Selling the OC (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[pop music playing]
-[woman] How are you today?
-[Lisa] I'm well.
-How are you?
-[woman] Good.
You look so good.
[Lisa] Thank you.
I have a little bit of tanner on my legs.
-I don't want it to go away too much.
-Okay.
[pop music continues]
-Hey.
-[Lisa] Hey, Gio.
-How's it going?
-Good.
Sit. You're gonna get a pedicure.
-No.
-Yes.
I'll have champagne.
-No.
-If I do, Tiff will kill me.
She's been trying to get me to get
a pedicure with her for like five years.
-Then I'll break you in.
-Okay, fine. Just for you, Mama.
-Look at all this dead skin coming off.
-So gross.
Yeah, okay, you're gonna
bring Tiff here for a surprise.
-That's what you're gonna do.
-[scoffs] Perfect. Yeah.
We started house hunting,
and it's just so tough right now.
The market is just bonkers, so
There's nothing, Mom.
And our price point,
you know, is not, like, super high,
-so it really limits our options.
-Okay.
You need to hit the pavement and do
some door knocking on houses she likes,
and start making unsolicited offers.
That's what's going on right now.
My mom is a total boss.
She's been selling real estate here in
Orange County for longer than I can say.
She's taught me everything I know,
and I really wanna live up to her legacy.
Jason's, like, really
turning up the heat in the office.
He wants us to go after the double-digit
million dollar Like, 10 million and up.
-Okay.
-So
I love that Jason's pressuring us to get
into the double-digit million listings.
I know I'm there, and I want more of that.
So, you know, for me I'm just, like,
basking in that, like, sentiment.
Good. He's motivating you.
Yeah, and I think he's indirectly saying,
like, "Gio's there."
"All y'all need to follow his lead." So
I'm struggling a little bit
to find my place there,
and I just don't know whether
it's because they're jealous of me
'cause I have
some experience under my belt.
I kind of got into it with Alex Hall and
-Oh
-So I told her, I said, you know,
"I don't know if that
was intentional or not,
but let's just nip it in the bud
so it doesn't happen again."
What's on my feet?
[woman] Paraffin, it's a hot wax.
It feels amazing. I just, like,
had no idea what the hell it was.
-They're waxing me.
-[laughs]
So I just had a special
congratulatory gift for your big property.
Didn't have to.
-I think it's something you'll really use.
-Thanks.
Go ahead and open it,
and let me know what you think.
Oh, these are cool!
Look at that.
-I love them.
-[Lisa] If they don't fit, let me know.
-Are these for door knocking?
-[laughing] Yeah, right?
-To get those $20 million-plus listings.
-Yeah, extra cushioned. Yeah. Right.
-New shoes for new feet.
-You'll hit the pavement, son.
Those are so cool, Gio.
-Perfect.
-You have always been the coolest cat.
Thanks, Mama.
You are just killing it, but
I just say, speak truth
and be kind.
That's who you are
and that's how you were raised.
I'm seriously convinced that Alex Hall
is threatened by me professionally.
And now personally.
-[whispering] It's hard sometimes.
-[Lisa chuckles]
Gio.
[upbeat music playing]
[Lauren] It's beautiful.
Look at that beautiful ocean view.
Are you kidding me?
-Hi. How are you?
-[Doug] How are you?
-Good to see you.
-Nice to see you.
-[Kayla] Wow, look at this.
-Yeah.
Getting my first listing
means everything to me.
That's me breaking into
the luxury real estate market,
which is why I'm here.
-It's like finding me, I love it. [laughs]
-Right?
We can do, we can do, we can do this ♪
We can do, we can do, we can do it ♪
-Hi.
-You made it.
[Tyler] Welcome to Monarch.
Prepare to be amazed.
[Austin] I have a lot of pressure
on my shoulders right now.
[client] How you doing?
-Austin
-[Austin] Good to see you.
I have to provide for my family,
so I need to step up my game.
-How are you?
-Good.
I just wanna go over a few things,
like when we usually role play.
Pretend I'm the seller.
Hi, Mrs. Seller, so nice to meet you.
The home's been
on the market for six months.
I want to move to Bangladesh
to be with my
[both laugh]
I think it's about getting the right price
and the right marketing.
That's all we say.
We got this.
-[Lauren] Hello.
-Knock, knock. Brandi.
Hi, I'm Lauren. Beautiful home.
[Doug] Four levels.
Three flights of stairs.
Definitely a lot of stairs.
It's the trade-off.
If you want square footage in Laguna
-Yeah.
