The Fall Guy (1981) s01e03 Episode Script

WELL, I'M NOT THE KIND TO KISS AND TELL BUT I'VE BEEN SEEN WITH FARRAH I'VE NEVER BEEN WITH ANYTHING LESS THAN A NINE SO FINE I'VE BEEN ON FIRE WITH SALLY FIELD GONE FAS WITH A GIRL NAMED BO BUT SOMEHOW THEY JUS DON'T END UP AS MINE IT'S A DEATH-DEFYIN' LIFE I LEAD I TAKE MY CHANCES I DIE FOR A LIVIN' IN THE MOVIES AND TV [ Siren Wailing .]
BUT THE HARDEST THING I EVER DO IS WATCH MY LEADING LADIES KISS SOME OTHER GUY WHILE I'M BANDAGIN' MY KNEE I MIGHT FALL FROM A TALL BUILDIN' I MIGHT ROLL A BRAND-NEW CAR 'CAUSE I'M THE UNKNOWN STUNTMAN THAT MADE REDFORD SUCH A STAR [ Women Vocalizing .]
I'VE NEVER SPEN MUCH TIME IN SCHOOL BUT I'VE TAUGH LADIES PLENTY IT'S TRUE I HIRE MY BODY OUT FOR PAY HEY, HEY I'VE GOTTEN BURNED OVER CHERYL TIEGS BLOWN UP FOR RAQUEL WELCH BUT WHEN I WIND UP IN THE HAY, IT'S ONLY HAY HEY, HEY I MIGHT JUMP AN OPEN DRAWBRIDGE OR TARZAN FROM A VINE 'CAUSE I'M THE UNKNOWN STUNTMAN THAT MAKES EASTWOOD LOOK SO FINE [ Colt Narrating .]
THIS IS THE STORY OF ONE OF AMERICA'S GREAT UNSUNG HEROES.
I MEAN, YOU'VE SEEN HIM, BUT YOU NEVER KNEW WHO HE WAS.
YOU'VE CHEERED FOR HIM AND CRIED FOR HIM, WOMEN HAVE WANTED TO DIE FOR HIM.
BUT DID HE EVER GET ANY CREDIT? OR THE GIRL? NO.
HE WAS WHAT WE CALL A STUNTMAN.
AND THE REASON I'M TALKIN' SO FONDLY ABOUT HIM IS-- WELL, BECAUSE IT'S ME, COLT SEAVERS.
ANYWAY, PICTURE WORK ISN'T WALL-TO-WALL EMPLOYMENT.
SO MAYBE YOU WONDER HOW A GUY KEEPS HIS HEAD TOGETHER.
WELL, ONE WAY IS TO WAIT BY THE PHONE AND WAIT AND WAIT.
THE OTHER IS TO TAKE AN OCCASIONAL JOB FOR THE COURT SYSTEM OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, WHERE A MAN IS CONSIDERED INNOCEN UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY.
UNFORTUNATELY, SOMETIMES A LO OF THESE PEOPLE GET OUT OF JAIL ON WHAT WE CALL BAIL.
AND THEY RUN LIKE HELL.
THAT'S WHERE I COME IN.
I SOMETIMES PICK UP RENT MONEY TRYIN' TO FIND THEM AND BRING THEM BACK TO JUSTICE.
"A" CAMERA READY.
"B" CAMERA READY.
"C" CAMERA READY.
[ Man On Speaker .]
OKAY, FELLAS, LOOK SHARP! HERE COMES THE PLANE.
HEADS UP, GUYS! I'M BRINGIN' IT IN! I'M WAITIN' FOR YOU, JODY.
NOW MAKE IT NICE AND SMOOTH.
[ Man On Speaker .]
JODY, YOU'RE OFF LINE! BACK OFF! YOU'RE UP TOO FAR! NO GOOD, GUYS.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
OKAY, RON, SLIDE OVER.
TAKE THE WHEEL.
WHOA, KID! SMOOTH! SMOOTH! KEEP IT SMOOTH! LET'S TRY ANOTHER ONE.
OKAY.
LOOKS GOOD.
LOOKS GOOD.
- I HIT SOME AIR TURBULENCE! I CAN'T HOLD HER, COLT! - YES, YOU CAN! YES, YOU CAN! YOU'RE DOIN' GREAT.
- KID, YOU ALMOS TOOK MY HEAD OFF.
- SORRY, COLT.
OKAY, THIS ONE'S A PRINT.
I CAN FEEL IT, COLT.
WELL, I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT, JODY.
ONE MORE TIME FOR COLT SEAVERS.
I COULD GET OLD DOIN' THIS.
GOOD! GOOD, JODY, GOOD! NOW DON'T CUT ME IN HALF! I DON'T THINK YOU COULD STAND TWO OF ME! HEY, COWBOY, YOU WANT A RIDE? DON'T MIND IF I DO.
OKAY, I'M ON.
WE GOT A PRINT.
[ Woman .]
AU REVOIR JEANS.
FOR THE MAN WHO LIKES TO LIVE BY THE SEAT OF HIS PANTS.
THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING I EVER SAW.
WHAT A WASTE OF GOOD STUNTS.
I MEAN, HOW DID YOU EVER TALK ME INTO DOING TWO MORE OF THOSE COMMERCIALS? WELL, WE NEEDED THE MONEY.
YOU KNOW, THE STRIKE HURT EVERYONE.
THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO MAKE MONEY.
I'M GLAD YOU SAID THAT, BECAUSE BIG JACK WANTED TO DROP BY AND SEE YOU TONIGHT.
BIG JACK IS NOT A BETTER WAY.
AH, BE REASONABLE, COLT.
WE HAVEN'T BEEN OUT ON A CASE SINCE YOU GOT OUT OF TRACTION.
THAT LAST ONE PUT ME IN TRACTION, REMEMBER? I'M NOT GOING OU ON ANOTHER BOUNTY HUNT.
[ Big Jack .]
COLT.
I TOLD YOU THAT'S FINAL.
NOW HIS NAME IS E.
CHARLES NEIMAN.
HE'S A VERY PROMINEN BEVERLY HILLS BUSINESSMAN-- YES.
