The Big Show Show (2020) s01e03 Episode Script

[upbeat pop music playing]
[upbeat pop music fades]
[gasps] He's handing out the final rose.
Gotta be Cheyenne.
Team J for sure.
What? So the girls who don't win
have to go back to teaching pilates?
- Shh!
- [audience laughs]
Okay, he's about to choose.
[static hisses]
- But! No!
- No!
- I wish I could swear.
- [Cassy sighs]
[audience laughs]
- [screen clicks]
- [all scream]
[audience laughs]
[Lola] Okay, guys,
it's just Dad and Terry.
[sighs] The last time they were
in the backyard together,
they blew up the barbecue.
If they come in here
and say they have huge news,
we're gonna have to move.
- Huge news.
- [audience laughs]
Well, we've had a good run.
- Everyone, grab their passports.
- [audience laughs]
My friend came up
with an amazing invention.
Terry, you have le floor.
[Terry sighs] Well I,
Terrence Malick Jr. III,
have created the world's first
partially functioning gator-cam.
It's a state-of-the-art
alligator home defense system,
with built in tranq darts,
and gator repellent spray.
Now, all we have to do is
sit back and wait for the alligators.
[audience laughs]
[continued laughing]
Question in the back.
How do the Gators know to come here?
- [audience laughs]
- Come on, Cassy, they're really smart.
[chuckles] There's a reason people say,
"Smart as a gator."
[audience laughs]
[rustling and thudding on screen]
Oh, I told you the tape wouldn't hold!
We'll use a nail gun. I go first.
- We'll pull the trigger together!
- [audience laughs]
So, what are you girls doing today?
Well, I am putting the finishing touches
- on my campaign announcement video.
- I thought you're running unopposed.
I am, since Tina got Lyme disease
and has to take seven naps a day.
- [audience laughs]
- But I don't want to run a lazy campaign.
I mean, no offense to Tina.
- [audience laughs]
- [chuckles] JJ?
I have to make copies of a batch of keys.
[audience laughs]
I was actually thinking
about getting my nails done.
I haven't been able to find a good place
since I moved.
Oh! You should totally go to my place.
I'll make us an appointment.
Oh, great! I'm in.
Awesome!
Just two cool cats
getting their claws done. [chuckles]
- [audience laughs]
- On second thought
You know what? [stammers] No, just us.
No cool cats. Just, uh, two sassy sisters,
and I can't stop.
[audience laughs]
[Terry on screen] Gator! Gator! Gator!
[Big Show on screen]
It won't stop going off!
- [spray hisses]
- [Big Show screams]
- [audience laughs]
- Dad got the spray in the face.
- [Terry] I got you, Show!
- [Big Show yells]
[Terry] Ah! I'm hit.
Ah! Terry just got hit by a tranq dart.
- Ouch.
- Yes!
[audience laughs]
[Big Show yells in pain]
[audience laughs]
- [Mandy winces] Ouch.
- [Terry on screen] Gator! Gator!
- So, what else is on?
- [audience laughs]
- [bells ding]
- [upbeat opening credits playing]
- [opening credits fade]
- [Cassy] Okay,
- here we go.
- Ooh! Papa loves some brie.
No, no. This is for JJ's teacher.
She's on her way to our house
to talk about something JJ did.
Oh, it's gotta be bad
if she's coming by the house.
- Mm.
- God, I hope JJ didn't blackmail
the PTA again.
- [audience laughs]
- [doorbell rings]
[Cassy exhales] Okay.
[both inhale and exhale deeply]
[audience laughs]
[both upbeat] Hi!
Would you like some cheese?
Ah, can't do cheese.
It blows right through me.
[audience laughs]
Uh, so,
what did you have to come
all the way over here to talk about?
Oh, your house is just on the way
to my kickball league.
We're the One Kick Wonders.
We're 0 and 14. Maybe you've heard of us?