-you have stairs,
-'cause everything's built on these hills.
-[Kayla] Right.
[Austin] Wow. I love this.
The architecture is
very different and unique.
The people who built this house,
built it based on a ship.
Oh, my gosh! With the mirror,
it's complimenting the ocean.
Exactly.
-[Tyler] And then gigantic walk-in closet.
-Oh!
-[Alex] What is this?
-[Tyler] Big enough for you?
-I love this house! [squeals]
-[Tyler chuckles]
-[Alex] Oh!
-Feels like you're already on the beach.
-The beach I grew up surfing at.
-[Alex] We grew up on the same beach.
-I don't know how our paths never crossed.
-Maybe we did. We just don't remember.
Maybe. This community
is exceptionally small.
That's why I'd want to raise my kids here,
it is that way.
I've been married for two years.
My wife is an actress.
My wife's name is Brittany Snow.
Surfing was my first love.
I started competing
at a professional level until I was 20,
and after that I started
working for the family brokerage.
When I heard
Jason was opening an office here,
it seemed like the right fit,
so I leapt at the opportunity.
Being a young, prideful man,
I kind of want to carve my own path
and build on the things
my dad's taught me.
My dad's a very intense guy.
That's part of why he is so successful,
he's just full steam ahead always.
And I'm a little more
sensitive and emotional.
So sometimes
those personalities can clash,
but I put all this
weird pressure on myself,
and I don't want to fail.
[Alex] I think they'll like it.
Let's get my clients, see what they think.
[Tyler] I love it.
[Gio] So it's really frustrating.
It's the year 2022.
Why does the MLS
log you out after 30 seconds?
-It won't remember it to your computer.
-No.
-That aggravates me.
-My biggest pet peeve of being a realtor.
[Brandi] I tried to wear a yellow dress
and I looked like Big Bird.
[Polly] You're in yellow as well.
Jason, I feel like
we could do with an office pet.
-No, we're not getting
-I would love an office animal.
We should get a parrot.
-[Alex] My gosh.
-Definitely not a parrot.
Parrots will be telling on everyone.
-Ooh!
-[laughs]
You guys are so dumb.
-[Lauren] Brandi?
-Hey.
[Lauren]
What's up with the Lake Forest house?
[Brandi]
She's about to get the update started.
-Okay.
-New flooring, paint.
-Thank God.
-She'll turn it over really quick.
-That's great news.
-Yeah. I know.
Austin, it's the property
your client wrote the offer on.
Okay, yeah. I thought so.
We're giving you first dibs
before it's on the market.
What are you gonna list at?
-She wants 900.
-Still? After doing the work? Oh, my God.
[Austin] We submitted 830.
She should've taken the offer.
She should've taken the money and ran.
She disagrees. What can you say?
I think it was a good deal. I really do.
-Did you get a counteroffer?
-No.
-You didn't get a counteroffer?
-Shut up, Gio. What?
[Brandi laughs]
-You're letting them off way too easy.
-Right?
She wanted to put it on the market
and wasn't interested in an offer now.
I'm gonna be skeptical to write an offer
on one of your two listings. That's all.
Let me know when you go to market.
Jason, I have to ask your opinion
about a listing Lauren and I have.
[sighs]
Austin submitted an offer to us
while it was off-market.
Gio is saying that
we should have persuaded
our client to take Austin's offer
No. I was I was saying that
he should have got a counter, that's all.
Even a full-price counter.
Give him something in writing.
[Brandi] We can't.
What do you want us to do?
Forge her signature?
Part of the job is to control the client.
That requires some persuasion.
We also have a duty to do
what they want at the end of the day.
Our job is to get the deal done.
That's the only
Gio, I know you've put in offers
and don't always get a counter.
You can't force them
I think you guys should have tried
to get a counteroffer from the seller.
But if the seller doesn't want to counter
and wants to go to market,
that's what it is.
Then you just bid on-market.
Oh, fuck.
[tense music playing]
What is it?
[screams]
[Jason] It's the office pet.
-[Alex] What? Is it a cockroach?
-[Jason] Yes.
[Alex] Ew, it's a cockroach.
I think it's a cockroach.
-It's a giant cockroach, this big.
-Oh, my God.
-[Lauren] Let's find it.
-[Polly] You don't know where it went?
It went under the couch,
and it was going super fast.
Is it just gonna live under the couch now?
I can't work here with that thing.
-You scared?
-[Jason] I hate them.
[Austin] We gotta put it on Jason.
-Don't fuck around with that.
