The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s01e03 Episode Script
Brothers
1 El Gato! Good morning, coins.
I told you, the bed is where people sleep, the bank is where coins sleep.
But I love coins so much! Now I love nothing.
Good morning, Treezy! Oh, my! My jewels were stolen! - My bed! - My wife is gone! - I've been robbed! - Somebody stole my mustache! Where are you, Señor Puss?! They move like lightning! I haven't seen anything move that fast since that dish ran away with that spoon.
Interesting.
This does not sound like the work of ordinary thieves.
Puss! I've been - Robbed? - How did you know? Thieves have robbed half the people in town.
They seem to have remarkable agility and Señor Puss! Señor Puss! It's me, Toby.
I'm a pig, and I'm about this tall, and I'm from the orphanage, and my face looks like this face right here.
Yes, Toby.
I am looking directly at you.
Why are you here? To help out! Helping is my favorite! Dulcinea, could you describe the thief for me using mouth sounds? He was moving so fast Is this the thief? Is it? Could you just give us a moment? Toby, what are you doing? I'm helping you find out about who did the stealing.
You know, 'cause you're my hero and all.
Look, that is very kind of you, but you see, I work alone.
And this is very important.
Surely a smart pig like you can understand that.
But I wanted to help.
Is Is that This thing you are doing, it is not working.
Try like this.
That is Wow.
Just, just wow.
I will handle this, Toby by myself.
Puss Uh, Puss, things are hard for Toby, and he admires you so much.
Couldn't you just let him help you? A little? For me? I can never say no to a woman.
- Please pay your bar tab.
- No.
I have something for you, Toby.
Oh, my gosh, it's just what I've always What is it? Your very own official Junior Puss Squad badge.
Toby, I need your help finding the thieves.
- But please, do not get in my way or - Best friends forever! I immediately regret this decision.
I can't tell you how much fun I'm having being your partner, slash, best friend, Puss.
I mean, I know we haven't caught the thief yet, and I know everyone is starting to doubt your abilities, and I know everyone's starting to worry that you're not all that you're cracked up to be, and I bet that makes you feel real bad.
- And nobody - Toby! Shh! OK! There, the treasure house is secure against any attack.
Have you ever seen such chains? And the only key to the lock will be in the most secure place imaginable: my boot.
So anyone wishing to steal our treasure has to get past Old Bootsie.
Hey, Puss, we should have a secret signal, a secret best friend signal, just for you and me to know! - 'Cause we're best friends.
- Right.
Why don't you run along and quietly work on that? Forever.
That's OK, I can work on it right here.
It could be, uh, something like This is not a good time.
Thief! It is time to receive a taste of justice from Puss in Boot I have you right where Puss! No one steals the hat of Puss! Leave Puss alone! Toby, you must never meddle in the affairs of a swordsman.
I could've cut off your head with my razor-sharp precision.
What were they? I have seen this fighting style once before, in the Far East.
They call themselves ninjos.
No, no, no.
Niñajas.
Namjams? Wait.
Ninjas.
They are the most deadly foe a cat may face.
But face them I will! Toby, what are you doing? It's our secret best friend signal.
I told you, now is not the right time.
Toby, I need to be alone for I'm so happy my bestest hero is also my bestest friend! I am not your best friend! You are making everything impossible! I I thought we were best Toby, I am sorry, but this is too dangerous for a child.
I'm going to patrol the southern edge of town alone.
Now, be careful.
We do not know what these thieves will steal next.
It could be anything, anything at all.
Hello? Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? And is breakfast soon? And my favorite is gruel! Stay back.
I poo when I'm tickled.
Dude.
Relax little brother.
I'm worried about Toby, too, Puss, but do you think you're overdoing it a little? Like I always say, when it comes to missing-pig posters, go big or go home! Don't worry, we'll find him, Puss.
I feel that this is my fault.
And when I think of that foolish missing pig, all alone out there, without even knowing how or why he left, my insides feel.
This I do not like.
Am I dying? Puss, that's just sadness.
"When a bird its flock departs, the others feel it in their hearts.
" Are you saying that a bird took my Toby? It would have to be quite a large bird.