[audience laughs]
Well, on the topic of JJ,
all the kids were given
their standardized tests
Oh, God, did she skip the test
because she thinks only God can judge her?
[audience laughs]
No, it's not that.
Actually, JJ scored off the charts.
Mr. and Mrs. Wight,
your daughter is technically a genius.
- [both laugh hysterically]
- [audience laughs]
[continued laughing]
[laughing intensifies]
- [audience laughs]
- [both exhale from exhaustion]
I had the same reaction.
As did the teachers, the administration,
and the janitorial staff.
- [audience laughs]
- But this is real.
[chuckling] But how?
Her grades are not good.
You know, we think JJ hasn't been
intellectually challenged enough.
We'd like to move her
into the accelerated program immediately.
Wow, my daughter's going to be
in the smart kids class?
Ha!
JJ could be the next Steve Jobs.
Or she could go full evil genius.
She has dressed as Gru from Despicable Me
for almost every career day.
[audience laughs]
This really could go either way.
Ah. But with JJ,
it could really only go one way
- [all inhale together] Life of crime.
- [audience laughs]
[formal ceremonial music playing]
And as your lower school president,
I can guarantee you one thing,
every day will be a new "Manday".
[Mandy narrating] Not affiliated
with Man Day, Tampa's hottest men's club.
[audience laughs]
Thank you.
It is an honor
to be your president.
- Thank you.
- [chuckles] Hold on.
We have another candidate.
Uh, Mrs. Goodpasture,
I thought I was running unopposed.
I object.
Mandy, calm down. It's not a court of law,
it's barely an election.
- [audience laughs]
- I am excited to announce
that our very own Taylor Swift
- has decided to run.
- [yelling] Yeah!
[Taylor] Alright!
[Taylor] Yeah!
- [feet shuffling] Aye!
- [audience laughs]
Thanks, Ms. G.
Oh! Dope brooch by the way.
Thank you, Taylor.
[audience laughs]
I want you guys to know
that I'm not just running
on my name alone,
but it would be in my wildest dreams
to be your prez.
If you want to write my name
in that blank space, cool,
but if you vote for Mandy,
- I'll totally shake it off.
- [audience laughs]
- There will be no bad blood between us.
- [audience laughs]
- Thank you.
- [classmates cheering]
Okay, guys. Guys.
He's just naming songs.
I can do that, too.
Mustang, Camaro, Corvette.
[whispers] Those are cars.
I know.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
- [Cassy and Lola giggling]
- [Lola] I know.
Have you been sitting on the couch
all day watching the gator-cam on TV?
Yeah, I fluffed the pillows too,
and I'm a little hurt you didn't notice.
[audience laughs]
So, how was the nail date?
It was so much fun.
Your wife is kinda awesome.
That's me,
kinda awesome wife. [giggles]
Thanks for taking me, Cass.
I'm gonna go upstairs and do my homework.
Okay, don't forget to send me
that viral video of Halle Graham later.
Who's Halle Graham?
She's this amazing singer
who's coming to Tampa for a concert.
And Halle isn't real,
she's a hologram flower
who's doing legit great stuff
with neon these days.
- [audience laughs]
- [timidly] What?
[audience laughs]
Hey, maybe I could get us tickets?
Would you want to go with me?
Wait, seriously?
- Yeah.
- Yes!
I'd love to see Halle live.
Thanks, Cass.
[Cassy chuckles and sighs]
You know, I gotta admit,
I love seeing you two spend time together.
[exhales] Me too.
Now that Lola's living with us,
I think it's important
that we have the right relationship.
Like Like a friend relationship.
The last thing I want to be
is the lame stepmom.
You, lame? Never.
You got that t-shirt with the dog
and the sunglasses that says,
- "This puppy loves to party."
- [audience laughs]
That t-shirt used to get me invited
on a lot of boats.
- [audience laughs]
- Sup, fools?
- [continued laughing]
- Heard you wanted to talk to me.
I have two minutes.
- [watch beeps]
- Go.
