So Help Me Todd (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

Previously on So Help Me Todd
I am a private detective.
- You were.
- I lost my job.
Two years ago.
My mother, Margaret Wright, works here,
and I work for her.
Yep, it's true. I work for my mother.
- Susan.
- I haven't seen you since we
- We?
- Since you
- Well, it ended.
- I think Harry has left me.
How are you doing with everything?
I just want to move past it.
Oh, hey, look who's here.
Oh. Hey.
Feels like old times, huh?
Elliot drops off the
map for a few years,
and then boom, Saturday party.
It's like being back
in college again, right?
Did you read the Evite?
Wait, is this a birthday party?
Why do you have a gift?
Did I read the Evite?
- What is that?
- A bottle warmer.
A bottle warmer? To warm what?
Milk.
Hi!
Oh, my God,
- you are so pregnant.
- What?!
What the hell? Hi.
- Hey, man.
- Hey.
Thank you so much for
coming. Please come in.
- I can't wait.
- I have so much to tell you.
Bro, you guys back
together, you and Suze?
No.
Peter's so sorry he couldn't make it.
He had to work this weekend.
Yeah. So he can pay off this rock.
Look at it. It's gorgeous.
I hope you insured it.
Our policy guy is great if you need one.
Recommended by our home lender.
Did you two refinance that
renovation of your bonus room
after you waterproofed the basement?
No, we decided to just
expand the mudroom.
Todd? Hmm?
What have you been up to?
Well, uh, let's see.
Don't have a mudroom,
don't have a basement,
not engaged, not expecting.
But I am working as a
private investigator again.
We're both working with Todd's mom.
Oh
Well, it's much cooler than it sounds.
She's a lawyer. A lot of murder.
You know, knives.
Well, I think that's great. You know,
pulling yourself up by
your mom's boot straps
and, you know, finally
digging into adulthood.
Speaking of which, how's
everyone's stock portfolios doing?
- Oh, it's a nightmare.
- Oh, my God
The place is looking great, Mom.
Oh, well, the paint
needs some touch-ups,
and not all of my art
works, but it's coming along.
Thank you so much for
these beautiful flowers.
- Of course.
- I'm so glad you stopped using
that florist in Northwest.
Oh, I found something
for you before I forget.
I found it in one of the boxes.
Are you going to this benefit?
No, I completely forgot.
We bought those tickets ages ago.
Didn't you and Harry used to
go to this thing every year?
We did.
But now I'm not.
You haven't told
anybody yet, about Harry.
What would I tell them?
That he's in Iceland,
naked and fishing under the stars
No. I don't want to
deal with that. Not yet.
No one needs to know.
But eventually you're
gonna have to tell people.
Why don't you come with me? As a
buffer, so no one asks questions.
No, Chuck and I have a wedding to go to.
I'm sure Lawrence is busy, but
you could probably take Todd.
To the Symphony Benefit Gala?
He doesn't even own a tux.
Okay. Or you could go by yourself.
But you love this
event. You can't not go.
I am not showing up anywhere alone.
Okay.
Brian?
Dude.
Oh, wow.
Todd frickin' Wright.
Good to see you, man.
What is this, the grade
school section of the party?
The way, way, way back area?
Yeah, is everyone aware that you lost
fourth grade class president to, uh, me?
Oh, I believe you
stepped down as president
'cause you couldn't stop throwing up.
Ah, the pressure, man, the pressure.
- How you doing?
- I'm good, I'm good.
Just looking for where
all the unmarried losers
are supposed to hang here.
Yeah, what is up with this party?
- Everyone's pants are so, uh, pressed.
- Yeah.
All people want to talk about
is their mortgages and kids.
I'm like, um, "I live with my uncle."
- Oh, I live in my sister's garage.
- Oh, dude, don't even.
I'm still driving that
busted 2002 Ford Focus.
I was driving my mom's 2001
Acura till it broke down.
Okay, wow, yeah. So you win.
- Or lose. Loser.
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
So, uh, how have you been?
Uh, you know, the past few
years have been kinda rough.
You and me both.
I was just starting to
turn stuff around and,
it's so stupid, I
totally screwed it all up.
I-I went out for
drinks on my birthday
Oh, thanks for inviting me.
You are so welcome.
And, uh, I was pretty lit,
so I was walking home
instead of driving,
and I took a break and
passed out on a bench
and got arrested for trespassing.
Yup. And now I may be
going to prison, so
- What?!
