Random Acts of Flyness (2018) s01e03 Episode Script
They Got Some S**t That'll Blow Out Our Back
No, please!
Turn that off.
Babycakes.
Hi.
Did I wake you up?
No.
Did you get my text?
I was, uh, shooting
with my phone,
so I had it on airplane.
And now it's dead, so
What'd you text me?
Baby?
Baby?
Baby,
what'd you text me?
I was just
saying that
Xavier was coming over,
but he probably
wouldn't stay too long.
How'd that go?
It was all right.
Just all right?
He told me
-he thinks he's
getting attached.
-I think I'm getting attached.
Which is probably
his passive-aggressive way
of saying he's
uncomfortable
with you and me.
I don't, I don't know.
You smell good,
though.
(muffled voices
murmuring)
(murmuring
continuing)
Mm
No. No, no, no.
Shh.
-Shh!
-I thought
you were sleeping.
Girl :
I mean, I like him
enough to go out with him.
Oh, shit.
This is what
you're masturbatin' to?
The human race concerns me.
And everything
that that implies,
which, is the most
ambitious thing
you can say,
and at the same time,
the most--
Vlogger:
I cannot say this enough.
Protective styling.
You cannot be out here
sleeping on your brows
if you want them
growing down to your tit--
You have to be cautious
when wearing some
of the tighter styles--
Pussy hair is
naturally porous.
You want the follicle
to be healthy just like
you want your ends to be--
Look, you know
the government uses fluoride
as a means of mind control.
Don't you?
Hotep:
The black woman is God.
Until you understand that,
your-- your relationship
and your life
is never gonna
evolve correctly.
Christianity was
created in 325 AD.
AD does not mean
"after the death of Jesus."
It means "after damnation."
'Cause you got BC, which means,
they say, "before Christ,"
but it really means
"before the Caucasian."
♪
Gillian Jacobs:
During the Dark Ages,
they weren't able to see
one another in caves.
Touching a person's
face or hair
wasn't merely
an act of affection.
In the complete
darkness of the caves,
it was a way
to locate yourself,
in relation
to your surroundings.
This is why white people have
traditionally shown affection
by stroking
each other's hair.
It wasn't until the
Moors conquest of Europe
in 711 AD,
that beige-skinned,
light-haired tribes
on the west coast
of the Asian continent
discovered what
we now call "kissing."
-And that's why white people
have small, thin lips.
Terence:
Identity: Black Extreme.
You know, Edison
didn't invent this shit.
He stole everything
from a brother.
A nigga named "Lou."
It's cool with me
that you like to lie ♪
'Cause I see
the depression ♪
Filling up your eyes ♪
And I see
oceans overflowing ♪
♪
Newswoman:
Sinai Miller was standing
outside her family's apartment
when a gunshot hit her
on Tuesday afternoon.
Sinai was on her way
to a Girl Scout meeting
to pick up cookies,
which she says
she enjoys sell--
Detangle it with this--
Hey, y'all.
So this just came in.
What I love about--
-Terence: Alton's gun
did not save him.
Stylist:
Come sit right here, mami.
Pero, mami, when's
the last time you came here?
Eh, I don't know.
Oh no, I'm good.
I just want a blow-dry
right quick.
Pero, que pelo
tan malo.
Perdón?
-Hair: Back up off me!
-Bad hair, mami.
I'm out!
This is bullshit.
Peace!
-There's a fight, y'all!
-Yeah, I got that hot comb.
Come on, what's up?
-Let's get this work.
I'm gonna straighten
your ass out.
Yeah!
Hair:
Damn!
-Ugly bad bitch!
-Hair: Go, girl!
Run, bitch!
-Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Judge:
It's been a long time
since I've seen
such an indignantly
abrasive curl pattern.
Count one: general badness.
Eight to 10 years.
Count two:
a tendency to split ends.
Eight to 10 years.
Count three:
constantly ensnared debris,
leaves and branches
and so forth.
Eight to 10 years.
Count four:
criminal damage
to a perfectly
functional plastic comb.
Eight to 10 years.
-Judge:
I hope you're satisfied.
-Get off me.
Judge:
Terrible waste,
terrible waste
♪
Woman:
Hey, fresh meat!
That ass is mine.
I like it nappy.
-I know how you feel.
Like you wanna
lay down and die.
I brought you something.
Hmm.
You can get this type
of shit in commissary?
So, what you want
for this?
I wanna break
you out of prison.
Word?
The prison
in your mind.
Man, I'm good.
"Prison of my mind."
Listen to yourself.
You spend your whole life
trying to twist yourself
into, quote, unquote,
"good hair."
But understand this,
if you don't understand
anything else.
You are bad hair.
And it's time you were bad
and proud.
Who are you?
The question is, sister
Who are you?
"Bad:
"failing to meet an
acceptable standard.
"Poor, evil, not fresh.
"Inadequate or
unsuited to a purpose.
"Sorrowful, sorry,
sheisty, shitty."
Who taught you to hate
the way you shrink up
when you're moist?
Who taught you
to hate your tight,
pencil
Inmate:
Don't let the man
take you down.
Baines:
Who taught you?
Who?
Man:
How's it look?
I think I'll call it
"weave."
-Mm-hmm.