WHO WAS ARRESTED FOR EMBEZZLING 10 MILLION DOLLARS' WORTH OF BONDS FROM HIS OWN BROKERAGE HOUSE.
I DO KEEP UP WITH THE NEWS.
WHERE'D HE SKIP OFF TO? LONDON? ROME? PARIS? YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LIKE TO TRAVEL.
HOWIE, HE DIDN' SKIP OFF ANYWHERE.
HE'S RIGHT HERE IN TOWN.
LOOK, IF HE HASN'T JUMPED BAIL, THEN WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING ME? TO BRING HIM DOWNTOWN SO I CAN REVOKE HIS BOND.
I WANT ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO DO WITH E.
CHARLES NEIMAN.
[ Howie .]
WELL, WHY NOT? A WELL-TO-DO WHITE-COLLAR CRIMINAL.
HE'LL PROBABLY HIRE HIMSELF A TEAM OF EXPENSIVE LAWYERS AND GET OFF SCOT-FREE.
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGH WHEN I POSTED THE BOND TO THE TUNE OF $500,000.
[ Whistles .]
THAT IS A HEFTY SUM.
I HOPE YOU GOT SOME COLLATERAL.
I CERTAINLY DID.
HIS MALIBU BEACH HOUSE.
WELL, THEN, YOU'RE WELL PROTECTED.
EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
HE SOLD IT RIGHT AFTER THAT.
I DIDN'T THINK HE COULD DO THAT.
I DIDN'T EITHER.
BUT WE'RE DEALING WITH THE PRIVILEGED CLASS.
HE'S A SPOILED EGOMANIAC WHO THINKS HE CAN BEND THE RULES TO SUIT HIMSELF.
JACK, YOU KNOW HOW I HATE TO RISK MY NECK.
COLT, I'M PREPARED TO PAY YOU HANDSOMELY FOR MY MISTAKE.
$500 A DAY.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I HATE TO SEE YOU PLAYED FOR A SUCKER.
NOW WHERE JUST MIGHT I FIND THIS E.
CHARLES NEIMAN? [ Howie .]
WHAT IS THIS CAVALIER CLUB ANYWAY? [ Colt .]
IT'S A PRIVATE CLUB WHERE PEOPLE WITH MONEY TO BURN CAN BUY SOME PRIVACY.
[ Man .]
LET ME GET TO THE POINT, AL.
I THOUGHT I HAD COMMITTED THE PERFECT CRIME.
I NEVER EXPECTED THE BANK TO DISCOVER IT THAT QUICKLY.
[ Chuckles .]
WHO SAYS GOOD GUYS DON'T GET BAD BREAKS.
TELL ME, HOW CAN I RIGH THIS GROSS INJUSTICE? I AM SITTING ON 10 MILLION DOLLARS' WORTH OF TRACEABLE BONDS.
I NEED TO CONVERT THEM INTO CASH.
CAN YOU HELP ME? YOU GIVE ME TWO WEEKS AND I'LL GET YOU 75 CENTS ON THE DOLLAR.
I HAVEN'T GOT TWO WEEKS.
MY HEARING'S ON FRIDAY.
I DON'T INTEND TO BE THERE.
FRIDAY? CHARLIE, YOU'RE-- YOU'RE TALKING THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
OR SOONER.
I HAD TO UNLOAD THE COLLATERAL FOR MY BAIL.
THAT MEANS THE BONDING COMPANY IS GONNA COME AFTER ME.
AND THE LAST THING I WAN IS TO BE PUT BACK IN JAIL ON A MERE TECHNICALITY.
IS THIS A GAG? NO, IT'S A TRUCK.
WELL, WHERE DO YOU EXPECT ME TO PARK IT? PUT IT RIGHT OUT FRONT.
SHOW IT OFF.
YEAH, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL TRUCK.
MR.
NEIMAN DOESN'T EXACTLY KEEP A LOW PROFILE.
[ Chuckling .]
[ Woman .]
THAT'S GREAT.
YOU LIKE IT? THAT'S A FUNNY JOKE.
YEAH, AND IT'S MINE TOO.
OH.
COLT! HIYA, KID! HEY, MILTON, HOW ARE YOU? GOOD TO SEE YOU.
HEY, HOWIE, THIS IS MILTON BERLE.
I DID A STUNT FOR HIM ON A MOVIE ONCE.
AT MY AGE, I NEED A STUNTMAN TO PUT ON MY MAKEUP.
- ENJOY THE CLUB.
- THANK YOU, MR.
BERLE.
I HEAR THIS IS THE TOP PLACE IN THE CITY FOR FOOD AND DANCING.
WHO KNOWS FROM DANCING? I COME HERE FOR THE TAKEOUTS.
[ Laughing .]
COLT, THIS IS A PRIVATE CLUB.
AREN'T WE GONNA NEED A LITTLE PULL TO GET INSIDE? I'LL USE ONE OF MILTON'S LINES.
HELLO.
HELLO.
CAN I HELP YOU? YES, WE'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO MR.
E.
CHARLES NEIMAN.
ARE YOU MEMBERS, MR.
-- SEAVERS.
COLT SEAVERS.
NO, WE JUST CAME IN TO REPORT THE ACCIDENT.
- ACCIDENT? - IN THE PARKING LOT.
THAT IS HIS ROLLS-ROYCE, ISN'T IT? - YES.
WHAT HAPPENED? - OH, NOTHING MUCH.
YOU CAN HARDLY SEE WHERE WE HIT IT.
YES.
SO I'D LIKE TO GIVE HIM THE NAME OF MY INSURANCE COMPANY.
- SO IF YOU'D PLEASE GET HIM.
- FRANK, YOU WATCH THE DOOR WHILE I STEP INSIDE.
- EXCUSE ME, MR.
MAGLIA.
- OH, YES, SALLY? THERE'S A MR.
SEAVERS AT THE DOOR, WANTS TO SEE MR.
NEIMAN.
SAYS HE SMASHED INTO HIS CAR.
NOT MY ROLLS? THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.
OH, PLEASE.
HOLD IT.
HOLD IT.
