The Gallows Pole (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

HE SPITS
CROW CAWS
Hello?
Hello?
Find me, David.
What were that?
Come and find me.
What are you?
"Head towards the fog."
Well, it's all very fucking foggy,
isn't it?
Why am I topless, Stag Man?
On that, I have no idea.
It's weird, isn't it? Yeah.
Did you decide it? No, I thought
you'd just be asleep like last time.
That's what I thought. I thought
that's how it happened.
Now I'm in woods with fucking
no top, I'm cold.
You think I'd want to see you
with your top off?
Good to see you again, David.
Aye, you and all.
Thanks for coming.
Well, thanks for having me.
I bring a message, worry not,
David, those in the grey light
offer their blessings
to your criminal endeavour.
You must do what needs to be done.
For the man you must commit a crime
on today, he too needs your help.
He's a painted man, David.
What do you mean? Colours, colours
that hide his scars, his pain.
You must show him kindness,
David. All right.
And you must trust in the lady
with looms, for she is wise
and you cannot fulfil your
destiny without her.
Grace? Aye.
Wise? Aye.
Aye. Mouthy, but wise. Yeah.
She can see a change in you, David.
She can see the boy in you again.
I trust you.
And I, you.
Can I wake up again, please?
What, back in your bed?
No.
Huh? Walk back to your people,
David. Fuck's sake.
They need your wily, mucky,
criminally tainted mind
to guide them today.
Do great stuff, David.
Judge not the painted man.
Trust the lady with the looms.
Put a top on.
This way?
Oh, he's fucked off.
# I had a drink with the devil
# He's looking for new slaves
# He told me that my life
# Could be the one he saves
# What happens when you
turn the devil down?
# I waited at the crossroads
# The devil stood me up
# Is it that he's just afraid
# Or am I not good enough?
# What happens when
you turn the devil down?
# Woo!
# I had a drink with the devil
# He's looking for new slaves
# He told me that my life
# Could be the one he saves
# What happens if you
turn the devil down?
# What happens if you
turn the devil down? #
CHATTER
No, not Joe. Anyway
Can I just ask a question, Isaac?
If this goes tits up, straight from
the off, shall I just batter him?
Billy, no-one's using their fists.
You too, Joe. I will. I'm the same.
We are going to
have to come in a bit heavy.
I know you can handle yourselves,
but he needs to know
that we mean business.
So, me and Tom, you know,
we're going to get a bit physical.
Oh, that's all right! We've had that
before. Nobody'll get hurt. We're
fine with that, we'll play along.
Just make sure you don't put any
marks on us. No marks on the faces
and stuff like that, yeah?
Why is she making you do all
that running? Fuck knows!
Why can't Darya do it?
Darya always gets the best jobs.
So does Mand. Our Gwen will run
cross the country with my bad groin.
It's not fair, is it? I don't even
get a weapon. Are you joking? No.
You aren't going in there with
no fucking weapon. I know.
That's what I mean.
Has Tom got one? Yeah, and Isaac.
The only person that's
a worry is Gwen
because she's gone full mardy
on me. More so than usual.
More so than usual.
What part's she got anyway?
It's just running. I don't know
why she's so mad with me.
Don't worry, Mand.
I know that good work I did
down at Susie's hasn't really been
appreciated, but I've got a plan
that's going to put me
and you right back to the
top of the good books.
Why am I not in the good books?
I weren't even at Susie's.
I were here! You messed that up
all on your own.
Yeah, but we're a team, aren't we?
We are not a team. We are.
There's nothing about this that
makes us a team.
Well, if that's the case,
I'm not going, then.
Well, don't go, then. Yeah, you know
we're a team, Mand. No!
It's just when you want to be
a team, we're a team.
And when I don't want to be a team,
you're not a team.
We let you out, in, out, in, yeah.
Oh, here he is. Finally.
Big lad, though, Billy. Huh?
He's a big lad. I'll do him.
You all right? Hello.
Are you being serious?
This is what time you're showing up?
David? Are you all right?
Fucking Stag Man woke me up,
Grace. Sorry?
That fucking Stag Man woke me
up again, Grace. I'm tired.
That is not reasonable.
You were supposed to be here
half an hour ago.
Can we just talk to you?
You all right? Nah, pissed off.
