Swedish Dicks (2016) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1 [piano music.]
[Ingmar.]
Life after death: do I believe in it? No, but does that stop me from talking to my dead friend? No.
Not a single day goes by without me thinking about it.
Ten years, buddy.
[dog barks.]
[cell phone rings.]
Oop.
Hold on.
Sorry [rings.]
- [Sarah.]
Hey, Dad.
- [music and gunfire.]
Hey.
What's that noise? Just blowin' off some work steam by killing people.
[music and gunfire.]
Oh, um, my company's representing this, um, advertising agency in a lawsuit.
[Ingmar.]
Advertising? Terrorism with a smile.
Have you been drinking? Me? No.
[laughs.]
Okay.
- ["fail" sound effect.]
- What?! Rrrr! Oh, um, so I was talking to the owner of the advertising agency, and he was telling me about how he's having some problems with someone stealing and selling company ideas.
So I told him about you, and, well, now he wants to hire you.
That's great! Cool.
Oh, but you might want to talk about it with your partner first.
Hey, Axel is so not my partner, Sarah.
Okay, well, legally speaking he is definitely your partner, so talk to him.
Legally speaking, you're out of my will.
[theme music playing.]
Swedish Dicks 1x03 "Episode 3" Sep 9, 2016 [panting.]
[musical ringtone.]
Yes, it's Axel.
[Ingmar.]
Yeah, hi, it's me.
[Axel panting.]
What the hell are you doing? Don't tell me you're No.
I'm on my bicycle.
Are you crazy? You want to get killed? Get off that bike and drive like everybody else does in this town.
What, add to the traffic? The traffic that's killing the planet.
No, never.
Besides, I don't know how to drive.
[Ingmar.]
What? You heard me.
Everybody in the whole damn world knows how to drive a car.
Not everybody.
[Ingmar.]
Okay, whatever.
- [tires screech.]
- Sarah called me about a job that I think we should take, and since we're now You know, you and I, we're, uh Partners? Yeah, legally speaking.
It feels so good to hear you say it.
[Ingmar.]
Yeah, it's an ad agency.
They They need my help, or they need our help.
That sounds exciting.
- So you're in? - Yeah, absolutely.
We're in.
[Ingmar.]
So it was agreed we would take the job at the advertising agency, but the agency only wanted to meet us before we began somewhere where his creative co-workers wouldn't see us.
[gunshots So I come up with these ideas, and a month later, they've been stolen by one, two, three a bunch of my different competitors.
My company has been in my family for three generations.
If I lose this company under my watch [machine gun fire.]
I'm gonna kill myself.
Don't worry, sir, we'll find out who's behind it.
But if we don't, I just want you to know that when I was touring as a DJ in Brazil, I had a wonderful opportunity to meet some amazing rainforest Indians, and they told me about this drug that they give to their elders when they don't want to live anymore, and it's supposed to be a really great way to go.
If you want, I can get you some no problem.
Like I said, we'll find out who's behind it.
[gunfire continuing.]
[Ingmar.]
To find out who was stealing the agency's secrets, we'd have to be in the office, but not be seen in the office, which meant we'd need to be in the background.
Due to my looks and personality, it was decided that I would be a maintenance man.
For obvious physical reasons, Axel couldn't pass as a maintenance man.
That's why he went undercover as the plant man.
[phones ringing.]
[whistling classical tune.]
Hey, plant man? You mind keeping it down? [stops whistling.]
People are trying to work around here.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I - [spritzes.]
- Sorry.
[Ingmar.]
Only one day on the assignment, and my cover has already been compromised.
Man, you so blew our cover today.
What the hell were you doing with the plants? - [imitating spritzer.]
- I'm sorry, you know? I just got overexcited.
You're right.
You're right.
We're supposed to be undercover.
Yeah, right.
Hey, you know what? We should take down our home site.
Our home site? Yeah, for the Swedish Dicks.
Oh, you mean website.
- Yeah.
