Sweetpea (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

1
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
(OMINOUS MUSIC)
Shit! Fuck! (CAT MEOWS)
(PANTING)
(CAT MEOWS SOFTLY)
Eurgh!
All yours, I guess.
(OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES)
Swallow my tongue back of my throat ♪
Like it's finite ♪
Only so long I can chew till I choke ♪
Hide in plain sight ♪
What have you done? ♪
My rabbit run ♪
Caught in the headlights ♪
And I'm bigger now ♪
Oh, oh-oh-oh ♪
So say my name
like I'm ten feet tall ♪
Bow your head like I'm royal ♪
And every day that I get older ♪
Bow your head like I'm royal ♪
I guess my blood's running colder ♪
'People I'd love to kill.'
GOLDFRAPP: Ooh La La ♪
'Julia Blenkingsopp from school.'
Can you believe Rhiannon died?
GIRL: Look at her ugly little ghost.
So weird.
'For subjecting me to
a relentless campaign
of psychological abuse
between the ages of 12 and 16.
Julia Blenkingsopp, for making me spend
approximately 32% of my school career
hiding in a toilet.'
There's a dead person in here.
I thought something smelled.
I was just (GIRLS GIGGLING)
'Julia Blenkingsopp, for making me
actually want to be dead.'
(DISTORTED LAUGHTER)
(TURNS OFF MUSIC ON RADIO)
'Julia Blenkingsopp,
for having a cool job
with good morale and scope
for career progression.'
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
'For having friends to do stuff with
instead sitting at home
in her dead dad's robe.
For having a really nice house
that probably has bi-folding doors
and a kitchen island.
For having a partner
who's basically a Ken doll.
And for not peaking at school
like bullies are supposed to do!
Julia fucking Blenkingsopp
for her perfect little life.
But all good things
must come to an end.'
(GASPS, THEN SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(CAR DOOR OPENS)
- You doing a bit of DIY?
- Yep. Something like that.
- I can give you a hand if you want.
- No, I'm fine.
Yeah, no, I mean
Obviously, you're capable.
Look, I know I've been a knob.
Which time? (CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Well, at the pub.
And before.
With the emojis.
It's just, sometimes I
You know, I can't find
the right words, so I just
Emojis are just like
this perfect little language.
So, uh
I'm
(LAUGHS)
sorry!
I haven't, uh, read the agreement yet.
- I will.
- OK.
Hey, listen, we should
still go for that coffee.
Yeah. We sh That
That would be great.
Like, just to tell you
my plans for the business.
Cos I really wanna honour him, you know?
So, like, every kitchen we fit,
everything we do, like,
it's got a bit of Tommy in it, you know?
Yeah, alright.
What about that new
place on the high street,
the one the does
all the posh coffees and that?
- Next to the Chinese? Yeah.
- Yeah.
Or we could just go there instead.
You know?
Banquet for two.
To honour him, of course.
You know, he really loved
those prawn balls.
Alright. When?
I don't know.
- I'll text you.
- OK.
(SNEAKY MUSIC)
DONNA: No
I know!
Oh, it's not OK!
Listen, Vonne, tell him
if he craps on the floor again,
he can clean it up himself.
Yeah, and we can say with our hands
on our hearts, you can do better.
Hiya!
(CHUCKLES)
Yeah, but he's harmless, isn't he?
It's like what my dad used to say:
"Good heart, bad farts."
Can I get a bag, please? (LAUGHS)
- Yeah, I know.
- (WHISPERING) Just a bag.
(SLURPING) Mm! Mm-mm!
(SCANNER BEEPS) OK.
Ugh! Hang on, Vonne, one second.
What? What?!
Oh, me. Sorry. I thought
you were talking to Vonne.
- I just need a bag.
- What, do you know Vonne?
No. Uh, just
- heard you talking.
- OK, weirdo.
Bag's 15p.
Anyway
Vonne, he showed up!
Yeah. And it's him!
Actually, I'm wondering if you can
help me with one more thing.
