Ripping Yarns (1976) s01e03 Episode Script

In 1916, in the heart of the Kaiser's Germany, were prisoners of war for whom the iron heel of submission was intolerable.
This is the story of one such man.
Ginger.
Ginger.
The escape's on.
- What? - It's on tonight.
Let's go.
No, no.
I don't want to go.
Ginger, it's the escape.
The big escape.
No, no.
I want to get some sleep.
Dusty? Dusty? Dusty! - Time to go.
- Go? The escape.
It's on tonight.
Look, you go, Major.
I've got this terrible cold.
I can't seem to shake it off.
Don't you want to get back to Blighty? See Nora and the kids? Yes, obviously.
But I don't want to go back all sneezing and snuffling and have to go straight to bed.
But Oh! Carter? Carter? Oh, piss off.
What's the matter with you all? Where's all that British spunk? Well, whatever you lot do, I'm going tonight! Cheerio.
Bye-bye.
This is your last chance.
Does anyone want to come with me? Anyone? Anyone want to come just a bit of the way? No, right, good.
I'll do the whole damn escape by myself.
- Blast! - Goodness' sake! Quiet! Can't you let me get some sleep? - Ooh! Oh! - Aw, shut up, Phipps! For God's sake! You miserable bunch of cowards! You lazy loafing lot of layabouts! Don't you know there's a war on out there? Don't you know there are people out there fighting to keep this world safe and free - for people like you and me? Well, I'm going to join them, do you hear? You won't keep me cooling my heels in here when there's Huns to fight and Boche to kill! - I'm going, getting out.
I'm off.
You won't keep me in here while there's a war to win.
- Goodbye! Oh, hello.
Major Errol Phipps was a legend among prisoners in the First World War.
He had attempted over 560 escapes, 200 of them before he left England.
On arrival in Germany, he escaped regularly every day and twice a day at weekends.
And so it was on June the 4th, 1917, after escaping six times in one day, Phipps found himself being taken by the Germans to the most notorious prison camp of all.
- Where are you from? - Er, Reigate.
Ah, yes.
Know it well.
I'm a Dorking man myself.
Ah.
Yes.
Do you know the Eel and Partridge? No.
No, I don't.
- Want a cigarette? - Oh, zigarette.
- Nice little pub.
- Danke.
It's just outside Banstead.
Do you know, the barman there has this amazing Anyway, the barman at the Eel and Partridge has this incredible old dog, Benji.
- Do you know what he can do? - No, no.
He's the only dog, and I kid you not, the only dog I've ever known who can drink six pints of beer and sing Lily of Laguna.
Honestly, I swear as God's my witness, Phipps, I've seen that dog, totally pissed, sing all four verses and with his foot.
Mark you Although Major Phipps attempted to escape nine more times on that fateful journey, it seemed that at last, the Germans had broken the soul of this hardened escaper.
For now he was at the gates of Stalag Luft 1 12 B, the most prestigious prisoner-of-war camp of all.
The finest British officers were here and there was a waiting list of several years to get in.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Up on the note, up.
Once more.
- Ja.
It's good.
- Ja.
Move! Captain Nicholson and Major Phipps.
- How do you do? I'm - What are you doing in here? - What? - How dare you come in here? This is British sovereign territory.
You know that damn well.
We was delivering prisoners.
You are not delivering prisoners.
You are delivering British officers.
And when you deliver British officers, you wait outside the door until a member of the arrivals committee, being in previous receipt of an allocation form signed by your commandant, comes to receive them.
Listen, who's winning the bloody war? Don't you dare use language like that in front of a British officer.
Gets on my wick, all this.
You're supposed to be prisoners.
You come here because you got captured.
Because you're not very good at fighting.
- And now we get all this.
- You see that man over there? That's Captain Walcott.
He won two DSOs and made a single-handed night attack that destroyed four German positions.
Over there is Sergeant Major Errol, the first of the Northumberland Fusiliers over the top at Mons.
Archie Tucker, Lieutenant Tucker to you, commander of the first ship to break the North Atlantic blockade in 1915.
- They still got captured.
- And lucky for you they did.
You might have had the French in here, or the Greeks, or the Poles.
Would you rather have that than a prison camp full of some of the finest soldiers of this or any other war? It's just not fair.
Just because you haven't got the guts to get captured.
I was nearly captured once.
I was.
I was standing next to a man who was captured.
- It could have been me.
Suddenly Phipps saw his chance.
While his friends were causing this diversion, he would test the so-called impregnability of Stalag Luft 1 12 B.
Get his gun, quick! Hey, you! Major, come back! Phipps, come back! Do you hear me? This is your last warning.
Thank you, Herr Attenborough.
You couldn't run a bloody jumble sale, could you, Vogel? - Hello, Buffy.
- Hello, Biffo.
- Hello, Squidgy.
- Hello.
Hello, Biffo.
- Hello, Dumbo.