- [audience laughs]
- [Cassy and Big Show scoff]
So, your mom and I had a meeting
with Miss Regie.
They wanna move you
into the school's accelerated program.
Honey, you are gonna be surrounded
by people who will open your mind
to all of the amazing possibilities
in your future.
Hard pass.
- [audience laughs]
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. JJ. Come here.
- [Big Show] Come on.
- [audience laughs]
Well, just give this a shot.
Take the tour with me tomorrow.
Fine. For you, big man,
I'll give it a ride.
[watch beeps, then stops]
Your two minutes are up. I'm outtie.
[audience laughs]
[door closes]
Hi, sweetie. How was your day?
It was a disaster!
I'm gonna lose my election
to Taylor Swift.
[excitedly] T Swizzle goes to your school?
- [audience laughs]
- Dad, that Taylor Swift is like 30.
I'm talking about the super popular boy
in my class
who's already doing really well
just because he's using T Swift songs
as his campaign slogans.
Mandy, honey, you are very persuasive.
Kids listen to you.
All you need to do is tell them
why you are the right candidate.
- If you do that
- [gasps] You're right, Mom.
I'm gonna convince Taylor
to drop out of the race.
- What? No, no. That's not what I
- Thanks, Mom. Great advice.
[audience laughs]
You know, I went to high school
with a guy named Don Cheadle.
Nope, his name was Ron Beadle.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[upbeat pop music fades]
[JJ sniffing]
Yeah, this is not gonna work for me.
It smells like lemons in here,
and lemons are for losers.
- [audience laughs]
- [chuckles] Okay, JJ, come on.
Let's try to be a little open-minded.
I think this will be great for you.
Oh, we find the scent of lemon
to foster creativity. [chuckles]
Hello, JJ, my name is Xavier MacDaniel,
but the kids call me
- Professor X!
- [audience laughs]
Yeah, I'm never doing that.
- [audience laughs]
- I will, Professor X.
[Big Show chuckles] Ooh!
What is this? Hmm
Professor X,
is this a map of the human genome?
Well, actually,
its technical term is
expandy ball.
- [audience laughs]
- [Big Show] Ooh!
- Ooh
- [continued laughing]
[Big Show laughs maniacally]
He's easy to impress.
What else you got, X-man?
Oh, lots of stuff.
We have our own internet,
a robotics salon, a 3-D printer, and
I think I should let you know
that we let our students
work at their own pace.
So I could do what I want?
Well, legally, no. But, uh,
Jessica is taking
the Florida State bar exam,
so she can cover you
while you do anything you want.
[audience laughs]
Okay, Professor X,
I'll play your game. Dad,
- I got it from here.
- [audience laughs]
[chuckles] This thing's really stuck
on here.
- [audience laughs]
- Uh You got a stick of butter?
You know what?
I'll just Amazon Prime you a new one.
[audience laughs]
[dance pop music playing]
- [dance pop music softens]
- I'm sorry. [giggles]
[giggles] I can't believe we're here.
Me neither.
And I got this fun neon streak in my hair
that definitely won't wash out in time
for the meeting tomorrow with my boss.
- [giggles]
- Worth it.
[audience laughs]
Hey, Lola.
Happy Halle show.
Happy Halle.
Uh, Cassy,
this is Becka and Meredith.
- Hi!
- They go to school with me.
This is Cassy, my stepmom.
It is high-key so cool
that you brought Lola to the HG show
on a school night. [giggles]
We had to sneak out.
Our moms would never let us do that.
[scoffs] Regular moms blow.
- [girls laughing]
- [audience laughs]
[pulsing dance music playing]
[robotic female voice]
Wi-Fi For Life-i ♪
- [crowd cheering]
- Wi-Fi For Life-i ♪
OMG!
She's opening with "Wi-Fi For Life-i".
This is epic!