Like it's gonna make somebody
who looks nothing like you
very wealthy one day.
-Terence:
Black Extremity .
Newswoman:
In her writings,
she told how she had
to undergo taunts
and slurs from
threatening mobs
and how her parents patrolled
the apartment at night
with a loaded gun.
As a matter of fact,
he would be a fool
if he didn't have
a weapon there--
knowing the
ferociousness of the pigs,
how they just
jump out of their cars
and shoot you down,
how they knock
on your door,
and blow a 19-year-old
sister's head off with shotguns.
And as a matter of fact,
everybody that's concerned
should have, uh,
something in their homes
to protect themselves.
What about this
turns you on?
I know what you guys
are thinking.
Another AR-15!
In my defense,
this one is
a Nemesis Vanquish.
Whereas my other one
is a Nemesis Valkyrie.
-Terence:
Alton's gun did not kill him.
You guys love it.
Now I'm not saying
that you love the tragedy.
But I am saying that
you love the ratings.
Crying white mothers
are ratings gold.
-Philando:
Sir, I have to tell you,
I do have a firearm on me.
-Officer: Okay.
Terence:
Philando's gun
did not kill him.
- Don't pull it out.
-I'm not pulling--
Terence:
Philando's gun
did not save him.
"The tragedy and complexity
of a black marriage
"become more apparent
when we remember
"that a family is
a functional unit
"designed for one
primary purpose:
the protection
of the young."
"And while it serves other
vital social purposes,
"none is more important than
the function of protection.
"But the black family cannot
protect its members.
"Nowhere in the United States
can the black family extend
"the umbrella of protection
over its members
in the way that
a white family can."
Capitalist salvation
does not count.
Data-driven salvation
does not count.
Your house does not count.
His daughter's house,
his son's house will count
if he can retain it.
They made them gats,
they got some shit ♪
That'll blow out our backs
from where they stay at ♪
Terence:
Every part of the nation,
its members are
jailed, beaten, robbed,
killed and raped,
and exposed to this
kind of jeopardy,
to a degree unheard of
in white families.
Thus the black family
is prevented
from performing its
most essential function:
the protection
of its members.
I came into this world,
high as a bird ♪
Man:
Is there any law against
carrying a loaded weapon
into the assembly chamber
for instance?
No, that is one of the
purposes of the Mulford Bill.
Newsman:
The State Assembly was in
the midst of a heated debate
when the young negroes,
armed with loaded rifles,
shotguns and pistols,
marched into the capital.
Shanel:
So, growing up in what
they called "the hood,"
there was a friend of mine
that was murdered.
-He was shot.
His body was burned,
and he-- they found him
in a dumpster.
I just spoke to this
person yesterday,
and now I'm getting a
phone call that he's dead.
I used to have,
like, recurring dreams
of someone breaking in
while I was sleeping.
Those dreams
were very intense,
and it-- it felt real.
-And
Shanel:
in the dream,
I just was defenseless.
-So, that feeling there
-Take your hands off me
if I'm not under arrest!
like, motivated me to get
the permit and application,
so I can get a gun to be
able to protect myself.
Ronald Reagan:
Well, I think
it's a ridiculous way
to try and solve the problems
that have to be solved
among people of good will,
and there's certainly
nothing that can be done
in the line of good will
when Americans have guns.
And there is
absolutely no reason
why, out on the street,
today, a civilian should be
carrying a loaded weapon.
Officer:
Attention, MOVE,
this is America.
You have to abide
by the laws of
the United States.
Shanel:
Being in a situation that
Sandra Bland was in,
I can't dismiss
myself from it.
I'm a black woman.
I know that it can happen.
Mark Hughes:
I do not believe that
the Second Amendment
applies to African-Americans
and it's been shown
on numerous occasions.
I don't fear too much,
but the one thing
that I do fear
is interactions
with police officers.
You never know if you're
gonna have a conversation
or the death sentence.
Shanel:
Me, being in that
situation if I was armed,
-defending myself
especially against
a police officer,
I would go to jail.
And then
not defending myself
against a police officer,
I end up dead, possibly.
I mean, that's what
happened to Sandra Bland.
It's in our nature
to defend yourself.
So, I would have
to defend myself.
How does it feel
to be hunted down? ♪
I, uh, stopped them
as they came up
the front steps of the capitol,
and I was
handed a pamphlet
by one of the
members of the group.
Newsman:
The statement seems
to indicate that
:
"The Black Panther Party
for Self-Defense
"believes that the
time has come
"for black
people to arm themselves
against this terror"
terror likely
but presumably
"before it is too late."
The Mulford Act brings
the hour of doom
one step nearer.
-Man: Do you expect
any trouble there?
-No, I don't.
Especially since
they're all in the bucket.
But I'll tell you
one thing, I was scared.
-Anytime a guy
comes up with a sh--
-Men: Boom! Boom! Boom!
Man: In everything
from work habits
to child-raising,
MOVE is revolutionary.
I never though that
revolution consisted of
revolutionizing myself
to get away from
the things that 'cause me
to want to revolt.
They can't stop what's right.
You can't stop the air
from blowing.
You can't stop the sun
from shining.
That's why they'll never stop
the MOVE organization.
But if they come
in here shootin',
and killin' our women
and children, and our men,
we will shoot back
in defense of our lives.
