Summer Heights High (2007) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
Alright, we'll try it out.
Switch me on.
This is new.
Rodney's rigged it up for me.
Boys, stop playing with balls near the windows, please.
You know you can't do that.
Thank you.
I'm up here.
It's me.
I'm in my what I call my search phase at the moment, where I, um this is where I come up with my ideas for my musicals.
I seek inspiration, I look around, take things in.
About four years ago, I did a show called 'Downloadin", which was a musical about a computer that falls in love with its owner.
And I came up with that idea simply from sitting at home in front of my computer and thinking, "Oh, imagine if that computer fell in love with me.
" Absolutely brilliant.
My wife's favourite show.
Switch me on.
Madeleine, don't walk past rubbish, please.
Pick it up.
Yes.
In the bin.
And you can lose 40 house points for that.
Alright, switch me off.
I pride myself on being able to come up with songs in a in a flash.
I usually I say to people, " Give me a word and I'll give you a song.
" And I come up with something, um Yeah, actually, give me a word and I'll come up with something.
See what we get.
Playground.
# Playground play # Come and play in the playground # Playground.
# Give me a give me some I'll do a rhyming one this time.
Give me, like, a sentence.
Watching a DVD at your house.
OK, here we go.
Actually, put me on.
# Rodney's coming over to watch a DVD # Who's cooking dinner? # Not me.
# And that's how it usually is when you come over, isn't it? I never cook.
Ooh, switch me off.
Please.
Piss off, Year 7 s.
If you are in Year 7, you should not be here.
Piss off.
Yeah, tomorrow we've got junior school dance.
It's, like, this gay-ass, you know, bloody barn dance shit.
Barn dancing.
Polka and shit.
You learn to polka and shit.
Polka and shit.
All the shit that you learn at school.
They do free dance at the end And we were the best.
where they play music and you can do whatever style dancing you want.
Yeah, free dance.
And we hit the floor and started breaking.
We should do that.
We should do that this year, boys.
Piss off, Year 7 s! Not even Islander Year 7 s can be here! Fuck off! Keiran thinks he's the best fucking breaker in the whole school.
But he can't breakdance for shit.
He doesn't even know basic moves, he just makes shit up.
He's a little homo who thinks he can break, but he can't.
Go, Keiran.
My name's Keiran and I started at Summer Heights at the beginning of this term.
I've been breakdancing for about four years now and I reckon I'm pretty good at it.
And I like showing off and entertaining people.
I got into State champs too, last year.
Won for my age level.
Oh, yeah, the junior school dance should be good.
If I get to break, it will be good.
Do it in front of crowds.
I got big crowds at the State champs.
It just made me perform better.
That would be the worst.
'Cause then it's, like What would you choose? Giant tits or or fat with no tits? Look, I think I'd say giant tits because Giant tits, yeah.
What am I thinking? Would you ever go out with a fat guy? Yeah.
No way! No offence, but I seriously hate all fat people.
Would you ever go out with public school? Public school for sure.
Yeah, the same.
'Cause they are actually hot.
I think, like, the fact that they're hot kind of cancels out the fact that they're public.
Like, I think the biggest thing also is, like, age difference.
Yeah.
Like, how much older they are.
How random.
Hey, when I was in Year 10, I went out with a Year 11 guy.
Are you serious? I know.
Yeah.
It was full-on.
Everyone at school was freaking out.
When Holly was in Year 9 Can I tell? Yeah.
Tell us! When she was in Year 9, she was going out with this guy, like, three years older than her.
Her brother's friend.
Oh, my God.
I was mature for my age.
There's where I live, there's this, like, 1 st-year uni student who went out with a Year 6 girl.
Oh, my God! No, that is disgusting.
No, I'm only joking.
I'm only joking.
I was just seeing if you believe me.
Guys, this might sound really random, but I think some of the Year 7 s are hot at this school.
Oh, my God, they're, like, 12 years old, Ja'mie.
Have a look at them, seriously! They have small Like, you can tell they're gonna be hot when they get older.
Yeah, like Josh's brother.
Josh's brother's hot as.
What about the little guy with the, um he's got, like, the shaggy mullet and he wears the wristbands? Oh, that's Sebastian Perrone.
Sebastian Perrone! He is hot.
I'm in love with Sebastian.
Yeah, he's kinda cute.
He's cute.
I saw him on my first day here.
He's cute.
And the Year 7 s totally flirt with me.
Have you noticed? They're always like, "Oh, Ja'mie.
" Like, you know they've got those really high voices? You 're, like, their hero, of course.
They would idolise you.
I know, they're totally into me.
Yeah.
They're hot.
Like, seriously.
You seriously need to see the school counsellor.
It's disgusting.
Have a look at the Year 7 s next time.
They're cute, but, like, put them on lay-by or something.
They're not cute, they're hot.
Holly, you know, she's kinda right.
I would, like, seriously consider going out with one.
Are you serious? I'm dead serious.
I'm starting to Yeah.
Why don't you just ask him out? Well, maybe I will.
Yeah, maybe I'll go on a date.
It's a baseball shirt, you fuck.
Look at you boys.
Where'd you get this shit from? Where'd you get this shit from? Hey, miss! See you at junior dance! Ah, you 're looking good, boys.
I'll see you there! She thinks we look good.
Look at my shoes.
Look at my shoes.
This is fucking gangsta.
What's this shit? Holy crap, what's this, bro? Get the fuck off.
Oh, come! It's not come.
Oh, yuck, bro.
Come on your pants, bro! It's just milk or some shit.
Were you thinking of Ms Murray? What did you do this morning? It's just yoghurt or some shit.
Shut up.
You 're just jealous.
Can I see? Yuck, he touched it, bro! Don't touch it.