-[Polly] Move the couch.
-[Lauren] Don't even
-God, I can't.
-I'm not getting near it.
-[Polly] The middle one. I'm ready.
-[scream]
-[Alex] Oh, my God.
-[Polly] There.
-[Austin] Got it.
-There he is.
-[indistinct]
-Get the fuck out of here.
-Oh, my God! It's huge.
[screaming]
[Alex] Polly, don't touch it!
[screaming]
-[Tyler] Get it!
-[all laugh]
-[Lauren] On it!
-I got it on camera.
[Polly] I've got it!
-[Jason] You got your pet.
-I'm having
[Polly] They're, like, crunchy.
[Alex] I don't do any
-I got my pet.
-Don't get it near me.
[Lauren] Polly, it's not funny.
No, I'll take it out.
Throw it somewhere far.
-[Lauren] Polly!
-[Brandi] I hope it jumps on you.
-I can go back now.
-That's disgusting.
-[Gio] That was the size of a mouse.
-Ugh, I hate bugs.
-Hi, guys.
-[Jason] Hey, Kayla.
-Hello.
-Kayla.
-Hey.
-[Brandi] How are you?
Good.
Did you see the new office pet
that Polly just saved?
[Polly] You missed all the fun.
We found a cockroach.
Ugh!
-Not another one.
-What?
There was one yesterday over there
-Oh, my God.
-and another in the bathroom.
-What? We need to fumigate or whatever.
-Yeah.
So, Alex
Come here.
[Kayla] Sorry, everyone. Uh
I just got back from
a listing appointment at Laguna Beach.
-An expired listing from six months ago.
-Okay.
I saw his house. Beautiful.
-Five bedrooms, 3.5 baths.
-Awesome.
So I'm really excited.
-This is gonna be my first listing, ever.
-I know.
-I've only been a buyer's agent.
-Right, yeah.
You're a listing agent, and I'd love
to bring you on with me if you would.
-On the listing?
-Yes.
For sure. I mean, is it It's a done deal?
-I think he's gonna sign. He hasn't yet.
-Okay.
So have you negotiated any terms?
Like what's?
He's given me a little bit of pushback.
-I didn't want to be too much.
-[Alex] Yeah.
[Kayla] I did run comps.
I just feel like, you know, 3.9.
I won't sell close to 3.9.
Is there a number?
Four point five.
You're set 4.5?
If the market's not ready for that number,
then I don't have to move.
Okay, so you want me to help
close it and get it signed?
-Yeah, I need your help.
-I'd love to help.
-Yay.
-That's a huge listing for you.
Yeah. So it'll be really good.
We'll talk to him about
our standard agreement, and price,
make sure we're on the same page.
-We don't want an overpriced listing.
-For sure.
Kayla and I are gonna take this call.
It might be important.
What's the deal?
-Kayla's got a potential listing in
-How much?
-Between four, 4.5.
-All right.
Nice, Kayla.
-[Alex] Her first. Hopefully we get it.
-[Kayla] Yeah.
-But I like pressure.
-We'll be quiet, listen to the call.
-Oh, yes.
-Yeah.
I work really well
under pressure, so fine.
[Gio] You have an audience.
-All right.
-[Austin] Good luck.
Thanks, Austin.
[Kayla] We gotta make sure we don't say
this is my first listing to Doug.
[Doug] Hey there.
Hey, Doug. It's Kayla. How are you?
Good.
[Kayla]
So I'm sitting here with Alex Hall.
She is an associate of mine at the office,
and I decided to bring her on with me.
Hi, Doug.
Hey there.
Uh yeah, so I think
the couple things we were talking about
was the commission, and then the price.
-Correct.
-Right.
So I know I mentioned to you
the commission was 5.5.
Then the price being, like, 4.5. Correct?
Yes, correct. Yeah, I need to be
right at that 4.5 to make it work.
Okay. So I also mentioned
about our concierge service
where, you know, we would put up the money
up front for staging and all of that,
and then, uh, you know, kind of
You would pay back. But Um
[mouthing] I don't know what to say.
Um
-Doug. It's Alex.
-Yep. I'm here.
-[Kayla] Fuck.
-Here's the deal.
With concierge service, it has to
constitute us getting a higher commission.
Our starting point is usually 5.5%.
It also depends on the listing price.
We don't want an overpriced listing.
I think you're a smart guy,
you know that if we shoot for the stars,
this is the market to do it.
We work for you, we'll guide and consult.
End of the day, you make the decision.
I'd need you guys to pick up any staging.