20 minutes later,
gunfire erupted.
There is no scenario
where we're able to utilize
the Second Amendment right
to protect ourself
against the state
or any federal agency.
Newsman:
Hundreds of helmeted police
showed up at 3:00 a.m.
to begin preparation
for an all-out assault.
The state shows us
on numerous occasions
that their guns are bigger
This police department
in Philadelphia
could invade Cuba and win.
-badder
-Rizzo: We are now
trained and equipped
to fight wars.
more powerful than anything
that we can possibly possess.
Newsman:
In Philadelphia, when
bullets didn't do the job,
police dropped a bomb.
We are the hunted ♪
Seems we are
the hunted ♪
Man:
You know, it's not
the year 400 AD.
It's really the year
four billion and ten.
Alex, what say you?
Uh, okay. How about
Sister Baines?
Greetings.
Sister Baines,
so happy to have you.
-And so glad you're out.
How's the natural
hair business?
Well
the health department
recently raided my shop,
and we've had to operate
in secret ever since.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah. Apparently
I have to pay a few
thousand dollars
in order to get a,
quote, unquote, "license,"
so I can have the privilege
to braid hair in
exchange for money.
-Yeah, well, it's the law.
:
Crackers.
-Baines: Get this.
Once a year,
white political elite
gather in the woods
to participate
in secret rituals,
-including mimed
human sacrifice.
Terence:
"I grew up in
Forest, Mississippi.
"Unlike Callie Barr,
"William Faulkner's
domestic worker,
"my family did not have
to look at anything
white-owned from our porch.
"We did not own much,
"but we owned
our shotgun house,
"our porch,
our small swath of land,
"our garden, our Bibles,
"our books,
our cinder blocks,
"our pecan trees,
our sticker bushes,
"and we owned our shotguns.
"Those shotguns and
the stories surrounding
those shotguns,
"always reminded me
and my black, deeply
Southern family
"had neither devotion,
nor fidelity to white folks
"who could not save us,
"who could not see us.
"White folks who
could not see us,
"sometimes led by police,
"often led by presidents,
and public policy,
"had no problems
finding creative ways
"to encourage our death,
"destruction and suffering.
"They could not see us,
"but they could
always see our guns.
"Whether the guns
existed or not,
"these white folks
had no devotion,
"and no fidelity for us,
"and little love
for themselves.
"Still, as good Christians,
we would often pray for them,
"and said things like,
'Bless their hearts, Lord,
"because they know
not what they do.'
"But if they ever knew
not what they did,
"on our property,
near our porch,
"against the bodies
of our family,
"they were going
to get shot at.
This is not a metaphor."
Mandy Turner:
The FBI reports that
white supremacists
and other domestic terrorists,
maintain an active presence
in US police departments
and other law enforcement
agencies in American cities.
That's definitely
a Hotep fact.
Host:
Well, Danielle,
I'm so happy to be
the one to tell you this.
That is 100%
a real fact.
-Host: Yep.
According to a
2016 PBS report,
the FBI issued a warning
as early as 2006,
that local police departments
were being infiltrated
-by white supremacists groups.
So depressing.
Yeah, puts you
in a mood, huh?
My son is 15 years old.
He had to watch this,
as this was put
all over the outlets.
And everything that was
possible to be shown.
The newly independent,
and formidably armed
Republic of Haiti
was compelled
to compensate France
for their loss of slaves,
which were, of course,
the Haitian people.
That can't be real.
I'll say that's a Hotep fact.
-Oh, sorry, Danielle.
-That's a real fact. Yeah.
The Washington Post reported
that in the current French
colony of Guadeloupe,
French President,
Francois Hollande,
said that France would pay back
the debt owed to Haiti
but later retracted,
claiming he was referring
only to the moral debt.
-Audience: Sorry!
-Man: Okay, so
according to my math,
in order for the arable land
not to fall into disrepair,
they need to give each
of us at least 40 acres
and a mule.
Don't get your hopes up.
You know what's funny?
Niggas invented
calculus in Timbuktu.
Now, look what the
white man using it for.
How's everybody today?
Terence:
I'm feeling great.
Welcome.
Random Acts of Flyness
is so ecstatic
to reveal to you today,
"Bitch Better
Have My Money."
"Bitch Better Have My Money"
is the very first
proximity based social app,
to use the now
ubiquitous technology
of genetic ancestry tests
to locate the
nearest white person
that owes a
black user money.
We help black people
connect with the white folks
who owe them that
40 acres and a mule.
♪
Simply put,
our technology
allows black users
whose ancestors
have been enslaved,
to locate and match
with the white families
whose ancestors
enslaved them.
Now, once a match is made,
we make it very
simple for you.
Payments can be
made anonymously
through the app,
or if the black lender
and the white debtor agree,
they can meet up in person
at the nearest ATM
or notary public.
Now I know
what you're thinking.
"Why a notary public?"
Everybody asks me that.
Well, some
of these reparations
are so enormous,
they require the
signing over of assets:
land, cars,
intellectual property,
et cetera, what have you.
There's much, much more.
Our algorithm
takes into account
medical records,
criminal records,
real estate records,
land rights and treaties
in order to make extremely
precise determinations
about how much our
black users are owed
due to the contemporary
injustices of redlining,
hiring discrimination,
and of course,
mass incarceration.
