Rap Sh!t (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1
She a hoe, she a dancer,
she a stripper, watch her ♪
Hey, what's hanging?
It's Guapdad4000, baby.
I'm back in Miami,
and I'm back handsome.
Oh, never mind. I'm stuck that way.
Jigga Juice, what's happening, man?
How you liking that 305 experience?
Oh, you already know how we do, man.
Do something the dinosaurs couldn't do
- and make it clap.
- Oh my god
And this is my manager
right here. You already know.
We got it out the mud.
We gotta boss up with
the niggas! Come on now!
Hey, come on.
It's the only
way. Come on, now. Put it on.
Give us some of that.
This is a whole motherfuckin'
Miami takeover, baby!
It's a check about as big
as a body-positive bitch.
Jigga, what's happenin',
man? Talk to 'em.
Man, get that cam out my face!
I don't feel like addressing
none of you niggas, man!
Ay, ay, ay. Tonight's festivities
is brought to you by,
uh, the Duke of Titties.
It's the Duke of Miami, fam!
But you know I show
niggas a good time. Hey!
Yeah.
I got drugs!
If it wasn't for
that grandaddy smokin' ♪
Yadidamean, fasho,
Know what I mean, fasheezy ♪
Yadidamean, fasho,
Know what I mean, fasheezy ♪
Yadidamean, fasho,
Know what I mean, fasheezy ♪
Yadidamean, fasho,
Know what I mean, fasheezy ♪
- Man, I know y'all enjoyed y'all self.
- Oh, hell yeah. You did that?
Boy, I keep it smackin' around here.
I add fire where I see fire.
Next thing you know,
we all lit!
So, uh, shit
- you the manager, right?
- Oh, you know. That's me.
Dang, business
lookin' real good for y'all.
Oh, this? Yeah, you know,
it's just a little
somethin'-somethin', you feel?
- Yeah, I feel that.
- Yo, look,
I appreciate you
taking care of us though.
Nah, the night was crazy! We
needed this! And you seen Guap?
Shit, you a real one.
So, uh, how you wanna do this?
You trying to get squared away tonight?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, we got you.
Yo, next time we in town,
you gonna be the first one
we call, aight? Yo, JB!
You make sure we get
the Duke's car out the valet?
I would Well, shit, tell Guapdad
Tell Guapdad Tell him bye.
Black house on the track, babe ♪
Tricky ass nigga, that's
someone I would never be ♪
I won't buy you nothing
you can't afford yourself ♪
Fucking with me, bitch, your status ♪
Which means just being
in my presence is a feat ♪
Bootytato, she caught me
dead, like 'em old enough ♪
You can see in front of me,
thought I saw a puddy tat ♪
Don't call her a hoe, she
just a product of her habitat ♪
- Y'all good?
- It's 'bout hot as shit up in there.
We about to ride around with the air on.
You in the hood now, baby.
Damn! What happened here?
I know you ain't coming in
here, smelling like the balls
you don't even have to ask me
about a goddamn thing.
Shit, I know you can't smell.
This house smell like hot ass,
and you just sit in it.
- What you say? I can't hear you.
- Nothing, man.
Bro, it smell like an aquarium in here.
Yo girls been staying here?
Since we talking about it, I'm gonna
need you to cover rent this month.
What you mean?
- I been gone for two weeks!
- I mean what the fuck I said.
Business been slow.
These bitches ain't hittin'
like they used to.
And, quiet as it's kept,
you been encroaching on
my clients any fucking way.
We don't even got
the same demographic, Unc!
And if business been slow for
you, what you think it's been for me?
I mean, if you listened to anything
I said over the years, you'd be set.
Right. Be livin' the life, huh?
Oh, you must have forgot
I ain't charge you shit
the first six months
when you moved out here.
Alright. Alright.
If I pay the rent this month,
you'll get the air fixed?
I'll tell you like I tell my hoes.
I don't negotiate with bitches.
You don't negotiate
with Fabuloso either.
Yo, show some respect.
Get your feet off my furniture.
