Rhoda (1974) s01e03 Episode Script

- MY NAME IS RHODA MORGENSTERN.
I WAS BORN IN THE BRONX, NEW YORK IN DECEMBER, 1941.
I'VE ALWAYS FEL RESPONSIBLE FOR WORLD WAR II.
THE FIRST THING I REMEMBER LIKING THAT LIKED ME BACK WAS FOOD.
I HAD A BAD PUBERTY.
IT LASTED 17 YEARS.
I'M A HIGH SCHOOL GRADUATE.
I WENT TO ART SCHOOL.
MY ENTRANCE EXAM WAS ON A BOOK OF MATCHES.
I DECIDED TO MOVE OUT OF THE HOUSE WHEN I WAS 24.
MY MOTHER STILL REFERS TO THIS AS THE TIME I RAN AWAY FROM HOME.
EVENTUALLY, I RAN TO MINNEAPOLIS, WHERE IT'S COLD, AND I FIGURED I'D KEEP BETTER.
NOW I'M BACK IN MANHATTAN.
NEW YORK, THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE.
- HEY, HOW'S IT GOING, DONNIE? - I'M HUNGRY, DAD.
WHEN IS THIS LADY COMING? - WELL, SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HERE BY NOW.
AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO CALL HER, "THIS LADY," YOU CAN CALL HER RHODA.
- HI, RHODA.
- THAT'S IT.
- JUST LIKE THAT.
- HI.
- OH.
- HI, RHODA.
- JOE.
- YOU REMEMBER DONNIE, DON'T YOU? - OF COURSE.
HOW COULD I FORGET DONNIE? ARE YOU KIDDING? HIYA, DONNIE.
- HI.
- OH, I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE, YOU GUYS.
I GOT ON THE BUS.
I DIDN'T HAVE THE EXACT CHANGE.
I HAD TO GET OFF.
- YOU DIDN'T WALK HERE, DID YOU? - NO, NO.
THERE WAS A CAB STOPPED FOR A RED LIGHT SO I WENT OVER AND ASKED HIM TO CHANGE A DOLLAR FOR BUS FARE.
- YOU ASKED A NEW YORK CAB DRIVER FOR CHANGE TO TAKE A BUS? - YEAH.
AND MY ADVICE IS NEVER TO DO THAT.
- WELL, ANYWAY, LOOK, I'M REALLY GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL GO GET US SOMETHING TO EAT.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE? - UHJUST BLACK COFFEE FOR ME.
- THAT'S ALL? - YEAH.
I NEVER LIKE TO EAT IN A ZOO.
I ALWAYS FIGURE, I DON'T KNOW, I MIGHT BE EATING SOMETHING THAT SOMEBODY ELSE IS PETTING.
- ANYWAY, I'LL LEAVE YOU ALONE WITH DONNIE FOR A MINUTE.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[ANIMAL NOISES IN BACKGROUND.]
- WELL SO, DONNIE.
UM HOW'S SCHOOL? I DON'T BELIEVE I ASKED THAT QUESTION.
THAT'S SO DUMB, ASKING A KID HOW HE LIKES SCHOOL.
I BET EVERYBODY YOU EVER MEET ASKS YOU THAT, RIGHT? - UH-HUH.
THEN THEY USUALLY SAY HOW BIG I'M GETTING.
- I USED TO GET THAT, TOO UNTIL LAST YEAR, IN FACT.
- OK.
BLACK COFFEE.
- OH, THANKS, JOE.
DONNIE.
- A CHOCOLATE SUNDAE FOR BREAKFAST? - WELL, I ONLY SEE HIM EVERY OTHER WEEK.
WHAT AM I GOING TO GIVE HIM, POACHED EGGS AND PRUNES? HEY, DONNIE.
WHAT DO YOU WAN TO DO TODAY, PAL? - I DON'T CARE.
JUST SO WE TAKE THE TRAIN BACK EARLY FOR MOM'S BIRTHDAY PARTY.
- TODAY? IS IT TODAY? OH.
THAT'S GOING TO CHANGE OUR PLANS A LITTLE.
- LISTEN, DON' WORRY ABOUT ME.
I CAN TAKE THE BUS HOME.
I HAVE THE EXACT CHANGE NOW.