It's come out of my dick! So you admit it! So what if I spoofed on my pants?! So fucking what? Oh, he said it! It looks good anyway! I bet you I get some good comments about it today.
He touches himself every day.
Girls like this shit.
I dare you to go up to Miss Wheatley, ask her what it is, man.
Miss Wheatley wouldn't know what it was.
Just ask her.
She wouldn't know.
She's never seen it before.
She's not married.
So? So? Just ask her.
Just ask Miss Wheatley, "Hey, miss, know what this stain is?" Are you really gonna do it? Yeah.
Jonah, don't do it.
Jonah, don't do it.
It's stupid.
I wanna do it.
You don't even know what this is, Ofa.
No, don't do it.
A dollar.
A dollar I'll do it.
A dollar? A dollar each.
Fuck you, motherfucker! Your shirt's all dirty.
Can I have a go? I know it's really random, but can I have a go? Oh, sorry.
Ja'mie's decided that she actually wants to go out with Sebastian Perrone, and so she is over there totally flirting with him right now.
She's seriously flirting with him so bad.
I've got the best phone.
Oh, really? It's a BlackBerry.
Who wants it? I do, I do! Oh, my God, you guys are so random! Go back to your games! Go back to your games.
I'm not interested anymore.
They so idolise her.
They are obsessed with her.
They totally want her so badly.
Understandably, though.
She's so hot, so The idea is, she really wants to be, like, the first Year 11 girl to go out with a Year 7 student.
So, are there, like, Year 7 parties and stuff? Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you ever invite older girls? They are seriously, like, flirting so badly.
I know, I know.
It's almost embarrassing.
Oh, man, you must be exhausted.
You guys do so much, like, physical stuff.
Yeah.
I reckon they would make a cute couple.
Yeah.
Definitely.
'Bye, Sebastian.
He said yes.
Yes! So he knew what I wanted straightaway.
He was really into it.
We've got a lunch date.
Yeah, just lunchtime.
Where are you gonna go? I dunno.
I said meet me at the canteen.
What's a good where's a good place? Um, basketball courts.
All the couples go there.
Yes! Oh, my God.
It's gonna be so good.
You can watch sport then too.
He's so cute.
He's, like, way hotter close up.
Oh, my God, he's got the best skin.
He's actually really hot.
And his nose is so cute.
I have got the most massive butterflies in my stomach right now.
It's gonna be so cool! I can't wait! Get a spot, get a spot.
Hello, everybody.
I'm sorry to drag you away from what you 've been doing.
I have some really very unpleasant news to share with you.
Last night one of our Year 11 students apparently overdosed with ecstasy and, tragically, was found dead this morning.
Now, the student is Annabel Dickson of Year 11.
Now, I know that many of you know her and she was a very well-liked, very popular student in this school.
Uh, the students are going to be, obviously, quite distressed.
The department is sending out extra counsellors to offer help in the last two periods of the day.
This tragic incident will obviously lead to a lot of media attention, so, for obvious reasons, I ask you not to make any comment to anyone.
Now, what I'm going to suggest is that we might have a moment's silence for Annabel.
Thank you very much for coming now.
Who is she? I can't picture her.
Did you teach her? Yeah.
Yeah, last year, science.
She was absolutely beautiful.
Was she a slightly tubby girl? No.
No, that's Trisha Marshall.
So, blonde or brown hair? Blonde.
Oh, God, it's gonna do my head in.
I can't picture her at all.
There must be a photo around somewhere of her in the school.
So, there's gonna be media attention.
Oh, my God.
This is terrible.
This is freaking me out.
This is a new one.
Well, it seems that any time we extend our trust to Jonah, he will inevitably abuse it.
I was only showing her 'cause I wasn't sure what it was.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, what I think, Jonah, is you intentionally provoked Miss Wheatley by showing her the stains and then asking her what they were, right? Now I want you out of those pants and into something clean.
Get yourself changed.
No way, sir! I've got the junior dance on.
You are lucky you are still going.
I could still ban you from it if you 're gonna give me any more trouble, alright? Just get yourself changed.
Fucking gay.
So, do you get, like, electives in Year 7 or Uh, no, you choose electives in Year 9.
Oh, cool.
Year 7's such a random year.
Mmm.
So, what music are you into? Hip-hop and rock and stuff.
Same! I'm so into hip-hop.
Oh, my God, we've got so much in common.
I love your wristbands.
They're so cute.
Where'd you get 'em? Um, $2 shop.
They're cool.
The colours are really good.
They really work with the uniform.
'Gnarly' and 'peace'.
I LOVE peace.
Are you into peace? Yeah.
I would never go out with a guy that wasn't into peace.
I love your personality, Sebastian.
You 're just so out there.
How'd you hurt your knee? Oh, I was playing soccer with my friends.
Oh, my God! You fell over? Yeah.
Oh, so cute.
Ties are so random.
Don't you reckon? Yeah.
What are they? They're, like, just fabric.
I know.
So weird.
So, do you have any fat people in your family? Nah.
'Cause you know how, like, you get skinny kids and then they end up being really fat when they're older? OK.
The school has very definite procedures for dealing with any antisocial sexual behaviour.
And, I've gotta say, I think Jonah is quite confused about what is appropriate sexually.
Now, Jonah, Mr Peterson has told me that you 've had a bit of an accident today.
Is there anything you 'd like to tell me? No.
OK.
Do you ever have wet dreams, Jonah? No, miss.
You don't? No.
Do you know what wet dreams are? Yes, I do.
Do you ever think of Miss Wheatley in a sexual way? No.
She's ugly, miss.
So, what, like, attracted you to me? Like, what made you wanna go out with me? Your personality.
Really? Did you think I was hot when you saw me in the playground and stuff? Yeah.