- I don't have one.
What? I don't need one.
What are you talking about? Of course, you do.
I've gotten this far without one.
How? Word of mouth and flyers.
Flyers? Yep.
Flyers? Our only marketing? Yep.
[elevator bell rings.]
[vacuum cleaner humming.]
Sun.
Have you seen this? Uch.
I offer to do propaganda, but he no want.
Oh, propaganda you mean advertising.
Yeah, Sun, she claims she worked for the Ministry of Propaganda back in North Korea.
Is that true? Truth is relative.
[Ingmar.]
Not in my world! [vacuum stops.]
I make badass graphics, blow your fucking mind.
[Axel.]
Why would That's a great idea.
She can do the website.
Okay.
She can make the website if you learn how to drive.
I know how to drive.
I'm not talking about your goofy little bike.
I'm talking about driving a real car.
I can always call a taxi or Uber.
Fuck that.
Scenario we're on a case in the middle of nowhere, I'm driving because you can't, and I get shot.
Now how the hell are you gonna get me to a hospital? Hmm? I call 911.
I forgot.
You lost your phone.
Up your ass.
Way up your ass.
Ooh, he got you, real bad.
Yeah, well, all right, all right.
You do the graphics, I'll learn how to drive.
Deal.
[Ingmar.]
Finally a bet that I was sure to win.
But I wasn't as sure about our case at the ad agency.
Was our cover blown? Was Mr.
Curious onto us? Excuse me.
I said excuse me.
Is that your real voice? What? Yesterday, when you said, "Hey, plant man, do you mind keeping it down? People are trying to work here.
" Is that your real voice? Yes, sir.
So that's really how you talk, all deep and raspy like? Yes, sir.
Well, it's very cool.
Like Like from a movie.
Or like that voiceover guy.
Right, yeah.
Say, "In a world" Well, I I got work to do here.
Okay, say, "In a world where I really got work to do.
" Um, uh In the world where I really got work to do.
So good.
Say, "In a world where there was no world.
" In a world where there was no world.
Say, "In a world where a married man can be secretly in love with his male co-worker.
" In a world where a married man can be secretly in love with his male co-worker.
[cheers and applause.]
[Ingmar.]
Wait, wait, wait.
Well In a world, in a world Where we can join hands And the maintenance man Can switch your light bulb On this Flo-o-o-or [Mr.
Curious.]
All right! [cheers and applause.]
[Ingmar.]
Yeah! [whistling.]
- Ah, ah ah, ah, Where do you go? - Car.
No, now is the time of driving.
- Now? - Yes.
I'm not ready for it.
I see you're ready.
Trust me.
Ow! Ow! [Ingmar.]
Slide the Key into the slot.
It's like unlocking your diary.
Turn it around.
[engine starts.]
Put your foot on the gas.
[engine revs then slows.]
Good.
Now make her roar.
[engine revs.]
Ooh.
Feels good, right? - Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, let's just sit here and relax.
Today at the office, did you see anything suspicious? You know, I did actually.
Yeah? When you were showing off your voice to everyone, there was this girl she looked like she didn't want to be seen.
We all can join hands and work together.
[cheers and applause.]
[Axel.]
She snuck into another room, so I followed her discretely.
I opened the door slowly [Ingmar singing faintly.]
and then I saw what she was doing.
[crunching.]
She was eating a lot.
I wasn't showing off my voice.
Who said you were showing off your voice? - You did.
- I did not.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- Yeah, all right, I did, because you were showing off your voice.
I wasn't showing off my voice! No, that's right because you were living in a world where a man was showing off his voice, but didn't know he was showing off his voice.
Oh, jealous? - [laughs.]
Jealous? Please! - Yes.
Oh, come on.
That's ridiculous.
- [engine revs.]
- Easy on the gas! That's ridiculous.
Why would I be jealous? Maybe because you're so used to being the center of attention, and today when I got all the attention, - it made you jealous.
- [engine revs.]
Easy on the gas.
