The Agatha Christie Hour (1982) s01e03 Episode Script
The Girl in the Train
(woman) Buy some flowers, Iovely flowers.
- PIease your Iady Iove or the wife.
- Excuse me.
Go on, sir, be a gent, buy some flowers.
Cheer up the secretary.
- Not now, May, I haven't time.
- White heatherfor Iuck.
I need more than white heather! Lucky Iittle thing.
FIowers! Lovely flowers! How about a nice carnation, sir, or bunch of flowersfor the Iady? (typing) (woman) Morning, Mr George.
- Good afternoon! - Hello, Miss Garstang.
- Here I am, ready, willing and - Your uncle is askingfor you.
Oh, Lord.
I had sudden influenza.
- No, Mr George, that was Iast week.
- It recurred? It recurred Iast week, and the week before.
It was awfully sudden.
It always is.
Tell your uncle.
Go on! And, Mr George, this morning, his bark is scarcely audible because of all the biting he's doing.
- Oh, Lord.
It's bad? - Very.
(gruffvoice) Hello.
Good morning, Uncle William.
Is it? You, erm You wanted to see me? Not particularly.
- Oh.
Well, I'II go, then, shall I? - Yes.
Ah, very well, Uncle William.
Is that the Peruvian oil wells document? It is.
Worth afew bob, do you suppose? Much oil in Peru? Worth our investment? Such information is company business.
To tell an outsider would jeopardise our position on the market.
I promise I shan't breathe a word.
Get out, George, you're fired.
Fired? Uncle William! I took you on to work, not to Iounge in at midday.
There's a perfectly good explanation if you'd care to hear it.
Get out.
Don't make me Iose my temper or raise my voice, just get out! - Oh, confound it! - Steady on, remember the old gout.
- Out! Miss Garstang! Out! - Yes, Mr Rowland? Miss Garstang, see that my nephew is paid until the end of the month.
- I have everything prepared, sir.
- Jezebel! Do not Iet him through these doors ever again.
People who turn up at midday are not welcome in the firm of William Rowland, investment broker to the aristocracy.
Out! Miss Garstang, as soon as my nephew Ieaves the premises bring me a dose of bromide and a cup of your noxious coffee made black and strong.
Yes, Mr Rowland.
See you tonight, then, Uncle William? If ever I see yourface again I shall not be held accountablefor my actions.
Get out.
Get out! Out! Out! Get out! Sighs) (belL chimes) Here, dearie, beautiful flowers.
Buy a nice buttonhole, cheer yourself up.
- How do you know I need cheering up? - Tell by the way people walk, Iove.
You're absolutely right, May.
You see before you one of the great unemployed.
As of five minutes ago, I am no Ionger a member of the firm of W Rowland, investment brokers to the aristocracy.
Never mind, ducks.
With your Iooks you can go to the South of France and be a gigalet to some rich old dowager.
- There you are, dear.
- Thank you, May, how much? Have that one on me.
It's yesterday's stock.
The petals'II soon drop.
Thank you, May.
I say, how about a bit of white heather? - Picked it meself this morning.
- Where? What's it matter as Iong as it brings you Iuck? (belLows) Rogers? - There you are.
What kept you? - Good afternoon, sir.
Good afternoon, Rogers.
Finished work early, sir? Finished is the operative word, Rogers.
- Would you Iike Iuncheon, sir? - No, Rogers, thank you.
- Just pack my things.
I'm Ieaving.
- Yes, sir.
Justfor a short visit, sir? For good, Rogers.
I'm going to the colonies this afternoon.
- Indeed, sir.
- Yes, if there's a suitable boat.
- Will you join me? - Sir? Oh, it's very kind of you, but, no thank you, sir.
- Do you know anything about boats? - Which colony are you visiting, sir? I'm not particular.
Any will do.
Let's say Australia.
What do you think of Australia? Well, sir, I've heard there's room out therefor anyone who really wants to - work, sir.
- Ah, very neatly put.
Well, then, I shan't go to Australia, not today at any rate.
Had a difficult time at the office, sir? My uncle has fired me, Rogers.
Yes, sir.
Perhaps a journey a Iittle nearer to home, sir.
Canada's extremely cold, South Africa's extremely hot, India is crowded, and one has never met anyone who has survived the Windward Islands.
Windward Islands?! No, of course you're right.
Fetch the ABC.
We'II find somewhere a Iittle closer at hand.
At once, sir.
Perth.
Toofar.
Putney Bridge.
Too near.
Ramsgate, Reigate Why, what an extraordinary thing.
I actually have a place named after me.
Rowlands Castle.
Have you ever heard of it? Ifancy the trains go from Waterloo, sir.
What an extraordinary chap you are, Rogers.
You know everything.
Well, well.
Rowlands Castle it is, then.
Very good, sir.
I'II pack country clothes.
What sort of place do you think it'II be? Quiet, I would expect, sir, very quiet.
You won't require evening dress.
AII the better.
Less competition.
The Iast of the Rowlands should meet with instant approval.
- They'II make me mayor in a week.
- Yes, sir.
Your train Ieaves Waterloo at five-and-twenty to three.
- First class, sir? - That's the ticket.
(indstinct announcement) You sure you want a slow train, sir? There's afastfor Portsmouth, get you there in no time.
- Ah, but I'm not going to Portsmouth.
- Oh, I see, sir.
- No, I am going to Rowlands Castle.
- Where, sir? Rowlands Castle.
Have you never heard of it? Only over the Ioudspeaker.
That is, when you can hear anything at all.
Why would you want to go there, sir? - Because, porter - Thank you, sir! .
.
I have never had anything exciting happen to me and it's time I started.
Then go to Portsmouth, sir.
I doubt if anything happens at Rowlands Castle.
But the journey is at Ieast a beginning.
If you say so, sir.
- I say! - Help me, please! PIease help me! - Well, of course, but how can I? - Hide me! You must hide me.
PIease! - AIright, but where? - Heavens, he's coming.
I say, who? - Don't give me away.
- Of course not! - Then close the door.
- The door.
The door? Oh, the door! Yes, of course.
- Now act naturally.
- Naturally.
Young man? - Are you speaking to me, sir? - Yes.
(foreign accent) Young man, what have you done with my niece? I haven't the vaguest idea what you're talking about.
The news is good? Very.
Gilt:edged are up again.
You have your papers upside down, sir.
I am preparingfor a visit to the Antipodes.
How dare you, sir? What the devil do you mean disturbing my peace? I wish you to return my niece to me! I saw her enter this compartment.