It was pretty obvious from the way you were acting.
So, what do you wanna know about me? Um have you gone out with any other guys? Yeah, I've had 11 actual boyfriends and I've pashed, like, 135 guys.
Mmm.
Yeah.
What about you? I've never had a girlfriend before.
Oh, my God, it's so cute! So I'll be your first.
That's so cute.
I love your hair.
It's so I love it.
So do you wanna, like do you wanna go out? Like, officially go out? Alright.
Really? Oh, my God, are you serious? Do you wanna go out? That is so cool, Sebastian.
Oh, my God.
That's awesome.
So, like, we'll take it slow at first.
Like, I don't want to get hurt or anything.
Um give me your phone number.
Have you got your phone? Yeah.
I'll give you my number.
I've got a BlackBerry.
Oh, that's, like, the best phone.
Yeah, I know.
They're so cool.
I'd let you borrow it, but it's worth three grand and my dad will get pissed off.
There you go.
There you go.
Ooh.
Cool phone number.
Take a photo of me and put it on your screen thing so it comes up when I call.
Show me.
Hot! That's hot as.
Oh, my God.
I'll take some photos of you.
Hot.
Look at that - full body.
Just thinking about Annabel.
Just take your time.
Well, today has just rocked everyone's world.
And we're all in shock.
Just a reminder, I've got some tissues here if anyone needs them.
I worked out who Annabel is, or was.
And it turns out she was very good friends with a couple of my Year 11 drama girls.
So, yeah, that's it's been quite a a cool little connection there.
So who's been to her house? Did you guys ever go to her house? Yeah.
This is a photo of Annabel that I stole from the front office.
Um as you can see, she's a beautiful young girl.
So that's disappointing that she's done what she did.
It will be on the news tonight, I reckon.
That will be good.
Well, no, it's not good.
I spoke to her head teacher in the staffroom and apparently she was quite known for partying quite hard.
And she was into the drinking and the drugs.
And, um yeah, so there's a lot of rumours out there.
Is it true that she was anorexic? She was into the boys in a big way.
Um she was what the kids would call a slut.
Which is a terrible thing to say about someone who's just died, but, um apparently, there's no denying she was one.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Heel and toe, heel and toe.
One, two, three, four.
Heel and toe, heel and toe.
Back two, three, four.
Shut up.
I had to see the nurse.
You look so gay, bro.
You fucking your mother's gay! Fuck you! Why don't you kill yourself, Thomas? Heel and toe.
Back two, three Where's Keiran? He's over there.
Over there with Sophie.
Yeah, she looks hot.
She might like your spicy hotpants.
You might like my fucking fist, homo! Hey, Jonah, come and have a dance! Fuck off, miss! Hardly the words of a gentleman, Jonah.
Sorry, miss.
You boys ready for free dance? Yeah, mate.
We're gonna shit over the Year 7 s.
Jonah and the Islander boys, come on, please.
You 're required to dance.
It's bullshit, miss! There's not enough girls to make pairs.
Well, make pairs amongst yourselves.
Come on.
Please, Jonah.
Come on, you guys.
Up you get.
We're not dancing like homos.
Leon, you dance with Ofa.
She's a girl.
Oh, please! She's fat! Come on.
Up you get, Ofa.
Please! Yeah, you have to dance with her.
You could at least go and talk to some girls.
Touch her, Leon! Touch her boobies.
Put your hands around her! Ja'mie and Sebastian are totally acting like a couple now.
They're so cute.
They're so cute together.
It's really weird, like, they're so perfect together.
They play handball together, they go to the canteen together, they just do EVERYTHING - like, they're inseparable.
Are we going to the canteen, or what? Yeah.
They're really genuine.
Like, they actually really want to see each other.
Can you guys let me off for that one? Three-chance rule for girls.
And they just look so cute together.
Like, you don't even notice, like, the age difference.
You just see, like, this adorable, loving kind of couple.
It's really weird, 'cause they're, like, they're just perfect together.
I'm SO into him.
Really? Do you reckon is it love yet? It's not like deep love, but it's definitely love.
Really? Yep.
I knew you would love him.
I was on the phone to him last night for, like, three hours.
Really? Yeah, he's so funny.
Is the early stage weird, though? Yeah.
Does it look like it? A little bit.
He looks a little bit uncomfortable.
But only a little bit.
Like, I keep going to hold his hand and he's, like, freaking out and he doesn't want to.
It takes a long time for guys to warm up to girls.
Like, to touch them and stuff.
Guys never want to touch you.
Oh, he's so into you, Ja'mie.
Can you tell? I think it's such a cool thing you 've done now.
We're meeting at the gate - we're gonna walk home together and I'm gonna meet his mum.
Yeah.
I love him.
Meeting the parents already.
I'm SO into him.
That's a big step.
Do you reckon he's actually the one, though? Is he the one? Um yep, I reckon he's the one.
Now, that's the end of the formal dance section.
Now we're going to go on to the freestyle dance section.
Now, find a bit of space, and remember no silly behaviour will be tolerated.
Do you understand? This is shit music! Miss, this is homo music! Put some hip-hop on! Fuck you, Keiran.
Want a fucking challenge? Do you want a fucking challenge? Beat that, motherfucker.
Jonah, come here! I didn't do anything, sir.
Right, Jonah, you 're out.
I'm not jealous of that boy.
Why are you jealous of I'm not jealous of him.
That way.
I didn't do anything.
He fucking provoked me.
You promised me, Jonah.
He provoked me! You just can't Oh, Jesus.
Elaine, be still, please.
Well, my epiphany came at recess this morning and I've been on cloud nine ever since.
I've just I've strapped myself to the beast and I've been writing music and lyrics, and I'm basically, I've come up with a concept for my new musical.
