The Boys Presents: Diabolical (2022) s01e03 Episode Script
I'm Your Pusher
- [BOTTLES RATTLING]
- [HEAVY PANTING]
[WHIMPERING]
[GROWLING]
[GUNSHOT]
[RAVE MUSIC THUMPING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [RAVERS CLAMORING]
[HIGH-PITCHED DRONING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
[GROANING]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
Ugh. Fuck off, already.
[GRUNTS]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
The fuck, man?
Go the fuck away!
[PANTING]
- All right, my son?
- [GRUNTS]
- Know who I am?
- Who?
Good. Let's keep it that way.
[GRUNTS]
Jesus.
BUTCHER: Oswald Daneeka.
Drug dealer
to the superhuman community.
- Whatever they want, you get.
- Exactly, motherfucker.
So you know who I can call
and what they can do to you.
So get the fuck out of here,
before I
Where do you keep
all the dead kids' blood, then?
Eh? Up here?
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.
'Course you do.
Dead kids' blood, you know,
from leukemia
and fibrosis and that.
The big metal cunt, Ironcast,
he drinks it recreationally.
Says he can taste the despair.
[GRUNTS]
Also says it's the only thing
that raises the flag
these days.
[CHUCKLES]
"Oh, fuck, he knows.
How the fuck can he know? How?"
But I know everything, mate,
rest assured.
I know you get crystal
for them two muppets,
A-Train and Jack from Jupiter.
I know you get Queen Maeve
her happy pills.
And I know you get coke
for that cunt the Homelander.
Cut with human adrenaline,
the way he likes it.
Wonder who that comes from?
Never mind.
It pays for all this,
doesn't it?
Oh, and don't you supply
the Great Wide Wonder?
'Course, he's not
one of the Seven,
but a customer's a customer, right?
Tell me something, son.
What's he into?
I'm not telling you
a fucking thing.
Okay. All right. All right!
Enemas.
Is that right?
O.D.: Heroin enemas, man.
I'm the only one he trusts
to fix them right.
Okay, and here we go.
[SIGHS]
[HUMMING]
[MOANING]
[LAUGHS]
Stroll on.
Well, when you're doing
what only you can do for him,
you're gonna make sure
this finds its way into the mix.
O.D.: What is that?
It's something a mad French
bastard I know came up with.
Said it'll suit the Great Wide
Wonder right down to the ground.
O.D.: Okay.
Okay, I mean,
I guess I don't have a choice, do I?
Die, you old fucker!
[GRUNTS]
No, no, no, please.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, God! Oh, God, no.
No, no, no!
You'll believe a cunt can fly.
Except you won't.
[SCREAMING]
Aah! Oh, God. Please. Oh, fuck.
- [SCREAMS]
- [GRUNTS]
[CHUCKLES]
Come on, O.D.
What bloody use would you be to
me spread all over the street
like strawberry jam?
Nah, what I'll do
if you don't slip this shit
to the Great Wide Wanker
is call a nasty bastard I know
at the D.E.A.
You know what your supes
will do for you then, don't ya?
- Oh, geez, fuck
- Fuck off at warp factor nine,
that's what they'll do,
leaving you on your Jack Jones.
And you know
where you'll end up after that?
Prison, where you'll spend
the rest of your days
with huge and horrible men
using you as a condom
while they make huge
and horrible love.
I'll be in touch.
You just make sure
he gets the good news
like I told you.
Oh, Jesus, man.
What did I do to deserve this?
[LAUGHING]
Come on, Terror.
Off we go, mate.
[GROANS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
Oh, fuck.
[EXHALES]
[PANTING]
- [BARKING]
- [GRUNTS]
BUTCHER: Sorted?
Good.
Who's this fucking guy?
The strong, silent type.
Oh [CHUCKLES]
Very funny.
This is fucking dangerous, man.
What if they spot me?
They'll know I spiked his shit.
BUTCHER: No one's gonna be
looking at us, believe me.
And I didn't want you to miss
all the fun you helped stir up.
WOMAN: Hello, New York.
BUTCHER: Speaking of.
Are you ready to give it up
for the greatest heroes
the world has ever known?
From the Seven,
Jack from Jupiter!
- Hello, Earthlings. Cheerio!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
Thank you, thank you.