What have you done with her? You are mistaken, sir.
Go and Iook in another compartment.
I demand entry! Demand, sir? That may work in your country, but it doesn't cut ice with me.
I insist that you tell me what you have done with my niece.
- I will - I say, guard! Porter! Here quickly.
You behave Iike this.
You, a visitor in our country! You are abducting my niece.
Oh, pooh! Now Iook here.
Thisfellow is annoying me.
I'm not at all sure I shan't have him up for assault and battery.
- Deal with it, there's a good chap.
- But he has my niece.
- Lor! This is a matterfor the guard.
- But Iisten to him! - He's asforeign as he can be.
- Foreign, is he? (foreigner) Don't! - Come along.
- shouting) Schweinhund! -(whistLe blows) - Off the train.
Hey, give us a hand, will you? Schweinhund! I will! Good day to you, porter.
Thank you very much, guard.
I will be even with you, damned man.
You will not escape! You can come out now.
The coast's clear.
Oh, how can I ever thank you? It's quite alright.
A pleasure.
Think no more of it.
Oh, Iook at me.
- Yes.
- My hat, myface! Whatever will you think of me? I assure you, nothing but the very best.
- Could you? - Yes, of course.
- It was splendid of you to help.
- Absolutely delighted to be of use.
- Splendid of you.
- Absolutely delighted.
Splendid of you The awkward part is that I'm afraid I can't explain.
You can't explain? No.
How wonderful! How topping! How perfectly splendid! - I beg your pardon? - Absolutely splendid! It's Iike a book that keeps you awake.
The heroine says, "I can't explain," in chapter one, then she does at the end.
I can't tell you how pleased I am.
I didn't know such things could happen.
I hope it's something to do with secret documents of immense importance and the Balkan Express.
- Oh, I dote upon the Balkan Express.
- What makes you say the Balkan Express? I hope I haven't been indiscreet.
Your uncle.
My uncle? Oh, my uncle.
I know.
I have an uncle myself.
Nobody should be held responsible for their uncles.
Nature's Iittle throwbacks is how I Iook at it.
What a refreshing and unusual person you are, Mr Rowland, but George to my friends.
And I am EIizabeth.
EIizabeth I Iike the name EIizabeth.
They don't call you Bessie or Betty or anything horrible Iike that, I hope? No.
Do I Iook an awful mess? Oh, no.
You Iook You Iook (brskly) .
.
alright.
Goodness! Where does this train go to? - Rowlands Castle.
- Where? Doesn't it stop anywhere else? Everywhere else.
Woking, Wimbledon, Weybridge, you name it.
Then I'd better alight at the next stop, go back to town.
Must you? You must find my behaviour quite extraordinary, Mr Rowland.
- George to my friends.
- It's so sudden.
He saw us at the taxi and then at the station.
I bolted in here.
- Us? Sawus in the taxi? - The people I was with.
You don't sound the Ieast tiny bitforeign.
- Foreign? - To have a beastlyforeign uncle.
Oh, I see.
Well, I was educated here in England.
One always is, isn't one? Where else? Well, I'm awfully glad you bolted in here.
(whistLe blows) Don't Iook so sad.
I wish I could explain.
No, don't do that.
It would spoil everything, the whole adventure.
Look, isn't there something I could do? Carry the secret papers to Vienna or something? - Secret papers? - There are always secret papers.
- Do give me a chance.
- You do want an adventure, don't you? I'd do anything in the worldfor you, EIizabeth.
- Even if I could give you no reason? - Rotten things, reasons.
- Even if it were dangerous? - The more danger the better.
What a nice man you are.
I'm sorry, I must go.
(announcer) .
.
Portsmouth and Southsea,PortsmouthHarbour EIizabeth! Maybe we'II meet again? Shh! Lean out of the window.
- Don't be seen to be Iooking.
- Good Lord! - You see that man Ieaning out? - Yes, where? There, George, Iooking just Iike the dear King.
Good heavens, yes.
I say, you don't suppose itis the King, do you? - He's travelling third class! - Follow him, George.
See what he does and where he goes.
Don't Iet him out of your sight.
Honestly? Is that all? What should I do? - Instructions will be sent to you.
- I say! -(whistLe blows) - Watch him, dear George,for me, and guard this, guard it with your Iife.
- It is the key to everything.
- But I say! EIizabeth, I say! For me, George,for me.
Oh, I say! Rowlands castle! I'm afraid you'II have to wait.
Your mayor-elect has other business just at present.
-(doors bang) - AII change! Hurry up, George, or His Majesty will give you the slip.
- Oh.
- Oh! So sorry.
- Are youfor hire? - Might be.
Thenfollow that cab.
- You a spy, are you? - Certainly not.
A detective on a divorce case? I can always tell.
- Nothing of the kind.
- What are you up to? Oh, just a prank.
You can keep the change.
I intend to.
A prank? You can get into trouble with pranks.
Don't worry, I've got white heather to bring me Iuck.
White heather? (chuckles) Dearie, dearie me.
- Ericavagans, - I beg your pardon? Ericavagans, dying, by the Iook of it.
White heather?(chuckles) There's one born every day.
Erica who? What on earth's thefellow talking about? (ping) Mm-hm! Smith, indeed.
(door bangs) Good evening.
Isn't it just? Can I help you? Er a room? A room, yes.
Single or double? Erm single? Ah, never mind.
- Erm Can you accommodate me? - Indeed we can.
We can Iet you have room 25.
Oh, silly of me, I've just Iet 25 to a Mr Smith.
I ask you, Mr Smith! And alone.
You can have 27.
And you, I suppose, are Mr Brown? What? No.
Er, Rowland.
George Rowland.
- Then fill it in, sir.
- Oh, right.
- And the address.
- Address? Erm Rowlands castle.
George Rowland, Rowland's castle! (pings) I hope you'II be very comfortable, sir.
Oh! Good gracious, another of you.
- I want a roomfor the night.
- I dare say you do! - And you will be Mr Jones! - If you say so.
No, ifyou say so, Mr Jones.
-(vacuum cleanerdrones) - Good evening, sir.
Good evening.
- Thank you very much.
-(coinsjingle) (whispers) Hell and damnation, no peacefor the wicked.
- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening.
(vacuum cleaner off Lord Rowland? To and fro, to and fro.
We'II need a new carpet at this rate.
- I say, what is going on? - On, madam? - I'm goingfor my constitutional.
- Oh, yes, I must say.