I said easy on the gas before the engine [engine grinds and stops.]
breaks down.
Sorry.
[Ingmar.]
Was I mad that the kid broke my car? Sure.
But I also felt bad for him.
I'd been through the same thing.
I knew what it was like to have the big light shine on you, only to have it taken away.
[cell phone rings.]
[rings, beeps.]
- [music playing on phone.]
- Hello.
[Sarah.]
Hey, Dad.
Did I wake you? Never went to bed.
[orchestral music blaring.]
Hey, listen, I just thought you should know.
Dan killed himself.
Who the hell is Dan? The ad agency owner.
- Are you serious? - Yeah.
Apparently, he used some strange drug that the Amazonian Indians use to off themselves.
[Axel.]
Oh, my god! He killed himself because of me? Well, he did take the drug you told him to.
Hey, Cagney and Lacey, make a pose like I told you make.
[clicks.]
I mean, that makes me feel so flattered.
I mean, he took my advice.
He actually listened to what I had to say.
I mean, it's so hard to cut through the noise these days.
Pose! - You know what? - What? I think we should keep working on the case anyway.
Pose or die! [Ingmar.]
Absolutely not.
There's a golden rule among dicks.
If the client is dead, the case is dead.
Once, when I was DJing in Ecuador, there came a huge storm.
It meant that only a few people could come and see the show.
Now, in my contract, I had a clause that said I could refuse to do the show and still get paid.
Now, my first instinct was to just take the money and run.
But your second instinct told you to stay.
No, no.
I didn't have a second instinct.
I just took the money.
But that was the old me, and that's why I want to take this case.
I want to be better than that.
Okay.
Tell you what.
You're gonna turn that key, and if the engine starts, we'll continue the case, - and if it doesn't - [engine starts.]
Okay, listen, I've been thinking.
That woman you followed at the ad agency, you told me she ate a lot.
Yeah.
There's a lot of different explanations for that kind of behavior, guilt being one of them.
That's true.
So I want you to think back.
What was it that made you follow her in the first place? Well, I thought I saw her take something off of someone's desk.
Like a memory stick? Or a tampon.
But I think it was a memory stick.
We better check her out.
Okay? Here it is.
[dog barks.]
- That's a lot of guilty.
- And a lot of cake.
[car door closes.]
[engine starts.]
I'm going to explore the house.
Stay here.
Shit! Shit! Oh! [engine starts.]
[brakes screech.]
D'oh! Move the car.
Move your [horn beeps.]
[horn honking.]
Fucking guy.
Yo! You got a problem? - Get the car out of the way! - What? Move your car.
- No, it it - Get it out of the way, over that side of the street.
No, Could you move your car? No! Move your fucking car to the correct side of the street! Can I just stay here for a little while? No, you can't stay Okay! Don't fucking touch me! I didn't touch you! That is rape in America.
- Do not touch a woman - Okay.
ever.
Ever! What the fuck? No.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
- Don't.
- Don't touch me, I said! I didn't touch you! - No, I will scream rape.
- No, no, don't scream.
- Don't scream - No, no, no.
All right, no, you know what? Get out of the fucking car.
- Aah! - Get out of the car.
Get out of the car.
Fucker, get out of the car.
Shit.
[woman.]
Now, mother Come on, come on Easy, easy, back off! - Who do you think you are, throwing - What? I know you.
And I know you.
In the office, you two pretended like you didn't know each other.
- Did we? - I don't think we did.
Yeah, you didn't acknowledge.
You called him "plant boy.
" "Man.
Plant man.
" Oh, my god.
I get it.
Dan hired you to find out who was stealing the company secrets.
Yeah, he did, and we think you have something to do with it.
Why you say that? The way you stuff yourself with mass amounts of terrible food.
- [Ingmar.]
Yeah.
- What? We think it's a reaction to the guilt you're feeling from stealing.
That's your proof? Yeah, that's that.
And then we have this.
[chuckles.]