- Yeah.
- For sleeping on a bench?
- Yeah.
I was on the grounds of
some fancy private school,
and I already got a
few dumb arrests, so
Whatever, you know. It's okay.
And my public defender, who is, uh
Her name is "Misty."
- Uh-huh.
- She said, "Oh, you could do
a year on the inside. You'll
be out in nine months."
So, yeah, thanks. Cheers.
Brian, you gotta fight this.
You can't just give up.
You need a-a new plan.
A second chance. Look, I was just
Eh, I think I'm all out
of second chances, man.
No. No.
What you need is a really good lawyer.
These budget items came to my attention
- through accounting
- Mom? Mom? Hey.
Mom? Oh.
Hello.
Would you like me to stop?
No. Continue.
"Line items expensed to
Investigations Department
by new employee Todd Wright:
bus pass, three pairs of shoes,
online subscription to
Investigators International,
Scotland Yard board game,
Twin Peaks 4K Blu Ray set,
commemorative Harriet the
Spy porcelain figurine "
- That's enough. Charges denied.
- What?!
All of that stuff is work-related,
or work-adjacent.
Two jars peanut butter,
three jars jelly.
I don't get to eat?
Not on the company dime.
Thank you very much, Lyle. Good job.
Thank you very much, Mr. Mall Cop.
Really appreciate
everything you're doing.
Okay, fine.
Whatever. Mom, listen.
Do you remember Brian McAtee?
- Your friend from grade school?
- Uh-huh.
Of course I remember him.
He was a little hoodlum.
No, he wasn't. And no one
says "hoodlum" anymore.
People still say it. I just said it.
Okay, well, that doesn't count.
Okay, he was a juvenile delinquent.
He spent time in juvenile detention.
He was a juvenile
Look, that's all a thing of the past.
What he really needs right now
is an incredible
lawyer to get him out of
some dumb trespassing charge.
- Absolutely not.
- Okay, you're open to it.
I like that. I mean, yes,
Brian has made some mistakes,
and he might have a little
bit of a rap sheet
A little bit of a rap sheet?
But all harmless misdemeanors.
Public urination, jaywalking,
cashing a few bad checks, whatever.
But he's finally getting
his life back on track.
He's trying so hard, Mom.
Todd, he stole $30 from
my purse when he was ten.
Oh, come on, we all stole $30
from your purse when we were ten.
Look, Brian never knew his mom,
- his dad was never around.
- Because he was in prison.
And he was raised by his uncle.
- Can't you just have a he
- Todd! I am very busy,
and I am not going to
waste my valuable time
on a certified lifelong criminal
who's only going to end up
right back in trouble the
minute I clear his name.
Do you know what recidivism is?
No, I don't know what recidivism is.
God, you're so judgmental.
I'm not judgmental, I'm a realist.
I tiger can't change its stripes.
I hate zoo metaphors.
People don't change.
Isn't one of the law
commandments to have an open mind,
or give people the benefit of the doubt,
or not harm a human being?
That is a law for robots.
Well, it must be nice to be perfect.
To have no flaws.
Oh, it's exhausting.
You're very judgmental.
Goodbye. Go away.
Margaret! It is so good to see you.
Erica, Desiree.
What a wonderful surprise.
Where have you been?
Oh, we haven't seen
you or Harry in so long.
And you missed Eve
Miller's birthday brunch.
Well, we've been so busy.
We moved, and it just feels like
I haven't been able to
see anybody these days.
Tom said Harry hasn't returned
any of his calls or emails.
And Drake says he's
missed two golf games.
Is everything all right?
Oh, yes, it's fine.
I can't imagine why he would
have been so inconsiderate.
- So you two will be at the Symphony Benefit on Saturday?
- Of course.
Do you know who else will be there?
Sondra Brayton.
She just got out of rehab, again.
That poor woman,
she just cannot pull herself together.
Oh, they always backslide.
Shopaholics, alcoholics, hoarders.
Even divorced people.
They get divorced again.
Well, Erica, that's
very judgmental.
Once a mess, always a mess.
Oh, well, I have got to go.
We will see you Saturday night, right?
Of course.
This is so amazing that you're
doing this. Thank you so much.
What changed your mind?
Oh, well, maybe I was a
little judgmental about Brian.
Thank you so much for
helping me out, Mrs. Wright.
I always thought you were awesome.
Oh, well, thank you.
Uh, uh, Todd, give me your tie.