We'd be better off with sailors.
(clang) I say! BIast! Good Lord! EIizabeth, my darling, this is an adventure.
Oh, I say! (match strikes) - Filthy night.
- Yeah.
I should be careful if I was you.
- Lord Rowland? - Mister! Oh, quite.
There are two gentlemen to see you, sir.
- To see me? - Trafalgar Suite down the corridor.
Are you sure? For me? For Lord Rowland of Rowlands Castle, yes, sir.
Good Lord, did they say who? But I ratherfancy that they're not quite British.
- How much not quite? - Very much.
Infact, I think they're ratherforeign.
Oh, Lord.
Ah, George Rowland? - Yes.
- Of Rowlands Castle, hm? I have no doubt that you can guess our identity sir.
Can I? - No? - No.
But I'm relieved to find you are not who I thought you would be.
And who might that be, sir? A ghastly man fromforeign shores who interrupted my privacy, an Englishman's cherished right, at Waterloo station.
-(foreign accent) Ah.
Prince Osric.
- Ah, how do you do? No.
No.
The man was Prince Osric.
I am not he.
Ah! Well, he didn't behave Iike a prince at all, or not one of our princes.
- Lord Rowland.
- Lord Rowland? We have only afew moments.
Kind of you to elevate me to the peerage.
Which gives us time onlyfor you to answer one brief question.
I'm starving.
Haven't had a bite all day.
- Lord Rowland - Why in these places is it always ham? Right, fire away.
- Fire? - Your questions.
- I'm sorry, I didn't catch your names.
- Lord Rowland You Ieft London this afternoon in the company of a certain Iady.
You arrived here without her.
Now, where is she, please? Lady I'm most awfully sorry, I I don't understand.
- Well, if that's all, gentlemen - But I think you do understand.
You fit the description we've been given, even sofar as the Ericavagans, Erica Vagans.
I've heard that name! Is that the Iady you're Iookingfor? No.
The Iady we are Iookingfor This is ridiculous! - What have you done with my AIexa? - I swear I know no Erica or AIexa.
If you will excuse me I insist that you tell us where Her Highness is hiding.
- Her whom? - Her Highness.
EIizabeth? - How dare you, sir! - Restrain yourself, Prince Karl.
You know full well that I am talking about Her Royal Highness, the Grand Duchess AIexa EIizabeth of catonia.
Of where? Catonia.
Never heard of it.
You people seldom have, but I do assure you, you will.
One of your Balkan states, I expect.
AIways in trouble with your peasants and your parliaments.
Well, perhaps we do mean the same person, only I call her EIizabeth.
Sturm, we cannot allow this.
I am so sorry, I have no idea where EIizabeth is.
I only wish I had.
Good evening, gentlemen.
I shouldn't go in there, it's seething withforeigners.
- You run away from us? - It seems the sensible thing to do.
Indeed! Otherwise we might end up fighting and I never fight.
- You surprise me.
Why not? - I amfar too afraid of getting hurt.
Ha! So this is the remarkable British pluck we are always hearing about? I say, old chap .
.
go easy on the old country, will you? To your old country! That'sfor England, old boy.
I told you I was afraid of getting hurt.
That's why I Iearned jujitsu.
Oh, well done, Lord Rowland! Right! You shall hear more of this! Sturm, come! That is your Iast word, Lord Rowland? I didn't speak.
You'II not tell us Her Highness's whereabouts? Confound it, man, I don't even know them myself.
This is not the end! You will be hearing from us.
(clicks heels) Good evening, Lord Rowland.
And good riddance! I shouldn't be surprised if you didn't start another world war, Lord Rowland.
(Elizabeth) Guardthis, Guard itwithyourlife.
Itisthekeyto everything, (door bangs) Good night! This is ridiculous.
What I need now is a spot of Ronald colman in Raffles.
(Elizabeth)FolLow him, George.
Seewhat hedoes andwhere he goes, Don'tlet him out ofyour sight.
Oh, evening, sir.
Er, just Iookingfor my cufflink.
Oh! Phew, a narrow escape.
Right, you fiend.
If you move now, I'II move with you.
And so to bed.
-(glass smashes) - What was that? Good Lord! Five o'clock? It's too early evenfor worms! (Elizabeth)FolLow him, George.
Seewhat hedoes andwhere he goes, Don'tlet him out ofyour sight.
(toiletflushes) Morning, sir.
Don't you ever sleep? Yes, sir.
Oh, my God! It's gone! It can't have! It's gone.
The one thing she told me to guard.
Youfool! You are a totalfailure at adventures.
Afailure at work,failure at Iife Oh, EIizabeth I'vefailedyou.
(insistentknocking) Oh, what the deuce?! - Oh, morning, sir.
- Good morning again.
What time is it? - It's seven o'clock, sir.
- Must you make all this din? I'm sorry, sir.
The gentleman asked to be called.
I cannot make him hear.
Well, use your pass key.
I have tried, sir, but I cannot make it fit.
That one.
A key in the other side, if you ask me.
Then what's happened to the gentleman? How on earth should I know? Well, I'm Good Lord! Whatever is it, sir? Look! This packet was stolen from my room Iast night and here it is returned.
- What does it contain? - I don't know.
Dash it all, somebody's opened it already, so It's Iunacy.
That's what it is, it's absolute Iunacy.
There's no sense anywhere.
It's a wedding ring.
(knocking) - The gentleman in number 25! -(muffled cries) There's a Iedge out here.
I'm going along.
(muffled cries /knocking) God bless you, sir, you're in your pyjamas! And what exactly is the correct attire for breaking and entering? (knocking) (muffled) Help! Help! PIease help me! Help! Help, help! (knocking) Help! PIease help! But you're not Who the devil are you? (muffledresponse) AIright, where's the other chap? The man with the beard, Iooks a Iittle Iike the King, God bless him? - Yeah, friend of yours, I suppose? - No, sir.
Now if you'd be so good, sir.
Oh, no.
No, not until I know just who you are.
I, sir, am Detective Inspector Jarrold of Scotland Yard.
- Are you really? - Do you mind, sir? - And you are? - Well, I scarcely know any more.
I'm I'm George Rowland of .
.
of no fixed address.
Not Lord Rowland of Rowlands Castle, then? Don't be silly.
Rowlands Castle's a station on the Portsmouth Iine.
I know that, sir.
Now, you'd be well advised to tell me all you know about this business.
Well, I'm not sure it makes much sense, Inspector.