Why have we got the shit jobs?
You haven't got the shit jobs.
It's an important job
and I haven't got anyone else.
It's an important job, running.
You are all looking dead hard and
you've got weapons. I've got to run!
I'm running. I'm running as well.
See the state of these?
You know she's got a bad groin.
You can't expect her to run.
She can run. I would swap with you
if I could, but I can't leave Ella
on her own all day long.
I've told you. Oh, God
Why do you have to sit there, Dave?
It takes the piss. And why don't I
get a weapon? That is not my
department. You ain't got a weapon
face. You've got a face like a baby.
That takes the piss.
That's not very helpful, is it?
Why do Tom and Isaac get one
and I don't? Right, I'm sorry.
Gwen, there's nothing I can
Do you want Mandy's job?
Do you want to babysit
Robin for the day? Dave?
He's in a mood now.
Well, you've done that.
Are you actually asleep,
or are you pretending to be asleep?
I'm not asleep. Right.
I'm just resting my eyes.
You need to go
and rally your troops.
Right-ho.
Urgh.
Cheers, guys, good luck. Hey-up.
Hi, David. Hey, David.
We all know what we're doing,
then? Aye, yeah.
This has been planned to perfection.
Now, this clothier has been taking
piss out of community for a very
long time.
So if anyone feels bad for what
we're about to do, fucking don't.
I don't. I don't.
It's time to give this thieving
bastard a taste of his own medicine!
Yeah! Who's with me?
Yeah! Yeah! Right, let's go.
Go! Good? Yes.
That was actually quite good.
# It's another beautiful day,
you know what that means
# We're down on the beach, brother
# I give thanks for the sun,
you know
# Listen, hey
# Senorita, I'd really
love to meet ya
# Maybe sip a Margarita on the beach
to set the mood
# Nothing would be sweeter,
believe me, senorita
# If I make ya, I'll complete ya
# So, ma-make me rude, yo
# Please believe me
# I'm young, free and I'm easy
# And I'm down for the sleazy
# In fact, a freak completely
# From Brighton to Tahiti
# You can see me
# Walking on the beaches,
looking at the peaches
# You've got to love it
# Right, it's the middleman
# Oh, my gosh, oh, my days
# Down on the beaches
KNOCKS ON DOOR
# Down on the beaches
# Down on the beaches. #
Hello, Mr Arkwright. May I take
your hat? Thank you very much.
Thank you very much. Mr Arkwright.
Good afternoon, Susie.
Good afternoon. Thank you very much.
There we go.
Argh. We've got a lovely leg of lamb
for you this evening. Very nice.
Fresh berries,
picked by our lovely Rita here.
Would you like some cutting up?
That will be lovely, thank you.
No problem.
So, how How's business, then,
Mr Arkwright? Diversifying.
Susie,
that's what it is, diversifying.
Right. Finding new markets.
Yeah. Can't hang round
here in Dale all day.
You can't be stuck in these
valleys any more.
What about the farmers
and the weavers?
You've got a lot of fingers in
a lot of pies, haven't you?
I have,
but they're not paying their bills.
These fuckers, they take
They take up the lease for like two
years, for a loan,
and when work dries up,
want me to take it back.
Cancel contract.
How does that work, then?
Well I'm still paying
for loom. Yeah,
you're still paying for the loom,
but it was on a promise, weren't it,
that they'd be getting some
work off you and now,
with everything happening,
the village is on its knees.
Yeah, but it's not my fault, is it?
I haven't done that.
Why should I take the hit?
Now, listen to me, Sue,
if one of these weaver lads turns
up at your place of business here
and goes, "All right, sorry,
Susie, got no money.
"But I still want a go.
I want to have my fun."
Yeah? What would you tell them?
I'd tell them to go and get married.
Course you would.
Course you would!
What you would not do is give them
a free shag, would you?
Definitely not. Not here. Nothing's
for free here, we know that.
Exactly.
It's business. This is the world.
You're right. This is the world.
There is no such
thing as a free lunch.
And I have to say,
you've always sent some lovely
customers our way
and we appreciate that.
What goes in here
Absolutely. That's lovely. All good.
Is that good? Are you enjoying it?
It's lovely. Very good. Very good.
Do you want another drink?
No. You know what?
