
-Yeah, he does.
Hi.
-Hi, Nils.
All good? -Yeah.
-It's Sebastian! -His best friend.
How cute! You look good.
You got a really good style.
-I picked it myself.
-Very nice.
His balcony! -I brought something.
-He matches the beanbag chair.
It's great that you're not hiding anymore, that you're being open about your sexuality.
I think it's really good.
I want to thank you for helping make this possible.
You've done a great job.
My parents will be here soon, and I'm going to kick you out, gently.
But you can come again anytime, of course.
-I'd love to see you.
-Look how happy he is.
-He grinned a lot from the beginning.
-But it wasn't real.
The things he said and expressed didn't match what was going on here.
Absolutely.
And now it matches.
Exactly.
Look, there.
He has to pick for himself.
Jeans or chinos? Ah, the chinos.
Look, he's laying it out.
I told him he needs to picture it as a whole.
-That's one way to do it.
-He's doing just what you said.
Look how hard he's concentrating.
Really get in there.
-Look how he's-- Did you show him that? -Structure! Oh, did you see that smirk? He was like⦠-Hello! -Hello, Nils! We brought you something.
A housewarming gift.
Thank you.
-They brought something! -A present! Yes, come in.
-Into my new home.
-Yes, hello.
Oh, aren't they cute? -Yes.
-So sweet.
Look how healthy and tasty that looks.
He's cooking for his parents.
-Bon appétit.
-Yes.
-Enjoy the meal.
-Absolutely.
You too.
-Thank you! -My pleasure.
-For cooking for us.
-Of course.
This is the first time he's been able to be himself around his parents.
Do you like it? -Yes.
-It's good.
Look at this.
He's come out.
He's cooking for his parents.
It all looks so nice.
I'm glad you both took it so well, what I told you.
-Look how Momma's looking at him! -Aww! She's listening so intently.
Not every parent is so accepting.
And I'm glad I have you.
Yes, that's good.
Did you expect something different? -No, I guess not.
-See? You remain and are our son, and we love you.
That's really nice to hear.
Just like before.
Thank you.
You guys know that I have a boyfriend, and I'll⦠I'll introduce you sometime.
We'd like that.
We'll come by.
He just told them he has a boyfriend, and he wants to introduce them.
Isn't that just incredible? And so casually, like it's completely natural.
-He's come so far.
-That's amazing.
It was his biggest wish, and now it's come true, and it's so lovely to watch.
He was so afraid of being alone.
And now look at how confident and happy he is, now that his parents know and he can talk about his boyfriend, about being gay, and about his new life.
It makes me so happy.
Until next time! Nils! To your great apartment, to your new start.
-Thank you.
-Cheers! Cheers! Subtitle translation by Kel Barksdale
I'll read it.
-Okay.
We're going to meet Nils in Hagen.
-To Hagen? -To Hagen.
-In the Ruhr? -That's in the Ruhr valley.
The Ruhr valley makes me think of bricks, think of chimneys.
I think of an industrial look.
I think it's awesome.
Such a sexy vibe.
Okay, the Ruhr area is definitely dirty.
Keep driving! Ooh, I'm excited! Nils is 22 years old and is a baker by trade.
A baker! What I like about baking is that you can express yourself and do whatever it is that comes into your mind.
And this creativity is really fun for me in this job.
So he knows how to work with dough.
-He can make tasty buns.
-And knead.
Okay, what else? In his free time, he's a passionate soccer coach.
Wow! -Falke? -A soccer coach? -Okay⦠-Not Falke, Schalke! Falke's good too.
For fashion.
Isn't the Ruhr area known for soccer? Yeah, BVB! Soccer is really important to me.
I think I'd say it's my life.
I've been a volunteer coach for six years, and I have a great time teaching the kids and bringing smiles to their faces.
Nils still lives in his childhood bedroom at his parents' house.
-Whoa, what? At 22? -Yeah.
-Okay.
-I'm excited.
Does he have stuffed toys? What I like about still living at home is that I'm close to my parents and my siblings, and we can all be around each other.
I'm a real family person.
I hope this wont make me cry.
That's always my problem too.
Is that why I always have to do it? -Yes, definitely.
-Yeah? Moving out is also a big step, and somehow that just hasn't happened for me yet.
Oh, he can stay if he wants.
He has to decide for himself if he really wants it.
In Turkish families like mine, you don't move out until you're⦠-Married? -â¦married.
Wow.
But then, how did you⦠how did you get out of there? -Or do you still live at home? -Actually I still live at home! I don't know if I'm ready yet.