Perhaps you'II Iet me be the judge of that, sir.
Well, it all started yesterday when I got the sack So I came along the Iedge and What were you doing in the wardrobe? Oh, the rogue temporarily got the better of me, sir.
As to the theft of the packet, I can explain that.
I popped into your bedroom when you were out chasing that bearded fellow to the bathroom, and borrowed it.
But why, Inspector, why? - Didn't trust you, sir.
- You didn't trust me? I'm awfully sorry, sir, but I thought you might be another accomplice.
Accomplice of whom? Chappie that has this room, sir.
He's known to us.
Really? What did you find in that bathroom skirting, sir? Well, I can't make head or tail of it, actually.
I think it's a a Iove Ietter.
A Iove Ietter, eh? May I Iook? It's in my room.
Oh, no, not again! Oh, you do need someone to Iook after you, sir! Well, at Ieast they didn't take this.
But what on earth were they after? Yes, I'm afraid it might have been that Iove Ietter.
Where did you put it? Where indeed? I was going to return it, and then I came in and discovered that EIizabeth's packet had gone and then Then I'm afraid I went to pieces a bit.
I say, I slipped it in here! Veryfortuitous, sir.
May I? I say, do you think you ought? It is a private Ietter.
As you say, sir, but I ratherfancy that if you drew a Iine from one dotted 'i' to another you'd get a very different result.
Really? I rather think, sir, that this is a plan of the Portsmouth Harbour defences.
Good Lord.
They've had their eye on itfor some time, sir.
Quite a gang, you know.
So that's what he was up to Iast night.
That's it.
He was out collecting information that helped him dot the 'i's, as you might say.
-(chuckles) - Inspector, you're brilliant.
Thank you, sir.
AII part of the job.
And Ifear we haven't got to the end of this yet, sir.
My men'II soon pick up this nasty bit of work, but he's got an accomplice.
Gets a woman to do all his dirty workfor him.
A woman? What's her name? We're not sure, nor what she Iooks Iike.
CIues, you know, sir.
But it is rumoured that she has very prettyfeatures and bright eyes and infact at the Yard we call her Betty Bright:Eyes.
- Why Betty? - Well, cos that's her name, sir.
He used it once on the telephone.
Just Betty, that's all.
"AIright, Betty?" he says.
"Keep up the good work, bright:eyes.
" So Betty Bright:Eyes she became.
Oh, EIizabeth Excuse me, sir? Here, you don't Iook very well, you know.
I don'tfeel very well, Inspector.
I'd better catch the first train back to town.
That'II be the slow train, sir.
You'd be better off waitingfor the express.
The slow train will suit me admirably, Inspector.
If you're quite sure you're alright, sir, I will pursue my enquiries.
There's still a Iot to be done.
The girl in the train The brightest eyes I've ever seen, I'II stake my Iife on it.
She's either Betty Bright:Eyes or the Grand Duchess of catonia .
.
or both! Seagulls cry) Are you the only cabbie in Portsmouth? Hard work's goodfor the soul, my old mum always said.
Oh, did she? Station, please.
Exhausted the delights of Portsmouth already, have you? - Did your friends find you Iast night? - I beg your pardon? - Gave a neat description of you.
- Who? Foreign chappies Iookingfor a handsome young chap.
Couldn't place you at that.
Then they mentioned Ericavagans, Got you at once.
Said he had a bit of weed stuck in his Iapel.
Got you at once.
- My white heather? - Ericavagans, pale mauve.
Nothing Iike white heather.
There's one born every minute.
What an extraordinaryfellow.
(man) Paper, sir? "The wedding took place yesterday of Lord James Gay, second son of the Marquis of Axminster and the Grand Duchess AIexa of catonia.
" "The ceremony was kept a profound secret.
" "The Grand Duchess has been Iiving in Paris with her uncle, Prince Osric, since the recent upheaval in Catonia.
" Oh, damn, damn, damn! "She met Lord James," the swine, "on a skiing holiday in Switzerland.
" Oh, EIizabeth.
EIizabeth, how could you do this to me? But that's not my EIizabeth.
It's nothing Iike her.
Or is it? Oh, EIizabeth - George.
- EIizabeth.
George! EIizabeth! Aren't you pleased to see me, George? For God's sake, tell me, are you the Grand Duchess of Catonia? Because if so, this is the most ghastly photograph of you! No.
- But you are Betty Bright:Eyes? - Who? Betty Bright:Eyes, a traitor to our country, but I'II get you out of this! George, what on earth are you doing? - Get under the seat.
- I will not! You've got to stay out of sight! George, will you Iisten to me? I am not Betty Bright:Eyes, whoever she may be.
You're not? And you're not the Grand Duchess AIexa? Who are you, EIizabeth? I'm EIizabeth Gay, and my brother James has just married the Grand Duchess, whom he Ioves dearly, but her uncle, Prince Osric, didn't want the marriage to take place.
There was a horrible plot afoot for her to marry her cousin, a frightful pimply person called Prince Karl.
- I met him.
- Whom AIexa hates.
- Sensible girl.
- We were doing splendidly yesterday, bowling through London to the registry office, when Prince Osric, AIexa's uncle, spotted us, and then I had the brilliant idea of changing places, acting as a decoy, Iike these ducks in shooting.
We changed hats and coats and with the collar up, one hardly glimpses a girl nowadays.
And it worked Iike a dream.
Prince Osric came pounding after me, Ieaving the Ioving couple to plight their troth.
- Lucky old them.
- And everything was fine, except that I met a dear, sweet man who wanted an adventure and I couldn't resist giving him one.
But you also gave me this.
AIexa bought a spare in case James forgot.
You know what men are Iike.
And I thought it would add to your mystery.
Well, it certainly did that! And then Sturm and Prince Karl came pounding back and said you were in Portsmouth.
I got the express this morning and here I am.
Just to see me? And to explain.
(knocking) Sir, just thought you'd Iike to know, meet Betty Bright:Eyes.
I say! - Morning, sir.
- Yeah, we got His Majesty too.
He could have got away, but he wouldn't Ieave Portsmouth Harbour without her.
It's amazing what Iove can do, innit, sir? Amazing.
Well, better be off, sir.
It's the express trainfor these two.
Are you quite sure you won't join us? - Quite sure.
-(whistLe blows) - We're off.
- Well, good Iuck, sir.
It's just Iike all those stories, so simple when you know how.
And why.
AII the same, seems deuced odd to me that a common cabbie would know the Latin namefor white heather.
