Social Distance (2020) s01e03 Episode Script

[rock music playing]
[woman] Hey, Michelle, what did I tell you
about riding the scooter in the house?
I know you can't see me,
but I put the camera there
so I can watch you. Remember?
Hey, sushi roll. Look at the camera.
Rule number one.
Don't open the door.
[woman] Ah, boo-yah!
Rule number two.
Don't open the door!
That's right!
Now kiss your smart little face for me.
[kisses]
-More. More.
-Mm! Mm!
-Aww, give me some more. Mm-hmm.
-[kissing]
Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm! Mm-hmm!
-Knock, knock.
-Who's there?
-Uh, no! [imitates buzzer]
-[groans]
[woman] Wrong answer.
Knock, knock! Knock, knock!
Knock, knock!
Pretend I'm not here, bro.
-[woman] Good girl.
-[laughs]
[woman]
That's right, pretend I'm not here.
Hang on, Michelle. I'm trying 
to do something for Miss Earnestine, okay?
[Earnestine]
What's taking so long? I'm starving.
I got you, just hold on.
No one's starving here.
I'm just getting my child squared away 
at home. You know how it is.
[Earnestine]
That's not the right kind of mask.
Well, this is the only mask
I could find, okay?
I went to three different
Duane Reades last night.
-Hey. What are you doing? Uh-uh.
-[microwave sparking]
-[woman] What are you doing with that?
-[screams]
Unplug it in the back.
Michelle, unplug it!
Oh, girl. [sighs]
Do not give me a heart attack today.
Hey, hey. Come over here.
Look, you're okay. It's all good.
But you cannot put foil in a microwave, 
okay? Now you know.
And you can't be eating
just 'cause you're bored.
We gotta make these groceries last, okay?
Okay.
[woman] Listen, I gotta go, baby.
Do your homework
and then you can watch an episode.
Send me a Polo if it's an emergency.
…times six minus two equals…
[man]
O' what can ail thee, Knight at arms,
-so haggard and so woebegone?
-[Michelle reading]
[man] The squirrel's granary is full.
-[woman 2] "Squirrel's granary is full."
-[man] The harvest's done.
-[woman 2] "Squirrel's granary is full.
-[man] I see a lily--
-[cell phone ringing]
-[woman 2] And a harvest--"
Hey, Ma.
Can I call you later?
I gotta head to the school.
[Earnestine] No.
Dang, somebody woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
Again. [laughs]
[Earnestine] It's all wrong sides.
[chuckles] So, what's up?
I gotta go grab stuff from my office,
so I can teach the youth from home later.
They're closing the campus to faculty.
[woman] Hey, hey, Marion.
Um, we were wondering if you're gonna be 
able to come visit tomorrow.
Hey! Um, you know, I don't think I can.
There is all these trainings
to move the classes online.
-Uh-oh.
-[Marion] What?
We got some thoughts coming in.
[Earnestine] You need to get over here
and visit with me,
or why did I shove your big head
out my loins?
At least drop off my CBD cream
so I got something to take my mind off
-my only thankless child.
-[cell phone chimes]
Here we go. Look, Mom,
I can't help it
if I'm tied up with all of this.
It's not like I invented Coronavirus
so that I have an excuse
to not come visit you, Mom.
I'm glad you're doing your homework,
but that is not an emergency, okay?
Remember what Miss Taylor said.
Sound it out.
[Earnestine] Wouldn't put it past you.
If it wasn't this, it'd be something else.
It's always something why you can't.
Yeah, well, I learned from the best.
I'm sure she'll come as soon
as she gets the chance. Right?
Whatever, I'll try.
But you know, it's really funny
how when she was the one
working all the time
and I wanted a little bit of attention,
it was, "When you gonna
leave me alone, child?
When are you gonna leave me alone?"
-[cell phone chimes]
-Like I was the plague.
Anyway.
[woman] Skip it and see
-if you can figure it out.
