Rana Naidu (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Fuck.
Easy.
Easy.
Come on.
Are you going?
I have a headache.
Come on, OB!
The same old excuse again…
Come up with something new for once.
Fuckin' hell. Can't tell if this
is going in or coming out.
Oh, wow! Looks like your wife
got that ring on your finger after all.
Talking of fingers, I like yours.
Please lay a mattress out here
the next time.
So that this grass doesn't crawl
up my ass.
Shit.
Hey, Jaffa!
Wake up, man!
Got a hangover?
What did you do last night?
Tej is still trembling at the thought.
Everyone assumed you were
just like your sister, Nitya.
Were you really gonna jump?
Bhiku Mhatre.
Remember his famous line?
"Who's the king of Mumbai?"
That's exactly how I felt last night.
And that's why I climbed up there.
People look puny from up there.
Why would I kill myself if I'm so happy?
You idiot!
Is this what you call happiness?
Tej is planning
to take you to a shrink.
It's called therapy, Daddy.
Let me give you some "therapy."
-Come with me.
-Where?
Lonavala.
We'll go to Bhushi Dam
and have Ganganlal's chikki.
But I don't like chikki.
So, do you like Gaganlal?
Why do you wanna go to Lonavala?
I've left some of my things there.
Gotta pick 'em up.
Now go, freshen up
and wear some perfume.
Look at my darling.
The horse?
Daddy, you've lost your mind
after all that time in jail.
Not the horse, numbnuts!
I'm talking about my ride.
Idiot.
Holy shit! It's your car from Hyderabad!
It got here last night.
You never let anybody touch it.
So why does he get to drive it?
'Cause I'm his favorite son.
Now get in the back. Dad, get in.
You look great, Daddy.
The person we're visiting
is a real looker too.
His mom.
I'm really sorry. I shouldn't
have gone behind your back. I…
I was just, you know…
Look, I know that you have
severed ties with your father.
But the kids need
their grandfather, Rana.
Naga loves them.
They had so much fun.
Me too.
He reminds me of my dad.
You've returned home after two days
only to change your watch?
You can hate your father.
I don't fucking care!
But why aren't you talking to me?
What's with this behavior?
You have kids at home, Rana.
Do you want them to have
daddy issues too?
Fine, might as well just call the kids
up here and argue in front of them!
And inform them you won't be around
for Diwali.
OB's party is in the evening.
I'll see you there.
Buy something for yourself.
Buy something for…
Fuck you!
What do you mean
"buy something for yourself"?
Who do you think I am?
I'm not a fucking whore!
I'm your wife, Rana.
I'm not that fucking slut who
you were with at Prince's party!
Mom!
-Oh, shucks!
-Ani!
-Shit, shit…
-Hey, careful.
-Gosh!
-Be careful.
Okay, here you go.
You're all set.
Okay. I gotta go now.
But Diwali lunch tomorrow.
Pick a place.
Buffet at Mekong.
-Done.
-Done.
It's only food, you know?
-So, what? I like it.
-"So, what? I like it!"
All you'll ever get from Naga is deceit.
A man who couldn't be a decent father
can't ever be a good person.
The girl's brother asked me,
"Did your parents
inculcate these values in you?"
I said, "Don't be ridiculous!
Parents don't teach their kids to fuck!"
I've slept with a lot of women.
And I remember every fuck
with every woman
rated on a scale from 1 to 10.
You were conceived right here.
-Here?
-Yep, that fuck with your mom was a ten!
Full marks!
Hey, what are you doing, man?
The window will conk out.
How much did you rate Mom
when I was conceived?
Ten out of ten…
for her cooking skills.
Rana…
I was thinking about you this morning.
I wanna be like you when I grow up.
Just like you.
I need your help.
Rana Naidu needs help?
From me!
I'm gonna cum in my pants!
Hurry up and tell me!
Bulsara International.
OB says that you're a trustee?