YOU GO TELL HIM THAT MR.
NEIMAN WILL BE RIGHT THERE.
OKAY? OKAY.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
CHARLIE, IF YOUR CAR WAS HIT, MY PARKING LOT ATTENDAN WOULD HAVE REPORTED IT.
I MEAN, WE CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL IF SOME BAIL BONDSMAN'S ONTO YOU.
WELL, I TAKE MY HA OFF TO YOU, AL.
LOOKS LIKE I CAME TO THE RIGHT MAN AFTER ALL.
HE'LL BE RIGHT OUT.
OH, SO TELL ME, UH, WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE BELONG TO THIS CLUB ANYWAY? IT'LL TAKE TWO GRAND AND A NEW SET OF THREADS FOR YOU TO FIND THAT OUT.
WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS SPACE GAMES AND A SIX-PACK AT HOME.
[ Engine Starts .]
[ Tires Squealing .]
- COLT, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - SIT TIGHT.
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
[ Tires Squealing .]
HEY! HEY, WHERE'S MY TIP? [ Siren Wailing .]
[ Chatter On Police Radio .]
SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU WERE CHASING THAT CAR.
THAT'S RIGHT, OFFICER.
I CAN EXPLAIN.
I'LL BET.
LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, PLEASE.
I WAS HIRED BY A BONDSMAN TO PICK UP THE MAN DRIVING THAT CAR-- E.
CHARLES NEIMAN.
WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE HE'S ABOUT TO SKIP TOWN.
I HAVE HIS BOND RECEIP RIGHT HERE.
BE RIGHT BACK.
DID YOU SAY YOU WANTED TO APPREHEND THE MAN THAT WAS DRIVIN' THIS CAR? IS THAT HIM? THAT'S HIM, OFFICER.
THAT'S THE CREEP THAT WAS HUSTLIN' ME ALL THROUGH LUNCH.
SCARED ME TO DEATH.
THANK GOD YOU CAME ALONG WHEN YOU DID.
- WAIT A MINUTE-- - IT'S OKAY, MISS.
YOU CAN GO NOW.
THANK YOU.
YOU FOLLOW ME, TURKEY.
WHERE'D YOU GO, COLT? NEVER MIND.
WHAT HAPPENED BACK HERE? DID YOU SEE NEIMAN? YEAH.
RIGHT AFTER YOU TOOK OFF, THEY SLIPPED HIM OUT THE BACK IN A BLACK PORSCHE.
I COULDN'T GIVE THEM MUCH OF A CHASE ON FOOT.
GREAT! THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE ONE OF JACK'S SIMPLE PICKUPS.
BUT I DID GE HIS LICENSE NUMBER.
FANTASTIC.
GET IN.
ACCORDING TO THE D.
M.
V.
, THE CAR THAT SMUGGLED NEIMAN RIGHT OU FROM UNDER OUR NOSES IS REGISTERED TO AN ALBERT MAGLIA OF BEL AIR.
WHAT MAKES YOU THINK NEIMAN IS AT THIS GUY MAGLIA'S HOUSE? I'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS BEFORE.
BOY, THE TROUBLE WITH FINDING NEIMAN IS THAT EVERY PLACE HE'S SUPPOSED TO BE, WE'RE NOT.
YEAH, NOT IF WE DO SOME ROLE-PLAYING, KID.
THAT'S WHAT THIS TOWN'S ALL ABOUT.
HOW YOU DOING? I'M COLT SEAVERS.
UH, TELLY SAID THERE WOULD BE A PASS.
I'M HIS HAIRDRESSER.
[ Howie .]
THAT'S THE CAR.
AND THAT'S NEIMAN INSIDE IT.
THERE'S NO WAY THIS TRUCK'S GONNA KEEP UP WITH THAT PORSCHE.
WHY, YOU DON'T THINK SO? WELL, THAT CAR GOES FROM ZERO TO A HUNDRED IN 10 SECONDS.
ITS TOP SPEED'S 150.
I'D CALL THA A LOST CAUSE, COLT.
NOT WITH A FOUR-WHEEL DRIVE.
[ Howie .]
HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE THIS TRAIL COMES OUT? [ Colt .]
I'VE SHOT EVERY INCH OF THESE HILLS IN THE MOVIES WE'VE DONE.
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL "HEADING THEM OFF AT THE PASS.
" - WE'RE RUNNIN' OUT OF ROAD! - HOLD ON, KID, WE'RE GOIN' AIRBORNE! - COLT! LOOK OUT! - WHERE'D SHE COME FROM? NEIMAN'S GETTING AWAY! WAIT.
SHE LOOKS HURT.
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, MA'AM? [ Colt .]
HEY, WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT? WHO ARE YOU, LADY? I WARN YOU.
I'M QUITE ACCUSTOMED TO USING FIREARMS.
- LADY, GO EASY NOW.
COME ON.
- WHY WERE YOU CHASING MR.
NEIMAN? WELL, YOU PUT THAT GUN AWAY AND I MIGHT TELL YOU.
I THINK FOR THE TIME BEING I FEEL MORE IN CONTROL HAVING IT HANDY.
ALL RIGHT.
NOW YOU'VE DONE IT.
KID, THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT.
WHAT ARE YOU-- WAIT A MINUTE.
WHAT ARE YOU-- WHAT ARE YOU-- STOP IT! STOP IT, YOU TWO! YOU'RE GOING TO GET US ALL ARRESTED! OH.
OKAY, UM, I HAVE A LEGAL PAPER TO BE CARRYING THAT GUN.
I HAPPEN TO BE MR.
NEIMAN'S PERSONAL BODYGUARD, AND I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY YOU HAVE BEEN HARASSING HIM.
KID, I GOT THE GUN.
DON'T I GET TO ASK THE QUESTIONS? THAT'S THE WAY I ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD IT WORKED.
YEAH.
NOW COME ON, YOU TWO.
WHAT'S THE STORY? LADY, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE PAYING ATTENTION.
NOW THIS IS A COLT .
45, AND YOU'RE OUT HERE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, PRACTICALLY HELPLESS.
HOW COME IT IS YOU'RE NOT EVEN NERVOUS? [ Woman .]