-[huffs] I'm sorry.
I'm sure we're too old 
for this therapy session.
[woman] Hey, your mom did work
really hard back in her day, you know?
If we can believe the tales
that she tells.
Yeah, well, I work hard too,
so I can pay so she can have somebody
whose company she can tolerate.
-[sighs] Who are you talking to?
-[woman] Michelle.
-Just checking in on her.
-How is she?
Great, you know, considering.
Thanks for asking.
[Earnestine] 
Don't change the subject.
[woman] She's being polite.
We're all still talking.
Yeah, you know what? I gotta go.
[woman] Oh, Marion! Okay.
When are you coming home?
When are you coming home? ♪
When are you coming home? ♪
[distorted]
When are you coming home? ♪
When are you coming home, Mom?
[woman] Hello?
Hey!
Where'd you go? I don't see you!
[tablet chimes]
[woman] Michelle,
holler if you're in the bathroom.
Okay, the joke is over. You got me.
[door opens]
[woman] Michelle Renee!
What are you doing?
I went to read my book on the roof.
[woman] Oh, my gosh, girl! What are you--?
What about "Do not open the door"?
But nobody knocked!
[woman] Wow! "Don't open the door"
means "stay inside."
Listen, we just gotta get through
the rest of the day, okay?
So just lock the door.
Take off your coat.
Now get your iPad and sit on the couch.
Do not get off that couch for any reason
until I get home unless you have to pee
and then you sit right back down, okay?
Okay.
[woman] I'll be home in three episodes.
"The squirrel's granary is full,
and the harvest's done."
Madison, it's your turn.
Hold on, I have to read this poem.
[exhales]
"I see a lily on thy brow,
-with anguish moist and fever-dew…
-[cell phone rings]
…and on thy cheek,
a fading rose fast withereth too."
So, I don't know.
-I feel triggered we have to read this.
-[phone vibrates]
Because this guy died from lung problems
and that seems
a little insensitive right now.
-Okay. Can you say more?
-[computer chimes]
I mean, I'd rather not.
-[cell phone vibrating]
-Uh… [sighs]
Okay. Uh, I have to take this.
Everybody take five, okay?
[clicks]
-[sighs]
-What's going on? Is she okay?
Yeah, she's fine.
I've been trying to reach you.
I'm in the middle of class.
Mom, I told you I'd try to come tomorrow.
Okay, well, the people here said
that they sent you a couple of emails
about this, and you haven't
made any arrangements,
but nobody told me anything
until just now.
Well, I'm sorry, what's "this"?
What arrangements?
Lockdown. They're closing this place
to visitors tomorrow,
and only staff can come and go
for the next two weeks.
So, your mom is gonna be left alone
if you don't come.
[Earnestine]
It doesn't work if you don't wear it.
[Marion] You'll be with her.
What do you mean she's gonna be alone?
[Earnestine] Don't touch your face.
How am I supposed to put it on
if I can't touch my face?
Facility staff, not supplemental.
Because you're the one paying me,
technically I'm not staff.
But how can they do that?
She cannot be there with just them.
They don't do enough.
I mean, what if she needs something?
Oh, well, they're turning the cafeteria
into a dorm for any supplementals
that wanna stay during lockdown.
Okay, well,
I don't want her there without you.
I mean, I'll pay you for the extra hours,
of course. Uh…
Somehow.
Marion.
I can't. [scoffs]
I don't have child care.
What do you mean? Who's watching her now?
I am.
Okay? She's at home alone,
but I'm watching her through my phone.
And it's because school is closed
and after-school is closed.
Okay, uh… I mean--
You don't have like a neighbor
or a friend or… anyone?
Do you think
I would have left her alone if I did?
Look, my mom has diabetes,
and my sister is an EMT. And the neighbor?
[scoffs] That is not the type of person
you leave your kid with.
And the other neighbor,
I think they have it,
so we've been trying to avoid them
to protect your mom and everyone here.