I'm saying maybe you miss him.
I suppose I do.
He may be as loud and annoying as a goat, but he has a heart as big as a goat's head.
I am sorry, I am looking at a goat down the street.
Hi, Goaty! So it turns out they had used grapefruit juice.
Ugh! And that's why I stopped eating ceviche.
Huh? Anyway, long story short, we're ninjas now.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Back home, my friend Puss and I Bored! Ninja bros, sound off! Brandt.
I'm the cute one.
Dom! I'm the bad boy.
You guys know I already know your names, right? Chad.
I'm the sporty one.
Lamar.
I'm the prankster.
Hah! So why am I here? Like, you know when we were younger and you were always super mean to us? I was mean to you? Yeah, like, you used to poke us with sticks.
And you used to whack us like piñatas until candy spilled out of our mouths.
And you called us losers, and threw us out of the house! But that's all stuff you guys did to me.
You threw me out and I had to go to the orphanage.
- No, not how I remember it.
- That would make us terrible.
I smell of lunch meat! Well, we forgive you for being so mean to us, and we want you to join our ninja gang.
You do? Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! All I ever wanted was for you guys to like me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh, yeah, one little thing.
If you wanna join us, you have to help us borrow something.
Wait, why'd you say "borrow" like that? Like you were being dishonest.
Me? Oh, no, I didn't, bro.
You heard it weird because your ears are all messed up.
Oh, OK.
So what are we borrowing? Just a little something from the San Lorenzo treasure house.
But we're not supposed to go in there.
It's one of Señora Zapata's rules.
She has a lot of rules, like never ask why she's crying.
Toby, I couldn't agree more with whatever nonsense you were just jabbering there, but sometimes we have to break the rules if we're going to be heroes.
Heroes? Wow! Yep, by harnessing the power of San Lorenzo's most powerful treasure item thingy, the Gauntlet of Chirotheca! We can help thousands of people.
Or maybe even hundreds.
Besides, it should be a snap since you're all buddy-buddy with that cat in shoes.
Puss in Boots.
Whatever.
All you gots to do is give him this.
And when he goes to sleep, take the key.
I don't know if Puss would like that.
He's my best friend.
I am not your best friend! Something-something-something! Well, if you're not gonna use it to do bad stuff, I guess I could do it.
I don't care what they say about ya, you're a real smart, capable pig, Toby.
Yeah, I'm a something-something Toby.
Where are you, Toby? I'm here! Toby! You are alive! I mean you are well.
Good.
But where have you been?! Um, well, you see See, I fell asleep and started sleepwalking.
And I got lost.
And then the riverboat captain was all, "If you don't have a ticket, you can't ride.
" ants made me their king "Carrot cake? What you know about carrot cake?" Viking's undergarments cross the Alps on a team of elephants solar eclipse, but not the kind you're thinking of Avalanche! Which brings us to about now.
Right? - Puss? - What? Oh! Uh OK, yes.
Um, a most amusing story, Toby.
Tell me another.
- You weren't listening.
- Of course I was! You were, uh, sleepwalking and there were ants and Vikings and pastries? Were there pastries? - Uh, Toby? - Milk? Thank you.
We shall drink to your return.
A toast to my helper and fellow orphan, Toby! Oh, you don't have to A pig who embodies the true spirit of the Junior Puss Squad motto: "Truth, honesty, and never borrowing without asking first.
" That sure is a specific motto.
A pig who defines the very definition of a pig named Toby! To you, my friend.
Salud! Hm Mm.
Tangier than usual.
I I It is like my legs have fallen in love.
- Aah! - Listen! Listen to me.
Listen! I know I like to play it cool, but the truth is, you are a pretty great pig, Toby.
A real winner! A prince of a guy! I want to sing! You sing with me, Toby.
You sing.
I left my tail with a nightingale Oh, San Jose! Hey! Do you have any idea what time it is? Huh? Huh? Who said that? Was it you, Sleep? Come on! Put up the dukes, Sleep! You cannot defeat Litter box.
Yeah catnip.
Uh, I'm sorry, Puss, but you're gonna be real proud of me when me and my brothers are heroes.
Whoa, dude.
