The End Of The F***ing World (2017) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1 Hey.
'Sometimes, James feels like a boy I could love.
Like really love.
' 'Then other times, he feels like a total fucking stranger.
' It's an extra L30 for a late checkout.
Fine.
That's a lot of cash.
We robbed a bank.
Keep the change.
We could get a train to your dad's.
Maybe.
'What if he doesn't want to see me?' Well, shall we? What? Get a train to your dad's.
'He probably won't even recognise me.
' Are we still going there? Yeah, obviously! We should lie low for a bit.
Wait a couple of days before we start getting on any trains or anything.
Why? Because we robbed a guy, James.
He assaulted me.
Doesn't matter.
We should get off grid for a bit.
Isn't your dad's off grid? Why are you so obsessed with my dad? What? I'm not.
He's miles away.
We need to find somewhere nearby.
Somewhere nice.
It'll be like a mini-break.
Holy shit! How do you know? Know what? That this one's safe.
No obvious burglar alarm.
Dust everywhere, so no cleaners to worry about.
Post.
At least a week's worth.
Is breaking and entering the best way of lying low? GLASS SMASHES Cool.
I think that's him.
Who? The guy that lives here.
Yeah, obviously.
Bit uptight, isn't he? He's a professor.
Whatever, it's fucking weird having a photo of yourself.
Hey.
Look what I found.
'Alyssa didn't have much respect for people.
Or people's stuff.
' 'I sometimes wonder if I should just become an alcoholic.
It means you've always got something to do.
' I reckon this will do.
Yeah.
We can just chill here, plan our route, take our time.
Yep.
'I'm trying to think what adults do in situations like this.
' Should we go downstairs and have a glass of wine? Yeah.
OK.
Are you hungry? Always.
That wasn't as shit as I expected.
It was actually really nice.
Thank you.
How do you know how to cook? Taught myself.
'It was that or Type II Diabetes.
' We should do the washing up.
MUSIC- Setting the Woods on Fire, by Hank Williams.
'Some people get embarrassed dancing.
I don't.
I think it's when I feel most myself.
I get embarrassed talking, or after talking when I realise I've said something stupid.
' We should do this naked! Something like that.
'As a rule, I didn't dance.
But it was hard to say no to Alyssa.
' Hey, close your eyes.
What? Close your eyes, I promise I won't look.
'I think he's properly beautiful.
But he'll never start anything, so' Come here.
Undo your belt.
'Whoever says all boys are obsessed with sex hasn't met James.
' 'I really hope I'm not bad at this.
' Huh.
Is this OK? Stop, please, could you stop? What? He was putting me off.
I thought you said that you wanted me! I do.
'I did.
' Liar.
Fuck you! Alyssa! 'I tended not to feel things.
For a long time, I was good at it.
Good at feeling absolutely nothing.
I didn't even have to try.
I just didn't.
' # Oh what a day # Oh what a day # Oh what a day # Oh what a day # Oh what a day When we fell in love.
VOICEOVER: The world is fucking bleak.
I guess I try and do things to forget that it is.
Keep busy, keep blind.
I thought that's what me and James were doing.
Don't look at that.
Hey.
Hey.
How old are you, then? 17.
Yeah, right.
You look better in person.
Fuck off.
VOICEOVER: I do, actually.
My mum says it's my secret weapon, which I think is kind of rude, but I see her point.
So, what was your name again? Alyssa.
Alyssa.
Cool.
What's yours? Topher.
What kind of a name is Topher? It's short for Christopher.
So, why can't you just be called Chris, like a normal person? Don't know.
Guess I'm a twat.
Do you have a girlfriend? No.
Boyfriend? No.
Whoa, is this your place? We're squatting.
Who's we? James, this is Topher.
And we're going upstairs to have sex.
Being with Alyssa had started to make me feel things.
She made me feel things.
And I didn't like it at all.