- IF WE'RE GOING TO GO SOON, COULD I TAKE ANOTHER TRIP AROUND TO SEE IF ANYTHING WOKE UP? - OH, SURE.
I'M SORRY, RHODA.
- IT'S OK.
- I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
I'LL TAKE DONNIE HOME TO TARRYTOWN.
I'LL SAY, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARIAN" TO MY EX-WIFE.
I'LL HURRY RIGHT BACK HERE, WE'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR DINNER.
OK? - PERFECT.
YEAH, THAT'S FINE WITH ME, JOE.
- HEY, UH - YEAH? - YOU THINK DONNIE LIKED ME? - OH, SURE.
- I EVEN BROUGHT HIM A PRESENT.
- I GOT TO SHOW YOU-- - OH, YEAH? WHAT'D YOU GET HIM? - WELL, IT'S A PIGGYBANK.
I MEAN, IT'S NOT REALLY A PIG.
IT'S A CLOWN.
UH, YOU PUT A COIN IN HIS LITTLE HAND AND HE DROPS I IN HIS PANTS.
CLINK.
- YEAH.
IT'S KIND OF SILLY.
- GEE, THAT REMINDS ME, I SHOULD GE MARIAN A PRESENT OR SOMETHING.
WHAT CAN YOU GE SOMEBODY ON A SUNDAY? - OH.
HEY, YOU WAN TO GIVE HER THIS? SURE.
I'LL GET DONNIE SOMETHING ELSE.
- HEY, GREAT! SHE'LL LOVE IT.
I'LL BE A HERO! - WONDERFUL.
- POSSUMS HUNT AT NIGHT AND EAT ALMOST ANY KIND OF ANIMAL OR VEGETABLE FOR FOOD.
INTERESTINGLY, THE POSSUM HAS THE SHORTEST GESTATION PERIOD OF ANY - WHAT IS THAT? - "ANIMAL WORLD.
" - BRENDA, COULD WE PLEASE CHANGE IT? I WAS ALREADY AT THE ZOO TODAY.
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
- THAT'S PROBABLY JOE CALLING ME FROM TARRYTOWN.
HELLO? OH, HI, JOE.
IS IT REALLY? ISN'T THAT FUNNY? I LOST ALL TRACK OF TIME.
SO HOW IS EVERYTHING GOINGYOU KNOWTHERE? SO THE GIFT WEN OVER BIG, HUH? WONDERFUL.
UMWHAT? NO, THAT'S SILLY.
WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY TELL ME THAT I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND? OF COURSE, I UNDERSTAND.
YEAH.
YEAH.
I UNDERSTAND THAT, TOO.
I UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OOH, OOH, YEAH, NOW I UNDERSTAND.
SURE.
YEAH, YEAH.
WELL, UH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BECAUSE TOMORROW FOR LUNCH WILL BE FINE.
SURE.
YEAH, RIGHT.
GOOD NIGHT, JOE.
[SIGHS.]
WELL, YOU KNOW, MARIAN'S BIRTHDAY PARTY IS STILL GOING ON.
- SO? - WELL, DONNIE IS ALLOWED TO STAY UP LATER TONIGHT.
AND, UH HE WANTS JOE TO STAY THERE UNTIL HE GOES TO BED.
AND THAT'S THE WHOLE STORY.
- UH-HUH.
- EXCEPT THAT JOE IS STAYING OVERNIGHT THERE AND THAT'S THE REST OF THE WHOLE STORY.
- GEE, I WONDER WHERE HE'S GOING TO SLEEP.
- I DON'T KNOW, BRENDA.
I DON'T KNOW.
PROBABLY IN SOME SEPARATE GUEST HOUSE.
UHI DON'T KNOW.
POSSIBLY, UHYOU KNOW, A ROOM OVER THE GARAGE.
MAYBE A MOTEL.
- OH, RHODA, I'M SORRY.
I SHOULDN'T BE PUTTING THESE THOUGHTS INTO YOUR HEAD.
- DON'T WORRY, KIDDO.
I HAD 'EM BEFORE YOU HAD 'EM.
OH, BRENDA.
I MEAN, IT STARTS OUT WITH THE INNOCENT BIRTHDAY KISS.
THEN OUT COMES THE BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE.