Nils prefers to let other people choose his clothes rather than relying on his own tastes.
-Oh.
-Okay.
But why? I don't like the way most clothes look on me, and I listen a lot to other people's opinions, and then they come and help me pick things that I might like, because I can be really indecisive, and I don't know what looks good.
It sounds to me like Nils hasn't found his own style yet, listening to that.
My life is kind of guided by what other people think of me rather than my own thoughts.
And, yeah, that can be tough sometimes.
Okay dear friends, brace yourselves.
 Nils is gay.
-Yass, queen! -Wait, what? -Yes! -But, how, what, gay and a soccer coach? -That's crazy, right? -Yeah.
"He's not out.
" "Nils is afraid to open up to his parents and friends.
" Dang.
The worst that could happen is that they don't let me coach anymore, that parents or management don't want me in the club anymore.
-What else does Nils like to do? -He recently fell in love.
-Isn't that sweet? -It's spring.
Come out! That makes it all so⦠The sun is shining.
Love is in the air.
Of course, only a very few people know about it.
Even close friends of mine don't know.
He doesn't talk about his love life with us at all.
Although I enjoy poking at him to try and find out.
But⦠no chance.
Nils was nominated by his coworker Sebastian.
He's the only person Nils has told so far.
I nominated Nils because he should come out⦠SEBASTIAN NILS' BEST FRIEND â¦and finally stop hiding who he is.
Oh, Sebastian! A confidant.
-Yeah, but just one.
-Yeah.
-But here come five more.
-That's right.
Coming out will definitely help him gain some confidence.
It will help him loosen up, be stronger, and be more open.
I don't want to hide from people anymore.
I want to be open about it.
That's my biggest goal in life.
Our mission, take Nils off the sidelines and give him the courage to live as he truly wants.
In other words⦠CHAPTER 1 A VISIT TO MOMMY HOTEL There's a queer wall here.
I love little towns.
They're always so cute, right? I think Germany has more to offer than people think.
Look, I think we're getting close.
We're almost there.
-Careful, my son.
-I'm being careful.
-God, I'm so excited! -It's beeping! Come! -Come! -Wait! I have to put on my hat.
Get down! Okay.
-There he is! -Shh, get down! He saw us! Okay, he's already seen us.
Let's go in.
-Hello! -Hi! -Can I hug you? -Yes, come here.
-I'm Ayan.
Nice to meet you! -Nils, hi! -Hi, I'm Nils.
-Aljosha, nice to meet you.
-Hi! -I'm Leni.
Hi! -I'm Jan-Henrik.
-Nils.
Hello! -Hey.
-Nils.
Hello.
Nils is a really cool, friendly guy.
I can't wait to see how he lives.
Come in! -House tour! -Oh my God, he's so cute! -Which way? Here? -Yeah.
-We're coming to destroy everything.
-Formation! Yeah, come in.
Have a look around.
There are stuffed animals! Wow.
I'm having a flashback.
This is really the room of a teen boy.
Nils, come join us! Jump in.
Jan-Henrik, you too.
Okay.
-Come, Jan! -Me too! Come here! Don't kill the boy.
-Oh, look, ducks.
-Or geese? I have no idea.
A home tells a lot.
The first thing I'm noticing is inconspicuous clothing.
This is just-- This color can go away.
This is going away.
Come on, T-shirts can be ironed too.
I iron everything, from my shirt to my underwear, and then also my forehead and hair.
You're a fan of Calvin Klein? -Yeah⦠I became one, I guess.
-Yeah? There's a story behind that.
-Oh? -I had a boyfriend.
My ex, right? And he really loved Calvin Klein.
So it reminds you of your ex-boyfriend.
-Yeah.
-It's going away.
What we're looking at now, is this Nils? No, other people picked this stuff out for me.
Nils seems really removed from himself.
From the real Nils.
The person he is, and maybe who he really wants to be.
Okay, this is all a pretty generic mishmash.
Yeah, I want to dress in a normal way that doesn't stand out.
And what scares you about being "abnormal"? -That-- -What would that mean? That lots of people could tell at first glance that I'm gay, for example.
I'd like to⦠conceal that.
-To conceal it? -Yeah.
-In the future as well? -No, not in the future.
I want Nils' clothing to out him.
To out him as Nils.
Help! I am David.
Desperately searching for beauty products.
Then I see it.
Pomade.
I slowly open it.
It's unused.
That was a present from my parents, who tell me I should make a little more effort.
This is a silly question, but when you look at yourself, what crosses your mind? I usually think that I look very unattractive, I'd say.
-Unattractive? -Yeah.