And I've been reaching out
to Unemployment nonstop,
all day every day, and it's a busy signal.
Wait a minute. Are you saying
that you'd quit if you could get through?
I don't want to quit. This is my job.
And even if I did get through,
it'd be a minute
before I even got any money.
I'm just saying I'm out of options.
And I don't want Earnestine
to be here alone either.
So can't you come?
[Earnestine]
Move away with your deathy spray.
Did she say "deathy spray"?
Yep.
[sighs]
Okay, just hold on. [types]
[purring]
Oh, boy.
Hey, everyone.
Everyone, listen. I have a situation
that I have to deal with here, okay?
So um, just-- Everyone, stay safe.
Check your email. Sorry.
Listen, I cannot be locked down in there.
I have to teach.
Can't you just teach from in here?
[scoffs] I can't!
I cannot teach
from inside a nursing home.
My students are scared enough already.
-[Imani] Mm-mmm.
-[beeps]
See, now you're just bringing the darkness
for no reason.
-Wait. Can Michelle come stay with you?
-[Imani] No.
[Earnestine] Children are carriers.
Well, you have an idea?
[Earnestine] Yes.
-"Won't you celebrate with me?
-[video game gunfire]
What I have shaped into a kind of life?"
-I would have creamed that guy!
-Shut up, you're making me miss.
-[siren wailing, horn blaring]
-Ah! Mute, mute! Everybody, mute!
-[clicks]
-[scoffs] God…
Ugh. Okay. It's okay.
We're all making the best of this.
All right?
Okay, I'll read the rest. Um…
-Okay. "Won't you celebrate with me?"
-[whistle blows on tablet]
-[festive music playing]
-Could you watch this with me?
Um… I can't right now. 
Remember? I'm teaching.
-Um…
-[turns off sound]
Can you go into the other room
and just hang out there till I come out?
You have a kid?
No, I have tenure.
What's tenure?
-[grunts]
-[scoffs]
Here.
Take this.
And you can sit in that chair right there.
You can sit back there and just…
just wait until I am done
teaching my class, okay?
-[Michelle] Mm-hmm.
-Okeydokey.
Um, "won't--
won't you celebrate with me?
What I have shaped into a kind of life?
I had no mod--"
-"Won't you celebrate--" Ah!
-[clattering]
[humming]
Are you watching?
[Imani] I can't watch right now, baby.
I'm helping Miss Earnestine.
[Michelle hums]
-Can you read this to me?
-[Marion] Uh…
[sighs] I'm busy right now.
-[Michelle] What are you doing?
-[Marion] Reading.
[locks door]
But you let Madison write about DAMN.
Kendrick Lamar won a Pulitzer.
It's not hard to make the argument
that he's writing poetry.
Keith Urban is… [scoffs]
…Nicole Kidman's husband.
-Can I do Lyle Lovett?
-[movie SFX blaring]
People say
he's "the Thinking Man's Cowboy."
-Uh…
-Here, let me show you some lyrics.
-[SFX blaring]
-[monster growling]
-[Imani] Michelle! What are you watching?
-[explosion on TV]
Um… uh, let me think about it.
Hold on, I'll be right back.
-[Imani] Michelle!
-Will you turn that down?
A lot!
I told you I had a meeting.
Why do you have it so loud?
[Imani] Why is she even watching that?
It's obviously very inappropriate
for a child her age.
-[sound muted]
-She said I could.
Sorry, I didn't know it had that in it.
[Imani] Well, can you turn it off?
And please don't talk to her like that.
Look, it doesn't seem
like this is working,
'cause every time I check in on her,
she's alone.
We're doing great. She's not alone.
Anyway, that's better
than her being "alone" alone
and you watching her through the phone.
[Imani] Which I was doing
so I could take care of your mother.
[scoffs] I'm calling you.
Taking care of her
is what I hired you to do.