AND THEN IT'S TIME TO PLAY THAT GREAT AMERICAN GAME, EYE CONTACT.
- WHAT? WHY WOULD JOE BE ATTRACTED TO HER? - HE WAS ATTRACTED TO HER ONCE, BRENDA.
- BUT IF HE STILL LOVES HER, WHY DID THEY GET A DIVORCE? - HEY, WAIT.
WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT LOVE, WE'RE TALKING ABOUT SEX.
- PLEASE.
I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THEY'RE NOT THE SAME THING.
I'M STILL GETTING OVER THE GREAT "WHAT FUN IT IS TO BE A WOMAN" HOAX.
ARE YOU UPSET? - YEAH.
- THEN LET'S EAT SOMETHING.
- YOU KNOW, I WISH I COULD STOP THINKING ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON IN TARRYTOWN.
BUT I CAN HEAR THE WHOLE DIALOGUE IN MY HEAD.
THEY'RE SITTING THERE IN THE LIVING ROOM, RIGHT? COMFORTABLE.
ON THE COUCH.
LOOKING INTO EACH OTHER'S EYES.
HE I THINK I BETTER GET BACK.
SHE YOU SURE YOU DON' WANT TO STAY OVER? [SIGHS.]
HE SAYS, "WAIT A MINUTE.
I'LL MAKE A PHONE CALL.
" THEN SHE SAYS, "GOOD.
MEANWHILE, I'LL SLIP INTO SOMETHING MORE COMFORTABLE.
" HE BUT YOU'RE ALREADY WEARING A NEGLIGEE.
SHE HA HA HA HA.
- BOY, SHE HAS A MEAN LAUGH.
- LOOK, MARIAN, WE WEN THROUGH ALL THIS LAST NIGHT.
YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD HOUSE IN TARRYTOWN.
WHY DO YOU WAN TO MOVE TO CROTON? IT'S 10 MILES AWAY! HOW COULD THE AIR BE BETTER? RIGHT! OK, MARIAN.
WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT SOME OTHER TIME, ALL RIGHT? SWELL.
GOOD-BYE.
- HI.
- HI, RHODA.
LOOK, UH, I'M HAVING KIND OF A TOUGH DAY, HERE.
WE'RE NOT GOING TO HAVE TIME TO GO OUT TO LUNCH.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE HAVE SOME SANDWICHES HERE, OK? - OK, SURE.
- LET'S SEE, WE GOT, UHHAM AND BOLOGNA AND AMERICAN CHEESE.
TAKE YOUR CHOICE.
- I CAN'T DECIDE.
EVERYTHING LOOKS SO GOOD.
- COFFEE? - SURE.
- [SIGHS.]
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER I SHOULD HAVE THE CHEESE OR THE HAM OR DID YOU SLEEP WITH MARIAN LAST NIGHT? - WHAT? - I GUESS I'LL HAVE THE HAM.
- SLEEP WITH MY EX-WIFE? WHY WOULD I DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT? - FOR THE SAME REASON I ATE 2 PIZZAS LAST NIGHT.
- OK.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU.
MARIAN AND I HAD A TERRIBLE ARGUMENT ABOUT YOU.
- OH.
WELL, I HOPE YOU PATCH IT UP.
I WANT YOUR DIVORCE TO RUN SMOOTHLY.
- DON'T WORRY.
IF WE HADN'T HAVE ALREADY BEEN DIVORCED, THIS WOULD HAVE DONE IT.
BUT I'M GLAD IT HAPPENED.
BECAUSE I LEARNED SOMETHING.
- YOU MEAN IT, JOE? - YEAH.
- TERRIFIC.
WHAT? - I LEARNED I NEVER WAN TO GET MARRIED AGAIN.
- WHAT A SWELL THING TO LEARN.
- NO, NO.
IT JUST NEVER WORKS OUT.
- I THINK IT CAN.
I'M NOT CAMPAIGNING, YOU UNDERSTAND.
IT'S JUST AN OPINION, BUT I THINK IT CAN WORK.
- NAME ME ONE MARRIAGE THAT YOU'VE EVER SEEN WORK.
- OZZIE AND HARRIET.
- I THINK THEY'RE STAYING TOGETHER BECAUSE OF THE KIDS.