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
Uh, I mean, we got this.
Ooh.
That's mine.
Give it to me.
Sure, but after we've checked it.
I think we might find some company secrets on this - that you've been stealing.
- And been selling.
So what? Oh.
So you admit you were stealing.
Yeah.
I stole the secrets, and I sold them for a shitload of money.
Dan killed himself because of what you were doing.
He didn't kill himself because of me.
He killed himself because he was weak, and now he's dead, which means you have no client.
Which means nothing can happen to me.
Oh, you know what? Do me a favor.
Say, "In a world where two men completely wasted their time on a totally meaningless assignment.
" [Axel whistling.]
Now how the hell can you whistle, after being so humiliated? I'm happy.
Come on, your suspicions were right.
We did our job.
We caught the bad guy, just like we set out to do.
Well, it pisses me off that she got away with it.
She made us look like fools.
Yeah, I'm sorry I pushed it, but, come on, the universe will take care of her.
Have you ever heard of karma? Come on.
Whistle.
[whistling classical tune.]
[joining in.]
[Ingmar.]
Well, I guess that little guy was just trying to cheer me up, but karma, did I believe in it? No.
Just the same kind of wishful thinking as believing in an afterlife.
Ten years to the day.
It's a long time, pal.
Ha.
Sure is a long time.
What are you doing here? Lee Anne.
Are you the one who keeps leaving beer bottles on Tex's grave? He was my friend, and this is my way of holding onto him.
Then how come you let him die? Well, I checked everything.
Obviously not, because if you had, he'd still be with us.
Now why don't you take your stupid beer and get the fuck out of here before I call the cops.
Okay, you win.
Go! Night, Tex.
[theme music playing.]
Don't look.
Don't look.
Where the hell are you taking us? Now, stop feet.
[Sun.]
Take off blindfold.
So, what do you think? I love it.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, god, what a bunch of fuckin' morons.
[truck horn honking.]
[theme music playing.]
[Ingmar.]
Life after death: do I believe in it? No, but does that stop me from talking to my dead friend? No.
Not a single day goes by without me thinking about it.
Ten years, buddy.
[dog barks.]
[cell phone rings.]
Oop.
Hold on.
Sorry [rings.]
- [Sarah.]
Hey, Dad.
- [music and gunfire.]
Hey.
What's that noise? Just blowin' off some work steam by killing people.
[music and gunfire.]
Oh, um, my company's representing this, um, advertising agency in a lawsuit.
[Ingmar.]
Advertising? Terrorism with a smile.
Have you been drinking? Me? No.
[laughs.]
Okay.
- ["fail" sound effect.]
- What?! Rrrr! Oh, um, so I was talking to the owner of the advertising agency, and he was telling me about how he's having some problems with someone stealing and selling company ideas.
So I told him about you, and, well, now he wants to hire you.
That's great! Cool.
Oh, but you might want to talk about it with your partner first.
Hey, Axel is so not my partner, Sarah.
Okay, well, legally speaking he is definitely your partner, so talk to him.
Legally speaking, you're out of my will.
[theme music playing.]
Swedish Dicks 1x03 "Episode 3" Sep 9, 2016 [panting.]
[musical ringtone.]
Yes, it's Axel.
[Ingmar.]
Yeah, hi, it's me.
[Axel panting.]
What the hell are you doing? Don't tell me you're No.
I'm on my bicycle.
Are you crazy? You want to get killed? Get off that bike and drive like everybody else does in this town.
What, add to the traffic? The traffic that's killing the planet.
No, never.
Besides, I don't know how to drive.
[Ingmar.]
What? You heard me.
Everybody in the whole damn world knows how to drive a car.
Not everybody.
[Ingmar.]
Okay, whatever.
- [tires screech.]
- Sarah called me about a job that I think we should take, and since we're now You know, you and I, we're, uh Partners? Yeah, legally speaking.
It feels so good to hear you say it.
[Ingmar.]
Yeah, it's an ad agency.