♪
I've got a surprise
for you today.
Everybody take out
your phones.
Every one of your phones
has been updated
with our new OS,
which includes version 1.0 of
"Bitch Better Have My Money."
And for you,
our first group of beta users,
we've invited a random selection
of blacks to the launch.
Just to see what happens.
-We got to get out of here.
♪
Cotton ♪
Coltan as Coltan as cotton ♪
Impossible!
I'm telling you!
-White.
Zora:
Cute.
Maybe.
Maybe.
These mofos aren't
even matching me.
Of course not.
What?
You didn't read
the articles?
Nobody wants us.
"Us"?
Black women are the least
popular on dating apps.
Asian men,
distant second.
It's gonna take some time
for us to catch up.
You know?
Jerry Springer :
Hey, I'm Jerry Springer,
and I love New York.
Welcome to your ride.
Now, let me
see your seat belt,
particularly if you're
a black woman,
the demographic
most likely to die
in a vehicular collision.
: Zora!
Wow! Can't believe
I caught you.
It's been so long.
-It's Stephanie.
Oh, shit,
Stephanie! Damn!
I haven't heard from you
since college.
Stephanie:
I know! I haven't thought
about that place in forever.
So, what you been
up to these days?
Stephanie:
I've actually been
writing for Bathsheba
for the past few months.
Ooh! That's cool.
Oh, you know
I ran into Carla--
Stephanie:
So, that's why I'm calling.
It's for Bathsheba.
I'm writing this article.
It's going to be called
"The Heartbreaking Reality
of Being a Dark-Skinned
Black Woman."
Working title.
So, I want this article
to honor your story,
and your struggle.
What you guys go through
every day is really tragic:
AIDS, obesity,
assault, ashiness.
I mean, honestly,
I cry about it a lot.
Yeah, I gotta go.
I'll talk to you later!
What's this?
Prenatal vitamins.
Bianca, are you pregnant?
No, not now, but I want
to survive the ordeal.
And it's really good
for your edges, okay?
It increases cellular
energy levels, okay?
And it's good for
your dandruff, all right?
So, yeah. And, girl,
you're not gonna die.
You're not gonna die.
People have babies
in forests, I've seen it.
And crackheads have
babies in alleyways, so--
But crackheads be high!
And we're not in a forest,
so, you know,
black women
are dying every day
'cause of childbirth.
But?
The past is the past.
Psst! Hey!
These white women
are just lying to us.
Welcome to America, my nigg--
Why don't we take
one last stab, huh?
Okay, this one,
a lightning round.
Tyeski Washington,
what's your fact?
Michelle Obama is God.
Doreen:
Michelle Obama
was born of the void.
Her birth predates
the existence of
the known universe.
She was born
of her own womb,
she begat herself.
While taking in some sun,
and wearing the rings
of Saturn between her septum,
she had an idea.
A planet
with lots of water.
While watching
the eons pass,
she decided to inhabit
a Gullah descended,
formidably armed body
and assume the empress-dom
of the inaccurately named,
"United States
of America."
From this vantage point,
she presided over
a carefully engineered
consciousness shift,
which subversively visioned
unimpeachable cultural
and political power
as an obsidian-skinned,
formidably armed black woman.
On November 8th,
2016 years after she sent
her only begotten son
to the water planet,
a deformed, demonic
urchin washed ashore
of her palace,
hungry for himself.
Her sentient body,
susceptible to
the human dramas
of her water planet, wept.
She retreated to
her astral space,
and found comfort
in her abuelita,
the python.
There, she pondered
whether or not
it was, like, a--
a good decision
to do this whole
"water planet" thing.
She thought to herself,
"You know what?
I'm 'bout to flip
this whole shit."
Weatherman:
Tornadoes, nice clouds,
and everything, and
it's disastrous but--
Really, it's just a--
♪
-self, self, selfie--
-Reggie: Baby, baby.
Denise:
What, baby?
Reggie:
I got to sleep in today.
You know the new bagel place
opened up down the street.
I figured if I get
a few new bagels
and take 'em
into work today,
-I wouldn't even--
-Baby.
I'm doing a monologue
here, Reggie.
I'll take that.
Let's see.
♪
Let me take this.
You've been
eating good, girl.
Girl, you need to
close them legs,
and stop being fast!
Close your legs.
Man:
You pretty,
but you chocolate,
-so you gotta work twice
as hard to find a man.
You need to put them
big-ass hips to use.
Nobody knows ♪
Woman:
Hey, Uncle Reggie!
(distorted instrumental
music playing)
-Woman: Serve your uncle first.
♪
♪
♪
MARIAMA DIALLO: I always knew
that I wanted to work in film.
There are just
all of these stories
that I want to tell.
There's a crucial moment
where I need to stop
being a writer
and start being a director.
How can I articulate this
in the most effective way?
Before I get on set,
I just--
I want to have
the images in my head,
and I wanna sorta be able
to communicate to myself
what I feel it looks like.
I know a mood
that I want to conjure,
or I know a few different
options that I want to get.
My stories seem to emerge
from some part of myself,
sort of working through
and thinking through
these different situations
and how things can unfold.