There's not much to do in the house.
-It's pretty pristine, so
-Is it?
if you guys want the listing,
you guys have to figure that out.
Alex, what's the staging going to cost?
Five thousand? Fine.
[Jason] As long as we can sell it
at a 5.5% commission.
-[Alex] Got it.
-Okay. All right, Doug?
-[Doug] Is it?
-Okay.
The 5.5% at 4.5,
and we'll cover the staging.
We're gonna do it
as long as we can get signatures today.
-Yeah, go ahead. Write it up.
-That sound good? Awesome.
Send me a DocuSign and I'll get to it.
Great. Okay. Awesome.
Thank you so much
for answering the call,
and I'll send it over right now.
-Can't wait, Doug. Thanks.
-Sounds good.
-[Kayla] All right. Bye-bye.
-Thank you, ladies. Bye-bye.
["I Like That"
by J. Pollock and Manwell playing]
-[Jarvis] This is gorgeous.
-It's a big driveway too, for Laguna.
I like what I see already.
-Me too.
-Nice and modern.
I am so excited
about this property on Fontana.
It's by far my favorite home
that I've seen,
so I really hope that the owner,
Vince, likes what he hears,
and will want to list with Jarvis and I.
-Hi, Alexandra.
-How are you?
-Good to see you.
-Good to see you.
-Good to see you again.
-Alexandra two. Come on in.
Yes.
-[Rose] Two for the price of one.
-[Vince] I'll show you around.
The house itself
is about 7,000 square feet,
and there's about another
3,000 square feet of deck space.
There's four bedrooms and seven bathrooms.
-[Rose] Wow, that's a lot of bathrooms.
-Tell my housekeeper that.
-[giggling]
-[doorbell rings]
-[Rose] Must be Jason.
-[Jarvis] Yeah.
-Hey, Jason, welcome. Come in.
-Hey, what's up?
I'm glad that Jason came out,
because it's good for him to see
Alexandra Rose and I bringing in
properties in the double digits,
like he likes.
[Jason] Remodel or brand new?
[Vince] It's a remodel.
-Hey.
-Good to see you.
-Good to see you both.
-Thanks for coming.
[Jason] Nice view too.
Yeah. Isn't it gorgeous?
It's so mesmerizing.
-[Jason] How long did this take?
-A year to get the plans ready.
And a little over three years
to complete the build.
Wait, let me guess what you spent on it.
Three point seven?
Pretty close. I literally spent
100,000 a month for three years.
-That's 3.6. 
-Yeah.
-Wow.
-You did pretty good.
You're 100,000 off. I think you spent
100,000 you don't know about.
[Rose] Let's go downstairs.
Wow. Vince, this is amazing.
-[Rose] My goodness.
-[Jason] Shit, that is cool.
[Rose] This is a work of art.
[Vince] You won't see another pool
40 feet in the air, over living space.
-Structurally, my gosh.
-I've never seen this.
I hesitate to ask, but I'm wondering
what you think the house is worth.
I think it should come in
13 to 14 million,
which would be
around $2,000 a square foot.
There's very low inventory right now
and nothing like this on the market.
No house in Laguna on a cliff
has a pool like this.
There's even an outdoor restroom.
When people are in the pool,
there's a convenient place to go.
I just go in the pool.
So I wouldn't even need that.
-I wasn't gonna go there.
-I do though. I legitimately admit it.
Ew.
No guy gets out of the pool to pee.
It's a fact.
I'm the only guy that admits it,
but every guy does it.
Oh, my.
[Vince] Let's go see the primary.
-Fine.
-Let's go do it.
-I gotta go in the pool real quick.
-[all laugh]
[Vince] Right down here.
-[Jason] Good size.
-[Jarvis] My goodness. Wow.
-[Rose] This is absolutely stunning.
-[Vince] The primary's 1,800 square feet.
[Jarvis] Vince, I'm obsessed
with this soaking tub.
So now that we've seen the whole house,
what do you think
about us listing it for you?
Obviously I've put a lot of money
and poured my heart and soul
into this house
for the past several years.
You know, to make it come out like this.
I think
I have to think long and hard if I'm ready
to pull the trigger and let it go.
What I like about selling now
is it's in pristine condition.
-[Rose] True.
-That's true.
I think we're close to being in agreement
about what a market value
of the property would be.
I still would prefer it
to come on the market at 12 million.
Yeah, we don't ever
want to overprice listings.
We're like that.
A lot of agents say, "The house is worth
15, 16 million," just to get the listing.
We're honest.