It isn't white heather at all, it's quite mauve.
But very, very Iucky.
- PIease your Iady Iove or the wife.
- Excuse me.
Go on, sir, be a gent, buy some flowers.
Cheer up the secretary.
- Not now, May, I haven't time.
- White heatherfor Iuck.
I need more than white heather! Lucky Iittle thing.
FIowers! Lovely flowers! How about a nice carnation, sir, or bunch of flowersfor the Iady? (typing) (woman) Morning, Mr George.
- Good afternoon! - Hello, Miss Garstang.
- Here I am, ready, willing and - Your uncle is askingfor you.
Oh, Lord.
I had sudden influenza.
- No, Mr George, that was Iast week.
- It recurred? It recurred Iast week, and the week before.
It was awfully sudden.
It always is.
Tell your uncle.
Go on! And, Mr George, this morning, his bark is scarcely audible because of all the biting he's doing.
- Oh, Lord.
It's bad? - Very.
(gruffvoice) Hello.
Good morning, Uncle William.
Is it? You, erm You wanted to see me? Not particularly.
- Oh.
Well, I'II go, then, shall I? - Yes.
Ah, very well, Uncle William.
Is that the Peruvian oil wells document? It is.
Worth afew bob, do you suppose? Much oil in Peru? Worth our investment? Such information is company business.
To tell an outsider would jeopardise our position on the market.
I promise I shan't breathe a word.
Get out, George, you're fired.
Fired? Uncle William! I took you on to work, not to Iounge in at midday.
There's a perfectly good explanation if you'd care to hear it.
Get out.
Don't make me Iose my temper or raise my voice, just get out! - Oh, confound it! - Steady on, remember the old gout.
- Out! Miss Garstang! Out! - Yes, Mr Rowland? Miss Garstang, see that my nephew is paid until the end of the month.
- I have everything prepared, sir.
- Jezebel! Do not Iet him through these doors ever again.
People who turn up at midday are not welcome in the firm of William Rowland, investment broker to the aristocracy.
Out! Miss Garstang, as soon as my nephew Ieaves the premises bring me a dose of bromide and a cup of your noxious coffee made black and strong.
Yes, Mr Rowland.
See you tonight, then, Uncle William? If ever I see yourface again I shall not be held accountablefor my actions.
Get out.
Get out! Out! Out! Get out! Sighs) (belL chimes) Here, dearie, beautiful flowers.
Buy a nice buttonhole, cheer yourself up.
- How do you know I need cheering up? - Tell by the way people walk, Iove.
You're absolutely right, May.
You see before you one of the great unemployed.
As of five minutes ago, I am no Ionger a member of the firm of W Rowland, investment brokers to the aristocracy.
Never mind, ducks.
With your Iooks you can go to the South of France and be a gigalet to some rich old dowager.
- There you are, dear.
- Thank you, May, how much? Have that one on me.
It's yesterday's stock.
The petals'II soon drop.
Thank you, May.
I say, how about a bit of white heather? - Picked it meself this morning.
- Where? What's it matter as Iong as it brings you Iuck? (belLows) Rogers? - There you are.
What kept you? - Good afternoon, sir.
Good afternoon, Rogers.
Finished work early, sir? Finished is the operative word, Rogers.
- Would you Iike Iuncheon, sir? - No, Rogers, thank you.
- Just pack my things.
I'm Ieaving.
- Yes, sir.
Justfor a short visit, sir? For good, Rogers.
I'm going to the colonies this afternoon.
- Indeed, sir.
- Yes, if there's a suitable boat.
- Will you join me? - Sir? Oh, it's very kind of you, but, no thank you, sir.
- Do you know anything about boats? - Which colony are you visiting, sir? I'm not particular.
Any will do.
Let's say Australia.
What do you think of Australia? Well, sir, I've heard there's room out therefor anyone who really wants to - work, sir.
- Ah, very neatly put.
Well, then, I shan't go to Australia, not today at any rate.
Had a difficult time at the office, sir? My uncle has fired me, Rogers.
Yes, sir.
Perhaps a journey a Iittle nearer to home, sir.
Canada's extremely cold, South Africa's extremely hot, India is crowded, and one has never met anyone who has survived the Windward Islands.
Windward Islands?! No, of course you're right.
Fetch the ABC.
We'II find somewhere a Iittle closer at hand.
At once, sir.
Perth.
Toofar.
Putney Bridge.
Too near.
Ramsgate, Reigate Why, what an extraordinary thing.
I actually have a place named after me.
Rowlands Castle.
Have you ever heard of it? Ifancy the trains go from Waterloo, sir.
What an extraordinary chap you are, Rogers.
You know everything.
Well, well.
Rowlands Castle it is, then.
Very good, sir.
I'II pack country clothes.
What sort of place do you think it'II be? Quiet, I would expect, sir, very quiet.
You won't require evening dress.
AII the better.
Less competition.
The Iast of the Rowlands should meet with instant approval.
- They'II make me mayor in a week.
- Yes, sir.
Your train Ieaves Waterloo at five-and-twenty to three.
- First class, sir? - That's the ticket.
(indstinct announcement) You sure you want a slow train, sir? There's afastfor Portsmouth, get you there in no time.
- Ah, but I'm not going to Portsmouth.
- Oh, I see, sir.
- No, I am going to Rowlands Castle.
- Where, sir? Rowlands Castle.
Have you never heard of it? Only over the Ioudspeaker.
That is, when you can hear anything at all.
Why would you want to go there, sir? - Because, porter - Thank you, sir! .
.
I have never had anything exciting happen to me and it's time I started.
Then go to Portsmouth, sir.
I doubt if anything happens at Rowlands Castle.
But the journey is at Ieast a beginning.
If you say so, sir.
- I say! - Help me, please! PIease help me! - Well, of course, but how can I? - Hide me! You must hide me.
PIease! - AIright, but where? - Heavens, he's coming.
I say, who? - Don't give me away.
- Of course not! - Then close the door.
- The door.
The door? Oh, the door! Yes, of course.
- Now act naturally.
- Naturally.
Young man? - Are you speaking to me, sir? - Yes.
(foreign accent) Young man, what have you done with my niece? I haven't the vaguest idea what you're talking about.
The news is good? Very.
Gilt:edged are up again.
You have your papers upside down, sir.
I am preparingfor a visit to the Antipodes.
How dare you, sir? What the devil do you mean disturbing my peace? I wish you to return my niece to me! I saw her enter this compartment.
What have you done with her? You are mistaken, sir.