Yeah. Gladly. Sure.
- Okay, here, let me
- I got it. It's fine.
Ow. Don't touch me.
I used to change your diapers.
Yeah. Not in public.
Okay, there you go.
Wow, that tie's perfect for you.
You know, she got it
at Berg-Dork Goodman.
Here, you do it.
- Excuse me, sir, is that your son?
- Yes.
Well, he needs to turn that off in here.
He will. Sorry. Single dad.
Way too much screen time.
Danny, that's enough.
You know how it is.
You're Todd's mom. I'm
Brian's uncle, Johnny.
And this is my son Danny.
You have no idea how much we
all appreciate you doing this.
It's my pleasure.
I've been raising Brian since he was 12.
Took him in when I was
barely an adult myself.
Seeing him here in court,
your kid in trouble
with the law, it's rough.
We'll get through it, he'll be okay.
You'll be okay, too.
It's a constant struggle keeping
'em on the right path, isn't it?
- This is good.
- Yeah, feels good.
Ah, Trevor.
- Margaret.
- Afternoon.
- Looks like a busy day for you.
- Yeah.
Trevor, we both know you
have bigger fish to fry,
so let's not make a
meal out of my client's
ridiculous misdemeanor charge.
Aren't you and Amelia
going to Hawaii next week?
So let's cut to the chase so we
don't interrupt that vacation.
Brian McAtee will pay the fine
and 500 hours of community service,
and I guarantee you,
you will never see
his face in here again.
Great. Thank you.
Honestly, it's a trespassing charge.
It's not like he's gonna
run out and rob a bank.
Ah.
It's done.
- We're done?
- Yes! Yes!
Amazing. Thank you.
Oh, my gosh.
See? Told you she could fix this.
In breaking news tonight,
earlier this evening,
a burglary at Triple A Pawnbrokers,
interrupting a 104-day crime-free
streak in North Portland.
Local man Brian McAtee
has been identified
as the suspect, and is being arrested
here at his uncle's home.
I-I didn't do it!
And my lawyer Margaret Wright
will prove my innocence.
I didn't do it!
All right, Brian, tell me what happened.
I was asleep, and the cops
busted in and arrested me.
- Uh-huh.
- It's insane. I didn't even know
why they were arresting
me. I-I didn't rob anybody.
Well, it says here that $5,000 in cash,
some jewelry and various
other items were stolen.
Where were you last night?
I was at home babysitting
my cousin Danny.
All night.
Three different security
cameras captured your car
within blocks of Triple A
Pawnbrokers at around 11:00 p.m.
No, that's impossible. I
never even left the house.
I I drank a few beers
while watching the
Trailblazers game, and then
passed out on the couch
after the third quarter.
Well, that is the same
excuse that you used
for your trespassing charges.
You got drunk and passed out.
And you were supposed to
be babysitting at the time?
Okay, so I got a few
things I gotta work on.
You're lucky your uncle posted bail.
I hope you appreciate
all he's done for you.
I know. I know.
I have to prepare for your arraignment.
I will see you at the
courthouse later today.
Be on time.
I'm screwed.
Stupid idiot.
He robbed a pawn shop,
Todd. A pawn shop.
And he announced to all of
Portland that I am his lawyer.
But you are his lawyer,
and you can clear his name, right?
He's guilty. And I don't
have time for this case.
No, he's innocent.
And this is important.
He's a criminal, his car
was there, he has a record.
- He did it.
- No. It looks bad, I know.
But in my gut I know he didn't do it.
I believe in him.
He's right in the middle of
trying to turn his life around.
Why would he screw everything up
by robbing some stupid pawn shop?
Gee, you tell me, Todd.
Why would someone screw
up their entire life
by doing something illegal?
But I bounced back.
- Mm.
- With your help.
Right? And look at me now,
a productive member of
society putting on my pants
and going to work every day.
If putting on your pants is the bar,
then I have failed as a mother.
No, do not come in here!
This door is closed to you.
I need to go waste some
more of my billable hours
doing the job of a public defender.
Well, thank you, greedy lady lawyer,
for deigning to help my peasant friend
with his expensive legal woes.
- I don't want to hear it.
- You know what, I'm gonna go over
to that pawn shop and figure
out who really did this.
You are pouring your time
and mine down the toilet.
Maybe Brian has a
lookalike or a car-a-like.
Or maybe the pawn shop
owner robbed himself.
Oh, my God, you're right.
