Space Dandy (2014) s01e03 Episode Script
Occasionally Even the Deceiver Is Deceived, Baby
1 Space Dandy is a dandy in space.
He is a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
On a journey of adventure to new worlds, he searches for unknown extraterrestrials.
These are the spectacular tales of these alien hunters! These days, I don't know where I've come from I've forgotten the ways of love 'cause it's been a while For us, life is five minutes' introspection You're real pushy, but when your jewel is taken away, your beauty is touched by sadness Sometimes sending tears flying with a wild sha-la-Lu-la Looking at the shooting stars, it's simple We're all human Viva tears, it's okay for them to overflow, baby They're not wasted Can't stop, I love you like this Tears, tears, that's right Those tears, will you leave them to me? When you fall, get right back up again Let's go together! Tell me "This is the best" again Tears, tears, goodbye! Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Next? The alien discovery of the century has finally been captured.
And man, was it tough.
It shot beams from its eyes and flames from its mouth.
Avoiding anything and everything it shot out, I caught it unawares for a second and then karate chopped this Iriomote wildcat-like alien.
I've never heard of an alien like that.
That's why That's why it's the discovery of the century, baby! Rejected.
"Occasionally Even the Deceiver is Deceived, Baby" I told you we wouldn't get away with it.
If you hadn't been so clumsy, we would've been rolling in reward money by now.
Aw man, that made me hungry.
It's time to eat, everyone! Oh, perfect timing! What the heck is this? It's space food.
I got it through the galaxy mail orderâs phase difference space delivery service.
It came from 10,000 light-years away.
The galaxy mail-order is at the end of the universe, so it was especially cheap.
10,000 light-years? That means it expired 10,000 years ago, baby! Oh, but it's not the "consume by" date, it's the "sell by" date, so it might still be okay to eat.
Then you eat it! There's plenty left.
It was a "Buy 1, Get 365" special.
Wasn't it a great deal? This is terrible At times like this, there's nothing left to do but go to Boobies.
We don't have the money for that.
I've saved my secret weapon for times like these.
Take a look at this! What's that? You've filled up your point card.
Your next visit's on us! Even if we have no money, we can still enjoy Boobies with this.
Is that a Boobies point card? This is the fruit of my sweat and blood, going to Boobies, rain or shine baby.
You don't have anything better to do with your time? This guy's just a cat, after all.
But this card is only good until today.
Wh-What?! Hey, how many hours are left in "today"? Two hours and 30 minutes.
Where's the closest Boobies? There's one in Galaxy Mexico, District 3.
Full speed ahead! Charge the engines to 200%! It will lake us 2 hours and 40 minutes to get there.
We wonât make it.
Damn it! I guess there's no helping it.
We'll have to warp.
Huh? Didn't you say the warp device was broken, so you didn't want to use it? You fool! There are limes when a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
It's taking too long! Ah, if you keep pushing the button Ow Hey, where are we? Analysis finished.
Location unknown.
Unable to detect living organisms.
Are there any? Hm It looks like there's oxygen.
I wasn't asking about that.
I wanted to know if there were any Boobies on this planet! C'mon, let's go back.
If we put out a distress signal, a rescue party might find us.
There might be a hidden Boobies somewhere around here.
None none there's no way none.
Even if there isn't a Boobies, there might be an alien that hasn't been recorded yet.
But there aren't even any signs of life, right? What, are you scared? Not really.
The pitcher's a scaredy cat! Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not scared, and I'm not even a pitcher.
There's nothing more pathetic than a man shaking in his boots.
What was that just now? Weren't you the most scared out of all of us? Somebody- Please, help me! Okay, I'll help you.
Hey, QT! Who're these guys? W-Wait a minute, please! Wh-What the heck are these guys? It looks like I'll have to go all out against you guys! Will you please slop doing that? What's this? Why isn't my beam working against them? Because you haven't hit them once.
It can't be helped.
In that case Run! Those guys were Ragians.
They have already been recorded.
So we wonât get any money even if we catch them, huh? Not like you could get them, anyway.
Um Thank you for saving me.
Wh-What's your name? My name is- I'm Meow.
This is completely off topic, but did you know that Betelgeuse is number one in consumption of bonito flakes? Don't know, don't care! Right? You guys are funny.
Wh-What are you two doing? My name is Mamitas.
When I tried to warp after shopping, I got caught in a space-time distortion and landed here My ship's broken, and I'm all alone.
I'm really scared You don't have to worry anymore.
I'll make sure you get home safe.
Or you can come to my place, if you prefer.
But the Aloha Oe is broken.