I want to get my kids
enrolled at the school.
My son's in the sixth grade
and my daughter--
Say no more! Give me the details later.
You want it, you got it.
-Do you need anything else?
-No. Thank you.
Well, I should be thanking you.
Looks like Mandira's figured out
I'm on to her.
It's all sorted with her now.
She's like an ocean of lust.
Craving my dick in her mouth all day.
All thanks to you.
Okay.
Fuck.
Surprise!
Wow!
Nice place, yeah?
How the fuck did you find me?
That is not important.
But let's just say…
why should I be the only one
who has a stalker? It's fun!
I've got work to do.
Come on, man!
I just got here.
Wait for a while.
Or…
a bit more than just a while.
That depends on you.
I'm leaving right now and so are you.
Rana, you're impossible.
May I use your washroom, please?
It'll only take a minute.
Fuck…
-Srini?
-Boss, I'm following Naga.
I think he's headed to Lonavala.
Keep me posted.
Okay.
Rana, help me!
Rana, quick! Hurry up!
-Rana!
-You okay? I'm coming in.
Hurry, Rana!
What the fuck…
Save me, Rana.
Save me, please.
-Where's the key?
-The key?
The key's… right here.
Hey!
Come here.
Fuck me, Rana.
Fuck me.
Please.
Rana, I'll scream if you leave.
I swear I'll scream, Rana!
Rana, no! Rana!
Rana, please!
Rana, come back!
Rana!
Rana!
There is a different kind of hell
for every different sin.
And in each hell,
there are different kinds of punishments
for different sins.
Panditji…
we tend to murder our principles
when it comes to politics.
But what is the punishment for… murder?
Hell, of course.
A ghastly hell of the worst kind.
Sir, the angels of death beat you
to a pulp and render you unconscious.
And then they themselves bring you around.
And thrash you
until you're unconscious again.
Did somebody die around here?
I put the body in the trunk of my car,
left the car there and came home.
Where did you leave the car?
At the accident spot.
-And where's the accident spot, OB?
-Where I left the car.
I don't know.
It was dark.
Rana, please fix this.
I will. Don't worry.
Don't worry?
Rana, we are made
to pay for our sins.
No matter how hard you try,
you can never outpace your sins.
I'm a politician, which gives me
some leeway on this front…
but not murder.
I've killed someone, Rana.
I'll be punished for it.
First, I'll go to jail.
And once I'm dead, I'll go to hell.
You heard what the priest said.
Boss, I'm following Naga.
I think he's headed to Lonavala.
I put the body in the trunk of my car,
left the car there and came home.
Rana?
Rana?
Rana!
You will not go to hell, OB.
-Hi, boss.
-Morning, boss.
Last night,
OB hit someone with his car.
The body is in the car,
and the car is missing. Find it.
Done, boss.
I'll rope in Ganesh,
the sub-inspector.
But please bring cash.
He's a whiner. Needs his fix right away.
Will do. Srini, where are you?
I'm right behind Naga's Pajero,
crossing Panvel.
Jaffa and Arjun are with him.
Make sure we find OB's car
before they return to Mumbai.
We will transfer
the body into Naga's car.
Ask Ganesh to build
such a strong case against Naga
that he rots in prison
until his last breath.
Yes, boss.
My stepfather is a real cunt.
Used to be a producer
once upon a time.
Keeps name-dropping every chance he gets.
Subhashji, Prakashji, Jeetuji.
Fifteen!
Not bad for a warm-up.
Arjun!
I'm Arjun's father.
Oh, you must be Naga.
And Jaffa's father too.
This is for you
as a thank you for taking care of my son
all these years.
Naga?
It's you.
Magnifique as ever, Nyla!
Thank you, dear.
This is saffron flavor, right?
You know, even Jeetuji doesn't get
the kind of attention from his wife
as I do from mine.
I get everything I want.
What would you like?