And it's about the one and only Annabel Dickson.
Annabel's story is perfect for musical interpretation.
# Annabel, Annabel, Annabel # I wanna get to the truth of Annabel - who she is, you know, how she became a drug addict.
Cover the binge-drinking, the the sleeping around, the anorexia.
# Annabel # You 're a slut.
# So, I can't think of a better way to commemorate a student's life than to write a musical about them.
# Annabel Dickson # When girls take drugs and then they die # Who would have thought at Summer Heights High? # On days like these # It's a Bummer Heights High # There'll be a lot of media interest in the story, of course, so Which means more audience, which means more money for the Gregson Performing Arts Centre.
So we're all happy.
# She's a party girl # With a bad habit # A bad habit for drugs # She's a slut and she knows it # She wants to root all the boys # She can't help taking the drugs on a Saturday night # She's been sent by an angel to give me an idea for a musical.
And if it wasn't for her, then this show wouldn't be going ahead, so I'm just over the moon.
You 're seriously going to be OK? Do you want me to come? I'm gonna be fine.
I'm gonna meet the little shit at the bottom gate.
Seriously, I can come with you.
He's such a fucking 12-year-old arsehole.
Yeah.
It's OK.
It's gonna be alright.
Just confront him.
Where have you been? Class.
Do you know why I wanted to meet you here? No.
Where's your phone? You don't know where your phone is, do you? Because I've got it.
The reason I stole your phone was to check, before I made a massive commitment to you, that you were not cheating on me.
I open your 'sent' box and what do I find? Four messages to Madeleine.
She's just my friend.
Who the fuck is she? She's my friend.
Friends do not write two text messages in an hour saying, "See you in English.
" "Save me a seat.
" I don't know why I trusted a Year 7! I don't know what you want from me.
Seriously.
Like, I'm committed to you, OK? I'm, like, obsessed with you.
I've got a compilation CD in my bag that I was gonna give you on the way home as a surprise.
I've got you as my background on my MySpace site.
Have you got nothing to say? You 're not gonna say anything? I want you to swear on our relationship that you will never ever cheat on me again - swear.
I don't want to.
Swear on our relationship! I don't want to.
Do it! Don't want to.
You 're a fucking idiot.
Why would you do this to me?! Look at me - I'm fucking hot! You could have had everything.
You could have had all of this.
You just fucking threw it away with your stupid, stupid text messaging.
You 're just a You 're just an arsehole, Sebastian! Do you want your phone back? 'Cause you 're not gonna get it.
I'm gonna keep it.
I'm confiscating it.
Give me my phone back.
Nah.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Give me my phone back.
You 're not getting it back.
Give me my phone back.
Get on your stupid fucking bike and get out, 'cause I'm sick of you.
You can take your fucking phone and go home.
I'll fucking hate you forever.
You 're a fucking arsehole! And thanks for breaking my heart, you fuckwit.
I dumped him! Oh, my God! Come and sit down.
Sit down, sit down.
He cheated on me.
Boys are so immature.
It's OK.
He's made me feel less hot.
Ja'mie, seriously, don't let him ruin what you are.
You are so gorgeous.
Am I hot? Yes.
You are too good for him, Ja'mie.
Am I hot? Yes.
You 're so beautiful.
And, frankly, I'm left wondering whether it's worthwhile me organising these sort of things for the kids.
What have you got to say to yourself? Can't even dance without fucking it up.
Don't worry, I'll give him a hiding tonight.
Let's go.
We'll leave that with you.
Look what you 're bloody wearing.
You look like a poof.
Shut up.
Don't call me a poof.
The great thing about this is you 've got drugs, you 've got youth suicide, you 've got anorexia, you 're dealing with all 'youth' issues.
The kids can connect with it, can relate to it.
The school is in for an amazing experience.
I now have a show that is so important and so now.
The show will be set at Summer Heights High, so we'll have, you know, familiar characters.
We'll touch on my involvement in Annabel's life, as one of her teachers.
Margaret's quietly confident.
And she's usually got a good eye for the next big thing, so she seems very pumped.
My only issue is I want it to be done tastefully and not to exploit her.
We're on the same page with that, then, Margaret.
# She can't help being a slut # On a Saturday night # # Ecstasy, ecstasy E, E, E, E # Maybe we can donate the proceeds to the family or, you know, a youth charity.
No, that's where you 're wrong.
We're going to put the money into the performing arts centre, back into the drama department that she loved so much.
# On days like these it's a Bummer Heights High # I've got a feeling this musical could be my finest moment.
# Bummer Heights High # That Annabel died.
# She accidentally sent it.
Find some new friends.
Build a bridge and get over it.
They've gone around the whole school telling everyone I'm a bitch.
Why would I want to be friends with you, lesbian curly-haired bitch? Stop being a fucking cow! "Ooh, look at my fringe.
Ooh, Asian, Asian.
" Why don't you go fuck yourself, public school bitch? Mum, it's me! I'm really upset.
I am not saying sorry.
I've got Jonah on an anger management course.
Get fucked.
I know how to manage my fucking anger.
Fuck you, miss.
Not you.
Write, "Do you like my dick?" Put him next to good students, he copies their work.
What do you think this is, idiot? Probably have to call your father.
We've asked you here to address this issue.
Just stop doing what you 're doing.
We're in audition week.
I really want to recreate the atmosphere of an inner city nightclub.
You 've got a face like a bloody horse! How's that making you feel, boys? # I'm a naughty girl # With a bad habit # You 're in the show, everyone! Hug me! I'm a fucking private school girl.
Guys, I can't breathe.
Stick your fucking cup of tea up your arse.
How do you spell "fuck him up"? # At Summer Heights High.
