Son of the Beach (2000) s01e03 Episode Script
In the G Hetto
Danger,you're never outta reach From the hood Even at the beach Compton, Long Beach, Malibu Adjacent You're always in danger when the hood's a-ragin' C.
P.
T.
or M.
A.
D.
J.
Rememberthat the hood is neverfar away 'Dis the hood And it's here to stay Yeah The Bird.
What doyou want? Jamaica St.
Croix.
You too good for us now thatyou left the hood? We had a good thing together.
Still got that crippled hand, Bird? Whyfix it? I'd only have to change my name.
What doyou want from me? I leftyour posse.
I said no to gangbanging a long time ago.
Baby, I got a phat shipment coming in but the D.
E.
A.
is scoping for my boat.
Ain't that right? Shut up! So I'm having someone swim out to Fuego Island and make the score.
And that someone is you.
Jackin' trade foryou, Bird? Here's what I think ofyour plan.
Aah! Cell phone! Maybe this will convinceyou.
[Woman .]
Jamaica, don't do it! Don't listen to him! I'll be OK! Thatwas my sister, Montego Bay! I needed a little collateral.
Hoochie, I'm giving you 24 hours to rejoin the posse oryou can say good day to Montego Bay.
Ha ha ha ha! No.
Come on, suck! Suck hard! Keep sucking! Ah, that's good.
Good, B.
J.
! Good, B.
J.
! That's it.
You go, girl! Get it all! Get it all! Ah! Excellent, B.
J.
! You see, gang the secret to saving a snakebitevictim is drawing out the vennum as quickly as possible.
Uh, Notch? I know I'm new here, but doyou really think there are poisonous snakes on the beach? Kimberlee, you can't be too careful.
After all, Arizona is only one state away.
What about me? Can I have a try? It's all yours, Chip.
OK, I hope I don't blow it.
OK, suck suck hard! Yeah, that's it, Chip.
That's it.
Keep sucking! Keep sucking! Yeah, tha-- Oww! Watch the teeth! Yeah, tha-- Oww! Watch the teeth! [ Announcer.]
Tonight's episode-- Guests of Son OfThe Beach stay at their friends' houses.
That's good.
OK, very good.
Nice job, Chip.
Nice job.
OK, Kimberlee you're up.
OK.
Notch, I have an important announcement to make.
Yes, but-- And that announcement is the police report a sudden influx of homeless men to the beach.
Tell me about it.
Yesterday, I turned around and one ofthem was eating my Chalupa.
OK, everyone, let's hit the beach.
Chief, uh-- Well I was, uh-- Chip, it's like snake poison-- Just spit it out.
I was hoping to get the week off to train for the Mr.
Pec Pageant.
The Mr.
Pec Pageant? Best uppertorso on the beach for a man.
In 1 976, my friend Gunther was Mr.
Pec.
I would do anything to follow in his goose-steps.
Thinkyou've got the chops, Chip? I don't know.
You tell me.
Well, not bad, my bosom buddy but let's see ifyou can keep upwith this.
[ Sigh .]
I'd enter the contest, but I pulled my groin last night watching television.
Chip, I'm gonna giveyou theweekoffto train.
- I only ask one favor.
- What's that? Win.
Win it for me.
Danke, Notch! I would love to beyourwiener.
Mother, I wanna look! Now, Kody, dear I'm the judge of the Mr.
Pec Pageant.
I have to look! No! I have to look for other reasons! Ooh! Gimme the damn binoculars! Fine, take them.
But I was about to askyou to go get Chip for me.
Oh, Mother you're delicious! See, Chappy, you can use the bag to pick up trash or you can use it as underwear.
Notch,just give him the bag.
Ah, why bother? There ain't enough garbage to go around with all the nouveau homeless moving in.
Oh, Chappy you've owned this beach foryears.
It's time to share the wealth.
And the police saythe new guys won't be here long.
Good, good.
Jamaica, you look like you're out ofbreath.