- Hello, Biffo! At ease, chaps.
Hello, Tosh.
Hello, Smudger.
Hello, Spiker, how's the leg? It's nearly finished, sir.
Good, damn good.
What's the matter, Chips? Feeling low? Oh.
No, no, it's It's nothing, sir.
I know, I know.
I feel like that sometimes.
- Cigarette? - Oh, yeah.
I've got one somewhere, sir.
Anything I can do, Chips? No, it's nothing, sir.
It's just It's just that the wife's Wife's got married - Married again, sir.
- Ah.
- Oh.
Have you got any tipped? No, sir.
Just these, sir.
I've got a cigar.
- But I was I was going to save that.
- Oh, that'll do.
Thanks.
She was everything to me, sir.
Everything I ever had.
We had such good times together.
Last leave was the best of all, sir.
Then this.
I don't know how she could do it, sir.
- Where's the cigar? - It's on the locker, sir, behind the photo.
Ah, yes.
Thanks.
I just I feel so helpless, sir.
I want to be back there with her.
But it's too late.
Can't see the cigar anywhere.
It's probably fallen down the back, sir.
Ah, fine.
I I've never told anyone this before, sir, but there was a time when we we didn't get on that well, sir.
The wife The wife had an operation down there, sir.
- I can't see it.
- And afterwards, she - She didn't like doing it.
- What? She didn't like doing it for a bit, sir.
- Is this it? - Oh, yes.
That's it, sir.
- She sent it to me for Christmas.
- Oh, thanks.
- So, you're Phipps, are you? - Yes, that's right, sir.
I'm Harry Harcourt Badger Owen, but senior ranks call me Biffo.
I'm the CO here.
Got any cigarettes? No, don't smoke, sir.
Try to keep fit.
Never know when the moment might come, sir.
- The moment? - To escape, sir.
- Get back home.
Fight the Boche.
- Ah, yes.
I know how you feel.
The trouble is, this damn place is virtually impossible to get out of, as I believe you learned early on.
Well, I've had a few ideas since then, sir.
I've started on a glider made entirely out of toilet roll holders.
Ah, yes, you see, we have a sort of, er, agreement here about escapes.
We have a sort of system whereby all escape plans go to an escape committee.
The committee then recommends some of them to a full session of the escape board.
And whichever plan has a two-thirds majority is put to a secret ballot.
And the plan with the most votes then becomes the official plan, and goes to the escape plan review committee.
- Yes - And if they like it, they'll commission - a feasibility study.
- When's the next meeting, sir? June the 5th.
- June the 5th? - Yes, 3:30.
But don't tell anybody.
But that's four months away.
Yes, well, the trouble is, with Easter coming up, and then there's the start of the cricket season - But the war might be over by then.
- Well, let's hope not, obviously.
Listen.
I've made a start on the fuselage.
All I need is a couple of your fellows to help me with the wings.
Look.
- For God's sake, put that thing away.
- Hey, watch out! - Shut it, you damn fool.
- Be careful! Listen, Phipps, I don't want to hear anything about escape plans except through the correct channels, do you hear? There are 1400 toilet rolls in there.
I'm sorry, Phipps, but this is our camp and we do things our way.
You bally idiots! What's the matter with you? Don't you want to escape? There's a proper way of doing things, Phipps.
Like sitting on your arses till the war's over? Now listen, Phipps, either you play it our way or you don't play it at all.
I wouldn't play it your way.
Not while there's a war to win.
I'm going to escape, you hear me? I'm going to escape, even if I have to do it on my own.
You will be on your own, Major Phipps.
I can assure you of that.
Cheerio, Spiker.
Pads out for junior league tomorrow.
Righto, Biffo, sir.
Remember I'm going in number three this year, sir.
- Damn good.
Cheerio, Smudger.
- Cheerio, Biffo.
- Cheerio, Buffy.
- Cheerio, Biffo.
- Cheerio, Squidgy.
- Cheerio, Biffo.
- Cheerio, Dumbo.
- Cheerio, Biffo.
Cheerio, Biffo.
Whoa! Damn fine shot.
Well done, sir.
As the weeks went by, Major Phipps' contempt for the attitude of his fellow officers drew him into an ever-deepening isolation as he dedicated himself night and day to the one goal of escape.
Working entirely alone and with a mind obsessed with his desire for freedom, he became almost a recluse Good God! How dare you, sir! Help! hardly ever speaking or communicating with his comrades as his plans neared completion.
Until, after months of this solitary work, the great day arrived.
- Where are they? - You're not supposed to be in here.
- Where are they? - He's right, you know, we're not really meant - to come in here.
- Shut up! If you don't tell me where they are, I'll blow your head off.
We're definitely not allowed to do that, Herr Unteroffizier.
Stop telling me my business.
What are you talking about? Them! Where have they gone? Was it a tunnel? Was it a wire job, huh? You mean they've They've escaped? Of course they bloody escaped! - Their victory.