Maybe he did. It could
be insurance fraud.
- I know fraud.
- Yes, you do.
That pawn shop is a crime
scene for the next 48 hours,
and no one is going to
speak to you or let you in.
Oh, won't they?
Pawnbrokers. Here we go.
Wait, I'm not
Are you sure your mom okayed
this? I'm not sure I
It's fine. Just do what we said.
Here, hold my arm.
No, no, no. Sorry, we're closed.
We got robbed, and, uh,
the police are still doing their thing,
and on top of everything,
my heat isn't working.
- It's freezing in here.
- My God, that's awful.
But we really need to get a
price on this ring right away.
We just got married in Venice.
Venice, city of water
and love. How wonderful.
But now we need the money
for the lifesaving surgery
on his brain.
Oh, you poor, beautiful, sweet kids.
Mm-hmm.
All right, all right. Give me a second.
Give me a second.
So robbed, huh? Robbed.
Did they break a window
to get in here or
Nah, no sign of forced entry.
But the front door was wide open,
so they must have picked the lock.
- Uh-huh.
- And they somehow turned the power off,
which knocks out the security cameras.
That was money well spent.
You don't have a generator?
It's busted.
Just like my last marriage.
But you two give me
hope. Okay, let's see.
Oh, hey, lovely cut.
Clarity, color
But at least you didn't get wiped out.
I mean, your insurance should pay for
- all the stolen property, right?
- What insurance?
I got rid of it when I got the cameras.
Then they go out, can't win.
I can offer you maybe
$6,500 for the ring.
Oh, wow. Okay. Not bad.
How much money did we spend
again for the ring, sweetheart?
$117,000.
- What?!
- Didn't you buy this?
No. Oh, yes. No. Family heirloom.
My grandmother was a surgeon.
She found it inside somebody dead.
Wait, I have to ask.
Your only security was the cameras?
Does that seem prudent? What
with all of your inventory
displayed like this in
easily accessible glass cases?
I don't know prudent. We
had a security guard, too,
but he was useless.
I let him go a few months ago.
And has someone followed up with him
- as a potential suspect?
- Yes.
I gave them his name.
As a matter of fact, I
thought that disgruntled jerk
might have been behind all of this
until the police, you
know, nabbed the real guy.
Uh-huh. Wait, the security guard.
I think I know him.
- Uh, Kinky Beaderman?
- Kinky what?
Kinky Beaderman.
- No.
- No?
Grady Tibbels.
Grady Tibbels, of course.
Anyway, good luck on your surgery.
You two make a beautiful couple.
You're gonna be fine, huh?
He understands me, right?
Oh, uh, wait. Um, so, the ring.
What are we doing? Do
you want the money, or
Oh, thank you so much for the estimate,
- but I think we're gonna hold out for a better offer.
- Mm-hmm.
- Let's go.
- Okay.
Your mom did not approve of this.
Yeah, but I approved of it,
and she can deal with it.
And "Kinky Beaderman"?
That's the name you came up with?
That name always works.
Not guilty.
Your Honor, given the
defendant's criminal record,
the state asks that you revoke bail
and place him back into custody
until his preliminary hearing.
Your Honor, this charge
is not a violent felony.
Might I remind you that Mr. McAtee
was just here being arraigned
on a different charge?
That has nothing to do
with today's arraignment.
Exactly. Today's arraignment.
Yesterday was a misdemeanor charge,
today a felony.
What new charge can we
look forward to tomorrow?
All right, Mr. McAtee
will wear an ankle monitor,
and cannot travel outside of the county.
- What? For real?
- The court will set a date
for his preliminary hearing.
"It's not like he's gonna
run out and rob a bank."
Go ahead.
What happens now?
Uh, I suggest we consider a plea deal.
But he just pled not guilty.
He's facing ten years in
prison, a $250,000 fine.
He has no sound alibi, he
has an extensive rap sheet.
Yeah, I feared this day would come.
His dad is a lowlife.
I wasn't around enough.
I was working too hard trying
to keep these kids alive.
This is all my fault.
I understand how you feel,
but you can't blame yourself.
Parenting is hard, and
if you're doing it alone,
- it's impossible.
- You think he did it.
I don't know.
But with a plea deal,
we might be able to
get a reduced sentence.
It's all my fault, damn it.
How long before this one's behind bars?
Danny, come on.
Let's go.
Brand-new 80-inch 4K TV, huh?
Where'd we get the money
for that, Mr. Grady Tibbels?