Whiskey, rum…
I mean, you name it, I got it.
Come.
-Hey, what happened to your face?
-Football.
Fuck.
I have a fucking boner and she's MIA!
Jhanvi! Jhanvi!
Jhanvi!
I've sent you a location.
Find out what that bitch is doing there!
Who are you?
No, no! I'm not going anywhere
until Rana gets here!
Rana asked me to bring you.
So, shut up and come with me.
Where are we going?
Where is he meeting me?
You're lying to me, aren't you?
Rana will lose his mind
if he doesn't find me in there!
He won't spare you.
Jeetuji hasn't touched alcohol
in 30 years.
But every time he comes over,
he touches this bottle.
What does it cost?
You know what they say.
“If you have to ask, you can't afford it.”
Right, right.
So…
You're a film producer, right?
Have you made any films?
Films.
I don't make films. I make money.
And I've made a lot of it.
If you ever need a script for a film,
you come to me.
Really? Are you a screenwriter?
Go on then.
Well, there's this story about a man
who was sent to jail for 15 years
for a crime he didn't commit.
"Milord, I'm innocent!
I haven't done anything. Let me go!"
Outdated. Out of fashion. Done and dusted.
Need something fresh, edgy,
outside of jail.
Tell me about yourself, how does it feel
to be free after 15 years?
Feels great.
I missed… everyone.
How sweet!
They really love me.
Beautiful.
Ganesh.
-What…
-I had a word with them.
-We can get the car out. Come.
-Okay.
The body will be
transferred to Naga's car tonight.
You can arrest him then.
Did you bring the key?
What the f…
What is this?
A log? I stuck my neck out for this?
-What a waste of time.
-Quit carping!
-What do you want?
-The cash.
-Srini?
-Hey.
Where do you want to meet
once I'm back in Mumbai?
Nowhere.
What do you mean?
All okay, boss?
Yeah. I'll call you later.
Vandana… I'm booking an appointment
for OB at BR Hospital.
Not necessary, Rana. OB is feeling
a lot better since the priest came home.
Let the priest do his job,
and let the doctors do theirs.
He's been wearing the ring, it's all good.
-It's just work stress--
-Talk to you when I see you tonight.
Remember this old darling?
My God!
I didn't think you'd still have it!
Still shines the same way it used to!
And the front seat still goes
all the way back…
This is where you and I…
We wouldn't have had Arjun
if it weren't for this seat.
Let's go, hakka noodles.
It's about time you left the producer.
Naga, I can't do this.
This is my life now.
Sorry.
What the hell?
Do you really like this fellow?
Does that moron take good care of you?
Yes, Naga. He does.
I'm sorry, I got carried away.
Don't touch that window.
I don't want to hear a sound.
Son of a bitch!
I'll fucking teach you a lesson.
Your company is all I desire
I want you by my side
Tell me, what do you wish for?
I'm a lover boy
Falling in love is heavenly
Be my guide…
Hi.
Hi, friends. Today, I'm gonna teach you
how to make karam podi dosa.
First, let us take stock
of the ingredients.
You guys have learned
to make the batter.
Now we'll pour the batter onto the pan
and spread it across.
Make circles in such a way
that it takes the perfect shape.
Be careful, it should not be too thin.
Sambar and chutney
will be great to go with it.
I'm fucking killing it!
Let's start with coconut chutney.
Chutney…
Grind some tomato, garlic,
green chilies and coconut,
and the chutney is ready.
And while you're preparing the chutney,
don't forget to check on the dosa…
What the hell!
Damn it!
…you should try it too. Yeah,
you may ruin the first couple of dosas,
but eventually they'll be perfect.
I fucking killed it.
You could've told me. I would've helped.
Hi. Looking forward
to the karam podi dosa.
Four large pizzas?
And you always have a problem
when I call for three.
You planning on reselling 'em?
Shut up, dumbf--
Wow!
Sorry, I…
You look beautiful.