- What an absolute joke!
- I wonder if you can help me
find your extra-large durable gloves.
I'm just planning to murder
my school bully
- and hoping you could help me.
- £29.59.
- OK.
- No, not you.
Just some bloody customer.
(LAUGHING, SLURPING)
Mm! That is what I kept saying to him.
I was like, "Yeah, what are you doing?"
(CHUCKLES)
No, shut up!
Bye, then. (LAUGHS)
Vonne?
You there, babe? Oh
(CHOKING)
No
WOMAN: (ON PHONE)
Hello. Badgerton's. How may I help?
Hi, uh
Is Julia Blenkingsopp in?
It's Rhiannon Lewis.
Yes, she's just walking in.
One moment, please.
Hello? Julia speaking.
Hi. Uh, it's Rhiannon.
- Oh, hi.
- Um
So, uh, sorry to call first thing.
Uh, I know Seren's
really keen to get the photos.
I did a big clear-out here, so, um
it would be good for you to see.
Uh, are you free this evening,
maybe, after work?
No.
Uh, well, it's It's really
I can do tomorrow evening.
Great. Tomorrow's perfect.
- OK.
- Uh can't wait!
(TENSE MUSIC)
- You sweat in your sleep, though.
- Yeah, but it's worth it.
- Morning!
- Morning!
- Hiya.
- You're a bit late, sweetpea.
Oh, uh Yeah, sorry.
- I got you a posh coffee.
- Oh.
Oat milk. Right, Jeff?
Uh, yes.
There's, um, pastries in the kitchen
if anybody wants
- wants one.
- Are they gluten-free?
Cos I can die if I eat flour.
Not instantly, but it'll take,
like, ten years off my life.
Uh No. Sorry.
It's fine. I'll just sniff Claudia's.
Am I not important
enough for a posh coffee?
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
Getting sick of her bullshit
actually. Sniff your own croissant.
Uh, can I get a word, Jeff?
- I'm kind of up against it.
- A word!
Please, Jeff.
OK. Yeah?
Great front-page splash today.
- Thank you.
- Just wondering where, uh
my name was.
Lovely!
Page 38.
"Office contacts."
Here it is. "Administrative
assistant Rhiannon Lewis.
01632-960-800."
Yeah, I just thought it would be
on the front page next to my story.
Oh, I'm sorry. Did you write it?
- No, but I
- That'd be why it's not, then.
It's not fair, Jeff.
It's my story. I gave you it.
My name should be on it.
If you want your name on something,
I'll lend you my label maker.
You can put your name on a stapler.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- Thanks for the pastries.
- Yeah.
Did you poison them?
No.
- Might be the perfect crime.
- Not really.
Lana's gluten-intolerant,
so she'd be my downfall.
I thought you were
an investigative reporter.
Yeah, well, you're kind of
putting me to shame
on that front right now. So
Go on, prove it.
- What?
- A bite.
(CHUCKLES)
Did I leave my coffee?
You've got jam on your face.
(SCOFFS)
Could have told me.
(DOOR SLAMS) MRS LLOYD: Where is she?
- Liar!
- Wait! Hang on.
You said you'd be nice about him,
and you weren't!
And where's the other one?
- Hello. Um
- How could you?
You sit on my couch, eat my biscuits,
and then you write this sick story!
(CLEARS THROAT)
I think
I think you'll find that's my story.
You wrote it?
Yes, I wrote it.
So, if there's an issue,
it's with me and not
the administrative staff.
They're egging our house, writing
stuff on our car because of you!
You called him a bully.
And now that is all
people will remember.
- 'Cos he was a bully!
- What?
He never showed any remorse,
and he went on and on at Dave,
because that's what bullies do.
- He deserved it!
- Ooh
(DISTANT PHONE RINGING)
Jesus, Rhiannon! (DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
You alright?
People can't do things like that
and then get away with it.
(KNOCKING) CLAUDIA: Jeff?
Everything alright in there, Jeff?
He's been in there for 20 minutes.
LANA: She must have really rattled him.