I just saw something I neverwanna see again.
- Cellulite? - No.
Even worse.
The leader of my old gang-- the Bird.
You were in a gang? Yes, she was, Kimberlee.
What was the Bird doing here? Hewant me to mule his junk but I don't wanna be a mule! What's a mule? B.
J.
, a mule is an animal with long, funny ears.
He laughs at most anything he hears.
His legs-- Notch, in this case, a mule is a person who smuggles contraband.
And now he's kidnapped my sister.
IfI don't do what hewants he gonna ice her! Iceyour sister? Oh, that is cold! I'm so proud ofher.
She's number one in her class at medical school.
She's gonna be a doctor? No.
An X-ray technician.
An X-ray technician?!.
Then, damn it, we have to do something otherwise, your sister will never know the joy of pressing that button and running out ofthe room.
I called you here today because, as you know I'm the sole judge ofthe Mr.
Pec Pageant.
What an honor to be the judge for such an important contest.
In 1 976, myfriend Gunther-- I was thinking, sinceyou're a local boy wouldn't it be wunderbar ifyou went homewith this? The Golden Nipple! "Erderes gewinnt die brustwarze er obert die welt.
" I had a wild notion of an exercise you could do that would guarantee your clinching the Nipple.
Really? I'll try any exercise.
We could do this exercise together.
But I already have a workout partner-- Gunther! And he has 4 Nipples! No, you cute dumbbell.
I'm saying ifyou and I have a little rendezvous I'll guarantee you win the pageant.
Rendezvous? As in sodomy? Fornication? And doing the bare-ass boogie? [Thud .]
All that and more.
Here's the plan.
Tonight at 9:00, room 1 4 the Lazy "I" Motel.
You know how to use a key, don'tyou, Chip? You just stick it in the hole androtate.
Here,Jamaica this will calm you down.
Here,Jamaica this will calm you down.
It's a St.
John's Wort smoothie.
You peoples just ain't gettin' it! The Bird wants an answer by tonight or my sisterwill be pushing up concrete! Hey, you listen to me, man! I'm not afraid ofbig Bird! But first, we have to get some information.
Yeah,Jamaica.
Tell us more about this posseyou were in.
These mothers are bad news.
But I got out.
I picked myselfup by mySpeedo straps and I joined the high-school-equivalency swim team.
How did you get mixed up in all this to begin with? It started out as fun.
We has this singing group called H.
B.
U.
H.
B.
U.
? Yeah-- "Hot Bitches in Underwear.
" [ Moderate R&b Tempo .]
Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby Word up, dog.
You bitches had your funk on.
Yeah, we were tight.
Until the Bird came along.
He made us turn to a life of crime.
[ Sobbing .]
Look at him.
He's the next Gunther-- Strong arms firm, poutingyabbos and his sun-kissed buttocks! How can I compete? I'll be letting down Notch.
And worse, I'll be letting down mei n Fatherland-- I mean, my country.
I guess I only have one choice.
J amaica, what changed your life? What got you out of theg-hetto? My brother.
Kimberlee, she means her bro.
He introduced me to the water.
He paid for my swimming lessons.
He even bought me my first pair offloaties.
But myfloaties were expensive.
How could he afford 'em? My bro was living large.
Until--Until he got killed in a swim-by shooting! Here,Jamaica.
Here's another smoothie.
This one has St.
John's Wort, kava-kava and ginko balbobova.
But it's my sister and he'll be calling for an answer tonight! Ohh! [ Sobs .]
[Jazzy Elevator Music Playing .]
I've been waiting for your knock, Herr Rommel! Come on in and blitzkrieg my luftwaffe.
Hey, Chappy how would you like to make $20 for a little sex? Hey, hey I'm homeless, not homo.
Not with me.
With a woman.
Yeah? Sure.
Let me just park this thing.
[ Alarm Chirps .]
[ Anita .]
Schnell, Red Baron! My hangar awaits your Messerschmitt.
[ Chappy Growling .]