This is awesome! That's the fanciest man I've ever seen.
The Gauntlet of Chirotheca.
All right, ninjas, let's get to work! Hey, Tobes! Little help here? Yay, I did something good! Maybe? Toby, I think the milk is not very fresh.
Toby? The key! Toby! What's it do? The Gauntlet of Chirotheca is only the most powerful metal glove-type thing there is.
Check it out! I've got a gauntlet on my arm! Pew-pew-pew! Toby.
We can't use the gauntlet to blow up rocks.
Yeah! We gotta use it to blow up buildings and stuff, - so we can take over the world! - Yeah! Wait, what? That that doesn't sound like hero stuff, that sounds like the other kind of stuff.
- Oh, man.
You guys wanna tell him? - I'll tell him.
Hey, dumbbell, we're the bad guys.
You guys! You guys, I'm telling Puss! You can't tell on us, Toby.
We're your family.
No.
No, you're not.
In the name of the Junior Puss Squad, I order you to stop being bad! Ugh.
OK, let's get rid of this chump.
Do not touch a hair on his chinny chin-chin! You may have the Gauntlet of Chirotheca, but I have the fists of me! Puss, down here! Down here, Puss! They're the bad guys! They're gonna do bad guy stuff! Buzz off, Toby! Your buddy's about to be a cat-flavored smear.
How do you control this thing? Hey! Where you going? Yeah, stay and enjoy the gun show! That is incredibly off-putting.
I'm gonna off-put you in the face! This is only gonna hurt a lot.
Not so fast! Tobes, knock it off and give us the gauntlet.
We're family.
You guys aren't my family.
Family doesn't lie to you, family doesn't make you steal stuff, family doesn't hit you until candy comes out of your mouth.
Probably.
- They they don't, right? - They do not.
Now, let's send these piggies running wee-wee-wee all the way home! Later, losers! Ow! I'm sorry, Puss.
As am I, Toby.
- Friends? - No.
Best friends.
Let's go home, partner.
I'm sorry I gave you that sleeping potion, Puss.
That was strong stuff.
Was I singing? I think I remember singing.
I told you, the bed is where people sleep, the bank is where coins sleep.
But I love coins so much! Now I love nothing.
Good morning, Treezy! Oh, my! My jewels were stolen! - My bed! - My wife is gone! - I've been robbed! - Somebody stole my mustache! Where are you, Señor Puss?! They move like lightning! I haven't seen anything move that fast since that dish ran away with that spoon.
Interesting.
This does not sound like the work of ordinary thieves.
Puss! I've been - Robbed? - How did you know? Thieves have robbed half the people in town.
They seem to have remarkable agility and Señor Puss! Señor Puss! It's me, Toby.
I'm a pig, and I'm about this tall, and I'm from the orphanage, and my face looks like this face right here.
Yes, Toby.
I am looking directly at you.
Why are you here? To help out! Helping is my favorite! Dulcinea, could you describe the thief for me using mouth sounds? He was moving so fast Is this the thief? Is it? Could you just give us a moment? Toby, what are you doing? I'm helping you find out about who did the stealing.
You know, 'cause you're my hero and all.
Look, that is very kind of you, but you see, I work alone.
And this is very important.
Surely a smart pig like you can understand that.
But I wanted to help.
Is Is that This thing you are doing, it is not working.
Try like this.
That is Wow.
Just, just wow.
I will handle this, Toby by myself.
Puss Uh, Puss, things are hard for Toby, and he admires you so much.
Couldn't you just let him help you? A little? For me? I can never say no to a woman.
- Please pay your bar tab.
- No.
I have something for you, Toby.
Oh, my gosh, it's just what I've always What is it? Your very own official Junior Puss Squad badge.
Toby, I need your help finding the thieves.
- But please, do not get in my way or - Best friends forever! I immediately regret this decision.
I can't tell you how much fun I'm having being your partner, slash, best friend, Puss.
I mean, I know we haven't caught the thief yet, and I know everyone is starting to doubt your abilities, and I know everyone's starting to worry that you're not all that you're cracked up to be, and I bet that makes you feel real bad.