Queen Maeve!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- [SIGHS]
Kill me.
[CHUCKLES]
Fucking hate this.
And the man himself,
- the Homelander!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
Good morning!
- MAN: Homelander!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Great to see you.
We're here to recognize a hero
who shines so brightly,
we can wait no longer
to bestow upon him
our very highest honor.
- [CHEERING]
- [CLAMORING]
Please welcome
the Great Wide Wonder!
[CROWD CHEERING]
Yeah!
[WHOOPS]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Are we gonna do this?!
All right. Yeah!
- [MUFFLED] Great Wide Wonder!
- [HEARTBEAT THUMPING RAPIDLY]
Where my people?!
[SNIFFLES]
[WHOOPS]
Super Hero Hall of Fame!
Okay. How far he has come.
How high he has flown.
Through the fiery crucible
of battle he has soared and
- [WHOOPING]
- And-And so
we induct him
into the Superhero Hall of Fame!
As he flies
through the flaming ring
held aloft by Ironcast.
[MEN CHANTING OVER DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GRUNTS]
And now, let the Great Wide Wonder soar.
Papa needs a new pair of shoes!
[CROWD CHEERING]
[SIGHS]
Why, man?
I mean, why do you want to fuck
with these fucking guys anyway?
Your mate there--
the Great Wide Wonder--
he was at a party last year.
Private celebration
after he gave
the commencement address
at Columbia.
Took a couple
of honor students for
well, I suppose you'd call it
a flying fuck.
Thing is, it's a bit
fucking cold way up there.
By the time they twigged,
he didn't give a shit,
that it was part
of the fun for him,
it was too late.
As far as we know,
they're still up there in orbit.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Never heard anything like that.
Everyone we know's got
a story like that.
- What is it he does, anyway?
- He flies really fast.
You know, "Ride around the world
with the Great Wide Wonder,"
and all that.
[LAUGHING, WHOOPING]
- [CHEERING]
- [SONIC BOOM]
Yes, but there's fast,
and then there's
I'd say about Mach 1.5.
[LAUGHING]
[PANTING, WHOOPING]
- [WHOOPS]
- [CROWD SCREAMS]
- Ow!
- Ow, fuck me.
Mach 2.
[BARKING]
[GREAT WIDE WONDER WHOOPING]
[PANTING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
[LAUGHING]
[GRUNTS]
Aah!
- [SCREAMING]
- [CLAMORING]
- Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
- Holy shit.
What the fuck?!
[RETCHES]
[GURGLING]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Oh, my God!
- [SCREAMS]
- [RETCHES]
Jings, Frenchie.
What'd you put in that stuff?
HOMELANDER: What in the fucking Christ was that?!
What do we fucking do now?
The usual?
[SIGHS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hidden in the light of the sun.
Kroll war satellite!
I see it. I see the ship.
- Where?
- There! Look right in the sun.
What?
By the many moons of my home world.
Galaxius has returned once more.
But the Great Wide Wonder?
All we can do now is avenge him.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
BUTCHER: Quick thinking, Wonder Tits.
Oh. [GROANS]
Oh, I'm gonna be sick.
Yeah. Quite a result, wasn't it?
Two for the price of one.
Right. We'll be in touch, mate.
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[GROANS]
[CURTIS MAYFIELD: "PUSHERMAN"]
BUTCHER: I was thinking you might be O.D.'s handler.
- Oh, thanks a million.
- Come on, Hughie.
Think of the fun to be had.
I mean, spiking supes, mate.
You're trying to tell me
you didn't enjoy that?
[♪♪♪]
[SOBBING]
- Define "enjoy."
- [BUTCHER LAUGHS]
I'm your mama, I'm your daddy,
I'm that in the alley ♪
I'm your doctor when in need,
want some coke? ♪
Have some weed,
you know me, I'm your friend ♪
Your main boy,
thick and thin ♪
I'm your pusherman ♪
I'm your pusherman ♪
Ain't I clean, bad machine ♪
Super cool, super mean ♪
Dealin' good for The Man, superfly ♪
Here I stand,
secret stash, heavy bread ♪
Baddest bitches in the bed ♪
I'm your pusherman ♪
- [BOTTLES RATTLING]
- [HEAVY PANTING]
[WHIMPERING]
[GROWLING]
[GUNSHOT]
[RAVE MUSIC THUMPING]
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [RAVERS CLAMORING]
[HIGH-PITCHED DRONING]
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
[GROANING]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
Ugh. Fuck off, already.