So, why you look like you drowning?
I am drowning.
Put my little homie up on game.
Say hello to my little friend.
Yo
Come on! I send you all to fuckin' hell!
Mm-mmm. That baby don't need
to be watching that mess.
- Grandma, she good! She like it!
- Mm
I got a session in an hour.
Think you can
watch her for a little bit?
Of course.
She can go with me to the store.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I do have work, aight?
Papa gotta make money.
I'll make it up to you.
When I bow down to my bitch,
it come with a big rock ♪
Do you wan' know how it is ♪
When you a big dawg? ♪
Tick tock, tick tock, ten
shots to your side like tick tock ♪
Yo, what the fuck?
No, niggas didn't
Fuck!
- You lookin' for your car?
- Yeah.
Well, they came and
towed it early this morning.
I knew they was lookin' for somebody.
They kept circling the block.
I woulda said something
if I knew it was you.
Hey, hey, hey, yo ♪
Black car swiping shit,
deep into Chanel ♪
Mouth stay closed,
you don't do no kiss and tell ♪
Said it so good,
told me send it in the mail ♪
I do what I want, give a
fuck about how you feel ♪
She waited, rat shit ♪
Let's go!
Yo.
Oh You got a pen or something sharp?
Dramatic ass.
Use your nails.
I clip my shits, dirty nail nigga.
This from one of the IDs I gave you?
Nah, cuh, that shit was gris.
This from this other little plug I got.
You lonely at work?
- You miss me?
- Um, actually, no. I don't.
My "faucet" is broken.
Oh, it's broken, huh?
What, it's dripping?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- Leaking?
- I just need you to fix it.
- I'm headed home after my shift.
- Aight. Lucky for you,
you caught me right on time.
And I know how to fix
everything. I got you later.
- Thank you. Thank you. Bye.
- Aight. Yeah.
Look like we about to
double up. You ready? Shit.
Yeah.
Up, down, in, out, trying
to make this pussy break ♪
Say he want it in his face ♪
Wetter than who rub it in ♪
We be bugging, now they had it ♪
- My bad. This still a good time?
- Yep. Y Keep going!
You think niggas not gonna be
talking while you dance? You stay in it.
Win us back, baby.
Anyway, hey. Last night was on, huh?
Oh, hell yeah.
Line wrapped around the block?
- Fire department almost shut us down.
- For real?
What about my boy Ben Simmons though?
I told him to come through. I
already know he showed out.
Hell yeah.
We could barely keep up with
all the money he was throwing.
You know, he was throwing so much money,
I almost pulled my titty out.
- She likes it.
- See?
This why you need to give me
the whole week.
Man, I don't even know
why you still fuck
with them other lame-ass promoters.
Look, speaking of
Here you go.
Ten percent. Mm
Man, what the f
You just told me they was
making it rain last night.
My nigga, this barely a sprinkle.
He only got two bottles for his section,
and that's where your cut comes from.
Man, that's some bullshit.
All the business I'm bringing in here?
The athletes, the rappers,
the trap niggas?
They all come in here
because of the Duke.
Look, a deal's a deal.
You ain't the only one I got to pay!
Alright, thank you. I'll be in touch.
Thank you so much for the opportunity.
You did great!
You gonna hire her?
Fuck no.
- What's up, Chyna? Henny?
- What's up, Titties?
You did real good out there.
- If he don't hire you, he's a dummy.
- Thank you.
- I really want this.
- I feel you. So, look.
If you looking to make some extra cash,
holler at me. I can take care of you.
- Mm
- Let me see your phone.
There. Duke.
- Lock me in.
- Okay.
There she go.
Ain't nobody tryna
be your Zola! Girl, bye!
You just mad 'cause I ain't ever
wanna recruit your ugly-foot ass.
- Toes looking like tree branches.
- Shut up!
- What you watching?
- Mia.
She's rapping now, and it's good, too.
- Lemme see that.
- Mia's doing it big.
She got out the club,
started a OnlyFans,
now she using her following
to cash in on music.