[audience laughs]
Wi-Fi For Life-i ♪
I'm on high ♪
- [continued cheering]
- [audience laughs]
Fully charged ♪
Your facial recognition ♪
Unlocks my love ♪
Upload your heart to the cloud above ♪
[crowd whooing]
Wi-Fi For Life-i ♪
- [song fades]
- [car rumbles past]
[Lola] Thank you.
- That was awesome.
- [giggles]
I love that we're spending time together.
I didn't know you were this cool.
- Neither did I. [chuckles]
- [audience laughs]
I can't believe you crowd-surfed.
[laughs] know, right?
I was actually just trying
to get to the ladies' room.
- [both laugh]
- [audience laughs]
How sick are these Halle Graham hoodies?
[scoffs] The sickest.
What does the emblem mean?
Positivity, tolerance, gratitude,
mindfulness, and support the troops.
- [audience laughs]
- [chuckles] Wow, Halle really is
the computer-generated voice
of your generation.
- [audience laughs]
- A lot of peeps are getting her emblem
as a tattoo. I've always wanted one.
Oh, seriously? Me too.
My dad would never let me get one.
[groans] Your dad is the worst.
- [audience laughs]
- I mean, love of my life, but the worst.
He says no to everything, but me,
I'm a yas queen.
[audience laughs]
Wait, are you saying
we should get tattoos together?
I, um
[clicks tongue] I wasn't.
- Oh. Yeah, right.
- [chuckles]
Sorry, for a second,
I forgot I was talking to my stepmom.
- [laughs]
- Forget it.
You know, [stammers] I'm barely a stepmom.
I'm really more like a friend,
- and a friend would definitely say yes.
- So, you're saying we can do it?
It really does sound like it!
- I can't believe it!
- I can't believe it either!
Thank you! Oh, thank you. Thank you.
- I'm gonna go tell Meredith and Becka.
- Okay, and I'm gonna go tell
probably a judge
when I get arrested for this.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
Don't say anything about my hair.
All I was gonna say
is it must be getting younger,
'cause instead of going gray,
you're going neon.
- [audience laughs]
- Okay, well you can always
say that about my hair.
[audience laughs]
So, what have you and Lola got next?
[sighs] Not sure yet.
Nothing on the books.
Definitely nothing in permanent ink.
Why would anyone put anything
in permanent ink?
- [audience laughs]
- Good question.
- Oddly specific, still good question.
- [laughs]
- [audience laughs]
- Sup, jabronis?
It's smart kids' class day,
and you're looking at
the queen of the word nerds.
- [audience laughs]
- Did you see what she's wearing?
Steve Jobs wore a turtleneck.
- Our little genius is good.
- [audience laughs]
Cassy, thanks again for last night.
- I have a bunch of ideas for when
- [Cassy] Mm!
Ideas are great
to talk about in the car!
Let's go, come on.
Uh, Cassy?
- Yeah.
- Come here. [chuckles]
[inhales] I may be seven feet tall,
400 pounds,
but I wasn't born yesterday.
Although I was born over several days.
[audience laughs]
What's going on?
All right, I, uh [sighs]
I might have lightly suggested
that I go with Lola
- to get a [muffled] tattoo. [coughs]
- Your hand's covering your mouth.
- [sneezes]
- Bless you. Once more?
- [muffled] Tattoo.
- Still can't hear it.
- [audience laughs]
- [Cassy sighs]
- Tattoo.
- Tattoo.
- Yeah.
- [screams] What? No!
No, I know! I know.
But I was caught up in the moment.
She is finally seeing me as someone cool,
and if I said no to the tattoo,
it would ruin it.
I don't care.
She's 15. Lola cannot get a tattoo.
Well, not with that attitude!
- [audience laughs]
- Okay, you know what?
Fine, I will fix it.
We'll get belly button rings.
What is wrong with you?
- [squealing] I don't know!
- [audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[students laughing]
Taylor, could I, uh, talk to you
alone?
Sorry.
This election thing is cool.
People keep saying
they're gonna vote for me.