- HEY, LISTEN, JOE.
I MEAN, IS THIS JUST A NICE, LIVELY TOPIC OF CONVERSATION FOR LUNCH OR ARE YOU, UH TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING? HMM? - WELL, MAYBE I AM.
- [SIGHS.]
- LOOK, RHODA.
WE'RE STARTING TO GE SERIOUS ABOUT EACH OTHER AND I'M FEELING BOXED IN AND I DON'T LIKE THE FEELING.
AND YET, I DON'T WANT TO HURT WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN US.
- SO, WHAT DO YOU WANT, JOE? - I WANT US TO TAKE A FEW STEPS BACK.
- HOW MANY STEPS? - NOT TOO MANY.
MAYBE WE JUST SHOULDN' SEE EACH OTHER AS MUCH.
- OK.
BUT, JOE, I'M NOT GOING TO SIT HOME AND WAIT FOR YOU TO DECIDE WHEN IT IS YOU WANT TO SEE ME.
- THEN SEE OTHER PEOPLE.
I DON'T MIND.
- OK, I WILL.
- I WILL, TOO.
- I MIND.
- THAT'S NOT FAIR.
- YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S NOT FAIR? JOE YOU'RE AFRAID TO CARE ABOUT SOMEBODY.
- YOU BET.
THAT'S WHY I THINK THAT WE BOTH SHOULD WELL, TAKE A BREATHER FOR A WHILE.
KIND OF HANG LOOSE.
YOU KNOW.
- OH, DO I KNOW.
I'VE BEEN HANGING LOOSE ALL MY LIFE.
YEAH, SURE.
YEAH.
NEW YORK CITY IS A GREAT BIG LOOSE TOWN.
AND THERE'S LOTS OF LOOSE PEOPLE HANGING IN IT.
SO WHY TIE YOURSELF DOWN TO ONE PERSON, RIGHT? ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU CAN' THINK OF ONE HAPPY MARRIAGE.
YEAH.
PRINCESS GRACE, PRINCE RAINIER.
ROY ROGERS, DALE EVANS.
SOPHIA LOREN, CARLO PONTI.
WILL AND ARIEL DURANT.
MY MOM AND DAD! MASTERS AND JOHNSON! - WHEN'S YOUR DATE COMING? - UGH, DON'T REMIND ME.
ANYTIME NOW.
HERE I GO AGAIN, WITH THE NERDS.
[SIGHS.]
33 YEARS OLD AND I'M BACK IN THE LINE OF SCRIMMAGE.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'LL BE SO BAD? AFTER ALL, JOE WAS DIFFERENT.
- YEAH.
[DOOR BUZZER.]
- SO, I THINK I'VE HAD MY ONE DIFFERENT.
I MEAN, IN THAT BIG DATING BOOK IN THE SKY, BRENDA, I FEEL THAT'S PROBABLY ALL YOU'RE ENTITLED TO.
YEAH, CARLTON? - HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS ME, CARLTON? - I JUST TOOK A SHOT.
I THINK HE JUS DID THE SAME.
WHO IS IT? - SAY, THERE'S A, UHA STEVEN DOWN HERE TO SEE YOU.
- UH-HUH.
GOOD, CARLTON.
JUST SEND HIM UP, THANK YOU.
- OK, BUT I SHOULDN'T.
I'M ON A BREAK.
- STEVEN? - CLOSE ENOUGH.
KIRK STEVENS.
AN ACTOR I MET TODAY ON, UH, UNEMPLOYMENT LINE, WHERE I WAS HANGING LOOSE.
- OH, AN ACTOR.
- YEAH.
- HEY, WHAT'S HE LIKE? - WHAT CAN I TELL YOU? HE WEARS JEANS WITH NAILHEADS ON THEM.
SORT OF AN OLD YOUTH.
- HE DOESN'T SOUND LIKE YOUR TYPE.
- BRENDA, "NOT MY TYPE" IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.
I MEAN, IT DOESN'T MAKE AS MUCH SENSE TO GO OUT WITH A GUY THAT YOU REALLY CARE FOR WHO'S NO SERIOUS ABOUT YOU, RIGHT? I MEAN, I WANT SOMEBODY THAT'S JUS CASUAL ABOUT ME, SO I CAN BE CASUAL ABOUT HIM.