THAT'S BECAUSE I KNOW SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T, GENTLEMEN.
YEAH, WHAT? [ Colt .]
OH, NO, NOT AGAIN.
I WON'T MAKE A FUSS IF YOU WON'T.
I'LL SEE YOU ROT IN JAIL.
OH, COME ON, YOU DON'T WANT TO SPEND ALL DAY DOWNTOWN SORTING THIS OUT.
I THOUGH I RECOGNIZED THE TRUCK.
WHAT IS IT THIS TIME? OH, NOTHING, OFFICER.
JUST HELPING A STRANDED MOTORIST.
WHY, OFFICER, DON'T YOU BELIEVE HIM.
WHY, THIS LUNATIC TRIED TO DRIVE ME OFF THE ROAD.
WELL, THANK HEAVENS YOU CAME ALONG.
I WAS SO AFRAID OF WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN NEXT.
LOOK, PAL, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU? YOUR CREDENTIALS SAY YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A GUY, AND YOU SPEND HALF YOUR TIME CHASING WOMEN.
- I'M FUNNY THAT WAY.
- YEAH, BUT I'M NOT LAUGHING.
LADY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO SWEAR OUT A COMPLAIN FOR THIS MAN'S ARREST? - I'D BE GLAD TO HAUL HIM IN.
- HAUL HIM IN? UH, NOW WHAT WOULD THA ENTAIL, OFFICER? WELL, YOU JUST FOLLOW US DOWNTOWN AND YOU SWEAR OU A CHARGE FOR ATTEMPTED ASSAULT.
NO, I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD BE NECESSARY.
BUT I DO BELIEVE WE SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT GUN.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO, TURKEY.
AGAIN.
WHAT A WASTE OF TIME.
DON'T TAKE I SO PERSONALLY, COLT.
YOU KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE GET ARRESTED.
YEAH? WELL, I'LL KILL HER.
YOU'RE GETTING EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED.
AS A FORMER POLICE SCIENCE MAJOR, I CAN TELL YOU THA THAT'S DANGEROUS.
I'LL SHOW YOU DANGEROUS WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON HER.
OH, YOU DUG HER, DIDN'T YOU? KID, WILL YOU GO FEED THE HORSES BEFORE I GIVE YOU A LITTLE OF WHAT I GOT PLANNED FOR LITTLE MISS BODYGUARD.
AGGRESSION TRANSFERENCE.
THAT'S NORMAL.
IT'S UNHEALTHY, BUT IT'S NORMAL.
I TOOK ALMOS A YEAR OF PSYCHOLOGY-- OKAY, I'M GOING.
COME IN.
COME IN.
COME IN.
COME IN.
THAT'S VERY GENEROUS OF YOU, CONSIDERING THIS IS MY HOUSE.
THANKS FOR THE BEER.
WELL, WE HAD KIND OF A LONG WAIT.
I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND.
YEAH, WELL, I DO MIND.
WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE? COME ON.
DON'T TAKE THAT ATTITUDE.
WE ALL KNOW THAT FRIENDS ARE MERELY ACQUAINTANCES WHO HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER A LITTLE BIT BETTER.
WE'RE VERY HEAVILY INTO FRIENDS, MR.
SEAVERS.
YOU'VE BEEN BOTHERING ONE OF OURS.
A VERY, VERY DEAR, DEAR MAN.
E.
CHARLES NEIMAN.
BINGO! LOOK, FRIENDS, UH, YOUR FRIEND PROMISED MY FRIEND THAT HE'D SHOW UP IN COURT.
NOW IT LOOKS LIKE YOUR FRIEND IS TRYIN' TO STIFF MY FRIEND.
THAT'S NOT BEING VERY FRIENDLY.
COME ON.
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE HIM A BREAK? THE HEARING'S NO FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS YET.
THEN TELL HIM TO COME ON IN, WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.
THAT'S FAIR, ISN'T IT? YOU KNOW ALL THESE FAMOUS PEOPLE? YEAH, I'VE WORKED WITH MOST OF THEM.
IS THAT RIGHT? GEE, THESE PICTURES MUST BE VERY IMPORTANT TO YOU.
THIS ONE, FOR INSTANCE.
ISN'T THIS BJÖRN-- BJÖRN-- BJÖRN BORG STANDING HERE WITH YOU? - YES.
HE'S A GOOD FRIEND.
- HEY! LOOK, FELLAS, UP UNTIL, UH-- UP UNTIL THIS TIME, YOUR FRIEND HAS JUST BEEN BENDING THE LAW, BUT NOW I THINK HE'S BROKEN IT.
BINGO! ROY, SHOW HIM WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
YEAH.
WELL, UH, THIS ROBERT MITCHUM, RIGHT? PAUL NEWMAN.
HE MUST BE A REAL FAVORITE OF YOURS.
HEY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS, MR.
SEAVERS, WHEN HE RUNS OU OF PICTURES TO BREAK? HE'S GONNA START BREAKING YOU, UNLESS YOU JUS GIVE US A PROMISE THA YOU'RE GONNA BACK OFF.
- SUPPOSING I SAY I WILL? - WELL, THEN I'D BE VERY GRATEFUL AND LEAVE YOU THIS ENVELOPE.
IT'S YOUR FEE.
IT CONTAINS I TO, UH, BACK OFF, YOU KNOW, NOT PICK UP OUR MR.
NEIMAN.
BUT JUST IN CASE THAT YOU, YOU KNOW, GET SENTIMENTAL OVER THESE OLD PICTURES AND YOU DECIDE MAYBE TO CHANGE YOUR MIND, I JUST WANT TO GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO, WELL, KEEP OUR WHOLE CONVERSATION FRESH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? ROY.
REAL FRESH.
COLT, WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU-- COLT? HEY, COLT? COLT, ARE YOU OKAY? COLT, ARE YOU OKAY? COLT! COLT! COLT! COLT, IT'S ME JODY! JODY! IT'S JODY! - JODY? - OH, EXCUSE ME.
I THOUGHT I HEARD SOME ACTIVITY OVER HERE, BUT I-- [ Colt .]