Democracy is so chill.
- [audience laughs]
- It's actually the opposite of chill.
Walk with me.
[audience laughs]
I'm not sure you know,
but being Lower School president,
it's a lot of work.
Really? 'Cause I thought
it was just golfing
with other Lower School presidents.
[sighs] Oh, no.
It's so much more than that.
You have to stay after school
almost every day.
But I have lacrosse practice.
Not anymore.
Plus, your lunches will all be taken up
meeting with different school groups.
Aw, but that's when I hit the kiln
to relax and throw pottery.
- [audience laughs]
- Did you know my moms own
three Color Me Mines?
Yes, I've been
to ten birthday parties there.
- It's very well run. Point is,
- [audience laughs]
being president is all about
making people happy, all the time.
For example,
I spent three hours making brownies
for the vegan club meeting.
I mean, do you want to do that?
[chuckles] No way.
Man, you know so much
about all this stuff.
You'd make an awesome president.
I think I'm just going
to vote for you. Later.
[audience laughs]
- Whoo! You go, girl. [taps feet]
- [audience laughs]
[dramatically] Mandy!
[audience laughs]
[less dramatically] Mandy!
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[music fades]
[audience laughs]
JJ, what are you doing?
Going still so you don't see me.
- [audience laughs]
- JJ, for the last time, I'm not a T-Rex,
- you cannot Jurassic Park me.
- [audience laughs]
Ugh. How did you know I was home?
Well, [sighs] one,
I saw you on the gator-cam,
- [audience laughs]
- and two, the school called.
Said someone called pretending
to be your dad, said you were home sick.
- [whoosh]
- [distorted voice] Hello,
this is JJ's large and tall dad
who smells like cheese.
[audience laughs]
JJ will not be in attendance today.
She has a headache.
- [audience laughs]
- [JJ's voice] What?
She still has to come to school?
[clears throat]
[distorted voice] What about lice?
[audience laughs]
Thank you.
[audience laughs]
But I thought you were excited
about your smart kids class.
I was excited, but then I got there,
and I don't know
everyone there's so smart,
and I got freaked out.
I'm usually the smartest kid in class.
You got scared?
You never get scared.
I know I look tough on the outside,
but inside I'm still an eight-year-old,
which reminds me,
I think I swallowed a Lego earlier today.
[audience laughs]
[laughs] Not the first time,
- and it won't be the last. But, sweetie,
- [audience laughs]
[sighs heavily] you can't hide from stuff
that scares you.
Sometimes you just gotta do stuff
you're afraid of.
That's easy for you to say.
You're not afraid of anything.
[takes a deep breath] Okay,
I'm gonna admit something to you.
Uh, ooh [winces]
It's a lot harder than I thought. Wow.
- [audience laughs]
- [inhales] JJ, [sighs]
I'm afraid of mascots.
[JJ cackles]
- [audience laughs]
- [laughing] Oh!
Oh
[audience laughs]
You're serious.
- [sighs]
- For real? Mascots?
They're like the cutest thing ever!
No, they are terrifying upright animals
that wear people clothes
and shoot cannons in your face.
[awestruck] And no one should be able
to dunk that high.
[audience laughs]
Dad, that's kind of crazy.
- [exhales heavily]
- Wait, is that why we've never been
to Disney World?
Yes, that's their kingdom.
[audience laughs]
Well I really wanna go to Disney World,
so let's make a deal.
- [takes a deep breath]
- I'll go back to smart kids class
if you face your fear of mascots.
Okay.
Should we pinkie swear on it?
Uh, yeah, if you want it to be legit.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[music fades]
[indistinct chatter]
Taylor.
He is stealing my endorsement.
[audience laughs]
Yo, what's up? All these kids are so nice.
Being vegan is pretty sick.
Don't you dare, "Yo, what's up?
These kids are so nice.
- Being vegan is pretty sick," me!
- [audience laughs]
Why are you here?