We're not in the business of just
getting listings, we want to sell houses.
But at the end of the day, it's your call.
We want to do
whatever you're comfortable with.
We'll be in touch, follow up with you,
and see where your head's at.
Okay, great meeting you.
When I'm ready, I think I could
see myself working with you guys.
-Nice seeing you.
-Good to see you.
-Thanks for showing us around.
-Nice seeing you.
I knew from day one
we would get the listing.
This view never gets old.
Rose and I are the top-producing
female agents in the office.
We make a good impression,
and it's kind of hard for a client
to say no to both of us.
[Jason] I actually like this house
a lot more than I expected.
-Look at the
-Such good quality.
Every detail, even the drain.
He used tile in the drain,
so you don't see it as much.
He did such a nice job.
I think we made a really good impression.
And whether it's now or,
you know, a year, we'll sell it.
I think he is strongly considering us.
I think you can sell this at 12 million.
-Yeah, we do too.
-Yeah.
[Jason] Vince seems like a great client,
so well done.
-You wanted double digits.
-Right.
We're your favorite agents
in the office, right?
Sell this house, then we'll talk.
You're doing well, I'll put it that way.
This is a marathon, not a sprint.
So I'll be judging that down the road.
Okay.
["Boom Bang Boom" by BHAVIOR playing]
[Sean] Has this machine
not been working for you?
-[Alex] I don't know
-It never works.
You want me to help you?
-[Kayla] Works for me.
-Never mind.
-No, I got it now. It just always stalls.
-[Alex] Brandi always has to help me.
My fupa.
-Do you know what a fupa is, Kayla?
-I know what a fupa is.
You want to see mine?
[both laughing]
Anyways. How are you?
-What's going on? Yeah?
-I'm great.
-I went on a date last night with Jeremy.
-[Kayla] Hmm-mm?
-Wait, the guy I met at Gulfstream?
-Yeah.
No! No, not that guy.
-Okay, who is this guy?
-[Alex] Not that guy. Different guy.
This is Jeremy.
Cheers.
Cheers. Did you look in my eyes?
Ugh!
I'm not doing it all.
I have a question for you.
Do you want children?
Why are you getting? What?
Why are you getting wiggly?
-What?
-You're avoiding the question.
No. I have accomplished my dream.
-I'm semi-retired. 
-Yeah.
Money's out of the way.
And now it's like time.
-I went to his house.
-Didn't we go to his house after?
-The hot tub night. Okay.
-Yes. Hot tub night.
-That was fun.
-So fun.
-[Sean] He's cool.
-He's so cool.
-So how did it go?
-We had dinner. It was great. It was fun.
It feel like I've known him forever.
-How'd you meet him?
-I met him online. Yeah.
-Which one?
-Hinge, I think.
Hinge? When I date, I'm like the most
frustrated and the most annoyed,
and I think it's simply because
I just haven't met the perfect, like
This is Jeremy, hold on.
-Hi.
-Put him on speaker.
-I'm in the middle of Hold on.
-Hi, Jeremy.
I'm talking to Kayla and
-What's up, Jeremy?
-Were your ears burning? [giggles]
[Jeremy] Uh, yeah, they're on fire.
What else is burning? [giggles]
My cock.
[gasps] You're on speaker!
-[Kayla] What did he say?
-"My cock."
Oh, God. You're on speaker.
-Didn't I tell you that?
-Well, you should have told me that.
[Alex] I'm so sorry.
-[Sean] Oh, my God.
-[Alex laughs]
[Alex] Um
We're talking about you.
-[Sean] My God.
-And our date last night.
I wanted to answer and say hi.
You shouldn't put me on speaker like that.
Sorry. You shouldn't say
inappropriate things. [chuckles]
[chuckles] I'm sorry again.
-All right
-I'll call you when I leave the office.
-Okay, bye.
-Okay, bye.
[beep]
Poor thing.
-Alex, what do you do to these guys?
-Hey.
-Oh, my God.
-I always say, "You're on speaker."
[chuckling] I would have gotten there
if he would have given me the chance.
-Oh, my God.
-But, yeah. He's so sweet.
-He's sweet.
-Yeah.
-[Alex] We'll see.
-I'm excited for you.
[Alex]
The most attractive thing about Jeremy is
he knows my career is so important to me
and my kids are so important to me,
so he doesn't ever put any pressure on me.
So the ball's definitely in my court,
but I just don't know
if I can handle
any more on my plate right now.
You've got to start dating
so we can double date now that I'm dating.
Well, does he have any friends?