Hee hee! Whywon't the phone ring?!.
Try to stay cool, Jamaica.
[ Ring .]
OK, I'll handle this.
[ Ring .]
Hello? Son, I'm expecting a very important phone call.
OK, fine.
I'll ask.
Does anyone know a Mike Hunt? Mike Hunt? Mike Hunt? It's a prank, Notch.
A prank.
[ Ring .]
I'll get it.
[ Ring .]
Hello? What up, homey? Never mind me.
How's my sister? That bitch is money.
Ain't that right, Montego? Jamaica, don't be a mule! I'll escape from this posse! Shut up! Ow! You're hurting me! Tomorrow, 9 a.
m.
you're swimmin' to Fuego Island.
Fine.
I'll make the swim foryou but if anything happens to Montego Bay I'm telling the first cop who pulls me overfor no reason.
Got it? Ooh, I'd like to choke the Bird.
Notch, what am I gonna do? Oh, I got this one handled 'cause tomorrow, at 9 a.
m.
I'm gonna go down there and I'm gonna lickyour posse.
Read my lips.
I'm gonna lick yourposse.
And I'm gonna enjoy doing it.
0900 o'clock.
Where are they? Yo, fools! Whereyou lookin'? Montego! Oop.
You gotta swim out and get me my Peruvian marching powder.
Wait a second, the Bird! Who areyou? Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Notch Johnson, and I'm in the house.
The Notch Johnson? Why should I let you swim out there? Because I'm not a coward and only a coward makes women do his dirtywork.
Johnson, you dissin' me? 'Cause ifanything gets janky, first I'll 1 87 Montego.
Then I take out your posse! OK.
I'm jiggy with that.
Notch, why are you doing this? We should call the police.
Don'tworry, Kimberlee.
The last thing I'm gonna do is look foolish.
Am I dreaming? Or is thatyou, my naughty German shepherd? Grrr.
I love a gruffvoice in the morning.
You made me see God last night.
No one's ever done that.
Grr-rrahhrr! Ooh, I was gonna giveyou a little wake-me-up but I can feel you're ready to go, Chipper.
Hee hee hee.
Aaaaaaaaaah! Hola.
?Donde esta la biblioteca? OK, I'm here for the stuff.
Just put it in a bag.
Bag?!.
You don't need no stinking bag.
That's it? That's what the fuss is about? One party balloon? Not one.
1 2! OK,just put it in a sack, and I'll be on myway.
No, maricon.
You must swallow them.
Ha ha ha! That's very funny.
Swallow them orwe'll put them in the other end.
- Ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! Uh-oh.
Here comes the judge.
Rommel, how dareyou send a filthy bum into my room to force himself on me? Well, here's a news flash: There's no wayyou're winning this pageant not as long as I am the judge.
Notch, areyou OK? Where's the stuff? I can't believe I ate thewhole thing.
Eww! You made him swallow? I hate that.
Notch, I'm sorry.
I should've gone.
Ah, don'tworry about it.
I just don't know how I'm gonna complete delivery.
Oh, I do.
Swallow these.
Laxatives?!.
Don't make him take those.
Yeah.
There's a burrito stand right around the corner.
- Eat 'em! - And what ifI say no? Fine.
But I'll need a glass ofwater and some privacy.
Notch, areyou OK in there? [ Notch .]
I've taken 7 ofthose laxatives and so far, don't feel a thing.
I'm telling you, nothing.
These pills have had absolutely no-- - [ Low Rumbling .]
- Whoa! Holy Mary, Mother ofGod!! [ Explosive Splashing .]
[ Notch Grunting .]
Here come the condoms.
[ Gunshot-like Explosions, Occasional Ricochets .]
I only counted 1 1,Johnson.
You holding out on me? [ Small Explosion .]
That makes 1 2.
[ Hissing .]
- Ugh! - Eww! OKhere's your stuff.
Now let Montego go.
Sure, right after I offall thewitnesses! Freeze! D.