#
Switch me on.
This is new.
Rodney's rigged it up for me.
Boys, stop playing with balls near the windows, please.
You know you can't do that.
Thank you.
I'm up here.
It's me.
I'm in my what I call my search phase at the moment, where I, um this is where I come up with my ideas for my musicals.
I seek inspiration, I look around, take things in.
About four years ago, I did a show called 'Downloadin", which was a musical about a computer that falls in love with its owner.
And I came up with that idea simply from sitting at home in front of my computer and thinking, "Oh, imagine if that computer fell in love with me.
" Absolutely brilliant.
My wife's favourite show.
Switch me on.
Madeleine, don't walk past rubbish, please.
Pick it up.
Yes.
In the bin.
And you can lose 40 house points for that.
Alright, switch me off.
I pride myself on being able to come up with songs in a in a flash.
I usually I say to people, " Give me a word and I'll give you a song.
" And I come up with something, um Yeah, actually, give me a word and I'll come up with something.
See what we get.
Playground.
# Playground play # Come and play in the playground # Playground.
# Give me a give me some I'll do a rhyming one this time.
Give me, like, a sentence.
Watching a DVD at your house.
OK, here we go.
Actually, put me on.
# Rodney's coming over to watch a DVD # Who's cooking dinner? # Not me.
# And that's how it usually is when you come over, isn't it? I never cook.
Ooh, switch me off.
Please.
Piss off, Year 7 s.
If you are in Year 7, you should not be here.
Piss off.
Yeah, tomorrow we've got junior school dance.
It's, like, this gay-ass, you know, bloody barn dance shit.
Barn dancing.
Polka and shit.
You learn to polka and shit.
Polka and shit.
All the shit that you learn at school.
They do free dance at the end And we were the best.
where they play music and you can do whatever style dancing you want.
Yeah, free dance.
And we hit the floor and started breaking.
We should do that.
We should do that this year, boys.
Piss off, Year 7 s! Not even Islander Year 7 s can be here! Fuck off! Keiran thinks he's the best fucking breaker in the whole school.
But he can't breakdance for shit.
He doesn't even know basic moves, he just makes shit up.
He's a little homo who thinks he can break, but he can't.
Go, Keiran.
My name's Keiran and I started at Summer Heights at the beginning of this term.
I've been breakdancing for about four years now and I reckon I'm pretty good at it.
And I like showing off and entertaining people.
I got into State champs too, last year.
Won for my age level.
Oh, yeah, the junior school dance should be good.
If I get to break, it will be good.
Do it in front of crowds.
I got big crowds at the State champs.
It just made me perform better.
That would be the worst.
'Cause then it's, like What would you choose? Giant tits or or fat with no tits? Look, I think I'd say giant tits because Giant tits, yeah.
What am I thinking? Would you ever go out with a fat guy? Yeah.
No way! No offence, but I seriously hate all fat people.
Would you ever go out with public school? Public school for sure.
Yeah, the same.
'Cause they are actually hot.
I think, like, the fact that they're hot kind of cancels out the fact that they're public.
Like, I think the biggest thing also is, like, age difference.
Yeah.
Like, how much older they are.
How random.
Hey, when I was in Year 10, I went out with a Year 11 guy.
Are you serious? I know.
Yeah.
It was full-on.
Everyone at school was freaking out.
When Holly was in Year 9 Can I tell? Yeah.
Tell us! When she was in Year 9, she was going out with this guy, like, three years older than her.
Her brother's friend.
Oh, my God.
I was mature for my age.
There's where I live, there's this, like, 1 st-year uni student who went out with a Year 6 girl.
Oh, my God! No, that is disgusting.
No, I'm only joking.
I'm only joking.
I was just seeing if you believe me.
Guys, this might sound really random, but I think some of the Year 7 s are hot at this school.
Oh, my God, they're, like, 12 years old, Ja'mie.
Have a look at them, seriously! They have small Like, you can tell they're gonna be hot when they get older.
Yeah, like Josh's brother.
Josh's brother's hot as.
What about the little guy with the, um he's got, like, the shaggy mullet and he wears the wristbands? Oh, that's Sebastian Perrone.
Sebastian Perrone! He is hot.
I'm in love with Sebastian.
Yeah, he's kinda cute.
He's cute.
I saw him on my first day here.
He's cute.
And the Year 7 s totally flirt with me.
Have you noticed? They're always like, "Oh, Ja'mie.
" Like, you know they've got those really high voices? You 're, like, their hero, of course.
They would idolise you.
I know, they're totally into me.
Yeah.
They're hot.
Like, seriously.
You seriously need to see the school counsellor.
It's disgusting.
Have a look at the Year 7 s next time.
They're cute, but, like, put them on lay-by or something.
They're not cute, they're hot.
Holly, you know, she's kinda right.
I would, like, seriously consider going out with one.
Are you serious? I'm dead serious.
I'm starting to Yeah.
Why don't you just ask him out? Well, maybe I will.
Yeah, maybe I'll go on a date.
It's a baseball shirt, you fuck.
Look at you boys.
Where'd you get this shit from? Where'd you get this shit from? Hey, miss! See you at junior dance! Ah, you 're looking good, boys.
I'll see you there! She thinks we look good.
Look at my shoes.
Look at my shoes.
This is fucking gangsta.
What's this shit? Holy crap, what's this, bro? Get the fuck off.
Oh, come! It's not come.
Oh, yuck, bro.
Come on your pants, bro! It's just milk or some shit.
Were you thinking of Ms Murray? What did you do this morning? It's just yoghurt or some shit.
Shut up.
You 're just jealous.
Can I see? Yuck, he touched it, bro! Don't touch it.