[GRUNTS]
[KNOCKING CONTINUES]
The fuck, man?
Go the fuck away!
[PANTING]
- All right, my son?
- [GRUNTS]
- Know who I am?
- Who?
Good. Let's keep it that way.
[GRUNTS]
Jesus.
BUTCHER: Oswald Daneeka.
Drug dealer
to the superhuman community.
- Whatever they want, you get.
- Exactly, motherfucker.
So you know who I can call
and what they can do to you.
So get the fuck out of here,
before I
Where do you keep
all the dead kids' blood, then?
Eh? Up here?
I don't know what the fuck
you're talking about.
'Course you do.
Dead kids' blood, you know,
from leukemia
and fibrosis and that.
The big metal cunt, Ironcast,
he drinks it recreationally.
Says he can taste the despair.
[GRUNTS]
Also says it's the only thing
that raises the flag
these days.
[CHUCKLES]
"Oh, fuck, he knows.
How the fuck can he know? How?"
But I know everything, mate,
rest assured.
I know you get crystal
for them two muppets,
A-Train and Jack from Jupiter.
I know you get Queen Maeve
her happy pills.
And I know you get coke
for that cunt the Homelander.
Cut with human adrenaline,
the way he likes it.
Wonder who that comes from?
Never mind.
It pays for all this,
doesn't it?
Oh, and don't you supply
the Great Wide Wonder?
'Course, he's not
one of the Seven,
but a customer's a customer, right?
Tell me something, son.
What's he into?
I'm not telling you
a fucking thing.
Okay. All right. All right!
Enemas.
Is that right?
O.D.: Heroin enemas, man.
I'm the only one he trusts
to fix them right.
Okay, and here we go.
[SIGHS]
[HUMMING]
[MOANING]
[LAUGHS]
Stroll on.
Well, when you're doing
what only you can do for him,
you're gonna make sure
this finds its way into the mix.
O.D.: What is that?
It's something a mad French
bastard I know came up with.
Said it'll suit the Great Wide
Wonder right down to the ground.
O.D.: Okay.
Okay, I mean,
I guess I don't have a choice, do I?
Die, you old fucker!
[GRUNTS]
No, no, no, please.
[SCREAMS]
Oh, God! Oh, God, no.
No, no, no!
You'll believe a cunt can fly.
Except you won't.
[SCREAMING]
Aah! Oh, God. Please. Oh, fuck.
- [SCREAMS]
- [GRUNTS]
[CHUCKLES]
Come on, O.D.
What bloody use would you be to
me spread all over the street
like strawberry jam?
Nah, what I'll do
if you don't slip this shit
to the Great Wide Wanker
is call a nasty bastard I know
at the D.E.A.
You know what your supes
will do for you then, don't ya?
- Oh, geez, fuck
- Fuck off at warp factor nine,
that's what they'll do,
leaving you on your Jack Jones.
And you know
where you'll end up after that?
Prison, where you'll spend
the rest of your days
with huge and horrible men
using you as a condom
while they make huge
and horrible love.
I'll be in touch.
You just make sure
he gets the good news
like I told you.
Oh, Jesus, man.
What did I do to deserve this?
[LAUGHING]
Come on, Terror.
Off we go, mate.
[GROANS]
[CROWD CHEERING]
Oh, fuck.
[EXHALES]
[PANTING]
- [BARKING]
- [GRUNTS]
BUTCHER: Sorted?
Good.
Who's this fucking guy?
The strong, silent type.
Oh [CHUCKLES]
Very funny.
This is fucking dangerous, man.
What if they spot me?
They'll know I spiked his shit.
BUTCHER: No one's gonna be
looking at us, believe me.
And I didn't want you to miss
all the fun you helped stir up.
WOMAN: Hello, New York.
BUTCHER: Speaking of.
Are you ready to give it up
for the greatest heroes
the world has ever known?
From the Seven,
Jack from Jupiter!
- Hello, Earthlings. Cheerio!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
Thank you, thank you.
Queen Maeve!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
- [SIGHS]
Kill me.
[CHUCKLES]
Fucking hate this.