- And nobody - Toby! Shh! OK! There, the treasure house is secure against any attack.
Have you ever seen such chains? And the only key to the lock will be in the most secure place imaginable: my boot.
So anyone wishing to steal our treasure has to get past Old Bootsie.
Hey, Puss, we should have a secret signal, a secret best friend signal, just for you and me to know! - 'Cause we're best friends.
- Right.
Why don't you run along and quietly work on that? Forever.
That's OK, I can work on it right here.
It could be, uh, something like This is not a good time.
Thief! It is time to receive a taste of justice from Puss in Boot I have you right where Puss! No one steals the hat of Puss! Leave Puss alone! Toby, you must never meddle in the affairs of a swordsman.
I could've cut off your head with my razor-sharp precision.
What were they? I have seen this fighting style once before, in the Far East.
They call themselves ninjos.
No, no, no.
Niñajas.
Namjams? Wait.
Ninjas.
They are the most deadly foe a cat may face.
But face them I will! Toby, what are you doing? It's our secret best friend signal.
I told you, now is not the right time.
Toby, I need to be alone for I'm so happy my bestest hero is also my bestest friend! I am not your best friend! You are making everything impossible! I I thought we were best Toby, I am sorry, but this is too dangerous for a child.
I'm going to patrol the southern edge of town alone.
Now, be careful.
We do not know what these thieves will steal next.
It could be anything, anything at all.
Hello? Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? And is breakfast soon? And my favorite is gruel! Stay back.
I poo when I'm tickled.
Dude.
Relax little brother.
I'm worried about Toby, too, Puss, but do you think you're overdoing it a little? Like I always say, when it comes to missing-pig posters, go big or go home! Don't worry, we'll find him, Puss.
I feel that this is my fault.
And when I think of that foolish missing pig, all alone out there, without even knowing how or why he left, my insides feel.
This I do not like.
Am I dying? Puss, that's just sadness.
"When a bird its flock departs, the others feel it in their hearts.
" Are you saying that a bird took my Toby? It would have to be quite a large bird.
I'm saying maybe you miss him.
I suppose I do.
He may be as loud and annoying as a goat, but he has a heart as big as a goat's head.
I am sorry, I am looking at a goat down the street.
Hi, Goaty! So it turns out they had used grapefruit juice.
Ugh! And that's why I stopped eating ceviche.
Huh? Anyway, long story short, we're ninjas now.
Yeah, that's pretty cool.
Back home, my friend Puss and I Bored! Ninja bros, sound off! Brandt.
I'm the cute one.
Dom! I'm the bad boy.
You guys know I already know your names, right? Chad.
I'm the sporty one.
Lamar.
I'm the prankster.
Hah! So why am I here? Like, you know when we were younger and you were always super mean to us? I was mean to you? Yeah, like, you used to poke us with sticks.
And you used to whack us like piñatas until candy spilled out of our mouths.
And you called us losers, and threw us out of the house! But that's all stuff you guys did to me.
You threw me out and I had to go to the orphanage.
- No, not how I remember it.
- That would make us terrible.
I smell of lunch meat! Well, we forgive you for being so mean to us, and we want you to join our ninja gang.
You do? Oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh! All I ever wanted was for you guys to like me.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! Oh, yeah, one little thing.
If you wanna join us, you have to help us borrow something.
Wait, why'd you say "borrow" like that? Like you were being dishonest.
Me? Oh, no, I didn't, bro.
You heard it weird because your ears are all messed up.
Oh, OK.
So what are we borrowing? Just a little something from the San Lorenzo treasure house.
But we're not supposed to go in there.
It's one of Señora Zapata's rules.
She has a lot of rules, like never ask why she's crying.
Toby, I couldn't agree more with whatever nonsense you were just jabbering there, but sometimes we have to break the rules if we're going to be heroes.
Heroes? Wow! Yep, by harnessing the power of San Lorenzo's most powerful treasure item thingy, the Gauntlet of Chirotheca! We can help thousands of people.
Or maybe even hundreds.
Besides, it should be a snap since you're all buddy-buddy with that cat in shoes.
Puss in Boots.
Whatever.
All you gots to do is give him this.
And when he goes to sleep, take the key.