Oh! Well, I talked to my moms,
and they convinced me
to stay in the race.
Apparently, it's important to, like,
not give up on stuff.
I don't know.
- [audience laughs]
- [sighs] I cannot believe
you stole my idea
of making vegan brownies.
Those aren't mine.
I made cookies and they aren't even vegan.
They have mad eggs in them.
[audience laughs]
[sets plate down]
You know what, Taylor?
I am glad you decided to stay in the race.
- [huffs]
- Really? Because you look angry.
- [audience laughs]
- Oh, no.
I'm grateful because Oprah says,
"You have to take your adversity
and use it as fuel
to make your dreams come true."
So, thank you for pushing me
to be my best self.
Thank you for forcing me
to rise to the occasion
[louder] and thank you
for opening my eyes
to how the real world works.
- Oh.
- [huffing]
[upbeat] You're welcome!
- [audience laughs]
- Don't say you're welcome!
[upbeat pop music plays, then fades]
I'm nervous, Dad.
What if they make fun of me?
JJ
[laughs] if those kids aren't smart enough
to see how amazing you are,
then they don't belong in this class.
All you've got to do
is take the first step.
[indistinct chatter]
JJ, right? Glad you're back.
Check out this app I made.
Hey, can you build a computer code
that could break
a two-bit encrypted security system?
If you give me a children's Red Bull,
I could do it in an hour.
- [audience laughs]
- Sweet.
You could be useful.
[audience laughs]
You were right, Dad. Thank you.
I'm gonna be okay.
[clicks tongue] I know you are.
What's your name again?
- Bjorn.
- Cool, I'm gonna call you Slider.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[doorbell rings]
[music fades]
- [grunting]
- [audience laughs]
JJ, they found us. Pack your stuff.
We're going out the back.
[audience laughs]
Why'd you hit me, Show?
How does it know my name?
- [audience laughs]
- It's Terry. I asked him to come over.
This is your mascot intervention.
Nope, not happening.
[audience laughs]
- [Terry groans]
- You pinkie swore.
I faced my fear,
and now it's time to face yours.
I hate that a pinkie
- is a legally binding contract.
- [audience laughs]
Terry's gonna sit next to you.
- Wait. I am?
- Yes.
- [Terry scoffs]
- [audience laughs]
There's nothing to be afraid of.
It's just your friend, Terry
in a costume.
[audience laughs]
- Hey, just Terry.
- [audience laughs]
[inhales and exhales deeply]
Good grief. Doing this for free.
[audience laughs]
[Terry grunts]
- [Big Show inhales sharply]
- Ah. Still Terry.
[audience laughs]
Kind, gentle, breakable
[hushed] Terry.
[audience laughs]
[enthusiastically] Good job!
- I'm proud of you, buddy. [grunts]
- [grunts]
- [audience laughs]
- [Terry groans]
Dad!
I don't like it when they talk.
[audience laughs]
Sweetie, you can't hide
from what scares you.
Sometimes we gotta do stuff
we're afraid of.
That is literally what I said to you.
- [audience laughs]
- Even the sweetie part.
- [audience laughs]
- Well, it was good advice.
Dad, I know you can do this.
I believe in you.
Aw
Thanks, baby.
[inhales and exhales deeply]
Okay, you know what?
We're not gonna leave this house
until I'm over my fear of mascots.
Show, I'm here for you, buddy.
But I think you should know,
I do not have great health insurance.
[audience laughs]
[upbeat pop music playing]
[music fades]
Ah! Looks like it's closed.
Chalk another one up to gentrification.
Thanks a lot, Whole Foods.
- [audience laughs]
- Well, let's go.
But we're literally inside,
the lights are on,
- [sighs]
- and the guy's right there.
Hey, I'm Rene.
[sputters] Rene? Oh, no, no, no.
No, we can't get a tattoo
from a dude named Rene.
No offense.
- [audience laughs]
- That's a little hurtful,
but I'll look past it.