Do you think he's crying?
- Jeff?
- JEFF: Get out!
He doesn't deal with conflict well.
Very sensitive stomach.
Maybe we should just give him
a bit of sp
Oh, Jeff! Eurgh!
That is bad.
Oh, Jeff. You alright?
It's fine. It's fine, I'm an athlete.
Ugh! Oh, Christ!
What did he eat? Help him home.
- Oh, God!
- Easy does it, champ!
You just focus on getting better.
That lady was pretty emotional.
It's no wonder your body
reacted the way it did.
Sweetpea will look after your in-tray.
Get well soon, Jeff.
I hope it wasn't those pastries.
I had three.
(ALLURING MUSIC)
Woah!
What?
Uh, you You look, uh, different.
Uh, quick pint?
Uh, no. Sorry, I can't.
- A date?
- No.
Just, uh
A work thing for my dad's business.
Oh, cool. Um doing some business.
Handshakes and
stuff, and Yeah, very cool. Cool.
Cool, cool.
Bye.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Ready to order?
Uh, no. Sorry.
I'm still waiting for someone.
Right, it's just that we will need
the table back at 8:30, so
OK, fine, then I'll get
the mini banquet for two.
OK.
Sorry. Andy hammered through this
pipe at this job in Elmsworth, so
No, it's fine. Sorry. That was
- I was gonna grab your hand.
- I was gonna go it's my fault. I
- I like to (CLEARS THROAT)
- OK.
- Do you Shall we?
- Uh yep.
(CHUCKLES)
I feel a bit underdressed now.
(CHUCKLES) No, you look
You look nice.
Yeah? Cheers.
(EXHALES)
Right, shall we get into it, then?
Yes, let's, uh Let's do it.
I ordered for you. Hope you don't mind.
No, no. No, it's cool. Um
Have you got the agreement?
Uh
Was I supposed to bring it?
Well, yeah.
That's the whole point of the
I was gonna talk you through it.
I Sorry, I've just
I've been so, um distracted.
I've got this really big thing
going on tomorrow evening.
It's been hanging over me for ages.
When it's over, I'll be sorted.
OK. Sweet. Alright, well, look,
I mean, I can remember most of it.
My main idea is that we need
to start taking advantage
of all these rich arseholes
moving out of London, you know?
- I'm thinking extensions
- Mm, yeah.
- Garden work
- What kind of music do you like?
Uh
I don't know, like the usual.
McFly. Like, their early stuff, yeah.
Anyway, my other idea is, like,
videos. We need to start doing
Sean is so good at
all that TikTok stuff.
Mm! Or
We could talk about it later,
and you could have some prawn balls.
(CHUCKLES) Come on, they're good.
OK. Yeah, I must
really love him, because
I don't just eat tiny
fish bollocks for anyone, OK?
There we go. (LAUGHS)
Thanks.
Thanks for dinner.
I didn't pay.
- I thought you paid.
- What?
I didn't pay. Oh, we gotta pay!
Craig, we have to go back.
It's fine.
I paid when you were in the bog.
(LAUGHS) Oh.
- Idiot!
- You're too easy.
Sorry we didn't talk about the business.
It's alright. It was fun.
Do you, uh have a copy
of the agreement at your place?
Nah. No, I only had enough ink for one.
That's why it had all them
pink stripes on the last page.
I just ran out.
ESG: My Love For You ♪
My love for you, baby ♪
- Look at me.
- It's like a roller coaster ♪
It goes up ♪
Down ♪
Any way you want it, baby ♪
Up ♪
Down ♪
Up ♪
Down ♪
(PHONE RINGING)
Seren, she's already coming.
WOMAN: Hello. This is DC Marina Farrow
of the North Berkshire Police.
Is this Rhiannon Lewis?
Oh Uh, yes.
We're asking people to come in
and help with our enquiry
about an incident that happened
on Meadowlane Lock on the 9th.
How did you get my details?
You paid for entry
at the Square nightclub
using your contactless.