All his friends are married.
Yeah, see, that's so hard.
It's hard at our age, you know.
I barely go out.
I'm hoping he's gonna, like
I'll be on my couch,
he'll walk through the door.
[Alex] I said, why can't I meet
somebody at the store?
-We both reach for broccoli.
-[Sean] Someone hit on you at Whole Foods.
God, that guy was Give me a break.
He didn't even have a cart.
"You're literally here hitting on women."
-[Alex] I'm flattered
-Hilarious.
Everyone talks about
being hit on at Whole Foods.
I've never been hit on at Whole Foods.
He came to me and was like,
"Excuse me." I turned around.
I was like, "Is this happening?
Am I getting hit on at Whole Foods?"
He's like, "What do you mean?"
"Are you hitting on me?"
"I'm trying."
I was like, "This is a thing!"
So maybe go to Whole Foods more.
And you'll get hit on.
In the produce department.
Noted.
One of the biggest reasons why
I've been so, like with relationships
is because even my own father,
he told I will never forget
when he said this to me.
He said, "Kayla, do you know
how many successful women out there
are completely single and happy?"
And he said that in a way that was like
"You should just stay single."
That really stuck with me,
and for many years,
I actually accepted that.
You know, like, "Yeah, you're right."
"It's not meant for everyone,
and that's okay."
And I tried to believe that,
and then, of course,
as the years went by, I realized
-[Alex] I don't want that.
-that's not fair.
I deserve to be in a relationship.
Then by the time that I realized that,
it was like I was
so comfortable with being alone
and by myself,
I was at peace, and I was
I worked on myself,
falling in love with myself
-[Alex] Right.
-It was almost like it was "too late."
Parents don't realize,
and I think about this with my kids,
how much we hold on to what they say,
and how deeply we value
their opinions or their advice.
[Kayla] Yeah.
[voice breaks] When it comes to everything
else in my life, I feel like I'm good,
like, I'm very strong and I have it.
But when it comes to relationships,
it's like that's my weakness,
you know, and I just
That's like I don't talk about it.
Like, you don't see me post about it.
Like, you never will, probably.
So it's just something I know
I need to work on, that part of my life.
["Gravity" by biz colletti
& Hustle Standard playing]
["Happy Hour" by Yacht Money playing]
Don't worry, I got her.
-[Tyler] What's up, fam?
-[Polly] Hi.
We should've driven the boat here
and swam in.
Do you ever pause
and just think, like, "We're so lucky."
[Polly]
I don't think it's ever gonna get old.
It's been like ten years now,
and it's like, "Fuck me."
-"This is where I live."
-Yeah.
Jason's having the office fumigated,
so he is sending us
off to the beach for the day.
He shipped in a load of champagne.
Everybody's letting loose.
We're in the OC. It's like,
is this real life?
["Good Time" by Greg Scott playing]
[laughing]
[laughs]
Everyone look right there
where I'm looking for one second.
That's real life.
[Lauren] I know, right?
-If everyone just shuts up for a second
-[Brandi] Shut the fuck up.
[sighs]
Dolphin!
[Polly] I see them.
They're so beautiful.
-[Brandi] Could be a shark. How you know?
-[Lauren] It's not.
I don't know.
Gio's pretending he's athletic.
That's cute.
[Kayla laughs]
[Alex] They do do it.
They all look pretty fucking good.
I love it.
Hi, guys.
Hey. Here they come, ladies.
Feast your eyes.
[Lauren] Baywatch, slow motion!
Sean looks like a Ninja Turtle
with those abs.
What is happening?
[women squealing and laughing]
-[Rose] Hey. How are you guys?
-Good, how are you?
Hey, baby, how are you?
-Good, you?
-You're late.
-Good to see you.
-[Rose] Hey, Justin, how are you?
Got a bad taste in my mouth.
[Kayla] Holy shit, that smells good.
It's coconut oil tanning lotion.
That SPF is what causes skin cancer.
Well, this is tanning lotion.
Right. Just, you know, it causes
shit to happen that we don't want.
[Austin] All right, kids, no fighting.
I'm gonna get a drink.
Crazy that Rose decided to join us today.
[women shouting indistinctly]
Whoa, shit. [laughs]
-[Kayla] Oh!
-Are you drunk?
Kayla has a tattoo on her ass
of a kissy face, but it's not real.
-It's not real.
-[Polly] What? Her ass isn't real?
Did she just say her ass is not real?
Finally.
[laughs]
[snorts] Oh, Lord.
Who has ever played, Snog, Marry, Avoid?