Is your spaceship's core system higher than version 5.
2, Mamitas? Yes.
We might be able to repair the Aloha Oe using parts from your ship.
We have finally been able to determine his location.
I will not tolerate any more failures.
Understand? Yes, sir.
The Seventh Fleet has completely surrounded the planet he is on.
Once we capture that Dandy, the universe will be ours, the Gogol Empire's! My spaceship is over there.
Oh, it's those guys again.
They sure are persistent.
I'll show you how to get there.
You should be fine if you go around this way.
I am going to land on this planet with the commander to capture that man.
Doctor, there is a problem.
There is an extremely scary alien on this planet.
What? A frightening alien that devours every living organism on the planet.
Hmm It's older than I thought, but there are a number of parts that look useable.
Oh, youâre an alien hunter? That's amazing! It's no big deal.
Some people say I laugh in the face of danger, though.
This is completely off topic, but are you a picky eater? I can eat anything.
- So you're omnivorous? - Yes.
Seriously? Me, too! You've filled up your point card.
! Your next visit's on us! - This guy really is just a cat.
- What? Your paints are only good for another flour.
Hurry up and come! Crap, I forgot, baby.
- QT, we need to escape from this planet in a hurry! - Cat Please, look at this.
It's the Deathgerian, the alien that has topped the list of "Aliens I Don't Want to Be Eaten By" for 12 straight years.
Cause when you meet one, that's it.
You'll be eaten for sure.
For sure? Yes, for sure.
Doctor, the commander hasn't arrived yet? Withdraw, Seventh Fleet! That was close If there's anything I don't want to be eaten by, it's this.
Oh, this one, this one! As long as we have this, the Aloha oe might start working again.
Huh? Meow? Mamitas? That bastard Damn it, you guys were still here? Persistent aliens aren't popular, you know.
See ya later! Huh? The battery's dead?! Could they be saying something? Maybe you could try the translator to see what they're saying.
It's dangerous! Hurry up and go home! The Deathgerian will eat ya! Deathgerian? Everyone who came on these ships was eaten by the Deathgerian.
Yeah, all you people come at us with guns even though we're just tryin' to warn ya.
Maybe these aliens aren't actually that bad.
These guvs? What's this about a Deathgerian? What're ya talking about? You were together the whole time! What? It's about time for the Deathgerian to get real hungry.
Y'all should run away, fast! Deathgerians transform when they get hungry.
Well, weâll be heading off first.
It can't be Cat Cat.
What? Aw, shucks.
Even you, Mamitas? I've never eaten one.
What? I said, I'm not a cat.
Mamitas? Meow! What's happening?! No way It's a buttload of boobs! B-B-Boobies! No! Please help me! Help me Meow! I'm coming! Wh-What?! The repairs won't be done in time.
All right, let's get out on the Little Aloha! Let's go! Is it all right if you don't save Meow? He might not be digested yet.
Farewell, Meow.
I will never forget you.
Wait, the Boobies point card! I think Meow had it.
Idiot! Have I ever abandoned a friend? You were about to just now.
QT, tell me about the Deathgerian.
Let's see.
Deathgerians are monsters who, when hungry, transform and devour everything around them.
In that case, we should transform, too.
What? It's finally time to use that.
What's "that"? Change! Hawaii-Yankee! What? This is the first I've heard of it! Let's go, Hawaii-Yankee! Take that! What? Hm? I wonder what's wrong? I see.
It's that expired space food from earlier.
She's feeling sick after eating it! What?! All right! One extra-large order, coming up! Good thing we didn't throw it away after all! Approved.
Yay! The reward was 99,000 woolongs! Even though we lost the point card, with this much money, we can still go to Boobies, baby! Wait, was it just the points we lost? I feel like we lost something else, too Oh.
"To be continued" Hey, Everett What am I like in your world? Let me take a peek Hey, Everett According to you, there are lots of different worlds I'm not sure I understand "Hi, Dandy" "Hello" "How are you doing?" Hey, Ph.
D.
The alternate worlds will always be parallel It's enough to blow my mind Oh, once it cools, it hardens When heated, it melts This world is so full of rules, it's gonna fall apart One dimension, two dimensions, three dimensions A supernova falling from west to east Easy Game, Easy Game, too Easy Game Going is fine, but what about coming home? Oh, the dream of a never-ending dream A melty, milky kiss How far will this world expand? Neshtime, on "Spaysh Danly" Wait, I can't understand what you're sayin Wha're you two doin Nechtime, "Sommtimes ya cant live wi' dyin' babee" "Next time: Sometimes You Can't Live With Dying, Baby"
He is a galaxy-wide alien hunter.
