The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan (1972) s01e03 Episode Script

1
- [man scatting]
- [music plays]
[whistling]
- [whistling]
- [man scatting]
[whistling]
The Amazing Chan
[man scatting]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
[buzzer sounding]
That's the Chan plan
[whistling]
[whistling]
[whistling]
The Amazing Chan
and the Chan Clan
The Amazing Chan
Attaboy, Chu Chu!
Hang in there!
An amazing demonstration of
muscular coordination.
Especially for a [shouts]
More coordination and less talk
wouldn't hurt you any.
Boy, that one sure didn't
have any taste.
Don't lose your balance, Suzie.
Yeah, steady, steady
I've got it! I've got it!
Nice going, champ.
[buzzing]
Look, it's Pop!
Hey, Pop, wait for us!
- Maybe he didn't hear us.
- Stop him! Stop that man!
- He's a thief!
- Is she talking about Pop?
He's the one.
I saw him come out of the room.
- I don't believe it.
- My dear young lady,
you must be mistaken.
I've been right here
all afternoon.
I know what I saw.
You stole Mrs. Kingsley's
black pearls.
You better take that back.
[Charlie] Now, let's all cool
down for a moment.
[man] I'm sure this
can all be explained.
[officer] Well, you're the
manager, but thing is, Mr. Chan,
this lady says she's
got witnesses.
- [Charlie] Witnesses?
- [girl] Who?
Just point 'em out.
- These two right here.
- Henry! Stanley!
- What a couple of finks!
- That'll be enough of that.
- You saw me there?
- Yes, sir.
- We called but you
didn't answer.
- I see.
I'm sorry, Mr. Chan, but I think
you'd better come downtown
with me.
Wham, bam, are we in a jam!
The patrol car's right
over there, Mr. Chan.
You're not taking my pop
any place!
I'll have the heaper on the side
in five minutes, Pop.
The motor will be running,
make a break and we'll lose
the flat foot.
Now, just a minute, everybody.
There is a criminal here
who looks like me.
I will go down to police
headquarters and
straighten it out.
In the event they refuse to
believe in your innocence,
then what?
- We break him out.
- Right.
We better go, Officer, before
this unruly mob takes action.
[Tom] My emotions have reached
a state which makes it difficult
for me to conjugate calmly.
- In other words
- He's mad.
- I'll stash these where nobody
will find them.
- Right.
Hey, isn't that Pop?
- It looks like him, but
- It could be the man who's
impersonating Pop!
- What would he be
doing here now?
- Who knows?
Picking up those black pearls
he stole, maybe.
You know something?
With a little makeup,
he could pass for Pop.
- Let's go!
- It's those Chan kids.
I'll keep 'em off his back.
[Stanley] Psst! Henry!
I've been looking all
Will you stop those
ridiculous games!
[Stanley] Psst! Not so loud!
People will notice!
- If you think I'm gonna stand
here talking to a plant
- Listen!
I've got a suspect! I don't
want him to recognize me!
- Who?
- That bellhop!
[Henry] Yeah, put a mustache on
him, dress him in Pop's clothes,
could be.
[Stanley] I bet we follow him,
he leads us to the black pearls.
You gonna follow him disguised
as a potted palm?
- [Stanley] Of course not!
- [rattling]
- How's that?
- Listen, dumb-dumb
Just watch me.
- Morning, sonny.
- Good morning, Stanley.
- Been surfing today?
- Sharp eyes, that boy.
Spotted me right away.
Come on!
[up-tempo music plays]
[dolphins squeaking]
- Who was that?
- I don't know.
But whatever it was,
I don't want to see it again.
[growling]
Yikes!
[babbling]
[babbling]
Split, Stanley!
[panting] I think we lost him!
Then why are we running?!
[babbling]
- Yikes!
- Yow!
[babbling]
- It's him again!
- About face!
[babbling]
That's it.
I can't go another step.
Me too. [panting] I gotta rest,
no matter what happens!
- [twittering sound]
- What's that?
I'm not waiting to find out!
[laughs]
- What do you suppose that was?
- Fatso's accomplice, who else?
- [Hawaiian music plays]
- Sh! Hold it down.
- [indistinct chatter]
- [music continues]
- What's he doing at a luau?
- Can you think of a better
place to meet an accomplice?
We've gotta figure out some way
of getting closer.
[Stanley] Don't worry
about a thing, Henry.
They'll never notice me
in this disguise.
Of course not. They'll think
you're a tall fruit salad.
- [high-pitched voice]
Aloha, bubbie.
- Hey, wait a minute!
Come back here!
Wow!
- Aloha, cutie.
- Fresh.
- How about you and me dancing?
- Well, if you insist.
[music plays]
Well, if you'd rather dance
with a fruit salad,
the engagement is off!
Aloha and good riddance!
Well, easy come, easy go.
Hey, where'd she go?
Well, he's clean.
I knew it'd be a waste of time.
Oh, I don't know.
It wasn't a total loss.
[high-pitched] I'm engaged!
[laughs]
The way it lays out to me,
there's a second story man
working this pad.
Boy, if I could get
my hands on him
You just behave yourself,
Scooter.
I can't wait till
I'm seven years old,
so we'll be the same age.
No, we won't, 'cause by
that time, I'll be eight.
Well, we better get rolling.
The sooner we put the grab
on this hood,
the sooner we get Pop
out of the pokey.
- [cracking]
- Uh-oh!
- You think Suzie will be mad?
- [Scooter] Look, it's him!
We gotta get him! Nancy, you
grab that end of the net!
- [Flip] Get him! Grab that end!