What the hell are you doing here?
Tell me why you're
creeping around my house
or I'm gonna blow your
frickin' brains out!
Hey, hey, hey. There's no
need to threaten the guy
who's here to save you money on
your heating and cooling bills.
You know, I noticed
that your windows are
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Your name is Grady Tibbels,
and at least ten people know I'm here.
And scrubbing my brain matter
off all this brick would
be extremely difficult.
- How do you know my name?
- I'm a private investigator.
Wow, I haven't been able
to say that legitimately
for a long time. Please don't kill me.
Is this about my ex-girlfriend?
The paternity test?
Or my ex-wife? Her paternity test?
Is this about maybe the money I borrowed
from that loan shark,
or the boat that I stole?
No, to all of that.
Wait, you stole a boat?
Then why are you here?!
Triple A Pawnbrokers
was robbed last night,
and I was wondering if you
That dump?
Too bad. I was parked at a poker table
at Spirit Mountain
Casino the whole night.
Cameras everywhere.
Did you try the cameras
at the pawn shop?
The thief turned off the
power and killed them.
Not all of 'em.
What does that mean?
I'm not a snitch.
Okay, but I am,
and I have a few friends
who are process servers
who would love to know where to find you
and this little boat you stole.
The owner of the place
next to the pawn shop,
he's a real weirdo.
He's into feet. Like, human feet.
Okay.
So he rigged up this hidden
camera next to the sidewalk.
It's battery operated.
Uh-huh.
Maybe it caught something.
Were you able to get
anything out of that camera?
Oh, you did it. Oh, is this
Oh. Oh!
What the hell are you working on?
It's, uh, the
Does she does that
person know about the camera?
Yes. They've been back and forth
in front of that place 20 times
- in 20 different pairs of freak shoes.
- Huh.
I don't have time for this.
I'm working on the Collins
murder/suicide trial.
Oh, you're so lucky.
Where in Sam Hill did you find this?
On the sidewalk near the pawn shop.
It's a long story.
Can't we just fast-forward to nighttime?
Just zip ahead?
Be my guest.
Thanks a lot for turning my expense
report in to my mom, by the way.
I can't believe you did that.
I can't believe you spent $370
on a porcelain figurine
of Harriet the Spy.
It's the 60th anniversary!
She's got her little
spy notebook, and
I mean, it's very cool.
Very delicate and broke way
too easily, but very cool.
Wait, wait. Okay.
Here we go.
No way.
So we need to go up to the house
and see if Johnny or Brian are home.
And they were his feet?
- Mm-hmm.
- You're sure of it?
- Johnny's feet in his boots?
- Yes. Yes. Yes.
I saw Johnny wearing these
exact boots with the same orange
sticker or price tag or whatever
in the courtroom. It was him.
A sticker on a boot is
not enough evidence for me
to go charging into someone's
home and accuse them of a crime.
Okay. Well, Johnny has
access to Brian's car.
And late that night,
his boots walked right up
into the pawn shop and
straight in the front door.
So he has a key? He unlocked it?
The owner said the lock
was picked, so either that,
or he dropped down the
chimney like Santa Claus.
But these are Johnny's boots, he did it,
and Brian is innocent.
Oh, wonderful.
Now what?
Come on.
Officers, what what is going on here?
I am the attorney representing
this child's cousin, Brian McAtee.
Your client cut off his
ankle bracelet and fled.
No, no, no, no, that can't be right.
He fled?
Are-are you sure?
Gotcha!
Dude! In your face! Kill shot!
Who is he talking to?
The person he's playing
the video game with.
- Get him!
- Through the headset?
He's playing someone online, Mom.
- Yes!
- Oh.
Danny?
Do you remember us from the courthouse?
Do you know where Brian is?
Hello, I'm Alice Garrison.
Johnny asked me to watch Danny tonight.
He wasn't comfortable
leaving him alone with Brian
after, you know,
everything that's happened.
We've got patrols looking out for Brian.
- He won't get far.
- And in my experience,
when they run, they're guilty.
Ma'am, can we ask you
a few more questions?
Danny?
Do you have any idea
where your father is?
Want some?
Oh, uh, no, no. No, thank you.
This suit is very
clean, and those are very
unhealthy and bad for you.
Are you sure you don't
know where your dad is?
He's here.
Huh.
Todd, I need you to call this numb
Todd?
Todd?
Where are you going?
