Such Brave Girls (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

1
You know I'll support you,
whatever you choose,
even though I seriously don't think
you should keep it.
But it is my body.
Oh, totally.
Your body, your choice.
One choice is very clear, though.
Don't keep the baby.
Yeah. But it is up to me.
Oh, completely. Yeah.
Your choice -
to not have a baby.
I'm hearing you.
But it is my choice.
Totally, yeah. Your body.
One clear, obvious choice.
Yep.
My choice.
Getthat
..out of me!
Would you feel differently
if I told you it was twins?
THEY RETCH
SHE GASPS
As we're sure you know, you've had
lots of arrears notices,
and you've been late
on every single Look, Clive
I'm sure I've made the payment. Has
it not been credited to the account?
Must be something wrong
with the system.
Look, I don't want a fight.
I'm just doing my job.
Please hand the keys over.
No. Check the account again.
I can check again
but it's still the same.
Enjoy this, do you?
How do you sleep at night?
Not well, I hope.
Hello!
Right, then, go on.
Take 'em, take!
Just fucking go.
Who was that, then?
MOT service.
That's great. They come and collect?
I didn't know they could do that.
Yeah.
It's absolutely fantastic.
Seb wants to have sex.
Can you believe it?
In general, yes.
With you, no.
Just say you don't want to.
Just feels a bit confrontational.
Yeah, but you're gay.
Nah. Too hard.
This is easier.
What, hiding from Seb?
No, hiding from my feelings.
Mum's right -
I was playing with fire.
Seb loves me unconditionally.
Plus, he comes with me
to everything.
You could get a dog to do that.
Can I sleep in your room tonight?
No. You've made your bed.
Now go get fucked in it.
SEB SOBS
Not tonight. I'm sorry.
HE GROANS
There, there. But sex is supposed
to help you bond with your partner.
Well, that's not true.
I've been masturbating for years
and I couldn't hate myself more.
But don't you love me?
Yeah, course I do.
And you fancy me?
Absolutely.
Well
..prove it.
Would you like me
to take your clothes off?
No, thank you.
Would you like me
to take MY clothes off?
No, thank you.
Right. Well, I'm going to masturbate
in the toilet or I won't sleep.
Don't worry.
I'll I'll think about you.
I
I'm sorry I'm so virile.
I I really am.
Is Is there something
wrong with me?
Mm. Could be, yeah.
What? Am I? Am I a sex addict?
Oh, er, yeah. Maybe.
I would like to do it, though,
at some point.
But that's what an addict would say.
You're right.
It's It's disgusting.
I'll get therapy, I promise.
Seb wants to get therapy.
Can you believe it?
Oh, no. Are you jealous?
No, I'm in danger.
I can't have him working out the one
toxic thing in his life is me.
Not just in HIS life, Josie.
Seb is the plaster
holding this gaping wound shut.
I cannot afford to have
that plaster become sentient.
What am I going to do?
You're going to have
to have sex with him.
Maybe I could tell him it's not
feminist. He loves that shit.
Wanks his little willy off over it.
No, they've changed it.
We're supposed to love it now.
Fuck, seriously?!
I can't keep up with this stuff.
You've got two options.
Have sex with him,
or dump him, spread your wings
and enjoy some time alone.
Maybe I can learn to like it.
Do you like it?
No, obviously not.
Nobody does, Josie.
We're not meant to enjoy it.
That's not what it's for.
Ask literally any woman.
Not one of us actually likes dick.
It's not something you enjoy,
it's just something you get through.
Hmm.
Right, OK. Yeah, got it.
Hmm.
Something about this
doesn't feel quite right.
It feels like maybe
you could be doing this for me.
Seb, please. The patriarchy.
Right, yeah. Sorry.
Sorry, Emmeline Pankhurst.
Look at me. I'm revolting.
I need orgasms.
I mean, they're really nice.
I want to keep on having them
and that's an addiction,
and I need help.
Orwhat if we make a deal?
Like a sex deal?
Yeah, like
..I give you a hand job on Fridays?
Three hand jobs a week.
Full sex once at the weekend.
No sex.
Two hand jobs a week
Mondays and Wednesdays?
OK.
And on special occasions?
Yeah. Deal.
Are you sure you don't want
to finish me off?
I don't want to violate
the terms of the contract.
Right, yeah.
Looking forward to tomorrow, then.
What? Why?
Oh, for f
Happy birthday, Josie.
It's a privilege to be here
on such a special occasion.
VERY special occasion.
We did wonder what to get you.
What do you get the girl
that's got everything?
So we asked the person
that knows you best.
You're welcome.
It's from both of us.
Thanks.
Straighteners?
Yeah! Because you broke
the last ones, didn't you?
Hmm, no, you broke yours.
Oh, fucking hell. If you don't
want it, I'll have it, then!
Ungrateful bitch.
Er, Deb, small problemo.
Run out of juice.
Well, you could just pop out
and get some? Oh, don't worry.
No, I'll make do
until you go shopping again.
But could you get Tropicana?
I'm sure they water
this cheap stuff down.
So, birthday girl!
Where are we going for dinner, then?
Are we going out for dinner?