E.
A.
! It's the homeless guys? See? I got the power ofthe U.
S.
Drug Enforcement Agency behind me! Jamaica! Gentlemen, I giveyou the Bird.
Notch, you knew all along that the homeless guys were undercover.
Well, of course I did.
Thanks, Notch! I loveyou, man.
Notch Johnson! I'll getyou in the end! No.
You're going to prison.
You'll be the one getting it in the end.
- Ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha! - Ha ha! OK the second runner-up for this year's Mr.
Pec Pageant is Mike Hunt? Hey, Mike.
Someone called the other day, looking foryou.
OK.
Now, before we announce the new Mr.
Pec let's meet the judge for this year's pageant Mayor Anita Massengil! Sorry.
Mother couldn't be here so she asked me to be the judge.
Wow! That's queer.
The envelope, please? The winner ofthis year's Mr.
Pec Pageant is from Nuremberg, Germany, Mr.
Chip Rommel! [ Cheers And Squeals .]
Yeah! Kody, I can't thankyou enough.
How can I ever repayyou? Well, I do have a prom coming up.
Uh, we'll talk.
Bytheway, where is your mother? Chappy my Sterno-drinking stallion I can't say no toyou.
Can I haveyour butt? OK.
I've never done that before.
It's the best part ofthe smoke.
OhChappy.
OhChappy.
Hi, teens.
Notch Johnson here.
Tonight's show was about getting out of poverty.
So here to talk to our friends ofthe g-hetto is our own Jamaica St.
Croix.
'Maica? Thanks, Notch.
[ Rapping .]
Yo, you fi'nna raise up and getyo' booty In a uptown career? Shoot, dog, don't be layin' in the cut Gettin' your drink on And when you gettin' yourfreak on With some fly-ass honey Use a jimmy hat, getyo' game together Make the other kids in the hood hate on you As you-- heh-- Audi 5,000 I don't knowwhatyou said, but that's good advice.
So, until next time this is Notch Johnson saying ride the big one, and - peace-out! - Peace-out!
P.
T.
or M.
A.
D.
J.
Rememberthat the hood is neverfar away 'Dis the hood And it's here to stay Yeah The Bird.
What doyou want? Jamaica St.
Croix.
You too good for us now thatyou left the hood? We had a good thing together.
Still got that crippled hand, Bird? Whyfix it? I'd only have to change my name.
What doyou want from me? I leftyour posse.
I said no to gangbanging a long time ago.
Baby, I got a phat shipment coming in but the D.
E.
A.
is scoping for my boat.
Ain't that right? Shut up! So I'm having someone swim out to Fuego Island and make the score.
And that someone is you.
Jackin' trade foryou, Bird? Here's what I think ofyour plan.
Aah! Cell phone! Maybe this will convinceyou.
[Woman .]
Jamaica, don't do it! Don't listen to him! I'll be OK! Thatwas my sister, Montego Bay! I needed a little collateral.
Hoochie, I'm giving you 24 hours to rejoin the posse oryou can say good day to Montego Bay.
Ha ha ha ha! No.
Come on, suck! Suck hard! Keep sucking! Ah, that's good.
Good, B.
J.
! Good, B.
J.
! That's it.
You go, girl! Get it all! Get it all! Ah! Excellent, B.
J.
! You see, gang the secret to saving a snakebitevictim is drawing out the vennum as quickly as possible.
Uh, Notch? I know I'm new here, but doyou really think there are poisonous snakes on the beach? Kimberlee, you can't be too careful.
After all, Arizona is only one state away.
What about me? Can I have a try? It's all yours, Chip.
OK, I hope I don't blow it.
OK, suck suck hard! Yeah, that's it, Chip.
That's it.
Keep sucking! Keep sucking! Yeah, tha-- Oww! Watch the teeth! Yeah, tha-- Oww! Watch the teeth! [ Announcer.]
Tonight's episode-- Guests of Son OfThe Beach stay at their friends' houses.