I need to find Brian to
convince him to turn himself in.
Maybe he's at the bus
station or the airport,
or I don't know
sleeping on a bench somewhere.
- The police will find him.
- No, no, no.
I'm gonna find him first.
He's probably just drunk,
and stupidly hiding out
in some bar somewhere.
A tiger's spots don't change, right?
- Or whatever that saying is.
- Todd,
as much as we might want to,
we can't always save our
clients from themselves.
So, I should just give up on him?
A lawyer doesn't give
up on their clients.
They build the best defense they can,
even when they disappoint us.
Now come on.
We need to go talk to
Johnny about his boots.
I mean, whatever, the
boots. Brian took off.
He cut his ankle monitor and ran.
Does that sound like an
innocent person to you?
Todd, you asked me to
take this case, and I did.
And I am going to see it through.
Johnny and Danny deserve that.
But Brian doesn't?
I'm gonna find him.
Or at least I'm gonna look.
So, uh, Johnny, you're a male entert
Uh, you're an adult
Uh you're a stripper.
Just at night.
- Oh.
- One paycheck ain't cutting it anymore.
Not with two mouths to feed.
And-and this was your only option?
Don't judge. It's legal,
and the good Lord blessed me
with a little bit of
rhythm and a cute ass.
- Oh.
- I'll do whatever I need to
to take care of my family.
I understand completely,
and I'm not judging.
I mean, maybe if I'd had the body,
I would have done the same
thing when my first husband died.
You're a widow.
How long?
I was a widow for, um, 15 years.
Eight. It's weird, isn't it?
Raising kids by yourself
when you thought you'd be
doing it together forever?
Yes. I-I never imagined I'd be
having that conversation here,
but, um, yes, it is weird.
Um, aren't you cold?
Hell no! I'm burning up!
Dancing's a great workout.
And you were here the night
of the robbery with your boots?
Yup. And a number of my regular
clients could confirm that.
But Brian has those same boots.
I bought two pairs. Sale at Walmart.
I don't know how to tell you this,
but we were over at your
house earlier Todd and I
and-and the cops were there,
and they were looking for Brian.
He's cut off his ankle
bracelet and fled.
- What?! Cops?!
- Yes.
- Where's Danny?
- Well, he's
Well, he's fine. Please.
No! Sit
back down, please.
Um, Mrs. Garrison is still watching him.
I can't believe Brian would
do something so stupid!
Damn it. I love him
as if he's my own son,
but he just keeps breaking my heart.
He needs to turn himself in,
or he's going to end up in
prison, just like his father.
His father isn't in prison.
Not anymore.
Ray got out about a year ago.
He did? Does Brian know that?
I didn't tell him.
His dad is bad news.
What was his father in prison for?
Burglary. Like father, like son, huh?
Ray worked as a heat and
air conditioning repairman,
and he robbed a bunch of his clients.
Ah. And he lives in Portland?
Lives in Salem. Fat Bass Trailer Park.
Court notified me when he got out.
There may still be hope for Brian.
Thank you very much.
Okay.
I'm I'm so sorry.
Well, hello there.
Ray McAtee? I'm here
about your son, Brian.
Do you have a moment?
Sure. Sure, come on in.
Get you a beer.
Well, um, I'm sorry to disturb you,
but, uh, I'm-I'm a friend
of your son, Brian's, and
I was just wondering
if-if you've spoken to him
since you were released from prison?
I'm sorry to say I haven't.
Ah.
Why, thank you.
No, not since, uh, he
was growing his first
chest hair and my jerk brother,
Johnny, stole him from me.
And-and how did he do that?
He called social services,
said I was an unfit parent.
Unfit, my ass.
Now that you are a free man,
how is it that you support yourself?
I do what I can to scrape by.
Once I get my HVAC business going again,
I'll be stacking the cash.
You had your own business?
Yeah, before I got locked up,
I used to fix HVAC systems.
I was damn good at it, too.
Look, I'm just saying, people
are gossiping about Mom.
- Oh, no! Gossip!
- Shut up.
And Chuck's mom just
heard some crazy thing
about Harry being in a cult.
And it wouldn't kill you to take Mom
to some symphony benefit
nonsense gala thing that she loves
so she doesn't have
to go alone or miss it.
Um, no. No thanks. I'd rather
eat glass, thank you very much.
Really? You'd rather eat glass?
- That's a little over-dramatic.
- Really?
I think, if anything,
it's under-dramatic.