- She's fuckin' smart.
- And the bitch's brows is always even.
Like, I can't even hate on her.
Like, she on Cardi B shit.
- Play the shit again.
- Gotta do it like
Classy. I'm a
real bitch, but I'm nasty. Ride the D
Yo, Milio. What's poppin', bro?
Lamont. What's up, boy?
Shit, nothin'. Chillin'. Hey, yo,
I was hitting you about that,
uh, invoice I sent over.
- I ain't heard nothing back yet.
- Oh, word?
- Yeah.
- Just business affairs, man.
They moving slow as fuck.
Hey, but you hear this track though?
It's bangin', ain't it?
Yeah, that shit orchestral.
Hey, about this invoice, though,
like, it's been three months,
and I still ain't heard shit.
Ain't no telling, man, you know?
It's hard to say really.
Alright, so is there
somebody that I can call?
I mean, you could call BA again,
but it ain't gonna make
the money get there no quicker, dog.
Some niggas wait years
to see the bread, dog.
- It's just part of the game, man.
- Alright. So, is it
Is it a way I can get, like,
an advance or something?
Like, I'm broke as shit
Hey, hey, my nigga. Listen here, man.
You talkin' to the wrong person, man.
Eh, keep grinding though.
Fuck.
Fuck all this ♪
Fuck this, yo, bitch ♪
I been getting cash ♪
Cash, bitch ♪
Racks, yo, big racks, I need
my cake like a fat bitch ♪
Got baguettes in my richer
meal, bitch, I'm damn rich ♪
Yo, I just cracked ♪
I called earlier.
I'm dead sick of y'all,
I been hustling ♪
Whatever I can get, man.
Yo, I been hustling for real ♪
Now, I'm dead 'cause of y'all ♪
Yes, ma'am?
- Melissa wanted to say hi.
- Hi, Daddy.
- When are you coming back?
- Um, I'ma be back soon.
- Alright? I promise.
- Okay.
Alright. Love you.
What are you doing?
You know I got to go soon.
- You taking a break?
- Yeah, something like that.
I know you said you don't want my help,
but Pastor said he's still got
a job for you if you interested.
Oh, j-j-just jot down this number.
Aight. What is it?
305-262
Alright. Thank you.
Okay.
I don't need a bag for that.
That'll be 19.20.
- Debit or credit?
- Credit.
ID, please.
Thank you. Next!
Christmas shopping
a little early, are we?
Actually, our families, w-we
Jehovah's Witnesses. We don't
We don't believe in Christmas.
Okay
You don't got anybody else working?
Can y'all open up another line, please?
Okay. The total is
$5,342.15.
- Will you be paying
with debit or credit?
- Credit.
Okay. ID, please.
Ah
Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. Uh, Burt,
did you get that formula
for Tati Judith?
She texted me earlier, bro. Don't
You remember what happened
last time you forgot that shit?
- Uh, I think so. Yeah.
- Yes, I scanned some.
I'm so sorry. Um
Do you mind if I just
I just need to check the
bags real quick. Real quick.
Um, I'm pretty sure I
scanned some, right?
No, no, no, no. See,
my auntie, she about to
get on a flight, like, tonight,
so I don't need her mad with me.
- Yeah. Okay. Okay.
- Thank you so much.
You remember where you started at? Oh.
Was this on sale?
- 'Cause that's not
- I-I-I think so.
I just don't wanna
be getting overcharged.
Let me just pull this over here.
Okay. Uh
- Cuh, had the thing right here.
- Yeah?
Here it is right here. I'm so sorry.
Oh look! And it went through,
- so all good. Yay.
- Cool.
- Cool.
- Okay. Have a good day.
- Thank you.
- That's it.
Next!
I'm here. Where's your car?
Out of commission.
- So, you need a ride?
- No.
I just need the car seat.
Where the fuck is you
gonna put a car seat?
What do you think?
W-what do you do
when you don't got a car?
Call a Uber?
- There we go.
- You know what?