-Oh, can I hold your hands? -Sure, anything.
And since I had the breakup and I've been alone, you ask yourself why that is.
Is it because of my appearance? And I often answer that with "yes," or look in the mirror-- -You tell yourself that? -Yes.
I've looked in the mirror and said that I can understand why no one wants me, basically.
That's what I say or think about myself.
There's a big difference between what you see and what others see.
-We're going to change that.
-I'm really excited.
-I love how open you are.
-Of course.
What's it like living with your parents? Living here⦠it's comfortable, of course.
There are a lot of advantages that I like.
-Mommy Hotel, sure.
-She doesn't do everything for me though.
It has its limits, too, though, doesn't it? -You have to abide by their rules.
-Right.
You don't have full freedom.
What's that like? You always have to ask permission, and eventually you reach a point where you maybe don't want to anymore.
Have you reached it? I've been thinking recently about whether or not to move out.
But I feel like I'm not confident enough to really take that step.
I can understand why Nils doesn't want to be alone and is maybe afraid of that.
Who wants to be alone? But if we want to grow up, that's part of life.
I love kitchens.
Do you like kitchens? I don't use them, but I think they're pretty.
Vanilla and chocolate! -Yes, that's⦠-800 grams⦠okay.
Is this Nils'? Oh, good question.
It's a real pudding party in that fridge.
I love pudding too.
I maybe wouldn't bathe in it, but that's enough pudding for the whole family to bathe in.
Why do you have these lights? It's because I like to go to festivals.
I'm a festival person.
Parties, festivals⦠Full of people you don't know.
-Getting away from normal life, yeah? -Yeah, being a bit free.
Being free.
Enjoying yourself.
Doing what you want without worrying if there's someone who knows you.
Just partying and having fun.
What you're saying and what your life is here⦠-They don't go together.
-â¦they don't fit.
I'm struggling a bit here.
Nils likes this Dutch theme.
He likes lights.
He likes his shisha corner.
I'm going to combine it all into a unified theme that knocks his socks off.
What do you do for your mental health? Well, I'm a soccer coach, and that makes me really happy, of course.
I'm really absorbed by that.
But you aren't out to the people at the club.
-No, nowhere.
-Only your best friend.
-Right.
-Okay.
I took the night shift at the bakery because of soccer, so I always have time to train or offer training.
The kid always works nights.
I know how difficult and stressful that is for your body and your mind.
And is there something in particular where you think, "This is the part of soccer that really makes me happy"? Sure, the way you feel valued and sort of needed by people.
And what if you could bring this feeling into other areas? Like, imagine you could come home and you don't have to pretend, and you get the same reactions just for being yourself.
That would also be really good, but⦠-Let's make it happen.
-Yeah.
I sort of feel like he's still stuck in his childhood.
Of course it's partly that he's still living at home, and he really needs to get out.
It's so important for young adults that they leave their parents' house and really develop themselves.
-You know? -We need to get him out of here.
So we have a plan.
Let's go.
I'm super excited, and I want to find Nils his own place.
You said there's a park up left where we can walk? Yes, there's also a little playground.
-Oh, you've got it nice here.
-Yeah.
I'd like to know when you realized you were gay.
I realized pretty early, at ten years old, that there was something different about me, but I didn't really figure it out until two years ago, when I met my ex-boyfriend.
That's when I developed a lot of feelings, and then I knew for sure.
Can I ask what's stopped you so far from being open about it? You get scared about how people will react, whether it's my parents or the soccer people or friends.
My boyfriend broke up with me while we were at the beach on vacation.
And there were lots of tears, mine, his⦠And we were sitting there, and in the background we just heard, "Look at the faggots," stuff like that, and that stays in your head.
I think what we need to work on this week is you finding the courage to finally take this step.
To open up to your parents, open up to your friends, and you'll see that things will be so much better for you afterward.
-Yeah.
-We'll get there.
Definitely.
We had a great time, Nils.
I hope you did too.
We'll continue tomorrow.
-Thanks so much.
-Thank you.
-You have a big heart.
-My pleasure.
-Bye.
-Come out here, Nils.
-See you tomorrow.
Bye! -See you! -Bye! -Bye! I want Nils to come out of his shell a bit and understand that being out is a good thing.
It will make him freer and happier, and he can start a new chapter of his life, regardless of what anyone says.
I want to give Nils the opportunity to listen to his heart.
He needs to be able to develop, grow, and find his feet.
That's going to be hard in his childhood bedroom.
He needs his own place.
I want Nils to feel secure that he can be himself on the soccer field and know that he isn't alone.
I want him to understand that there are other people who have been through this and come out better on the other side.