It's come out of my dick! So you admit it! So what if I spoofed on my pants?! So fucking what? Oh, he said it! It looks good anyway! I bet you I get some good comments about it today.
He touches himself every day.
Girls like this shit.
I dare you to go up to Miss Wheatley, ask her what it is, man.
Miss Wheatley wouldn't know what it was.
Just ask her.
She wouldn't know.
She's never seen it before.
She's not married.
So? So? Just ask her.
Just ask Miss Wheatley, "Hey, miss, know what this stain is?" Are you really gonna do it? Yeah.
Jonah, don't do it.
Jonah, don't do it.
It's stupid.
I wanna do it.
You don't even know what this is, Ofa.
No, don't do it.
A dollar.
A dollar I'll do it.
A dollar? A dollar each.
Fuck you, motherfucker! Your shirt's all dirty.
Can I have a go? I know it's really random, but can I have a go? Oh, sorry.
Ja'mie's decided that she actually wants to go out with Sebastian Perrone, and so she is over there totally flirting with him right now.
She's seriously flirting with him so bad.
I've got the best phone.
Oh, really? It's a BlackBerry.
Who wants it? I do, I do! Oh, my God, you guys are so random! Go back to your games! Go back to your games.
I'm not interested anymore.
They so idolise her.
They are obsessed with her.
They totally want her so badly.
Understandably, though.
She's so hot, so The idea is, she really wants to be, like, the first Year 11 girl to go out with a Year 7 student.
So, are there, like, Year 7 parties and stuff? Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you ever invite older girls? They are seriously, like, flirting so badly.
I know, I know.
It's almost embarrassing.
Oh, man, you must be exhausted.
You guys do so much, like, physical stuff.
Yeah.
I reckon they would make a cute couple.
Yeah.
Definitely.
'Bye, Sebastian.
He said yes.
Yes! So he knew what I wanted straightaway.
He was really into it.
We've got a lunch date.
Yeah, just lunchtime.
Where are you gonna go? I dunno.
I said meet me at the canteen.
What's a good where's a good place? Um, basketball courts.
All the couples go there.
Yes! Oh, my God.
It's gonna be so good.
You can watch sport then too.
He's so cute.
He's, like, way hotter close up.
Oh, my God, he's got the best skin.
He's actually really hot.
And his nose is so cute.
I have got the most massive butterflies in my stomach right now.
It's gonna be so cool! I can't wait! Get a spot, get a spot.
Hello, everybody.
I'm sorry to drag you away from what you 've been doing.
I have some really very unpleasant news to share with you.
Last night one of our Year 11 students apparently overdosed with ecstasy and, tragically, was found dead this morning.
Now, the student is Annabel Dickson of Year 11.
Now, I know that many of you know her and she was a very well-liked, very popular student in this school.
Uh, the students are going to be, obviously, quite distressed.
The department is sending out extra counsellors to offer help in the last two periods of the day.
This tragic incident will obviously lead to a lot of media attention, so, for obvious reasons, I ask you not to make any comment to anyone.
Now, what I'm going to suggest is that we might have a moment's silence for Annabel.
Thank you very much for coming now.
Who is she? I can't picture her.
Did you teach her? Yeah.
Yeah, last year, science.
She was absolutely beautiful.
Was she a slightly tubby girl? No.
No, that's Trisha Marshall.
So, blonde or brown hair? Blonde.
Oh, God, it's gonna do my head in.
I can't picture her at all.
There must be a photo around somewhere of her in the school.
So, there's gonna be media attention.
Oh, my God.
This is terrible.
This is freaking me out.
This is a new one.
Well, it seems that any time we extend our trust to Jonah, he will inevitably abuse it.
I was only showing her 'cause I wasn't sure what it was.
Right.
Yeah.
Well, what I think, Jonah, is you intentionally provoked Miss Wheatley by showing her the stains and then asking her what they were, right? Now I want you out of those pants and into something clean.
Get yourself changed.
No way, sir! I've got the junior dance on.
You are lucky you are still going.
I could still ban you from it if you 're gonna give me any more trouble, alright? Just get yourself changed.
Fucking gay.
So, do you get, like, electives in Year 7 or Uh, no, you choose electives in Year 9.
Oh, cool.
Year 7's such a random year.
Mmm.
So, what music are you into? Hip-hop and rock and stuff.
Same! I'm so into hip-hop.
Oh, my God, we've got so much in common.
I love your wristbands.
They're so cute.
Where'd you get 'em? Um, $2 shop.
They're cool.
The colours are really good.
They really work with the uniform.
'Gnarly' and 'peace'.
I LOVE peace.
Are you into peace? Yeah.
I would never go out with a guy that wasn't into peace.
I love your personality, Sebastian.
You 're just so out there.
How'd you hurt your knee? Oh, I was playing soccer with my friends.
Oh, my God! You fell over? Yeah.
Oh, so cute.
Ties are so random.
Don't you reckon? Yeah.
What are they? They're, like, just fabric.
I know.
So weird.
So, do you have any fat people in your family? Nah.
'Cause you know how, like, you get skinny kids and then they end up being really fat when they're older? OK.
The school has very definite procedures for dealing with any antisocial sexual behaviour.
And, I've gotta say, I think Jonah is quite confused about what is appropriate sexually.
Now, Jonah, Mr Peterson has told me that you 've had a bit of an accident today.
Is there anything you 'd like to tell me? No.
OK.
Do you ever have wet dreams, Jonah? No, miss.
You don't? No.
Do you know what wet dreams are? Yes, I do.
Do you ever think of Miss Wheatley in a sexual way? No.
She's ugly, miss.
So, what, like, attracted you to me? Like, what made you wanna go out with me? Your personality.
Really? Did you think I was hot when you saw me in the playground and stuff? Yeah.