KID, GET BACK HERE.
JODY, I'M SORRY.
WHAT HAPPENED? OHH! WHO DID THIS TO YOU? OW! I'LL TELL YOU WHO.
STRANGERS BEARING GUNS.
GUNS? YEAH, TWICE IN THE SAME DAY, BUT IF YOU GOT ME THE D.
M.
V.
MAKE ON THAT WOMAN'S CAR, I CAN SURE NAIL ONE OF 'EM.
OH, YEAH.
I'VE GOT IT RIGHT HERE IN MY-- MY PURSE.
MMM.
I'M SORRY, JODY.
WHAT DOES IT SAY? UH, 33770 COLDWATER CANYON.
UH, KAY FAULKNER.
[ Jody .]
WHO'S SHE? [ Colt .]
I DON'T KNOW.
BUT SHE'S UP TO HER MERCEDES IN THIS LITTLE SWINDLE.
[ Howie .]
SHE'S TURNING IN TO THAT COUNTRY CLUB.
[ Colt .]
THERE'S NEIMAN'S BLACK PORSCHE.
COLT, EVERY MINUTE WITH YOU IS AN EDUCATION.
SHE LED US RIGHT TO HIM.
WELL, LET'S GO GET HIM.
UH-UH.
NO, THE LAST PRIVATE CLUB WE ANNOUNCED OURSELVES GAVE NEIMAN ALL THE WARNING HE NEEDED.
IT ONLY HAD A FRONT AND BACK DOOR.
THIS ONE'S SURROUNDED BY THREE MILES OF FENCE.
[ Camera Shutter Clicking .]
[ Shutter Clicks .]
[ Neiman .]
ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN ABOUT THIS VEGAS CONNECTION? [ Al .]
IN 36 HOURS, YOU WON' HAVE A CARE IN THE WORLD.
YOU WANT THE FLAG? NO.
THANKS.
- WHAT ABOUT THE PLANE? - IT'S ALL TAKEN CARE OF.
WITH THE ADDITIONAL $500,000, THE PLANE WILL BE COMPLETELY AT YOUR DISPOSAL.
I'VE INSTRUCTED THE PILOT TO TAKE YOU ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD.
EXCELLENT.
[ Al .]
THE MONEY WILL BE ARRIVING TOMORROW NIGHT.
WE'LL MEET IT AT THE AIRPORT.
WE'LL MAKE THE EXCHANGE AT THAT TIME.
WHY DO I HAVE TO MEET YOU LATER AT YOUR CLUB? BECAUSE I DON'T WAN ANY OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE.
WHAT OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE? IT MAY INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT WE FOUND OU WHO MR.
SEAVERS IS.
I DON'T LIKE THE LOOKS OF THAT RAZOR-EDGED BARBWIRE UP THERE.
WE'LL USE THE AIR RAMP TO SHOOT ME OVER IT.
COLT, I'VE NEVER QUESTIONED YOUR ABILITY WITH THE STUNT GEAR, BUT THIS DOESN'T LOOK VERY SAFE.
WELL, YOU COULD BE RIGH ABOUT THAT, KID.
HERE, PUT THIS ANTENNA DOWN FOR ME.
[ Howie .]
WELL, IT-- WELL, IT STILL LOOKS KINDA DANGEROUS TO ME.
NOT IF YOU KNOW HOW TO LAND PROPERLY.
I'M ONLY USING 1,200 POUNDS OF PRESSURE.
SORT OF A HUMAN CHIP SHOT, HUH? YEP.
ONCE ON THE FAIRWAY, I'LL FIND OUR LITTLE SNAKES IN NO TIME.
WELL, LOOKS LIKE WE'RE READY.
LET'S GIVE IT A SHOT.
OH, YOU HAVEN'T SEEN A FIVE "X" AROUND HAVE YOU? YOU SEE, I'VE GOT THIS, UH, TERRIBLE SLICE.
BIRD-WATCHING? MR.
SEAVERS.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU? FISH-WATCHING.
DON'T BE SO FORMAL.
CALL ME COLT.
COLT.
HOW'D YOU FIND ME? I'VE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR CAR.
I DON'T SUPPOSE THAT'S OUR GOOD FRIEND NEIMAN YOU'VE BEEN PROTECTING, IS IT? NO, AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT IS NOT MR.
NEIMAN.
OH, OF COURSE IT ISN'T.
WELL, SOUND AND EVERYTHING.
VERY FANCY, EVEN IF IT ISN' STANDARD BODYGUARD GEAR.
WELL, THIS TIME YOU DON' HELP THEM GET AWAY.
SEAVERS, STAY OUT OF IT.
LOOK, YOU GOT ME HAULED OFF ONCE BEFORE WITHOUT EVEN SO MUCH AS A GOOD-BYE.
THIS TIME IT ISN' GONNA HAPPEN AGAIN.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T WANT HIM TAKEN YET.
YEAH, WELL, I DO.
JUST WAIT! WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? SEAVERS! THIS IS MY GOLF CAR AND A ONE-MAN SHOW! I AGREE.
AAAH! THERE'S SOMEONE FOLLOWING US.
IT'S SEAVERS! STEP ON IT! HEY, WATCH OUT! HEY, MAN! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, MAN? HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON? DAN! ROY! SEAVERS IS AFTER US! HOLD HIM! WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE! [ Dan .]
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE, SEAVERS! [ Crowd Gasps .]
SEAVERS! SEAVERS! GIVE ME BACK THAT RECORDER AND TAPE! THAT'S MY PROPERTY! I SAID GIVE THA BACK, SEAVERS! SORRY, DEAR, IT'S MY ONLY LEAD TO WHERE NEIMAN'S GOING.
SEAVERS! - NO! OHH! - [ Siren Wailing .]
SEAVERS, NO! NO! GIVE ME MY EQUIPMENT! NOT YOU AGAIN, TURKEY.
OH! WAIT A MINUTE.
OFFICER, IT'S NO WHAT YOU THINK.
I'M GONNA GET YOU PEOPLE SOMEPLACE WHERE YOU CAN'T HUR ANYBODY OR YOURSELF.
BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I DON'T EVEN KNOW THIS MAN! WAIT A MINUTE, YOU CAN'T ARREST ME.
I HAVEN'T COMMITTED ANY CRIME.
I'M AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER.
ALL RIGHT.
LET'S GO.
OH.
YOU'RE STARTING TO GET ON MY NERVES.
WHAT WERE YOU DOING PHOTOGRAPHING AND RECORDING THOSE GUYS ANYWAY? THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.
WHAT'D YOU HEAR? WHAT'S THEIR PLAN? DO YOU HONESTLY THINK I'D TELL YOU? WELL, ISN'T IT ABOUT TIME YOU TOLD ME WHAT YOU'RE AFTER? I MEAN, I'M GONNA FIND OU SOON ENOUGH NOW THAT I KNOW YOU'RE NOT WORKING FOR NEIMAN.
IF I DO TELL YOU, DO YOU AGREE NOT TO PICK HIM UP UNTIL HE'S READY TO RUN? IF I WAIT TILL HE TRIES TO RUN, HE MIGHT MAKE IT.
I GOTTA GET HIM WHILE HE'S AROUND.
YOU'RE DOING A HELL OF A JOB.
WHAT? YOU HEARD ME.
GOD, I'M SICK OF AMATEURS! LISTEN, I WOULD HAVE HAD NEIMAN LOCKED UP EIGHT WAYS FROM SUNDAY IF YOU'D HAVE STAYED OUT OF MY WAY WITH THAT CANDY-APPLE ACT.
WHAT IS ALL THAT GADGETRY? WHAT ARE YOU, SOME KIND OF REPORTER OR SOMETHING? I'M SAMANTHA JACK.
THIS IS COLT SEAVERS'S RELEASE.
HERE COMES THE CAVALRY.
IT'S BEEN AN HOUR.
HEY, YOU'RE LUCKY SHE KNOWS YOU.
OTHERWISE IT COULD HAVE TAKEN ALL DAY.
BESIDES, IF YOU JUMP BAIL, WHO WOULD I SEND TO BRING YOU BACK? YOU'RE ALL HEART.
[ Chuckles .]
THANK YOU, OFFICER.
WAIT A MINUTE.
OFFICER.
OFFICER, WAIT A MINUTE! WHAT ABOUT ME? I CALLED FOR A BONDSMAN TOO.
OH, WHO'D YOU CALL? AMALGAMATED.
IT'S AN ANSWERING SERVICE.
YOU COULD BE HERE THROUGH CHRISTMAS.
UH, WHO ARE YOU? ALL RIGHT.
LISTEN, I'M KAY FAULKNER-- WHAT ARE THE CHARGES? DON'T YOU DARE.
SHE'S IN HERE FOR SETTING FIRE TO THE MICKEY MOUSE MUSEUM.
WAIT A MINUTE.
AT DISNEYLAND.
COLT! COME ON! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE, SEAVERS! [ Door Closes .]
I'M GONNA GET YOU, SEAVERS.
BAIL HER OUT.
BAIL HER OUT? YOU JUST SAID-- I KNOW WHAT I JUST SAID.
I JUST DON'T WANT HER TO KNOW YOU'RE INVOLVED.
GET ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS TO DO IT.
COLT, WHO IS SHE? HER NAME IS KAY FAULKNER.
BUT WHAT SHE IS I DON'T KNOW.
SHE WAS USING SURVEILLANCE EQUIPMENT ON NEIMAN.
SHE COULD BE A REPORTER, A DETECTIVE OR EVEN A THIEF AFTER NEIMAN'S MONEY FOR ALL I KNOW.
GET HER CREDENTIALS WHEN YOU BAIL HER OUT.
- WELL, THEN WHAT HAPPENS? - WELL, KAY WILL TELL US.
SHE'S GOT SOMETHING ON THA EQUIPMENT THAT WILL GIVE US NEIMAN'S NEXT MOVE.
IN OTHER WORDS, YOU'RE ASKING ME TO HELP YOU USE THIS POOR GIRL.
- ANY OBJECTIONS? - I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.
THANKS.
YOU'RE WELCOME.
KID, LET THA BE A LESSON TO YOU.
YOU HAVE TO HAVE INTEGRITY.
WHAT DOES INTEGRITY HAVE TO DO WITH BAILING KAY OUT OF JAIL? I DIDN'T SAY IT HAD ANYTHING TO DO WITH BAILING HER OUT.
I JUST SAID YOU OUGHT TO HAVE INTEGRITY, SOONER OR LATER.
[ Gunshots .]
PRETTY HOT MOVE.
NEIMAN'S GOT TO BE IN THERE.
WE NEED SOMEBODY THAT CAN GET IN THERE AND FLUSH HIM OUT IN THE OPEN.
[ Howie .]
YEAH, COLT, I CAN GET IN THERE.
NO PROBLEM.
[ Colt .]
I WAS THINKING OF USING JODY.
- JODY? - WHO'D HAVE A BETTER SHO OF LURING MR.
NEIMAN OUT? I MEAN, YOU, ME OR JODY? WELL, I-- YOU NEVER KNOW.
THIS IS CALIFORNIA.
ALL RIGHT, I'LL CALL JODY.
I HAVEN'T SEEN THIS MANY GUNS SINCE KOREA.
YEAH, THE WHOLE WORLD'S GONE PARANOID.
EVERYONE'S INTO GUNS.
YOU KNOW, IT'S SOMETHING YOU MIGHT CONSIDER, WHERE YOU'RE GOING AND WITH ALL THE MONEY YOU'LL BE CARRYING.
I MAY TAKE YOU UP ON THAT.
WELL, GOOD.
I'LL SET YOU UP ON THE RANGE.
YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO KILL BEFORE TOMORROW MORNING.
MORNING? AL, THIS IS MY LAST NIGH IN THIS COUNTRY.
I'VE GOT FRIENDS THA I GOTTA SEE BEFORE I GO.
NO DEAL, CHARLIE.
THERE'S TOO MANY PEOPLE LOOKING FOR YOU AND THIS IS ONE PLACE WHERE YOU'RE SAFE.