I think it might be time to
have a bit of play time with
Mistress Rose, hey?
OK. I'll just make sure
she's ready for you. Smashing.
Urgh.
She's ready for you, Mr Arkwright.
Right.
Heya. Rose. I'll give you some
privacy. You all right?
I'm very good. How are you?
Just rosy.
What are you in the mood for today?
I want to be, er
I want to be Eliza again.
Aye, Kim's a good un.
Charlie.
Charlie's good, yeah.
There'll be no more like Terry.
You can have it with an I or a Y,
can't you?
Yeah, true. True. Beverley.
Beverley?
Mm
Oh, yeah.
You're going to be the prettiest
girl at the ball, aren't you?
That's really nice. Yeah.
I'm a pretty girl.
# Pack it up
# When it gets started,
I can never stop
# Ha-ha-ha
# Price your drum
# Bet I would be nice
if I should stir it up
# Ha-ha-ha
# Blow me up
# If you can work #
Grace! Come. Cheers, loves.
# Ha-ha-ha
# Going south
# I really need
something inside my mouth
# Ha-ha-ha #
Here. You've got the easy job,
haven't you?
# Move ahead
# You've got me
moving like a living dead
# Ha-ha-ha
# And left my side #
Hi, Eliza!
Hello, sir.
# Going right
# I got a hunger screaming
deep inside
# Ha-ha-ha #
Where've you been? Jesus, woman!
What's up with that?
I'm going to be sick.
It's not even that steep.
Fuck off, Mand! You've been ages.
Here you are. Which one is it?
I don't fucking know which
one it is. Get in! All right!
See you on the other side.
Right, you, plan. Knock on the door.
Yep. When the door opens, I say,
"I've come to clean your chimney."
Yep. And if she says,
"I don't want me chimney cleaning,"
I say, "Right. I can do it half
price, cos I'm here now." Right.
That's good.
And stuff like that. That's good.
But then,
if she doesn't want it cleaning,
I'll just have a heart attack.
No. You don't You don't
just drop dead, Broadbent.
You've got to try and keep her
talking, let him get inside.
Keep her talking. That's why
it's called a distraction. Yes.
Only have a heart
attack in an emergency.
At the end. No, not just at the end.
In an emergency. Right.
Don't worry, Mand.
I've got this, right.
If you have a heart attack,
which way are you going to fall?
Into the doorway. Why? So it keeps
it open. Right. Do not fuck this up!
Mand, it's me you're talking to.
Exactly! Come on.
KNOCKS ON DOOR
KNOCKS ON DOOR
FOREIGN ACCENT: Hello.
I come to clean chimney.
Sorry? I come to clean chimney.
Where are you from?
I'm from Russia.
Russia?
Where's that voice come from?
Listen, I'm glad you're here.
I think we've got something
at the top that needs
I don't know
if it's maybe a bird or something,
so I need you to go up, actually.
Dead bird? Dead bird, yeah.
OK, one minute, please.
Please, you take
No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't go in.
Don't go in!
In my country is a tradition
He's going in.
..to offer chimney sweep beer
and tart.
I'm really glad you're here.
I thought a bird was going to
drop on my head the other night.
Very beautiful house. Mm-hm.
Very beautiful house. Yeah.
Look at size of fireplace.
It is a big one. This is big.
Right, so,
if you just have a quick look, love.
I have a look in a minute. I
You got beer? Are you sure you don't
want me to show you?
No, in a minute,
we get organised first. All right.
I'll go get you your tea.
I have to take clothes off.
What is it, tea and pie? No, beer,
please. I no liketea. Oh.
This fuck. Um
Look at this, you posh twat.
Here we are. Let's have a look.
Right, here we go. I got you two
pieces, cos you're a big lad.
It looks beautiful.
Thanks. I made it.
Thank you.
Enjoy.
Oh, here we go.
Oh-ho!
Oh, yes! Look at that!
Beautiful! Beautiful! You make?
Yeah, I did. I did. It's good.
Thank you. So, how long do you
think this is going to take?
Not take long. I have pie. I have
drink. Yeah. You show me bird.
Well, sit down. No, you show me
bird again, please. Well, OK.
Well, it's to the right-hand side.
Oh, yes. Oh, you can see it?
It's very high up.