It was pretty obvious from the way you were acting.
So, what do you wanna know about me? Um have you gone out with any other guys? Yeah, I've had 11 actual boyfriends and I've pashed, like, 135 guys.
Mmm.
Yeah.
What about you? I've never had a girlfriend before.
Oh, my God, it's so cute! So I'll be your first.
That's so cute.
I love your hair.
It's so I love it.
So do you wanna, like do you wanna go out? Like, officially go out? Alright.
Really? Oh, my God, are you serious? Do you wanna go out? That is so cool, Sebastian.
Oh, my God.
That's awesome.
So, like, we'll take it slow at first.
Like, I don't want to get hurt or anything.
Um give me your phone number.
Have you got your phone? Yeah.
I'll give you my number.
I've got a BlackBerry.
Oh, that's, like, the best phone.
Yeah, I know.
They're so cool.
I'd let you borrow it, but it's worth three grand and my dad will get pissed off.
There you go.
There you go.
Ooh.
Cool phone number.
Take a photo of me and put it on your screen thing so it comes up when I call.
Show me.
Hot! That's hot as.
Oh, my God.
I'll take some photos of you.
Hot.
Look at that - full body.
Just thinking about Annabel.
Just take your time.
Well, today has just rocked everyone's world.
And we're all in shock.
Just a reminder, I've got some tissues here if anyone needs them.
I worked out who Annabel is, or was.
And it turns out she was very good friends with a couple of my Year 11 drama girls.
So, yeah, that's it's been quite a a cool little connection there.
So who's been to her house? Did you guys ever go to her house? Yeah.
This is a photo of Annabel that I stole from the front office.
Um as you can see, she's a beautiful young girl.
So that's disappointing that she's done what she did.
It will be on the news tonight, I reckon.
That will be good.
Well, no, it's not good.
I spoke to her head teacher in the staffroom and apparently she was quite known for partying quite hard.
And she was into the drinking and the drugs.
And, um yeah, so there's a lot of rumours out there.
Is it true that she was anorexic? She was into the boys in a big way.
Um she was what the kids would call a slut.
Which is a terrible thing to say about someone who's just died, but, um apparently, there's no denying she was one.
Five, six, seven, eight.
Heel and toe, heel and toe.
One, two, three, four.
Heel and toe, heel and toe.
Back two, three, four.
Shut up.
I had to see the nurse.
You look so gay, bro.
You fucking your mother's gay! Fuck you! Why don't you kill yourself, Thomas? Heel and toe.
Back two, three Where's Keiran? He's over there.
Over there with Sophie.
Yeah, she looks hot.
She might like your spicy hotpants.
You might like my fucking fist, homo! Hey, Jonah, come and have a dance! Fuck off, miss! Hardly the words of a gentleman, Jonah.
Sorry, miss.
You boys ready for free dance? Yeah, mate.
We're gonna shit over the Year 7 s.
Jonah and the Islander boys, come on, please.
You 're required to dance.
It's bullshit, miss! There's not enough girls to make pairs.
Well, make pairs amongst yourselves.
Come on.
Please, Jonah.
Come on, you guys.
Up you get.
We're not dancing like homos.
Leon, you dance with Ofa.
She's a girl.
Oh, please! She's fat! Come on.
Up you get, Ofa.
Please! Yeah, you have to dance with her.
You could at least go and talk to some girls.
Touch her, Leon! Touch her boobies.
Put your hands around her! Ja'mie and Sebastian are totally acting like a couple now.
They're so cute.
They're so cute together.
It's really weird, like, they're so perfect together.
They play handball together, they go to the canteen together, they just do EVERYTHING - like, they're inseparable.
Are we going to the canteen, or what? Yeah.
They're really genuine.
Like, they actually really want to see each other.
Can you guys let me off for that one? Three-chance rule for girls.
And they just look so cute together.
Like, you don't even notice, like, the age difference.
You just see, like, this adorable, loving kind of couple.
It's really weird, 'cause they're, like, they're just perfect together.
I'm SO into him.
Really? Do you reckon is it love yet? It's not like deep love, but it's definitely love.
Really? Yep.
I knew you would love him.
I was on the phone to him last night for, like, three hours.
Really? Yeah, he's so funny.
Is the early stage weird, though? Yeah.
Does it look like it? A little bit.
He looks a little bit uncomfortable.
But only a little bit.
Like, I keep going to hold his hand and he's, like, freaking out and he doesn't want to.
It takes a long time for guys to warm up to girls.
Like, to touch them and stuff.
Guys never want to touch you.
Oh, he's so into you, Ja'mie.
Can you tell? I think it's such a cool thing you 've done now.
We're meeting at the gate - we're gonna walk home together and I'm gonna meet his mum.
Yeah.
I love him.
Meeting the parents already.
I'm SO into him.
That's a big step.
Do you reckon he's actually the one, though? Is he the one? Um yep, I reckon he's the one.
Now, that's the end of the formal dance section.
Now we're going to go on to the freestyle dance section.
Now, find a bit of space, and remember no silly behaviour will be tolerated.
Do you understand? This is shit music! Miss, this is homo music! Put some hip-hop on! Fuck you, Keiran.
Want a fucking challenge? Do you want a fucking challenge? Beat that, motherfucker.
Jonah, come here! I didn't do anything, sir.
Right, Jonah, you 're out.
I'm not jealous of that boy.
Why are you jealous of I'm not jealous of him.
That way.
I didn't do anything.
He fucking provoked me.
You promised me, Jonah.
He provoked me! You just can't Oh, Jesus.
Elaine, be still, please.
Well, my epiphany came at recess this morning and I've been on cloud nine ever since.
I've just I've strapped myself to the beast and I've been writing music and lyrics, and I'm basically, I've come up with a concept for my new musical.