I want Nils to understand that his self-image is different from how other people see him.
I want him to see what I see.
A young man with a lot of charm and radiance and so much love to give.
My mission is to show Nils a world in which he can choose the things that he wants.
Color, shape⦠everything that goes with it.
I want to show him that's where the fun is.
CHAPTER 2 -After you.
-Thank you.
Nils has never chosen anything for himself.
People have always gone with him and told him, "This looks good on you.
" But that wasn't Nils.
When I go with Nils, I'm not going to point things out.
I'm going to let him wander around and see what he goes for.
The idea here is that you need to take what's in here and let it out.
I'd like to be a bit more colorful.
I've wanted to try some new things, or something like that⦠I like that as well.
Something green⦠I'll make sure afterward that they fit you and help you in putting outfits together, but first and foremost, we want to see who Nils is.
So feel free.
I'd like something like this, or like that⦠-Yeah, let's go look over there.
-Yeah? In my opinion, you're somewhere between L and XL.
It's always hard to figure out which size is going to fit right.
Sometimes when I order online, which I don't do a lot, I'll order a size up so I know I can definitely fit in it.
Let's not do that anymore.
-We want it to fit.
-Right.
Yes, I can see you in this.
This could work.
-Really? -Yes.
-Got everything? -Yes.
-Excited? -Definitely.
Okay, let's go.
Come over here.
Yeah.
-Nice.
Don't you think? -Yes.
-The shirt? -I've never tucked it in before.
It's new for me, and it looks good, I think.
It really shows off his athlete's legs and butt.
He can wear more tight-fitting clothes.
Until now, he's been buying everything much too big.
If you were to go out like this, would people see Nils? -The real Nils? -Yeah.
-Really? -Yeah.
-Promise? -Definitely.
Okay.
It looks good.
How about this? Is that too much? No, the colors work together, and the scarf is really nice.
Nils can wear this to official events, to family celebrations, and even his next date.
It fits on your shoulders, great.
It's close-fitting, but not too tight or restrictive.
Right, but you can see-- A body.
There's a body in here.
Yeah.
Good man.
But those glasses need some work.
They don't work for him at all.
-I thought we might use these.
-Yeah? There.
What do you think? Good, yeah.
I think it's better.
But the question is, is it really Nils? Yes, I think it works with my head shape.
They aren't just a different size and shape.
The color and frames complement his eyes and open up his face.
-And? Color.
-Color, definitely.
-Color.
-I like it a lot.
-Yeah? -The white especially, and with the red.
-It looks really good.
-I agree.
I think it screams "summer.
" You know what it screams? Festival.
Look here.
-If you hate it, you have to tell me.
-Let me look.
-You know what else I have for you? -What? You can put your festival tickets in it.
-And my money.
-Through here.
Your money too.
I don't get why you've been asking other people what to wear.
-You have good taste! -Yeah.
-It was all there.
-Yeah, you just have to⦠believe in it.
-Have to do it.
-I hope you have the confidence now.
Nils knows now that he can rely on his own taste.
He picked the colors and materials all by himself, and they work well.
Nils lives in a wonderful, comfortable nest, but I can sense his lust for freedom and taking that step toward adulthood.
Girls! I've got it! What is it? -You're so excited! -I am! Lemme see! -Yes! -I found it.
The perfect first apartment for Nils.
-Show.
-It's still a little⦠It's not done.
It needs some fine tuning.
What? No, we're renovating it.
Oh.
-But that's what you're here for! -It looks a bit grandma-esque.
-But we're gonna make it really nice.
-It'll be great.
I can't wait.
Even though my own memories aren't great, I want to see what Nils' second home feels like.
-Look at where we are.
-Yeah, the tunnel for Borussia Dortmund.
Being here is always a special feeling.
-It's really good.
-Wow.
-Definitely impressive.
-Huge.
And you can imagine what it's like when all the seats are full and everyone's cheering.
It's really impressive.
How do you feel here? What does it do for you? I feel really⦠free.
Like I'm home.
-This is my favorite team.
-I think it's great.
But at the same time, I notice that you can't really be the Nils you want to be here in this arena or at practice because you aren't out.
Exactly.
It's a big problem in soccer in general.
And I'm really⦠afraid to come out in this community, in soccer in general.
I'm afraid people in the fan scene will say dumb or hateful things.
And that really takes a toll on you.
It definitely does.
I experienced that too.
I was only on a team for two to four weeks.
It was a long time ago.
And I was traumatized by the toxic atmosphere.
I was really⦠I was bullied heavily just for being different, for not fitting into the mold the way people expected.