Take the placement money
and buy your own car seat.
- How about that?
- Wait, what placement money?
- I gave that shit to you.
- So you gave me all the money?
- Why the fuck would you do that?
- Did I have a fucking choice?
I didn't know that my car
was gonna get towed,
and I thought I was gonna get
paid for this placement shit,
and they still ain't paid me
nothing for my engineer work,
alright? I
It's like I'm begging motherf
Over this shit.
I see you.
Thank you.
You good?
Yeah. Just gotta
figure some shit out.
Long as I known you, you always
been so focused on your music.
I hated it when I was with you, but
I respected it.
Because you're so good at it.
Sound like you believe
in me or some shit.
It's 'cause you a rapper now?
And when was you gonna mention that?
You don't tell me shit.
Yeah, aight.
I'm gonna give you
the money for the car.
What? Nah. Nah, fuck all that.
I don't need no handouts.
It's not a handout.
Maybe you could listen to our song.
We need somebody to produce it.
Look at this,
way too many hoes on my dick ♪
I can't even take a fucking piss ♪
Big weird, stop acting
like R. Kelly, lil bruh ♪
Fake woke hoes,
they just fucking for brunch ♪
Bitch, my money longer
than the DMV line, line ♪
Cartier my eyes, got my VV,
VV sublime-lime-lime ♪
Money talk ♪
What's up? I was actually
just about to
What?!
Okay, so boom. Check this.
I was here like this.
Scoot here, Treasure.
- So, I'm down here.
- Ooh yeah, baby.
- That's it. That's it.
- And I don't know, like,
- the nigga must've
- Wait, what is your head doing?
His shit was crooked,
so this is my angle, bitch.
- Oh
- So, the nigga
Did you try that succotash
technique I told you about?
No, bitch!
His pubes was too long, so I
didn't want no shit getting st
Can you finish?!
Treasure, stop interrupting her! Damn!
And how the fuck did that nigga
know where the money was at?!
Shit, I don't know!
I-I think the shit was planned
'cause the nigga came
through the door like
Boom! Get yo ass on the ground!
He didn't even do all that.
Bitch, you wasn't there!
What kind of gun did he have?
You know I don't know guns like that.
Maybe it was a Glock.
What's a Glock look like?
That was all our money for the week!
Do y'all know anything about this nigga?
He was in a black car.
I came out the shower
when it pulled off.
Anything more specific?
- He wore Goodfellow underwear.
- How the fuck
- is that supposed to help us, Treasure?
- I don't know!
Maybe the nigga worked
at Target or something!
Okay, so we supposed to
go to customer service
- and ask for a pussy refund?
- Girl, maybe!
Hey. Did you say he had
a black car? Was it a Nissan?
Yeah.
- Did it have a Heat logo?
- Mm-hmm.
How we gonna get paid, Duke?
- Hey.
- What's up?
Oh, shit!
I thought somebody was sitting there.
It's my roommate's. She been
leaving her hair everywhere!
Yo, you live
around the corner from my auntie.
I do?
Yeah. How long you been staying here?
- Like, a year?
- Mm.
Why was it so urgent? What
happened to that last re-up?
Student loans, rent.
Plus, I needed to get
some gear for my studio.
- Look at you.
- You wanna see it?
- I get to see your room?
- See,
why you making this something it's not?
Give a nigga an inch.
Just happy I get to see something new.
- Ta-da.
- Okay!
I thought for sure your room was
going to be painted all black.
- What is that supposed to mean?
- Nothing.
You just seem like the type to
be punching holes in the wall.
Oh! SM7B?
First of all,
what do you know about that?
I know some shit now.
- Me and Mia just made our first song.
- Oh, oh!
- For real?
- Yeah. It's really different,
- but it's also really fucking good.
- Mm.
I just got to work out the
production 'cause, right now,
we just recorded over
a K-Wang instrumental.
Mm. Now I know why you
needed that extra bread.
Honestly, I'm shocked you
came through so quickly.
I told you I'm Mr. Fix It.
And my connect was on standby.