That's good.
OK, very good.
Nice job, Chip.
Nice job.
OK, Kimberlee you're up.
OK.
Notch, I have an important announcement to make.
Yes, but-- And that announcement is the police report a sudden influx of homeless men to the beach.
Tell me about it.
Yesterday, I turned around and one ofthem was eating my Chalupa.
OK, everyone, let's hit the beach.
Chief, uh-- Well I was, uh-- Chip, it's like snake poison-- Just spit it out.
I was hoping to get the week off to train for the Mr.
Pec Pageant.
The Mr.
Pec Pageant? Best uppertorso on the beach for a man.
In 1 976, my friend Gunther was Mr.
Pec.
I would do anything to follow in his goose-steps.
Thinkyou've got the chops, Chip? I don't know.
You tell me.
Well, not bad, my bosom buddy but let's see ifyou can keep upwith this.
[ Sigh .]
I'd enter the contest, but I pulled my groin last night watching television.
Chip, I'm gonna giveyou theweekoffto train.
- I only ask one favor.
- What's that? Win.
Win it for me.
Danke, Notch! I would love to beyourwiener.
Mother, I wanna look! Now, Kody, dear I'm the judge of the Mr.
Pec Pageant.
I have to look! No! I have to look for other reasons! Ooh! Gimme the damn binoculars! Fine, take them.
But I was about to askyou to go get Chip for me.
Oh, Mother you're delicious! See, Chappy, you can use the bag to pick up trash or you can use it as underwear.
Notch,just give him the bag.
Ah, why bother? There ain't enough garbage to go around with all the nouveau homeless moving in.
Oh, Chappy you've owned this beach foryears.
It's time to share the wealth.
And the police saythe new guys won't be here long.
Good, good.
Jamaica, you look like you're out ofbreath.
I just saw something I neverwanna see again.
- Cellulite? - No.
Even worse.
The leader of my old gang-- the Bird.
You were in a gang? Yes, she was, Kimberlee.
What was the Bird doing here? Hewant me to mule his junk but I don't wanna be a mule! What's a mule? B.
J.
, a mule is an animal with long, funny ears.
He laughs at most anything he hears.
His legs-- Notch, in this case, a mule is a person who smuggles contraband.
And now he's kidnapped my sister.
IfI don't do what hewants he gonna ice her! Iceyour sister? Oh, that is cold! I'm so proud ofher.
She's number one in her class at medical school.
She's gonna be a doctor? No.
An X-ray technician.
An X-ray technician?!.
Then, damn it, we have to do something otherwise, your sister will never know the joy of pressing that button and running out ofthe room.
I called you here today because, as you know I'm the sole judge ofthe Mr.
Pec Pageant.
What an honor to be the judge for such an important contest.
In 1 976, myfriend Gunther-- I was thinking, sinceyou're a local boy wouldn't it be wunderbar ifyou went homewith this? The Golden Nipple! "Erderes gewinnt die brustwarze er obert die welt.
" I had a wild notion of an exercise you could do that would guarantee your clinching the Nipple.
Really? I'll try any exercise.
We could do this exercise together.
But I already have a workout partner-- Gunther! And he has 4 Nipples! No, you cute dumbbell.
I'm saying ifyou and I have a little rendezvous I'll guarantee you win the pageant.
Rendezvous? As in sodomy? Fornication? And doing the bare-ass boogie? [Thud .]
All that and more.
Here's the plan.
Tonight at 9:00, room 1 4 the Lazy "I" Motel.
You know how to use a key, don'tyou, Chip? You just stick it in the hole androtate.
Here,Jamaica this will calm you down.
Here,Jamaica this will calm you down.
It's a St.
John's Wort smoothie.
You peoples just ain't gettin' it! The Bird wants an answer by tonight or my sisterwill be pushing up concrete! Hey, you listen to me, man! I'm not afraid ofbig Bird! But first, we have to get some information.
Yeah,Jamaica.
Tell us more about this posseyou were in.