- Whose side are you on? I am on the side of justice, mein Herr, und legality.
Christ.
Now, where are your nasty little friends? Herr Vogel, what about the Red Cross? To hell with the Red Cross! Listen, what's the use of having a war where nobody does anything bad to each other? What's the point in a war where everyone's saying, "Hello, how are you? Good evening, old chap, have some chocolate.
" Surely there are humanitarian considerations which are applicable even in wartime.
I know.
I mean, there's nothing I'd like better, to give people my chocolate and say, "Hello, how are you?" But conditions of war create an unreality which call for a different kind of moral code.
Are you saying that we should abrogate our basic responsibilities for our fellow men because of some disagreement over the size of the Austrian Empire? No, I'm saying there's a moral code that supersedes individual moral codes during a time of war.
- But what you're saying - Shut up! No more argument.
From now on, we run this prison camp as though there is a war on.
Do what you like.
You'll never keep me in here now.
Major Phipps, in this prison camp there are over 45 highly trained, fully armed guards.
If you think we can't take care of one cowardly British officer Don't you dare call me cowardly! I've escaped more times than all of them put together.
Well, this is one time that you're not going to escape.
By the time I've finished with this place, no one will ever escape again.
Schnell.
Left, right, left, right, left, right, left, right.
Squad, halt! Left turn.
Prisoners will answer their names.
- Phipps? - Here.
Alles hier, mein Kommandant.
Und now, sport.
Vogel's pressure was tremendous.
Every move Phipps made was watched and controlled by guards, working sometimes 18 or 20 hours a day.
There seemed no way out.
Prisoner, attention! Left turn! Prisoner, attention! Right turn! Psst.
Psst.
- What do you want? - We wondered if What? We wondered if you were thinking of escaping at all.
You don't think I'd tell you even if I were, do you? Of course not.
Of course not.
It's just that - What? - Well If you are, we wondered if perhaps we could come with you? - You? - We want to get out of here.
We can't stand it any longer.
- What is this? - You don't know what it's like.
We're not happy here.
- Vogel making it too tough for you, eh? - No! It's just that we used to have rules.
We knew where we were.
We knew them all off by heart.
We had to, and Major Attenborough used to make sure we kept to them.
Ja, ja, he was a good sort.
He'd never have allowed us in here like this.
This is sovereign British territory.
You can't suddenly make us do things which are not in the book.
Herr Vogel's cancelled our leave! He's put up all those lights.
And now it's impossible to get out.
But Herr Major, you know the camp better than anyone.
Please, can you help us to escape? You really want me to help you escape? It's not only us, the commandant wants to escape as well.
We've never done it before and you're doing it so often.
Please help us, Herr Major.
I will never besmirch the name of my regiment and my country by collaborating with the enemy.
Oh, Herr Major, please help us.
Help us.
When I escape, I will escape in my own time.
Now get off my bed! Phipps went back to sleep that night happier than for many weeks.
The camp was falling apart before his very eyes.
All he needed to do now was to choose his moment and effect the most spectacular escape in the history of the war.
Oh, my God! It's open! Where are they? - Where are they? - What do you mean? Quit the fooling.
I'm in no mood for a fooling, I warn you.
I want to know what you've done with my 45 highly trained guards.
- I haven't done anything with them.
- Where are my highly trained guards? - How should I know? - Listen! - That definitely is against the regulations.
- Sod the regulations! I want to know, where are my 45 highly trained guards? Well, they said something about escaping.
They what? Yeah, they were so fed up with conditions here Escaping? Stop! Steinbeck! Schwartzenberg! Venkavich! Stop! Phipps! - You must stop them.
- What? They are escaping.
You must stop them at once! No, no, I'm a serving British officer, Herr Vogel.
I'm afraid I can't obey your commands.
All right, all right, I'm not ordering you.
I'm asking you as a friend.
- Shoot a few Germans? - No, do your own dirty work, Vogel.
But what's the point in having a war if you don't shoot Germans? - That would be collaboration.
- Oh, my God! Bloody rules! I'm sick and tired of them.
Oh, no! I just hit the commandant.
Well, what are you going to do now, Vogel? What can I do? There's only one thing I can do.
I've got to escape.
For Major Phipps, this was the moment.
At last he was free.
Free to complete the largest glider ever assembled inside a prisoner-of-war camp.
Free to complete a network of tunnels so elaborate that they later became part of the Munich underground system.
He built a catapult so powerful it could fling him 200 miles across occupied Europe.
He was about to construct a hot-air balloon using only the little bits you pull off Elastoplast before sticking it on when tragedy struck.
The war was over.
Major Phipps became the only man never to escape from Stalag Luft 1 12 B.
He returned home a broken man and died three months later.
He was buried here in Totnes churchyard.
But his body was found two years later over by the fence.
Major Phipps had made his last and perhaps greatest escape.