Go and Iook in another compartment.
I demand entry! Demand, sir? That may work in your country, but it doesn't cut ice with me.
I insist that you tell me what you have done with my niece.
- I will - I say, guard! Porter! Here quickly.
You behave Iike this.
You, a visitor in our country! You are abducting my niece.
Oh, pooh! Now Iook here.
Thisfellow is annoying me.
I'm not at all sure I shan't have him up for assault and battery.
- Deal with it, there's a good chap.
- But he has my niece.
- Lor! This is a matterfor the guard.
- But Iisten to him! - He's asforeign as he can be.
- Foreign, is he? (foreigner) Don't! - Come along.
- shouting) Schweinhund! -(whistLe blows) - Off the train.
Hey, give us a hand, will you? Schweinhund! I will! Good day to you, porter.
Thank you very much, guard.
I will be even with you, damned man.
You will not escape! You can come out now.
The coast's clear.
Oh, how can I ever thank you? It's quite alright.
A pleasure.
Think no more of it.
Oh, Iook at me.
- Yes.
- My hat, myface! Whatever will you think of me? I assure you, nothing but the very best.
- Could you? - Yes, of course.
- It was splendid of you to help.
- Absolutely delighted to be of use.
- Splendid of you.
- Absolutely delighted.
Splendid of you The awkward part is that I'm afraid I can't explain.
You can't explain? No.
How wonderful! How topping! How perfectly splendid! - I beg your pardon? - Absolutely splendid! It's Iike a book that keeps you awake.
The heroine says, "I can't explain," in chapter one, then she does at the end.
I can't tell you how pleased I am.
I didn't know such things could happen.
I hope it's something to do with secret documents of immense importance and the Balkan Express.
- Oh, I dote upon the Balkan Express.
- What makes you say the Balkan Express? I hope I haven't been indiscreet.
Your uncle.
My uncle? Oh, my uncle.
I know.
I have an uncle myself.
Nobody should be held responsible for their uncles.
Nature's Iittle throwbacks is how I Iook at it.
What a refreshing and unusual person you are, Mr Rowland, but George to my friends.
And I am EIizabeth.
EIizabeth I Iike the name EIizabeth.
They don't call you Bessie or Betty or anything horrible Iike that, I hope? No.
Do I Iook an awful mess? Oh, no.
You Iook You Iook (brskly) .
.
alright.
Goodness! Where does this train go to? - Rowlands Castle.
- Where? Doesn't it stop anywhere else? Everywhere else.
Woking, Wimbledon, Weybridge, you name it.
Then I'd better alight at the next stop, go back to town.
Must you? You must find my behaviour quite extraordinary, Mr Rowland.
- George to my friends.
- It's so sudden.
He saw us at the taxi and then at the station.
I bolted in here.
- Us? Sawus in the taxi? - The people I was with.
You don't sound the Ieast tiny bitforeign.
- Foreign? - To have a beastlyforeign uncle.
Oh, I see.
Well, I was educated here in England.
One always is, isn't one? Where else? Well, I'm awfully glad you bolted in here.
(whistLe blows) Don't Iook so sad.
I wish I could explain.
No, don't do that.
It would spoil everything, the whole adventure.
Look, isn't there something I could do? Carry the secret papers to Vienna or something? - Secret papers? - There are always secret papers.
- Do give me a chance.
- You do want an adventure, don't you? I'd do anything in the worldfor you, EIizabeth.
- Even if I could give you no reason? - Rotten things, reasons.
- Even if it were dangerous? - The more danger the better.
What a nice man you are.
I'm sorry, I must go.
(announcer) .
.
Portsmouth and Southsea,PortsmouthHarbour EIizabeth! Maybe we'II meet again? Shh! Lean out of the window.
- Don't be seen to be Iooking.
- Good Lord! - You see that man Ieaning out? - Yes, where? There, George, Iooking just Iike the dear King.
Good heavens, yes.
I say, you don't suppose itis the King, do you? - He's travelling third class! - Follow him, George.
See what he does and where he goes.
Don't Iet him out of your sight.
Honestly? Is that all? What should I do? - Instructions will be sent to you.
- I say! -(whistLe blows) - Watch him, dear George,for me, and guard this, guard it with your Iife.
- It is the key to everything.
- But I say! EIizabeth, I say! For me, George,for me.
Oh, I say! Rowlands castle! I'm afraid you'II have to wait.
Your mayor-elect has other business just at present.
-(doors bang) - AII change! Hurry up, George, or His Majesty will give you the slip.
- Oh.
- Oh! So sorry.
- Are youfor hire? - Might be.
Thenfollow that cab.
- You a spy, are you? - Certainly not.
A detective on a divorce case? I can always tell.
- Nothing of the kind.
- What are you up to? Oh, just a prank.
You can keep the change.
I intend to.
A prank? You can get into trouble with pranks.
Don't worry, I've got white heather to bring me Iuck.
White heather? (chuckles) Dearie, dearie me.
- Ericavagans, - I beg your pardon? Ericavagans, dying, by the Iook of it.
White heather?(chuckles) There's one born every day.
Erica who? What on earth's thefellow talking about? (ping) Mm-hm! Smith, indeed.
(door bangs) Good evening.
Isn't it just? Can I help you? Er a room? A room, yes.
Single or double? Erm single? Ah, never mind.
- Erm Can you accommodate me? - Indeed we can.
We can Iet you have room 25.
Oh, silly of me, I've just Iet 25 to a Mr Smith.
I ask you, Mr Smith! And alone.
You can have 27.
And you, I suppose, are Mr Brown? What? No.
Er, Rowland.
George Rowland.
- Then fill it in, sir.
- Oh, right.
- And the address.
- Address? Erm Rowlands castle.
George Rowland, Rowland's castle! (pings) I hope you'II be very comfortable, sir.
Oh! Good gracious, another of you.
- I want a roomfor the night.
- I dare say you do! - And you will be Mr Jones! - If you say so.
No, ifyou say so, Mr Jones.
-(vacuum cleanerdrones) - Good evening, sir.
Good evening.
- Thank you very much.
-(coinsjingle) (whispers) Hell and damnation, no peacefor the wicked.
- Good evening, sir.
- Good evening.
(vacuum cleaner off Lord Rowland? To and fro, to and fro.
We'II need a new carpet at this rate.
- I say, what is going on? - On, madam? - I'm goingfor my constitutional.
- Oh, yes, I must say.
We'd be better off with sailors.