I assumed we would.
That's sort of what you do
on your birthday, isn't it?
Of course we are.
Nothing is too good for my girls.
I do treat you well.
I just wish someone would look
after me the way I look after them.
Absolutely!
Really?
Yes, of course.
You work so hard.
It's the least you deserve.
Oh, I'm a little bit excited.
I think Dev's going to take us
to dinner!
Yes!
Remember? Tropicana!
SHE GROANS
SHE COUGHS
Can I have the afternoon off?
I'm not feeling very well.
Oh, right. What with?
An abortion.
Billie Johnson?
Why are you here, birthday princess?
The rota says you booked today off.
I'm hiding from my boyfriend.
I'm contractually obligated
to give him a hand job.
Hmm.
That doesn't feel very consensh.
You can't report societal
pressure to the police, Claire.
This is my cross to bear.
But you could break up with him.
No. Not worth it.
I'm confused. I thought you said
that you were a lesbian.
We don't know that for sure.
Boys are easier,
cos I don't feel anything.
Girls stir up all
these weird special feelings.
What? Like love?
No. Like fear.
I feel safe with Seb.
I'm not scared of him.
And coming from a loveless
background, popping my sexuality
to one side just feels like
a small price to pay.
Are you really that afraid
of being alone?
Do you ever get home to an empty
house after a long day at work,
get your comfy PJs on, make
some nice dinner, watch some TV,
and think,
"Why don't I just kill myself?"
No.
PHONE CHIMES
How are you feeling?
Yeah, fine.
I just need to not think
about babies for a while.
You might need to wear these.
Nappies?
Adult incontinence pants, yeah.
Thanks.
Happy birthday.
Your present is you not
being an aunt. Congratulations.
How was it?
I mean, it was an abortion.
It wasn't a weekend at Glastonbury.
They wheeled me in vagina-first
and five men fiddled with my nunny
when I was unconscious.
It's a bit like Glastonbury, then.
Oh, yeah.
Nicky!
Phew!
So, I've asked about spice levels.
Should be fine.
Oh, you said it was fancy.
You look just like James Bond!
I've got a licence to kill.
But I won't use it.
What a gentleman.
Josie. No Thanks, darling.
Hmm.
Well, this is all Greek to me.
Because it's a Greek restaurant!
Can everyone know what
they're going to order, please?
I don't want any delays
when the waiter gets here
because me and Josie have
some alone time booked later
that just can't wait.
Yeah, but no rush, OK?
It's my birthday
and I'd like to enjoy it.
I think I'm going to get the lamb
with a side of "coo-coo".
I always thought that was couscous.
No, it's definitely coo-coo.
You're so fucking clever.
You're clever too, Josie.
In your own way.
Thanks.
Maybe I can make us
some of this stuff
when we get our place in Manchester?
Maybe a cheeky little linguini
in our flat. Yeah?
What's happening in Manchester?
Nicky's going to be head
cocktail-maker at Smirnoff
and open Manchester's first ice bar.
Billie Bar.
We're still thinking about the name.
Well, that sounds amazing.
Sounds impractical.
Oooh, what shall I have, Dev?
Perhaps the steak and the lobster?
And maybe a pina colada?
You can get whatever you like!
Hmm
..what do I want? What DO I want?
There's so much choice. Too much
choice, actually. I'm a bit scared.
I think I need more time
to assess my options.
Gosh, Josie, you're so thorough!
You know, if you carry on like this,
we'll be here till midnight!
Can I hear the specials again?
How slow-cooked
is the slow-cooked vegetables?
And the erm, the steak
that's well done -
is there anything more
than well done?
Fuck's sake, Josie! We know you're
going to get chips! Hurry up.
Just the chips, please.
So, how did you two lovebirds meet?
We met at the club.
He showed me how straight a line
he could draw without a ruler.
It was really straight.
It was really fucking straight.
So hot.
What's that?
It's
..a nappy.
Why are you wearing a nappy?
What, do you not like me
wearing a nappy?
Er, I'm just not really into
that whole sexy baby thing.
I guess I'll go take it off, then.
OK.
I must say,
I am surprised you're still here,
but it is great that you are.
I thought you might immediately take
off after Billie got the abortion.
I'm just going to go
check on Billie.
OK. Right.
He is so great.
Oh, yeah, he's great. He's amazing.
Can you slow down?
If you eat this quickly,
it's terrible for your digestion.
Chew. Chew.
It's not a race.
You're right. I want to be fit
as a fiddle for tonight.
Where's Nicky?
Don't know. Toilet?
I hope he hurries up.
It's nearly time to get back.
What time does this place shut?
Maybe we should go somewhere
afterwards?
Can't get any bloody ketchup out!
Let me have a go.
Josie's good at that.
What's the trick again, Josie?
Oh! Sorry.
Josie, you're making this lovely
meal very difficult to enjoy.
We really should wait
for Nicky to get back.
It's only polite. Yeah, thank you!
At least someone's got
some manners around here.
Ever heard of etiquette?
Yes, Seb. Very straight.
Seriously, where the fuck is Nicky?
Nicky? Hello? Nicky!
That's so weird.
He's been great tonight.