These mothers are bad news.
But I got out.
I picked myselfup by mySpeedo straps and I joined the high-school-equivalency swim team.
How did you get mixed up in all this to begin with? It started out as fun.
We has this singing group called H.
B.
U.
H.
B.
U.
? Yeah-- "Hot Bitches in Underwear.
" [ Moderate R&b Tempo .]
Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby, baby Baby, baby Baby, baby, baby Word up, dog.
You bitches had your funk on.
Yeah, we were tight.
Until the Bird came along.
He made us turn to a life of crime.
[ Sobbing .]
Look at him.
He's the next Gunther-- Strong arms firm, poutingyabbos and his sun-kissed buttocks! How can I compete? I'll be letting down Notch.
And worse, I'll be letting down mei n Fatherland-- I mean, my country.
I guess I only have one choice.
J amaica, what changed your life? What got you out of theg-hetto? My brother.
Kimberlee, she means her bro.
He introduced me to the water.
He paid for my swimming lessons.
He even bought me my first pair offloaties.
But myfloaties were expensive.
How could he afford 'em? My bro was living large.
Until--Until he got killed in a swim-by shooting! Here,Jamaica.
Here's another smoothie.
This one has St.
John's Wort, kava-kava and ginko balbobova.
But it's my sister and he'll be calling for an answer tonight! Ohh! [ Sobs .]
[Jazzy Elevator Music Playing .]
I've been waiting for your knock, Herr Rommel! Come on in and blitzkrieg my luftwaffe.
Hey, Chappy how would you like to make $20 for a little sex? Hey, hey I'm homeless, not homo.
Not with me.
With a woman.
Yeah? Sure.
Let me just park this thing.
[ Alarm Chirps .]
[ Anita .]
Schnell, Red Baron! My hangar awaits your Messerschmitt.
[ Chappy Growling .]
Hee hee! Whywon't the phone ring?!.
Try to stay cool, Jamaica.
[ Ring .]
OK, I'll handle this.
[ Ring .]
Hello? Son, I'm expecting a very important phone call.
OK, fine.
I'll ask.
Does anyone know a Mike Hunt? Mike Hunt? Mike Hunt? It's a prank, Notch.
A prank.
[ Ring .]
I'll get it.
[ Ring .]
Hello? What up, homey? Never mind me.
How's my sister? That bitch is money.
Ain't that right, Montego? Jamaica, don't be a mule! I'll escape from this posse! Shut up! Ow! You're hurting me! Tomorrow, 9 a.
m.
you're swimmin' to Fuego Island.
Fine.
I'll make the swim foryou but if anything happens to Montego Bay I'm telling the first cop who pulls me overfor no reason.
Got it? Ooh, I'd like to choke the Bird.
Notch, what am I gonna do? Oh, I got this one handled 'cause tomorrow, at 9 a.
m.
I'm gonna go down there and I'm gonna lickyour posse.
Read my lips.
I'm gonna lick yourposse.
And I'm gonna enjoy doing it.
0900 o'clock.
Where are they? Yo, fools! Whereyou lookin'? Montego! Oop.
You gotta swim out and get me my Peruvian marching powder.
Wait a second, the Bird! Who areyou? Allow me to introduce myself.
I'm Notch Johnson, and I'm in the house.
The Notch Johnson? Why should I let you swim out there? Because I'm not a coward and only a coward makes women do his dirtywork.
Johnson, you dissin' me? 'Cause ifanything gets janky, first I'll 1 87 Montego.
Then I take out your posse! OK.
I'm jiggy with that.
Notch, why are you doing this? We should call the police.
Don'tworry, Kimberlee.
The last thing I'm gonna do is look foolish.
Am I dreaming? Or is thatyou, my naughty German shepherd? Grrr.
I love a gruffvoice in the morning.
You made me see God last night.
No one's ever done that.
Grr-rrahhrr! Ooh, I was gonna giveyou a little wake-me-up but I can feel you're ready to go, Chipper.