Weren't we supposed to meet
directly at OB's?
Yeah, but…
I thought my wife could use
a bodyguard and a chauffeur.
Yeah, right.
Hey, kids. Tomorrow after lunch,
I'm taking you uniform shopping.
Uniform shopping?
The two of you
have gotten into Bulsara International.
You guys need a new uniform.
What!
Thank you!
You're the best!
Okay, now you guys should leave.
Go on.
Bye. Have fun.
Thank you.
I fucked up this morning.
It's the least I can do.
You should fuck up more often.
What a kick-ass plan!
Folks outta here. Just you and me…
-and little chubby cheeks.
-Why is he here?
-Oh! So the extra pizza is for him--
-Cool guy!
You know who else is cool? Your dad!
Said he'll fix everything.
-Fixing everything is his job.
-And what about us?
We gotta party!
So, where's the action at?
Pizzas are on the way. Ice cream
and soft drinks are in the fridge.
Soft…
Hold on. Come with me.
Holy mother of…
This is stacked!
Mr. Naidu is a real badass!
Hey, hand me that glass.
Mom will not spare us
if she finds out.
Come on! Don't be a killjoy!
Don't worry, tiger.
Have a small drink.
You'll feel good.
Here you go.
I call it the Peaty Slumdog.
It'll sort you out.
To Rana Naidu, sir!
May your home and bar
live long and prosper!
Thank you.
-Cheers.
-To Dad!
Cheers to Dad.
Nice place.
Sorry. I know
it smells nasty in here.
It's mostly sweat.
No, don't worry.
Jesus!
Burnt yourself while cooking?
Really put your heart into this?
Did you add kokum
or tamarind to the chutney?
You gotta give me the recipe.
Actually, no.
You make it in front of me.
I cook okay, you know?
Not as good as you.
You cook very well.
Shit!
Sorry, Ana.
I can't do this.
Look, I don't know
what's cooking between us.
But whatever it is,
I know we gotta be honest with each other.
I didn't make all this.
Well, I tried, but I failed.
So, I got takeout.
I can't cook.
Call me when you learn to cook.
I'll get going now.
I'm joking!
We're having fun, and that's important.
Ordering in is also a legit skill.
Shit.
Sorry.
Isn't the problem with your right hand?
Why is your left trembling?
Just… nervous.
-Happy Diwali, brother-in-law!
-Happy Diwali.
-You're looking nice.
-Ma'am, want a picture?
-Let's take a family photo?
-Of course!
You said you wouldn't come.
I just wanted to see what you look like
when you're fully clothed.
My dearest brother-in-law!
One more.
Sir! Sir, please!
-Sir, please!
-Sir, please!
-Sir, please.
-It's okay.
Sir, selfie…
-Hey, Rana! Happy Diwali!
-OB.
-Happy Diwali.
-Happy Diwali, OB.
-Happy Diwali, Vandana.
-Happy Diwali.
-Thank you so much.
-You're most welcome.
You look wonderful.
Believe me, you still outshine
all the leading actresses.
-OB, please!
-No.
You shouldn't have
quit the film industry.
She was such a hit in Telugu films.
Come on now.
Make a comeback.
-I'll call up Karan.
-OB!
-OB! OB, wait! Wait.
-No, let me call him.
-Hear me out.
-What?
OB, I miss my fans.
I really do.
You know the… the rush…
the highs…
perks of being a star.
I really miss all of it.
But… I've attained everything I wanted.
OB, I'm happy with the roles
I'm playing right now.
Mother, wife…
I made a choice, OB.
-I don't need anything except them.
-Wow!
But thank you so much for the offer, OB.
Really. Thank you.
Ridiculous!
Why are the two of you so quiet?
Are we going to a funeral?
Pull over.
Let's go and get drunk.
Some nice, fancy liquor.
Got you covered, Daddy.
"Jeetuji hasn't touched alcohol
in 30 years."