We're following up with people
who were in the vicinity.
Yeah. Right.
Does this morning work for you?
Oh Uh, yeah. Yeah!
Great, thank you. Um
OK, well, please come
to the station and sign in.
- It won't take long.
- OK.
Fuck!
(MUFFLED) nothing to worry about.
Just an informal chat to see
if you saw anything that evening
that might help us
with our investigation.
OK, I didn't see anything,
but happy to help.
Great.
So, what were you doing
in the area that evening?
I was just out uh, drinking.
Yeah, I was pretty hammered, actually.
It's probably why I didn't see anything.
Just too busy trying
to walk in a straight line.
Yeah Brutal honesty! We like that.
- It's a real time saver.
- And what was the occasion?
Was it just an average Tuesday night?
(LAUGHS, SNORTS)
Uh, well, my dad died.
Oh, my God!
And my dog.
What? Oh
They Oh!
I'm so sorry!
Oh!
See?
My world.
Oh.
- Yeah.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
What time did you go to the club?
Uh About 11:00.
Until?
Late.
Were you with anyone?
Did you see anyone you know?
- Why?
- Uh, well
They might have seen something.
It's good to follow up.
Right. Of course.
Um
- Or were you drinking alone?
- We've all done it. (SNORTS)
I-I was with friends.
Great. Names?
Uh, Pidge, Anni, Lucille
Julia Blenkingsopp.
And their contact details?
Uh, actually, you know,
there was one thing.
Uh It's coming back to me now.
Um, there was a big group of lads.
You know, like, laddy lads. Lad lads.
Like, the type that are, like, "Whey!
- "Lads, lads, lads!"
- Ah! Yeah
Uh And then they were sort of lairy,
uh, always in the way
on the dance floor.
I don't know if maybe
they could have done it?
It just seemed like
they were up for a fight.
Right. Well, thank you.
We will check that out.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Ma'am!
Sorry to interrupt.
We've got a great
lead on some laddy lads.
Excellent! Can I have a word?
Now. Sergeant
(CLEARS THROAT) (DOOR CLOSES)
Interview paused at 9:17am.
(DISTANT SIREN BLARING)
"Roar".
Sorry? Katy Perry.
You were singing it.
The other night. At The Bell.
Yeah.
"Singing" is generous, but
I knew I recognised you.
Does she always do that? Your boss.
- What?
- Not see you.
Yeah.
I have the same problem.
(DOOR OPENS)
Sorry, we're gonna have
to wrap things up.
OK. Right.
- Uh Is everything OK?
- Yeah.
Something popped up.
Nothing for you to worry about.
Just some new developments.
Come on, Marina.
Thanks for coming in, Rhianna.
You take care.
We'll be in touch.
(TENSE MUSIC)
WOMAN: Hello, Badgerton's
I need to speak to Julia.
- I'll just have to
- Now, please!
- OK.
- Thank you.
- JULIA: Hello?
- Hi, uh, it's Rhiannon.
I, um I can't do tonight.
I'm not, uh feeling well.
Yeah, I was gonna say,
neither can I, actually.
- When, then?
- Uh, yeah, I'll call you.
OK, fine.
JEFF: Yeah.
Yeah, no, we'll do it right now.
Mm-hm.
Absolutely.
Yeah. What's going on?
- Yeah, that's right.
- Jeff's feeling better, then?
Are those the same?
Shh!
Yeah. Alright. Thanks,
squire. I'll pop down soon.
Second body. Yes!
- Fuck! Is it linked?
- Where?
By the Regent's Estate.
Yes, linked, although, unofficially.
- But sounds like it.
- How would they know? I mean
- Same weapon.
- What, they found it, the weapon?
Uh, yes, I was also gonna ask that.
My source says no weapon found yet.
They're using the size
of the wounds to confirm.
It will take a day for
full forensics, post mortem, etc.
This is how they'll get caught.
Never know when to stop.
They can't help themselves.
It'll be some weird loner
who has nothing else.
- I heard it on a podcast.
- Of course you did.