They They need my help, or they need our help.
That sounds exciting.
- So you're in? - Yeah, absolutely.
We're in.
[Ingmar.]
So it was agreed we would take the job at the advertising agency, but the agency only wanted to meet us before we began somewhere where his creative co-workers wouldn't see us.
[gunshots So I come up with these ideas, and a month later, they've been stolen by one, two, three a bunch of my different competitors.
My company has been in my family for three generations.
If I lose this company under my watch [machine gun fire.]
I'm gonna kill myself.
Don't worry, sir, we'll find out who's behind it.
But if we don't, I just want you to know that when I was touring as a DJ in Brazil, I had a wonderful opportunity to meet some amazing rainforest Indians, and they told me about this drug that they give to their elders when they don't want to live anymore, and it's supposed to be a really great way to go.
If you want, I can get you some no problem.
Like I said, we'll find out who's behind it.
[gunfire continuing.]
[Ingmar.]
To find out who was stealing the agency's secrets, we'd have to be in the office, but not be seen in the office, which meant we'd need to be in the background.
Due to my looks and personality, it was decided that I would be a maintenance man.
For obvious physical reasons, Axel couldn't pass as a maintenance man.
That's why he went undercover as the plant man.
[phones ringing.]
[whistling classical tune.]
Hey, plant man? You mind keeping it down? [stops whistling.]
People are trying to work around here.
Sorry.
Sorry.
I - [spritzes.]
- Sorry.
[Ingmar.]
Only one day on the assignment, and my cover has already been compromised.
Man, you so blew our cover today.
What the hell were you doing with the plants? - [imitating spritzer.]
- I'm sorry, you know? I just got overexcited.
You're right.
You're right.
We're supposed to be undercover.
Yeah, right.
Hey, you know what? We should take down our home site.
Our home site? Yeah, for the Swedish Dicks.
Oh, you mean website.
- Yeah.
- I don't have one.
What? I don't need one.
What are you talking about? Of course, you do.
I've gotten this far without one.
How? Word of mouth and flyers.
Flyers? Yep.
Flyers? Our only marketing? Yep.
[elevator bell rings.]
[vacuum cleaner humming.]
Sun.
Have you seen this? Uch.
I offer to do propaganda, but he no want.
Oh, propaganda you mean advertising.
Yeah, Sun, she claims she worked for the Ministry of Propaganda back in North Korea.
Is that true? Truth is relative.
[Ingmar.]
Not in my world! [vacuum stops.]
I make badass graphics, blow your fucking mind.
[Axel.]
Why would That's a great idea.
She can do the website.
Okay.
She can make the website if you learn how to drive.
I know how to drive.
I'm not talking about your goofy little bike.
I'm talking about driving a real car.
I can always call a taxi or Uber.
Fuck that.
Scenario we're on a case in the middle of nowhere, I'm driving because you can't, and I get shot.
Now how the hell are you gonna get me to a hospital? Hmm? I call 911.
I forgot.
You lost your phone.
Up your ass.
Way up your ass.
Ooh, he got you, real bad.
Yeah, well, all right, all right.
You do the graphics, I'll learn how to drive.
Deal.
[Ingmar.]
Finally a bet that I was sure to win.
But I wasn't as sure about our case at the ad agency.
Was our cover blown? Was Mr.
Curious onto us? Excuse me.
I said excuse me.
Is that your real voice? What? Yesterday, when you said, "Hey, plant man, do you mind keeping it down? People are trying to work here.
" Is that your real voice? Yes, sir.
So that's really how you talk, all deep and raspy like? Yes, sir.
Well, it's very cool.
Like Like from a movie.
Or like that voiceover guy.
Right, yeah.
Say, "In a world" Well, I I got work to do here.
Okay, say, "In a world where I really got work to do.
" Um, uh In the world where I really got work to do.
So good.
Say, "In a world where there was no world.
" In a world where there was no world.
Say, "In a world where a married man can be secretly in love with his male co-worker.