That's what really fun for me
about the process.
Turn that off.
Babycakes.
Hi.
Did I wake you up?
No.
Did you get my text?
I was, uh, shooting
with my phone,
so I had it on airplane.
And now it's dead, so
What'd you text me?
Baby?
Baby?
Baby,
what'd you text me?
I was just
saying that
Xavier was coming over,
but he probably
wouldn't stay too long.
How'd that go?
It was all right.
Just all right?
He told me
-he thinks he's
getting attached.
-I think I'm getting attached.
Which is probably
his passive-aggressive way
of saying he's
uncomfortable
with you and me.
I don't, I don't know.
You smell good,
though.
(muffled voices
murmuring)
(murmuring
continuing)
Mm
No. No, no, no.
Shh.
-Shh!
-I thought
you were sleeping.
Girl :
I mean, I like him
enough to go out with him.
Oh, shit.
This is what
you're masturbatin' to?
The human race concerns me.
And everything
that that implies,
which, is the most
ambitious thing
you can say,
and at the same time,
the most--
Vlogger:
I cannot say this enough.
Protective styling.
You cannot be out here
sleeping on your brows
if you want them
growing down to your tit--
You have to be cautious
when wearing some
of the tighter styles--
Pussy hair is
naturally porous.
You want the follicle
to be healthy just like
you want your ends to be--
Look, you know
the government uses fluoride
as a means of mind control.
Don't you?
Hotep:
The black woman is God.
Until you understand that,
your-- your relationship
and your life
is never gonna
evolve correctly.
Christianity was
created in 325 AD.
AD does not mean
"after the death of Jesus."
It means "after damnation."
'Cause you got BC, which means,
they say, "before Christ,"
but it really means
"before the Caucasian."
♪
Gillian Jacobs:
During the Dark Ages,
they weren't able to see
one another in caves.
Touching a person's
face or hair
wasn't merely
an act of affection.
In the complete
darkness of the caves,
it was a way
to locate yourself,
in relation
to your surroundings.
This is why white people have
traditionally shown affection
by stroking
each other's hair.
It wasn't until the
Moors conquest of Europe
in 711 AD,
that beige-skinned,
light-haired tribes
on the west coast
of the Asian continent
discovered what
we now call "kissing."
-And that's why white people
have small, thin lips.
Terence:
Identity: Black Extreme.
You know, Edison
didn't invent this shit.
He stole everything
from a brother.
A nigga named "Lou."
It's cool with me
that you like to lie ♪
'Cause I see
the depression ♪
Filling up your eyes ♪
And I see
oceans overflowing ♪
♪
Newswoman:
Sinai Miller was standing
outside her family's apartment
when a gunshot hit her
on Tuesday afternoon.
Sinai was on her way
to a Girl Scout meeting
to pick up cookies,
which she says
she enjoys sell--
Detangle it with this--
Hey, y'all.
So this just came in.
What I love about--
-Terence: Alton's gun
did not save him.
Stylist:
Come sit right here, mami.
Pero, mami, when's
the last time you came here?
Eh, I don't know.
Oh no, I'm good.
I just want a blow-dry
right quick.
Pero, que pelo
tan malo.
Perdón?
-Hair: Back up off me!
-Bad hair, mami.
I'm out!
This is bullshit.
Peace!
-There's a fight, y'all!
-Yeah, I got that hot comb.
Come on, what's up?
-Let's get this work.
I'm gonna straighten
your ass out.
Yeah!
Hair:
Damn!
-Ugly bad bitch!
-Hair: Go, girl!
Run, bitch!
-Don't shoot!
Don't shoot!
Judge:
It's been a long time
since I've seen
such an indignantly
abrasive curl pattern.
Count one: general badness.
Eight to 10 years.
Count two:
a tendency to split ends.
Eight to 10 years.
Count three:
constantly ensnared debris,
leaves and branches
and so forth.
Eight to 10 years.
Count four:
criminal damage
to a perfectly
functional plastic comb.
Eight to 10 years.
-Judge:
I hope you're satisfied.
-Get off me.
Judge:
Terrible waste,
terrible waste
♪
Woman:
Hey, fresh meat!
That ass is mine.
I like it nappy.
-I know how you feel.
Like you wanna
lay down and die.
I brought you something.
Hmm.
You can get this type
of shit in commissary?
So, what you want
for this?
I wanna break
you out of prison.
Word?
The prison
in your mind.
Man, I'm good.
"Prison of my mind."
Listen to yourself.
You spend your whole life
trying to twist yourself
into, quote, unquote,
"good hair."
But understand this,
if you don't understand
anything else.
You are bad hair.
And it's time you were bad
and proud.
Who are you?
The question is, sister
Who are you?
"Bad:
"failing to meet an
acceptable standard.
"Poor, evil, not fresh.
"Inadequate or
unsuited to a purpose.
"Sorrowful, sorry,
sheisty, shitty."
Who taught you to hate
the way you shrink up
when you're moist?
Who taught you
to hate your tight,
pencil
Inmate:
Don't let the man
take you down.
Baines:
Who taught you?
Who?
Man:
How's it look?
I think I'll call it
"weave."
-Mm-hmm.
Like it's gonna make somebody
who looks nothing like you
very wealthy one day.