I tried to like soccer.
I tried to like beer.
I tried all the things people call "manly," just to somehow fit into society.
It's reminded me again, now that I know you, how important it is to have role models who can show you it's okay to be this way.
There is not a single active player in Germany who's openly gay.
For a sport that is so important in this country and has such a presence here, what does that say about our society? So I thought it would be really nice to show you somebody, bring someone who was in a similar situation and can tell you what he went through.
So I invited Mario here to meet you.
Mario Müller is a soccer coach who came out several years ago and was in the same situation Nils is now.
I came out in my soccer life eight years ago.
I was coaching under 19's, a youth team, and it was a really tough step to take.
One of the things I experienced was, um, people comparing homosexuality to pedophilia.
That was the worst reaction, and sometimes I just had to tolerate it and not get invested.
You have the team to support you in those situations, but it might happen.
Here's a tip that may help.
Try to get the team management on board with you.
I told the team in the locker room before practice, and the management team came with me.
They had my back and told the players if anyone has a problem with it, that's okay, but it isn't a problem for us, so you'll have to go find another club.
If you're out and then probably feeling freer, you can bring a lot more joy onto the field.
Because you're being you, right? I also think it doesn't matter who you love, right? Because this is about soccer.
It would make me happy if I got a lot of positive reactions to it.
Enjoy those feelings.
It's really important to have role models, people with similar life stories.
That's what Mario is for Nils.
I'm really impressed with Mario.
After this talk, I feel like I can do anything, all the things I want.
Honestly, me too.
It inspired me as well.
I'm so glad.
-Fingers crossed for you.
-Thanks.
-Thanks so much.
One more hug.
-Of course.
-Glad I could help.
-Thank you.
-Trust yourself.
Be yourself.
-I will.
-Bye! -Bye and thank you! I think Nils had this idea that there was only one way this could go, and it was always bad.
And to have someone stand before you and say, "Hey, I did it.
It wasn't easy, but it's okay now, and I can be who I am, and I'm free," that gave Nils a lot of strength.
I want Nils to feel free and at ease in his home.
I want him to have friends around him and live how he wants.
Nils' first apartment will be in a great neighborhood in Wuppertal, close to his work, and Sebastian is right around the corner.
It's perfect.
I'm so excited to show Nils the possibilities.
He's a bit "hm," and he just needs to know why.
I'm ready and very excited.
It's a bit⦠when you let someone change your hair, you have to trust them, and I trust you.
Completely.
You're so sweet! Nils is unsure about his appearance.
And the thing is, you style yourself for you.
Sure, it affects others' opinions, but also affects your own.
That's what I'll teach him.
I want to get away from this roundness.
I want corners.
More masculine, more edgy, which will look great for your face.
Really difficult hair.
Pretty fine, but lots, and it stands up.
I need to cut with scissors so it grows out nicely.
If I use a trimmer, he'll be a hedgehog.
Can't do that.
What's important to you in a relationship? My definition of "relationship" is that both people trust each other, that you spend a lot of time together, of course that you cuddle together⦠Oh, I love cuddling! Don't you also want to walk down the street holding hands? Like when you meet people, to go, "Hey, look!" "This is the person that's really close to me.
" Right? "This is my partner.
" Yeah, that makes sense.
When you first fall in love, you want to tell the whole world, right? And I kind of do that, but I'm also lying at the same time.
The official version is always that I have a girlfriend.
No! Anything's better than lying.
I told my mom at age 12, and she was like, "Sweetie, I knew when you were a toddler.
" All this hiding will be over soon.
I can't-- I could cry now just thinking about it.
There must be something you like about your face.
-That I think looks good? -Yeah.
-My smile, definitely.
-Yes, 100%.
I think it's nice.
What else do you like? Start at the top.
Do you like your eyebrows? Not really.
-You don't? Why not? -I don't know.
You know what I do? I shave my eyebrows off, just to spend 20-30 minutes every day painting them back on to look like yours.
I hate my teeth.
I think they're truly horrible.
But lots of people tell me they aren't that bad.
My opinion against theirs.
Your view of yourself has really nothing to do with your appearance to others, with the way other people see you.
I want him to see what I see.
-You take about this much.
-Okay.
And I want the product to really get in everywhere.
And then I make my fingers like I'm sprinkling seasoning on a dish.
Or⦠flour on dough.
My God! Let me put my glasses on.
Nils! It looks really hot, if I may say so.
I don't think I've ever had such an attractive haircut.
And I'm saying that about myself in the mirror.