Um What? This isn't being filmed, is it? Are you actually underage, and someone's going to leap out of the cupboard with a camera and be like, "Catch a paedophile!"? For God's sake.
Come on, then! Alyssa had thrown me a curveball.
I had to bide my time.
So, I decided to have a look around.
ALYSSA LAUGHS UPSTAIRS SOMEONE SCREAMS ON VIDEO INDISTINCT VOICE OF A MAN ON VIDEO Shit.
ALYSSA LAUGHS UPSTAIRS You're cool, Alyssa.
You're really fucking cool.
Thanks.
VOICEOVER: It's no good.
It's just no good.
Thanks, James.
I'm sorry.
What? I changed my mind, I'm sorry.
I'm not into this.
Are you Are you kidding? Nope.
Butthat's not fair.
Uh, yes, it is.
Please, Alyssa, I think you're amazing.
Well, then, respect me changing my mind and fuck off, please.
There is a word for girls like you.
I'll bet.
She's a fucking prick tease bitch! Right, yeah.
I'll tell her.
FRONT DOOR SLAMS Alyssa? Go away.
It feels like sex can go from something you want to do, to a punishment - really fucking quickly.
I waited until she fell asleep.
When her eyes were closed, Alyssa looked a lot less angry.
MUSIC: Five String Serenade By Mazzy Star That's great.
Thank you very much.
FRONT DOOR OPENS HEART BEATS LOUDLY VOICEOVER: Oh, fuck.
How did you get in here? I'm sorry.
It's OK.
It's OK, you just gave me a shock, that's all.
Are you Are you in trouble? You needed somewhere to stay? It's all right.
You're on your own? Yes.
OK.
You made a bit of a mess downstairs, didn't you? Hm? You've been eating my porridge, as well, Goldilocks.
What? Shush, shush, shush, shush.
Just stay still.
Please, don't.
Don't what? Hey, you going to make this difficult? Oh, are you a virgin? No.
MUSIC: I'm Sorry by Brenda Lee Are you a virgin? Yes.
Me too.
Yeah, no shit.
'Sometimes, James feels like a boy I could love.
Like really love.
' 'Then other times, he feels like a total fucking stranger.
' It's an extra L30 for a late checkout.
Fine.
That's a lot of cash.
We robbed a bank.
Keep the change.
We could get a train to your dad's.
Maybe.
'What if he doesn't want to see me?' Well, shall we? What? Get a train to your dad's.
'He probably won't even recognise me.
' Are we still going there? Yeah, obviously! We should lie low for a bit.
Wait a couple of days before we start getting on any trains or anything.
Why? Because we robbed a guy, James.
He assaulted me.
Doesn't matter.
We should get off grid for a bit.
Isn't your dad's off grid? Why are you so obsessed with my dad? What? I'm not.
He's miles away.
We need to find somewhere nearby.
Somewhere nice.
It'll be like a mini-break.
Holy shit! How do you know? Know what? That this one's safe.
No obvious burglar alarm.
Dust everywhere, so no cleaners to worry about.
Post.
At least a week's worth.
Is breaking and entering the best way of lying low? GLASS SMASHES Cool.
I think that's him.
Who? The guy that lives here.
Yeah, obviously.
Bit uptight, isn't he? He's a professor.
Whatever, it's fucking weird having a photo of yourself.
Hey.
Look what I found.
'Alyssa didn't have much respect for people.
Or people's stuff.
' 'I sometimes wonder if I should just become an alcoholic.
It means you've always got something to do.
' I reckon this will do.
Yeah.
We can just chill here, plan our route, take our time.
Yep.
'I'm trying to think what adults do in situations like this.
' Should we go downstairs and have a glass of wine? Yeah.
OK.
Are you hungry? Always.
That wasn't as shit as I expected.
It was actually really nice.
Thank you.
How do you know how to cook? Taught myself.
'It was that or Type II Diabetes.
' We should do the washing up.
MUSIC- Setting the Woods on Fire, by Hank Williams.