Hee hee hee.
Aaaaaaaaaah! Hola.
?Donde esta la biblioteca? OK, I'm here for the stuff.
Just put it in a bag.
Bag?!.
You don't need no stinking bag.
That's it? That's what the fuss is about? One party balloon? Not one.
1 2! OK,just put it in a sack, and I'll be on myway.
No, maricon.
You must swallow them.
Ha ha ha! That's very funny.
Swallow them orwe'll put them in the other end.
- Ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! - Ha ha ha! Uh-oh.
Here comes the judge.
Rommel, how dareyou send a filthy bum into my room to force himself on me? Well, here's a news flash: There's no wayyou're winning this pageant not as long as I am the judge.
Notch, areyou OK? Where's the stuff? I can't believe I ate thewhole thing.
Eww! You made him swallow? I hate that.
Notch, I'm sorry.
I should've gone.
Ah, don'tworry about it.
I just don't know how I'm gonna complete delivery.
Oh, I do.
Swallow these.
Laxatives?!.
Don't make him take those.
Yeah.
There's a burrito stand right around the corner.
- Eat 'em! - And what ifI say no? Fine.
But I'll need a glass ofwater and some privacy.
Notch, areyou OK in there? [ Notch .]
I've taken 7 ofthose laxatives and so far, don't feel a thing.
I'm telling you, nothing.
These pills have had absolutely no-- - [ Low Rumbling .]
- Whoa! Holy Mary, Mother ofGod!! [ Explosive Splashing .]
[ Notch Grunting .]
Here come the condoms.
[ Gunshot-like Explosions, Occasional Ricochets .]
I only counted 1 1,Johnson.
You holding out on me? [ Small Explosion .]
That makes 1 2.
[ Hissing .]
- Ugh! - Eww! OKhere's your stuff.
Now let Montego go.
Sure, right after I offall thewitnesses! Freeze! D.
E.
A.
! It's the homeless guys? See? I got the power ofthe U.
S.
Drug Enforcement Agency behind me! Jamaica! Gentlemen, I giveyou the Bird.
Notch, you knew all along that the homeless guys were undercover.
Well, of course I did.
Thanks, Notch! I loveyou, man.
Notch Johnson! I'll getyou in the end! No.
You're going to prison.
You'll be the one getting it in the end.
- Ha ha ha ha! - Ha ha! - Ha ha! OK the second runner-up for this year's Mr.
Pec Pageant is Mike Hunt? Hey, Mike.
Someone called the other day, looking foryou.
OK.
Now, before we announce the new Mr.
Pec let's meet the judge for this year's pageant Mayor Anita Massengil! Sorry.
Mother couldn't be here so she asked me to be the judge.
Wow! That's queer.
The envelope, please? The winner ofthis year's Mr.
Pec Pageant is from Nuremberg, Germany, Mr.
Chip Rommel! [ Cheers And Squeals .]
Yeah! Kody, I can't thankyou enough.
How can I ever repayyou? Well, I do have a prom coming up.
Uh, we'll talk.
Bytheway, where is your mother? Chappy my Sterno-drinking stallion I can't say no toyou.
Can I haveyour butt? OK.
I've never done that before.
It's the best part ofthe smoke.
OhChappy.
OhChappy.
Hi, teens.
Notch Johnson here.
Tonight's show was about getting out of poverty.
So here to talk to our friends ofthe g-hetto is our own Jamaica St.
Croix.
'Maica? Thanks, Notch.
[ Rapping .]
Yo, you fi'nna raise up and getyo' booty In a uptown career? Shoot, dog, don't be layin' in the cut Gettin' your drink on And when you gettin' yourfreak on With some fly-ass honey Use a jimmy hat, getyo' game together Make the other kids in the hood hate on you As you-- heh-- Audi 5,000 I don't knowwhatyou said, but that's good advice.
So, until next time this is Notch Johnson saying ride the big one, and - peace-out! - Peace-out!