-Terence:
Black Extremity .
Newswoman:
In her writings,
she told how she had
to undergo taunts
and slurs from
threatening mobs
and how her parents patrolled
the apartment at night
with a loaded gun.
As a matter of fact,
he would be a fool
if he didn't have
a weapon there--
knowing the
ferociousness of the pigs,
how they just
jump out of their cars
and shoot you down,
how they knock
on your door,
and blow a 19-year-old
sister's head off with shotguns.
And as a matter of fact,
everybody that's concerned
should have, uh,
something in their homes
to protect themselves.
What about this
turns you on?
I know what you guys
are thinking.
Another AR-15!
In my defense,
this one is
a Nemesis Vanquish.
Whereas my other one
is a Nemesis Valkyrie.
-Terence:
Alton's gun did not kill him.
You guys love it.
Now I'm not saying
that you love the tragedy.
But I am saying that
you love the ratings.
Crying white mothers
are ratings gold.
-Philando:
Sir, I have to tell you,
I do have a firearm on me.
-Officer: Okay.
Terence:
Philando's gun
did not kill him.
- Don't pull it out.
-I'm not pulling--
Terence:
Philando's gun
did not save him.
"The tragedy and complexity
of a black marriage
"become more apparent
when we remember
"that a family is
a functional unit
"designed for one
primary purpose:
the protection
of the young."
"And while it serves other
vital social purposes,
"none is more important than
the function of protection.
"But the black family cannot
protect its members.
"Nowhere in the United States
can the black family extend
"the umbrella of protection
over its members
in the way that
a white family can."
Capitalist salvation
does not count.
Data-driven salvation
does not count.
Your house does not count.
His daughter's house,
his son's house will count
if he can retain it.
They made them gats,
they got some shit ♪
That'll blow out our backs
from where they stay at ♪
Terence:
Every part of the nation,
its members are
jailed, beaten, robbed,
killed and raped,
and exposed to this
kind of jeopardy,
to a degree unheard of
in white families.
Thus the black family
is prevented
from performing its
most essential function:
the protection
of its members.
I came into this world,
high as a bird ♪
Man:
Is there any law against
carrying a loaded weapon
into the assembly chamber
for instance?
No, that is one of the
purposes of the Mulford Bill.
Newsman:
The State Assembly was in
the midst of a heated debate
when the young negroes,
armed with loaded rifles,
shotguns and pistols,
marched into the capital.
Shanel:
So, growing up in what
they called "the hood,"
there was a friend of mine
that was murdered.
-He was shot.
His body was burned,
and he-- they found him
in a dumpster.
I just spoke to this
person yesterday,
and now I'm getting a
phone call that he's dead.
I used to have,
like, recurring dreams
of someone breaking in
while I was sleeping.
Those dreams
were very intense,
and it-- it felt real.
-And
Shanel:
in the dream,
I just was defenseless.
-So, that feeling there
-Take your hands off me
if I'm not under arrest!
like, motivated me to get
the permit and application,
so I can get a gun to be
able to protect myself.
Ronald Reagan:
Well, I think
it's a ridiculous way
to try and solve the problems
that have to be solved
among people of good will,
and there's certainly
nothing that can be done
in the line of good will
when Americans have guns.
And there is
absolutely no reason
why, out on the street,
today, a civilian should be
carrying a loaded weapon.
Officer:
Attention, MOVE,
this is America.
You have to abide
by the laws of
the United States.
Shanel:
Being in a situation that
Sandra Bland was in,
I can't dismiss
myself from it.
I'm a black woman.
I know that it can happen.
Mark Hughes:
I do not believe that
the Second Amendment
applies to African-Americans
and it's been shown
on numerous occasions.
I don't fear too much,
but the one thing
that I do fear
is interactions
with police officers.
You never know if you're
gonna have a conversation
or the death sentence.
Shanel:
Me, being in that
situation if I was armed,
-defending myself
especially against
a police officer,
I would go to jail.
And then
not defending myself
against a police officer,
I end up dead, possibly.
I mean, that's what
happened to Sandra Bland.
It's in our nature
to defend yourself.
So, I would have
to defend myself.
How does it feel
to be hunted down? ♪
I, uh, stopped them
as they came up
the front steps of the capitol,
and I was
handed a pamphlet
by one of the
members of the group.
Newsman:
The statement seems
to indicate that
:
"The Black Panther Party
for Self-Defense
"believes that the
time has come
"for black
people to arm themselves
against this terror"
terror likely
but presumably
"before it is too late."
The Mulford Act brings
the hour of doom
one step nearer.
-Man: Do you expect
any trouble there?
-No, I don't.
Especially since
they're all in the bucket.
But I'll tell you
one thing, I was scared.
-Anytime a guy
comes up with a sh--
-Men: Boom! Boom! Boom!
Man: In everything
from work habits
to child-raising,
MOVE is revolutionary.
I never though that
revolution consisted of
revolutionizing myself
to get away from
the things that 'cause me
to want to revolt.
They can't stop what's right.
You can't stop the air
from blowing.
You can't stop the sun
from shining.
That's why they'll never stop
the MOVE organization.
But if they come
in here shootin',
and killin' our women
and children, and our men,
we will shoot back
in defense of our lives.
20 minutes later,
gunfire erupted.