AND I CAN BE VERY CASUAL ABOUT A MAN WHO WEARS JEANS ENCRUSTED WITH NAILHEADS.
- GEE, YOU'VE GOT ALL THESE DIFFEREN KINDS OF RELATIONSHIPS.
- WELL, DON'T YOU? - NO.
JUST ONE.
I TAKE AN INSTANT LIKING TO ANYBODY WHO ASKS ME OUT.
[RHYTHMIC KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- CUTE.
HI.
- HEY.
- I ALWAYS LIKE TO GE THAT OUT OF THE WAY FIRST.
- I'VE GOT SOMETHING I'D LIKE TO GET OUT OF THE WAY, TOO.
NO.
- BEAUTIFUL.
I LIKE A GIRL I'M GOING TO HAVE TROUBLE WITH.
- OH.
THEN YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST CRAZY ABOUT ME.
UMKIRK, THIS IS MY SISTER BRENDA.
- HEY.
- YOU'RE AN ACTOR, HUH? WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN IN? - MOSTLY I DO TV COMMERCIALS.
- I DON'T EVER REMEMBER SEEING YOU.
WHAT WAS YOUR LAST ONE? - WELL, YOU WOULDN' HAVE RECOGNIZED ME.
I WAS ABOUT THAT BIG.
AND MY FACE WAS ALL BLACK.
AND I WAS COMING UP OU OF A DRAINPIPE.
- YOU'RE MR.
GRIME.
HEY, RHO, THIS IS MR.
GRIME.
- NO KIDDING.
THAT'S THE FIRST TIME I EVER FOUND THAT OUT BEFORE A DATE.
- I DON'T WANT TO WRAP ABOU MY COMMERCIALS ALL NIGHT.
WHAT DO YOU DO? - I WORK IN A BANK.
- I DID A COMMERCIAL FOR A BANK ONCE.
THEY JUST USED PART OF ME.
- OH.
WHICH PART? - I GOT THAT.
BUT IT'S THE COMMERCIAL, YOU KNOW, WHERE THIS GUY REACHES OUT HIS HAND AT THE END, AND HE SAYS, "WE'RE THERE WHEN YOU NEED A HELPING HAND.
" - OH, THE HELPING HAND.
- OH, YEAH.
I'VE SEEN THAT.
- YEAH.
WELL, HERE'S THE PART YOU DON'T SEE.
THE GUY HAS THESE FAT, STUBBY LITTLE FINGERS, AND HE BITES HIS NAILS.
- YEAH? - YEAH.
SO, THE HELPING HAND THAT YOU ACTUALLY SEE ISN'T HIS HAND.
IT'S MY HAND.
- YOU'RE SURE TAKING THE MAGIC OUT OF TELEVISION.
- YOU KNOW THE ONE WHERE THE HOCKEY PLAYER IS SHAVING? HIS FACE IS SCARRED FROM HOCKEY PUCKS.
THEY USE MY CHEEKS.
- BOY, IT MAKES YOU WONDER.
TELL ME, IS WALTER CRONKITE ALL THE SAME PERSON? - I GOT THAT.
HEH HEH.
WELL, IT'S 8:00.
UH, WE'LL HAVE SOME DINNER AND THENWHATEVER.
- IF EVER.
- UH, WAIT A MINUTE.
NOW, IN CASE WE COME BACK HERE LATER, UH, WHAT ARE THE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS? - THEY'RE SIMPLE.
SHE SLEEPS THERE, I SLEEP HERE, AND YOU DON'T.
- ANYWAY, I HAVE AN EARLY AUDITION TOMORROW.
I'M UP FOR THE PART OF HAMLET.
- OH, REALLY, KIRK? WHICH PART OF HAMLET? [BUZZING.]
- OH, YOU BEAT ME AGAIN.
- LOOKS LIKE IT.
- ARE YOU SURE YOU NEVER PLAYED PONG BEFORE? - NO, NO NEVER.
JUST THE LAST 3 HOURS WITH YOU.
LISTEN, MAYBE WE SHOULD CALL IT A NIGHT.
HUH, KIRK? PLEASE? - YOU KNOW, I GOT THIS FEELING.