(clang) I say! BIast! Good Lord! EIizabeth, my darling, this is an adventure.
Oh, I say! (match strikes) - Filthy night.
- Yeah.
I should be careful if I was you.
- Lord Rowland? - Mister! Oh, quite.
There are two gentlemen to see you, sir.
- To see me? - Trafalgar Suite down the corridor.
Are you sure? For me? For Lord Rowland of Rowlands Castle, yes, sir.
Good Lord, did they say who? But I ratherfancy that they're not quite British.
- How much not quite? - Very much.
Infact, I think they're ratherforeign.
Oh, Lord.
Ah, George Rowland? - Yes.
- Of Rowlands Castle, hm? I have no doubt that you can guess our identity sir.
Can I? - No? - No.
But I'm relieved to find you are not who I thought you would be.
And who might that be, sir? A ghastly man fromforeign shores who interrupted my privacy, an Englishman's cherished right, at Waterloo station.
-(foreign accent) Ah.
Prince Osric.
- Ah, how do you do? No.
No.
The man was Prince Osric.
I am not he.
Ah! Well, he didn't behave Iike a prince at all, or not one of our princes.
- Lord Rowland.
- Lord Rowland? We have only afew moments.
Kind of you to elevate me to the peerage.
Which gives us time onlyfor you to answer one brief question.
I'm starving.
Haven't had a bite all day.
- Lord Rowland - Why in these places is it always ham? Right, fire away.
- Fire? - Your questions.
- I'm sorry, I didn't catch your names.
- Lord Rowland You Ieft London this afternoon in the company of a certain Iady.
You arrived here without her.
Now, where is she, please? Lady I'm most awfully sorry, I I don't understand.
- Well, if that's all, gentlemen - But I think you do understand.
You fit the description we've been given, even sofar as the Ericavagans, Erica Vagans.
I've heard that name! Is that the Iady you're Iookingfor? No.
The Iady we are Iookingfor This is ridiculous! - What have you done with my AIexa? - I swear I know no Erica or AIexa.
If you will excuse me I insist that you tell us where Her Highness is hiding.
- Her whom? - Her Highness.
EIizabeth? - How dare you, sir! - Restrain yourself, Prince Karl.
You know full well that I am talking about Her Royal Highness, the Grand Duchess AIexa EIizabeth of catonia.
Of where? Catonia.
Never heard of it.
You people seldom have, but I do assure you, you will.
One of your Balkan states, I expect.
AIways in trouble with your peasants and your parliaments.
Well, perhaps we do mean the same person, only I call her EIizabeth.
Sturm, we cannot allow this.
I am so sorry, I have no idea where EIizabeth is.
I only wish I had.
Good evening, gentlemen.
I shouldn't go in there, it's seething withforeigners.
- You run away from us? - It seems the sensible thing to do.
Indeed! Otherwise we might end up fighting and I never fight.
- You surprise me.
Why not? - I amfar too afraid of getting hurt.
Ha! So this is the remarkable British pluck we are always hearing about? I say, old chap .
.
go easy on the old country, will you? To your old country! That'sfor England, old boy.
I told you I was afraid of getting hurt.
That's why I Iearned jujitsu.
Oh, well done, Lord Rowland! Right! You shall hear more of this! Sturm, come! That is your Iast word, Lord Rowland? I didn't speak.
You'II not tell us Her Highness's whereabouts? Confound it, man, I don't even know them myself.
This is not the end! You will be hearing from us.
(clicks heels) Good evening, Lord Rowland.
And good riddance! I shouldn't be surprised if you didn't start another world war, Lord Rowland.
(Elizabeth) Guardthis, Guard itwithyourlife.
Itisthekeyto everything, (door bangs) Good night! This is ridiculous.
What I need now is a spot of Ronald colman in Raffles.
(Elizabeth)FolLow him, George.
Seewhat hedoes andwhere he goes, Don'tlet him out ofyour sight.
Oh, evening, sir.
Er, just Iookingfor my cufflink.
Oh! Phew, a narrow escape.
Right, you fiend.
If you move now, I'II move with you.
And so to bed.
-(glass smashes) - What was that? Good Lord! Five o'clock? It's too early evenfor worms! (Elizabeth)FolLow him, George.
Seewhat hedoes andwhere he goes, Don'tlet him out ofyour sight.
(toiletflushes) Morning, sir.
Don't you ever sleep? Yes, sir.
Oh, my God! It's gone! It can't have! It's gone.
The one thing she told me to guard.
Youfool! You are a totalfailure at adventures.
Afailure at work,failure at Iife Oh, EIizabeth I'vefailedyou.
(insistentknocking) Oh, what the deuce?! - Oh, morning, sir.
- Good morning again.
What time is it? - It's seven o'clock, sir.
- Must you make all this din? I'm sorry, sir.
The gentleman asked to be called.
I cannot make him hear.
Well, use your pass key.
I have tried, sir, but I cannot make it fit.
That one.
A key in the other side, if you ask me.
Then what's happened to the gentleman? How on earth should I know? Well, I'm Good Lord! Whatever is it, sir? Look! This packet was stolen from my room Iast night and here it is returned.
- What does it contain? - I don't know.
Dash it all, somebody's opened it already, so It's Iunacy.
That's what it is, it's absolute Iunacy.
There's no sense anywhere.
It's a wedding ring.
(knocking) - The gentleman in number 25! -(muffled cries) There's a Iedge out here.
I'm going along.
(muffled cries /knocking) God bless you, sir, you're in your pyjamas! And what exactly is the correct attire for breaking and entering? (knocking) (muffled) Help! Help! PIease help me! Help! Help, help! (knocking) Help! PIease help! But you're not Who the devil are you? (muffledresponse) AIright, where's the other chap? The man with the beard, Iooks a Iittle Iike the King, God bless him? - Yeah, friend of yours, I suppose? - No, sir.
Now if you'd be so good, sir.
Oh, no.
No, not until I know just who you are.
I, sir, am Detective Inspector Jarrold of Scotland Yard.
- Are you really? - Do you mind, sir? - And you are? - Well, I scarcely know any more.
I'm I'm George Rowland of .
.
of no fixed address.
Not Lord Rowland of Rowlands Castle, then? Don't be silly.
Rowlands Castle's a station on the Portsmouth Iine.
I know that, sir.
Now, you'd be well advised to tell me all you know about this business.
Well, I'm not sure it makes much sense, Inspector.
Perhaps you'II Iet me be the judge of that, sir.