On a journey of adventure to new worlds, he searches for unknown extraterrestrials.
These are the spectacular tales of these alien hunters! These days, I don't know where I've come from I've forgotten the ways of love 'cause it's been a while For us, life is five minutes' introspection You're real pushy, but when your jewel is taken away, your beauty is touched by sadness Sometimes sending tears flying with a wild sha-la-Lu-la Looking at the shooting stars, it's simple We're all human Viva tears, it's okay for them to overflow, baby They're not wasted Can't stop, I love you like this Tears, tears, that's right Those tears, will you leave them to me? When you fall, get right back up again Let's go together! Tell me "This is the best" again Tears, tears, goodbye! Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Rejected.
Next? The alien discovery of the century has finally been captured.
And man, was it tough.
It shot beams from its eyes and flames from its mouth.
Avoiding anything and everything it shot out, I caught it unawares for a second and then karate chopped this Iriomote wildcat-like alien.
I've never heard of an alien like that.
That's why That's why it's the discovery of the century, baby! Rejected.
"Occasionally Even the Deceiver is Deceived, Baby" I told you we wouldn't get away with it.
If you hadn't been so clumsy, we would've been rolling in reward money by now.
Aw man, that made me hungry.
It's time to eat, everyone! Oh, perfect timing! What the heck is this? It's space food.
I got it through the galaxy mail orderâs phase difference space delivery service.
It came from 10,000 light-years away.
The galaxy mail-order is at the end of the universe, so it was especially cheap.
10,000 light-years? That means it expired 10,000 years ago, baby! Oh, but it's not the "consume by" date, it's the "sell by" date, so it might still be okay to eat.
Then you eat it! There's plenty left.
It was a "Buy 1, Get 365" special.
Wasn't it a great deal? This is terrible At times like this, there's nothing left to do but go to Boobies.
We don't have the money for that.
I've saved my secret weapon for times like these.
Take a look at this! What's that? You've filled up your point card.
Your next visit's on us! Even if we have no money, we can still enjoy Boobies with this.
Is that a Boobies point card? This is the fruit of my sweat and blood, going to Boobies, rain or shine baby.
You don't have anything better to do with your time? This guy's just a cat, after all.
But this card is only good until today.
Wh-What?! Hey, how many hours are left in "today"? Two hours and 30 minutes.
Where's the closest Boobies? There's one in Galaxy Mexico, District 3.
Full speed ahead! Charge the engines to 200%! It will lake us 2 hours and 40 minutes to get there.
We wonât make it.
Damn it! I guess there's no helping it.
We'll have to warp.
Huh? Didn't you say the warp device was broken, so you didn't want to use it? You fool! There are limes when a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.
It's taking too long! Ah, if you keep pushing the button Ow Hey, where are we? Analysis finished.
Location unknown.
Unable to detect living organisms.
Are there any? Hm It looks like there's oxygen.
I wasn't asking about that.
I wanted to know if there were any Boobies on this planet! C'mon, let's go back.
If we put out a distress signal, a rescue party might find us.
There might be a hidden Boobies somewhere around here.
None none there's no way none.
Even if there isn't a Boobies, there might be an alien that hasn't been recorded yet.
But there aren't even any signs of life, right? What, are you scared? Not really.
The pitcher's a scaredy cat! Hey, hey, hey.
I'm not scared, and I'm not even a pitcher.
There's nothing more pathetic than a man shaking in his boots.
What was that just now? Weren't you the most scared out of all of us? Somebody- Please, help me! Okay, I'll help you.
Hey, QT! Who're these guys? W-Wait a minute, please! Wh-What the heck are these guys? It looks like I'll have to go all out against you guys! Will you please slop doing that? What's this? Why isn't my beam working against them? Because you haven't hit them once.
It can't be helped.
In that case Run! Those guys were Ragians.
They have already been recorded.
So we wonât get any money even if we catch them, huh? Not like you could get them, anyway.
Um Thank you for saving me.
Wh-What's your name? My name is- I'm Meow.
This is completely off topic, but did you know that Betelgeuse is number one in consumption of bonito flakes? Don't know, don't care! Right? You guys are funny.
Wh-What are you two doing? My name is Mamitas.
When I tried to warp after shopping, I got caught in a space-time distortion and landed here My ship's broken, and I'm all alone.
I'm really scared You don't have to worry anymore.
I'll make sure you get home safe.
Or you can come to my place, if you prefer.
But the Aloha Oe is broken.
Is your spaceship's core system higher than version 5.