I am not qualified to do what you do.
Keep her company.
Yeah. You're right about that.
Look, if you don't want
to make an effort with my kid,
then you can come sleep on the cot
next to the vending machine.
[man] You all good?
No.
[groans] What is…
[groans] What is happening right now?
[man] I hear that.
Well, Earnestine's asking for you.
Okay. Thanks.
-Do you need to go check on her?
-Do you need to go check on Michelle?
Listen.
I'm glad that she's safe with you.
And I appreciate this,
but it's not like just anyone can
take care of a kid, you know? It's work.
I know it is.
I'm glad I don't have one right now.
Hmm.
-[playing folk music]
-[Marion] I'm sorry. Michelle is…
a sweet kid. She just has a lot of energy.
-You wanna hear a song I'm learning?
-[Michelle] Whee!
-[boy] Okay.
-[Imani] Okay, well…
I think we should talk about how…
[continues indistinctly]
If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean ♪
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat ♪
Why does he have a pony on his boat?
[chuckles] I don't know.
I guess it was a strange day.
[cell phone ringing]
-Hold on.
-[Marion and Imani chattering]
-[boy] Oh. Okay.
-Hello.
-Hello.
-[Earnestine] Michelle, where's Marion?
Um, fighting with my mom.
-[boy] Who is that?
-[Marion] …leave my mom alone…
-[Earnestine] Who's that?
-This guy on the computer.
[boy chuckles] Hey, Michelle.
You see the button at the bottom
that says "share screen"?
Can you click it?
First, click on me.
[Earnestine]
Computer guy, help her spell it.
Okay, "Share" starts with the letter "S."
-[strumming guitar]
-"Screen" starts with the letter S too ♪
It's shaped like a square ♪
It's a share-screen shaped square.
It's a share-screen shaped square
It's a share-screen shaped square ♪
-Can you say that fast?
-Share-screen shaped square.
Say it ten times fast.
"Share-screen shaped square."
-Share-screen shaped square.
-[both] Share-screen shaped square.
[Marion] Okay, I'm back. Hop down.
But he's showing me.
Michelle, I have to teach.
Come on. Up, up.
[Michelle grumbles]
-[sighs] Sorry about that.
-Yeah, um--
-[Michelle] You're mean!
-There's somebody--
Excuse me, you don't even know "mean."
If I'd said that to my mom… [scoffs]
Just go entertain yourself
for a little bit, okay?
It's not that hard. Just go watch Sponge--
[Michelle shouts]
I don't wanna watch any more TV!
-[Marion] Michelle.
-[Michelle shrieks] No!
-You need to stop it and go sit down!
-[Michelle] No!
-[Marion] Don't do that. You do not hit---
-[Earnestine] Marion, stop.
Stop it! Ugh!
-[thuds]
-[Marion] Michelle--
When will you leave me alone, child?
When are you going to leave me alone?
Yo.
-[Michelle sobbing]
-[panting] Sorry. I'm sorry.
God, I am so sorry.
That was really mean. I'm sorry.
-Can I give you a hug?
-Um…
-[sighs]
-[Marion panting]
[Marion sighs]
Are you okay?
[Marion] Hello?
What happened?
[Earnestine] Share-screen shaped square.
Share-screen shaped square.
-Share-screen shaped square.
-[chuckles]
Share-screen shaped square.
-[laughing]
-[folk music playing]
If I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean ♪
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat ♪
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean ♪
Just me upon my pony on my boat ♪
Now if I was Roy Rogers
I'd sure enough be single ♪
Couldn't bring myself
To marrying old Dale ♪
Well, it'd just be me and Trigger
We'd go ridin' through them movies ♪
We'd buy a boat
And on it, we would sail ♪
And if I had a boat
I'd go out on the ocean ♪
And if I had a pony
I'd ride him on my boat ♪
And we could all together
Go out on the ocean ♪
Just me upon my pony on my boat ♪