There is no scenario
where we're able to utilize
the Second Amendment right
to protect ourself
against the state
or any federal agency.
Newsman:
Hundreds of helmeted police
showed up at 3:00 a.m.
to begin preparation
for an all-out assault.
The state shows us
on numerous occasions
that their guns are bigger
This police department
in Philadelphia
could invade Cuba and win.
-badder
-Rizzo: We are now
trained and equipped
to fight wars.
more powerful than anything
that we can possibly possess.
Newsman:
In Philadelphia, when
bullets didn't do the job,
police dropped a bomb.
We are the hunted ♪
Seems we are
the hunted ♪
Man:
You know, it's not
the year 400 AD.
It's really the year
four billion and ten.
Alex, what say you?
Uh, okay. How about
Sister Baines?
Greetings.
Sister Baines,
so happy to have you.
-And so glad you're out.
How's the natural
hair business?
Well
the health department
recently raided my shop,
and we've had to operate
in secret ever since.
-I'm sorry to hear that.
Yeah. Apparently
I have to pay a few
thousand dollars
in order to get a,
quote, unquote, "license,"
so I can have the privilege
to braid hair in
exchange for money.
-Yeah, well, it's the law.
:
Crackers.
-Baines: Get this.
Once a year,
white political elite
gather in the woods
to participate
in secret rituals,
-including mimed
human sacrifice.
Terence:
"I grew up in
Forest, Mississippi.
"Unlike Callie Barr,
"William Faulkner's
domestic worker,
"my family did not have
to look at anything
white-owned from our porch.
"We did not own much,
"but we owned
our shotgun house,
"our porch,
our small swath of land,
"our garden, our Bibles,
"our books,
our cinder blocks,
"our pecan trees,
our sticker bushes,
"and we owned our shotguns.
"Those shotguns and
the stories surrounding
those shotguns,
"always reminded me
and my black, deeply
Southern family
"had neither devotion,
nor fidelity to white folks
"who could not save us,
"who could not see us.
"White folks who
could not see us,
"sometimes led by police,
"often led by presidents,
and public policy,
"had no problems
finding creative ways
"to encourage our death,
"destruction and suffering.
"They could not see us,
"but they could
always see our guns.
"Whether the guns
existed or not,
"these white folks
had no devotion,
"and no fidelity for us,
"and little love
for themselves.
"Still, as good Christians,
we would often pray for them,
"and said things like,
'Bless their hearts, Lord,
"because they know
not what they do.'
"But if they ever knew
not what they did,
"on our property,
near our porch,
"against the bodies
of our family,
"they were going
to get shot at.
This is not a metaphor."
Mandy Turner:
The FBI reports that
white supremacists
and other domestic terrorists,
maintain an active presence
in US police departments
and other law enforcement
agencies in American cities.
That's definitely
a Hotep fact.
Host:
Well, Danielle,
I'm so happy to be
the one to tell you this.
That is 100%
a real fact.
-Host: Yep.
According to a
2016 PBS report,
the FBI issued a warning
as early as 2006,
that local police departments
were being infiltrated
-by white supremacists groups.
So depressing.
Yeah, puts you
in a mood, huh?
My son is 15 years old.
He had to watch this,
as this was put
all over the outlets.
And everything that was
possible to be shown.
The newly independent,
and formidably armed
Republic of Haiti
was compelled
to compensate France
for their loss of slaves,
which were, of course,
the Haitian people.
That can't be real.
I'll say that's a Hotep fact.
-Oh, sorry, Danielle.
-That's a real fact. Yeah.
The Washington Post reported
that in the current French
colony of Guadeloupe,
French President,
Francois Hollande,
said that France would pay back
the debt owed to Haiti
but later retracted,
claiming he was referring
only to the moral debt.
-Audience: Sorry!
-Man: Okay, so
according to my math,
in order for the arable land
not to fall into disrepair,
they need to give each
of us at least 40 acres
and a mule.
Don't get your hopes up.
You know what's funny?
Niggas invented
calculus in Timbuktu.
Now, look what the
white man using it for.
How's everybody today?
Terence:
I'm feeling great.
Welcome.
Random Acts of Flyness
is so ecstatic
to reveal to you today,
"Bitch Better
Have My Money."
"Bitch Better Have My Money"
is the very first
proximity based social app,
to use the now
ubiquitous technology
of genetic ancestry tests
to locate the
nearest white person
that owes a
black user money.
We help black people
connect with the white folks
who owe them that
40 acres and a mule.
♪
Simply put,
our technology
allows black users
whose ancestors
have been enslaved,
to locate and match
with the white families
whose ancestors
enslaved them.
Now, once a match is made,
we make it very
simple for you.
Payments can be
made anonymously
through the app,
or if the black lender
and the white debtor agree,
they can meet up in person
at the nearest ATM
or notary public.
Now I know
what you're thinking.
"Why a notary public?"
Everybody asks me that.
Well, some
of these reparations
are so enormous,
they require the
signing over of assets:
land, cars,
intellectual property,
et cetera, what have you.
There's much, much more.
Our algorithm
takes into account
medical records,
criminal records,
real estate records,
land rights and treaties
in order to make extremely
precise determinations
about how much our
black users are owed
due to the contemporary
injustices of redlining,
hiring discrimination,
and of course,
mass incarceration.