Allison and I went to the
Philip Glass Symphony once.
Lawrence and I wanted
to go. Did you enjoy it?
- Not really.
- I don't care about supporting the symphony.
But you're not going
to support the symphony.
You're going to support Mom.
I've had a really bad day,
week, and two-year stretch, so, no,
I'm not going with Mom to face
off with her mortal frenemies
in ball gowns while she lies
about her whole life being so wonderful.
Wow. Sounds like you really did
have a bad day. What happened?
Don't encourage him.
Why, thank you for asking, Chuck.
I'm sure Allison remembers Brian McAtee?
Yeah, he used to come into
the mini mart where I worked
in high school and
shoplift beer for his dad.
And you let him do that?
Yeah, I'm the bad guy
in this story, babe.
What about him?
Oh, he's just missing, on the run,
wanted by the police, and most likely,
guilty and going to jail forever.
And I've been looking for him
everywhere, and cannot find him.
So it's been super, super
fun. It's like a really great,
awful weight on my shoulders
that I'll never be free of.
Hooray! Can I have the meat, please?
I don't want to talk about this anymore.
Todd? Todd, where are you?
Ugh. I have been looking
everywhere for you.
- He's been right here at dinner where you
- I have left messages on your voice machine.
- were supposed to be an hour ago.
- I Look, I don't want to hear it, okay?
- You were right about Brian, all right?
- I know, but Todd,
- I have to tell you something.
- He's a big old loser.
He'll never have a house,
- he'll never have a normal life.
- But Todd
He'll never have a mudroom, or
a job that pays him six figures,
- he'll never have a tie that you approve of.
- Could you please stop talking for five seconds,
- so I can No, Todd! No.
- He's guilty, okay?
Brian is innocent.
Okay, so what are we doing
here, and what the hell is this?
It's an HVAC, or an H-WHACK,
or I don't know. I don't know.
Uh, it's the heating
and the air conditioning.
And-and Brian's father told me
that he used to repair these.
So, I looked up his record, and
turns out that he burglarized
a bunch of businesses that he serviced.
Okay. Did he work on this, here?
I have no idea, but my gut tells me
that he broke into this building,
and this air thing
helped him somehow.
Huh. The pawn shop guy did
say his heating wasn't working.
Yes. Good. Okay.
Great. Get on up there!
Get on up there?
You shimmy up the side.
What? What am I, The Human Snake?
Todd, he might have broken in
through that vent right there.
- So, go!
- All right. Uh, okay, look.
- Look, I'm gonna Hang on.
- Yes. Oh.
Good. Yes. Ladder. Smart.
- Okay.
- What? Oh, Todd, that's
You just stand there and do
nothing. I'll do everything.
No, no, I'll help. Just
up here. Yes, up here.
Just please help. I
- Oh, good. That way.
- That's a real team effort. Thanks, Mom.
- Appreciate it.
- Now be careful you don't get a splinter, sweetheart.
- I got it.
- Yeah. That's it. Perfect.
Good. Higher. Higher.
- All right.
- Yes. And now faster, faster.
Hurry up. Go, go, go, go.
And, uh, be careful.
Don't break your neck.
Well, which is it? Go faster,
or don't break my neck?
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Can you hold this, please?
- Steady me?
- Okay. Go ahead.
Okay.
Good.
Nope.
No way any adult human
could fit in here.
It's-it's a small hole.
Okay, well, now take
that cover thing off
and reach around inside.
Okay.
Good.
Stick your head in.
Stick my head in?
Uh-huh.
Squeeze on in there!
It's too small!
I'm telling you,
there's nothing in here.
Do I have to do everything myself?
- The one little thing that I asked you to do.
- No, no, no, no, no. What are you doing?!
- I asked you to get in there.
- Do not climb up.
- That's what I asked you to do, is get in there.
- This is not meant for two people.
And look inside and look for evidence.
That's what I'm asking you to do.
- At least take my hand, please.
- Okay.
- Hold me. Hold me. Okay.
- I got you. I got you. Look.
- Okay.
- See for yourself.
See? Nothing in there. What?
What is on your hand?
I don't know. Toxic vent dust,
- orange asbestos.
- Taste it.
- What?
- Taste it.
No. Ew! It's
cheesy.
- Danny.
- Danny?
Like Santa down the chimney.
So, let's talk about that night
that you went for a ride with Uncle Ray.
You mean in Brian's car?
Yes, sweetheart.