-What?
-What is that?
-Snog, Marry, Avoid.
-What's "snog"?
Is that like?
-Fuck, Marry, Kill.
-I mean, I guess so.
-I've never played.
-Question!
-[Brandi] You have not?
-Guys in the office.
Fuck, Marry, Kill.
Fuck Austin. Kill Gio. Marry Tyler. Done.
I would fuck Tyler,
I would marry Sean,
and I would kill Gio.
So I would fuck Sean,
marry Tyler, and kill
-Come on.
-I have no idea.
I wouldn't F anybody here.
Just say that.
I wouldn't kill anyone except for Gio.
I'd fuck Tyler, and I'd marry Sean
any day of the week.
I know, you guys are besties.
And I would definitely kill Gio.
-Sister wives.
-Yes.
[Brandi] So wait a minute. So everybody
wants to kill the same person?
Can we be clear, because we haven't
had this conversation all together,
about what happened at Gio's open house?
I wasn't there.
Gio was very demeaning to me
at his broker's open.
He tried to, like,
put his finger in my face and say,
"You've been naughty. I'm reprimanding you
in front of all of your colleagues."
I want to literally bury Gio in the sand.
Let's get him over here. Gio!
[Alex] I'm so over this shit. Gio!
Sit down.
So, this is what
we're all trying to figure out.
When we went to your broker's open,
you were like, "You snubbed my wife."
-That would never be me, ever.
-What was the snub? I'm so confused.
Let's hear. Come on.
Because it was nothing.
Listen, I don't want to be the guy who's
constantly having to defend his wife.
-Your wife?
-[Brandi] Missing the point.
It's not about defending her.
We're trying to figure out the story.
No. What do you mean?
-Did Alex disrespect?
-Let him fucking talk for himself.
My wife felt snubbed by you
at the grand opening party.
And I feel like we resolved that.
-But Tiffany can't talk to me?
-She didn't know how to talk to you.
[Polly] What happened?
She can't handle the office.
Don't bring her if that's the deal.
-That's not a fair sentiment.
-[Alex] I didn't snub your wife.
I'd never intentionally do that.
She was so offended and hurt
only because you and Tiff are actually,
like, friends socially.
-We're not friends, Gio.
-You guys have hung out socially.
She should know me better than
to have snubbed her at a fucking party.
-I don't wanna make a big deal of it.
-'Cause it wasn't a big deal, Gio!
I'm not the one bringing it up.
[Brandi] How do you think
Alex feels when she's?
-I feel ganged up on right now.
-Give me a break. You're the victim. Okay.
-We're not ganging up. 
-It's how it feels.
-[Gio] I'm sitting in this circle
-[Alex] When you pulled me aside, then?
There's no ganging up.
When you pulled me aside
and were like, "Let me blindside you"
Did I say I'm the victim,
I'm ganged up on?
-The difference is that was one on one.
-Want to talk one on one?
-I'd be happy to.
-Happy to. Let's do it.
-Let's fucking go.
-Sure.
-Damn, Alex.
-[Polly] Enjoy that.
Come over here.
[Brandi] She put on her mom voice.
"Let's go. Now."
All I know is, Tiff told me
she was bothered that you ignored her
when she went to give you a big hug.
Clients were there. Jason was there.
Business was happening.
I was a little bit out of it.
That's okay, then just say that.
But then you tell me, "You can't talk
to my wife. Don't call and apologize."
Because I don't feel like
you would do it justice.
-I felt like we had an understanding here.
-We did. But you said not talk to Tiffany.
"Don't call. Don't apologize."
Because she was, like, embarrassed by
the fact that she even had to bring it up.
She won't be embarrassed
you brought it up to me?
She told me not to.
-So why did you?
-I, as her husband
-You and I work together.
-I don't work with her.
No, but you and I work together.
If you offend her, you offend me.
That's how it works when you're married.
She's not a dramatic person.
I just I don't understand
You're dramatic. She's not. I agree.
You are dramatic.
-Fuck that. No, I'm not dramatic.
-You're making this dramatic.
I'm defending
You bombard me here with all these girls
-I'm not bombarding
-Put me on the spot in front of everyone.
You put me on the spot at your open house.
-One on one. That's the difference.
-We're one on one.
Not over there, it wasn't.
Talking out of both sides of your mouth.
If you don't want to talk rationally,
Alex, I'm gonna walk away.
This is rational.
You can't handle the questions,
'cause they don't
make any sense to your answers.
Alex, you can try to steamroll me
all you fucking want.