Well, it all started yesterday when I got the sack So I came along the Iedge and What were you doing in the wardrobe? Oh, the rogue temporarily got the better of me, sir.
As to the theft of the packet, I can explain that.
I popped into your bedroom when you were out chasing that bearded fellow to the bathroom, and borrowed it.
But why, Inspector, why? - Didn't trust you, sir.
- You didn't trust me? I'm awfully sorry, sir, but I thought you might be another accomplice.
Accomplice of whom? Chappie that has this room, sir.
He's known to us.
Really? What did you find in that bathroom skirting, sir? Well, I can't make head or tail of it, actually.
I think it's a a Iove Ietter.
A Iove Ietter, eh? May I Iook? It's in my room.
Oh, no, not again! Oh, you do need someone to Iook after you, sir! Well, at Ieast they didn't take this.
But what on earth were they after? Yes, I'm afraid it might have been that Iove Ietter.
Where did you put it? Where indeed? I was going to return it, and then I came in and discovered that EIizabeth's packet had gone and then Then I'm afraid I went to pieces a bit.
I say, I slipped it in here! Veryfortuitous, sir.
May I? I say, do you think you ought? It is a private Ietter.
As you say, sir, but I ratherfancy that if you drew a Iine from one dotted 'i' to another you'd get a very different result.
Really? I rather think, sir, that this is a plan of the Portsmouth Harbour defences.
Good Lord.
They've had their eye on itfor some time, sir.
Quite a gang, you know.
So that's what he was up to Iast night.
That's it.
He was out collecting information that helped him dot the 'i's, as you might say.
-(chuckles) - Inspector, you're brilliant.
Thank you, sir.
AII part of the job.
And Ifear we haven't got to the end of this yet, sir.
My men'II soon pick up this nasty bit of work, but he's got an accomplice.
Gets a woman to do all his dirty workfor him.
A woman? What's her name? We're not sure, nor what she Iooks Iike.
CIues, you know, sir.
But it is rumoured that she has very prettyfeatures and bright eyes and infact at the Yard we call her Betty Bright:Eyes.
- Why Betty? - Well, cos that's her name, sir.
He used it once on the telephone.
Just Betty, that's all.
"AIright, Betty?" he says.
"Keep up the good work, bright:eyes.
" So Betty Bright:Eyes she became.
Oh, EIizabeth Excuse me, sir? Here, you don't Iook very well, you know.
I don'tfeel very well, Inspector.
I'd better catch the first train back to town.
That'II be the slow train, sir.
You'd be better off waitingfor the express.
The slow train will suit me admirably, Inspector.
If you're quite sure you're alright, sir, I will pursue my enquiries.
There's still a Iot to be done.
The girl in the train The brightest eyes I've ever seen, I'II stake my Iife on it.
She's either Betty Bright:Eyes or the Grand Duchess of catonia .
.
or both! Seagulls cry) Are you the only cabbie in Portsmouth? Hard work's goodfor the soul, my old mum always said.
Oh, did she? Station, please.
Exhausted the delights of Portsmouth already, have you? - Did your friends find you Iast night? - I beg your pardon? - Gave a neat description of you.
- Who? Foreign chappies Iookingfor a handsome young chap.
Couldn't place you at that.
Then they mentioned Ericavagans, Got you at once.
Said he had a bit of weed stuck in his Iapel.
Got you at once.
- My white heather? - Ericavagans, pale mauve.
Nothing Iike white heather.
There's one born every minute.
What an extraordinaryfellow.
(man) Paper, sir? "The wedding took place yesterday of Lord James Gay, second son of the Marquis of Axminster and the Grand Duchess AIexa of catonia.
" "The ceremony was kept a profound secret.
" "The Grand Duchess has been Iiving in Paris with her uncle, Prince Osric, since the recent upheaval in Catonia.
" Oh, damn, damn, damn! "She met Lord James," the swine, "on a skiing holiday in Switzerland.
" Oh, EIizabeth.
EIizabeth, how could you do this to me? But that's not my EIizabeth.
It's nothing Iike her.
Or is it? Oh, EIizabeth - George.
- EIizabeth.
George! EIizabeth! Aren't you pleased to see me, George? For God's sake, tell me, are you the Grand Duchess of Catonia? Because if so, this is the most ghastly photograph of you! No.
- But you are Betty Bright:Eyes? - Who? Betty Bright:Eyes, a traitor to our country, but I'II get you out of this! George, what on earth are you doing? - Get under the seat.
- I will not! You've got to stay out of sight! George, will you Iisten to me? I am not Betty Bright:Eyes, whoever she may be.
You're not? And you're not the Grand Duchess AIexa? Who are you, EIizabeth? I'm EIizabeth Gay, and my brother James has just married the Grand Duchess, whom he Ioves dearly, but her uncle, Prince Osric, didn't want the marriage to take place.
There was a horrible plot afoot for her to marry her cousin, a frightful pimply person called Prince Karl.
- I met him.
- Whom AIexa hates.
- Sensible girl.
- We were doing splendidly yesterday, bowling through London to the registry office, when Prince Osric, AIexa's uncle, spotted us, and then I had the brilliant idea of changing places, acting as a decoy, Iike these ducks in shooting.
We changed hats and coats and with the collar up, one hardly glimpses a girl nowadays.
And it worked Iike a dream.
Prince Osric came pounding after me, Ieaving the Ioving couple to plight their troth.
- Lucky old them.
- And everything was fine, except that I met a dear, sweet man who wanted an adventure and I couldn't resist giving him one.
But you also gave me this.
AIexa bought a spare in case James forgot.
You know what men are Iike.
And I thought it would add to your mystery.
Well, it certainly did that! And then Sturm and Prince Karl came pounding back and said you were in Portsmouth.
I got the express this morning and here I am.
Just to see me? And to explain.
(knocking) Sir, just thought you'd Iike to know, meet Betty Bright:Eyes.
I say! - Morning, sir.
- Yeah, we got His Majesty too.
He could have got away, but he wouldn't Ieave Portsmouth Harbour without her.
It's amazing what Iove can do, innit, sir? Amazing.
Well, better be off, sir.
It's the express trainfor these two.
Are you quite sure you won't join us? - Quite sure.
-(whistLe blows) - We're off.
- Well, good Iuck, sir.
It's just Iike all those stories, so simple when you know how.
And why.
AII the same, seems deuced odd to me that a common cabbie would know the Latin namefor white heather.
It isn't white heather at all, it's quite mauve.
But very, very Iucky.