Jeff, you get down there.
AJ, you find out all you can
about the second victim.
The rest of you, listen up.
I want you to be extra vigilant,
walking home drunk.
Claudia!
There's a killer on the loose.
(TEXT MESSAGE ALERT)
(TEXT MESSAGE ALERT)
LYKKE LI: Get Some ♪
(TYRES SCREECHING)
And cos I can ♪
I'm gon' go west ♪
Just like a man ♪
I'm the fortress ♪
Like a shotgun ♪
I can't be outdone ♪
You gon' get some ♪
- JULIA: (LAUGHS) Do it.
- CRAIG: I mean, if it was me,
I'd have a hot tub in every room.
Well, I do like a hot tub.
(BOTH LAUGHING)
Rhiannon! Uh hi!
Um hi!
I just, um
came to drop this off for the guys.
They've been working so hard.
So, um
Sorry, what is she doing here?
We were just going over
the plans for Tommy's house
What? What plans?
I'm putting in an offer.
I spoke to Seren after I came round.
I might flip it.
Sorry, you're
You're buying my house?
Look, it's just an idea.
Don't Don't freak out.
- Shit! Sorry.
- Jesus!
Sorry, I just I'm I'm gonna go.
It's fine. Look, I'll sort it out, OK?
Sorry
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC)
(SCREAMS)
(GRUNTS)
(HISSING)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
Shit! Uh Craig!
Uh (GRUNTS)
Oh
Oh, fuck!
Hi. I'm really glad you're here.
- I just wanted to say
- Do you have keys?
- For the office.
- Uh
No. Sorry.
I think I left my phone inside.
Fuck! Can you call Craig?
Uh, sure, yeah. I mean
He never picks up, though.
Or an Uber. I need to get back.
Ah, shit!
Well, I know
how to change a tyre, in theory.
Yeah, in theory, me too.
I don't think I even have a spare.
You want me to call your fiance?
Uh, no. Can you just call an Uber?
Yeah.
Or, um
I mean, I could give you a lift
if you want.
- Sort this out tomorrow.
- No, it's fine.
Fine. Just don't want you
to become another news headline.
(SIGHS)
Alright!
Oh! Don't worry about that.
What kind of music do you like?
That's such a weird question.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
What, you don't know
what kind of music you like?
I like Magic FM.
Cool. Yeah, me too.
Yes, I can boogie, boogie woogie ♪
All night long ♪
I like the optimism of it.
Yeah, like, how they think
relentless soft adult
contemporary classics
will just improve your life,
no matter what's going on in it.
You've got quite a nice life,
don't you, Julia?
It's alright.
Wait, why are we here?
I just wanted to show you something
if you're thinking of buying the place.
You know, black spots in the garage.
Yeah, I think you might
have missed them last time.
Rhiannon, are you serious?
Come on! Won't take long.
God!
Yeah, it's literally everywhere.
I think it might be mould.
Uh you'd probably know
better than me.
You might just wanna
take a look yourself.
(LIGHTSWITCH CLICKS)
Oh yeah. Sorry.
The place is a tip.
I didn't stay home last night
cos I was having sex.
With Craig, actually, so
Yeah, so much going on recently.
Anyway, shall I show you the garage?
Did you hear about
the stabbing at the canal?
Yeah.
Another body found today.
Big bully.
Stabbed to death and
left to rot behind the bins.
Sorry, where am I supposed
to be looking?
It was me, Julia.
I killed those men.
What the actual fuck?
They deserved it.
They were bullies, just like you.
Fuck off!
You ruined my life, Julia.
You ruined it then,
and you're doing it again now,
taking away everything
that is good in it.
Why? Hm?
Why do you always have to fuck me?
It's just a house! Keep it!
Do you think this is
just about the house?
I want an apology!
For what?
You know! You know what you did.
Rhiannon, I really think
we can talk about this like adults.
(GRUNTING)
You crazy fucking cow!
(GROANS)
(GRUNTS)
(COUGHS)
(PANTING)
(GASPS)