" In a world where a married man can be secretly in love with his male co-worker.
[cheers and applause.]
[Ingmar.]
Wait, wait, wait.
Well In a world, in a world Where we can join hands And the maintenance man Can switch your light bulb On this Flo-o-o-or [Mr.
Curious.]
All right! [cheers and applause.]
[Ingmar.]
Yeah! [whistling.]
- Ah, ah ah, ah, Where do you go? - Car.
No, now is the time of driving.
- Now? - Yes.
I'm not ready for it.
I see you're ready.
Trust me.
Ow! Ow! [Ingmar.]
Slide the Key into the slot.
It's like unlocking your diary.
Turn it around.
[engine starts.]
Put your foot on the gas.
[engine revs then slows.]
Good.
Now make her roar.
[engine revs.]
Ooh.
Feels good, right? - Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
All right, let's just sit here and relax.
Today at the office, did you see anything suspicious? You know, I did actually.
Yeah? When you were showing off your voice to everyone, there was this girl she looked like she didn't want to be seen.
We all can join hands and work together.
[cheers and applause.]
[Axel.]
She snuck into another room, so I followed her discretely.
I opened the door slowly [Ingmar singing faintly.]
and then I saw what she was doing.
[crunching.]
She was eating a lot.
I wasn't showing off my voice.
Who said you were showing off your voice? - You did.
- I did not.
- Yes, you did.
- No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did.
- Yeah, all right, I did, because you were showing off your voice.
I wasn't showing off my voice! No, that's right because you were living in a world where a man was showing off his voice, but didn't know he was showing off his voice.
Oh, jealous? - [laughs.]
Jealous? Please! - Yes.
Oh, come on.
That's ridiculous.
- [engine revs.]
- Easy on the gas! That's ridiculous.
Why would I be jealous? Maybe because you're so used to being the center of attention, and today when I got all the attention, - it made you jealous.
- [engine revs.]
Easy on the gas.
I said easy on the gas before the engine [engine grinds and stops.]
breaks down.
Sorry.
[Ingmar.]
Was I mad that the kid broke my car? Sure.
But I also felt bad for him.
I'd been through the same thing.
I knew what it was like to have the big light shine on you, only to have it taken away.
[cell phone rings.]
[rings, beeps.]
- [music playing on phone.]
- Hello.
[Sarah.]
Hey, Dad.
Did I wake you? Never went to bed.
[orchestral music blaring.]
Hey, listen, I just thought you should know.
Dan killed himself.
Who the hell is Dan? The ad agency owner.
- Are you serious? - Yeah.
Apparently, he used some strange drug that the Amazonian Indians use to off themselves.
[Axel.]
Oh, my god! He killed himself because of me? Well, he did take the drug you told him to.
Hey, Cagney and Lacey, make a pose like I told you make.
[clicks.]
I mean, that makes me feel so flattered.
I mean, he took my advice.
He actually listened to what I had to say.
I mean, it's so hard to cut through the noise these days.
Pose! - You know what? - What? I think we should keep working on the case anyway.
Pose or die! [Ingmar.]
Absolutely not.
There's a golden rule among dicks.
If the client is dead, the case is dead.
Once, when I was DJing in Ecuador, there came a huge storm.
It meant that only a few people could come and see the show.
Now, in my contract, I had a clause that said I could refuse to do the show and still get paid.
Now, my first instinct was to just take the money and run.
But your second instinct told you to stay.
No, no.
I didn't have a second instinct.
I just took the money.
But that was the old me, and that's why I want to take this case.
I want to be better than that.
Okay.
Tell you what.
You're gonna turn that key, and if the engine starts, we'll continue the case, - and if it doesn't - [engine starts.]
Okay, listen, I've been thinking.
That woman you followed at the ad agency, you told me she ate a lot.
Yeah.
There's a lot of different explanations for that kind of behavior, guilt being one of them.
That's true.
So I want you to think back.