Do you think you can get to that?
Yeah. Right, good, OK. No problem.
Right, so, I'll leave you to it.
I'm going to be upstairs.
If you need anything, just give me
a shout, yeah? No problem.
And have the second piece after
you've done the job.
All right? Ah, yeah.
You leave it with me!
All right. See you.
Oh! OK.
It's very small. Hmm
Why is he inside? I don't know.
Why is he inside the house?
That's not the plan. I know, but
he's sat, eating and having a pint.
Sorry, he's doing what?
He's sitting down
and he's got a pint and everything.
For fuck's sake! Get them to Gwen.
I'll meet you at the pub.
All right, go get him. I'll
hang on for as long as I can. Right.
Here you are. And keys.
Where the fuck's she going?
He's still in there.
It's all gone to pot. Why?
I don't know. He's sat there,
eating. Oh, you deal with it.
I've got to fucking run more.
See you down there.
Hello?
Is my friend in here?
Did she do it?
Let's get these to the boys.
Oh, aye, yeah.
What about Lindsey? Got 'em!
How did it go? Really good.
I need to go. What's up with him?
He's been asleep like that for ages.
David! David!
Dave, look lively! Come on, mate!
What is up with him? Is he drunk?
I don't know.
He's just been like this all day.
Are you being serious?!
We've just ran half of Yorkshire.
We've got your coins.
You need to go. Oh
Come on! Argh!
Oh
Dave, what are you doing?
I'm just absolutely bloody
knackered from that dream,
of that scary information.
Right, no-one cares.
You need to go you've not got
time for this. Oh, my God!
He's stretching out. Please!
Stand up! Grace, calm down!
It's crime, it's what I do! Right,
well, you need to go do it. Come on!
Oh Right, let's go, come on.
Come on, lads. Head rush.
Right, let's go. Let's go.
Thanks, I've got Come on.
You have not got time to
finish your drink, Tom. Come on!
All right, boys.
Go, go, go!
Good luck!
See you at the house after.
Did you have a good sleep?
I had a dream.
You had a dream?
What was in your dream, darling?
I was at the ball
..in my dress.
And I were right pretty.
Yeah.
You were right pretty. Oh
Eliza's thirsty now.
Oh
Oh. Well
I need to get a drink.
There's a good girl.
Go on, she's just going to
be in there. It's all right, Rose.
What is this?
Take a seat, Mr Clothier.
No.
No?
Rex, they're hurting the girls.
I'm not going to listen to
any man who's holding
knives at women's throats.
Right.
Understandable.
Drop the knives, lads.
Please sit down, then, Mr Clothier.
What's this about?
I'm David Hartley.
This is my family.
What's your name?
What's it to you?
What's your fucking name,
clothier cunt?
My name is Rex Arkwright.
Rex Arkwright? Aye.
That is a fantastic name, that.
Thank you very much. Beautiful.
Regal, in fact.
Recognise these, Mr Rex Arkwright?
Get my coat. Get my coat.
Get his coat. Where's my keys?
Where's his keys? Keys.
Fucking hell!
You all right? Aye.
It's fucking magic, that, isn't it?
How did that happen?
Have you taken me safe?
No. Have you hurt me servants?
Have you? What have you done?
Absolutely not, no.
Please excuse me intruding,
but I had to show you exactly
what me and mine are capable of.
Been in your house.
Got to your safe and we've stolen
your guineas. Very sorry.
But
..I'm looking for a partner
to help me out
in my operation.
What you've got there is 100
guineas. I can make another ten
on the back of those 100 guineas.
I can give thee five,
I can give community five,
or, it's up to you,
I can take these and make them mine
forever, which is
what I did in Birmingham.
I stole off good people, bad people,
business people like yourself.
And you can get the arse and come
and meet me up at Bell House,
which is where I fucking live,
and we'll have a lovely tear up.
It's up to you.
So, you
You hold me up.
In here.
Put a knife to the ladies' throats.
Sorry.
You go into my house Yeah.
..you steal from me Yeah.
..and you expect me
not to go down to Halifax
..and buy meself 20 men to come
and kick shit out of the lot of you.
I'll cut you a fanny, sweetheart.
There you go, he'll cut you a fanny.
You fucking meathead twat.
Well, it's the truth.