That nigga was ready.
- Well, thank you.
- You welcome. To be honest,
I thought you would have
copped out a long time ago.
Yeah, I was going to,
but I need the money,
and it's not that hard.
But I don't want to keep doing it. Like,
- just every now and then.
- That's all I need.
Alright? 'Cause niggas is making
some real jwett money right now.
Look, honestly, bruh, you gimme
a couple more pieces
I keep doing all the dirty work.
Okay.
Goddamn ♪
What a sheesh ♪
Looking for a thick
bitch named Keesh ♪
Dope boy with a reefer ♪
Blowing pound, eyes low like Keesha ♪
Fly with a nigga,
make him pay for it ♪
Send him money, send a wire,
nigga, transport it ♪
Ass you can win a walk,
so he can't ignore it ♪
Shorty, come and get your
man, pretty bitch ♪
How it go?
He said he was gonna fly me
out to wherever they playing next.
Nigga say I got the yams ♪
Sound like it went good to me.
Car gimme shit,
nigga act a fool with it ♪
Pussy fat that's thick
like cold grease ♪
Bitch, I'm young in Miami,
who you fucking with? ♪
Them hoes got robbed?
That's some rookie shit.
You need to let them
bitches go for that.
- And then what?
- We start over.
They're not in this shit to win.
They got you working overtime
and I don't like that.
These new hoes ain't got
no damn ambition.
You seen Mia doing music now?
I saw it.
What you think about it?
I mean, I don't think nothing at all.
All she doing is talking shit,
and I could do that.
I see.
Why?
You thinking about trying
to recruit her again?
Maybe she could replace
loose-pussy Jazmin ass.
I don't know.
Something like that.
Lame-ass hoes,
they keep coming 'round here ♪
50-inch reefer, niggas out my ear ♪
1942, I be popping ♪
All I know is, cuh,
they better re-sell some of this shit.
If they smart.
How long that girl been
running cards for you?
For, like, three or four months.
You trust her?
No!
Come on, man. You know I
don't trust none of these bitches.
Not one of them.
Hey, Tati Judith said make sure
you label that shit, cuh.
She don't want Roselyn accidentally
taking two of them again.
You know she talking
about she colorblind?
All I know is, bro,
we don't need no excuses.
Help me get these in the car.
I'ma tell Auntie we'll
take her to the airport.
Where the keys at?
- Uh
- Aight.
Tati!
Shit.
What, you don't like it? It's bad?
No, no, it's actually fire.
Vocals' crisp. Shit, I didn't
think it was gonna be that good.
Yeah, I tried to stuff it up.
- Yeah, we official.
- I see.
I bet this shit probably cost,
what, a few grand?
Yeah. I'm probably gonna return it.
Nah, please don't do that.
I'm gonna try and fix that.
Ah, ah, ah ♪
- What you doing? It's done?
- Yeah. Check this shit out.
Ah, ah, ah ♪
- What?!
- Mm.
I'ma spend his cream ♪
This for real, dog? What?
Shit, I know. Thank you, ladies.
Hey, whatever. You know I got you.
Oh my god. Damn!
Go insane in it, said this
pussy too wild, no taming it ♪
Yes! What?
If he ain't got change, if he do ♪
Okay!
Hey!
I been seeing that damn freestyle
all up and down my timeline.
Thank you.
Girl, we just finished our first song.
- Shit raw, for real.
- Man, that's what's up.
That's why I fuck with you.
You don't limit yourself.
- So, what y'all gonna do with the song?
- I don't know.
I'm really just leaving it up to Shawna.
She experienced in all this.
Well, you know I know everybody.
Let me help y'all out.
I can get it in front
of the right people.
You'd help us for free?
Yeah, but as your manager.
Me and you go back.
We speak the same language.
We know what it's like
to get it out the mud.
Shit, we can get this shit together.
Hey. I always said you was a star.
I'm just shootin' my shot.
On some real shit, I already
got a vision for y'all.
Man, when I heard
the shit, I'm like, oh!