AND I'VE NEVER HAD THIS FEELING BEFORE WHEN I'VE BEEN OUT WITH A GIRL THAT MAYBE I'M NO ENJOYING THE EVENING.
RHODA, I'LL BE VERY HONEST WITH YOU.
I GOT THIS MACHO THING WHERE I CAN'T STAND TO HAVE A GIRL BEAT ME AT ANYTHING.
- OH, I'M SORRY.
I HAVE THIS CUTE, LITTLE GIRL THING THAT DELIGHTS IN KILLING YOU AT THAT GAME.
- COME ON, BABY, ONE MORE TIME.
- KIRK, YOU CAN' POSSIBLY CATCH UP.
I'M TOO FAR AHEAD OF YOU.
- YEAH, I KNOW, BUT I GOT TO WIN ONE GAME.
AS SOON AS I DO, WE'LL QUIT, WE'LL GO TO MY APARTMENT.
OK? - OH? - BUT DON'T LET ME WIN ON ACCOUNT OF THAT.
JUST WAIT.
- DON'T WORRY.
- CHANGE, I'M GOING TO NEED ANOTHER $20 WORTH OF QUARTERS.
- OH, BRENDA, I'M SO SORRY.
I TRIED NOT TO WAKE YOU WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR.
- IT WASN'T THE DOOR.
THE SOUND OF WHIPPED CREAM ALWAYS WAKES ME UP.
HOW WAS YOUR DATE? - WELL, THE HIGH POINT WAS THE AMUSEMENT CENTER ON BROADWAY.
AND THE LOW POINT WAS WHEN HE ASKED ME BACK TO HIS APARTMEN TO SPEND THE NIGHT.
WHEN I SAID, "NO," HE GAVE ME 12 QUARTERS AND PU ME IN A CAB.
- WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM SOMEONE WHO COMES UP OUT OF A DRAINPIPE? - OH, LISTEN, LAST I SAW OF HIM, HE WAS PLAYING PONG WITH HIMSELF.
STILL LOSING.
HOW WAS YOUR EVENING? WHAT'D YOU DO? - OH, FINE.
I WATCHED A LITTLE TELEVISION AND THEN I FELL ASLEEP UNTIL THE PHONE WOKE ME UP.
PHONE WOKE ME UP.
RHODA, JOE CALLED.
- WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? - I'M SORRY.
I GUESS I'M STILL HALF-ASLEEP.
- WELL, WHAT'D HE SAY? - WELL, HE ASKED IF YOU WERE HERE, AND I SAID, "NO," YOU HAD A DATE, AND HE SAID, "THANK YOU" AND HUNG UP.
- BRENDA, DIDN'T HE LEAVE A MESSAGE OR ANYTHING? - NO, NEITHER TIME.
- BRENDA, ARE YOU TELLING ME HE CALLED HERE TWICE? - HUH? - YEAH.
- BRENDA, BRENDA.
WAKE UP.
- STOP, STOP.
- NOW, LISTEN TO ME.
WHAT DID HE SAY? WHY WAS HE CALLING? DID HE TELL YOU? WHAT? - NO.
- OH, BOY.
HE MUST HAVE CALLED TO TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD.
I MEAN, HE WOULDN'T CALL TWICE TO TELL ME SOMETHING BAD, RIGHT? HE ALREADY TOLD ME SOMETHING BAD UNLESS IT'S EVEN WORSE.
OOH.
YEAH.
AND HE CALLED TO SORT OF, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE HE FEL HE OWED IT TO ME.
YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES PEOPLE THINK THAT THEY'RE NOT REALLY BEING STRAIGHT WITH YOU UNLESS THEY SEE YOU HYSTERICAL.
- RHODA, WHY DON' YOU FORGET ABOUT IT? OR YOU'LL START IMAGINING ALL KINDS OF CRAZY THINGS, LIKE BEFORE.
WAIT UNTIL HE CALLS AGAIN.
- I'M GOING TO WAIT.
OK, ENOUGH WAITING, I'M GOING TO CALL HIM.
- HE'S NOT HOME.
- HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT? - HE SAID HE WAS WALKING THE STREETS AND HE'D CALL BACK.