In Brian's car. Where did you go?
If I tell you, Uncle Ray won't
play games with me anymore,
and I like playing with him.
You play games with
your Uncle Ray online?
It's okay.
Answer the question, Danny.
We went to help Uncle Ray's friend.
What kind of help did he need?
- He locked himself out of his store.
- Mm-hmm.
So me and Uncle Ray
needed to get in the shop
through the secret door
and bring him stuff.
What, uh what kind of stuff?
Money and coins, jewelry.
As much as we could
carry without dropping.
And where was that secret door
that led you down into the shop?
In the back.
It's small,
but I went through the hole
just like Uncle Ray taught me.
It was pretty fun, I guess.
Is this because Uncle
Ray stole Brian's shoes?
I told him he had to put them back.
I'm sorry.
Hey, it's okay, son.
It's okay. Come here.
You didn't do anything wrong.
We have to find Brian.
Did you call his new number?
No.
Well, what else was I gonna do?
Not run. I was afraid you were
drunk somewhere in a ditch.
Just I didn't see a way out.
It's it's like I couldn't
handle the stress, man.
Yeah, you definitely need
some better coping skills.
And you got to stay out of trouble.
My mom's not always gonna
be around to bail you out
and give you my ties.
I'm gonna get my act together.
- For real this time.
- Yeah.
Gonna stop drinking. I don't know.
AA, group therapy.
Maybe some Anthony Robbins-like badge
of personal achievement kind of deal.
Whatever works.
Hey, do you think I could keep the tie?
Considering the recent developments,
there's no reason to pursue
this matter any further.
This case, along with the violation
of the terms of the ankle monitor,
is dismissed.
Thank you so much, Mrs. Wright.
How am I ever gonna repay you?
Well, you could start
with no more trespassing.
Gotcha.
Be grateful for your uncle.
On it.
And Brian, I am so sorry
I didn't believe in you.
- Oh.
- Oh, hey.
- Hey. Hi.
- Hi.
Your mom just texted
me. Brian's off the hook?
Yes! Redeemed in the
eyes of society. For now.
He'll be okay. For now.
I can't believe his
own father was trying
to frame him for a crime.
Yeah, well, this is
why parenting is tricky,
and why people shouldn't
have any more babies.
- No more babies.
- No! No more babies.
Not for a while, no.
I mean, why would you want to bring
a baby into the world right now?
You're not having a baby, are you?
It's actually illegal for
you to be asking me that.
- Oh.
- But no, not yet.
We are having a baby in November.
- Huh?
- Of 2025.
In three years.
Oh. So, you have a plan,
like, a family plan?
Yup, we have a plan.
- We?
- Yeah.
I mean, without a plan, how
are we gonna frame this baby
for a pawn shop heist?
Right, well, try to pull that off
while it's still small enough
to crawl through a heating duct.
I think they stay small for a while.
- Uh, anyway, gotta go.
- Sure.
But, uh, congrats to "redeemed
in the eyes of society" Brian.
Yeah.
You not so much.
Thanks. Thank you. Thanks a lot.
Wow. You look great, Mom.
Thanks. And Chuck's tux
almost fits you perfectly.
Hmm.
Are these for me? These flowers
that my neighbor, Mrs. Jackson,
threw in the trash last night?
Well, they're still alive,
and they're new to you.
Oh, uh, anything else
on that other matter?
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Check this out.
Oh.
Right now?
Margaret! Oh, hello. Where are
you? Are you coming tonight?
Hi, girls. Yes, of course.
My date was late, but he's just arrived.
Date?
- What about Harry?
- Who is it?
Oh, it's just a handsome
young man that I know.
Harry and I have split.
But you knew that, didn't you?
I mean, the way you've
been gossiping about me,
all around town, which is so unkind,
and frankly, it's ill-advised.
I mean, Desiree, how would
you feel if somebody found out
that your husband had
been let go from a job
because of inappropriate behavior?
Or
that you have been having long lunches
every afternoon at The Heathman,
oh, with Erica's husband?
Oh.
See you at the gala, ladies!
That was cold.
Ice-cold. Come.
Wow.
Ah.
This is for you.
Mm-hmm.
It's your old copy of Harriet the Spy.
Wow! I didn't know we still had this!
Thank you. Thank you.
Was this in one of my old boxes?
Where are my boxes, by the way?
You still have my stuff, right?
You didn't throw my stuff away?
Mom? It was only three boxes!
It was four boxes.