-I did not try to make
-What does steamroll mean?
You mean I have a brain
and I know the facts?
-Insult me all you want
-I'm not insulting you, Gio.
But you are.
You're insulting my intelligence
Your own story insults you?
How do you think I feel?
I'm insulted. Your story insults me.
-You know what? I think I'm done.
-Convenient.
Whatever you wanna say.
How do you want to end it, Gio?
I want to say, it's been a pleasure,
good luck. I don't know what to say.
Good luck? It's been a pleasure?
Know what?
Play with fire, you'll get burned.
I'm fucking done.
Cheers. Have fun.
Un-fucking-believable.
[Gio] This is exactly why I didn't want
Alex Hall talking to my wife.
She's like an atomic bomb.
She can blow everything out of proportion.
Fucking douchebag.
Gio, man, you gotta chill.
You're getting yourself in trouble now.
Guess what? I don't fucking care.
[sighs]
I just spilled Veuve!
[Brandi]
Gio, I'm gonna save you a little bit.
-I was gonna actually ask Rose something.
-Okay.
You may wonder
why I don't speak to you anymore,
I unfollowed you on Instagram.
Because I felt like you have
this superiority about yourself.
-No. Not at all.
-Do you think we belong here?
-Of course. You are amazing.
-Because we don't feel that.
I don't feel
you think I belong here either.
How can I not? I joined,
you were already working here.
-Don't think we exchanged three sentences.
-I never got a warm welcome.
I came up to you and said congratulations
at Jason's birthday.
That was it. I'm talking about
in the office, once I actually joined.
All I said was that you guys weren't
the girls that were in the L.A. office.
That's all I was saying.
Hey, they're different.
[slurps]
-Polly, on a scale from one to 10
-Sean.
what'll the sunset be? I say 11/10.
It's a seven.
-Okay, what's the bet?
-She likes tea.
-What's the bet?
-We have a skinny dip situation.
-Anything under an 11, you have to.
-Seven out of 10, I've got to skinny dip?
Nine Nine and above.
All right, fine, 11 out of 10.
Eleven out of ten.
-I'm confident.
-Might be a 12.
Polly, what are you getting yourself into?
[inaudible]
-[Polly] You're so cute.
-[Tyler] Preach!
Stop acting like you haven't
You're so warm.
-I'm warm? I'm fucking freezing.
-This side is warm.
Who wants a nosey?
[singing] Who wants a nosey?
Who? Who? Who? ♪
[Sean] Hard no on a nosey.
[Tyler] The best part is that
only half know what a nosey is.
[Alex] Yeah.
[Tyler] Oh, my God!
I was about to say,
are we tongue-kissing on the beach?
-[Alex] Don't blow.
-What's happening right now?
-It's a nosey. It's a nosey.
-[Tyler] It still smells like In-N-Out.
-What is it?
-[laughs]
Ew. [laughs]
That's gross.
I would be so pissed
if someone took my face
and put their whole mouth on my nose,
that's disgusting.
How many other real estate offices
have cuddle puddles on the beach?
[Alex] And noseys.
-Never been in a brokerage like this.
-In-N-Out noseys.
[Tyler] This is one
of the nicest sunsets in a while.
-What?
-Come on.
Everybody, on a scale from one to 10,
what is the sunset so far?
-[Polly] 8.
-[Austin] 10 out of 10.
-It's 11 out of 10.
-Eleven out of 10.
-It's an eight!
-[Tyler] It's an 11.
[Polly] Do you think this is
an 11-out-of-10 sunset?
I want to say nine.
Y'all just want to see me naked.
This is bullshit.
-I don't care.
-Kayla wants to see you naked.
Yeah, she
-What do you think of the sunset?
-She does want to see me naked.
[Sean] Thirteen out of ten.
-I need to put my vote in.
-Yeah.
Fifteen out of 10.
Oh, Polly. You lost.
You want me to go for you?
-I'll do it with you.
-No.
-I'll go for you.
-[Polly] No, that's not the bet.
-Do it. We took a vote, Polly.
-Fine.
Take it off, bitch. Take it off.
-[Polly] Piss all.
-[indistinct]
[cheering]
[laughing and cheering]
-God.
-[Polly] Flaunt it!
Do it!
[all] Hey, hey! [scream]
[all screaming]
[cheering]
Honestly, I love Polly. She's the best.
[Sean] Thattagirl.
Oh, my God! Yes!
[cheering]
[Brandi] I cannot. I literally cannot.
[all laugh]
[closing theme music playing]