And it's about the one and only Annabel Dickson.
Annabel's story is perfect for musical interpretation.
# Annabel, Annabel, Annabel # I wanna get to the truth of Annabel - who she is, you know, how she became a drug addict.
Cover the binge-drinking, the the sleeping around, the anorexia.
# Annabel # You 're a slut.
# So, I can't think of a better way to commemorate a student's life than to write a musical about them.
# Annabel Dickson # When girls take drugs and then they die # Who would have thought at Summer Heights High? # On days like these # It's a Bummer Heights High # There'll be a lot of media interest in the story, of course, so Which means more audience, which means more money for the Gregson Performing Arts Centre.
So we're all happy.
# She's a party girl # With a bad habit # A bad habit for drugs # She's a slut and she knows it # She wants to root all the boys # She can't help taking the drugs on a Saturday night # She's been sent by an angel to give me an idea for a musical.
And if it wasn't for her, then this show wouldn't be going ahead, so I'm just over the moon.
You 're seriously going to be OK? Do you want me to come? I'm gonna be fine.
I'm gonna meet the little shit at the bottom gate.
Seriously, I can come with you.
He's such a fucking 12-year-old arsehole.
Yeah.
It's OK.
It's gonna be alright.
Just confront him.
Where have you been? Class.
Do you know why I wanted to meet you here? No.
Where's your phone? You don't know where your phone is, do you? Because I've got it.
The reason I stole your phone was to check, before I made a massive commitment to you, that you were not cheating on me.
I open your 'sent' box and what do I find? Four messages to Madeleine.
She's just my friend.
Who the fuck is she? She's my friend.
Friends do not write two text messages in an hour saying, "See you in English.
" "Save me a seat.
" I don't know why I trusted a Year 7! I don't know what you want from me.
Seriously.
Like, I'm committed to you, OK? I'm, like, obsessed with you.
I've got a compilation CD in my bag that I was gonna give you on the way home as a surprise.
I've got you as my background on my MySpace site.
Have you got nothing to say? You 're not gonna say anything? I want you to swear on our relationship that you will never ever cheat on me again - swear.
I don't want to.
Swear on our relationship! I don't want to.
Do it! Don't want to.
You 're a fucking idiot.
Why would you do this to me?! Look at me - I'm fucking hot! You could have had everything.
You could have had all of this.
You just fucking threw it away with your stupid, stupid text messaging.
You 're just a You 're just an arsehole, Sebastian! Do you want your phone back? 'Cause you 're not gonna get it.
I'm gonna keep it.
I'm confiscating it.
Give me my phone back.
Nah.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
Give me my phone back.
You 're not getting it back.
Give me my phone back.
Get on your stupid fucking bike and get out, 'cause I'm sick of you.
You can take your fucking phone and go home.
I'll fucking hate you forever.
You 're a fucking arsehole! And thanks for breaking my heart, you fuckwit.
I dumped him! Oh, my God! Come and sit down.
Sit down, sit down.
He cheated on me.
Boys are so immature.
It's OK.
He's made me feel less hot.
Ja'mie, seriously, don't let him ruin what you are.
You are so gorgeous.
Am I hot? Yes.
You are too good for him, Ja'mie.
Am I hot? Yes.
You 're so beautiful.
And, frankly, I'm left wondering whether it's worthwhile me organising these sort of things for the kids.
What have you got to say to yourself? Can't even dance without fucking it up.
Don't worry, I'll give him a hiding tonight.
Let's go.
We'll leave that with you.
Look what you 're bloody wearing.
You look like a poof.
Shut up.
Don't call me a poof.
The great thing about this is you 've got drugs, you 've got youth suicide, you 've got anorexia, you 're dealing with all 'youth' issues.
The kids can connect with it, can relate to it.
The school is in for an amazing experience.
I now have a show that is so important and so now.
The show will be set at Summer Heights High, so we'll have, you know, familiar characters.
We'll touch on my involvement in Annabel's life, as one of her teachers.
Margaret's quietly confident.
And she's usually got a good eye for the next big thing, so she seems very pumped.
My only issue is I want it to be done tastefully and not to exploit her.
We're on the same page with that, then, Margaret.
# She can't help being a slut # On a Saturday night # # Ecstasy, ecstasy E, E, E, E # Maybe we can donate the proceeds to the family or, you know, a youth charity.
No, that's where you 're wrong.
We're going to put the money into the performing arts centre, back into the drama department that she loved so much.
# On days like these it's a Bummer Heights High # I've got a feeling this musical could be my finest moment.
# Bummer Heights High # That Annabel died.
# She accidentally sent it.
Find some new friends.
Build a bridge and get over it.
They've gone around the whole school telling everyone I'm a bitch.
Why would I want to be friends with you, lesbian curly-haired bitch? Stop being a fucking cow! "Ooh, look at my fringe.
Ooh, Asian, Asian.
" Why don't you go fuck yourself, public school bitch? Mum, it's me! I'm really upset.
I am not saying sorry.
I've got Jonah on an anger management course.
Get fucked.
I know how to manage my fucking anger.
Fuck you, miss.
Not you.
Write, "Do you like my dick?" Put him next to good students, he copies their work.
What do you think this is, idiot? Probably have to call your father.
We've asked you here to address this issue.
Just stop doing what you 're doing.
We're in audition week.
I really want to recreate the atmosphere of an inner city nightclub.
You 've got a face like a bloody horse! How's that making you feel, boys? # I'm a naughty girl # With a bad habit # You 're in the show, everyone! Hug me! I'm a fucking private school girl.
Guys, I can't breathe.
Stick your fucking cup of tea up your arse.
How do you spell "fuck him up"? # At Summer Heights High.
#