What are you guys thinking about?
I got a, uh, special on snakes
and the Frasier logo.
[audience laughs]
Do you have anything without snakes,
Mr. Rene?
It's kind of what I'm known for.
- [audience laughs]
- You know what?
Since we don't know what we want,
we'll come back when we do. Or never.
What about the Halle Graham emblem?
With the date we went to the concert
inside the heart?
[sighs heavily] Shoot,
that's a great idea,
and really meaningful to us.
Yeah, everything's meaningful
till the next morning.
I once tattooed the Taco Bell chihuahua
on a guy's face.
[audience laughs]
Okay, who wants the hot seat?
- [audience laughs]
- Uh I'll start. Um
Okay, um [chuckles]
What I want is a
is a really sharp needle
just stabbed into my skin
- [audience laughs]
- with ink that will last forever
and ever, and ever.
- So a tattoo.
- [audience laughs]
Yeah, I can do that.
And here we go.
- [Cassy groans]
- [inker buzzes]
[screaming] Ah, Rene, stop!
- [audience laughs]
- Okay, no, we cannot get tattoos today.
Oh, I hate to do this,
but I have got to be the mom here
[stammers] and say no.
- Oh, thank God. I don't want one either.
- [Cassy] What?
I only did it
because I thought you wanted to!
You were gonna do that?
Well, yeah, [stammers]
I didn't want to be the lame stepmom,
I wanted to be your cool friend.
Thank you, but you know what?
This whole thing made me realize
I don't think I want you as a friend.
[stammering] That's little harsh.
- [audience laughs]
- No, no, no.
I just mean,
my mom was really young when she had me,
and we spent so much time together.
And she was kind of like your friend.
- Yeah.
- [Cassy] Hm.
And I love spending time with you,
but if it's okay,
I wouldn't mind
if you were more just like a mom
- than a friend.
- [Cassy] Well,
I can do that. Come here.
[Cassy chuckles]
[strained] That is so sweet.
[audience laughs]
Thank you for your time, Rene,
but we will not be doing tattoos today.
I, uh did put needle to skin,
so you do have a little dot tattoo
on your arm.
I have an idea.
[upbeat pop music playing]
[music fades]
I kind of want to know,
but I definitely know
I don't want to know.
Somebody got over his fear
of mascots today.
- [Lola laughs]
- Way to go!
Does that mean
we can go to Disney World now?
Well, baby steps.
Let's start with the guy
in the banana peel costume
hanging out
in front of the T-Mobile store.
- [audience laughs]
- What did you guys do today?
Got tattoos.
- Cassy, I thought we
- No, no. Relax.
Relax. We just got matching dots
on our arm.
How much you pay?
I'd had done it for free
with a sharpie and a hot nail.
- [audience laughs]
- Not really how tattoos work, Terry.
- Tell that to my cousins.
- [audience laughs]
We did it as a bonding thing.
That we'll never do again
but will last forever.
That's awesome. I love that.
Oh! How was JJ's first day
in smart kids class?
Good, great.
She actually invited
some of the kids over to hang
Check it out.
Oh, no.
I'll stay in the kitchen, Show.
I don't like kids.
They get me punched, they get me sick,
they cut the line down at the water slide.
They're gross. Thanks.
[audience laughs]
I think the easiest point of entry
into the candy factory
- is the east
- [papers rustle]
- [audience laughs]
- [JJ] Hey,
could my friends and I get a snack?
Some chips, fruit, grapes,
and bananas?
- [all together] Bananas!
- [audience laughs]
- She's wearing a scarf.
- She's got minions.
And they asked for bananas.
[all together] Bananas!
[Big Show and Cassy] She's a Gru!
- [audience laughs]
- [door opens]
I am going to destroy Taylor Swift!
[footsteps thudding]
I'm gonna grab a bottle of wine,
and I will see you on Monday.
- [audience laughs]
- Good luck.
[upbeat ending credits playing]
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