It was great to see him look at himself and think⦠CHAPTER 3 SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO MEET THE CHALLENGE I feel that Nils isn't sure yet what his design style is or his style in general is.
My plan is to show him what it is that creates a sense of style.
If I were to set up my own place, if I look at what I feel and want, it would be sort of modern, so more modern stuff⦠Puritan modern or over-decorated modern? I don't know what the first one is.
So it would be more sleek and reserved.
Those are cool! -I've always wanted a beanbag chair.
-Yeah? Oh hey! I'd also like, if I'm setting up a new place, to not just have my clothes be a bit more colorful, but my room as well.
-Let's go over and-- -Go further and look, yeah! Look, that's to my taste.
Not so much mine.
But this is also nice.
Look.
I also like this color.
It's a darker hue.
I mean, gray is kinda dark, but this is still bright.
Like, if I had a fully black couch, that would be too dark, but this is gray and still somehow light.
A neutral color, yeah? If we find a nice base color, a neutral base, he can play around with it and have fun.
Give me your hand! Come! Yay! This is a nice colorful bed.
Yeah, lots of colors.
Is this what you meant? This is actually a bit too much.
I want it to be colorful but still⦠tasteful, I don't know.
I have a better idea what he likes now.
That will help me design his new apartment.
-Good! -For now, let's have some fun.
Come on, this is ruining your hair.
David will kill me.
I'm so excited about how I'm going to surprise you with the apartment, and of course I've taken your wishes into account.
Coming out is a big step.
I know that Nils is ready.
He just needs that last spark of courage.
I'm gonna give him a little push.
Look up there.
Yes, okay.
Any guesses what we're doing today? Maybe rappelling down from up there? No idea.
We're going to climb it together.
Climb? Oh, okay.
-Yes.
And wanna know a secret? -What? -I'm afraid of heights.
-Me too.
-You too? -Yeah, really.
Nils, sometimes it's a good idea to face your fears.
And afterward you find it wasn't actually so bad.
I'm excited.
It will be a challenge, but I'll try to take it on.
Come here.
Doing it fills you with euphoria and confidence.
And that's what I want to tease out of Nils.
-How high? -That's up to you, Nils.
I'd like to make it up 70 feet.
-I'm calling that a goal.
-Definitely.
Of course my legs are trembling and my hands are sweaty, but to be honest, at the end of the day, it's also super fun.
I'm sure this will be great.
How are you doing, Nils? I'm good.
A bit wobbly on the ladder, isn't it? Yeah, it is.
-You can do it, Nils! -Yeah.
Remember, -when we get up there⦠-Yeah? â¦it's going to be so great.
-Take all the time you need.
-Yeah.
Take deep breaths.
-Everything okay up there? -Yeah.
It's a little⦠My legs have gone a bit soft.
If you lose your nerve, there's always someone to catch you.
Are you already there? Yes, I don't know where you are though! -Come, you can take one more step.
-Yes.
-Don't worry.
I'm right behind you.
-I'm okay.
Whoa.
-Okay, that's enough.
-Enough for you? Definitely.
Got it, okay.
Do you want to enjoy the view before we go back down? Yeah, you don't get to do this every day, and it's special.
Not many people can say that they had such a view.
It's really good.
Wow, right? Going up wasn't so bad, but let's see about going down, you know? -Goodness gracious.
-Come on, let's-- Yeah, I think I'll-- Look, it's cool.
Oh, fuck you! Help! -Come, let's fly some more.
-Sure.
Oh God.
We did it! Oh my God.
There's a sense of relief now, you know? And you know what? You even surpassed your own goal.
I think that's great, and it was with your help.
How cool.
-Really good, yeah.
-Super cool.
-And now we need a cocktail to relax.
-Yes.
-Come on.
-Let's go.
We came to you with a goal in mind.
For you to open up to your parents and your family.
When you have the courage to take this final step and say, "Hey, I can do this.
" "I'll tell my parents how I feel and who I am," I know that will be such a relief.
I am coming-out-approved because I came out twice.
As a teen, I thought I was gay, and several years later it became apparent to me that I identify as non-binary.
And⦠I have to say, my friends reacted really well to my coming out, and so did my family, but I still experience discrimination in my day-to-day.
Do you need any tips? How do you start that conversation? You can go to your parents and say, "I got so much from this week," we restyled your hair, you got new outfits, but there's something else you'd like to talk to them about.
And it's about you as a person, what you feel, the way you are feeling, your own identity.
And that's how you could start the conversation.
That's really good advice.
And I'm going to follow through and put it into practice.
Should I come with you? Or would you rather take this step on your own? I'd like to do it alone because I've learned that I need to overcome my own fears on my own too.