WELL, I'VE SEEN THAT ALL RIGHT.
SECURITY HERE IS TIGHTER THAN A MILITARY BASE.
OH, JUDY, RESERVE TWO SPOTS FOR ME, WILL YOU? GORGEOUS.
[ Jazz .]
OH, MY! OH! OH! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? OH, I'M-- I'M-- THAT WAS VERY CLUMSY OF ME, SIR.
A-ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH.
I'M FINE.
I'M FINE.
LOOK, IT WAS AS MUCH MY FAUL AS IT WAS YOURS.
OH, THANK YOU, SIR.
PLEASE, SIR, I-I APOLOGIZE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
NO PROBLEM.
- GOOD RECEPTION? - GET OUT OF MY VAN.
I'M WARNING YOU.
YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! WAIT! SORRY, KAY.
I OFFERED TO COOPERATE AND WORK WITH YOU, BUT YOU WOULDN'T DISCUSS IT.
COLT, LISTEN TO ME.
I WORK FOR THE INSURANCE COMPANY.
YOU'RE ONLY INTERESTED IN KEEPING NEIMAN FROM SKIPPING TOWN.
WE'VE GOT TO RECOVER THOSE BONDS.
- CAN YOU HEAR ANYTHING? - [ Gunshots .]
AHH! NOT ANYMORE.
[ Gunshots .]
YOU GOT A MEMBERSHIP CARD? UH, NO.
I'M A NONMEMBER.
BUT THEY SAID IT WAS ALL RIGHT AT THE DOOR.
WHEN A LADY LOOKS LIKE YOU, IT'S ALWAYS ALL RIGHT.
GOTTA KEEP OUR MEMBERS HAPPY.
THANKS.
[ Gunshots .]
YOU'RE HOLDING IT WRONG.
I BEG YOUR PARDON? WHEN YOU SHOOT, YOU'RE HOLDING YOUR GUN WRONG.
SHE MADE CONTACT.
MAY I? WELL, I CERTAINLY BELIEVE IN LETTING A LADY PROVE HERSELF.
CAREFUL.
UH, WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO SHOOT LIKE THAT? BUY ME A DRINK AND I'LL TELL YOU MY SECRET.
OKAY.
HAS HE PUT THE MOVES ON HER YET? NO, THEY'RE JUS GETTING A DRINK.
YOU'RE GONNA BLOW EVERYTHING.
I'LL BLOW EVERYTHING? IF I WAIT, I MIGHT LOSE HIM.
WHO CARES ABOUT NEIMAN? MY COMPANY'S ON THE HOOK FOR 10 MIL.
NOW, COLT, LET'S MAKE A DEAL.
LOOK, I MIGHT'VE BEEN INTERESTED IN A COMPROMISE BEFORE.
BUT NOT NOW.
IT'S TOO LATE.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T THINK I HAVE EVER MET A GIRL QUITE LIKE YOU.
OR ONE THAT'S QUITE AS YOUNG, AND AS BEAUTIFUL AND AS DEADLY.
WOW! OH, HARDLY THAT.
I JUST LIKE TO TARGET SHOOT.
- I DON'T WANT TO SCARE ANYONE AWAY.
- WELL, THAT'S NICE TO KNOW.
[ Man On P.
A.
.]
BAR'S CLOSING, FOLKS.
LAST CALL FOR DRINKS.
IT'S TOO BAD YOU WEREN'T HERE EARLIER.
WE COULD'VE HAD QUITE A NIGHT OF IT.
WHO SAYS WE STILL CAN'T? LOOK, AS LONG AS THIS PLACE IS CLOSING UP, WHY DON' WE GO SOMEWHERE ELSE? WHY DON'T YOU TWO USE ONE OF THE SUITES UPSTAIRS? THEY'RE OPEN 24 HOURS TO MEMBERS.
AL, UH, LOOK, I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE OF HOURS.
I ASSURE YOU, HONEY, IT'S QUITE DISCREET.
THE ONLY ENTRANCE IS BY PRIVATE ELEVATOR.
I-I DON'T THINK SO.
- I'M AFRAID I MUST INSIST.
- YOU INSIST? OH, RIGHT.
AL! MR.
NEIMAN, YOU'RE UNDER MY PROTECTION.
WHEN THIS, UH, YOUNG LADY CAME IN HERE TONIGHT, SHE HAD TO LEAVE HER DRIVER'S LICENSE AT THE DOOR, AND I HAD IT CHECKED.
WELL, THAT'S ALL VERY COMMENDABLE, BUT-- THERE'S NO BUTS ABOUT IT, CHARLIE.
BY SOME STRANGE COINCIDENCE, SHE HAPPENS TO BELONG TO THE FALL GUY STUNTMAN'S ASSOCIATION.
THE VERY SAME ONE THA OUR MR.
SEAVERS BELONGS TO.
[ Al .]
TAKE HER UPSTAIRS.
- WE GOT TROUBLE.
LET'S GO.
- I CAN HELP.
YEAH, SURE YOU CAN.
COLT.
VERY NICE.
FIX US A DRINK, WILL YOU, CHARLIE? MM-HMM.
MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE, HONEY.
WE'RE ALL GONNA BE HERE FOR AWHILE.
WELL, IT'S NO GONNA BE THAT EASY.
AND DON'T CALL ME HONEY.
[ Chuckles .]
IF SHE'S WORKING WITH THA BOUNTY HUNTER, ISN'T HE LIKELY TO COME LOOKING FOR HER? WELL, THIS FLOOR IS TOTALLY PRIVATE.
THERE'S NO WAY HE CAN GET UP HERE.
I PROMISE YOU, CHARLIE, YOU'RE PERFECTLY SAFE HERE.
HEY, THERE'S SOMEBODY BREAKING IN THE SECOND FLOOR CORRIDOR.
[ Alarm Rings .]
EMERGENCY! ALL GUARDS TO THE SECOND FLOOR.
EMERGENCY! ALL GUARDS TO THE SECOND FLOOR.
[ Alarming Ringing .]
AL, WHAT'S GOING ON OUT THERE? DON'T TELL ME SOMEONE'S BROKEN IN? BINGO! ROY, TAKE CHARLIE OUT TO THE CAR.