You could die, couldn't you,
Mr Rex Arkwright?
Some bloody businessman, aren't you?
Wanting a fist fight with
a man as old as your father.
I just wanted to make a bit
of an impact, Mr Rex Arkwright.
Well, you certainly did that.
Can you rate it out of ten?
How do you think we performed?
I won't judge you,
you just don't judge me.
No judgment here, brother.
This ten
..you're going to make
from that 100.
Give me five, give other five
To the community.
Cos it's on its arse. Crippling.
Right. Your doing, yeah.
Now
..you get caught clipping, son,
you You're gone.
Aye, I know. Swing first time.
Really dangerous.
If you can do this Which I can.
..there could be some
interesting stuff,
but you've got to show me how.
You've got to show me
that you're no chancer.
I'm going to find it hard to
trust you after today.
So, you're going to have to show me.
Well, that I can do. Aye.
What's this spread?
Do you want a drink, Mr Arkwright?
Thank you, Susie.
Anybody want a drink?
I will, aye, now.
I'm not taking piss,
I'm just wondering.
I've been to brothels meself,
I've frequented many of them, but
..I've never come
Were it a game or summat, were it?
Just dead boring, me. I just
What it were, Mr Hartley,
is private. I respect that.
I think it's dead brave
to do sort of stuff like that.
And that won't leave this room,
I promise you.
You watching, Bill?
You'll be doing this yourself,
Bill, soon. Head clipper.
There's one you've seen me
clip in front of your eyes.
There's one I've made.
Not bad.
I know.
To my untrained eye.
So
..100 guinea a week
..ten guinea profit.
Not bad.
But if you If these
..are as good as I think they are
Which they are.
..I might be able to get you
considerably more coin to work with.
Why be hung for a lamb
when you can have a sheep?
You take that 100 guinea
..clip it
..take your five and five off
..end of the week,
I'm going to come up
..with a friend of mine
from Halifax
..Portuguese,
coin merchant.
He knows his stuff.
And he'll tell me
if these are going to pass.
If he reckons they're good
Which they are.
..then next week,
we'll be up with 1,000 guinea
for you to work with.
But know this, Mr Hartley,
after the stunt you've
pulled today
..it's going to take me
a bit to trust you
..so when I come up to Bell House
Yeah.
..with me 1,000 guineas
..I'm also going to be coming up
with a bunch of lads with guns.
Of course.
If you don't mind, Mr Rex Arkwright,
I've got me own lads
and I've got me own guns.
I would expect nowt less.
Respect, Mr Hartley
Aye.
..the core of business.
Can I ask you something,
Mr Rex Arkwright?
Aye, go on.
Do you recognise this man?
Should I?
Aye, you should.
Billy.
Every month, you come round to our
house, take our money for that loom,
the spinning wheel, knowing full
well you don't bring us any work.
Not only me. How many people in
this village do you do that to?
This again? Aye.
All right.
If you can pull in ten guinea
a week for me
..he has no debt with me.
And if you can pull in
100 guinea a week
..nobody in the village
has a debt to me.
How's that sound?
Looks like we have a deal,
Mr Rex Arkwright.
You'll not mind if we shake with
the left, eh? Absolutely not.
Shall we?
Who here's ever
seen 100 guineas before?
We've all!
LAUGHTER
It worked as it was expected.
It scared me. You proper scared me.
Yeah, sorry, ladies.
He had to buy it, didn't he?
Wowser! We're going to have
to up the operation.
Yeah, we're going to need more
components, I suppose.
We're going to need gardyloos,
for starters. What's a gardyloo?
In Brum, we use kids, as like Dixie.
They'd always whistle if men of the
law came through. There's our Ella.
Yeah. Yeah, she could fit.
They play on the moors.
What about Abe's lad?
Yeah, Hannah. No, Hannah, she
Yeah, but what would Abe say?
We've already got him clipping.
I don't want his fucking daughter
getting involved, do we?
No, but if she's
Followed by Hannah. She's amazing.
You saw her at the wake.
She were like Pied Piper in there.
She's a sweetie.
Hannah will sort them out.
She's got her head screwed on, Dave.
Right, well, maybe Hannah, then.
Definitely Hannah.
And who's this Portuguese
fella he's bringing?