- JUST MY LUCK, HE'LL GO INTO A PHONE BOOTH AND FIND SOME OTHER GIRL'S PHONE NUMBER.
[DOOR BUZZER.]
- NOW, THAT'S GOT TO BE JOE.
- OR MAYBE IT'S KIRK.
MAYBE HE FOUND AN ALL-NIGHT PINBALL MACHINE.
YES? - THIS IS CARLTON.
- YEAH.
- THE DOORMAN.
- CARLTON, I KNOW YOU'RE THE DOORMAN.
IS THAT WHAT YOU CALLED TO TELL ME? - NO.
THERE'S A MAN ON HIS WAY UP TO SEE YOU.
SHOULD I STOP HIM? [KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- NEVER MIND, CARLTON.
- HI, BRENDA.
OK, LET'S TALK.
- UH YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'LL GO TAKE A BATH.
I'LL TAKE JOHNNY CARSON WITH ME.
- HI, JOE.
UMHOW'D YOU KNOW I'D BE HOME? - OH, IT'S JUST A LUCKY GUESS.
- OH.
- I HAPPEN TO BE STANDING IN THE PHONE BOOTH ACROSS THE STREET FOR A COUPLE HOURS AND I SAW YOU COME IN.
- OH.
- LOOK, RHODA, THIS TRIAL SEPARATION ISN'T WORKING OUT.
- OH, IT ISN'T? - WELL, DO YOU THINK IT'S WORKING? - GEE, I DON'T KNOW, JOE.
I WAS NEVER SEPARATED FROM ANYBODY BEFORE EXCEPT MY MOTHER.
- WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY.
ON MONDAY, I MADE UP MY MIND THAT I WASN'T GOING TO GET INVOLVED.
AND WHAT'S TODAY? - FRIDAY.
- RIGHT.
THAT'S, UH, 4 DAYS LATER AND I'M CLIMBING THE WALLS.
HELL, I'M CLIMBING THE FLOOR.
- GEE, JOE, THAT'S TOO BAD.
- AND THEN TONIGHT.
TONIGHTI DON'T KNOWI I--I HATED THE GUY YOU WERE WITH AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HIM.
- YOU WOULDN'T LIKE HIM ANY BETTER IF YOU KNEW HIM.
- RHODA, AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, FROM NOW ON, YOU'RE THE ONLY GIRL I WANT TO SEE.
NOW, YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT.
I DON'T WANT TO BE POSSESSIVE BECAUSE THAT CAN RUIN A RELATIONSHIP, SO, YOU'RE STILL FREE, BUT I'M CALLING OFF MY PART OF THE DEAL.
- OK, NOW, JUST WAIT.
LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.
NOW, LET'S SAY THAT I ALSO CALL OFF MY PART OF THE DEAL.
I MEAN, UH, IF SO, UH WHAT RELATIONSHIP DID YOU HAVE IN MIND? I MEAN, YOU KNOW, CASUAL, SERIOUS, THE, UHWHOLE ENCHILADA, OR WHAT? - WELL, THOSE ARE THE THINGS THA WE CAN FIGURE OUT TOGETHER.
- RIGHT.
- BUT, WHAT I WANT TO SAY RIGH NOWI THINK THAT--THA YOU SHOULD KNOW, I MEAN, TO GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN DAMN IT, RHODA, I LOVE YOU.
- IT'S THE MOVIES THEY'RE MAKING TODAY.
YUP.
A MAN CAN'T SAY HE LOVES YOU WITHOUT CURSING.
- WELL, HOWEVER I SAID IT, I MEANT IT.
- IT WAS REALLY GOOD, JOE.
BECAUSE, DAMN IT, I LOVE YOU, TOO.
I DO.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
- HELLO? HEY, JOE, YOU JUST LEFT.
WHAT? GEE, I DON'T KNOW, BU I'LL SURE TAKE A LOOK.
YEAH.
YES, I CAN SEE YOU IN THE PHONE BOOTH.
HEH HEH HEH.
YOU'RE CRAZY, YOU KNOW THAT? ME, TOO, JOE.
GOOD NIGHT.
- GEE, RHO.
BET YOU FEEL A LO BETTER NOW, HUH? - OH, BREN--YOU WERE LISTENING.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHING JOHNNY CARSON.