2, Mamitas? Yes.
We might be able to repair the Aloha Oe using parts from your ship.
We have finally been able to determine his location.
I will not tolerate any more failures.
Understand? Yes, sir.
The Seventh Fleet has completely surrounded the planet he is on.
Once we capture that Dandy, the universe will be ours, the Gogol Empire's! My spaceship is over there.
Oh, it's those guys again.
They sure are persistent.
I'll show you how to get there.
You should be fine if you go around this way.
I am going to land on this planet with the commander to capture that man.
Doctor, there is a problem.
There is an extremely scary alien on this planet.
What? A frightening alien that devours every living organism on the planet.
Hmm It's older than I thought, but there are a number of parts that look useable.
Oh, youâre an alien hunter? That's amazing! It's no big deal.
Some people say I laugh in the face of danger, though.
This is completely off topic, but are you a picky eater? I can eat anything.
- So you're omnivorous? - Yes.
Seriously? Me, too! You've filled up your point card.
! Your next visit's on us! - This guy really is just a cat.
- What? Your paints are only good for another flour.
Hurry up and come! Crap, I forgot, baby.
- QT, we need to escape from this planet in a hurry! - Cat Please, look at this.
It's the Deathgerian, the alien that has topped the list of "Aliens I Don't Want to Be Eaten By" for 12 straight years.
Cause when you meet one, that's it.
You'll be eaten for sure.
For sure? Yes, for sure.
Doctor, the commander hasn't arrived yet? Withdraw, Seventh Fleet! That was close If there's anything I don't want to be eaten by, it's this.
Oh, this one, this one! As long as we have this, the Aloha oe might start working again.
Huh? Meow? Mamitas? That bastard Damn it, you guys were still here? Persistent aliens aren't popular, you know.
See ya later! Huh? The battery's dead?! Could they be saying something? Maybe you could try the translator to see what they're saying.
It's dangerous! Hurry up and go home! The Deathgerian will eat ya! Deathgerian? Everyone who came on these ships was eaten by the Deathgerian.
Yeah, all you people come at us with guns even though we're just tryin' to warn ya.
Maybe these aliens aren't actually that bad.
These guvs? What's this about a Deathgerian? What're ya talking about? You were together the whole time! What? It's about time for the Deathgerian to get real hungry.
Y'all should run away, fast! Deathgerians transform when they get hungry.
Well, weâll be heading off first.
It can't be Cat Cat.
What? Aw, shucks.
Even you, Mamitas? I've never eaten one.
What? I said, I'm not a cat.
Mamitas? Meow! What's happening?! No way It's a buttload of boobs! B-B-Boobies! No! Please help me! Help me Meow! I'm coming! Wh-What?! The repairs won't be done in time.
All right, let's get out on the Little Aloha! Let's go! Is it all right if you don't save Meow? He might not be digested yet.
Farewell, Meow.
I will never forget you.
Wait, the Boobies point card! I think Meow had it.
Idiot! Have I ever abandoned a friend? You were about to just now.
QT, tell me about the Deathgerian.
Let's see.
Deathgerians are monsters who, when hungry, transform and devour everything around them.
In that case, we should transform, too.
What? It's finally time to use that.
What's "that"? Change! Hawaii-Yankee! What? This is the first I've heard of it! Let's go, Hawaii-Yankee! Take that! What? Hm? I wonder what's wrong? I see.
It's that expired space food from earlier.
She's feeling sick after eating it! What?! All right! One extra-large order, coming up! Good thing we didn't throw it away after all! Approved.
Yay! The reward was 99,000 woolongs! Even though we lost the point card, with this much money, we can still go to Boobies, baby! Wait, was it just the points we lost? I feel like we lost something else, too Oh.
"To be continued" Hey, Everett What am I like in your world? Let me take a peek Hey, Everett According to you, there are lots of different worlds I'm not sure I understand "Hi, Dandy" "Hello" "How are you doing?" Hey, Ph.
D.
The alternate worlds will always be parallel It's enough to blow my mind Oh, once it cools, it hardens When heated, it melts This world is so full of rules, it's gonna fall apart One dimension, two dimensions, three dimensions A supernova falling from west to east Easy Game, Easy Game, too Easy Game Going is fine, but what about coming home? Oh, the dream of a never-ending dream A melty, milky kiss How far will this world expand? Neshtime, on "Spaysh Danly" Wait, I can't understand what you're sayin Wha're you two doin Nechtime, "Sommtimes ya cant live wi' dyin' babee" "Next time: Sometimes You Can't Live With Dying, Baby"