He's coming to inspect the work,
so
Right, so he's coming to Bell House?
He's coming to Bell House, Grace.
The clothier? Aye. With who?
Another bloke. Dave, do we want
to be dealing with Portuguese
coin merchants? It's a bit fucking
late now, Isaac, isn't it?
Don't talk to me Stop it!
LAUGHTER
It went well. Really well, Dave.
A couple of teething problems,
but we're sorted.
Teething problems?! She's upset
He got his head stuck up
a fucking chimney!
LAUGHTER
I had to go in and pull him out!
Mand, you pulled him out? Yeah! No!
Mand, you're always angry.
You make me fucking angry!
I didn't plan for that bit.
Aye, but you got the job done.
Exactly. Great. Crag Vale!
ALL: Crag Vale!
Do you know? I was down at Dusty's
the other day and I got chatting
and this bloke says to me,
"You know your young un?
"He's setting up a gang."
What are you up to?
I'm not up to owt. What the
bloody hell would I need a gang for?
All I know is David Hartley is back,
he's got a pocket full of change,
you've got a spring in your step
and you're setting up
a gang of some sorts.
Summat's happening.
I've heard a rumour that you're
looking to put together
a team of gardyloos.
Sound about right?
There you go, petal. All in there.
Big feller.
Dusty, a couple of beers for me
old army mates here, please.
Sit down and I'll introduce you.
I might have myself
..about six or seven village kids.
I've been thinking about these kids
and about putting them together,
banding them up,
to create a sort of
..security company.
So, you'll be wondering
why I've got you here.
Absolutely. This friend of mine,
he's asked me
to pull a little team together.
I think we have a deal.
Do we have a deal? I think we do.
Do we shake on it? I think we do.
Let's shake on it, then.
Let's shake away.
Pleasure doing business with thee.
Pleasure doing business with me
as well.
I've gathered you here,
obviously, today
because I wanted to talk to you
all about joining together
and creating our own littlegang,
or security group, of sorts.
# Go tell everybody
you need everybody
# Go tell everybody
you need everybody
# Let us be reborn
# The ancient tribes
# Let us be reborn
# Go tell everybody
you need everybody
# Go tell everybody #
Now, all I can tell you about it
at this stage is there's going
to be some really heavy cargo.
Cargo? So, what's this cargo?
You don't need to know that. You'll
find out, Ethel, in time, like. Aye.
He's a nice feller, this feller.
He'll look after you,
but he wants his cargo protecting.
Right? And that's going to be your
job, my job, all of us jobs, right?
If anyone runs off at the mouth,
we will all end up swinging for it.
So, behave, basically? Yeah, behave.
We're here, aren't we, lads?
Aye, we'll do it. I'm in.
Drink to that.
That's us done. Drink up.
Good health, lads. Good health.
We need to be doing what we can,
as the youth of the community,
to keep
certain secrets from certain people.
# Into the fire
# Into the fire
# Into the fire
# Into the fire
# Into the fire
# Into the fire
# Into the fire
# Into the fire #
So, Broadbent, you're
vouching for these four? Yeah.
We'll die for you, Mr Hartley.
I'd die for you.
You'd die for me? I'd die for you.
Why? I admire what you're doing.
Right.
They're good lads, Dave.
I can't let you in the barn today,
lads. But I guarantee,
you go down to Barbs, I'll see you
right with a few pints.
Yeah, yeah, no worries. All right?
Thank you very much.
I'll walk with you.
CARRIAGE RATTLES
WHISTLES
BLOWS HORN
BLOWS HORN
WHISTLES
DISTANT HORN
DISTANT HORN
DEEPER HORN
Nice horse, lads.
Any funny business and it won't have
anything to pull home.
Good day, Mr Hartley.
Mr Arkwright. I trust you've
all been busy little bees.
Aye, that we have.
This is Grace.
Pleased to meet you, Grace.
And you.
105 guineas, as promised.
Right.
Well, get my little Iberian friend
to have a look, eh?
Absolutely.
What's Iberian?
Haven't got a fucking clue. Right.
The box.
Well, Mr Hartley
..seems like we might
be in business.
That's lovely news, that.
So, as promised,
1,000 guineas.
Now, who's your resident
bean counter?
Oh, there's no need for that.