"But every time he comes over,
he touches this bottle."
"If you have to ask,
-you can't afford it!"
-"…you can't afford it!"
Here you go, Daddy. Nice, fancy liquor.
You look at me from afar
You wonder where I'm headed
Hey!
Make way for me, or I'll crush you
Make way for me, or I'll crush you
You're getting me drunk because
you don't wanna dance, right?
Wait.
-Fine. Get me another drink.
-Done.
Vodka.
What is the deal with Naga?
-I'm on it.
-You gotta hurry.
Someone's going to jail,
and it's not going to be me.
And if it's not him,
it's going to be you.
Cheers.
Rana's wife?
What a stunner,
you look exactly like my next wife!
I'm sorry, do I know you?
Oh! Farzad Soonawala.
You've heard of Bulsara International?
I'm the school's trustee.
You see, Rana called me up
and begged me
to get your kids enrolled at the school.
Yeah.
I must say, I was touched.
I really was.
Thank you.
But it didn't happen.
I didn't get them enrolled,
because your husband is a fucking pervert
who just can't keep it in his pants!
That motherfucker betrayed me!
I gave him a job, and he just went ahead
and fucked my girlfriend!
Rana, what is this man saying?
Rana!
T-O-O-F-A-N
Hey, all you tipplers in the house!
You guys were phenomenal.
Alright then, let's give it up
for our generous host
Mr. OB Mahajan!
Hey, Toofan!
Thank you very much.
Thank you, everyone!
Now that all of us are here together,
let's make this evening--
The angel of death.
I knew he would come.
He's here now.
No! No! Go away!
Don't come any closer!
It was Prince who took the girl there.
All of them…
Oh, God! Save me!
Please leave me! Please!
Don't ever think about
Bulsara International, all you Naidus!
You're blacklisted forever!
Fucking cunts!
He's talking nonsense.
Come on.
Stop OB from blabbering.
-Don't hurt me.
-Right now! Come on.
I have sinned!
Yes, I'm a sinner!
Please don't hurt me! Please--
Rana, we must tell them.
He won't listen to me.
We need to tell him.
-Happy Diwali, everyone!
-It's okay.
Relax.
BR Hospital. Tomorrow.
Here you go.
Listen, Jaffa.
Your mother was also a ten out of ten.
-Really?
-Absolutely!
Now pull over at the mall.
Man's gotta take a leak.
You!
You following me?
Doesn't the CBI have anyone
to nab in Hyderabad?
Are you here to grab something of mine
here in the restroom?
Looks like ya missed me.
I have no such attachment for you.
I helped you to get out of jail.
Shortened your term by five years.
Why would I miss you?
You're unbelievable.
One moment the messiah,
the next moment the antichrist.
Why are you here?
I helped you nab all of Surya's henchmen.
What else could you possibly want?
Surya.
I have yet to nab him.
How about you just grab my tool?
I've told you that I'd help you
if I knew his whereabouts.
But nobody even knows
if he's dead or alive.
What can I do?
How about you work on
another case with me?
Sure, why not?
Cheech and Chong at your service.
Why don't we
set up a detective agency?
I ratted on them to get out of prison.
And now I'm out. I owe you nothing.
I don't even know who you are.
But you know Prince, don't you?
I do.
Do you want an autograph?
He committed the murder,
and you went to jail.
Congratulations!
Full marks on your general knowledge exam.
-Common sense--
-Is not so common. I know.
You spent 15 years in jail
because of Prince.
Will you just let it slide?
And what about the person…
who planned all of this and framed you?
The… The mastermind.
What do you mean?
I want you to work with me.
Both of them will be jailed.
I mean… who is the mastermind?
Who framed me?
Sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.
Best if you don't know.
Who's idea was it? Just tell me!
-Let it go.
-Tell me who it was!
Rana Naidu.
Your son.
He's the one who sent you to jail.