And I haven't had so much confidence before in my whole life.
Nils wants to take this final step by himself.
I think that's awesome.
It definitely shows how strong Nils really is.
I gave him that final push, and I'll say to myself⦠CHAPTER 4 WHEN ONE DOOR CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS Hello! Awesome! Hello! How was it? -Really good.
Yeah.
-Yeah? -Did you do it? -Yes.
Yes? It's all out? -Your parents know? -They do.
-Amazing! -Thank you! -How are you feeling? -Definitely relieved.
Great.
Hey, he told his parents! -Tell us! -What happened? My dad already suspected because my ex used to come over so often.
"Your buddy.
" My dad also said that he wouldn't have lain in bed with a male friend at the age of 20, so he kind of suspected.
My mom didn't, but he did.
-Nice! -We're so proud of you! I have so many different emotions now that Nils-- I'm really proud.
I feel like a soccer mom for Nils.
I'm also impressed with him for following through.
-I'm sure you're wondering why we're here.
-I am.
I'm really excited.
Come, I want to show you something.
-Look what it says.
-My name.
-Ring the bell.
-Okay.
-See what happens.
-My heart is pounding.
Okay? Now let's go up and answer the door.
Oh, my heart.
Come, after you! We really did everything we could to just give you the confidence to take that step toward an independent life.
A life where Nils can be Nils.
Where he can be who you want.
A Nils who can be openly gay.
I have something for you.
I can give you this key.
You have to decide if you want it or whether you'd rather live with your parents.
I'm ready for new beginnings.
All new everything.
-So you'll take this key from me? -I'm so excited.
I don't know if I can put the key in.
My hands might be shaking too much.
Okay, I'll help.
-Come.
-Okay, we'll do it together.
So⦠-There.
And now turn it.
-Yes.
-Wait, my heart.
-You can do it.
Wait⦠Go! Oh my God! -My heart.
-You like it? It looks so good in here.
I'm weeping inside.
I just don't know how to show it.
It looks like a showroom from the store we were in.
It also had these, like, pre-built pieces.
-You wanted a bit of color.
-Yeah.
-Look at this.
-Oh yeah, sweet! Really good.
I don't know what to say.
-Let it sink in.
-Okay.
The lamps, really awesome.
-Awesome? -Yes.
I usually talk a lot, but now I don't know what to⦠Wow! My heart⦠-It's really nice.
-Wow! Wow, it looks so neat and tidy.
Just amazing.
-It should stay that way.
Neat.
-Yeah.
Well-- -Mommy Hotel is over.
-No! Yes.
That closet, I don't think I've ever⦠Lots of storage space.
â¦seen one so big.
It's huge, wow! Really cool.
-Nils⦠-Yeah? Your bathroom.
-Really nice.
-You think? The colors, they match in every room! -You like it? -Yes.
Nice and clean.
Okay, time for the kitchen! Beautiful.
Really high quality and classy.
You realize this is your first own apartment? I don't think I've fully grasped that this really belongs to me now.
-I don't know.
-It's all yours.
Hello? Jump up and down, man! I don't⦠It looks almost exactly as I dreamed it.
It's really amazing.
Just⦠wow, yeah! We all have the desire for freedom and growth within us.
Sometimes you just need a little push in the right direction.
The theme this week has been self-reliance, right? And I said all the stuff you're doing and working nights, you're really straining yourself.
So it's important you understand from a health perspective that night shifts and everything you're doing to yourself in that sense is hard on your body.
A form of stress.
I want you to feel good and do good things for your body.
So I thought these cookbooks were a really good idea, so you can learn short, quick, easy recipes for beginners and get thinking about that so you can nourish your body with lots of antioxidants and vitamins.
Nils, take a look at this view.
Looking out here reminds me of our tower excursion.
Definitely.
Where we felt so free and relieved of our burdens.
I've been sort of reborn, I think.
That's how I feel.
That my life starts now.
-A new beginning.
-Exactly.
It's really amazing.
I'm so glad to hear that.
-Let's enjoy this view for a while.
-Yes, it's beautiful.
Recognize any of it? Yes, definitely.
I've added to it a little.
You were worried about getting too far out there where people could look at you and think, "He might be gay.
" How do you feel now? What are your thoughts? I don't care what other people think anymore.
-That's the important thing.
-I learned that this week.
You don't look gay just for wearing pink, having earrings on both sides, or jeans that are tight.
No, that's not looking gay.
That's looking good.
Let's begin.
Begin! -Whoa! -Awesome! -Fantastic.