♪
I've got a surprise
for you today.
Everybody take out
your phones.
Every one of your phones
has been updated
with our new OS,
which includes version 1.0 of
"Bitch Better Have My Money."
And for you,
our first group of beta users,
we've invited a random selection
of blacks to the launch.
Just to see what happens.
-We got to get out of here.
♪
Cotton ♪
Coltan as Coltan as cotton ♪
Impossible!
I'm telling you!
-White.
Zora:
Cute.
Maybe.
Maybe.
These mofos aren't
even matching me.
Of course not.
What?
You didn't read
the articles?
Nobody wants us.
"Us"?
Black women are the least
popular on dating apps.
Asian men,
distant second.
It's gonna take some time
for us to catch up.
You know?
Jerry Springer :
Hey, I'm Jerry Springer,
and I love New York.
Welcome to your ride.
Now, let me
see your seat belt,
particularly if you're
a black woman,
the demographic
most likely to die
in a vehicular collision.
: Zora!
Wow! Can't believe
I caught you.
It's been so long.
-It's Stephanie.
Oh, shit,
Stephanie! Damn!
I haven't heard from you
since college.
Stephanie:
I know! I haven't thought
about that place in forever.
So, what you been
up to these days?
Stephanie:
I've actually been
writing for Bathsheba
for the past few months.
Ooh! That's cool.
Oh, you know
I ran into Carla--
Stephanie:
So, that's why I'm calling.
It's for Bathsheba.
I'm writing this article.
It's going to be called
"The Heartbreaking Reality
of Being a Dark-Skinned
Black Woman."
Working title.
So, I want this article
to honor your story,
and your struggle.
What you guys go through
every day is really tragic:
AIDS, obesity,
assault, ashiness.
I mean, honestly,
I cry about it a lot.
Yeah, I gotta go.
I'll talk to you later!
What's this?
Prenatal vitamins.
Bianca, are you pregnant?
No, not now, but I want
to survive the ordeal.
And it's really good
for your edges, okay?
It increases cellular
energy levels, okay?
And it's good for
your dandruff, all right?
So, yeah. And, girl,
you're not gonna die.
You're not gonna die.
People have babies
in forests, I've seen it.
And crackheads have
babies in alleyways, so--
But crackheads be high!
And we're not in a forest,
so, you know,
black women
are dying every day
'cause of childbirth.
But?
The past is the past.
Psst! Hey!
These white women
are just lying to us.
Welcome to America, my nigg--
Why don't we take
one last stab, huh?
Okay, this one,
a lightning round.
Tyeski Washington,
what's your fact?
Michelle Obama is God.
Doreen:
Michelle Obama
was born of the void.
Her birth predates
the existence of
the known universe.
She was born
of her own womb,
she begat herself.
While taking in some sun,
and wearing the rings
of Saturn between her septum,
she had an idea.
A planet
with lots of water.
While watching
the eons pass,
she decided to inhabit
a Gullah descended,
formidably armed body
and assume the empress-dom
of the inaccurately named,
"United States
of America."
From this vantage point,
she presided over
a carefully engineered
consciousness shift,
which subversively visioned
unimpeachable cultural
and political power
as an obsidian-skinned,
formidably armed black woman.
On November 8th,
2016 years after she sent
her only begotten son
to the water planet,
a deformed, demonic
urchin washed ashore
of her palace,
hungry for himself.
Her sentient body,
susceptible to
the human dramas
of her water planet, wept.
She retreated to
her astral space,
and found comfort
in her abuelita,
the python.
There, she pondered
whether or not
it was, like, a--
a good decision
to do this whole
"water planet" thing.
She thought to herself,
"You know what?
I'm 'bout to flip
this whole shit."
Weatherman:
Tornadoes, nice clouds,
and everything, and
it's disastrous but--
Really, it's just a--
♪
-self, self, selfie--
-Reggie: Baby, baby.
Denise:
What, baby?
Reggie:
I got to sleep in today.
You know the new bagel place
opened up down the street.
I figured if I get
a few new bagels
and take 'em
into work today,
-I wouldn't even--
-Baby.
I'm doing a monologue
here, Reggie.
I'll take that.
Let's see.
♪
Let me take this.
You've been
eating good, girl.
Girl, you need to
close them legs,
and stop being fast!
Close your legs.
Man:
You pretty,
but you chocolate,
-so you gotta work twice
as hard to find a man.
You need to put them
big-ass hips to use.
Nobody knows ♪
Woman:
Hey, Uncle Reggie!
(distorted instrumental
music playing)
-Woman: Serve your uncle first.
♪
♪
♪
MARIAMA DIALLO: I always knew
that I wanted to work in film.
There are just
all of these stories
that I want to tell.
There's a crucial moment
where I need to stop
being a writer
and start being a director.
How can I articulate this
in the most effective way?
Before I get on set,
I just--
I want to have
the images in my head,
and I wanna sorta be able
to communicate to myself
what I feel it looks like.
I know a mood
that I want to conjure,
or I know a few different
options that I want to get.
My stories seem to emerge
from some part of myself,
sort of working through
and thinking through
these different situations
and how things can unfold.
That's what really fun for me
about the process.