- [Nancy] I got him, I got him!
- [Scooter] Hang on!
- [Flip] Don't let him go!
- [Nancy] I got his leg!
- [Mimi] No, you don't!
Your zeal does you credit,
but your eyesight could be
improved upon.
- That sounds like Pop.
- Is that you, Pop?
It is indeed.
Now, will you please release me?
We're sorry, Pop.
We didn't know it was you.
Wait a minute!
We still don't know.
Can you prove it?
When the time comes for your
allowance, I think there will
be a sufficiency of proof.
Yeah, that's Pop, all right.
[screams]
Help! Police! Robbery!
- What is it? What happened?
- It's him. He did it again.
- What did he do?
- Did what again?
He just robbed that room
and jumped out the window!
I saw him.
There he goes!
Let's get the Chan Van.
Maybe we can catch him.
Let's go!
- He just turned the corner.
- I see him.
I'd better change the van
so he won't recognize us.
- Hit Chan Plan Nine.
- Guided tour bus.
[buzzing]
Not bad, but I was thinking
more along the lines
- of an Eskimo sled.
- Just leave it alone
and watch that car.
[Stanley] He's heading
for the volcano!
[bubbling]
Henry, do we have a Chan Plan
that changes this
- into a helicopter?
- Of course not.
Then whatever you do,
don't make a sharp right turn!
There he goes! Hang on!
- Hit Chan Plan Six.
- I'll try! Ow! Ooh!
- Now what?
- Ow! I took a bite
out of my tongue!
Stanley, this is not time
to think about food!
- Hit Chan Plan Six!
- [buzzing]
- Is said six!
- I'm trying, I'm trying!
[buzzing]
[buzzing]
- [buzzing]
- That's it. Now leave it alone.
We're losing him, Henry!
Step on it!
I'm going as fast as I can!
Uh-oh!
What's the matter, Henry?
Two-two, two-two!
[Stanley] OK, how's this?
[Henry] No, you dumb-dumb!
Not a ballerina tu-tu!
- Plan Two!
- Why?
- [Henry] Don't ask questions,
just [gurgling]
- [buzzing]
You hit that button
just in time.
Black pearls!
[Suzie] The ones they said Pop
stole from Mrs. Kingsley.
Sure, that's the answer.
This guy's the fence.
He must have the rest of them
in his safe.
- Let's get 'em out!
- Scooter Chan, you stay away
from that man's safe.
Boy, if I was born first,
would you get it.
Cut it out, both of you.
I got a plan.
- Um, may I help you?
- I'd like to see something
in pearls, please.
- Black ones.
- Excuse me,
but how old are you?
Nine teen! My fiance wishes
to buy me some.
I'm sorry, the only black pearls
we have are those in the window.
- Oh. He only has two pearls.
- [Flip] Sh!
Thank you very much.
We'll let you know.
Something must have
made him suspicious.
- What?
- [Flip] I don't know.
We're not giving up
till we save Pop.
- What'll we do, Flip?
- I got another plan.
This one's surefire.
[man] Can I help you, young man?
[Flip] Uh-uh, just browsing.
OK, Chu Chu.
Make with the alarm bells.
[barks, imitates bells ringing]
Somebody must be trying
to crack your safe.
Oh, my!
[Chu Chu imitating bell ringing]
You check your black pearls yet?
We do not have any black pearls.
- Are you sure?
- Of course I'm sure.
Bye!
[Chu Chu imitating bell ringing]
OK, Chu Chu, let's go.
Will you knock it off?!
[panting]
- Mr. Chan.
- Good afternoon.
I have a feeling my children and
I are about to be dispossessed.
Oh, not at all. You're welcome
here until your innocence
is proved.
Thank you.
I would be most grateful. Yes.
That would be fine. Until then.
Goodbye.
A pleasure to have you with us,
Mrs. Vanningclay.
- Your suite is ready.
- [bell dings]
Front!
Oh, us, just a moment, please.
- You may take it now.
- Uh, Mrs. Vanningclay,
may I suggest that you put your
jewelry in the hotel vault?
Nonsense. Mr. Chan
is staying here, isn't he?
- Of course.
- Well, then, he knows
the value of my jewelry.
He'd never let anything
happen to it.
Whatever you say,
Mrs. Vanningclay.
- [bell dings]
- Front, boy! Room 346
for Mrs. Vanningclay.
[lock rattling]
[Mrs. Vanningclay] My goodness!
He looks exactly like you!
Wow! No wonder those finks
thought it was you.
- Who is he, Pop?
- A familiar figure.
- I never saw him.
- May I?
[air hissing]
And now, if I may have
my face back.
[Henry] Holy moly!
It's the manager!
- Who tipped you, Chan?
- You did, sir.
- Hey, that rubber tube
we found in the car.
- Exactly.
It's lucky Mrs. Vanningclay
was here with her jewels.
Not lucky at all, my dear.
Your father planned
the entire trap,
- using my jewelry as bait.
- Just proves that when you fool
with a Chan, you're in trouble.
[Stanley] And when it's two
Chans, it's double trouble!
[all laugh]
[up-beat music plays]
The way it lays out to me,
the manager ought to get
ten to 20. Right, Pop?
- Flip! Flip!
- Wait a minute, Scooter!
I'm talking to Pop!
Can't you wait till I'm through?
Flip, I suggest you listen
to your sister and brother.
All right. What do you want?
Oh, boy!
What should I do, Pop?
My first recommendation
is to learn to swim very fast,
- before they reach you.
- I'm taking my first lesson
right now.
[Chu Chu barking]