I don't know if Puss would like that.
He's my best friend.
I am not your best friend! Something-something-something! Well, if you're not gonna use it to do bad stuff, I guess I could do it.
I don't care what they say about ya, you're a real smart, capable pig, Toby.
Yeah, I'm a something-something Toby.
Where are you, Toby? I'm here! Toby! You are alive! I mean you are well.
Good.
But where have you been?! Um, well, you see See, I fell asleep and started sleepwalking.
And I got lost.
And then the riverboat captain was all, "If you don't have a ticket, you can't ride.
" ants made me their king "Carrot cake? What you know about carrot cake?" Viking's undergarments cross the Alps on a team of elephants solar eclipse, but not the kind you're thinking of Avalanche! Which brings us to about now.
Right? - Puss? - What? Oh! Uh OK, yes.
Um, a most amusing story, Toby.
Tell me another.
- You weren't listening.
- Of course I was! You were, uh, sleepwalking and there were ants and Vikings and pastries? Were there pastries? - Uh, Toby? - Milk? Thank you.
We shall drink to your return.
A toast to my helper and fellow orphan, Toby! Oh, you don't have to A pig who embodies the true spirit of the Junior Puss Squad motto: "Truth, honesty, and never borrowing without asking first.
" That sure is a specific motto.
A pig who defines the very definition of a pig named Toby! To you, my friend.
Salud! Hm Mm.
Tangier than usual.
I I It is like my legs have fallen in love.
- Aah! - Listen! Listen to me.
Listen! I know I like to play it cool, but the truth is, you are a pretty great pig, Toby.
A real winner! A prince of a guy! I want to sing! You sing with me, Toby.
You sing.
I left my tail with a nightingale Oh, San Jose! Hey! Do you have any idea what time it is? Huh? Huh? Who said that? Was it you, Sleep? Come on! Put up the dukes, Sleep! You cannot defeat Litter box.
Yeah catnip.
Uh, I'm sorry, Puss, but you're gonna be real proud of me when me and my brothers are heroes.
Whoa, dude.
This is awesome! That's the fanciest man I've ever seen.
The Gauntlet of Chirotheca.
All right, ninjas, let's get to work! Hey, Tobes! Little help here? Yay, I did something good! Maybe? Toby, I think the milk is not very fresh.
Toby? The key! Toby! What's it do? The Gauntlet of Chirotheca is only the most powerful metal glove-type thing there is.
Check it out! I've got a gauntlet on my arm! Pew-pew-pew! Toby.
We can't use the gauntlet to blow up rocks.
Yeah! We gotta use it to blow up buildings and stuff, - so we can take over the world! - Yeah! Wait, what? That that doesn't sound like hero stuff, that sounds like the other kind of stuff.
- Oh, man.
You guys wanna tell him? - I'll tell him.
Hey, dumbbell, we're the bad guys.
You guys! You guys, I'm telling Puss! You can't tell on us, Toby.
We're your family.
No.
No, you're not.
In the name of the Junior Puss Squad, I order you to stop being bad! Ugh.
OK, let's get rid of this chump.
Do not touch a hair on his chinny chin-chin! You may have the Gauntlet of Chirotheca, but I have the fists of me! Puss, down here! Down here, Puss! They're the bad guys! They're gonna do bad guy stuff! Buzz off, Toby! Your buddy's about to be a cat-flavored smear.
How do you control this thing? Hey! Where you going? Yeah, stay and enjoy the gun show! That is incredibly off-putting.
I'm gonna off-put you in the face! This is only gonna hurt a lot.
Not so fast! Tobes, knock it off and give us the gauntlet.
We're family.
You guys aren't my family.
Family doesn't lie to you, family doesn't make you steal stuff, family doesn't hit you until candy comes out of your mouth.
Probably.
- They they don't, right? - They do not.
Now, let's send these piggies running wee-wee-wee all the way home! Later, losers! Ow! I'm sorry, Puss.
As am I, Toby.
- Friends? - No.
Best friends.
Let's go home, partner.
I'm sorry I gave you that sleeping potion, Puss.
That was strong stuff.
Was I singing? I think I remember singing.