I don't know why he would take off.
We had such a good chat.
I told him how amazing he's been
since you had your abortion.
What?
I just said he's been
really supportive and kind
since you had your abortion.
I've not fucking told him I had one.
Why would you not tell him?
He's been so nice.
Because he was being nice to me
so I'd get the fucking abortion!
Oh, right.
That does make sense.
Right, I'm going. Sit down, Billie.
I need to find Nicky.
He's gone, love. This is the longest
we've ever seen him for.
I don't even know how you managed
to get him here tonight.
Is he on drugs?
I think he was, yeah.
I need to go and find him.
He wouldn't do this to me.
I think he probably would.
He wouldn't leave. He wouldn't.
He loves me.
All right. Well, let's give him
the benefit of the doubt.
He might not have left.
He's obviously fucking left, Dev!
How dare you speak
to James Bond like that!
Sorry, Mr Bond.
Your sister knows
how to keep her man.
You should be more like her.
Oh, Josie's a lesbian!
# Happy birthday to you
# Happy birthday to you
# Happy birthday, dear Josie
# Happy birthday to you! #
ErJosie's not gay.
She's obviously straight.
She's about as straight
as this fucking line, Seb.
Well, she's always talking
about men she fancies.
Oh, really? OK.
Josie, name a single man you fancy.
Come on. Any man will do.
James Bond?
Well, you can't have him. He's mine.
I really thought
you were going to say me.
What, has he really gone?
Just Just tell me the truth.
It's all right, I promise.
I'm sorry.
Josie! Please, control yourself.
Honestly, this is the thanks
I get for loving both you too much.
LINE RINGS
This is your fault,
you snivelling little rat.
Maybe we can't force people
to be with us, you know.
Some people say
if you love someone, let them go,
and just trust they'll come back.
Yeah, right. Like Dad.
I'm not falling for that again.
Listen, Josie,
we have to do everything in our
fucking power to lock people down.
If you love someone, hold on to them
for dear life and grip so hard
until you fuse with their body
like a human fucking centipede.
Billie, you're hurting me.
Sorry.
You'll need that
for your hand job later.
Just me and my boys.
I'll say it.
I did not like that guy.
I'd never leave like that.
I know you wouldn't, darling.
You're family.
I'll just go and check on the girls.
Do you like having orgasms?
Er
Hmm.
Yes.
Yes, I think so.
So, are you a sex addict too?
His icon's disappeared.
My messages only have one tick.
What do you think that means?
I think it means you've been
Don't say it!
..blocked.
He wouldn't do this.
He wouldn't block me.
Who's going to hand out
topless shots at Billie Bar?
He took me to the fair last week.
It was so romantic.
Does that sound like a man
that wants to leave me?
I think he was trying
to give you a miscarriage.
What, even on the dodgems?
Especially on the dodgems.
Right, well, you need
to help me, then.
Why? Cos I'm going to kill myself.
What's your plan?
Hold me down
till the last bubble pops.
WATER SPLASHES
SHE GURGLES
What has happened to this family?
We used to be so open
and honest with each other.
A real unit.
No, we didn't.
You always hurt the ones
you love the most.
That's why you're doing this to me.
Anything I can do?
This is actually a bit
of a private conversation, Dev.
Anything you say to me
you can say to him.
OK. Erm, Billie's had an abortion
but she was keeping it a secret
because Nicky's being really nice
to her, and now she's been blocked.
I'll just
There he goes. 007 himself.
Why didn't you tell me?
About what? The abortion
or Josie being gay?
The abortion. We all know
Josie thinks she's gay.
You know I'm gay? Yeah,
you think you're gay - for now.
Why didn't you tell me, Billie?
You think they're common.
They ARE common.
WE'RE common.
What the fuck were you going
to do with a baby?
Well, maybe I would have been
good at it.
Yeah, I thought that too,
but look at Josie.
Sorry.
That is a very delicate,
sensitive man out there.
We cannot afford to spook him off.
For fuck's sake, look at yourselves.
Josie thinks she's gay
and you just tried to kill yourself
with a toilet.
You both need to grow up.
I did. I did the grown-up thing
and he left anyway.
Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't help you with that.
My man is waiting.
Do you think
I would have been a good mum?
Of course.
Would I have been a MILF?
Yeah.
With big milky milkers?
OK.
Thank you.
That's a good one.
All sorted.
What did I missJames?
I was just getting the waitress.
Hello?
HE LAUGHS
I'm sorry. It always used
to make Lisa laugh.
There you go.
SEB: I'm ready! Are you coming?
In a second.
OK.
Bring tissues!
I love you.
I love you too.
Are you having a nice birthday?
Yes.
It's absolutely fantastic.
SEB SIGHS
OK.
I'm with a girl. She's got
short hair, masculine energy.
Her name is Sid.
No. No.
She's a pretty girl.
She's got long hair.
Her name is
..Jennifer.
Now we're talking about her mum
dying and my dad leaving,
and how that might have damaged
our attachment styles.
Do you take her top off?
I'd have to ask.
She said it's OK.
What's she wearing underneath?
A binder.
OK, yeah. Stop.
I lost it.