And the man himself,
- the Homelander!
- [CROWD CHEERING]
Good morning!
- MAN: Homelander!
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Great to see you.
We're here to recognize a hero
who shines so brightly,
we can wait no longer
to bestow upon him
our very highest honor.
- [CHEERING]
- [CLAMORING]
Please welcome
the Great Wide Wonder!
[CROWD CHEERING]
Yeah!
[WHOOPS]
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
Are we gonna do this?!
All right. Yeah!
- [MUFFLED] Great Wide Wonder!
- [HEARTBEAT THUMPING RAPIDLY]
Where my people?!
[SNIFFLES]
[WHOOPS]
Super Hero Hall of Fame!
Okay. How far he has come.
How high he has flown.
Through the fiery crucible
of battle he has soared and
- [WHOOPING]
- And-And so
we induct him
into the Superhero Hall of Fame!
As he flies
through the flaming ring
held aloft by Ironcast.
[MEN CHANTING OVER DRAMATIC MUSIC]
[GRUNTS]
And now, let the Great Wide Wonder soar.
Papa needs a new pair of shoes!
[CROWD CHEERING]
[SIGHS]
Why, man?
I mean, why do you want to fuck
with these fucking guys anyway?
Your mate there--
the Great Wide Wonder--
he was at a party last year.
Private celebration
after he gave
the commencement address
at Columbia.
Took a couple
of honor students for
well, I suppose you'd call it
a flying fuck.
Thing is, it's a bit
fucking cold way up there.
By the time they twigged,
he didn't give a shit,
that it was part
of the fun for him,
it was too late.
As far as we know,
they're still up there in orbit.
Jesus fucking Christ.
Never heard anything like that.
Everyone we know's got
a story like that.
- What is it he does, anyway?
- He flies really fast.
You know, "Ride around the world
with the Great Wide Wonder,"
and all that.
[LAUGHING, WHOOPING]
- [CHEERING]
- [SONIC BOOM]
Yes, but there's fast,
and then there's
I'd say about Mach 1.5.
[LAUGHING]
[PANTING, WHOOPING]
- [WHOOPS]
- [CROWD SCREAMS]
- Ow!
- Ow, fuck me.
Mach 2.
[BARKING]
[GREAT WIDE WONDER WHOOPING]
[PANTING]
[CROWD CHEERING]
[LAUGHING]
[GRUNTS]
Aah!
- [SCREAMING]
- [CLAMORING]
- Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
- Holy shit.
What the fuck?!
[RETCHES]
[GURGLING]
[BOTH SCREAMING]
Oh, my God!
- [SCREAMS]
- [RETCHES]
Jings, Frenchie.
What'd you put in that stuff?
HOMELANDER: What in the fucking Christ was that?!
What do we fucking do now?
The usual?
[SIGHS]
[CLEARS THROAT]
Hidden in the light of the sun.
Kroll war satellite!
I see it. I see the ship.
- Where?
- There! Look right in the sun.
What?
By the many moons of my home world.
Galaxius has returned once more.
But the Great Wide Wonder?
All we can do now is avenge him.
[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]
BUTCHER: Quick thinking, Wonder Tits.
Oh. [GROANS]
Oh, I'm gonna be sick.
Yeah. Quite a result, wasn't it?
Two for the price of one.
Right. We'll be in touch, mate.
[SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]
[GROANS]
[CURTIS MAYFIELD: "PUSHERMAN"]
BUTCHER: I was thinking you might be O.D.'s handler.
- Oh, thanks a million.
- Come on, Hughie.
Think of the fun to be had.
I mean, spiking supes, mate.
You're trying to tell me
you didn't enjoy that?
[♪♪♪]
[SOBBING]
- Define "enjoy."
- [BUTCHER LAUGHS]
I'm your mama, I'm your daddy,
I'm that in the alley ♪
I'm your doctor when in need,
want some coke? ♪
Have some weed,
you know me, I'm your friend ♪
Your main boy,
thick and thin ♪
I'm your pusherman ♪
I'm your pusherman ♪
Ain't I clean, bad machine ♪
Super cool, super mean ♪
Dealin' good for The Man, superfly ♪
Here I stand,
secret stash, heavy bread ♪
Baddest bitches in the bed ♪
I'm your pusherman ♪