DANNY, YOU COME WITH ME.
HEY, WHAT ABOUT ME? SIT DOWN! THE MAID WILL BE BY EARLY IN THE MORNING.
NO, NO.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! [ Alarm Continues .]
THEY'RE HEADED FOR RANGE NUMBER TWO.
[ Alarm Continues, Distant .]
[ Alarm Continues, Distant .]
KEEP THAT END COVERED.
- THERE THEY ARE! - [ Gunshots .]
COLT, THEY'VE GOT ENOUGH FIREPOWER TO BLAST US BACK TO PEA FALLS.
LOOKS LIKE THEY'RE NOT AFRAID TO USE IT.
WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE, BUT IF YOU DON'T COME OU ON THE COUNT OF THREE, WE'RE GONNA STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.
ONE, - TWO-- - [ Howie .]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? - SAVING OUR NECKS, I HOPE.
- THREE! [ Gunshots, Distant .]
[ Alarm Continues .]
[ Alarm Ringing .]
JODY? - JODY? JODY? - HELLO? ANYBODY OUT THERE? COLT, I'M IN HERE! HERE, LET ME HANDLE THIS ONE, COLT.
STAND BACK, JODY! GOOD, KID.
GOOD.
JODY, YOU ALL RIGHT? YEAH.
BUT NEIMAN'S LEAVING THE COUNTRY.
COME ON.
WE BETTER GET OUT OF HERE.
WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING AROUND WHILE NEIMAN'S GETTING AWAY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE WHILE THOSE BONDS ARE GETTING AWAY? I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.
I'M SORRY I HAD TO LOCK YOU UP.
YOU'RE SORRY.
YOU'RE GONNA KNOW WHAT SORRY IS WHEN YOU GE THESE THINGS OFF OF ME.
WELL, I'VE DECIDED TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE TO WORK WITH ME.
GET THESE THINGS OFF OF ME AND GET OUT OF MY SIGHT.
NEIMAN AND MAGLIA ARE HEADING WHO KNOWS WHERE.
NOW, I THINK YOU CAN HELP FIND THEM.
FIND THEM? OF COURSE I CAN FIND THEM.
IF HE'S STILL GOT THAT BUG, I CAN FIND THEM.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND, DARLING.
YOU GOT THE BUGGING EQUIPMENT, AND YOU KNOW HOW TO USE IT.
EXACTLY.
SO WHY DO I NEED YOU? WELL, BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO HAVE THE KEYS TO THE HANDCUFFS AND TO THE VAN.
NOW WHAT DO YOU SAY? YOU DEVIL.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
YOU DRIVE, I'LL DIRECT.
YOU AND JODY FOLLOW IN THE TRUCK.
[ Kay .]
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN SPEED THIS THING UP? THE SIGNAL'S SO WEAK, I DON' EVEN KNOW IF IT'S WORKING.
WELL, THIS RIG ISN'T EXACTLY A FERRARI.
SHUSH.
THERE HE IS.
THERE HE IS.
OKAY, MAKE IT A LEFT.
[ Tires Squealing .]
[ Horn Honking .]
NO.
NO, WAIT A MINUTE, COLT.
I'M SORRY.
MAKE A RIGHT.
NO.
YOU GOTTA DO A 180.
UH-HUH.
- DAMN! I THINK WE'VE LOST HIM.
- FORGET THAT THING.
THERE'S ONLY ONE AIRPOR IN THIS DIRECTION.
[ Colt .]
SIT BACK.
WE GOT A TWO-HOUR DRIVE.
NICE JOB, AL.
THE PRIVILEGED CLASS HAVE TO STICK TOGETHER, CHARLIE.
[ Vehicles Approaching .]
ROY! [ Dan .]
AL, GET OUT OF THERE! HOLD IT! GET THOSE TWO! [ Crash .]
COLT, YOU'RE STILL IN ONE PIECE! GO PICK UP KAY AND THE OTHERS.
I'LL GET NEIMAN.
WELL, MR.
NEIMAN, I HOPE YOU HAD A PLEASANT TRIP.
MAY I HELP YOU WITH YOUR LUGGAGE? [ Country .]
[ Crowd Cheering .]
[ Bell Rings .]
[ Cheering Continues .]
COME ON, COLT! YEAH! RIDE HIM! - COME ON, COLT! - [ Buzzer Buzzes .]
ALL RIGHT! YEE-HEE! YEAH! [ Woman .]
AU REVOIR JEANS.
FOR THE MAN WHO LIKES TO LIVE BY THE SEAT OF HIS PANTS.
I CAN'T STAND TO WATCH ANY MORE OF THAT.
I THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT.
YOU KNOW THE THUMB? THAT WAS AN AD-LIB.
OH, I KNOW, DON'T TELL ME.
A HALF A SEMESTER OF IMPROVISATIONAL THEATER AT YALE.
NO, NORTHWESTERN.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE SO DEPRESSED.
THEY DID SHOO YOUR BEST SIDE, HMM? I'M GOING BACK IN.
THE BEST ONE'S COMING UP HERE.
YEAH, WELL, SUIT YOURSELF.
[ Engine Cranks .]
OOPS.
CAR TROUBLE? IT MUST BE FLOODED.
[ Engine Cranks .]
I DON'T REMEMBER INVITING YOU ALONG.
OH, WELL, I THOUGHT YOU WOULD WANT ME TO COME ALONG, CONSIDERING I SAVED YOUR LIFE.
SAVED MY LIFE? IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND, ISN'T IT? LET'S NOT ARGUE ABOUT THESE THINGS, COLT.
I THINK YOU SHOULD ASK ME ALONG BECAUSE WE HAVE SUCH FUN TOGETHER.
IN THE WEEK I'VE KNOWN YOU, I CAN REMEMBER ABOUT 30 SECONDS' WORTH OF FUN.
COLT, BELIEVE ME, YOU NEED ME.
I DO? MM-HMM.
I HAVE YOUR DISTRIBUTOR CAP.
UH, UH, UH.
[ Man .]
FALL GUY IS A GLEN LARSON PRODUCTION.