What was it that made you follow her in the first place? Well, I thought I saw her take something off of someone's desk.
Like a memory stick? Or a tampon.
But I think it was a memory stick.
We better check her out.
Okay? Here it is.
[dog barks.]
- That's a lot of guilty.
- And a lot of cake.
[car door closes.]
[engine starts.]
I'm going to explore the house.
Stay here.
Shit! Shit! Oh! [engine starts.]
[brakes screech.]
D'oh! Move the car.
Move your [horn beeps.]
[horn honking.]
Fucking guy.
Yo! You got a problem? - Get the car out of the way! - What? Move your car.
- No, it it - Get it out of the way, over that side of the street.
No, Could you move your car? No! Move your fucking car to the correct side of the street! Can I just stay here for a little while? No, you can't stay Okay! Don't fucking touch me! I didn't touch you! That is rape in America.
- Do not touch a woman - Okay.
ever.
Ever! What the fuck? No.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
Uh-uh.
- Don't.
- Don't touch me, I said! I didn't touch you! - No, I will scream rape.
- No, no, don't scream.
- Don't scream - No, no, no.
All right, no, you know what? Get out of the fucking car.
- Aah! - Get out of the car.
Get out of the car.
Fucker, get out of the car.
Shit.
[woman.]
Now, mother Come on, come on Easy, easy, back off! - Who do you think you are, throwing - What? I know you.
And I know you.
In the office, you two pretended like you didn't know each other.
- Did we? - I don't think we did.
Yeah, you didn't acknowledge.
You called him "plant boy.
" "Man.
Plant man.
" Oh, my god.
I get it.
Dan hired you to find out who was stealing the company secrets.
Yeah, he did, and we think you have something to do with it.
Why you say that? The way you stuff yourself with mass amounts of terrible food.
- [Ingmar.]
Yeah.
- What? We think it's a reaction to the guilt you're feeling from stealing.
That's your proof? Yeah, that's that.
And then we have this.
[chuckles.]
Oh, shit.
Sorry.
Uh, I mean, we got this.
Ooh.
That's mine.
Give it to me.
Sure, but after we've checked it.
I think we might find some company secrets on this - that you've been stealing.
- And been selling.
So what? Oh.
So you admit you were stealing.
Yeah.
I stole the secrets, and I sold them for a shitload of money.
Dan killed himself because of what you were doing.
He didn't kill himself because of me.
He killed himself because he was weak, and now he's dead, which means you have no client.
Which means nothing can happen to me.
Oh, you know what? Do me a favor.
Say, "In a world where two men completely wasted their time on a totally meaningless assignment.
" [Axel whistling.]
Now how the hell can you whistle, after being so humiliated? I'm happy.
Come on, your suspicions were right.
We did our job.
We caught the bad guy, just like we set out to do.
Well, it pisses me off that she got away with it.
She made us look like fools.
Yeah, I'm sorry I pushed it, but, come on, the universe will take care of her.
Have you ever heard of karma? Come on.
Whistle.
[whistling classical tune.]
[joining in.]
[Ingmar.]
Well, I guess that little guy was just trying to cheer me up, but karma, did I believe in it? No.
Just the same kind of wishful thinking as believing in an afterlife.
Ten years to the day.
It's a long time, pal.
Ha.
Sure is a long time.
What are you doing here? Lee Anne.
Are you the one who keeps leaving beer bottles on Tex's grave? He was my friend, and this is my way of holding onto him.
Then how come you let him die? Well, I checked everything.
Obviously not, because if you had, he'd still be with us.
Now why don't you take your stupid beer and get the fuck out of here before I call the cops.
Okay, you win.
Go! Night, Tex.
[theme music playing.]
Don't look.
Don't look.
Where the hell are you taking us? Now, stop feet.
[Sun.]
Take off blindfold.
So, what do you think? I love it.
Jesus Christ.
Oh, god, what a bunch of fuckin' morons.
[truck horn honking.]
[theme music playing.]