There's got to be
an element of trust in all this.
And the trust starts here.
You're telling me there's 1,000
guineas in that there box,
Mr Arkwright,
1,000 guineas there is.
Right.
Grace.
See thee soon. See thee.
Thanks for calling, gentlemen.
Whoa! Come in!
Shall we?
Are we opening it, then, Dave,
or what? No, we're waiting, big man.
What for? For Hannah. For Hannah.
We've waited long enough now.
We're all in this together.
Just wait for her. Did a good job,
though, didn't we, Dave? I don't
know about you. You shit yourself.
Does she know she's got to come
back? There's no rush, is there?
Just wait. There's no rush.
She'll be here in no time.
Can't just leave her out there.
Well, I think that's wonderful.
Just a bit of patience, Broadbent.
We'll just have a quick look, won't
we? I'd have to wait next to you!
If that's got money in it, like we
hope, it could pay that bar bill off
I owe you.
Actually, you know what, Broadbent,
you're a really nice feller,
you are. Could pay your brothel
bill off and all! Oh, ye
of little faith! It's Hannah!
THEY CHEER
About bloody time! Woo-hoo!
ALL: Hannah! Hannah! Hannah! Hannah!
Hannah! Hannah!
Shut up, shut up!
You'll all be pleased to know
the clothier's pissed off back home!
THEY CHEER
Good! That stinking, thieving swine!
Steady.
Quiet!
Wow-fucking-wee!
How the fuck did we do that?
See, those fucking soldiers
were shiteing themselves.
That's fucking massive!
Really is. That's 50 guineas
a week for the village.
That's amazing!
Well done, everyone!
Everyone, well done!
CHEERS AND APPLAUSE
You looked dead hard.
Like, massively hard!
Right.
Someone needs to crack that box.
I'll do it. Will you?
Grace? Are you making me pick?
Just throw it open.
I'm the closest, I'll do it!
I've got to give it to little Louis.
CHEERS
Come on, Louis.
Come on lad.
Have you got it? Come on, Louis,
lad.
Does he know what he's
doing or what?
Course he knows what he's doing.
Shut up!
Well done, Louis.
Someone give us a drum roll.
Use your teeth, Louis.
CHEERING
Right, don't just fucking look
at 'em, get your hands on it!
Look what you've done.
Me? Aye.
Well, you were
the brains of the operation.
No-one's saying that.
It's what I'm saying.
Grace, when I were in Brum,
guineas only caused pain.
But look at that fucker.
That's total joy, that.
And Grace, I've never said
this before
because I, I'm a stubborn bastard,
I know that.
But I, I'm really sorry for the way
I fucked off seven year ago.
I should never have fucked off.
And, like, even having you as a
friend by me, I'm happy with that.
Just to have you by me side
is amazing.
Look, look, everyone look!
Everyone look!
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Oi, oi!
CHEERING
Oi! How long's that been going on?
It was just now.
Oh, just then? Just then?
Well, are you back together or what?
No! Broadbent! Give us a song.
Yes.
All right, all right. Go on, then.
# There's money in the box
# There's money in the box
# It's real gold I've been told
# Broadbent's house
has just been sold
# There's money in the box
# There's money in the box
Oh, it's real gold I've been told
# We'll get rich and we'll get old
# Money in the box
There's money in the box #
# So whether music or madness
# Live by one of the two
# By one of the two
# So go on, fill your heart up
with gladness
# Not a moment too soon
# Not a moment too soon
# Should we ration the reasons
# To the charts that ignore
# Of this I've never been sure
# So I will follow the feeling
# And sing fever to the form
# Oh, my fever to the form
# Cos the very thing you're afraid,
afraid of
# It keeps you clean but unclear
# Clean but unclear
# Is the dirt that you're made,
you're made of
# And that's nothing to fear
# No, it' s nothing my dear
# But how do I know what you're
thinking
# Maybe I thought it before
# Maybe that's why I'm at
your window
# Hear me at your door
# Singing give me some more
# Oh, fever to the form
# Won't you hear me at your door
# Singing give me some more
# Cos you were never empty
# And we've been here before
# Yes, we've been here before
# But now there's always plenty
# Yet still we ask for more
# Singing fever to the form. #
THUNDER RUMBLES
Arise King David Hartley.