And new glasses.
-Definitely.
We can finally see your face.
And your hair looks great.
Spin, please.
-Yes! -Great butt! The details on the shoes too.
The way you carry yourself, you're a new person.
I feel much freer, much more confident, and it's so nice, and⦠I'll be happier to look in the mirror now.
I'll actually look in the mirror.
It's true.
And⦠You have really broad shoulders under there! -Great definition, look! -I'm getting all flustered.
-Wow! -What?! -Ready for festivals.
-Festival! -Amazing! -Wow! Really cool.
-Come in here.
-Really cool festival outfit.
A real raver! I believe this is just the beginning for Nils.
I feel so free in each of these outfits.
Everything feels light and loose.
Much better than my old clothes or than my old life, I mean, as well.
-Yes! -Yes.
-We're so proud of you.
-Yeah? He's just beaming, and it feels real.
It says, "I'm at peace with myself.
" I really want to thank all of you for giving me that push I needed, and I'm really sad you all have to go now.
Because I've grown really fond of you, of each of you.
I'm so proud of you for being so open.
You're a great example for so many others.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, seriously.
You did so well.
You're a role model now as a soccer player and you can keep calling upon that.
-You've got everything we can give you.
-Another group hug! It made me so happy that we could blow a bit of fairy dust into him, and he was suddenly⦠Time to go home! Keep in touch and safe travels.
Thank you, Nils.
-Enjoy yourself.
Ciao! -I will.
-Bye! -Bye! CHAPTER 5 EVERYTHING I KNEAD Guys, I made chocolate nut bars! -Oh, like at Nils'! -I did my best.
-Hey! -Nut bars! -Tasty! -Hey! Later! I can't wait to see how Nils is doing.
-Shall we go watch? -Yes! To the couch.
-After you.
-I have the nut bars! Need help? -No, we're good, thanks! -Thank God.
-He looks so good.
-Yeah, he does.
Hi.
-Hi, Nils.
All good? -Yeah.
-It's Sebastian! -His best friend.
How cute! You look good.
You got a really good style.
-I picked it myself.
-Very nice.
His balcony! -I brought something.
-He matches the beanbag chair.
It's great that you're not hiding anymore, that you're being open about your sexuality.
I think it's really good.
I want to thank you for helping make this possible.
You've done a great job.
My parents will be here soon, and I'm going to kick you out, gently.
But you can come again anytime, of course.
-I'd love to see you.
-Look how happy he is.
-He grinned a lot from the beginning.
-But it wasn't real.
The things he said and expressed didn't match what was going on here.
Absolutely.
And now it matches.
Exactly.
Look, there.
He has to pick for himself.
Jeans or chinos? Ah, the chinos.
Look, he's laying it out.
I told him he needs to picture it as a whole.
-That's one way to do it.
-He's doing just what you said.
Look how hard he's concentrating.
Really get in there.
-Look how he's-- Did you show him that? -Structure! Oh, did you see that smirk? He was like⦠-Hello! -Hello, Nils! We brought you something.
A housewarming gift.
Thank you.
-They brought something! -A present! Yes, come in.
-Into my new home.
-Yes, hello.
Oh, aren't they cute? -Yes.
-So sweet.
Look how healthy and tasty that looks.
He's cooking for his parents.
-Bon appétit.
-Yes.
-Enjoy the meal.
-Absolutely.
You too.
-Thank you! -My pleasure.
-For cooking for us.
-Of course.
This is the first time he's been able to be himself around his parents.
Do you like it? -Yes.
-It's good.
Look at this.
He's come out.
He's cooking for his parents.
It all looks so nice.
I'm glad you both took it so well, what I told you.
-Look how Momma's looking at him! -Aww! She's listening so intently.
Not every parent is so accepting.
And I'm glad I have you.
Yes, that's good.
Did you expect something different? -No, I guess not.
-See? You remain and are our son, and we love you.
That's really nice to hear.
Just like before.
Thank you.
You guys know that I have a boyfriend, and I'll⦠I'll introduce you sometime.
We'd like that.
We'll come by.
He just told them he has a boyfriend, and he wants to introduce them.
Isn't that just incredible? And so casually, like it's completely natural.
-He's come so far.
-That's amazing.
It was his biggest wish, and now it's come true, and it's so lovely to watch.
He was so afraid of being alone.
And now look at how confident and happy he is, now that his parents know and he can talk about his boyfriend, about being gay, and about his new life.
It makes me so happy.
Until next time! Nils! To your great apartment, to your new start.
-Thank you.
-Cheers! Cheers! Subtitle translation by Kel Barksdale