'Some people get embarrassed dancing.
I don't.
I think it's when I feel most myself.
I get embarrassed talking, or after talking when I realise I've said something stupid.
' We should do this naked! Something like that.
'As a rule, I didn't dance.
But it was hard to say no to Alyssa.
' Hey, close your eyes.
What? Close your eyes, I promise I won't look.
'I think he's properly beautiful.
But he'll never start anything, so' Come here.
Undo your belt.
'Whoever says all boys are obsessed with sex hasn't met James.
' 'I really hope I'm not bad at this.
' Huh.
Is this OK? Stop, please, could you stop? What? He was putting me off.
I thought you said that you wanted me! I do.
'I did.
' Liar.
Fuck you! Alyssa! 'I tended not to feel things.
For a long time, I was good at it.
Good at feeling absolutely nothing.
I didn't even have to try.
I just didn't.
' # Oh what a day # Oh what a day # Oh what a day # Oh what a day # Oh what a day When we fell in love.
VOICEOVER: The world is fucking bleak.
I guess I try and do things to forget that it is.
Keep busy, keep blind.
I thought that's what me and James were doing.
Don't look at that.
Hey.
Hey.
How old are you, then? 17.
Yeah, right.
You look better in person.
Fuck off.
VOICEOVER: I do, actually.
My mum says it's my secret weapon, which I think is kind of rude, but I see her point.
So, what was your name again? Alyssa.
Alyssa.
Cool.
What's yours? Topher.
What kind of a name is Topher? It's short for Christopher.
So, why can't you just be called Chris, like a normal person? Don't know.
Guess I'm a twat.
Do you have a girlfriend? No.
Boyfriend? No.
Whoa, is this your place? We're squatting.
Who's we? James, this is Topher.
And we're going upstairs to have sex.
Being with Alyssa had started to make me feel things.
She made me feel things.
And I didn't like it at all.
Um What? This isn't being filmed, is it? Are you actually underage, and someone's going to leap out of the cupboard with a camera and be like, "Catch a paedophile!"? For God's sake.
Come on, then! Alyssa had thrown me a curveball.
I had to bide my time.
So, I decided to have a look around.
ALYSSA LAUGHS UPSTAIRS SOMEONE SCREAMS ON VIDEO INDISTINCT VOICE OF A MAN ON VIDEO Shit.
ALYSSA LAUGHS UPSTAIRS You're cool, Alyssa.
You're really fucking cool.
Thanks.
VOICEOVER: It's no good.
It's just no good.
Thanks, James.
I'm sorry.
What? I changed my mind, I'm sorry.
I'm not into this.
Are you Are you kidding? Nope.
Butthat's not fair.
Uh, yes, it is.
Please, Alyssa, I think you're amazing.
Well, then, respect me changing my mind and fuck off, please.
There is a word for girls like you.
I'll bet.
She's a fucking prick tease bitch! Right, yeah.
I'll tell her.
FRONT DOOR SLAMS Alyssa? Go away.
It feels like sex can go from something you want to do, to a punishment - really fucking quickly.
I waited until she fell asleep.
When her eyes were closed, Alyssa looked a lot less angry.
MUSIC: Five String Serenade By Mazzy Star That's great.
Thank you very much.
FRONT DOOR OPENS HEART BEATS LOUDLY VOICEOVER: Oh, fuck.
How did you get in here? I'm sorry.
It's OK.
It's OK, you just gave me a shock, that's all.
Are you Are you in trouble? You needed somewhere to stay? It's all right.
You're on your own? Yes.
OK.
You made a bit of a mess downstairs, didn't you? Hm? You've been eating my porridge, as well, Goldilocks.
What? Shush, shush, shush, shush.
Just stay still.
Please, don't.
Don't what? Hey, you going to make this difficult? Oh, are you a virgin? No.
MUSIC: I'm Sorry by Brenda Lee Are you a virgin? Yes.
Me too.
Yeah, no shit.